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THE SEVII-WEEKLY SUMTER REPUBLICAN. ESTABLISHED IN 1854, By CHAS. w. HANCOCK. ( VOL. 18. , The Sumter Republican. Semi-Weekly, One Year - - - ?4 00 Weely, One Year - - - - - 2.00 l |3J“Payable in advance tel ! All advertisements eminating from public \ ,o dices will be charged for in accordance with tin act passed by the late General Assembly of Georgia—7s cents per hundred words for each of the first Jour insertions, and 35 cents for each subsequent insertion. Fractional parts of one hundred are considered one hundred words; each figure and initial, with date and signature, is counted as a word. The cash must accompany the copy of each advertisement, unless different arrange ments have been made. Advertising" Kates. L One Square first insertion, - - - -51.00 ( Each subsequent insertion, - - - - 50 ) j3J“Ten Lines of Minion, type solid con ‘stitute a square. ' All advertisements not contracted for will be charged above rates. \ Advertisements not specifying the length of time for which they are to be inserted will be continued until ordered out and charged for accordingly. Advertisements to occupy fixed places will be charged 25 per cent, above regular rates Notices in local column inserted for ten cent per liue each insertion. Charles F. Crisp, Mtomey ai Law* AMERICUS, GA. ) declGtf •' B. P HOLLIS Attorney at JLaie^ AMERICUS, GA. Office, Forsyth Street, in National Bank building. . dec2otf eTcT simmons, ~ •ftttorney at JLaiv , AMERICUS GA., i ’ Office in Hawkins’ building, south side of I.amar Street, in the old office of Fort & Summons. janfitf Dr. 9 -H?ilO*#V .. 1) ■ X*. ueri>* • Geortria I Treatssuccessfully all diseasesof the Den ital organs. Fills teeth by the improved ! v method, and Inserts artificial teeth on the Ihest material known to the profession. WOFFICE over Davenport and Son’s Drug Store. marllt J. A. KY, ATTORNEY AT LAW ANI> SOLICITOR IN EQFITI. Office on Public Square, Over Gyles’ Clothing Store, Americus, Ga. After a brief respite I return again to the practice of law. As in the past it will he [ my earnest purpose to represent my clients I faithfully and look to their interests. The r.commercial practice will receive close atten ltion and remittances promptly made. The [Equity practice, and cases involving titles of Sand and real estate are my favorites. Will Imraotice in the Courts of South west Georgia, I tihe Supreme Court and the United States I Courts. Thankful to my friends for their I pitronage. Fees moderate. novlltf LChange of Firm. I \ THE FORMER FIRM OF CROCKER & TULLIS, ON COTTON AVENUE, iSias been dissolved by the purchase of Mr. IclhE. CROCKER’S interest by Mr. B. 11. and the new firm of TULLIS & JOSSEY, Ityill assume the responsibilities of the for- Ifflier firm, and will he pleased to have their ■friends call and examine their new and low Ipriced stock of goods, h TULLIS & JOSSEY, I declutf Americus, Ga. U THE CELEBRATED I SEXTUPLE Luring bed. ■ To breathe, eat and sleep well is the first requirement of physical organization. R S. FcE IS- MAN'S BEXTUPLE BED SPRING. V. [Patented Aug. 22, 1882. L ■s\the first and foremost to accomplish this Kntdi as it facilitates the first, accelerates ■he second, and perfects the last of these ■rand purposes. It is a “thing of beauty and K foy forever.” Last with life, perfect in ■3 adaptation forcomtort, being discouneet- Kd in the center prevents sagging. Made by H. M- LESTER, who will nut them on, and Ms from long experience able to guarantee satisfaction. ■GENTS WANTED Hell these Springs. Territory and Spring ■tfet furnished and large commissions paid. I / S. FLEISCHMAN, [ '/ Patentee and Manufacturer, * jectn-gm Cotton Ave„ Americus. Ga. JRaper, Envelopes,[Box Paper, Bl’k looks, Pens, Inks, Pencils, etc., at jV . T. Davenport & Son’s. For l>yspepsia, Chronic Dlar y rhooa, Jaundice, Impurity of tlio Bloot * Fever and lurjjßlli'LJ UB Ague, Malaria, and all Diseases ■ ■ ££ caused by De rangement of Liver, Bowels and Kidneys. SYMPTOMS OF A DISEASED LIVER. Bad Breath; Pain in the Side, sometimes the pain is felt under the Shoulder-blade, mistaken for Rheumatism; general loss of appetite; Bowels generally costive, sometimes alternating with lax; the head is troubled with pain, is dull and heavy, with considerable loss of memory, accompanied with a painful sensation of leaving undone something which ought to have been done; a slight, dry cough and flushed face is sometimes an attendant, often mistaken for consumption; the patient complains of weariness and debility; nervous, easily