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\m SEMI-WEEKLY SUMTER REPUBLICAN.
ESTABLISHED IN 1854, )
By CHAS. W. HANCOCK.
VOL. 18.
The Sumter Republican.
Semi-Weekly, One Year - . - -94 00
Weely, One Year - - - - - 2.00
tgri’AYAELE ns ADTANCE_£3
All advertisements emulating from public
dices will be charged for In accordance with
an act passed by the late General Assembly
of Georgia—7s cents per hundred words for
each of the first four insertions, and 35 cents
for each sujjsequent Insertion. Fractional
Sarts of one hundred are considered one
uiiU.red words;each figure and initial, with
date and .signature, is counted as a word.
The cash must accompany the copy of each
advertisement, nnless' different arrange
ments have been made.
"Adverttiißg Bates.
One Square first insertion, - - - - lt.oo
Each subsequent insertion, - - - - 50
tafTES- Lines of Minion, type solid con
stitute a square.
All adyertisements not contracted tjjr will
be charged above rates.
Advertisements hot, specifying the length
•f time for which they, are to be inserted
will be continued until ordered out will
charged for accordingly.
Advertisements Jooccupy fixed places will
be charged 23 per ceut..above tegular rates
Notices-In-local column inserted for ten
cent per line each insertion.
JJ—.
Charles F. Crisp,
•lit or net/ at Law,
AMERICUS, GA.
deciotf -■ -
B. P. HOLLIS
Attorney at Law*
AMERICUS, GA.
Office, Forsyth Street, in National Bank
building. dec2otf
E. G. SIMMONS,
Attorney at Law ,
AMERICUS GA.,
Office in Hawkins’ building, south side of
Lamar Street, In the old office of Fort &
Simmons. janGtf
J. A. ANSLKY,
ATTORNEY AT LAW
AND SOLICITOR IN EQUITY,
Office on Public Square, Over Gyles’
Clothing Store, Americus, Ga.
After a brief respite X return again to the
practice of law- As in the past it will be
my earnest purpose to represent my clients
faithfully and look to their interests. The
commercial practice will receive close atten
tion and remittances promptly made. The
Equity practice, and cases involving titles of
land and real estate are my favorites. Will
p.ractice in the Oourtsof Southwest Georgia,
Courts’. Thankful to"my‘'if icYuTs* iur' tiibir
patronage. Fees moderate. novlltf
CARD.
I offer my prof essional services again to the
good people of Americus. After thirty years’
of medical service, I have found it difficult
to withdraw entirely. Office next door to
Dr. Eldridge’s drugstore, on the Square
janl7tf K. C. BLACK, M. D.
drYbacley’s
INDIAN VEGEHBIE LIVER AND
KIDNEV PILLS.
For sale by all Druggists in Americus.
Price 25 cents per box. jan26wly
Dr. D. P. HOLLOWAY,
DentisT,
Americus. - - - Georgia
Treats successfully all diseasesof the Den
tal organs. Fills teeth by the improved
method, and inserts artificial teeth on the
best material known to the profession.
over Davenport and Son’s
Drug Store. marllt
M. H. O’DANIEL. M. D
Amerlous, Gil.
Office and Residence, No. 21 Barlow
House.
All calls promptly attended, day or night.
Calls left at Eldridge’s Drug Store.
feb7-3m
Dr. J. F. Stapleton
Offers his professional services to the people
of Americus and surrounding couutry. He
will practice medicine, surgery, obstetrics,
and all other matters pertaining to his pro
fession. A successful experience in the past
will guarantee to him success. Calls left at
the residence of Mrs. Mary Jossey, at Dr.
Eldrldge's Drug Store, and at the office of
Drs. Head & Black, will receive prompt
attention. janl9-3m
JOHN E. HAUL,
DRUGGIST.
It was my intention by this advertisement
to call attention to some new features in my
Drug Business. It is hardly necessary, how
ever. Everybody knows my stand on For
syth street, and the large stock of
DRUG STORE GOODS
I am running and the low figures at which
they are purchasable. Thanks for my pres
ent liberal patronage, and solicit a continu
ation. Two doors from Post-office.
mar3-lm
Livery aid Sale Stales!
Besides Horses, we have the WEBSTER
WAGON, LANDIS BUGGIES, J. T.
BARNKS’ ROAD CARTS, KENTUCKY
MULES, here aud en route. To epitomize,
Horses, Mules, Wagons, Buggies, Carts,
and Harness to suit ail tastes and judge
meuts, Fine styles, substantial goods at ex
ceedingly LOVv FIGURES. The timescon
sidered in all our dealings. Call andsCe us.
