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THE SEMI-WEEKLY SUMTER REPUBLICAN.
ENTAHUSHED IN 1854,
By CHAS. W. HANCOCK,
VOL. 18.
The Sumter Republican.
Semi-Weekly, One Tear - - - ft 00
IVeely, One Year - - - - - 2.00
ST Payable in Advance M
All advertisements eminating from public
flices will be charged for in accordance with
an act passed by the late General Assembly
of Georgia—7s cents per hundred words for
eacli of the first four insertions, and 33 cents
for each subsequent insertion. Fractional
parts of one hundred are considered one
hundred words; each figure and initial, with
date and signature, is counted as a word.
The cash must accompany the copy of each
advertisement, unless different arrange
ments have been made.
Advertising' Rates.
One Square first insertion, - - - -SI.OO
Each subsequent insertion, - - - - 50
JSUTen Lines of Minion, type solid con
stitute a square.
All advertisements not contracted for will
be charged above rates.
Advertisements not specifying the length
of time for which they are to be inserted
will be continued until ordered out and
charged for accordingly.
Advertisements tooccupy fixed places will
be charged 25 per cent, above regular rates
Notices in local column inserted for ten
cen* "hr line each insertion.
Charles F. Crisp,
•attorney at Eaw,
AMERICUS, GA.
declGtf
B. P. HOLLIS
•ittomey at L.aw.
AMERICUS, GA.
Office, Forsyth Street, in National Bank
building. dec2otf
E. G. SIMMONS,
Attorney at Eawi
AMERICUS GA.,
Office in Hawkins’ building, south side of
Lamar Street, in the old office of Fort &
-.Simmons. janGtf
W. H McGRORY,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Ellaville, Ga.
Collections a specialty. Charges reason
able ana vone unless collections are made.
apr.J-wly
J. A. AINSLEY,
ATTORNEY AT LAW
AM) SOLICITOR IN EQUITY,
Office on Public Square, Over Gyles’
Clothing Store, Americus, Ga.
After a brief respite 1 return again to the
practice of law. As in the past it will be
my earnest purpose to represent my clients
faithfully and look to their interests. The
commercial practice will receive close atten
tion and remittances promptly made. The
Equity practice, and cases involving titles of
land and real estate are my favorites. Will
practice in the Courts of South west Georgia,
the Supreme Court and the United States
Courts. Thankful to my friends for their
patronage. Fees moderate. novlltf
card 7
I offer my professional services again to the
good people of Americus. After thirty years’
of medical service, I have found it difficult
to withdraw entirely. Office next door to
I Dr. Eldridge’s drugstore, on the Square
jan!7tf U. C. BLACK, M. D.
M.H. O’DANIEL. M.D
Americum, tia.
Office and Residence, No. 21 Barlow
House.
All calls promptly attended, day or night,
spalls left at Eldridge’s Drug Store.
feb7-3m
Dr. D. P. HOLLOWAY,
DentisT,
Americus. - - - Georgia
Treatssuccessfully all diseasesof the Den
tal organs. Fills teeth by the improved
method, and inserts artificial teeth on the
best material known to the profession.
over Davenport and Son’s
Drug Store. marllt
Commercial Hotel,
G. M HAY, Proprietor.
This popular House is quite new and
handsomely furnished with new furniture,
bedding and all other articles. It is in the
centre of the business portion of the city,
convenient to depot, the banks, warehouses,
&c., and enjoys a fine reputation, second to
none, among its permanent and transient
'guests, on account of the excellence of its
cuisine.
Table Boarders Accommodated on
Reasonable Terms.
may9-tf G. M. HAY, Proprietor.
Commercial Bar,
This well-established house will be kept
in the same first-class style that has always
characterized it. The
Choicest Liquor and Cigars,
Milwaukee, Budweiser and Aurora Beer,
constantly on hand, and all the best brands
of fine Brandies, Wines. &c. Good Billiard
Tables for the accommodation of customers.
may9tf JOHN W. COTNEY, Clerk.
