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A po3515; THE MERMAID OF MARGATE. From Hbod’s “ TVldms an- Oddities.** On Margate beach where the sick one roams, And the sentimental roads, Where the maiden flirts, and the widow comes, Like the ocean, to casi. her weeds:— There’s a inaid sits by the ocean brim, As lovely and fair as Sin! But wo—deep water and woe to him, That she snareth like Peter Fin ! ■»' _ , <r . ... » ... ^ . . . . ,. r * ft. Btrt, ho: as it is (he ugliest, [ Torn, we don 't mean too many.” She burst | said my aunt, patting his back, for he was years, had, to all appearance, chi so it is tile Worst of created beasts: sulky,j into tears; lamented to see so few of our nowperfectly dry.’( ‘‘ I am fearful Lovely avage, and sneaking; thankless, relations about her upon such a day; re- j has been rather troublesome.” It was now gretted that the misconduct of the absentees ; who should be foremost to assure Aunt (towards Mr. Lovely, be it understood) had Margaret, so far from being troublesome, compelled her to have done with them for- nothing/ in our opinion, could be more de- ever; doelaiedthat she had altered her will lightfiil than his good natured playfulness Her head is crowned with pretty sea wares, And her locks are golden and loose ; And seek to her feet, like ether folk’ti heirs, To stand, of course, in her shoes. And the Fishmonger, humble as love may be, Hat!) planted his seat by her side ;— ** Good even, fair maid! Is thy love: - at sea, To make thee so watch the tide V’ She turned about with her pearly brows, And clasp’d him hy the hand “Come, love, with me; I’ve a bonny house Oh the golden Goodwin Sand.” rp r Not wallyng, a* damsels do,— With toe and heel, as she onght to have step!,—- But she hopt like a kangiroo. One plunge and the victim was blind, Whilst they galiopped across the tide; At last, on the bank, he waked in his mind, And the boautv was bv his side.— One half on the sand, and half in the sea; But Ins hair all began to stir’en—- For when he looked where her feet should be, She had no more feet than Miss Biffin ! But a scaly tail of & dolphin’s growth, In the dabbling brine did soak ; At last she opened her peady mouth Like an oyster, and thus she spoke “ \ on crimpt my Hither, who was a skate; And my sister you sold—a maid ; So here remain for a fishery fate, For lost you are and betray’d.” And away she went with a sra-srull’s scream, And a splash of her saucy tail; In a moment he lost the silvery gleam That shone on her splendid mail. The sun went down with a blood-red flame, And the sky grew cloudy and black ; Arid the tumbling billows like leap-frog cam*, tEach over the other’s back. Arid still the waters foamed in like ale, In font, and on either flank ; lie knew that Goodwin and Co. must fail— There was such a run on the bank. A little more, and a little in^i? The surges come tumbling in:— He saevening^feyhin twice o’er, A noIt/ought oi every sin. dounder and plaice lay cold at his heart, cold as a marble slab, he thought lie felt in every part The pincers of scalded crab. The squealing lobsters that he had boiled, And the little potted shrimps, All the horny prawns he had ever spoiled, Gnawed into his soul like imps. And with saucy wing that flapped in his face, The wild bird about him flew, With a shrilly scream that twitted his case,— “ Why, thou art a sea-gull too 1” But iust as his body was all afloat, And the surras above him broke, He was saved from the angry deep by a boat, Of Deal, (but builded of oak.) The skipper gave him a dram as he lay, And chafed his shivering skin: And the angel returned that was flying away With the spirit of Peter Fin. MY AUNT’S POODLE. MY Aunt Margaret has a poodle. It is, unquestionably, the ugliest little beast that over bore the canine form. Nature has done nothing for it: and this neglect has been aggravated hy a variety of accidents. Early in its puppy days, one of its legs was broken by a fall through the spiral stair case from the top of the house to the bottom, so that it limps. Its eves were villainous at the best of times ; they were marked by a sly, suspicious, di contented leer, and never looked you honestly in the face They gave the dog the air of a pick-pocket; and I seldom ever met it without instinc tively putting my hand to my watch or my purse. Had I any faith in transmigration. I should say that the soul of Rill Soames had passed into the ugly body of my old aunt’s poodle. But as if the natural ex pression of its eyes had been insufficient to render the beast hateful, an accident must needs occur to remove all doubt upon the point. Some months ago, the contents of a phial of spirits of hartshorn were over turned into Mr. Lowly’s right eye—(for Lovely is the appropriate name of the ex quisite creature)—which said right eye has not only been ever since relieved of the per formance of all optical duties, but has as sumed an appearance by no means so agree able as to warrant a description. Its skin too!