N. G.:& J. K. PRINCE,
Cotton Ave. and West End Jefferson St.
jan3tf Americus, Ga.
.k ysuwrn It? J.
tfl ATDIiIAUII I |uol icun-uibir uu youiij.
JSSd TIMES, k
£***? BmU,
ForUyspepsia,
Chronic Diar
-0 rhooa, Jaundice,
Imparity of the
Blood, Fever and
A & ue ’ Malaria,
Nil 15]y and all Diseases
caused by De
rangement of Liver, Bowels and Kidneys.
SYMPTOMS .OF A DISEASED LIVER.
Bad Breath; Pain in the Side, sometimes the
‘pain is felt under mistaken lor
Rheumatism ; general loss- of appetite; Bowels
generally costive, sometimes alternating with lax;
the head is troubled with pain, is dull and heavy,
with considerable loss of meipory, accompanied
with a painful sensation of leaving undone something
which ought to have been done; a slight, dry cough
and flushed face is sometimes an attendant, often
mistaken for consumption; the patient complains
of weariness and debility; nervous, easily startled;
feet cold or burning, sometimes a prickly sensation
of the skin exists; spirits are low and despondent,
and, although satisfied that exercise would dc bene
ficial, yet one can hardly summon up fortitude to
try it—-In fact, distrusts every remedy. Several
of the above symptoms attend the disease, but cases
have occurred wncii but few of them existed,
examination after death has shown the Liver to
have Been extensively deranged.
It should:be used by all persons, old and
young, whenever any of the above
symptoms appear.
Persons Traveling or Living in Un
healthy Localities, by taking a dose occasion
ally to keep the Liver in healthy action, will avoid
all Malaria, Bilious attacks, Dizziness, Nau
sea, Drowsiness, Depression of Spirits, etc. It
will invigorate like a glass of wine, but is no in
toxicating beverage.
If YqU have eaten anything hard of
digestion, or feel heavy after meals, or sleep
less at night, take a dose and you will be relieved.
Time and Doctors’ Bills will be saved
by always keeping the Regulator
~ ' in tke,House*
For, whatever the ailment may be, a thoroughly
safe purgative, alterative and tonic can
never ue out of place. The remedy is harmless
and does not interfere with business or
pleasure.
IT IS PURELY VEGETABLE.
And has all the power and efficacy of Calomel or
Quinine, without any of the injurious after effects.
A Governor’s Testimony.
Simmons Liver Regulator has been in use in my
family for some time, and I am satisfied it is a
valuable addition to the medical science.
J. Gill Shorter, Governor of Ala.
Hon. Alexander U. Stephens, of Ga.,
says; Have derived some benefit from the ftse of
Simmons Liver Regulator, and wish to give it a
further trial. ‘
“The only Thing that never fails to
Relieve.”—l have used many remedies for Dys
pepsia, Liver Affection and Debility, but never
nave found anything to benefit me t> the extent
Simmons Liver Regulator has. I sent from Min
nesota to Georgia for it, and would send further for
such a medicine, and would advise ail who are sim
ilarly affected to give it a trial as it seems the only
thing that never fails to relieve.
P. M. Jannby, Minneapolis, Minn.
Dr. T. IV. Mason says: From actual ex
perience in the use of Simmons Liver Regulator in
my practice I have been and am satisfied to use
and prescribe it as a purgative medicine.
only the Genuine, which always
has on the Wrapper the red Z Tra<le-Mark
and Signature of J. 11. ZEILIN & CO.
FOR SALE BY ALT. DRUGGISTS.
TUTT*B
““"HFJSLo
A DISORDERED LIVER
IS THE BANE
Of the present generation. It is for the
Cure of this disease and its attendants,
BICK-HEAfiACHE, MIIOUhNESS, I)YS
PEPSI A, CONSTIPATION, PILES, etc., that
TUTT'S PILLS have gained a World-Wide
reputation. No Remedy baa ever beep
discovered that acta so gently on the
digestive organa, giving them vigor to aa
aimilate food. An a natural reanlt, the
Nervous System ia Braced, the Muaclea
are Developed, and the Body Kobust.
OHU.Ia nnd. IFowor,
E. RIVAL, a Planter at Bayou Sara, La., says *
My plantation ia in a malarial district. For
several yoare I could not make kaif a crop on
account of bilious diseases and chills. I v/aa
nearly discouraged when I began tho uae of
TUTT’S PILLS. The result wan marvelous:
my laborers soon became hearty and robust,
and I have had ao further trouble.
