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gfr fmnter ftpablkan. FISH BAIT. A mau without enemies is like bread without yeast—he never rises.— Boston Star. If men should kill their worst enemies suicide would be more frequent.—Bos ton Star. The mau who forsakes the lecture field for the corn field i6 a public bene factor.—Boston Star. Toy pistols, if constructed without locks, would not, perhaps, be so produc tive of lockjaw.— Oil City Blizzard. We know an old maid who says it’s bad enough for men to get married, without fools of women imitatingthem. —Boston Star. Anew novel in press is called “Vice Versa.” There is more vice than versa in some novels, but this is vice versa. —Norristown Herald. An exchange heads an article “Where Six Generals Fell.” No doubt it was in close proximity to a saloon —where a great many “Colonels” continue to fall.— Norristown Herald. Out West a man is considered nobody unless he has “killed his man.” There is where young physicians have the ad vantage over the average man in migrat ing west. —Lowell Citizen. A Philadelphia woman was so fright ened by a drunken man two weeks ago that she lost her voice. And yet some people claim that no good results from hitemperauce.— Oil City Blizzard. It is stated that but twelve Senators of the United States have presidential aspirations. When the convention of 1884 are over, most of them will cease to aspire and commence to perspire.— Lowell Citizen. It is said that King C'ety wayo was so rude as to yawn while visiting the Brit ish House of Commons. If a member was speaking, we don’t see how he could help it. It is a marvel that he didn’t fall asleep.— Norristown Herald. A lawyer-congressman, on seeing a pair of trousers brought into court to prove what part of the body t his client’s dog had bitten the complainant, moved that they be referred to the committee on “contested seats.”— Yonker’s Ga zette. Cecil. —“ What is the next thing to a good hnsband?” Well, really, we never gave the subject much thought, but we imagine that the next thing to any brand of a husband is his gauze wear. Are we right? If not we give it up.— The Bye. Victor Hugo is said to be troubled with poor sight. It is also said that he kissed the party of female dry goods clerks from Boston who recently visited him; and it may be that the hinge on one of their eye-glasses gouged him in the optic, and impaired his vision.— Norristown Herald. The biggest thing the average Chica go girl gets in her Christmas stocking is when she puts the stocking on.— Eugene Field. This is true, and they don’t get very much in either. But the biggest things those St. Louis girls get in their stockings are upright pianos and dressing cases. —The Eye. Somebody shook a log-cabin bed quilt at Oscar Wilde when he was in this country and it knocked him so crazy for two days that a man had to lead him around town by a bed-cord to keep him from butting his head against a lump of oatmeal mush and scattering his brains all over the union.— Bill Nye. An illiterate farmer, in Warfield, Texas, being nominated for tax collec tor, went and cut his throat. It hap pens so rarely that a man nominated for an office for which he has no quali fications ever hesitates to accept, that the prompt conduct of the Texas in capable almost challenges admiration. —Cincinnati Saturday Night. Lydia E. Pinkham’s great blood searcher guarantees to eradicate all hu mor from the system and we are trem bling as we write for fear that the Mor mon humorist who draws a salary on ourcsteemed polygamous contemporary, the Deseret News, may have risen in the night and taken his medicine out of the wrong bottle.— Bill Nye. A would-be smart young man on the West Side wears a very .fine looking shed kitchen over his eyes and breathes through his mouth while his nose is get ting well. He told his boarding house creditress to “head off the butter, and shoo it around his way.” Some people can’t stand humor; it stops the circula tion of the blood.