—The common saying that “ Beauty is but skin deep,” would in this instance be a gross exaggeration, for Mr. Lovely’s beauty is not oven as doep as that He is —to make a literal use of another common expression—in a very ugly skin. It is of no imaginable colour—a sort of yellowish greenish-brownish gray—an unearthly, vam- pyre tinge. And here again accident has stepped in to make bad worse. By the up setting of a chaldron of boiling water, the unlucky animal was wofully scalded ; and to thi| hour be bearp&evidence of his suf ferings, and his miraculous escape from Pdeath, in two large, ghastly, pink spots— on his left side, the other on the nape of leek—as free froal hair as the palm of khand. JNow, though it would 6q im- sibje to Kfc^sueh a jftpss^f ugfcfeei' and *■''t, yet Had it been W'welF disposed, 1 hearted, unassuming, gentlemanly dOff; " /repossessing manners, respectable ?nt conduct, and unimpeachable or were llpre markable for its ta- apdaccompli?bments ; one might, rip- ( of these accounts, and in con- |ts sufferings, have pitied and and dissatisfied ; as arrant a thief as a mag pie, as finished a blackguard as a butcher’s cur ; and for accomplishments—it could not sit upon its hinder legs, pick up a penny piece, O: fetch a handkerchief across the room were either of those feats to be made its benefit of clergy. It may be asked : Why be at the pains of describing so worthless a beast ?—Because the beast, worthless as it is. is the sole ar biter of the destinies of the only remaining representatives of three ancient houses— the Nolands, the Th waites, and the Briggs. Besides, the beast has a clear in come of twelve hundred pounds a year ; or, fee dispo sal of it. Yesterday was my old aunt Margaret’s birth day, when, as usual, all the members of her family were invited to dine with her. Poor Jack Noland and myself are her on ly immediate relations ; the Briggs, (con sisting of Mr. and Mrs. B. with their son and daughter, Pomponius and Julia) and Miss Priscilla Thwaits (a maiden lady of ibout fifty seven) being merely first cousins to her late husband. The assertion that all the members of my aunt Margaret’s family were invited to dine with her, requires some modification : nothing.raore must be under stood by it than all such as enjoy the hon our of Mr. Lovely’s patronage, and have been wise enough to keep terms with him for, besides the seven persons enumerated there are fifteen others, who, owing to vari ous offjnccs corpmUted by them against the peace and dignity of the rascally little poo die, are. now no more considered b^ r my \unt Margaret as her relations, than Prester John. Now, since Aunt Margaret, as Jack No land very sensibly observed to me the other day, cannot carry her money with her to the grave it must be evident that the prospects of us seven who still continue in favour, are improved by the removal of the unfortunate fifteen ; but, in proportion- as our places are more valuable, our duties, our cares, and our anxieties are more oppres sive. The brute seems to be perfectly a- ware of this ; he appears to have studied our dislikes and antipathies for the fiendish pleasure of exciting them ; and he takes a diabolical delight in tormenling ns to within an inch of the forfeiture of our legacies. TTe is perhaps more circumspect in his con duct towards mo than towards the othet ex pectants ; for I long ago gave him a lesson) which he has not yet quite forgotten. I am not of a very enduring temper : and finding Mr. Lovely, upon whose caprices my hopes depended, to be a dog whose good will was not to be won by gentleness—reflecting at the same time that the continual annoyance he inflicted upon me, might one day or oth er force me beyond the bounds of prudence, provoke me to retaliate, and thereby cost me dearly—I resolved upon a decisive but dan gerous measure, with a view to secure my self against his future aggressions. It was simply this : one morning, cluriog my Aunt Margaret’s absence, in acknowledgment of an inhospitable growl at my entrance, and a manifest intention to bite, I flogged him in such a way as perfectly astonished him. He has ever since behaved to me as well as such a dog can behave. Rut yesterday was, as poor Jack Noland forcibly described :t. “ a tremendous day for us all.