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7 DAILY ENQUIRER - RUN: COLUMBUS, GEORGIA, FRIDAY MORNING, DECEMBER 1886 Murk Twnln'v I.n.t idea, iPlttsburg Diipatoh. Mark Twain says that th« funniest thins be evr , r wrote came to an uuUinoly end wild wa i lost entirely to the world. It was id his early western days, when he was a reporter oil the Chronicle of Virginia City, Nevada. In those duys, when the saloon was the social centre of the town, and the •opening of each new one a matter of gen eral interest, it ivus the custom for the proprietor of a new venture in liquid re freshments to send a basket of his choicest wares to the newspaper ofiioe, and for the editor to return the eoiuplimeut by giving a glowing account of the opening. One day a busket ot unusually choice wines from a saloon that was to be of an uu- usually aristocratic order, inspired Mark With a brilliant idea. He wrote a few lines in straight good English, but the next be gan to be pretty badly mixed, mid as he represented one bottle after another as having been samp led, approved and emptied, lie drifted on into worse and worse confusion, until he finally brought up in an intoxieable tangle of ineohereucy, such as might be supposed to possess the brain of a man who had drank a basket of mixed wine. But when the paper came out he searched it over •and oyer in vain for his cherished article. It was not there. Bat he did tiud a brief paragraph, selling forth in the most com monplace, conventional way imaginable the fact that a basket of wines hau been received from Mr. , that they were very flue, and thut “we bespeak for him the liberal patronage lie deserves.” With fire in his eye and prolunity on his lips Mark started on his investigation, and soon settled the blame on the head of one oi the printers. “Why,” said the fellow, “I couldn’t make head nor tail out 01 the copy, and I concluded Mr. Clemens must have been pretty full when he wrote it. I heard the editor say last week Inat if he got drunk again he’d discharge him, and I thought if that Stull got into the paper-he’d have to go sure. So I tore it up and wrote this myself. Just thought J’d save his place for him if 1 could.” Before this honest friend, whose zeal for his welfare had not left a piece of his prized article as big as a nickel, Mark could say no more. But be could iiot re- g roduce it. It had been the swift and rilliaut inspiration of the moment, and was completely gone. But he moaned long over the fate of what he always be lieved to be his most brilliant production. More Money for four Work If you improve good opportunities. Hal- ietfc & Co., Portland, Maine, will mail free full informatjpn showing now you can make from $6 to $25 and upwards a day and live at home wherever you are located. Better write.; some have made over $50 iu a day; all new. No capital required; started free. Both sexes; all ages. Suc cess for every worker. Send address and aee for yourself. oc2fi d6m Won qualified. Editor—So you’d like a position on this paper, young man? Applicant—Yes, sir. Editor-Well, have you any qualifica tions for the business? F„ J V P ,? 1 l < l Unt ~ Yus ’, 1 think so - At least I lasted three weeks ouee on a bet.—New Haven News. Almost every one is troubled with nerv ousness in some form, and nine-tenths of the prevailing illness comes from nervous exhaustion, brought ou by overwork mental strain or dissipation. No wonder people are asking for a reliable nerve remedy like Moxie Nerve Food ; it builds you up, and strengthens your whole nerv ous system. Try it. SI unite, hut True. Brooklyn Dressmaker (to .servant)—Is Mrs. Levy in? Servant— Yes. Dressmaker—Is she engaged? Servant—No, she is married.—New York Sun. Advice to Mothers.