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BY BREWSTER & SHARP.
The Cherokee Georgian.
18 PUBLISHED EVERY WEDNESDAY BY
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DIRECTORY.
STATE GOVERNMENT.
James M. Smith, Governor.
N. C. Barnet, Secretary of State.
.1. W. Goldsmith, Comptroller General.
John Jones, Treasurer.
Joel Branham, Librarian.
John T. Brown, Principal Keeper of the
Penitentiary.
Gustavus J. Orr, State School Commis
sioner.
J. N. Janes, Commissioner of Agricul
ture.
Thomas D. Little, State Geologist.
JUDICIAL.
BLUE RIDGE CIRCUIT.
• Noel B. Knight, Judge.
C. D. Phillips, Solicitor General.
lime of Holding Court.
Cherokee—Fourth Monday in Febru
ary, and first Monday in August.
Cobb—Second Monday in March and
November.
Dawson—Third Monday in April and
second Monday in September.
Fannin—Third Monday in May and Oc
tober.
Forsyth—First* Monday m April and
f-urtli Monday in August.
Gii.^ier.-—Second Monday in May and
October.
Lumpkin—Second Monday in April and
first Monday in September.
Milton —Fourth Monday in March and
third Mon lav in August.
Pickens—Fourth Mon lay in April and
BeptemlarJ
Towns—Monday after fourth Mon lay in
Mhv and <"><■,(.!>it.
Union —Fourth Monday in May and Oc
iftber,
COUNTY OFFICERS.
C. M. McClure, Ordinary. Regular court
first Mondav in each month.
J. W. Hudson, Ch rk Superior Court.
• M. P. Morris, SherilF.
K. G. Gramling, Deputy Sheriff.
J «hn G. Evans, Treasurer.
Win. N. Wilson, Tax Receiver.
Joseph G. Dupree, Tax Collector.
Win W. Hawkins, Surveyor.
Win. Ramplcy, Coroner.
JUSTICE COURT—-CANTON DIS.
Joseph E. Hutson, J. P.
R. F. Daniel, N. P.
H. G. Daniel, L. C
TOWN GOVERNMENT.
W A. Teiiseley, Mayor.
**9 W. Hudson, Recorder.
James 11. Kilby, Jabez Galt. J. M. Har
din, J. M. McAfee, Theodore Turk, Alder
men.
COUNTY BOARD OF EDUCATION.
James O. Dowda, President.
James W. Hudson, County School Com
missioner.
Prof. James U. Vincent, Examiner.
Joseph M. McAfee, Allen Keith, Joseph
J. Maddox, John R. Moore.
Meetings quarterly, in the court-house.
CHEROKEE TEACHERS’ ASSOCIA
TION.
James O. Dowda, President.
M. B. Tu.gle, Vice-President.
C. M. McClure, Secretary.
J. W. Attaway, Treasurer.
John D Attaway, Censor Morum.
Prof. James U. Vincent, Association Cor
respondent.
Regular meetings every second Saturday
in each month, at 10 a. m.
RELIGIOUS.
Baptist Church, Canton Ga., time of
service fourth Sunday in each month.
Rev. M. B. Tuggle, Pastor.
M. E. Church, time of service, preachers
in charge.
Rev. W. G. Hanson, first Sunday.
Rev. B. }'. Ledbetter, second.
Rev. J. M. Hardin, third.
MASONIC.
Canton Lodge, No. 77, meets first and
third Monday nights in each month.
James A. Stephens, W. M,
Joseph M. McAtee, Secretary.
Sixes Lodge, No. 282, meets first and
third Saturdays, 2 p. m.
C. M. Ma'lurv, W. M.
O. W. Pulman, Secretary.
GOOD TEMPLARS.
Canton Lodge, No. 119, meets every
Saturday, 8 p. m.
B E I . .It-etter, W. C. T.
James W. Hudson, Secretary.
GRANGE.
Canton Grange No. 225, Canton Ga.
Jaber G di, Master.
J -M’ph M. McAfee. Secretary.
®he Ciwrofecc OJiwiihin.
BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY.
In speaking of a person’s faults,
Pray don’t forget your own ;
Remember, those with homes of glass
Should seldom throw a. stone ;
If we have nothing else to do
But talk of those who sin,
’Tis better we commence at home,
And from that point begin.
We have no right to judge a man
Until he’s fairly tried ;
Should we not like bis company,
We know the world is wide; [not ?
Some may have faults —and who have
The old as well ns young;
Perhaps wc may, for aught we know,
Have fifty to their one.