*’ —Jack, by the way, is the poor c-.-n.v n of our family, whose duty it is to love and admire us all, to be of every body’s way of thinking bu t his own, to execute sill the dis agreeable commissions of the family, and pa tiently bear the reproach when any 'thin goes wrong.—“ Ah. there again ? ’tis Jack’s fault, no doubt.” But Jack possesses ma ny good qualities, and is a pleasant fellow when he is allowed to expand. But a stern look of the Brings, or a sneer of Miss Pris cilia, w : ll freeze the jest that is glowing at the very tip of his tongue : in which case Jack will watch an opportunity of taking me aside—for Jack and I are the best friends in the world—and after a moment of most ex pressive silence, and with a smile which in dicates his relish of his own wit, bes tow up on me, after the following fashion, the en tire benefit of some' piece of pleasantry which he had intended for the whale party. “ I say, Tom ; I’ll tell you what I meant to 3ay —so and so—and I don’t think it so bad ; do you Tom But to return—not one of us but, at jome moment or o ther, saw’ oor hopes of inheritance dangling by a single thread. But, in order that our sufferings and our in our favour, and hinted, that she was naa^ tress to alter it again if she should see cawm Of this editing discourse, which lasted till dinner was announced, the text was “ Love me, love my’dog,” and the obvious moral. Look to your Legacies.” It was nbt without its effect ; and Lovely who seemed to understand the intention of it, occasion ally bent his evil eye upon each of us, with a look of vill ainous exultation. Old Briggs whistled the dog towards him ; Pomponius drew a collar for the “ little rogue” from his pocket: Juliaand Mamma each patted the “ pretty fellow and then turned aside with a look of disgust, to dabble their fingers with Eau de. Cologne ; “ Come hither pret ty .poodle,” said Miss Priscilla, holding out some sugar-plums which she had “ brought on purpose for the dear dog;” poor Jack Noland volunteered to gtre the “ little fel- nothing more entertaining than his innocent frolics; and that in eyery possible respect. Lovely was, incontestibly, and beyond all means of comparison, the sweetest dog in the universe* My Aunt Margaret’s property is all fund ed ; and of her twelve hundred a year, she regularly lays by two thirds. This we hap pen to know. P. low” a washing in the Serpentine next Sun- no contiguou; damp—emitted no blaze. From this grate he wrepebe of tho ribs, or bars, and although the lastnf* ment was not above nine inches long, and one in diameter, he made so good a use of it, that in the course of a very feiv hours, he fairly undermined the wall of his. prison. ? AL The apertur^ though small, enabled him to i draw his body through ; but, af:er creeping WOMAN. In our soft hours, day; whilst I vehemently swore that Lovely grew prettier and prettier every day. Here Jack Noland drew me aside, and, assuming a ludicrous swagger of independence, said : “ I tell you vrhat, Tom ; This slavery is no longer to be borneadding, in his dry way, “ Onty we mmt hear it, you know.” At dinner we had not a moment’s peace. The reptile was either jumping upon us, and growling till he had extorted from us the choicest nforsol on our plates, or worrying us into a fever by snapping at our legs under the table j evi iently with an intention to pro voke us to the commission of some outrage upon'him, which might draw down upon our heads the displeasure of Aunt Margaret. Pre sently, in pbre spite, he ran yelping to his mistress, as if he had been hurt, although I am persuaded no one had touched him. “ How can you be so cruel to the poor dumb beast ?” said Miss Priscilla; unjust ly and ill naturedly singling out the family scape goat/ poor Jack Noland, for th£ ques tion. Reproaches were showered upon poor fack from all quarters, who bore them—to other with a pretty smart lecture from lunt Margaret, and a hint about every shil ling of her money being at her own disposal —with silence and resignation. Jack had, however, the good fortune to rr pair the er ror he had not committed by the lucky ap plication of an epigram he had lately read, which afforded him an opportunity of con veying a pretty compliment to Mr. Lovely, highly gratifying to my old aunt, and at the same time of revenging himself by a sly, but desperate hit at Miss Priscilla. Perceiving !:er fondling the detested poodle, “ Apro pos,” said Jack—the apropos was, certainly, somewhat too severe—“ Apropos: in an old, newspaper which I picked up the other day, I met with this epigram on ao old maid ca ressing a lap-dog.” There was an awful