—Mrs. Winslow’s Soothing Syrup should always be used when children are cutting teeth. It re lieves the little sufferer at once; it produces natural, quiet sleep by relieving the child from pain, and the little cherub awakes as “bright as a button.” It is very pleasant to taste. It soothes the child, softens the gums, allays all pain, relieves wind, regu lates the bowels and is the best known remedy for diarrhoea, whether arising from teething or other causes. Twenty- live cents a bottle. jel7 d&wly Anxious About Their Morals. While Lord Lonsdale was in New York an American expressed surprise to the earl that so young a man should be intrusted with absolute power to appoint thirty curates to church livings in England. “Oh, I appoint forty-two curates,” said the no ble lord, “and very particular lam, too, about their moral character.”New York Sun. iJUCKI.Ejrs A KMC A SALVE. The best Salve in the world for Cuts, Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt ltlieuin, Fever So/es, Tetter, Chapped Hands, Chilhlnins, Corns and all Skin Eruptions, and positive ly cures Piles, or no pay is required. It is guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction, or money refunded. Price 25 cents per box. For sale by Brannon & Carson. je24 oedAw A Dflu dunged by a Monkey. A large Panama monkey, owned by Wil liam H. Cooper, of Seabright, hanged a valuable sporting dog recently. The dog was playing in the yard with the monkey, and had a rope trailing from a collar. The monkey seized the rope and ran up a tree with it. The dog stood on his hind legs barking at the monkey for some time, and taking advantage of his position the mon key managed to entangle the rope around a limb. The dog in trying to escape was strangled to death.—New York bun. O, the shaking of the ague ! O, the tortures of Neuralgia! O, the misery of dyspepsia! O, the wretchedness oi headache! O, the gripes of bilious colic! All of these will surely vanish Like the snow befor the Soutbwind, If you’ll only take Smith’s Bile Bean.). You can buy them at your drug store For a quarter of a dollar; And if you will only try them You will never be without them. decl eod&wlm ur. Ut* Interest to the I hie!. JZJfexXB&ASBK inst. a dark bay mare, fifteen hands hiph Ira Sampson, the imdei'>i„nca. i ble jjarticulars^regarding the funeral ofolie thie’r That’S the kind of n man I am.’ Don have tr bottle. ’t vield to rheumatism until you rUSalvation Oil. Price*, mmts night with a mixture that lias an egg beaten ill it; over Ibis, to keep it from soil ing t he pillow and to keep the air out, I tie a quilted mask with openings for mv eyes, nose and mouth, and I cannot. think of stopping it now. You would have to know it a little later on, and you might as well get used to it in the beginning.” She told this her very self, and added that men were so queer, because he made a great row about it and chose to sleep on a lounge.—San Francisco Report. Saved His l.ile. Mr. D. I. VVilcoxson, of Horse Cave. Ky., says ho was, for many years, badly uflliotea with Phthisic, also Diabetes; the pains were almost unendurable and would some times almost throw him into convulsions. He tried Electric Bitters and got relief from tlrst bottle and after taking six bot tles, was entirely cured, and bad gained in flesh eighteen pounds. Says he positively believes lie would have died, had it not been for the relief afforded by Electric Bit ters. Sold at 60c. a bottle by Brannon & Carson. eod&w rile (iriltetil! Clllli'llluan. “ I am going to make you a handsome Christmas present,” said a Wall street broker to his coachman. “Thank you, sir,” replied the coachman, who expected something handsome. “I’ll give you all you have stolen from me during the past year.” “Thank you, sir: thank you. 1 hope all your customers will treat you as liberally.” —Texas Siftings. ••Ill' Ill'-I’AIBA.” Quick, complete cure, all annoying Kid- I ney, Bladder and Urinary Diseases, fl - . At druggists. ••liot'fill OX l.ll.E" PII.I.s. Small grannies, small dose, big results, pleasant in operation, don’t disturb the stomach. 