— The Eye. He Didn’t Bark. Courier Journal. John Henry, the masher, stood on the corner with another one of his kind watching for a girl to come along whom he might crush. At last a thin young woman from the rural districts came by, and John Henry thought he had found her. As she passed, he said something about her being bony, but he went after her, and catching up, he said; “Good evening, Miss.” “Good evening,” she replied, look ing at him so suspiciously that he hesi tated. “Ahem, Miss, ahem, a—” “Well,” she put in, “why don’t you bark?" “Bark?—bark? What do you mean? I don’t quite understand.” “Oh you don’t? Why, in our coun try a pupy that has any decent train ing always barks when he finds a bone.” John Henry didn’t have any more to say, and to this day he is a changed man. Personal To Men Only! !. The Voltaic Belt Cos., Marshall, Mich;, will send Dr. Dye’s Celebratrd Electro- Voltaic Belts and Electric Appliances en trial for thirty days to men (young or old) who are afflicted with Nervous Debility, Lost Vitality and Manhood, and kindred troubles, guaranteeing speedy and complete destoration of health and manly vigor. Ad dress as above. N. B.—No risk is incurred as thirty days’ trial is allowed. FALL MILLINERY! A splendid assortment of NT B W F Alilj MILUMEIT AT THE STORE OF Mr M. E. RAINES. The Ladies and all desiring to purchase something New and Fashionable ! in Millinery, will find it to their advantage to examine her stock at an eaily date. STORE AT THE OLD STAND, Jackson Street, west of the Public Square, Americas, Ga. octutf THE CELEBRATED SEXTUPLE SPRING BED. To breathe, eat and sleep well is the first requirement of physical organization. S- FLEISCHMAN’S SEXTUPLE BED SPRING. [Patented Aug. 22, 1882.] Is the first and foremost to accomplish this end, as it facilitates the first, accelerates the second, and perfects the last of these grand purposes. It is a “thing of beauty and a joy forever.” Last with life, perfect in its adaptation forcomlort, being disconnect ed in the center prevents sagging. Made by S. M- LESTER, who will put them on, and is from long experience able to guarantee satisfaction. AGENTS WANTED to sell these Springs. Territory and Spring outfit furnished and large commissions paid. S. FLEISCHMAN, Patentee and Manufacturer, octll-6m Cotton Ave., Americus.Ga. Rosser & Gunnels. New Bar and Billiard SALOON. Messrs. G. S. ROSSER and P. W. GUN NELS have opened a Bar and Billiard Sa loon in the new building of Hamil Bros., on Cotton Avenue, where they have a fine stock of pure Brandies, Wines and Whiskies ! Also the National Drink, ANHUESER BEER, fhe best in the land. The best Cigars and Tobacco always on band. Our Billiard Saloon is one of the best in the city—everything new and good. We in vite the public generally to give us a trial. In a few days our RESTAURANT will be opened, and we promise that it shall com pare with the best and be surpassed!by none. ROSSER & GUNNELS, septßtf Americus, Ga. Hew Cotton Warehouse! I HAVE RENTED THE Sirrine Brick Building, ON EAST SIDE OF PUBLIC SQUARE AMEBICTJS. GA., Which I will repair and have ready to store cotton in during the coming season. My friends and the public are asked to patron ize me. All produce left in iny care by friends and others, will receive prompt at tention and sold at best prices offered. J. Li. PRICE. Americus, Ga., May 19, 1882. tf KNABC FIANO-rOKTUB. UNEQUALLED IN Tone, Toucti,Worl[iaiisliip & DuraMlity. WILLIAM KTVABE -A, CO. Nos. 204 and 206 West Baltimore Street, Baltimore. Ho. 112 Fifth Avenue, New York. AN HONEST OFFER. If you are sick or ailing, no matter what the complaint, write to us. and we will send you on trial one of our large ELECTRO MEDICATED PADS, provided you agree to pay for it if it cures you. If it does not, it costs you nothing to try it. Book, etc., giving full particulars, free. Address ELECTRO PAR M’F’G CO., Brooklyn, N, Y. wtolilo In legitimate judicious speculation in Grain, Provisions and Stocks on our perfected plan, yields sure monthly profits to large and small investors. Address, for full particulars, R. E. KENDALL & CO., Commission Mer chants, 177 &179 La Salle St., Chicago, 111. By B.M. WOOLLEY ■DTTTTUT Atlanta, Ga. Reliable JTA U