City Marshal Sales for June.
Will be sold before the City Council Cham
ber door, in the city of Americus, on the
first Tuesday in June next, the following
property, to-wit:
One house and lot in the city of Americus,
3a., levied on as the property of Dock Mc-
Coy, to satisfy two city tax fi fas In favor
)f the Mayor and City Council vs. Dock
McCoy, for his city tax for the years 1881
ind 1882, the fi fa for 1881 levied on and
lold for the use and benefit of Charles Cat
edge, it being transferred to him. I.ot
jounded as follows: East by Tom Edwards,
lorth by Eveline James, south by Forsyth
itreet, west by lot of Henry Jones. Con
ains 'A acre, more or less. May 2d, 1883.
A. P. LINGO,
may4-4w City Marshal.
Cattail Millet, Cattail Millet,
Pearl Millet, Pearl Millet, at
Dr. Eldridge’s Drug Store.
DARBYS
PROPHYLACTIC
FLUID.
A. Household Article for Universal
Family Use.
For Scarlet and
I EradintPS ■ Typhoid Fevers,
■ ihraaicaies gj Diphtheria, sau-
MALARIA. B vatiwn ’ Ulcerated
g Sore Throat, Small
MHHHHBH Fox, Measles, and
all Contagious Diseases. Persons waiting on
the Sick should use it freely. Scarlet Fever has
never been known to spread where the Fluid was
used. Yellow Fever has been cured with it after
black vomit had taken place. Th* worst
cases of Diphtheria yield to it.
Fevered and Sick Per- SMALL-POX
sons refreshed and and
Bed Sores prevent- PITTING of Small
ed by bathing with I> ox PREVENTED
Darbys Fluid. . . . r
. Impure Air made A member of my fern
harmless and purified. Jv i?' as ta i :en
For Sore Throat it is a Small-pox. I used tire
sure cure rluid; the patient was
Contagion destroyed. not delirious, was not
Eor Frosted Foot, and "'as about
Chilblains, Piles, ‘h= house again In three
Chitlings, etc. an . d ™
Rheumatism cured. iac 11 ~ h U. ARK “
Soft White Complex- INSOX > Philadelphia.
ions secured by its use.
Ship Fever prevented. 9
To purify the Kreatli, g§ §3
Cleanse the Teeth. j§ gg
it can't be surpassed. Ha* . . U
Catarrh relieved and 0 H
Erysipelas cured. BSHEHHBBHH
Boor , l’nrl.v Ve ?ia" S, “ ntly - Thc Physicians here
nt£d - use Darbys Fluid very
Iysentery cuicd. successfully in tlietrcat
hea,ed ment of Diphtheria.
Scurvy cured. A. Stollenwerck,
b “-’ Ala-
Stings, etc. Tetter dried up.
1 used the Fluid during Cholera prevented,
our present affliction with Ulcers purified and
Scarlet Fever with de- healed,
cided advantage. It is In cases of Death it
indispensable to the sick- should be used about
room.—Wm. F. Sand- the corpse —it will
ford, Eyrie Ala. unpleas-
The eminent Pliy-
I Scarlet Fever I:
1 Cured, i , convinced Prof. Darbys
S3 K£ Prophylactic Fluid is a
' valuable disinfectant."
Vanderbilt University, Nashville, Tenn.
1 testify to tiie most excellent qualities of Prof
Darbys Prophylactic Fluid. Asa disinfectant and
detergent it is both theoretically and practically
superior to any preparation with which I am ac
quainted.—N. T. Lui-ton, Prof. Chemistry.
Darbys Fluid is Itoeommcnclecl by
Hon. AnuXAritutß 11. Stephitns, of Georgia-
Rev. Cjiar. F. Deems, D.D„ Church of {he
Strangers, N. Y.;
Jos. LeConte, Columbia, Prof.,University S C
Rev. A. J. Rattle, Prof., Mercer University: ‘
Rev. Geo. I. PtEitcn, Bishop M. E. Church.