10c and 2oc. “HOl'hll OX OHM." Ask for “Rough on Dirt.” A perfect washing powder lound at last ! A harm less, extra line A 1 article, pure and clean ; sweetens, freshens, bleaches and whitens without slightest injury to finest fabric. Unequaled for line linens and laces, gen eral household, kitchen and laundry use. Softens water, saves labor and soap. Added to starch prevents yellowing. 6c, I 10c, 26c, at Grocers. d&wtf i ADMINISTRATOR’S SALE. nr L IU. KNOlVItES ACrt., Auctioneer*. By virtue of mi order from the court of ordinary of Mtt«c!o;,vo county, Georgia. I will sell to thv< highetit bidder, nt public outcry, in front ol’ the miction house of P. M. Knowles & t'o . Broad street, in the city of Columbu>, Georgia, the usual place of holding sheriff sales, in and for said county, on lhe first Tiles ay In January, next, between the legal hours of sale, the follow ing described real estutc: Part of lot one hun dred and ninety-one in the Ninetenth < 19th district. Muscogee county, Georgia, containing fifty acres; also a large seven-room Dwelling House, crib, stable, etc.; also large garden con tainirg one acre, and large orchard; being ten GO) miles nor li of Columbus and one qunr er of a mile rom Columbus and Home railroad, adjournig Fortson’s on southeast, the same being the real estate of Win Hodge, de ceased. Sold for division. Terms cosh. C. F. DIXON. Adrn'r of Win, Hodge, deceased. dec7 oawtd SMITH'S (<£> ti ry ■ ’,i onee & m yn i will n 'vor to« ’'dec. 2b CvM’ts ,ier bolfi.i. Sold v . .-loJIclnr} nc.iornllj-. Sor.t on t. prico in stamps, postpaid, to any address, Manufacturers pad U. F. sou m & CO ron?.. ST. LOUIS. M* l’liintiitlon Philosophy. I’be got mo’ ’spect fur er kine hearted fool den I has fur er cruel wise man. De bus’ness dat makes drunkards only thrives when dur is er sober man at de head o’ it. Nine times outen ten de man wliat is alius er sayin’ dat man is got er stronger mine den er ’oman ain’t able to control his own apertite. De man what doan know nothin’ but book l’arnin’ is all right long ez he is in de parlor, but he ain’t much er count when he gits out inter de woods.—Arkan- saw Traveller. ^ Of all the popular favorites, the genuine article is Dr. Bull’s Cough Syrup. dec52 d&wlw Between Statesmen. Mr. Hiscock accuses Mr. Morrison of op posing the tobacco bill in return for repuo lican opposition to the Morrison bill. That’s a sort of tobacco quid pro quo.— Boston Herald. ^ The Puriigraplier’s Bequest. Bring f rth the flannels, Mary Jane, From out the camphcred box, And brush the cheap tobacco from My home-made woolen socks. And while you’re at it, Mary Jane, Bring forth my carnival toque, And blanket suit, but for goodness sake Don’t let out the oyster joke. —St. Paul Herald. DYSPEPSIA I i Up to a few weeks ago I considered mv [ selfthe champion Dyspeptic oi' America. During the years that I inn e been ufiliotud ; T have tried almost everything claimed to he a specific for Dyspepsia in the hope of finding something' that would afford per- : manent relief. 1 had about made up my : min'd to abandon all medicines when I no- ; ticed an endorsement of Simmons Liver Regulator by a prominent. Georgian, a | jurist whom I knew, and concluded t.o try its effects in my case. 1 have used but I two bottles, and am satisfied that 1 have ! slruck the right, thing at last. I felt its beneficial effects almost immediately. Unlike all other preparations of a similar i kind, no special instructions are required | as to what one shall or shall not eat. This ' fact alone ought to commend it to all troubled with Dyspepsia. ' J. N. HOLMES, Vineland, N. J. CONSTIPATION. To S^oiirc a Kogiilnr Habit of Body without ehntiK'iitK tlic IHvt or His- orft-aiiiKing- the System, tnko Only UKNIINK Mann fact iirod by J.ll.ZeUin it Co., Philadelphia, eod sc&w fol rd rat BALL’S M