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Student needs help
on her anger issues
DEAR ABBY
Jeanne Phillips
pressed, it can be
extremely harmful and
even a killer. The chal
lenge that everyone faces
is how not to deny the
feeling but to express the
anger — or diffuse it —
in ways that are produc
tive.
In a situation like
yours, saying out loud in
a controlled manner that
something has made you
angry can be like releas
ing steam from a pressure
cooker. It’s certainly more
productive than making a
bullying gesture; hitting a
wall with your fist
implies that the next
punch might land on the
person who pushed your
buttons. In my booklet
“The Anger in All of Us
and How to Deal With It,”
I offer many suggestions
that can help you manage
your emotions in a more
constructive way. It can
be ordered by sending
your name and mailing
address, plus a check or
money order for $7 (U.S.
funds), to Dear Abby —
Anger Booklet, P.O. Box
447, Mount Morris, IL
61054-0447. Shipping
and handling are included
in the price. Please under
stand how important it is
that you learn to manage
and channel your emo
tions more constructively
than you currently do.
I know that if you learn
to manage and control
your anger, you will ben
efit greatly as you move
forward in life. I have
faith in you!
DEAR ABBY: I am 21
and I have an anger prob
lem. Sometimes when my
friends, roommates or my
boyfriend do something
that annoys me, I feel so
mad that I can’t concen
trate on anything I have to
get done.
I'm having that prob
lem right now because
one of my roommates
was mean to me tonight. I
think I'm owed an apolo
gy, but I know I won’t be
getting one. I can’t talk to
her. I know if I do I'll just
feel worse and we won’t
get anywhere. I can’t
even concentrate on writ
ing my paper because I'm
so ticked off!
Is it normal to get this
mad? How can 1 control
my anger better? Taking a
deep breath and counting
to 10 just makes me feel .
angrier. I'd feel better if I
punched the wall, but the
last time I did that 1
bruised my fist. Do you
have any guidelines?
— CONSUMED BY
ANGER IN HERNDON,
VA.
DEAR CONSUMED
BY ANGER: Anger is a
normal emotion.
Everybody has experi
enced it at one time or
another. Most people
have been trained to sup
press anger from early
childhood. But it’s even
more important td learn
to express anger in ways
that are constructive rath
er than destructive.
Punching a wall falls into
the latter category and
can result in injury to you
and possibly the wall, as
‘you found out.
If it is channeled in the
right direction, anger can
be a positive emotion.
Uncontrolled, or sup-
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