ill, evidence given, and reference to cured HABIT Patents and physy cians. Send for my CURE. book on The Habit, - —and its Cure. Free. Newspaper Advertising Bureau 10 Spruce Street, New York; The Genuine Article. Now. is the time for sowing RYE and BARLEY for winter grazing. We have oa hand the genuine Dooly county Seed. sept27tf GLOVER & PERRY. Dr. Eldridge’s Drug Store. LIGHT. LIGHT. LIGHT! LIGHT. LIGHT. Lamps in all Yarieties. HALL LAMPS ! STORE LAMPS ! LANTERNS! Etc., Etc. o NON-EXPLOSIVE KEROSENE OIL. DRUGS AND MEDICINES Of All Kinds and Sorts I Americus, Ga., Sept. 9,'■1882. Dr. Eldridge’s Drugstore. L. B. BOSWORTH. B F JOSSEY BOSWORTH & JOSSEY, WHOLESALE AND RETAIL Forsyth Street, Americus, Ga. NOW IN STOCK AND TO ARRIVE, 1 Car Bulk Sides, 200 Bbls. Flour, Comprising the following Brands: “GLORY OF THE WORLD PATENT ” “OUR PATENT,” “BELLE OF SUMTER”—Extra Family— ’ “XXX,” —Family. These brands are our private marks and we shall see to it that the goods under these names shall be standard. Our “Glory of the World” is perfection in Flour. One Car Liverpool Salt, 10,000 Yards Bagging, 500 Bundles Cotton Ties, SALMON, SARDINES,.OYSTERS, and CANNED MACKEREL—SO Case Luts each. 100 CASES BALL POTASH, 50 CASES SODA, 500 Lbs. MACCABOY SNUFF—Jars and Tins, GILT EDGE CREAMERY BUTTER always on band, 50 BUCKETS PURE STICK CANDY, 500 lbs FANCY CANDY, 150 BOXES CRACK ERS as low to Merchants as they can buy at Bakeries 300 Packages AUGUST CATCH MACKEREL. (There is greater chance for swindles in Fish than any other article of merchandise sold. Don’t be deceived by low prices and buy a lot of worthless Fish that perhaps have been re-packed or caught in May and June. Our third purchase is just coming in and we guarantee quality and weight.) MACARONI, COX’S GELATINE, CROSSE & BLACKWELL’S PICK LES AND CHOW CHOW, MACKEREL IN TOMATO SAUCE, OKRA AND TOMATOES and everything in the FAUCI GROCUBY LIME ! OAT MEAL, WHEATEN GRITS AND GRAHAM FLOUR, 25 BAGS RIO COFFEE, 25 BAGS COSTA RICA, Ordinary to Choice, finest flavored in the world, strong* and rich. BREAKFAST COCO, a splendid drink for persons of a nervous temperament, and most palatable to all. ARBUCKLE’S AIUOSA COFFEE, ROASTED AND THE “CONEI’ONA” BRAND OF ROASTED COFFEE, COMPOSED OF COSTA RICA, MIRACAIBO AND JAVA. Xjiq.-u.ors and Cigars I We shall continue to keep the best Liquors in the market, along witli BUDWEISER BEER ON ICE, MAILTELL’S BRANDY WILL BE ON OUR SHELVES AT ALL TIMES. WE DEFY COMPETITION IN CIGARS. “FLEMING’S DARK HORSE” IS THE BEST NICKLE CIGAR ever offered to Americus smokers. WE ARE AGENTS FOR THE II ASBA. n D POWDEH COMPANY and can furnish any sort of Towder, Blasting, FFFG, Duck and the course brands of sli gun Powder. We are also Agents of the Repanno Chemical Works, and shall have o hand a good lot of Fuse Caps and Dynamite Cartridges for blasting stumps. Every farm er can lid his lands of all stumps at a nominal cost and with perfect safety. We shall in the season now upon us keep a heavy line of Groceries and COUNTRY MERCHANTS will be as well taken care of by us as any one in tire trade. We shall continue to duplicate any bill bought of Atlanta or Macon Jobbers. BOSWORTH & JOSSEY, FORSYTH ST., - - - AMERICUS.GA. sept22tf iliili Davis & Callaway, AMERICUS, GA. I Dry Goods, 2 Clothing, J Boots and Shoes, Hats, Q Carpets, 6 Sewing Machines, Trunks, &c. Americus, Ga., September 13, 1882. tf PROCLAMATION No. 1! JOHN R. SHAW, liil.L'JMl.l.’M gH.lfamilM jB Forsyth Street, - - Americus, Ga., ISSUES THIS, HIS Fall Proclamation! Hereby Inviting Everybody, and more Particularly the Ladies, to call and see his HMD DISPLAY OF CHS!! Which have recently been added to his Stock, WITH A LARGE LOT ON THE WAY! WHICH, WHEN BEOsEVEB, WILL MAKE HIS M Incise, fitl a Styles lliepi, Qiality itaupei, Prices ilifrmtatefl, ai Variety Dirmlci! Call at once and oblige yours truly, JOHN R. SHAW, DEALER IN DRY GOODS AND NOTIONS, FsxncTT" Goods, Boots, Shoes, Hats, Caps, Umbrellas, CLOTHING ! LADIES CLOAKS, Bedsteads and Chairs, Roll Plate Jewelry, Tutt’b Liver Pit’s, Etc., Etc., * FORSYTH STREET, AMERICUS. 6A. septßtf