startled; feet cold or burning, sometimes a prickly sensation of the skin exists; spirits are low and despondent, and, although satisfied that exercise would be bene ficial, yet one can hardly summon up fortitude to try it—in fact, distrusts every remedy. Several of the above symptoms at tend the disease, but cases have occurred when but few of them existed, yet examination after death has shown the Liver* to have been extensively deranged. It should be used by all persons, old and youug, whenever any of tho above symptoms appear. Persons Traveling: or Living: in Un healthy Localities, by taking a dose occasion ally to keep the Liver in healthy action, will avoid all Malaria, Bilious attacks, Dizziness, Nau sea, Drowsiness, Depression of Spirits, etc. It will invigorate like a glass of wine, but is no in toxicating beverage. If You have eaten anything hard of digestion, or feel heavy after meals, or sleep less at night, take a dose and you will be relieved. Time and Doctors* Bills will bo saved by alway s keeping the Regulator / in the House! For, whatever the ailment may be, a thoroughly safe purgative, alterative and tonic can never dc out of place. The remedy is harmless and does not interfere with' business or pleasure. IT IS PURELY VEGETABLE, And has all the power and efficacy of Calomel or Quinine, without any of the injurious after effects. A Governor's Testimony. Simmons Liver Regulator has been in use in my family for some time, and I am satisfied it is a valuable addition to the medical science. J. Gii.l Shorter, Governor of Ala. lion. Alexander H. Stephens, of Ga., says; Have derived some benefit from the use of Simmons Liver Regulator, and wish to give it a further trial. “The only Thing that never fails to Relieve.”—l have used many remedies for Dys pepsia, Liver Affection and Debility, but never have found anything to benefit me to the extent Simmons Liver Regulator has. I sent from Min nesota to Georgia for it, and would send further for such a medicine, and would advise all who are sim ilarly affected to give it a trial as it seems the only thing that never fails to relieve. P. M. Janney, Minneapolis, Minn. Dr. T. W. Mason says: From actual ex perience in the use of Simmons Liver Regulator in my practice I have been and am satisfied to use and prescribe it as a purgative medicine. only the Genuine, which always has on the Wrapper the red Z Trade-Mark and Signature of J. 11. ZEILIN & CO. FOR SALF. BY AT.T. DRUGGISTS Turn ‘ EXPEETOIIiT 11 I IMUTHI IIH Mi r? im’ 3 Is composed of Herbal and Mucilaginous prod ucts, which permeate the substance of the Lungs, expectorates the acrid matter that collects in the Bronchial Tubes, and forms a soothing coating, which relieves the Ir ritation that causes the cough. It cleanses the lungs of all impurities, strengthens them when enfee bled by disease, invigor ates the circulation of the blood, and brncesthe nervous system. -Slight colds often end In consumption. It is dangerous to neglect Iheni. Apply the remedy promptly. A test of twenty years warrants tho assertior that no remedy has ever been found that Isas prompt in it3 effects ns TUTT’S EXPECTORANT. A single dose raises tho phlegm, subdues inflammation, and its use speedily cures the most obstinate cough. A pleasant cordial, chil dren take it readilw. For Croup it is invaluable and should ho in every family. ln_r>c. and Bottles. TUTT R?LLS ACT DIRECT iVcHMT HE LIVER. Cures Chilis and Fever, Dyspepsia, Sick Headache, Bilious Colic,Constipa tion, Rheumatism, Files, Palpitation of the Heart, Dizziness, Torpid Liver, and Female Irregularities. If you do not “feel very well,” a single pill stimulates the stomach, restores the nnpetitc,imparts vigor to tlie system. A NOTED DEVINE SAYS: Dr. Tutt:— Dear Sirt For ten years 1 have been a martyr to Dyspepsia, Constipation and Files. Last spring your pills were recommended tome; I used them (but with little faith). lam now a well man, have good appetite, digestion perfect, regular stools, piles gone, and I have gained forty pounds solid flesh. They are worth their weight in gold. REV. It, L. SlMPSON,Louisville, Ky. Jlfflce, 35 Murray St., IVew York. ( DR. TUTT’S MANUAL of Useful\ Receipts FREE on application* ) Pfcl . STOMACH _ Fitter 5 Uostetter’s Stomach Bittersgives steadiness to tiro nerves, induces a healthy, natural flow of bile, pryvents.constipation without unduly purging tho bowels, gently stimulates tho circulation, and by promoting a vigorous condition of the physical system, promotes, also, that cheerfulness which is the truest indication of a