other’s Friend Not only shortens the time of labor and lessens the in tensity of pain, but it great ly diminishes the danger to life of both mother and child and leaves the mother in a condition highly favorable to speedy recovery, and far less liable to Flooding, Con vulsions, and other alarming symptoms incident to slow or painfril labor. Its wonder ful efficacy in this respect Entitles it to be called The Moth mc’s Frifnd and to be ranked as one of the life- saving remedies of the nine teenth century. We cannot publish certifi cates concerning this reme dy without wounding the delicacy of the writers. Yet we have hundreds on file. Send for our book, “To Mothers,” mailed free Bradfield Regulator Co., Atlanta, Ga. jy21 eod&w nrm (2) n RA0FI ELD'S FEMALE REGULATOR Invite Your Attention to Tlieir Long List of Useful, Inexpensive & Appropriate Holiday Gifts, Cassimere and Cashmere Shawls, double and single, black and colors. A splendid line of Ladies' Traveling and Shop ping Bags. Kid and Fabric Gloves of every description. Silk Handkerchiefs and Silk Mu filers : Ladies' and Genllo- men's Hemmed and Corded and Hemstitched Handkerchiefs, plain and colored borders—a splendid line. The largest line of Embroidered Handkerchiefs it has ever been our pleasure to show. Some very choice Wraps left to he sold very cheap. Handsome Blankets. Could a more common sense present he made? nil: FANCY COOIIS DEIMT IS FULL til’ NOVELTIES! I You can buy such useful presents in our Dress Goods de- : parlmenl. Blaek Silks. Colored Silks, Black Cashmeres, ; Black Dress Goods of every descriplion. A splendid line of Ladies' Silk Umbrellas with gold and silver heads, good qualities and cheap. I Rich and elegant Table Linens and Napkins, by the yard and in sets. A large variety of Brussels and Nottingham I Lace Curtains; they are not expensive; llicy are cheap. Table Covers and Table Scarfs. High Novelties in La dies' and Children’s Hosiery, lovely goods. We are showing fresh goods in every department in the house. A beautiful line of Ginghams just received. A beautiful line of Prints just received. We are displaying the following new Bustles : Lucca, Lotta, Patti and Fedora. Novelties in Ladies’ Gossamers. Gossamers ot every description for Ladies and children, and a great many other tilings which we haven't room to mention here. We are offering bargains all through our house. Come and try us. BLANCHARD, BOOTH & HUFF Constructed With Our Own “Patent Eyelet ” Batteries,” Surpass iu imwer and permanency all ami uverf other device to apply magnetism to the human system. Our record stands at 85 percent of an curable eases cured. Throat. Lung, Stomach, Kidney, Liver and almost every other trouble yields to the mild yet persistent currents of mag netism, as applied by our methods. The Belt and Invigorator impart great strength, warmth and comfort, and the Dyspeptic, Nervous, weak and desponding, become hopeful and genial, and enjoy life again. • j 0 K S R ^ V.-B'.T mad* that c Most happily meets the demand of the age for woman’s peculiar afflictions, it is a remedy for WOMAN ONLY, and for one special class of her diseases. It is a specific for certain diseased con ditions of the womb, uud so controls the Menstrual organs as to regulate a'l derangements , and irregularities of her Monthly Sickness. The. : proprietors claim for this remedy no other medi- I cal property. it is strictly a Vegetable Com pound. the studied prescription oi’ a learned phy- I sician whose specialty was Female Diseases, j and whose fame became enviable because of his , success in the treatment and cure of female com- ; plaints. .SufTer1n9woman.it will relieve you of; nearly all complaints peculiar to your sex. For sale by druggists. Write for book, “Mes ' sage to Woman,” mailed free. Bradfield Regulator Co., Atlanta, Ga. eod&w nvm Catarrh - im iim: ■ d:f:?i.y satisfactory ' *’ i’s 7,.