pause, and Priscilla let the dog gently down. Jack resumed. S’ ^ * ■A dangers may bo fairly appreciated, it must be stated, that Mr. and Mrs. Briggs dislike dogs generally, Lovely in particular; Pom ponius Briiggs and MisaJuUa Briggs inherit the family aversion to the canine species with the superaddition of a peculiar dislike of poodles beyond all other dogs, and of my Aunt Margaret’s Lovelvbeyoad all possible poodles. Miss Priss, me fifty-seven-year old maiden cousin, loathes the very eight of Lovely, and hates it most devoutly, simply upon the true old-maiden principle—because it happens to be a favorite with Aunt Mar garet ; poor Jack and myself are the only two of the family who do not entertain a sweeping dislike of all dogs, yet we partake of the general aversion to Lovely, and liaj bim^ with heart aud soul, for the reason th the dog is an unarm able dog. In a Word, riot mm of us but is a deadly foe to tiie japi- mal,and would hangor drown it—if we dar ed. Within an hour of dinner-tiine we wens all assembled in my Aunt Margaret’s drawing- she had received our felicita- to our wishes that she happy returns of the day, in niy. par, “ Of course, Rufa, I’m not astonish’d in the least, That thou should’st lick so dainty, clean a/beast; But that so dainty, clean a beast licks thee 1 That surprises me 1” A dead silence , succeeded, which was only interrupted by my Aunt Margaret de siring Jack to ‘ring for coffee.—This was the first time in my life I had ever known Jack to do a savage thing; and as we were re turning to the drawing-room, he endeavour ed to justify himself in my opinion, by whim pering to me, *^It was rather hard , to be sure, Torn ; hut I don’t think Cousin Priss will be in a hurry again to try and get me off with a shilling on account of that rascally poodle.” The rain was pouring in torrents, and tile “ rascally poodle,” who, to add to his na tural attractions, had been scampering about the muddy grounds came dripping into the drawing room. In this interesting condition, he ran from one to another (carefully avoid ing my Aunt Margaret,) squeezing hiiWself between our legs, and jumping into our taps. The fortitude with which the attack was bohie by us all. and the heroic cofftroul we maintained over our^elings, were astonish ing. It is >proM^€ that Aunt Margaret’s reprimand of Noland, and her hint a- bout eveiry shilling of her money being at her offn disposal, may have contributed to strengthen, qur nerves. My first impulse certainly was to toss the mongrel out of the window; but, considering that a good four hundred, a year (for which, I know, I am down in the will) might be tossed out along with him, I cOjUectod myself by affecting a laugh at the <v unceremonious little gentle man,” as Lcalied him, and, with my cam bric pocket handkerchief, smeared the mud over my wjbite silf. stockings till they were dry. Noland and Pomponius Briggs fol lowed my example ; Pomponius, as he was making bad worse by scrubbing his white kerseymeres, muttered, “Two-pound-ten, by jingo 1” Mr. Briggs, senior, swore he was 'the most fortunate man breathing, for it would not sto w witch upon black. Mrs. Briggs, wjiose French Pink sarsnet dress was ruined forever, merely simpered opt, ‘‘Well, it cannot he helped.” Miss Julia, Briggs, like her papa, congratulated herself upon her good fortune; for, being dressed in white muslin, which would wash, “itdid’nt much signify.” And M$ss Priscilla, whose saffron-cofourefl, white satin dress, wldch ne- ver saw. the bgl^t exeept on state occasions, st^b as theprwent, and" which was how in condition to set at defiance the utmost ma gic of the scourer, asseverated, as she walk ed towards |ho vrindow toqpnceal her tears, that fit did not signify the nstia the world.’ When Mr. Lovely had throughly cleaned hunselffbylbis visits to u Is a lightsome sunbeam on you sky of joy! In deep distress and a;;ony of mind The star and herald of our earthly hope.” RESPECT FOR FEMALES. The following is one of the most eloquent sketches which we recollect to have seen. It is rich in figure, chaste and delicate in style, and highly refined in sentiment. Phil. Album. “ I dislike the man who deliberately trifles with the affections of woman. I would ra ther shake hands with a liighwayman, than with « gentleman who has sacrificed to his own vanity the life long happiness of an in experienced girl. I fear this sort of conduct has never been sufficiently reprobated, and females too often oetray the rights of their sex, by accepting with pride the homage of a man, who has become notorious for the conquest and destruction of their sisters, as if his mercy