I’ll tell you of a better plan,
And one that works full well;
I try my own defects to cure,
Before of others’ tell;
And though I sometimes hope to be
No worse than some I know.
My own shortcomings bid me let
The faults of others go.
Then let us all when we commence
To slander friend and foe,
Think of the harm one word may do
To those we little know ;
Remember, curses, sometimes, like
Our chickens, “roost at home;”
Don’t speak of others’ faults until
We have none of our own.
—
A Leap for a Lover.
Riding over the Texan prairie on her
spirited black steed, with cheeks glowing,
and eyes Hashing with a sense of limitless
liberty, Alice Allyn seemed a second Di
Vernon —an Amazonian queen—everything
brave and beautiful.
A summer day’s sun was sinking beyond
the horizon line of the wide expanse of prai
rie. A light breeze came murmuring over
the undulating grass.
‘This is perfectly delightful'.’ exclaimed
Alice, removing her hat. ‘Tae wind fairly
lifts the hair from my brow.’
‘lf you were a chignon, you would be
more desirous to avoid that effect,’ laughed
her brother. ‘lmagine Arab and me scamp
ering over the prairie in chase of that arti
cle.’
Alice smiled.
‘lf I were a cynic, I would say that a
chignon is it fit emblem oi civilization—a
sham ; but as I am not a cynic, I wijl.enjoy,
my present freedom in thankfulness.’
‘I say, Alice, hadn’t we better return ?
They generally want me at the Ranch
about this time.’
I'll excuse your further attendance, Toni,
but T am determined to go as far as the
river. I’ve discovered a new species of
running vine among the trees there.’
Tom reined in his horse and hesitated.
‘Why, Tom,’ said Alice, ‘you are not
afrhid that anyl ody will run away with me,
I hope,’ and she shook her riding-whip
valiantly ; ‘and it’s impossible for me to run
away with anybody, for there are uot a
dozen souls in as many leagues.’
She re-arranged the folds of her dark
green habit, and with a graceful mock obei
sance to Tom, darted away. Tom, unlike
most brothers, admired his sisters more than
any one else on earth. These two were all
to each other—alone in the world—and
their mutual love was infinitely greater on
this account. Tom stood still for some
time, looking after the receding figure, tin
til the red horizon reminded him of his du
ties at the Ranch.
Reaching a clump of trees on the bank of.
the narrow stream, Alice halted, and gazed
around her. Amid all the gorgeous color
ing of the scene there mingled that undefin
nble spirit of sadness which never fails to
accompany the death of a day. Perhaps
this was in unison with her thoughts, for
a grave expression came into her eyes, and
the half-smile ceased to play around her
lips.
Her thoughts had gone back two years
—back through months of dreary waiting
and self-reproach. The figure of the man
she had loved seemed to come between her
and the sunset, with the reproachful look
he had worn at their parting.
Guy Phillips and she had met, and be
come engaged, lie had loved her passion
ately. and she hail returned his love with
equal fervor—they had different ways of
showing it. Guy would have been content
to gaze at her from morning to night, and
a smile or a word would have been suffi
cient for hi n. Alice was not satisfied with
this. She wanted her lover to be more
•lover like’—less ‘indifferent,’ as she phrased
it. They were at a fashionable summer re
sort, and Alice flirted fast and furiously.
Guv bore this with admirable patience.
‘A male imitation of Chaucer’s Griselda,’
she murmured, impatiently. Will nothing
| arouse him ?’
There was a certain self-styled Spanish
marquis at the hotel. He was pretty well
know n to I e an unscrupulous gambler. At
one of the balls, Alice sheeted him as part
ner in two successive waltzes.
‘Something must come of this,’ she
thought as she whirled around to die strains
of the ‘Blue Danube.’
Something did come of it. Guy Phillips’
spirit was aroused. After the dance, he
grasped her wrist, and led her out upon the
balcony- He sternly commanded her never
to dance a round dance with any other than
himself. Alice bad not bargained for this.
Sh w a ted m re "■ umth, • vtn in
CANTOX, CHEROKEE GOUXTY, GA., WEDXEBDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 1875.
Virtue and Intelligence —The Safeguards of Liberty.
her lover; but she would brooknoinfriirge
ment on her liberty of action. She replied
haughtily, there was-Mormy scene, and they
parted.
When her brother Tom proposed to go to
Texas, and to invest some money in a
scheme for raising cattle, Alice volunteer
ed to accompany him ; and she was glad of
the chance, for accustomed scenes and peo
ple had become painful to her.