- <•.* .—funded hv sfcTN* ' - .ra-iv M mvV, ui.dpn. e.,. Beware* •: . • • _.t. »».e gc.iE.ne without .BalJ' A G<2> CCK«ET C«i ! 3 L Sit.. New York. •>• '•■•’ i-hnnuia utat> DRUNKENNESS OR THE LIQUOR HABIT, POSITIVELY CURED BY ADMINISTERING DR. HAINES’ GOLDEN SPECIFIC. It can be given in a cup of coffee or tea without the knowledge of the person tak ing it; is absolutely harmless, ami will ef fect a permanent and speedy cure, whether the patient is a moderate drinker or an al coholic wreck. It has been given in thou sands of cases, and in every instance a per fect cure has followed. It never fails. The system once impregnated with the Specific, it becomes an utter impossibility for the liquor appetite to exist. For Sale by FOR SALE BY GOOD BARGAINS —-A-T u M. D. HOOD A CO., 93 BROAD ST., COLITMBUH, GA. Call or write for circular & full particulars. N.W.AYER&SON ADVERTISING agents nuSi FflilMELPHIA Cor. Chestnut and eighth Htg# Receive Advertisements for this Pape.* CCTIIIATEC For JEWNPAFKRADVERTISING cnpc CJ 1 l Flo nt Lowest Cash Rateu * ntr S .^.»AYER & SOU'S eNUfil MUSCOGEE SHERIFF SALE. One lot (50 dozen) colored bordered Damask Doylies, for mer price $1 50; we now offer Ilium at $1 00 per dozen. We are overstocked in Linen Towels and oiler some excel lent bargains to reduce our stock. Irish Poplins, silk and* wool, black 75c, colors 50c, These goods are worth $1 00 a yaril anywhere. 52-Inch Astrakans, in black, brown, chinchilla bine, green and wine, |3 50 and |4 00. We have the best Black Silk for One Dollar per yard in this city. A choice stock of Ladies' and Children's Lace Pins, Guff Buttons in good roll plate; also a good stock of initial Cuff Buttons for gentlemen—good for Christmas presents. Plush arid leather Satchels and Silk Handkerchiefs in great variety. The rush continues with us, and we are receiving goods everyday to supply the increase incur business. i. A. KIRVEN & CO. I to Hit IIusl.iiiii- jh queer thiugs nowadays, l .er when, m the e.Uierae le was as eager to look to,■ t > her husband as she eetheart. But here, if the | ing a course that is to add to vevv many are no\\‘‘ua> • llo/an interruption because ; ch an ordinary thing as Think of a bride sufficientlj to say to her bridegroom of ••Well, my dear •hich looks so nice, would be | if I did uot cover it e\ery fold in Head, C.tTAHRII. HAY FEVER. Lot a Liquid, SnulT or *owder. Free from Hay-fey'L'fi s:: uud A particle is applied into each nostril and is agreeable. I’ricc 50 cents at Druggists ; by mail, registered 50 cts. Circulars free. ELY BROS., Druggists. Owego. N, Y. aug3 eod&wtf nrm “CHICHESTER’S ENGLISH." iho Original and Only Gennino. ani tvlwa^* Beware of worth lead Imiutic n«. Iu-lispcniable to LADIES. A»L juir l»ru^l«t r?r «•< lilftice.tcr’a FiitflT*l»”aint take no other, -r tnoio»e fiiampf) to ut for partlcu'arR in letter hy return malL NAME PAPER. Chicbrater C'hcmP-Hl Co.. *5lb Madlaou Hgiuire, PhlUda., Pa. gold hr DranloU everywhere- A«k for “< htcho*- fp"/njai t*UU. Tak* «« Hy V. M. KNOWLKS A CO.. Auut’r , Tues< i ho us Will be sold the fir >n front of the aueti* Co.. Broad street. •: county, Ga.. the foil, ty bushel v in January next, 1 if* F. M. Knowles* It.inhus, Muscogee . iierty, to-wit: Tnir- loss, two hundred j bundles of fodder, mme or less. Levied on a - the j i property of W. T i J ope, to satisfv e moitguge i | li la in my hands in favor o (h o. P. S.vift.V: Son 1 i.s. W. T. Pope. Said prop.rty will be sold as • !