and love could be depended upon, who has once been cruel to an affec tionate woman! The world laughs, and stores of living proverbs and stupid jests on the briefness of woman’s love, are adminis tered ; but you will find, if your heart be not hardened by selfishness, that this will be in vain. Perhaps you had no intention of be ing serious, you only flirted, tried to be agreeable, and to please for th« moment; you had no conception that your behaviour could be m sconstruod. and you shudder at the bare thought of earning the icy damna tion of a seducer. It majMv«so, for there is a descent to the hell of seduction, though that descent is perniciously easy, and “Nemo repente, fait tuipipsimue, ’ but what if while you w ere meaning nothing, your trifling created anguish, your sport be came death tt> the object of it? When, by exclusive attentions, you have exc ited a re gard. hy the developemeut of talent, or by the display and devotion of personal graces you have fascinated the mind and the heart when, by the melting and the sinking eye, the faltering voice, the fervid tone, the re tained hand, you have awaikened the passion you cannot lay—when you have done this in the cold blood of vanity, and it suits your convenience, or sated coxcombery, to finish the scene by au altered mein, a di tart cour tesy, or an expression of surprise at the unex pected effects of your civility, will you be atle to quit your conscience with a jest * Will you sleep on an adage of fools, or a he of out he had the temerityrtefi creen iu again, , v and from whatever motive, secreted the disparted portion of the graie in a corner of f the yawning chasm above. Afterwards he found his way to Greenock, was allowed to • work his passage in a vessel bound to North America, and remained in that country sev eral years. Tiring, however, of the new world, lie revisited Scotland ; and in hope, no doubt, that both his crime and his escape had been forgotten, ventured ones more among the wdds of A rgyleshire. The Fiscal of the district, unaware, perhaps, of the man’s return, or not deeming the matter of much importance, offered him no moies- ^ tation at first; but he was soon caught in 'a 7T; new offence ; and from necessity or over*, sight re-lodged in the identical cell he ha<$ broken. AU the world has heard of JVfb»» sirnr Tons*-m's witty tormentor; and as th# first thing he did on his return from India, was to ring the astounded Frenchman’s bell* so our hero had no sooner been left to him* self, than he began to explore the area of the chimney in quest of an old and valued acquaintance, which had served him at pinch ' > and might do so, again, and he found the in*, strument where he left it! as fit for mining work as ever, and with fewer changes on its 1 substance oq surface than time and climatfT had made on his own weather beaten frame. A To work, therefore, he set a second time, and was again so successful, that he had hi* foot on the heath, and saw the £Un rise off his native mountains at an early hour on the j following morning. As the circumstance Jj excited a good deal of interest, diligent search was made for the Baron Trenck the Isle of Bute ; but it was all to no ffur- pose. He escaped to a distant part bf the country, betook himself to more lawful cour ses, and has been he^rd to boast, when hea ted with liquor, of a brace of exploits, the reality of which can be attested by many in? dividuals still resident in the town of Roth* say.—Dumfries Courier. ICO JJ *nt if’ „«LJ* your own 1 What if the poor being, whose hope von have changed into despair, whose garden you have blasted with mildew and dust, w’hose heaven vou have darkened for evermore, shall suffer in silence, striving to bear her sohow, playing for cheerfulness, pardoning without forgetting you, till the worm has eaten through to life, and :he body is emaciated which you have led to the dance, the voice is broken on which you have hung, the lace wan which vou have flattered, and the eyes frightfully bright with a funeral lustre, On the 8th Dec. the son of a farmer cal led Valentin was tried as Dijon, in France, for the murder of a young fifinaAj, «{£iojy he had seduced ofthenanurbf Anne His-far^lv if bixferip screen him,/ report thL the crime hd4 been co$ by a superaauated woman in a idiocy ; knovf^ however to be harmless. This poor creature, having heard the report, and on the next Sunday, at tht termination of the church service, observing Valentin in the churchyard near the spot where the unfortunate girl was buried sud denly threw frefsfclf upon the grave and cried out—“ Anne Eyrard, come forth from thy tomb, and scnj which killed you—Valentin or The strong emotion which the mur derer exhibited. when he he^rd this extra ordinary invocation was one of the circum stances which induced the Jury to convict him. A Curious Book.