Sitting in her saddle here, with the Texan
prairie land around her, she reviewed the
past with bitter .sorrow. She was awakened
from her reverie by the sounds of approach
ing horses’ hoofs.
On the opposite side of the river, which
the drought had narrowed to a small, tur
bulent stream, Alice saw a band of horse
men. They were approaching. She drew
back amid the trees, and watched them.
As they came nearer, she saw they were
Comanche Indians.. . They reached the op
posite bank, and stopped tb parley. Their
attention seemed fixed on some object in
the distance. Alice looked in the direction
indicated by their jestures, and saw the
dusky for.ns composing a herd of buffaloes
outlined against the glowing sky.
The Comanches evidently resolved to
pursue the flying herd. To Alice’s great
relief, they dashed away, leading only three
of their pumfier On jhe river*t>anfc.
Looking closely at these three —which
she could easily do, as the river at this point
was extremely Noticed that
one of themNv.iswhite nlffr He was
very pale, and his hunting shirt was blood
stained. His bands were bound together
with thongs, and he hung upon his horse’s
neck as if too weak to sit upright. Without
doubt he was a captive, and the two Indi
ans had been left to guard him The
Comanch-s had their backs turned towards
her, and’wci’e with thffir eyes the
course -of their companions. Sljc could,
however, plainly see.tlie features of the cap
tive. Her face grew white as she looked,
and she nearly reeled from her saddle. The
captive was Guy Phillips.
With a great, almost superhuman effort
she collected her faculties in order to an
swer the question : What is to be done?
Iler first tlipught w r as to blow the whistle
in the end of her riding-whip, the sound of
which, if heard, would bring her brother
and his d pendents to her rescue. But she
felt sure that it would not be heard, for the
Ranch was too far away, and her signal of
distress would draw the attention of the
Comanches to her without producing any
good effect,
The banks of the river were ragged, high,
and rocky; the stream itself—a brawling,
tumultuous thread of water—was barely
visible from their height.
A bo’d idea entered Alice’s mind. It was
a womanly idea ; to a man it would have
seemed impracticable. She put her hand
into the holster ol her saddle to feel that her
toy-like pistols were safe. How thankful
she was that she had complied with Tom’s
request and carried those weapons !
Taking a revolver in one hand and her
whip in the other, she prepared to leap the
river. The mere thought of this attempt
would have chilled the heart of the most
infatuated English fox hunter, for although
the stream was narrow for a river, yet it
was a terrible leap.
Saying a prayer in hey heart, she made
ready to descend the iibcobsclous
enemy, holding the reins between her teeth.
‘On, Dion, on !’ The whip fell, stingingly
on the noble animal’s flanks. The horse
reared. Then be seemed almost to stretch
out into a straight black line. His fore feet
struck the edge of the other bank. Down
came the whip. He gathered himself up.
Horse and rider had leaped the river.
The astonished Comanches turned and
viewed the apparition in amazement. Alice
leveled her pistol at the nearest Indian aud
fired. He wavered in his seat, and then
tell with a crashing thud to the ground.
Alice dropped her whip ana seized the bri
die of Guy Phillips*horse. She heard Guy
murmur her name.
‘Use ymu'spurs, ifyou can!’she said.
‘Now!’ •
The frightened animals were headed to
wards the river. She used the butt of her
pistol to urge them on. It seemed as if
her brave spirit awed the horses into obedi
ence. With a bound, which seemed as if it
would crack their sinews, they cleared the
gulf.
The Comanche attempted to follow, but
bis horse refused the leap. Infuriated, the
Indian goaded the animal to it. Tjie horse
barely touched the- bank with his front
bopi\ struggling to gain it for an instant
and the horse and rider sank down into the
channel beneath. •
Stopping but a moment to cut the thongs
which bound Guy Phillips' arms, Alice rode
on towards the Ranch. Ere they reached
it, Guy Lad faulted from k« of bkxid.
Tom’s surprise was unbounded when Alice
delivered Ler rescued lover into his hands.
He pronounced Guy’s wound, althopgh se
vere, to be not dangerous.
AV hen Guy’ffcnses returned, and he saw
Alice, who bad refused to leave him, there
was a scene, the dialogue of which, though
somewhat incoherent, was mutually satis
factory to the actors.
It t!m< Gwy. Lnving strayed
from bis party, had been pounced upon by
these strolling Comanches, and, after a
brate straggle on his part, taken prisoner,
to serve as a hostage for several of their
number, who had been captured by the
United States’ soldiers.
