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Dad is obsessed with who
will inherit his possessions
DEAR ABBY: My father
— aged 68, active and in
good health — has become
increasingly obsessed with
deciding who will get which
of his belongings when he
passes. Almost every con
versation now consists of
some form of ‘Do you think
your cousin Joey would like
my antique fishing lure col
lection?” I’'m glad he’s
thinking ahead and putting
his affairs in order, but it has
been months since we’ve
been able to talk about nor
mal things, and I feel like
he’s missing out on living in
the present.
I finally had to tell Dad to
stop asking my young kids
which of his childhood toys
they would like when he
dies because it was freaking
them out. They no longer
want to go over there
because they’re terrified he’s
going to keel over in front of
them.
How do I get him to stop
this, move on and continue
living his life? I’m pretty
sure he doesn’t have an ill
ness he’s keeping secret.
Obsessiveness is normal for
him, but this topic is new. —
ADULT SON IN
FLORIDA
DEAR ADULT SON:
Have you asked your father
directly what has caused this
change in his behavior? If
you haven’t, you should.
Have you any idea how long
it has been since his last
physical and neurological
examination? If it has been
more than a year, suggest the
two of you go together to
make absolutely sure noth
ing is wrong with him. ;
Because you prefer he
stop talking about death and
distribution of assets with
your children, let him know
that today’s young people
prefer electronic. gadgets
rather than the toys he
played with in his youth. It’s
the truth, and he needs to
hear it.
DEAR ABBY: I belong to
DEAR ABBY
Jeanne Phillips
a group of men who play
golf twice a week. After a
round of golf, we’ll have a
couple of pitchers of beer to
relax. We take tumns buying
the beer for the group, but
there is no set rotation.
Sometimes you may buy
two pitchers, others you
don’t buy any.
One member of the group
drinks the beer but never
buys, even when it’s obvious
that he hasn’t after many
opportunities. Several of us
are upset by his selfishness,
and we have made com
ments to him about it. They
roll off him like water off a
duck’s back. How do you
think we should handle this
selfish individual? —STEP
UP TO THE BAR IN
TEXAS
DEAR STEP UP: Try
say, “It’s your turn!” But if
that doesn’t work, next time
‘make it each man for himself
and switch to bottles or
glasses.
DEAR ABBY: Every
Christmas, my daughter-in
law makes plans with her
family on Christmas Day
when they come in from out
of town. I cannot remember
the last time we had a
Christmas Day with our son.
We are not even invited over
for a cup of coffee. Any sug
gestions? — UNHAPPY
HOLIDAYS IN
NEBRASKA
DEAR UNHAPPY
HOLIDAYS: Yes. I think in
the interest of faimess, those
nate — odd years with one
set of in-laws, even years
with the other. However, if
that doesn’t work, an alterna
tive might be to invite every
one to your home. ;
9B