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| FORSYTH COUNTY NEWS | forsythnews.com
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Pluggers by Gary Brookins
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Woman resents
“status digger” label
DEAR ABBY
Jeanne Phillips
DEAR ABBY: | have
been seeing “Tony” for a
few weeks. He is kind,
caring and will make a
great boyfriend, husband
and father someday. My
problem with him is he
thinks I'm a “status dig
ger.” (It’s similar to a gold
digger, but he means I
care only about some
one’s standing in the
community.) His rationale
is based on my friend
ships.
Because I grew us here,
it was only natural I'd
date guys from a similar
background. While I was
not opposed to dating
outside my social circle,
the opportynity never pre
semed%(t)self.
Abby, 1 have never
measured a guy because
of his position in society.
The thought never
occurred to me. I admit I
would probably be more
inclined to date someone
from a similar back
ground because that’s
what I'm familiar with,
but I don’t think this
makes me a social climb
er, status digger or elitist.
How should I address
this with Tony? I'm afraid
our relationship will end
if he can’t see me for who
I really am. -- JUST ME
IN H(gUSTON
DEAR JUST ME: Tony
may come from a blue
collar background.
Because he perceives you
and your friends as hav
ing had so much given to
you, he may feel inade
quate, so he’s putting you
on the defensive by
accusing you of being
solely interested in social
status. Of course, that’s
stereotyping, and it isn’t
fair to you.
You and T(:g{kshould
have a frank talk. When
ggu do, suggest that
fore he assumes any
more preconceptions
about Jou are true, he
should get to know you --
because if he doesn't, he
will miss out on someone
who is not only vu-Lnsice.
but who thinks HE has a
lot to offer.
DEAR ABBY: When I
was in my 20s, I was
involved in a long-term
relationship with a mar
ried man. F became preg
nant, we ended the rela
tionship and I gave birth
to an amazing, intelligent
and well-adjusted son,
(lele.!'
Now that Kyle is an
adult, he has expressed an
interest in contacting his
father. He is curious, but
doesn’t want to disrupt
his father’s life. The man
is easy to locate on social
media because he has an
unusual last name.
1 don’t want to see my
son hurt by rejection or
lack of interest from this
man. Should I make the
initial contact? If so, what
would be the best way to
do it? -- PROTECTIVE
MOM IN TENNESSEE
DEAR PROTECTIVE
MOM: Your impulse may
be to protect your son, but
Kyle should make the
contact. When he does, he
should tell the man that
you are his mother, and'
that he would like to meet
him for no other reason
than to ask him some
questions and get his
medical history. The
response Kyle gets will
tell him a lot about the
man who fathered him.
But there is no guarantee
that a man who never pro
vided financial support
for his son will be recep
tive, compassionate or
polite, and your son
should be prepared.