They relieve 11a© ensor*cd Mror, clennoo
the Blood from polsonona lanmorn, r.r.d
cause the bowels to act nat si rally, with
out which no one can feel well.
Try this remedy ftelrly, and yon will cals
m henltby Digestion, Vigorous Body. Pure
Blood, String Nerve*, and a Sound Liver.
Price, 35€ents. Office, 85 Murray St., N. Y.
TUTT’S HAIR DYE.
Gray Hair or Whiskers changed to a Glossy
Black by a single application of this Dye. It
imparts a natural color, and acts instantaneously.
Sold by Druggists, or sent by express on receipt
of One Dollar.
Office, 88 Murray Street, New York.
(Dr. T WITT'S SI AX VAT of Valuable'V
Information antt Useful Receipts §
tom be mailed FREE on application. J
HOSTJFI&s
iTitterS
Invalids who are recovering vital stamina,
declare in grateful term) their appreciation
of the merits as a tonic of llostetter’s Stom
ach Bitters. None only does it Impart
strength to the weak, hut also corrects an
irregular acid state of the stomach, makes
the bowels act at proper intervals, gives case
to those who suffer from rheumatic and kid
ney troubles, nnd conquers as well as pre
vents fever and ague.
For sale by all Druggists and Dealers
generally.
FOUTZ’S
HORSE AND CATTLE POWDERS
No Hors, writ die of Ootir. non or Lvxo Fi
vrk, If Foote's Powden are used in time.
Fonte/s Powders wfll cure and prevent 1100 Citoleba.
Foote’s Powders Will prevent Gapes in Fowls.
Polite’s Powders will increase the quantity of milk
and cream twenty per cent., and make the butter firm
and sweet. •
Foutz*. Powder, win core or prevent olmaat rnRY
binA.it to which Horae* and CSttlo nrc subject.
Tobtz's Powders Wu* eiv* Savxefacuoh.
Sold everywhere.
DAVID E. POUTS, Proprietor.
BALTIMOItB.MD.
INDEPENDENT IN POLITIES, AND DEVOTED TO NEWS, LITERATURE, SCIENCE AND GENERAL PROGRESS,
AMERICUS, GEORGIA, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 28, 1883.
YOY/YWY.
SLANDER.
’’JL’was but a breath—
Amt yet the fair, good name was wilted;
And friends once fond grew- cold and stilted.
And lite was worse than death.
One venomed word,
I’hat struck its coward, poisoned blow-,
In craven whispers, hushed and low—
And yet the wide world heard.
’Twas hut one whisper—one—
That, muttered low, for very shame,
The tiling the slanderer dare not name—
And jtt its work was done.
A hint, so slight,
And yet so mighty in its power,
A human soul, in one short hour,
Lies crashed beneath its biiglit!
\\ \ fe
THE LOVERS’ QUARREL.
‘‘Never, while I live,” said Miss
Rashleigh, “never while I live, will I
see your iaceag,ain.”
Mie meant it when she said it, and
as she spoke, she threw her betrothal
ring towards her lover, who had offend
ed her.
It missed him, and rolled down up
on the floor, and over the sill of au
open china-closet —one ol those old
fashioned closets that used to stand on
either side of the mantlepiuce.
She did not notice where it rolled,
he did though; and after she had left
the room, he turned to pick it up. The
ring she had worn would always be
precious to him.
Miss Rashleigli went straight to her
own room, as miserable a girl as ever
lived; and a moment later Grandmoth
er Rashleigh bustled into the drawing
room, pushed the open closet door to,
picked up the talleu magazine, set the
annuals and books ot poetry straight
on the table, pulled down the shades,
arranged the chairs mathematically
against the wall, and bustled otu
again.
••I’ve had these things fifty years,”
she said to herself; “and there’s Cor
nelia and her beau with no more re
spect lor them than if they wpre that
much lumber.”
Then she closed the door behind her,
and went away to her own room up
stairs, where a fine silk patchwork
quilt was in the frame, a surprise ior
said'Coruelia,
Grandma Rashleigh gave every
young person ot the family something
ot her own manufacture on his or her
wedding-dav. „
kite old Buff OolU, <X
dozen times, to Tripheny King, who
was helping her; “1 really think Cor
uelia will have the best thing I’ve
done, aud there’s a bit in it ot every
handsome silk there’s ever been in the
family, and of her father’s and grand
father’s wedding vests.”