1 say, Alice,’ laughed Tom, ‘you have
fairly asserted woman's right—to use a pis
tol.’.
‘I Will continue to assert woman’s right
to help man,* returned Alice, glancing
fondly at Guy. <
And Guy knew that a similar right would
be life in the future as far as Alice was con
cerned.
Ltfe.—lt was a sad cynic who said that
youth passes its time in wishing that it
equid, and age regretting that it didn’t.
But it is true that all through the first half
of qur lives we are thinking what we will
do when once we get fairly started, and we
go on pleasing ourselves with these dreams
until, all ofa sudden, we wake upto the
fact that we have begun to go down the
hill, and that now the time to hope and
plan is past, and the time to remember and
regret has come. We often hear of the iron
ies of life. The saddest irony is its brevity
—our days are but a span, our life is but “a
sleep and a forgetting.” If it were possible
to realize in the beginning that threescore
years and ten are not a hundred, and to say
to ourselves calmly, “Such and such things
are, in so brief space unattainable—let us
content ourselves with striving for what we
can reasonably hope to win,” we might
live our short span more rationally; then
would the rich man begin in season to dis
pense and enjoy his riches, remembering
that out of his life he can carry nothing
with him—then would the philanthropist
limit his schemes to his possibilities ; then,
above all, would those who love each other
bew are that they gave no space to estrange
ment ol faultfinding, since our life of so few
d<»ys is all too brief for bitterness.
What Do You Pay for Books?—We
ask you the question, young men. We take
it for granted that you are engaged in some
kind of business —that your working exist
ence is expended in procuring clothes, food,
property, honor—but do you give any time
to books ? Arc you spending your life and
energy in things that appertain expressly to
the body and its wanils and fashions, and
giving not a thought nor contributing a
dime to intellectual pursuits ? Do you sup
pose that the highest good is to provide
food, clothing, horses, carriages, etc., and
that these animal gratifications should oc
cupy most of your time, and consume most
of your vital resources? Let the writer
advise you to occasionally buy good Ixioks,
and read them. Do this, and you will find
that you will rise in public estimation, as
well as succeed in all you undertake more
and more, the better you are informed
about matters and things in general, and
your specific business in particular, and the
more perfect your adaptation of ways and
means to ends.
Old Winston was a negro preacher in
Virginia, and his ideas of theology and hu
man nature were often very original. A
gentleman thus accosted the old gentleman
one Sunday : “Winston, I understand you
believe every woman has seven devils.
How can you prove it?” ‘ Well, sah, did
you nelicr read in de Bible how seben deb
bles were cast out’er Mary Magalin?”
"Oh, ye«, I’ve read that.” “Did you eber
hear ob ’em bein’ cast out’er any other wo
man, sah?” “No, I neber did.” “Well,
den, all de udders t-ot ’em yet ”
A seal Christian seldom sees a defect in
his neighbor. A pure lake reflects the
beautiful sky, lh« clouds and the overhang
ing trees, but when it is ruffled it reflects
nothing that is pure. A tad man seldom
sees a good trait in the character of his
neighbor. An imperfect glass reflects noth
ing correctly, but shows its own defects.*
A perfect mirror reflects nothing but bright
and pure images.
The Magnetic Equator.—During M.
Jansen’s recent visit to Siam, he had an op
portunity to make some interestihg mag
netic observations in the peninsula of Ma
lacca. He found that the magnetic equator
passes through Ligor and Singora, the incli
nation being there reduced to zero; ar.d he
was also able to find a line of no variation,
in a different "position from that previously
laid down.
The great drawback in growing cab
bages successfully and to profit is in failing
to have a large proportion of head. To
make them head uniform and well, hoe
often, especially in dry weather, and as soon
as surface dries after rains. Don’t allow a
crust to form around them. A thimbleful
of salt scattered over them occasionally will
be found beneficial.
Do your duty, however dangerous.
Death cornea once to all, and the world
does not need your bodily presence so much
as it does your mortal heroism.
Looking to others for our standard of
happiness is the sure way to be miserable.
Our business is with our own heart and our
own motives.
The History of Postage Stomps.