well-balanced condition of all the animal powers. For sale by all Druggists and Dealers generally. DAVENPORT’S Belle of Americus, Davenport & Son Are Sole Agents for BELLE OF AMERI CUS. It is made of the best Havanna, long fillers, Is not flavored or doctored and the only 5c Cigar in the market that is as good as an imported cigar. oct6-5m BRICK. BRICK. BRICK I have*TSREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND good new brick, whioh I will sell cheap, Apply at once. decGlm B. E. COBB. A fine lot of Christmas Goods cheap 1 for cash, at W. T. Davenport & Son’s. independent in POLITICS, and devoted to news, literature, science and general progress, AMERICUS, GEORGIA; WEDNESDAY J.ANUARY 17, 1883. VOV/AYLX. A EULABY. Sleep, my child! the shadows fall; Silent darkness reigns o’er all; Bird and bloom are lost to sight In the folded arms of night; Stars will soon from cloud-towers peep, While all nature lies asleep. Breathe thou softly! Best is sweet For tired hearts and aching feet; No dull care nor toil is thine— Nor sin, thou blessed child of mine; Tranquil on thy soft couch rest, With dreams of heaven in thy breast. Buds are sleeping; close thine eyes; Waken with a sot t surprise; Greet the morning with thy smile, And sweet prattle without guile, Scents lie sleeping in the flowers; Slumber till the daylight hours. Sleep! Thy Father guards thy rest; Lay thy head upon His breast; Safer than these arms which hold thee; His dear love will firm enfold thee; Higher love than mine shall He Give, beloved one to thee. Sleep! tho waves have long been sleeping; Angels o’er thee watch are keeping; O’er us both the pale stars shine With a radiance half divine. Slumber, innocent and light, Fall from heaven on thee to-night, —Chambers Journal. AW s MARRIAGE BY CAPTURE. ALL THE YEAR ROUND. When an Eskimo youth has killed a polar bear unaided, and so proven him self capable of providing for the wants of a family, he is sent forth at night to obtain a wife by seizing the first girl he can surprise unawares. She screams, of course, bringing out the whole vil lage population, and, an appreciative audience secured, sets upon her captor with tooth and nail, releases herself from his clutches, and darts among the crowd. He follows, pushing aside the old women who attempts to bar his progress, heedless of the seal-skin scourges they lay about his shoulders. Should he catch the flying lass, more scratching and biting ensues, and, per chance, a second escape. The chase is then renewed as before, only the wife hunte is inspirated by knowing that, a third capture effected, there will be no more maidenly struggles; the girl ac cepting her fate, and allowing him to lead her away amid the applauding shouts of the excited spectators. The aboriginal Austrailian adopts a more summary process when tired of single blessedness. He looks about fora like ly helpmate, and finding one, waits hjs opportunity, knocks her down, and car ries her home. Marriage by capture, in this simple form, is now unknown out of savagedom having elsewhere resolved itself into bridal-chases and sham bridal-battles; mere mockeries or mimicries of the grim realities of those ancient days when men literally took wives unto them selves, in practical assertion that “none hut the brave deserve the fair.” In Singapore the winning of a bride depends upon the matrimonial aspi rant’s fleetness of foot or skill in pad dling his own canoe. In the first case, a circular course is marked out, half of which is traversed by the maiden—en cumbered only with a waistband—ere the word is given for the would-be pos sessor to go in pursuit, in the hope of overtaking her before she has thrice compassed the circle; that achieved, she has no choice but to take the victor for her lord. In the water chase, the dam sel takeß her place in a canoe, and plies its double-bladed paddle until she has obtained a reasonable start, when her admirer sets off after her. The pair have come to a proper understand ing beforehand; but should the girl have no fancy for the suitor, and pos sess sufficient determination and strength of arm to gain the goal first, she is at liberty to laugh as the discon solate loser of tho match, and reserve herself for a claimant more to her lik ing- . Hride-chasing is generally a trial of ’horsemanship. In this shape it is prac ticed by most of the nomadic tribes of Central Asia. Captain Barnaby tells us that when it has to be deetded how a Turcoman belle is to be settled in life “the whole tribe turns out, and the young lady, being allowed the choice of