“Yes’m;it’sa real memorial quilt,”
said Tripheny. “It takes you mum,
to plan such things.”
The quilt was finished and bound
that afternoon; and Tripheny’s job of
quilting being over, she went home;
but she carried about the village the
news that she “was sure all was over
between Miss Rashleigh and Mr. Spear.
She’d heard Cornelia saying some
thing to her grandmother, and the old
lady was furious.”
“He would never have done that if
ho had cared for me, you know, grand
ma,” Cornelia was saying at that mo
ment.
“Stuff and nonsense! He loves the
ground you walk on!” said the old la
dy. “You’ll never get such another,
Cornelia!”
“I shall never marry at all; hate
men!” Cornelia answered.
And then her grandmother made the
house too hot to hold her, and she
went over to her mother’s, her usual
course when she fell out with grandma.
Three days passed. At the end of
the third, Piety Pratt stepped in at
Mrs. Rashleigh’s—young Mrs. Rash
leigh, as they called her, though ehe
was ncaily fifty, for grandma was old
Mrs. Rashleigh.
“I expect you’ll feel upset when I tell
you the news, Cornelia,” she said—
“Y’ou’ve been too cruel this time—he,
he, he! Orville Spear hasn’t been heard
of since 110 was at yonr house. His
mother says he went over to explain
and makeup, and he never camo back
—he, he! She thought maybe he’d
steppod over to his brother’s, but he
hadn’t—he, he! 1 reckon he’s drowned
himself!”
“I don’t know why the whole town
should talk over my affairs, and every
meddling old maid giggle aboui them!”
cried Cornelia.
Piety jumped to her feet, seized her
parasol, aud turned toward the door.
“ Good morning, Miss Cornelia and
Mrs. Rashleigh,” she said, with a con
temptuous courtesy. “I’ll remember
my manners, if other people forget
theirs. Only there’s other folks as
likely to be old maids as me, and I
fancy it’s Mrs. Spear’s affair now if
anything has happened to her boy!”
Away flounced Miss Pratt.
“ Yon’ve put Piety into a rage, Cor
nelia,” said Mrs. Rashleigh. “That’s
a pity; she has a long tongue.”
But Cornelia was crying.
“Oh, mother, dear,” she sobbed, “it
isn’t true, is it? Orville did feel dread
fully. Won’t yon s.e, mother?”
But at this moment Sally, the little
servant girl from Grandma Rashleigh’s
eaiue flying into the room, without any
more warning than if she had been
shot from a gun.
“The old missus says you are to
eorae over at once, both you ladies!” .
she cried standing before Mrs. Rash-j
ieigh, and repeating her lesson like a
parrot. “There’s something of impor
tance, and you’re needed at wonst.”
“Get your bonnet, Cornelia,” said
her mother. “I’ll jnst put on this
sun-hat. What is it, Sally, do you
know?”
“I know it’s something dreadful,
Missus is almost wild, and there’s lots
of folks there. Something about Mr.
Spear.”
The two ladies said no more, They
hurried away together, and, entering
grandma’s parlor, found there assem
bled more of the members of the Spear
family, and a friend or two besides.
■ Orville had indeed disappeared. Uo
had hever been seen home sinco his
visit to Cornelia; and now the alarmed
relatives were anxious to get all the in
formation they could regarding the in
terview between Orville and Cornelia.
“I had reason to he angry, Mrs.
Spear,” said Cornelia, proudly; “good
reason; and I took off' my ring, and
gave it back, and went out of the room
—That is all I know. I don't know
when he wont and where. I—l
thought he wouldn’t mind so much. I
believed he had stopped caring about
me.”
“He ought to know, at all events,”
said grandma.
“My boy ir dead, I’m sure! I shall
have the pond dragged!” said Mrs.
Spear, amidst her tears, “He left all
his money at home. He wouldn’t
have gone traveling without a change
of clhes. Oh, you wicked girl!”
“1 hope,” cried the eldest Miss
Spear, “that he’ll haunt you!”
“I could kill yon, you hateful
thing!” cried the youngest Miss Spear.
Cornelia had kept up bravely until
now; but when her two friends turned
upon her thus, she gave a little scream,
and fell over on the sofa. She was in
a dead swoon, and the water they
sprinkled in her face did not bring her
to.
Grandma grew frightened.
“I hope it isn’t an attack of heart
disease,” she said. “Poor child! she
looks as if she were dead.”