The introduction of the postal system, as
it at present exists in all countries on the
globe, has been credited to England, when,
in 1840, covers and envelopes were devised
to carry letters all over the kingdom at one
penny the single rate. This plan was adopt
ed through the exertions of Sir Rowland
Hill, who has been aptly termed the “father
of postage stamps.” It now appears, how
ever, that there is another aspirant for the
introduction of the stamp system. In Italy,
aa far back as 1818, letter sheets were pre
pared, duly stamped in the left lower cor
ner, while letters were delivered by specially
appointed carriers, on the payment of the
money which the stamp represented. The
early stamp represented a courier on horse
back, and was of three values. It was dis
continued in 1836. Whether I taly or Great
Britain first introduced postage stamps,
other countries afterward began to avail
themselves of this method for the pre-pay
ment of letters, although they did not move
very promptly in the matter.
Great Britain enjoyed the monopoly of
stamps for three years, and, though the first
Stamp were issued in 1840, she has made
feWer changes in her stamps than any other
country, and suffered no change at all in the
main design, the portrait of Queen Victoria.
In other countries, notably in our own, the
Sandwich Islands, and the Argentine Re
public, the honor of portraiture on the
stamps is usually distributed among various
high public officers; but in Great Britain
the Queen alone figures on her stamps, and
not even the changes that thirty-five yearn
have made in her face are shown on the na
tional and colonial postage stamps.
The next country to follow the example
of England was Brazil. It?184i a series of
three stamps was issued, consisting simply
of large numerals denoting the value, and
all printed in black. Then came the can
tons in Switzerland, and Finland, with en
velopes which to-day are very rare, and
soon after them, Bavaria, Belgium, France,
Hahover, New South Wales, Tuscany,
Austria, British Guianea, Prussia, Saxony,
Schleswig, Holstein, Spain, Denmark, Italy,
Oldenburg, Trinidad, Wurtemburg, and the
United States. Other countries followed
in the train, until, at the present moment,
there is scarcely any portion of the globe,
inhabited by civilized people, which has not
postage stamps. —[St. Nicholas for Nov.
Boy's, Learn to Write.—We know of
no exercise so calculated to improve the
mind of a young man, as that of c imposi
tion, by which we mean the comm tting of
his thoughts to paper. Were this more
generally done, what invaluable service
would be rendered the whole country.
There is no class of young men who have
so much time, or so many subjects upon
which to exercise themselves with the pen,
as farmers. Most of them spend the long
winter evenings at home, and not unfro
qnently in absolute idleness, or what is
equally bad, or valueless conversation. A
quire of paper, a pen or two, and a bottle of
ink, all of which can be purchased for
twenty-five cents, is all that is needed, and
with such a stock of writiug material, the
young man could profitably pass away
many an otherwise dull evening. He can
commence by noting down the transactions
of the day, after his own style, which will
possibly lie crude, and to him discouraging,
but by perseverance aud energy, the difficul
ty will be overcome, and as each succeeding
effort will almost necessarily be art improve
ment upon the last, he will finally acquire
such gratifying facility of expression as will
render writing one of the most tleligli ful
recreations. Young man, try it, and begin
at once.
A gigantic hotel is about to be built in
London, with American capital, by an
American architect, with American sped,
aftea an American plan, and to be managed
on the American system. A site not far
from the House of Commons, and close to
St. James’ park, has been bought, and it is
said a year hence the first visitors may take
up their abode in the establishment This
hotel will make up 1,000 beds; the dining
room will accommodate 700 persons at a
time, and a staff of 400 servants w ill be re
quired to carry on the duties of tlac house.
Tire Center of our Population.—lt
lias traveled westward, keeping curiously
near the thirty-ninth parallel cf latitude,
never getting more than twenty miles north
nor two miles south of it. In the eighty
years it has traveled only four hundred
miles, and Is still found nearly fifty miles
eastward of Cincinnati.
Out in Nevada, if we are to believe the
Eewepiqiere, the atmosphere is ?o light that
a cord of wood left out over night will
shrink to three-quarters of a ccrd before
morning.
, As sins proceed they ever multiply, and,
like the figures in arithmetic, the last stands
for more than all that went before it.
How it seems io bra' e up a ms.n, and to
give him dignity—l live for God ’
-
It is no little mercy to see a hell deserved
and heaven given.
VOLUME 1.-NUMBER 16.
ALL FOR FUX.
Small talk —About babies.
It is always put up, or shut up, with an
umbrella
Where are two heads belter than one T
In a barrel.
Grammatically speaking, a kiss is a con
junction.
Love’s young dream often turns to ft
nightmare.
When is a man not a man ? When he
turns into a lane.
When is a wife like a great-coat ? When
her husband is wrapped up in her.
The water’s edge is supposed to be sharp
ened by tlie stones along the shore.
Why do we never hear of the saucer
which belongs to the cup of sorrow ?