■ r -I. a - <1 it i .r. ■!!,:. g m. dLo , ; W.’J Poj fi i J.TIi iton.about two and one liaL n-»1* - < *. t < r . ;■ . «.t . olu nl us. decV oawiw J. C.. BL HR US. Sheriff, t I WILLIAMS & POU UnccesHors io ./. A. WALKER. Cairiages, Buggies, Road Cads, Wagons, ZElY^IR.IISriESSU SJ^nDIDIljIEIE^r, Plow Gear, Lap Robes, Etc. eoiisy^PTio^ I have a positive remedy ItrtLie move ; by its use thousands of cnaee ol ti.e worBt kind ati 1 of I,.ng standing hav.; Ueeu curtii. Indeed, so atron? la tny faith In 1 tn cfLra.'ji, that I will fl- nl TWO BOTTLES FKKK, tor-th-r v/ith a VAL- UABLL TUKATISE on this disease, to auy sufferer. Give Kg> press sod V. 0. address. Dii.T. A. bLOCGU. in 1‘etrl Bt., M.K novl9 eod<tw6m M ANHOODATOISBRipr^Si •HUniug premature Decay, .Servouh Debility, Lost Manhood, etc., having tried In v.tln ever* known remedy, has discovered a simple self-cure, whhh he will send FRE*- to hi- fellow sufferers. Address, C. J. MASON, F. O. Box 1170, New York City. 9 ocfceod&w WE CARRY THE LARGEST STOCK EVER KEPT IN COLUMBUS, and will take great pleao- ure in showing any one through our stock. It costs nothing to look. Call and see those BEAUTIFUL COLUMBUS BUGGIES, For which we are Sole Agents. uu, <10 ocsitow 4 941 BROAD STREET, NEXT TO WEBSTER II ^.VO- .. . , . K7227 12.1 HiuBt >l!)f{iiHI< |»o W( r l.iiilles* % iMlmiitmil Sia(>|»oi'f<>r Gives groat support and comfort and in- iti*list’d stn-ngih io tho walls of the abdomen in cases ol ah Laiiiiial « nhirgcmeiil without auy particular dcauise. Tends also to decrease and prevent excessive accumulation of fat. The Jlogmlie TeeftiiiiK Necklace v uV. 1 ' * an< * I 1 ' 1 '' |S ’ 0, dbiu« Baby and pro* 'flic full power I’.yelof Hat lory Insole* not only w;lrm the fuel, but prevent era tups in legs so prevalent in advancing years. No Invalid should despair because elienper or inferior goods nave lliiled, until they have tried our methoda. Pampl)U‘t, letters of instruction and testimonial® mailed to any address. Advice and counsel fre* to all patients. Dr, nilLN/F TEIiltV, Columbus, Go., A^ent ooifldijca Printing, Book-Binding AND Paper Boxes OF EVERY DESCRIPTION AT LOWEST PRICES. A LARGE STOCK of all kinds of PAPER, In cluding Letter, Packet and Note Heads, Hill Heads, ntatements, always on hand. Also Kth velopes, Cards, «tec., printed at short notion^ Paper Boxes of any size or description not kopll iu stock made at short notice. TIIOH. CJILUKHT, tf 42 Randolph Street, opposite Post Office. DR. RICE, Foi 15 year* at 37 Court Place, now at •i-’,”""-'l.'SSiMf A ujiluily ort an«l»lcYaily/jualifliMl |ibvsician an4Ult bin |»r iud ms S EX^L v Vi&. I*jAS>L(E. _ _ J SpormatorrLoa and Impoloncy* m •ill) «;uy, l'im|,|.iHon Fnco. Awrainn t».Society ofFomnlo G.'.iTu.*•••» of M. iw, Loan of Hcxual Power. Ac., rendcrlr _ in m..y • lmi,n;|K.T or iiiiluippy, «»ro tlioroiigbly and perm*. irr 1 iV' , SYPHILIS l*o-ltlv«D cured and«. it"* «««“ fromtl.o nyatvin; Gonorrhea. GLKF>r, Stricture, ClruliltU, llornl.i. (.or KuyUtra^ Mil »ur«ljr by mail or exprera nn.vwhore. Caros Guaranteed in all Caig| undertaken. , Con - u. lull on h iMTHonnlly or by Jotter free find Inrltedk CliuiKca roiiHouitlile nml oomMponfasuoe Btriutly oouUuvaUaL k PRIVATE COUNSELOR Of TOO pagan, «ont Ui any mldroeH, Bi ourely miiIihI, for (vi) n utii. Should ho rend hv all. Address as *hov% omen lioiira from b A. U. too J*. U. Buudavs. T to i P. M ADVERTISERS Can learn the exact cost of any proposed line of advertising in American Papers by addressing Geo. P. Rowell A Co. t Newspaper Advertising Bureau, IO Spruce St., New York. Send IO eta l'or lOO-oa.-e Pamphlet d&wtf the: famous bmnd 09 OLD MILL PURE OLD RYE ’I tils whisky \T!H Introduced nrl-l niilv In the ve«r Ilia! 18 I'oimtnntly waking m «• fricuda. It li (h.o pro-Uic.i ul iho most unproved proceee of distih. trow fund'nlly aid. t, J .run, Iwini !u 1,1 uni. f'.rmly in war, bum um:l fui'y liu .i'o-d hy a u ,e, is jur ly celehrateil for it- puriiy, of ill,vor am! uniform quality. Fur sale, and urders solicited by tho aecnt, T. II. Mil.! , . Opera House, % Cor 10th Street and 1st Avenue, Columbun, Gg, A Are xnarantrod »,| iX mover to .ell ow AlgCIl I OKl*ECI\I.TIKMtehouMiMpcra. H« mnuey ue«*dcd to tmr kooI-. Wntr for Catalogu*? cu>t upedU vthr> The Clipper Mf*. tUuuwd;, Cincinnati* %