INDISPENSABLE TO EVERY HOME.
Perfectly harmless. Used internally or
externally for Man or Beast.
The Fluid has been Thoroughly tested, and we
have abundant evidence that it has done everything
here claimed. For fuller information get of you"
Druggist a pamphlet or send to the proprietors,
.J, 11. /Mil.IN * CO..
Manufacturing (. h.rusts, PHILADELPHIA.
TUTPS
PILLS
A DISORDERED LIVER
IS THE BANE
of the present generation. It is for the
Cure of this disease and its attendants.
BICK-HE APACHE, BILIOUSNESS. ~DYS-
IfrEPBIA, CONSTIPATION, FILESTetc.. that
fPTT’S PILLS have gained a world-wide;
reputation. Mo Remedy has ever been
discovered that acts eo gently on tho
digestive organs, giving them vigorto as
similate food. Aa a natural result, tho
MervouH Syßtem is Braced, tiro Muscles
are Developed, and the Body Bobust.
OhiUs ancl Porer.
E. RIVAL., a Planter at Bayou Sara, La., aaya *
My plantation Is In a malarial district. For
several years I could not make half a crop on
account of bilious diseases and chills. I was
nearly discouraged when I began tho use of
TUTT’S PILLS. Tho result wa3 marvelous:
my laborers soon became hearty and robust,
and I have bad no further trouble.
They relieve tho engororerf Liver, clemr.se
the Bioml from polsonouH humors, and
cause the bowels to act naturally, with
out which no one can feel well.
Try this remedy fairly, and yon will tain
a healthy Digestion, Vigorous Body, Pure
Blood, Strong Nerves, and a Sound Liver.
Price, 25Cents. Office, 35 Murray St., N. Y.
HITT’S HAIR DYE.
Gray Hair or Whiskers changed to a Glossy
Black by a single application of this Dye. It
Imparts a natural color, and acts instantaneously.
Sold by Druggists, or sent by express on receipt
of One Dollar.
Office, 35 Murray Street, New York.
(Dr. TIJTT’S MAKUAIj of ValuableV
Information and Useful Jftecelpta I
tciU be mailed FREE on application. *
6ittK s
There has never been an instance in which
this sterling invigorant and anti-febrile
medicine has failed to ward off the com
plaint, when taken duly as a protection
against malaria. Hundreds of physicians
have abandoned all the officinal specifics,
ami now prescribe this harmless vegetable
tonic for chills and fever, as well as dpspep
sia and nervous affections. Hostetter’s Bit
ters is the specific you need.
For sale by all Druggists and Dealers
generally.
FOUTZ’S
HORSE AND CATTLE POWDERS
No Hokbk will die of Colic, Bots or Lung Fk
ntß, if Foutz’s Powders nre used in time.
Foutz’s Powders will euro and prevent HooCno lira.
Foutz’s Powders will prevent Gapks in Fowls.
Fbutz’s Powders will increase the quantity of milk
nd cream twenty per cent., and make tho butter firm
and sweet.
Foutz’s Powders will cure or prevent almost story-
Diskask to which Homes and Cattle are subject.
Foutz’s Powderb will giyk Satisfaction.
Sold everywhere.
DAVID E. FOT7T2, Proprietor..
BALTIMORE, UR.
INDEPENDENT IN POLITICS, AND DEVOTED TO NEWS, LITERATURE, SCIENCE AND GENERAL PROGRESS.
AMERICUS, GEORGIA, WEDNESDAY, MAY 16, 1883.
YOY.YVOt.
AN UNSATISFACTORY MEETING*
A little man, in walking down the dusty
road one day,
Met a little woman traveling afoot the other
way;
And, laying down his big valise, ho bowed
in handsome style,
While she returned his greetings with a
courtesy and a smile.