—From the opinions contained in this book, 1 think I have not erred in calling it curious. It is entitled, Le.8 Controvorses des Sexes masculine Afeminin.—It L written in metrical version by Gratiin du Pont: He asserts that every a luncral man at the day of resurrection, wll be an which used to laugh radiancy, and . entire body without the least deform ty. hope, and love when they gazed upon you? J He adds, that if every part of the body What if a prouder temper, a more ardent j w r as separated into fifteen hundred different imagination, and a stronger constitution,; parts, they would all unite, and become com- should lead to spite, and impatience, and plete. recklessness of good and ill, if a hasty and loveless marriage should be the rack of her soul, or the provocation of her sin ! Is there man^ragera could drug you to sleep while this was on your memory, or does there really live a man who could triumph in such bitter wo ? But “verium et mutable semper Fcemina.” O believe it not! For the sake of our household Gods, call it and cause, it to be a lie! Be ye sure that coquettes are the refuse of their sex, and were only ordained to cor respond with the coxcombs of ours. Women have their weaknesses, and plenty of them, but they are seldom vicious like ours; and as to their levity of heart, who shall compare the worldly, skin deep fondness of a man with the one rich idolatry of a. virtuous giri ? A thousand thoughts distract, a thousand passions are a substitute for the devotions of a man ; hut to love is the purpose ; to be loved, the consummation ; to be'faitbful the religion of a woman. It is her all in all, and when she gives her heart away, she gives a jewel, which, if it does not make the wearer richer than Croesus, will leave the giver poor indeed. B. That Adam wilt regain the part from which F.ve was form’d, and that Eve must again become Adam’s side, and lose the feminine character; and thus will it be. con tinues our author, with all other penpfl&; every man will be like Adam, and every roman like Eve; and concludes with the poqjtive assurance that woman will cease to be. , The edition of this curious book, to which I am indebted for these pairficulaf^was print ed at Lyons, in 16mo. in the year Ifi37. Superstition.—The Memorial de la Scarpe, a French publication, contains an advertise ment in which a * pious person,* who has had in view a pilgrimage to the Holy Land, and who is prevented from its accomplishment by irlheahh offers the mim of25,000ffcsru5>i*b. almost §5000, to the person who will under take the tour with intentions purely rcligiotti* The journey must be undertaken awdfaiv compiished on foot, and barefoot, un&* -(line pilgrim must enter no hotel, tavern or hos& lery, but must subsist; entirely on chtarity.. • v Curious Fact.—“ Keep a thing seven years and you will find a use for it.” So says the proverb, and the following incident, which was related to us the oth«r night by a Greenock gentleman, affords rib bad illus tration of the truth of the remark. sNotma- , ny years ago, a man of the name of Doug- Ifts distress, and anxious tdf procrainf rtb l _ k J riAtfXT cm rl to /vf FUa coon nveLs las, was tried at IttV$rar£ffor some petty de predation, and sentUficod to'twelve rffonth’s imprisonment in Rbthsay jail. But the. approach his hits ventured to- I ana fearful,” and his new quarters by no means according with hj* ideas of comfort, tho thought soon struck nim that it was possible to chanc e them.—His cellhappened to be on what is called the ground-floor; and. in addition to a chair,(able, and bedstead displayed an old fashioned rusty grate, which, for years cn Puns.—The English papers lately are full of puns, the larger portion Ofthemtoo,oftho> most despicable kind even of that wretched* substitute for v it. The following, howev er may pass Mr. Kennly, the popular dramatist, the other day in drinking a glass of wine inadvertently swallowed some small- substance which wariiloating orrthe^rfhee Whteh nearly ehoaked hito—a friend companion the sad state of the case, exclaini- ^ ed, “ tt is cork—gone the wrongs way.” ’ “ f don’t know whether it is the wrong/svfcy Vo culprit had been accustomed to a roving life HT’ork,” said a wag who was prsseolpAhift it scems to be a very likely way to Xffi JKm- ■y” - ' BH JV«ff Idea.-—fn' the window- boarding house nb| far from R following rather ambiguous notice-: ' men takes in and db*e fox.” A'Wv