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PAGE 8A
I FORSYTH COUNTY NEWS Wednesday, April 28,2004
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writing in 2004 on their personal check*,
Abusive husband shows no sign ofchanging
DEAR ABBY: I am a 23-year-old mother
of three. Ever since our marriage
five years ago, my husband.
“Kurt,” has been verbally and emo
tionally abusive. He has cursed me
at least once a day. At times, he is
emotionally abusive to our kids,
who are 2, 3 and 4. I have asked
Kurt to leave, but he refuses and
I don’t know if I really want him
to.
A couple of weeks ago, I told
Kurt 1 am no longer in love with him, and if
things don't change, I want a divorce.
Things went well for a couple of weeks,
but now the abuse has resumed. I don’t
know what to do. 1 have tried everything. 1
asked him to go for marriage counseling.
He refused. 1 just want him to change, and I
don’t think he ever will.
He calls me terrible names in front of
the kids. When my little girl asks him to fix
breakfast, he'll say “no” just to make her
cry. He claims he’s "just playing," but he
knows what it does to her. Please help.
CRAZY IN TENNESSEE
DEAR CRAZY: As far back as 1996, the
American Psychology Association reported
that 40 percent to 60 percent of men who
abused their female partners also abused
their children. Is this the kind of atmos
phere in which you want your children
raised? Your husband’s refusal to seek mar
riage counseling indicates that he has no
intention of changing his pattern. It’s bad
enough that he takes his hostility out on
you daily. But for him to take pleasure in
making your daughter cry is sick.
Please don’t let your husband's refusal
to go for counseling deter you from getting
“ h'jl
Joyce Jillson
TODAY’S BIRTHDAY
(April 28). Your amazing
ambition drives you to new
heights this year! When you
say you’re going to do it. you
do, so tell everyone your big
goal in the next 10 weeks.
Colleagues could elect you to
lead the team in August.
You'll hit a home run. so to
speak, in September and
could be paid twice what
you’re paid now. too. Cancer
and Leo are soul mates. Your
lucky numbers are: 43. 22,
14,31 and 39.
ARIES (March 21-April
19) The most powerful step
you can take is not to sit in
judgment, not even judgment
of yourself. Nobody is per
fect. Make up your mind not
to put yourself down ever
again. The evening brings a
new romantic prospect.
TAURUS (April 20-May
20) You’re working hard,
and your work is appreciated.
Diversify, and take chances
instead of relying on what
you’re good at. Using more
than one of your talents will
keep you on the road to hap
piness.
Speed Bump Dave Coverly
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professional help to aid you in deciding
Hr nW
I Jeanne Phillips
year. A few months ago, we started having
sex, and since then, we’ve been having sex
every day, sometimes up to four times a
day. Abby, I don’t want to be doing this so
regularly, but Johnny seems to want it all
the time. I like making love with him. but
not all the time. He says it’s special and
meaningful, but it's starting to seem like
he’s using me.
The other day, I told Johnny I didn’t
want to do it, but it happened anyway. I
didn’t resist, so it wasn't like he raped me
or anything, but it wasn’t right. What
should I do?
TOO MUCH SEX IN
VICTORVILLE
DEAR TOO MUCH: Wake up. honey. You
are being used. You are being treated like a
convenience, not a person, and this isn’t
love.
And I have more bad news when a per
son says “no" to sex and it “happens any
way,” that is the definition of rape.
I urge you to pick up the phone and call
R.A.I.N.N. (Rape, Abuse, Incest National
Network). The toll-free number is 800-656-
4673. They can help you to clearly under
stand what happened and find counseling.
Under the stars ’ gaze
GEMINI (May 21-June
21) You need to be constant
ly challenged and account
able to others to deliver to
the best of your ability.
Wealthy acquaintances sup
port a business project if you
offer something lucrative in
the distance.
CANCER (June 22-July
22) You're looking for a
worthy partner. Place your
self where the most people
who fit your qualifications
are likely to show up.
Otherwise, you wind up try
ing to mold someone to fit
your ideal, which is exhaust
ing.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). If
you don't follow up on your
brilliant ideas, someone else
will! Strategizing with a
Virgo or Cancer helps you
come up with smart business
moves. Make room in your
heart for someone who does
n't know how to fit in.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22).
Giving advice is not nearly
as fun as taking it. Avoid
malaise by introducing your
self to a new environment.
While you’re expanding your
self-definition, you'll also be
expanding your romantic
options. Sparks fly with a
Sagittarius.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23).
Be the leader, and you will
have a team/crew/army. Like
an actor, you create this
archetypal character in your
self and play the part. Yours
is a unique take on the role.
A Leo makes you want to get
how best to protect yourself and
your children. Cruel words
erode the self-esteem like the
ocean eats away the shore. And
for children to be exposed to it
day after day can cause lifelong
damage.
DEAR ABBY: I am 17 and have
been going out with my
boyfriend, “Johnny,” for about a
serious about love.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov.
21). What do you say to
yourself? Keep track. By
identifying your good points
and thinking sunny thoughts,
you will improve your self
image. Eventually, you’ll be
able to control and later elim
inate negative thinking.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-
Dec. 21). Make headway in
projects that require organi
zation and a clear picture of
the future. Contact influential
people and get ready to pull
things together. A business
maneuver leads to an unex
pected financial bonus.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-
Jan. 19). You’re meant for
something big. There’s con
flict between home and work
demands. Stay flexible, and
keep in mind that a so-called
crisis can possibly be han
dled without you. Step back,
and let others figure it out.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb.
18). Living with humans
isn’t always fun. but handling
intense emotions is easier
when you know it's for the
best. You are very attractive,
and jealous folks may talk
about you. but take it as a
good sign.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March
20). The best way to favor
ably impress people is to let
them know that you are
favorably impressed by them.
You are attracted to positive
people and know better than
to dwell on problems while
in their company.