“Can you inform me where, ma’am, I can
find a wife?” said he.
“’Twas on my tongue to ask about a hus
band, sir,” said she.
“I’m weary of my single state, and many
miles I’ve gone
For one who’ll cook and wash for me, ar.d
sew my buttons on;
Who’ll wait on me when I am well and tend
me when I’m ill,
And never givo me cause to grumble at a
foolish bill.
Do you know of any one, ma’am, you can
recommend?” said he.
“I’m looking for precisely such a husband,
sir,” said she.
He puckered up his lips and whispered
thoughtfully and low—
Then slowly reached for his valise, regret
fully to go;
While with a pensive little smile she gazed
up at the sky
And watched the fleecy cloudlets as they
lazily passed by.
“ ’Tis plain I’m not tho husband you’re
after, ma’am 1” said lie.
’Tis evident I’m not the wife you’re seek
ing. sir 1” said she.
[Malcolm Douglas in St. Nicholas.
Alexander H. Stephens.
Adding- to Confederate History-
Defense of Southern Lead
ers-Wliat “Might Have
Been ” lnteresting
Iteininiscencies.
Correspondence New York Herald.
Talleyrand it was, I believe, who
said words were invented to conceal
tiie meaning of what is said. In your
lecent obituary sketch of Georgia’s
late lamented and illustrious Governor
you said: “Mr. Davis always appear
ed to look upon his associate (Mr. Ste
phens) with ‘suspicion.’ ” “Suspi
cion” is generally born of tiie illicit
intercourse of weak minds with strong
prejudices, when inspired by either
malice or jealousy. Euiightened con
sciences and generous natures deal only
in convictions, and it could amount to
nothing less than cruelty to impute to
Mr. Davis a littleness of which no
other living man was ever guilty or
capable, and of which he could not be
without forfeiting universal private re
spect and public confidence. He was
incapable of the pitiful meanness of
harboring, much less expressing, direct
ly or indirectly, “suspicion” against
the conduct or character of so illustri
ous a personage as “his associate” was
universally regarded to be. Of this
the evidence is conclusive in the simple
fact that lie selected Mr. Stephens as
late as February, 1865, to represent the
Confederate Government at the memo
rable Hampton Roads conference, on
which occasion it was but to be expect
ed that each government would select,
not only her most accomplished diplo
mats, but her most incorruptible pa
triots, to guard her interests in the con
duct of the anticipated negotiation.
This Mr. Davis did, not only on his
own motion, but against the protests
of Mr. Stephens, who then and there
declared his conviction that Mr. Davis
himself should on that occasion repre
sent the Confederate Government. Un
deniably true it is, I admit, that they
did entertain antipodal views upon
questions of State policy of vital im
portance. Mr. Davis was friendly
while Mr. Stephens was opposed to
both martial law and conscription.
Then, again, responsive to the serenade
Mr. Stephens received ou the evening of
the day he was elected Vice-President
by the “Provisional Congress,” he
made a speech in which he struck the
keynote to the Confederacy’s success,
in the simple suggestion of the pur
chase of every lock of cotton in the
South, and the immediate investment
of the proceeds of its re-sale in Europe
in enough of iron-clad war steamers to
keep Southern ports open. Had Mr.