horses, gallops away from her suitors. They follow her. She avoids those she dislikes, and seeks to throw herself in the way of the object of her affections. The moment she is caught she becomes the wife of her captor. Further cere monies are dispensed with, and he takes her to his tent.” In some tribes the girl is burdoned with the carcass of a goat or lamb, which must be snatched from her lap. The Hazavehs mark out a course some twelve miles long and three wido. As soon as the maiden has got far enough from the crowd to be able to guide her steed with perfect freedom she turns around, stretches out her hands to the waiting horsemen, and her father gives the signal to go in pursuit. The chase is sometimes a long-lasting one. A traveler reeords one in which, after two hours’ gallop ing, the field of nine had dwindled to four. Racing neck and neck together the riders gradully gained on the quar ry, each shouting in turn: “I come, ray Peri! I am your lover!” Oneofthe horses suddenly faltered in his 6tride, and the dismayed girl saw that the man of her heart was out of the hunt. Making a quick turn, she darted right across the path of th? three and made at full speed for her lover. The haffled suitors checked their head long career with one accord, but com ing into collision, two of them rolled over on the plain; and, eluding the re maining detrimental’s grasp with a tri umphant laugh, the maiden reached her lover’s side. In a moment his arms was around her waist, and she was his own. Among the Kalmucks the bride-race is reduced to a match, and Dr. Clark avers that the girls are such good horsewomen that for One to be caught against her will was a thing unknown. Ivulmucks of high degree, however, do not run their brides down; they bar gain for them, and the bargain conclud ed the bridegroom and the chief man of his hordes rides to the camp of the bride’s people, who feign opposition to the match, and only surrender the lady after a mock conflict. Sometimes the conflict is real enough. If a Kalmuck swain cannot find the wherewithal to satisfy the demands of his lady-love’s parents, or is for any other reason ob noxious to them, he enlists the aid of his kinsmen who at the earliest chance swoop down on the adverse Camp, and providing they do not get the worst of he fight, carry the prize of their valor to the expectant lover’s arms. In Circassia the carrying off of the bride is a prearranged affair, the bride groom and his followers rushing into the bride’s house while the wedding revelries are at their height there, and bearing the unreluctant damsel off with them. Against such an irruption the Indian Mussulman provides by closing the entrances to the lady’s abode, and setting a guard before it to receive the expected assailants. “Who are you who dare to obstruct the king’s caval cade?” demands the leader of the wife seekiug band. “There are theives abroad at night; possibly we behold them,” is the reply. A long inter change of uncomplimentary bandage ensnes, terminating in an attempt to break through the ranks of the bride’s defenders. Failing in this, the bride groom pays down a certain sum of motley and the gates are flung open. There is a second contest of strength within the gates, ending, as a matter of course, in giving up of the maiden and her departure with the victorious party. The Ivhords have turned marriage by capture from comedy into farce. Riding one night among the hills and English officer heard loud cries, seem ingly proceeding from a village hard by. Making for the spot, he saw a man carrying upon his back something en veloped in scarlet cloth. "He was sur rounded by twenty or thirty young fel lows, who had all their work to do to protect him from the desperate assaults of a number of girls. The man had just been married, and was conveying his blooming bride home; and not un til he was ill the boundaries of his own cottage did his fair put suers cease hurl ing stones at him, as he and they ran their hardest. The mock-battle forms part of the marriage ceremonies of the Kookles dwelling on the northeast frontiers of India; but with them the bride’s party has the best of the bout. After the purchase-money agreed upon has been paid down the friends of the bride-buy er essay to fetch his bargain, and get well thrashed for their pains; but the hurly-burly over the woman is brought out, conducted to the cottage-gate and then given up without any more ado. Among the Garrows of Bengal the re spective positions of the parties to the marriage are reversed. It is the gentle man’s part to effect unwillingness