Newspaper Page Text
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Difference in sense of humor sex
Looking for a column
topic, 1 decided to con¬
sult the Internet, or as
my mother calls it,
“those Internets."
What I found was a lot
of naked people, which
is difficult (and most
probably illegal) to write
a newspaper column
about.
Between naked people,
I also found a story about
how women supposedly
have a more refined
sense of humor than
men. According to the
Associated Press story, a
Stanford University
research team found that
“women were more ana¬
lytical in their response,
and felt more pleasure
when they decided some¬
thing really was funny"
than men. The leader of
the research team, Dr.
Allan L. Reiss, said that
men are less discriminat¬
ing in what they consider
comical.
Remembering a tale of a love gone
There wasn’t very much
of me back then. 1 was a
tiny girl, just big enough to
reach up and grab hold of
the wooden counter top in
that old country store. I
would lift my chin enough
to peer in quiet fascination
at the man who rang up the
items that Mama had laid
down.
Though there wasn’t a
lot 1 knew' at 6 years old,
this much I did know: The
man ringing up the gro¬
ceries was handsome with
an easy smile. He patted
my head and winked and I
suppose it was my first
fleeting brush w ith a crush.
Adults talk. They forget
that children with big ears
are around so they carry on
whatever conversation they
please as though there is no
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S E R V ICE. T RUTH . W I S H O M
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COL (ret), U.$: Army Community volunteer !Ws *> PM tor«»c«*> Ms tor tie NOCSU FouttlSor education for life and leadership
FORSYTH COUNTY NEWS | forsythnews.com SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 13.2011
LEN ROBBINS
Columnist
Reiss said, "It doesn’t
take a lot of analytical
machinery to think
someone getting poked
in the eye is funny.” He,
he poked in the eye.
What did he say before
that? Some kind of
machine?
Anyway, with the
story, I found an accom¬
panying "humor test”
from queendom.com that
is supposed to gauge
your sense of humor.
1 think it’s fair to say
that I have probably the
keenest and most devel¬
oped sense of humor on
the planet. It’s not true,
but it’s fair to say. In tak¬
ing this multiple choice
RONDARICH
Columnist
loss of innocence at stake.
On the way home, I tucked
into the back seat of the
white Pontiac sedan, and
began combing the hair of
my Barbie doll that was
close to bald for all the
combings and cuttings she
had taken.
“He looks good, don't
he?” Mama asked in a way
that didn’t require a reply,
talking to a friend who was
in the front seat with her.
“All those years in the
chain gang didn’t do him
“humor test," though, I
really didn’t find the
choices funny or
answerable in all hon¬
esty. Below is the quiz,
in a condensed format.
Every last answer is
mine. Let’s see who’s
funny now.
1) You arrive at a
party and find that two
people, a man and a
woman, are wearing the
exact same thing as you.
How do you react?
A. 1 am not at all
amused and 1 am too
embarrassed to stay at
the party.
B. I am amused and
smile to myself.
C. I think this is really
funny and may even walk
up to the person and
laugh about it with them.
My answer: Why
would 1 care what other
people are wearing, or
myself for that matter?
I’m a dude.
2) You’re stuck on a
no harm, I don’t reckon.”
1 would grow- up, hearing
my parents refer to people
who went to prison as
being “on the chain gang,"
a throwback to the days
w'hen prisoners, primarily
in the South, were chained
together in order to do hard
labor in the hot, relentless
sun. Judges often pro
nounced in their sentenc¬
ing, “Five years of hard
labor.”
But by that point in late
1960s, the chain gang had
been abolished for a good
decade. Yet for some rea¬
son, Mama and Daddy
hadn’t gotten the memo.
They would continue to
refer to hard prison time as
the “chain gang.”
As Mama talked on
about the winking man, a
bus for six hours and
are bored out of your
skull. What do you do
to amuse yourself?
A. 1 make flatulent
noises and watch other
passengers start looking
for the culprit.
B. I read the “Calvin &
Hobbes" book 1 brought
along.
C. 1 hum some songs to
myself.
My answer: “Calvin &
Hobbes"? What kind of
dork would be reading a
“Calvin & Hobbes” book
on a bus? That said, 1
would choose A.
3) Which TV show
world would you fit
right into?
A. “The Cosby Show”
or “Roseanne.”
B. "The Simpsons” or
“Seinfield.”
3. “Law & Order” or
“Oz.”
My answer: I found
these answers quite odd.
“Cosby” and “Roseanne”
riveting story unfolded, so
mesmerizing that I stopped
combing Barbie's hair. It
sounded like the story from
that television show, “The
Fugitive,” the one that
Daddy watched every
week.
That handsome boy had
once been in love with a
beautiful girl. A beauty
queen, no less, and that’s
easy to imagine because
heaven knows the South
loves pretty girls and pag¬
eant queens. He had caught
her with another man. Not
that I knew what that
meant, but I was pretty sure
it was bad. And, then, in
the flash of an angry
moment, the kind of
moment that a man pays
for every day for the rest of
his life, he shot her dead.
are so dissimilar.
Nevertheless, my answer
would be "My Name is
Earl.” I went to high
school with everyone on
that show.
4) W hich “slogan T
shirt” would you most
likely wear — if you
had to wear one?
A. “Growing old is
mandatory. Growing up
is optional."
B. “I’m really easy to
get along w ith once peo¬
ple learn to worship me.”
C. “I’m with Stupid.”
My answer: I actually
have one, a picture of
Gary Coleman with the
quote, "What You Talkin'
About Willis?”
5) W hat kind of jokes
do you prefer?
A. Dark, sarcastic
jokes.
B. Blond jokes and
dirty jokes.
C. Knock-knock jokes.
My answ'er: Jokes that
begin with “The pope,
I put the Barbie doll
down. 1 slid forward and
stuck my head across the
seat. “He killed her ?” 1
asked.
“Yes, he did," Mama
replied, unconcerned over
any loss of childhood inno¬
cence. Mama always
thought that the best way to
deal with life was to meet it
head on. She didn’t shelter
me. She taught me the real¬
ity of life.
1 was fascinated. That
boy was handsome. He
winked at me. But he had
killed someone and that
someone was a beautiful
woman. The next time we
went to the store, I peeped
around stacks of pork and
beans and stated at him. 1
selected an orange push-up
from the ice cream box
George W. Bush, and a
rhesus monkey walk into
a bar...”
6) What’s your idea of
a funny practical joke?
A. Whoopee cushion.
B. Saran wrap on the
toilet bowl.
C. Prank calling.
My answer: AH of the
above, and you must also
include setting fire to dog
poop on somebody's
front stoop and ringing
their doorbell. That’s a
classic.
Women have a better
sense of humor than me?
1 think not. Case in point:
I haven’t met a woman
yet that truly understands
the comic genius of “The
Three Stooges." Dr.
Whats-his-fish wouldn’t
know funny if it poked
him in the eye.
He, he — poked in the
eye.
Len Robbins is the publisher
of the Clinch County News.
then wandered over to the
counter where Mama was
paying.
He smiled. “Hi pretty
girl.”
That was probably the
beginning of my intrigue
with men who carry trou¬
ble around with them like
it’s a cozy, favorite sweat
shirt. I’ve thought of him
hundreds of times. That old
store is long closed down
but 1 wonder about him.
Did he ever love again?
Did he ever forget her?
1 wish I knew how his
story ended.
Ronda Rich is the best-sell¬
ing author of "What
Southern Women Know
(That Every Woman
Should)." Visit www.ron
darich.com for more.