“Oh, don’t say that!” cried the
mother.
They gathered around Cornelia, and
did all they could for her; and soon
she recovered, and sat up, but all her
pride was gone.
“Oh, dear!—oh, dear!” she sobbed.
“I wish I had died! I wish 1 had
never come to! Oh, Orville! Orville!
what has become of you?”
“Oh! Oh!” moaraad the mother.
“Oh! Oh!” moarned the sisters.
And Cornelia’s head fell back again,
i.iinua, -i m lavender out of the
china-closet,” said gr,i, er
daughter. Quick! it’s on the corner
shelf!”
Mrs. Rashleigh rushed to the closet.
“It won’t open!” she cried, wildly.
“It’s a patent lock,” said grandma;
“locks as it shuts. Here’s the key.”
And Mrs. Rashleigh flew back to
the door, opened it, and uttered a
shriek.
There on the floor, huddled up un
der the shelf, lay poor Orville Spear.
He was white and limp.
Cornelia sat and stared at him, in
the most awful way. She thought
him dead, but the more experienced
matron saw that he was yet living.
Sally was sent post-haste to the
doctor; and, there, in Mrs. Rashleigh’s
drawing-room, he found Cornelia and
Orville lying quite unconscious, like
Romeo and Juliet in the scene at the
tomb, and the rest of the party in a
state of bewilderment and terror, past
description.
At last, however, both were con
scious, and, seated in arm chairs, re
garded each other, while the observers
kept silence, and Mr. Orville Spear ut
tered the first words.
“Of all confounded fools—”
“Who, dear?” asked his mother.
“Me,” said Orville, regardless of
grammar. “Who shut ms in?”
“What were you in the closet for?”
asked grandma with a guilty con
science.
“To pick something up that roiled
there,” said Orville.
“The ring ?” asked Cornelia, frantic
ally.
“Yes, the ring,” said Mr. Spear,
“More fool 1! Someone banged the
door to. I shouted and howled, aud
kicked, and no one heard me.”
“Oh! oh! oh! oh!” shrieked Corne
lia. “I believe you hid there just to
kill mo, for no other purposo than out
of revenge.
“You banged the door on me,” said
Mr. Spear. “A jealous woman will do
anything.”
“1 banged the door, Orville!” said
old Mrs. Rashleigh; “1! You’d left
everything flying. I just pushed it as
I passed; and you ought to bless your
stars that you are alive; for people don’t
go into the drawing room, sometimes
for a fortnight, in this small family.
We use the parlor much more; and I’m
deaf, and so is old Hepsiba, and you
might have died there. Yes, and you’d
havekillefi him, Cornelia,” added the
o!d lady, “throwing his pretty dia
mond ring on the floor.”
"Oh!” moaned Cornelia, “Oh!”
“It wasn’t her fault. I was a cou
foundedfool all through!” cried Or
ville. "I knew that closet had a
spring lock. Ma; don’t blame Corne
lia.”
"I shall always blame myself!”
sighed Cornelia. “Oh, how pale you
are!”
• “And how pale you are, Cornelia!”
sighed Orville. “Did you really care
when you thought I was dead!”
“Ladies” said Grandma Rashleigh,
"now that Orville has had his wiue
and biscuit, and is getting ou,let us go
into the other room, and leave these
two young folks to talk things over
together. She led the way; the others
followed. When the tea-bell rang soon
after, Orville and Cornelia came out
of the drawing room, arm in arm, and
the wedding day was fixed.
Incivility to Guests.
“Say,” warbled an excited individ
ual at the office of a Chicago hotel, “I
want to report one of your oody guard
tor incivility to guests.”
“I’m sorry about that,” replied the
clerk, blandly. “ What is the incivili
ty which you want tocomplain about?”
“ Well, there’s a card tacked on my
room door which says as plain as big
type can make it that any incivility to
guests should be promptly reported at
the office, and there’s also a bell-cord.
I rung the bell a few minutes ago, ami
when the porter came up to see what 1
wanted I’ll be cousvvitched if he didn’t
tell me to go to hell, so I came right
along down to your office. Don’t you
call that incivility to guests?”
“That’s pretty middling uncivil,”
said the clerk. “Porter wasn’t drunk
was he?”
“Drunk!” No, he was as sober as an
undertaker. There he is now, hanging
around the door of the wash room.”
“I’ll speak to him about it,” said
the clerk. “Polonius, what’s the row
between you and No 20? He said you
insulted him.”