to enter the bonds of matrimony; it is for the lady to do the courting. When she has brought her wooing to its hoped-for end she fixes the day and bids her friends come and make merry with her. The feast finished, the guests bear the hostess to the river and give her a bath. Then a move is made for the happy-man. Seeing the advancing procession he pretends to hide, but soon suffers himself to be caught, carried to the water and well dipped therein. The parents, setting up a dismal bawling, rescue him from his captors and loudly declare they will not part with their beloved son. There is a scramble and they are overcome, a cock and hen are sacrificed, and the pair are man and wife. So late as the seventeenth century it was customary in some parts of Ireland for the bridegroom’s tricnds to receive those of the bride with a shower of darts, carefully directed so as to fall harmless; aud Lord Kalmes, who died in 1782, deposes that the marriage ob servances of the Welsh of the day were significantly symbolical of marriage by capture, the respective fiiends of the bride and groom meeting on horseback, the former refusing to deliver the lady on demand and bringing a sham con flict, during which the nearest kins man of the bride, behind whom she is mounted, galloped away to be pursued by the opposite party until men and horses have had enough of it, when the bridegroom was permitted to over take the pretended fugitive and bear her off in triumph. The Burricors of Prance are theonlv European people among whom the form of capture still survives. Upon the day of the wedding the doors of a bride’s house are closed and barricaded, the windows barred and her friends mustered within. Presently the bride groom’s party comes, asking admission on one false pretense after another. Finding of no avail they endeav or to force an entrance, with no better fortune. Then come* a parley; the besie gers proclaim that they bring the lady a husband and are admitted within doors, to fight for the possession of the heart, win it and the bride with it, the couple being forthwith united in the orthodox fashion. Teethina (Teething Powders) is fast taking the place of all other rem edies for the irritations of Teething Children. A ROUMANIAN LEGEND. In a little volume of Roumanian tales it is obvious that pride of life, so long as it is not ungrateful and ignorant, but is simply the overflow of rich qual ities of body or mind, is regarded by the Roumanian popular genius with especial favor. One of the legends con cerns the daughter of a Boyard, who falls in love with a handsome fisherman and even goes so far as to make an offer ot her hand—an offer which, after much doubt and bashfulness, heat length ac cepts. There was a rule in those days that the newly-married pair should each eat from one lightly boiled egg; the fisher man cut a thin slice of bread, and was going to dip it into the egg, whjn Mariola caught his arm, saying: “No, I must eat of it first; I am a Boyard’s daughter; you are only a fish erman.” No reply did he make, but, rising quietly from the table, quitted the ban queting hall, to the very great aston ishment of many of the guests, who did not know that he had been a fisherman. The bride was very troubled at the mistake she had made and sat biting her lips with dismay and chagrin. Be ing unable to support her position, she withdrew to her bedroom and locked herselt in. All night long sleep would not come to her, and she could only think of her absent bridegroom. At early morning she went to her father to demand permission to go in search of her husband. Her father tried to dis suade her from taking such a step, but in vain, and she set off on her errand. She traversed tho town, the country, villages, country again, again villages, until at length, in one of these small villages she saw him meanly dressed and acting as servant at a wayside inn. Approaching him quickly she began to addiess him, but he would not appear to know her, and continued his occupa tion. She entreated him only to speak one word to her, but he only shrugged his shoulders and turned away his head The master of the inn, seeing this inter ruption, called: “How is it that you interfere with my servant, and prevent his working? Don’t you see that he is dumb? If you are as respectable as your appearance would show, I advise you to go away and leave him alone.” “He is not dumb,” cried she; “he is my husband, and left "me for a single misunderstanding.” The villagers, who collected around, were astonished at what she said, for sho did not look like one