Davis indorsed this suggestion earnest
ly it would have been promptly adopt
ed. He practically rejected it. What
was the result ? First, the blockade—
ergo, the depreciation of Confederate
currency, the inflation of the value of
the necessaries of life, suffering at
home, demoralization in Confederate
camps, open desertion from the ranks,
until General Lee had but 8,000 mus
kets in line to surrender at Appomat
tox, while his muster rolls exhibited
the fact that there were absent without
leave 180,000 men who had gone home
to club from their doors the prowling
wolf. This we know is what did hap
pen. Now, suppose we look at what
might have happened had Mr. Ste
phens’ advice been adopted. There
could have been no blockade, and the
white wings of foreign merchantmen
hunting for cotton would have hovered
in Southern bays. Foreign commer
cial intmeonrse is always regarded as
a necessity when it promises to be prof
itable, and intercourse must have been
followed by recognition, and above all,
the Confederacy would have been ad
ministered upon a specie basis; Con
federate bonds would have commanded
a premium abroad, and flour could have
been bought at home for $5, when it
did sell for $2,500 per barrel in tiie
same currency soldiers received for
quenching the thirst of the earth with
their blood,, only sll per month. Con
fidence would have then reigned in the
Confederate ranks, because comfort
would have reigned in their homes.
No children then wonld have etied for.
bread, nor would the wounded in hos
pitals or the captives in prisons have
moaned for medicines. The Northern
man cannot comprehend, he says, how
Mr. Stephens could consistently first
oppose and then accept secession. This,
however, should excite no surprise, as
in doing so he immolated policy upon
the altar of principle, whereas Radicals
always sacrifice principles upon the
altar of policy. But he was controlled
by one consideration in accepting seces
sion which, even had he not believed
in tiie right of secession, was wise
enough in its policy to justify his con
duct. The North had said to the South
through orators, pulpits and presses,
“Go in peace,” and Mr. Greeley had
not only advocated their right to do so,
but intimated that if the North could
believe that a majority of the Southern
people wanted to go they would be
permitted to do s.o. Air. Stephens
never for one moment entertained a
“suspicion that they did not mean what
they said. Then to prevent bloodshed
—to avert a war and insure permanent
friendly relations based upon treaties
for mutual protection between “the
rival republics”—he did surrender his
theoiies of policy to espouse his prin
ciples of right, and I challenge both
biography and history to produce an
other instance in which as noble a man
ever did another as noble a deed for as
noble a purpose. But lie has gone to
his final account. He was one of the
few great men whose mental majesty
and moral grandeur increased the more
the nearer you approached him. All
the virtues that ennobled and none of
the vices that degrade humanity, were
his. How could any man, not deter
mined to be unjust, harbor against him
a “suspicion?” Respectfully,
Andrew 11. H. Dawson.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT.
Nothing is troublesome that we do
willingly.
If you are in debt, somebody owns
part of yon.
Trust not the man who promises
with an oath.
Always look on the blight side of
everything.
The sweetest rose grows upon the
sharpest thorns.
A true man will not swerve from the
path of duty.
Bustle is not industry, nor is impu
dence courage.
Desperate diseases must have desper
ate remedies.
Nothing is so reasonable and cheap
as good manners.
The first and worst of all faults is
to cheat one’s self.
Search others for their virtues, and
thyself vices.
Experience is tiie name men give to
their follies or their sorrows.
There is no sweeter repose than that
which is purchased by labor.
Every man has his gift, and the
fools go to him who can use them.
Grieve not that men know not you,
grieve that you know not men.
True independence has no difficulty
in accepting necessary kindness.
We usually learn to wait only when
we have no longer anything to wait
for.
Tiie company in which you will im
prove most will be least expensive to
you.
There is more folly involved in sus
pecting every one than in trusting ev
ery one.
There are many vices which do not
deprive us of friends; there are many
virtues which prevent our having any.
A man’s first care should he to
avoid the reproaches of his own heart;
his next to escape the censures of the
world.
Never take more in hand than you
can well accomplish, or you will break'
up, and the work will be broken up
with you.
Certainly man is of kin to the breath
of his body, and if he be not of kin to
God by his spirit, he is a base and ig
noble creature.
When you say that a man is dogma
tic you should always emphasize the
second syllable, though your meaning
is contained in the first.
Love, and the passions which it ex
cites, are almost always a subject of
ridicule for those who do not inspire it
or experience it.
The difference between what is call
ed in this world happiness or unhappi
ness is so little thatiiwe ought never to
envy or pity anybody.