“I guess I did,” said the porter sulk
ily, “guess vou would have insulted
Him. He thinks that card on the door
means that he can waltz the whole
house up to his room every minute in
the day just because he’s got a bell-cord
in his room. He commenced his game
on me early this morning before break
fast. First he wanted a cocktail, and 1
carried it up, and hadn’t got half way
down before he rang again and wanted
a match. And then he wanted a morn
ing paper and the register fixed and
the blinds closed, and me to help him
dress, and then a bottle of ginger alt
and another match and a postage
stamp and some note paper and envel
opes, and fresh water and a chunk 01
ice and two clean towels and a piece ol
castile soap, and then he sent mo tom
blocks to a drug store after a tooth
brush and some tannin to put nudei
his arms to keep him from chafing,
and 1 hadn’t more than got back be ton
he sent me ont again after some com
pound cathartic pills, and down to tin
bar for same mineral water, and then
lie changed liis mind and sent me back
to the drug store after seidlitz
powders, and when I brought ’em hi
said he ilidn’t order seidlilz powders
mu a liottle ot oitraie ot magnesia.
Then he went to breakfast and he
hadn’t more than struck liis room agin
before he rang for me, and when I got
tip there he asked me how everything
was getting along down stairs. Then
I sat down on the window sill a 110
blowed myself for I was nearly dead
running up and down to liis room, and
when he see howl was resting mysell
■he got me to shift three big trunks
across the room, and when I started to
go down he said ‘don’t leave me; I’ll
give you one of the new niekles to stay
and read to me till dinner time, and
show me how to climb out on to tin
fire escape,’ and when I had got back
to the office ana winded myself on a big
trunk, 1 heard his bell agin, and went
up and he asked me how I’d trade jack
kuives unsight and unseen, and if i
was a democrat, and if I knew where
he could buy a second-hand side-sad
dle to take home to the old woman anil
asked me to go out among some of the
auction stores and look for one, and
what my name was, and when 1 tola
him he said he know a midwife in Du
buque by that name and wanted to
know if it was my mother. 1 had to
go down to the Rock Island bus, and
he rung me up in less than fifteen sec
onds and wanted to know if my folks
was Methodists or belonging to the
Dnnkards, and if the hotel furnished
smoking tobacco in any of the higher
priced rooms, and then after I had un
loaded the Illinois Central trunks he
rung me right up and asked me if I
ever had the salt rheum, and if so, how
much and did it spread like the hives
or inn in circles 'ike a ring worm, and
if I wouldn’t borrow a razor to cut his
corns corns, and—”
“What was it you said to him?”
broke in the clerk.
“l told him to go to hell,”
“That’s all right. He came straight
to the office, and seeing that I’m head
imp here, sir, and ready to settle with
you, there’s your bill.”
Taking it Easy.
“On the day after my arrival at Vic
toria,” writes a tourist in Spain, “1
went to a shoemaker’s to get some
repairs done to my boots. There was
nobody in the shop; the master was on
the opposite side of the street smoking
his cigarette. His shoulders were cov
ered with a mantle full of holes, and he
looked like a beggar—but a Spanish
beggar, appearing rather proud than
ashamed of his poverty. He came over
to me, and I explained my business.
‘Wait a moment,’ said he, and imme
diately called his wile. ‘How much
money is there in the purse 9 ’ ‘Twelve
pesetas.’ ‘Then I shall not work.’
•But,’ I said, ‘twelve pesetas will not
last forever.’ ‘Who has seen to-mor
row?’ said he, tnrniug his back on
me.”
Farmers and others desiring a gen
teel, lucrative agency business, by
which $5 to S2O a day can be earned,
send address at once, on postal, to H.
C. Williamson & Cos., 195 and 197
Fulton Street, New York. dec29-sm.
BRAINS AND MUSCLE.
Bill Arp on an oltl and Interest
ing Subject.
Things which Brains Cannot Do, and
Wincn Muscle Alone Can Accom
plish—How the Working Man is
Made to Pay Tribute to the Shif
ty Man, and Submit to Being
Fleeced.