who would be poking fun at them. The inn-keeper was also incredible, saying that a man who was able to speak would not remain a whole week without uttering a word. In truth, all around took him to be a mute,and used to converse with him by signs. He had already gained their good will by his usefulness and good temper. Mariola, seeing that no one would believe her story, offered to make a bet that in three days she would make her husband speak, if she were allowed to be always at his side; that if she did not succeed she would consent to be hung. This bet was accepted and legalized by the prefect of the village. The following day was to be the first of the trial. The fisherman at the be ginning of this, knew nothing of the bet, though later on he got a whisper of it. Mariola was constantly entreating for one little word. “My darling,” said she, “I have been very, very wrong. I married you be cause I loved you. 1 bind myself Dever again in all our lifetime, to commit such a fault. Soften your heart and speak just one word to me.” Yet no answer—only a shrug of the shoulders as if he did not understand what she was saying. The first day passed—came the sec ond day; that passed to yet no sound. On the third day Mariola began to tremble with fear, and followed the fish erman wherever he went, still begging him to speak only one word to her. He on the other hand, fearing to be over come by her tears, fled from her pres ence. The three days have passed; all the villagers are taken up with the affair of the dumb servant at the inn, and the pretty looking girl who had mistaken him for someone else, and brought this misfortune on herself. The scaffold was erected, the people have congregat ed together to see the end of this trag edy, the officials were there, who, against their will, were bound to carry the punishment. The executioner ap proached Mariola, and led her to the scaffold, saying that as she has failed to make the dumb man speak, Bhe must accept the forfeit of her life. Sighiug, she turned her head once more toward her impassive husband, but seeing no yielding from him, she prepared herself to die. Loosening her hair, she com mended herself in prayer to God. All the spectators were moved at the sight. On tbe steps of the scaffold, with the priest at her side, once more she tnrned toward the fisherman, crying: “My dear husband, pray come to my rescue! One word will suffice.” Shaking his heard he looked in an other direction. With the noose in his hand, waiting the executioner; soon he adjusted it around Mariola’s pretty neck —one more minute and all would have been over; but the fisherman, stretching forth his hand, called: “Stop!”" All the people were struck with as tonishment, and tears of joy rolled down their cheeks. The executioner withdrew the noose, and the fisherman, looking serenely at Mariola, asked: “Will you ever again taunt me with being a fisherman?” With great emotion, she cried: “Forgive me, my dear husband! I own my fault, and will never wound your feelings again.” “Let her come down,” said he, “for she is indeed my wife,” and, taking her by the hand, he led her back to their home, where their life was one banquet of happiness and prosperity in future. The Bart Boy Graduates in the Drug Business. “Well, what are you loafing around here for?” says the grocery man to the bad boy one morning this week. “It is after nine o’clock, and 1 should think you would want to be down to the drug store. How do you know but there will be somebody dying for h dose of pills?” “0, darn the drugstore. I have got sick of that business, and I have dis solved with the drugger. I have re signed. The policy of the store did not meet with my approval, and I have stepped out and am waiting for them to come and tender me a better position at an increased salary,” as he threw a cigar stub into a barrel of prunes and lit a fresh one. “Resigned, eh?” said the grocery man as he fished ont the cigar stub and charged the boy’s father with two pounds ot prunes. “Didn’t you and the boss agree?” “Not exactly. I gave,an old lady some gin when she asked for camphor and water, and she made a show of her self. I thought I would fool her, but she knew mighty well what it was, and she drank about a half a pint of gin, and got to tipping over bottles and kegs of paint, and when the drug man came in with his wife, the old woman threw her arms around his neck and called him her darling, and when he pushed her away, and told her she was drunk, she picked up a bottle of citrate of magnesia and pointed it at him, and the cork came out