“Oh, my dear wife.” said John Henry, m
he paid the milliner’s bid.
Why are types like criminals? Because’
it is not proper to lock them up without
proof.
Punctuation was first used in literature in
1420. Beforethattimewordsandsentencefiw
ereputtogetherlikethis.
Why is the letter Q the handiest in the
alphabet ? Because when it is in use you
always find it before U.
The misery felt by the child who couldn’t
go to the picnic is nothing to that of the
boy who has been to it
A miss is as good as a mile —as good as
two or three miles, in fact, if she’s pretty,
and it’s a moonlight night.
“The first step toward wealth,” says an
exchange, “is the choice of a good wife.”
And first step toward securing a good wife,
is the possession of wealth.
“Don’t you wish we could come back ta
hard money, Tom ?” “No, John, not to
any that’ll be harder to get I”
A certain young lady is so modest that
she will not permit the Christian Observer
to remain in her room over night.
Why is a drunkard like a bad politician?
Because he is always poking his nose into
measures that spoil the constitution.
You will never find a man out until he
owes you, and you go to collect that little
bill. Then you can always find him out.
An Aberdeen girl supposes that the rea
son she has never kindled a flame li? any
man’s heart is because she is not a good
match.
A woman is very like a kettle, if yon
come to think of it. She sings away so
pleasantly; then she stops ; and, when you
least expect it, she boils over 1
When a married man lets himself noise
lessly in at the front door at one o’clock in
the morning, and steps on the cat in the
hall, then it is that earth becomes a hollow
mockery and life a seething void.
A bachelor recently made a will, leaving
his entire property to the girls who had re
fused him. “For to them,” he added, feel
ingly, “I owe all my earthly happiness.”
The afflicted editors of Fort Wayne, In
diana, have induced a judge to declare in
sane and commit to the lunatic asylum a
man with an ungovernable penchant for
writing poetry.
An experienced farmer opines that the
man who can plow stumpy ground with a
pair of lively mules without swearing is
prepared to go through purgatory with am
overcoat on.
“My articles do not receive a very warm
reception of late.” “Our fair correspond
ent is mistaken,” replied the editor ; “they
meet the warmest reception possible. We
burn them all.”
All bachelors are not entirely lost to the
refinement of sentiment, for the following
toast was lately given by one of them at a
public dinner: “The ladies—Sweetbriers
in the garden of life.”
Benson of Detroit removed the body of
his mother-in-law from the old cemetery,
the other dnv, and he savs he could find
nothing but her jaw, which was in a perfect
state of preservation.
The woman who shuffles around in cloth
slippers, broken down at the heel, and
wipes her nose on her apron, is the one who
leaves gristle n her mince pies and runs a
hair-pin in her bread to see if it’s done.
She used to keep bits of
and crockerv piled up in a convenient cor
ner of the closet, and when asked her rea
son for preserving such domestic lumber,
she shot a lurid glance at her husband, and
merely remarked : “He knows what them’s
for.”
“Jessie, w hat was Joe’s arm doing around
your waist when ypn were at the front gate
last night.” asked a precocious boy of hia
sister. “His arm wasn’t around my waist;
I won a belt from him, and he was taking
my measure,” replied the indignant
lady.
A negro being asked what he was in jail
for, said it was for borrowing money. “But
they don’t put people in jail for borrowing
money,” said the questioner. “Yes. da do,”
said the darkey, “but I had to knock de
man down free fo’ times ’lore he’d lend it
to me.”
The stupidest boy that ever successfully*
resisted the attempt to propel the etymolo
gy of the word “baker” into his intellectual
system will display more ingenuity and
knowledge of strategy in robbing an apple
orchard than the colonel of a militia regi
ment.
“Don’t prevaricate, sir!” thundered a
British Columbian judge to a witness from
the mines; “don’t prevaricate, sir !” “Can t
help it, Judge,” answered the miner; “ever
since I got a kick in the mouth from a mule,
that knocked my teeth out, I prevaricate a
good cleat”
Said a distinguished politician to liis son:
“Lock at me! I began as an aiderman,
and here I am at the top of the tree; and
what ia my reward ? Why, when I die,
my son will be the greatest rascal in th®
city.” “Yes, dad,” replied the young hope
ful, “when you die—-but not till then.”
A Kansas gentleman has thoughtfully
put his front gate in the parlor, so that his
daughter and her young man can swing oa
it without taking cold during the airy
weather. This is a humane suggestion to
all lathers. A front gate io the parlor may
save a good many dollars that would oth
erwise he pni l out for cough syrup.