Somebody said that “the juice of
liberty was the blood of the brave,” or
words to that effect, and so the juice of
prosperity is the sweat of the laboring
man. I was ruminating over this the
other day as I lojked at a gang of men
digging in an iron mine. Machinery
is a good thing but there are many
things that nothing but the human
hand and the human arm can do. Ma
chines can’t dig ore nor shovel dirt on
a railroad, nor pick cotton, nor split
rails, nor build a fence, nor pull fodder
nor load a wagon. Machines may inak u
brick, but they can’t lay ’em in a wall,
nor tramo a house, nor plaster it, nor
nail the shingles on. There are a thou
sand things that muscle has got to do,
and will always have to do, and the
time will never come when all men can
play the gentleman or live by brains
done. It’s contrary to reason and
scripture. Brains rank mnscle, but
muscle is the most honest. Brains are
tricky and shifty and put on many
airs. Muscle does the work and brains
gets the benefit, and it struts around
like big Ike. There was a railroad
milt net long ago and brains took the
job at sixty thousand dollars a mile and
sub-let it for forty thousand and that
nan sub-let it again for thirty thous
ind, and then it was cut up into sec
tions and let at 28c. a cubic yard, and
■ hen sub-let again at 25c., and the last
man hired laborers to work for a dol
lar a day, and one man would grade six
yards in a day and take pay in goods
tt one hundred per cent profit. So the
work cost actually about ten cents a
yard. Sweat and muscle got ten cents
; und brains about 50 and thats about
the way with most of the work that
larmers and mechanics and laboring
'iien do. If the tariff protects the man
ufacturer he puts the protection in his
pocket and hires his labor at the same
old price. It is protection to capital
mly. The poor are kept poor and the
ioh get richer, and that is the reason
; why labor is so unpopular. It don’t
pay. Our young men are ambitious.
They come homo from school and from
•ollege and begin to look round for a
living, and they see that muscle don’t
Dfly ♦ Vov Oiifjin In rlratv rn
brains. They go to trading and schem
ing or hunting for an office o- clerking
in a store or bossing some little job, or
they study law or medicine, or haul
round sewing machines, bntthey won’t
work. A smart, shifty man can make
more in one day at trading than in six
months at hard work, but when he has
lone it he has not added one dollar to
the value of anything. Ho has bene
litted nobody but. himself. What he
nas made somebody has lost, and after
all the profits of trading aud speculat
ing generally come out of the laboring
man—the producer and manufacturer,
sweat and toil bear the burdens and like
the fabled Atlas carry the world on
their shoulders. Men get rich and
powerful trading in stocks and bonds
and railroads and cornering in wheat
and pork and they splurge around
awhile, but sooner or later they have to
let go and I reckon they have mighty
little comfort on their last bed when
they think how little they have done
for humanity. Well, some of’em about
<hat time do give off a lot of money to
colleges and asylums and churches and
expect to get credit for it up yonder on
St. Peter’s books, but they won’t. It
is a sort of conscience money and come
too late—a little too late—they kept
it to the last aud squeezed it tight and
would have kept it longer if they could
t'au’t balance St. Peter’s books that
way. Rather than work, the majority
of mankind would steal if it wasn’t
against the law, and they come mighty
nigh doing it any how. There are ten
thousand ways to get another man’s
money without robbing him according
to law. I was looking over the adver
tisements of patent medicines in a north
ern paper and noted the different ways
in which they fooled the suffering peo
ple and get their money. It is reduced
down to a regular science. Most of
’em slip up on you with decent lying,
but I saw one yesterday which played
it bolder and bigger than all the rest.
It said—
“EARS FOR THE MILLION.
Foo Choo’s Balsam of Sharks’ Oil
has never failed in a single instance to
cure deafness. This Oil is extracted
from the White Shark of the Yellow
sea and known as Charcharodon Ron
deleth. Its cures are so miraculous
that the Chinese Emperor ordered all
his deaf subjects to use it, and there
has not been a single case of deafness
among 400,000,000 of Chinamen for
300 year. Price one dollar a bottle.
Now the world is full of fools and
lots of ’em will send for that stuff, I
think I see the heathen Chinee catching
them sharks in the Yellow sea. Every
drug store in the land is crammed with
just such frauds, and every newspaper
gives ’em a lelthanded indorsement by
advertising ’em. Our law makers ought
to pass a law forbidding it uuless they
were indorsed by the medical faculty of
the State. Guano and kerosene has to
go through the crucible and be tested,
but. these frauds and poisons go free and
take millions away from ona credulous
people. All these tricks are to dodge
work and get a living without earning
it. Gambling is forbidden by law, bnt
| FOUR DOLLARS PER ANNUM.
gambling is a respectable and innocent
business compared with it, for gamblers
just swap for one another’s money and
keep it changing atound. Sometimes
brains get low down and anxious, and
goes to buying lottery tickets as a last
resort. I can always tell how bad off
a poor fellow is wbeu I see him ivest
ing in lottery tickets. He is hard up
sure. He wants something for nothing
mighty bad, and he gets nothing for
something. A long time ago I bonght
a quarter ticket for two dollars and a
half. It was numbered 2401 and I saw
it could be divided by seven t hree times,
even, and seven was a mystic number,
and so I thought I bad the deadwood
on the lottery but it jnst went along all
the same and gobbled up my money.
