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§|lje ||mnter Republican. Spoopendyke on Beeclier. She Tlitnks that the Rev. Brooklyn Beecher haw Quit Religion. Brooklyn Eagle. “I see that Mr. Beecher has abandon ed the ministry ami quit religion alto gether,” observed Mrs. Spoopendyke, holding up the pattern of a polonaise and wondering if it would come up high enough in the neck. ‘‘l suppose the poor man will have to speculate in stocks or write jokes for the Christy Minstrels to make a living now; won’t he?” “Who’s been lend'ng you a circus poster this trip?” demanded Mr. Spoop endyke, springing up like a trunk lid. “What patent medicine label have you been studying lately? Who says lie’s quit the ministry? He’s only left the Society of Congregational Ministers because he doesn’t believe exactly as they do.” “That’s what I said,” argued Mrs. Spoopeudyke, laying ilie pattern on the cloth and beginning to cut it out. “He disagreed with the Congregational religion and said he guessed he’d go away somewhere and let ’em have it. to themselves. 1 don’t know what Ply mouth Church will do without him, though—” “Do!” ripped Mr. Spoopendyke. “Do! it will set a rat trap and catch him again! What d’ye s’pose it will do? Got some idea it will hire out as a cook, washer and ironer; no. objection to going a short distance in the coun try, haven’t ye? P’raps you think it will open as a hotel! Weil, it won’t, and it won’t put on a long shirt and a short apron and go howling around as a two-legged lunatic asylum, either. Don’t I tell ye he has only just quit the society of ministers!” “I didn’t suppose they’d hurt him,” said Mrs. Spoopendyke, scratching her nose with the scissors and figuring out the allowance for the seams. “Hurt him!” roared Mr. Spoopen dyke, “of course they hurt him! They used to lay him down and walk on him, and they’d sit astride his stomach and flay euchre on his chin, till he swallow ed the joker, and then they fished for it with umbrellas until they choked him. Don’t ve know the difference between a society of ministers and a religion? Can’t ye distinguish between a practic ing preacher and the church of God? He’s quit the ministers and not the church! Got a tooth you can bestow that idea in?” “Well, of course the man had a right to pick his associates, but I understood you to say that he didn’t agree with their religion. If that’s the case, they ought to alter it, because a man like Mr. Beecher—” “Alter it!” demanded Mr. Spoopen dyke, “how’re they going to alter it? Think they can put another flounce around the bottom and a patch on the elbows like a frock? Imagine they can make it a straight up and down or a bell crown,by ironing it out like a stove pipe hat? It’s the tenet of the church, the basis of the faith, that he dissents from, as they won’t change that he got out. Does a streak of intelligence be gin to dawn on you now? Think you feel an idea wobbling around yonrback hair?” • “I see,” murmured Mrs. Spoopen dyke. “He just abandoned religion and ministers, but lie sticks to his church. I understand it now.” “Oh, you understand it,” howled Mr. Spoopeudyke. “You’ve got your claws in it at last! All you want now is a row among the faculty and a gym nasium to be a theological seminary! He hasn’t abandoned religion! He only announced that he don’t believe certain parts of the Congregational faith. Think your mind is long and thin enough to penetrate that?” “Certainly,” replied Mrs. Spoopen dyke. “That’s plain enough. He didn’t like some things they did, and so he concluded to leave those ministers to their own devices. But what is lie going to do for a faith to keep Ply mouth Church going?” “Buy one!” snorted Mr. Spoopen dyke. “He’s going to get measured for one and have it sent home, if the tailor doesn’t disappoint him! P’raps you think he’s going to sit out in the back yard and pop over the first faith he sees running along the fence! Maybe you think he’ll find some second-hand faith cheap somewhere, have the bottom soldered lip, anew snout set in, and palm it off on his congregation for new. I tell ye he sticks to the old faith with the exception of the atonement and hell. Ever read about the atonement? Got any kind of notion about hell?” “Of course I have,” replied Mrs. Spoopendyke. “I begin to see the drift now. The ministers wanted the atone ment and—and—that other thing, and he gave it to them, and he’s going to substitute Plymouth Church for those things, and let the ministers look after themselves. Now it’s