like a pistol, and he was shot, and his wife fainted away, and the police came and took the old gin refrigerator away, and then the drug man told me to face the door, and when I wasn’t looking he kicked me four times, aud I landed in the steet, and he said if I ever came in sight of the store again he would kill me dead. That is the way I resigned. I tell vou they will send formeagain. They never can run that store without me.” “I guess they will worry along with out yon,” said the grocery man. “How does your pa take your being fired out? I should think it would break him all up?” '“Oh, I think pa rather likes it. At first he thought he had a soft snap with me in the drug store, cause he has got to drinking again, like a fish, and he has gone back on the church entirely, but after 1 had put a few things in his brandy he con cluded it was cheaper to buy it, and he is noiv patronizing a barrel house down by the river. One day I put some Cas tile soap in a drink of brandy, and pa leaned over the back fence more than an hour, with his finger down his throat. The man that collects the ashes from the alley asked pa if he had lost any thing, and pa said he was only ‘sugar ing off.’ I don’t know what that is. VVhen pa felt better he came in, and wanted a little whiskey to take the taste ont of his mouth, and I gave him sunt with about a teaspoonful of pul verized alum in it. Well, sir, you’d a died. Pa’s mouth and throat was so puckered up that he couldn’t talk. don’t think that drug man will make anything by firing me out, because I shall turn all the trade that I control to another store. Why, sir, sometimes there were eight and nine girls in the store at onct, on account of my being there. They come to have me put ex tracts on their handkerchiefs, and eat gum drops. He will lose all that trade now. My girl that went back on me for the telegraph messenger boy, she came with the rest of the girls, but she found that I could be as hawty as dook. I got even with her though, I pretended 1 wasn’t mad, and when she wanted me to put some perfumery on her handker chief I said all right, and I put on a little geranium and white rose,and then I got some tincture of assafety and sprinkled on her dress and cloak when she went out. That is about the worst smelling stuff that ever was, and I was glad when she went out and met the telegraph boy on the corner. They went off together, but he came back pretty soon, about the home sickest boy you over saw, and he told my chum he would never go with that girl again be cause she smelled like spoiled oysters or Rewer gas. Her folks noticed it, and made her go and wash her feet, and soak herself, and her mother told my chum it didn’t do any good,she smelled just like aglew factory, and my chum, the darn fool, told her mother that it was me who prefnmed her, and he hit me in the eye with a frozen fish down by the fish storo, and that’s what makes my eye black, but I know how to cure a black eye. I have not been in the drug store eight days and not know how to cure a black eye. And I guess I learned that girl not to go back on a boy ’canse he smells like a goat.”— Peck's Sun. On Thirty Day’s Trial. The Voltaic Belt Cos., Marshall, Mich, will send Dr. Dye’s Celebratrd Electro- Voltaic Belts and Electric Appliances on trial for thirty days to men (young or old) who are afflicted with Nervous Debility, Lost Vitality and Manhood, and kindred troubles, guaranteeing speedy and complete restoration of health and manly vigor. Ad dress as above. N. B.—No risk is Incurred, as thirt y days’ tfial is allowed; dec2l-ly | KOUR DOLLARS PER ANNUM. A Texas Mother-In-law. A tall woman, wearing a sun bonnet, came into the office of the Galveston Chief of Police, yesterday morning, and, sitting down hard on the end of a bench, wiped her n.jse, batted her eyes a time or so at the Chief of Police, and asked in a voice that reminded one of sharpening a saw: “Be you the galoot that looks folks up?” “I regret to say that I am occasion ally obliged to resort to such extreme measures with refractory persons.” “I know all that, but be you the galoot?” “Yes, madam.” “Why didn’t you say so when I ask ed you?” “I did.” “You are a liar, and if you don’t treat me like a lady, I’ll fold you up and sit down on yon,” and she batted her eyes some more like a terror. “What do you want?” asked the official looking as if he needed reinforce ments right away, and plenty of them. “I want that dirty little whelp what married my daughter. I want to talk to him on business, but he evades me. If I could only get a chance to