Card players say there is luck under
a nine aud over a deuce, but to my
opiuion there is no lucky number to a
man who does not give value received
for what he gets. Brains are sly and
restless, and have lots of secrets, bnt
muscle is open aud candid and content
wiih little. Tne workingman is sat
isfied with the necessaries and reason
able comforts of life, but brains are
never satisfied. The more they get tie
more they want, and Cobe says there
are some men who, if they owned the
whole world, would want a tater patch
outside. But brains' and muscle put
together make a good team Educated
labor makes the best farmers and the
best mechanics. Educate a young man
for his trade or calling. There ought
to be a school for farmers, and one for
architects, aud one tor engineers, and
one for geology and mineralogy, and
one for book keeping and so forth, and
the boy oughtent to be crammed with
too much Greek and Latin and rhetoric
and logic and astronomy before he be
gins his business education. He ought
to pick out his calling and bend his
energies in that direction. It was all
very well before the war to give our
aristocratic young gentleman ari accom
plished education, but business is busi
ness and now the average boy must go
to work. If he is to be a farmer he
don’t want more than about a peck of
belle letter and sylogism and hvperbols
and calculus and Romulus and Remus
and charybdis and the like, but he
wants a bushel of lime and phosphate
and acid and alkali and sand and
gravel and clay and subsoil
and drains and implements and such
like, and he wants plenty of mnscle to
go along with it. Brains and muscle
mixed make the best men 1 know and
the most useful to the State.
Bill Anr.
Educating Elephants.
The following little incident is rela
ted as illustrating to what a remarka
ble extent the reasoning power of the
elephant may be bbonght ont, as well
showing the control experienced ani
mal trainers have over these, large
brutes. A medium sized Asiatic male
elephant with the I’. T. Barnum and
London shows, which opens in Madi
son Square Garden, has been taught to
perform the following: Dressed as a
German with a cap perched on its
head he is brought into the ring and
mounting a strong barrel he rolls it
backward and forward with his four,
feet. He then takes a chair, sits on it
before the table, upon which is placed
a bell, rings the bell, orders dinner, eats
it, drinks out of a bottle, wipes his
mouth with a big napkin, fans himself
with a palm leal fan, stands on his
hind legs, his fore legs, on his head,
lies down, sits down upon the ground,
rolls over, gets up, holds his trainer on
his head, backward, side
ways, sce-sawj on a plank, plays an
organ, walks on bottles arranged in a.
row, carries different articles, takes off
his clothes with his trunk, rolls a tnb
with his nose, sets it on end, sets on
it, and many other funny things,
sing his performance by pushing his
trainer out of the ring. All this is
done without a word being spoken to
him. All of the twenty-nine elephants
with this show are trained to perform
feats, some of which show the most re
markable powers of memory and in
telligence in these big brutes.— K. T.
Times.
Sunday Afternoon.
After the Sunday dinner what ?
Well, it all “depends.”
A person whose brain is wearied with
intellectual work during the week, or
whose nervous system is exposed to the
strain of business or professional life,
ought to sleep within an hour or two of
his Sunday dinner, if he can. It is
surprising how much like a seven-day
clock the brain will work, if the habit
of a Sunday nap be once formed. Nature
will take advantage of it as regularly
and gratelully as she does of the nightly
sleep, and do her best to make up lost
time.
People, on the other hand, whose
weekly toil is chiefly physical, may well
give their minds activity while their
body is resting. Two sermons and three
or four hours of solid reading are a real
rest to some on Sunday, while to others
such a course amounts to a positive
Sunday-breakiug.
Sunday is a day of rest, not of work,
religious or otherwise. It is a day of
repose, not of oxhaustion. But what
the dogmatists on one side, and the
illiberalon the other are apt to overlook,
is the tact that all men do not rest alike
any mon than they labor alike', and
what may help to save one may aid in
killing another. —Standard of the
Crott.
At a recent wedding in Richmond
the bride ate so much terrapin soap
that tbe wedding tour bad to be ahan-
NO. 53.