clear to me.” “Oh, you’ve got it!” yelled Mr. Spoopendyke. “There’s the whole in a teacup. If you only had red cushions and a rack nailed up in front of you, you’d only need an overdue mortgage, and a fight in the choir to be a fashion able church. Let it alone, will ye? Drop the subject before that wonderful intelligence of yours drowns me out! Another time you want to talk religion, I’ll get a hen to listen to you!” And Mr. Spoopendyke plunged his head among the pillows and brooded over bis wrongs. “I don’t care,” murmured Mrs. Spoopendyke, basting the lining into the front of the dress, “Mr. Beecher may not like those poor ministers for their religion, but there’s no reason why he should leave them. He ought to show them the sinfulness of their ways and get them to abandon their hold on the bad place. Anyway, I’m glad lie’s going to keep up preaching, for the poor man has got a family on his hands, and I think I’ll go Sunday and hear his explanation, if I can get this dress done.” Now is the time to plant fall Cabbag you can get FKESII SEED at Dr. Eldridgejs Drag Store. FALL MILLINERY ! A splendid assortment of ixr w aijilj MILLINERY AT THE STORE OF Mrs. M.E. RAINES. The Ladies and all desiring to purchase something New and Fashionable ! in Millinery, will find it to their advantage to examine lier stock at an early date. tfTGRE AT THE OLD STAND, Jackson Street, west of the Public Square, Americus, Ga. octlttf THE GEL LBRATED SEXTUPLE SPUING BED. ' w~ To breathe, eat and sleep well is the first requirement of physical organization. S. FLEISCriMAN’S SEXTUPLE BED SPRING. [Patented Aug. 22,1882.] Is the first and foremost to accomplish this end, as it facilitates the first, accelerates tlie second, and perfects the last of these grand purposes. It is a “tiling of beauty and a joy forever.” Last with life, perfect in its adaptation forcomlort, being disconnect ed in the center prevents sagging. Made by S. M- LESTER, who will put them on, and is from long experience able to guarantee satisfaction. AGENTS WANTED to sell these Springs. Territory and Spring outfit furnished and large commissions paid. S. FLEISCHMAN, Patentee and Manufacturer, octll-Gm Cotton Ave., Americus. Ga. Rosser & Gunnels. New Bar and Bilik SALOON. Messrs. G. S. ItOSSER and P. W. GUN NELS have opened a Jar and Hilliard Sa loon in the new building of Jlainil Bros., on Cotton Avenue, where they, have a line stock of pure Brandies, Wines anil Whiskies ! Also the National Drink, ANHUESER BEER, tlie best in tlie land. The best Cigars and Tobacco always on hand. Our Billiard Saloon is one of the best in tlie city—everything new and good. We in vite tlie public generally to give us a trial. In afew days our RESTAURANT will be opened, and we promise that it shall com pare with tlie best and be surpassed by none. ROSSER & GUNNELS, septStf Americus, Ga. LjjiiE i-^AU’O-PORTES. UNEQUALLED IN . Touch, WortoaiuMp&Dural)ility. WILLIAM KIVABE fc CO. : i'.l :.i (5 West Baltimore Street, Baltimore. N.i. lFilth Avenue, New York. AN HONEST OFFER. If you are sick or ailing, no matter what tlie complaint, write to us and we will send you on trial one of our largo ELECTRO MEDICATED PADS, provided you agree to pay for it if it cures you. If it does not, it costs you nothing to try it. Book, etc., giving full particulars, free. Address ELEC'fIIO PAH Jl’F’li CO., Brooklyn, V. V. mail In legitimate judicious speculation in Giain, Provisions and Stocks on our perfected plan, yields sure monthly profits to large and small investors. Address, for full particulars, R. E. KENDALL & GO., Commission Mer chants, 177 & 17'j La Salle St., Chicago, 111. _ By B.M. WOOLLE Y -013YT Atlanta, Ga. Reliable y jji evidence given, and reference to cured HABIT Patients and pliys * eians. Send for my CURE. book on Tlie Habit, and its Cure. Free. Newspaper Advertising! Bureau 10 Spruce Street, New York; Drs. HEAD & BLACK Have permanently established tlie wonder ful Vitalizing Electro Therapeutic and Elec tro Magnetic medical dry heat and vapor treatment rationally combined to meet all the various indications of the ills incident to life, by imparting a pleasant and vitalizing sensation to tlie patient without tlie shock of tlie old manipulations of electricity. It im proves tlie complexion, renews the blood, promotes nutrition and digestion, removes constipation, and while removing all op pression of tlie system overcomes depression and exhaustion, removes malaria and pre vents Typhoid condition. It is tonic, cleans