caress him once more!” and she breathed hard and gritted her teeth until the official felt in his pocket for a police whistle. “What did he do?” “He told my darter that he would give 320 acres of land,with a gold mine on it, to anybody who would amper tate my jaw with a boot-jack. He said my mouth was like the gate at the Fair Grounds.” “He meant, I suppose, it was never shut. I don’t see how he come to make any such ridiculous comparison as that. Did you remonstrate with him?” “You bet I did. I drawed him across the kitchen table by the hair with one hand, while I based him with a long handle skillet, and you should have heard him calling me ‘mother darling,’ and ‘pet,; but providence agin me. His har gave way, and he lit out before I could reason with him anymore. Just as like as not we will never meet again,” and she sighed heavily. “Be calm, madam; do not excite yourself too much.” “I am calm. I like to talk about these family secrets. It calls up sacred recollections. It makes me think of my darter’s fust husband. It was real fun to remonstrate with him. His har didn’t give. He was game. He sassed back, but Lord! what a time they had holding the inquest. That was at Ar kansas, before I moved to Galveston. There was some of his remains in one corner of the yard, and a few more re mains hanging on the fence, and there was right smart ol him wrapped around the ax handle. The jury knew me, so they brought in a verdict of justifiable suicide or homicide, or something like that. And now to think of this" pesky, little, worthless, spindle shanked, gog gled-eyed whelp, getting clear off, ex cepting a few pounds of har. I want you to find him for me. Y'ou can know him by the brands 1 made on him with the hot skillet. Wanted to ampertate my jaw, the little biassy whelp! Said my mouth was like a gate, did he?” The official said he would hunt for him and let her know. As she went out she batted her eyes significantly at the official and remarked: “You had better find that prodigal son or thar’ll be music at these head quarters.” WOMAN. Better than the smiles of Kings. To bring health, and happiness to the homes of suffering women is a mission be fore which royal favor sinks into insignifi cance. What earthly benefaction can com pare witli one which protects from “That dire disease whose ruthless power Withers beauty’s tsansient flower?” which gives ease for pain, Joy for sorrow, smiles for tears, the roses of health for the Sailor of disease, the light elastic step for ragging weariness, nightsof soft repose for heavy hours of tossing restlessness, bound ing vigor for languishing dulness, the swell ing lines of full grown beauty for the sharp and withered form of emaciation, a long life of mental, physical, social and domestic en joyments for a few sad days of pain and gloom, endingin an early grave? Such isthe mission, such are the resultt of Dr. J. Brad field’s Female Regulator, which is hence truly and appropriately styled “Woman’s Best Friend.’’ “Whites,” and all those irregularities of the womb so destructive to the health, happi ness and beauty of women, disappear like magic before a single bottle of tins wonder ful compound. Physicians prescribe it. Prepared by Dr. J. Bradfield, Atlanta, Ga. Price, trial size. 75c; large size, 51.501 For sale by all druggists. Jan9-2m Wliat an Editor Says. There are so many patent humbugs and nostrums, in the way of medicines, adver tised all over the country, that the masses are skeptical and are loth to buy unless the article offered for sale is known to possess real merits; and on the other hand, names of well known citizens are often forged to certificates for the purpose of effecting sale and palming off a worthless preparation. Taking these facts into consideration, it gives me pleasure to add my testimonial to a medicine which I know from personal ex perience to do all that is claimed for it. <>f course 1 refer to “Neuralglne,” a spe cific for neuraligia and headache, put up in this city by Hutchison & Bro. W. T. Christopher. Ed. Atlanta Daily Phonograph. HUTCHINSON & BKO.,Proprietors, At lanta, Ga. Sold by Dr. E. J. Eldridge, J. E. Hall, W. TANARUS, Davenport & Son and A. J.Jfc W. B. Hudson. Jan. 101 m. Mr. W. H. Barrett, Augusta, Ga., Dear Sir—l can cheerfully recom mend your GILDER PILLS as the best Blood Purifier I have ever used. Giving to the system a healthy tone, improving the appetite and clearing the complexion. They have also re lieved me of headaches resulting from billiousness. They stand pre eminent as the beet pill made. v *'“ SS Y’wiz 1 . NO. 33.