ing the system internally and externally. Dr. Black continues to make the treatment of CANCERS a specialty, ho guarantees a cure of all cases under liis treatment. Office rooms over Mrs. Raines’ millinery store. Office hours from 8 A. M. to 12 M , and from 2tor,r. m. Consultation free, augllitf MULE TAKEN UP. 11. J. McFarlan, near Bottsford, took up about the 18th of September, a medium size BAY MARE MULE. Owner, come for ward, prove property, pay charges and take tlie mule. sept3!K)tf Dr. Eldridge/s Drug Store. LIGHT. LIGHT. LIGHT! LIGHT. LIGHT. Lamps in all Varieties. % HALL LAMPS ! STORE LAMPS ! LANTERNS! Etc.. Etc. o NON-EXPLOSIVE KEROSENE OIL. V DRUGS AND MEDICINES Of All Kinds and Sorts I f Americus, Ga., Sept. 9,1882. Dr. Eldridge’s Drugstore. JAKES FRICKER, €. A. FRICKER, Danville, Ya. Ameuicus, Ga, Jas. Fricker & Bro’s. AND— —- MUSICAL INSTRUMENT HOUSE, Under Barlow House, Americus, Ga. New Firm, New Goods, Low Prices! Buying in such large quantities to supply this and tlie Danville store, we now get quantity discounts that we did not heretofore, and are thereby enabled to give our cus tomers lower prices than ever. Our stock of WATCHES, CHAINS, NECKLACES, LOCKETS, BRACELETS, RINGS, SETS, LACE PINS, EAR RINGS. GOLD AND SILVER THIMBLES, SOLID SILVERWARE, KNIVES, FORKS, SPOONS, CASTORS, BUTTER DISHES, PICKLE STANDS, SYRUP CUPS, SPOON HOLDERS, BAKING DISHES, CAKE BASKETS, WATER SETS, WAITERS, GOBLETS, CUPS, FLOWER STANDS, CARD RECEIVERS, ETC., ETC., was never more complete than at tlie present time. We also have on hand a large lot of Oloolsis of* Etll Kinds ! I which we will sell cheaper than ever and guarantee eacli one to give entire satisfaction SEWING MACHINES. WE KEEP THE Mils, WILLIAMS SIM, Hi k WILSi, NEW HOME, AND MANY OTHERS, constantly on hand, and have just reduced the price FIVE DOLLARS oil eacli style. Just think of it, a bran new Wheeler & Wilson, No. 8, with two drawers and drop leaf, witli attachments complete, for TWENTY-EIGHT DOL LARS. Machines guaranteed in every respeet. Needles, Oil, Attachments, and Parts for all Machines, kept in stock. SPECTACLES. We always keep in large quantities, and have instruments to test your eyes, and can fit you up witli just what you need. Prices from Fifty-Gents to Twelve Dollars per pair. MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS. This Department is filled with PIANOS, ORGANS, ORGUINETTES, ACCORDEONS, HARMONICAS, VIOLINS, GUITARS, BANJOS, TAMBOURINES, and everything else in the Musical Instrument line down to a Jews Harp. In this line, as in all others, we cannot be undersold, as we buy in large quantities direct from manufacturers. Our terms for selling Pianos and Organs on time are more liberal than any other house we know of. To convince yourselves, get prices and terms from any one else and then call and compare with ours. Remember, when you buy from us you don’t have to pay freight extra; the price of Instrument covers that; also includes Stool and Book. We guarantee every Instrument sold. Should anything get wrong you do not have to write North and wait ten days for an answer, or ship your Instrument a thousand miles to have it repaired, and be deprived of the use of it for six or eight weeks, but simply report the trouble to us. Be sure and examine our stock, and get our prices, before you purchase. WORK DEPARTMENT. We will, as heretofore, turn out nothing but first-class work. Mr. G. A. FRICKER gives his personal attention to this Department. ALL'WORK WARRANTED. Prices reasonable. We solicit your patronage, and will endeavor by fair dealing to merit tliesame. JAMES FRICKER & BROTHER* SEVEN DEPARTMENTS * Davis & Callaway, AMERICUS, GA. j Dry Goods, 2 Clothing, J Boots and Shoes, 2|i Hats, Carpets, 6 Sewing’ Machines, Trunks, &c. Americus, Ga., September 13, 1882. tf PROCLAMATIO No. N1! JOHN R. SHAW, Forsyth Street, - - Americus, Ga., ISSUES THIS, HIS Fall Proclamation! Hereby Inviting Everybody, and more Particularly the Ladies, to call and see his GRAND DISPLAY OF NEW GOODS!! Which have recently been added to his Stock, WITH A LARGE LOT ON THE WAY! WHICH, WHEN REGIEVEB, Will ME HIS Stout linn, fill Stiles iJiepalel, lit? taped, Prices Dpceleitei, anil Mi llnriialel! Call at onee and oblige yours truly, JOHN R. SHAW, DEALER IN DRY GOODS AND NOTIONS, Fancy C3-oocLs, * • . t J..';' Boots, Shoes, Hats, Caps, Umbrellas, CLOTHING ! LADIES CLOAKS, Bedsteads and Chairs, Roll Plate Jewelry, Tutt’s Lit er PiPs, Etc,, Etc., FORSYTH STREET, AMERICUS. GA. septStf . •