The impatient man, however bril
liant, seldom wins, because he destroys
his own chances of success by not wait
ing for the harvest.
Firmness is as different from its
mean substitute—obstinacy, as rash
ness, is from true courage, prudery
from virtue, and bigotry from religion.
A beautiful godly life, a noble man
hood, filled full of fidelities and hero
isms, is itself tho very best statement
and the very best detense of Chris
tianity.
When we disagree with another man
as to the details of an event, there is a
great deal of difference between history
and mystery or his story and my btory.
A man is always a fool. If he be
young, the world says when he is older
he will know more; if he be older, it
says he is old enough to know Detter;
and when he is old, it says there is no
i kind of an idiot equal to an old fool.
A Colonel ami a Doctor Amuse a
Fishing Party.
Arkansaw Traveller.
Several nights ago Colonel Leghorn
went fishing in company with several
lawyers and a practical joking physi
cian. The colonel is very fond of fish
ing, especially at night, when bull
heads hunger. Shortly after the party
arrived at the creek, rain began to fall,
and for shelter, the sportsmen stationed
themselves under a shelving rock. They
sat for a long time without a nibble,
when one of the lawyers said:
“Oh, let’s go home. What’s the
use of sitting here all night.”
“Hold on,” replied the colonel “I
think I have a nibble. Just wait.”
“Are you ready to go, colonel?” ask
ed the lawyer about half an hour later.
“No, I think I had a bite. Let me
see if mv bait’s all right,” and he lift
ed his pole, only to find that His hook
was hanging over head, having never
touched the water. This made him
very angry and he swore by all the fish
and creeks in the world that he would
catch something or hurt somebody in
the attempt. He threw his hook far
out into the water and sat down to,
wait for the excitement incident upon
a nibble. A log projected over the
water not far from where the colonel’s
hock awaited attack, and the doctor
delivering a whispered explanation to
the other members of the luckless par
ty, crawled out on the log. The night
was very dark, and the colonel could
not discover that a cruel joke was
about to be perpetrated on him.
“I have heard it said that there are
fish in this place as long as a man,”
said a lawyer.
“Yes and they are the most eccentric
fish alive,” someone replied. “They
almost pull a man into the water and
it takes an expert to handle them. It
is said that they begin to bite sudden
ly and seize a hook as fast as a man
can throw in.”
The man on the log reached out and
took hold of the colonel’s line.
“I should like to see thecolonel hang
one of those whales,” said a lawyer.
The doctor on the log gave the col
onel’s line a vigorous pull.
“Gee whiliken Dan!” exclaimed the
colonel, jerking up his pole and send
ing his hook whizzing through the air.
“By George, I hung one as big as a
mule!”
“Let’s go home, colonel.”
“Home the deuce!” indignantly ex
claimed tho fisherman, arranging his
bait and spitting on his hook. “Talk
to a man about going home when he’s
having such luck.
The colonel threw out his line again,
and waited only a minute, when the
man on the log seized the line and
jerked the pole from the colonel’s
hands.
“Great Lord!” he exclaimed grab
bingafter the rod. “Great Ca>sa,”
and in attempting to recover his tac
kle, he fell into the creek with a loud
splash. He scrambled out, with diffi
culty, but he had recovered his rod. “I
never saw anything like it,” he de
clared.
“Ready to go now colonel?”
“Ready to go! You fellows must
think that I’ve lost my senses. Leave
here when I can pull out fish by the
cartload? Not much.” He threw out
again. The doctor took hold of the
line and pulled, but the colonel jerked
so quickly and with such vigor that
the line slipped through the doctor’s
hand, burying the hook in his thumb.
“Oh, I’ve got him this time. Oh,
I’ve got him!”
“Hold on there!” yelled the doctor.
“Hold on. you d—d fool; its me!”
“The devil you say!” vociferated
thecolonel, “You all this time, eh!
Got a sucker have I? Come in!” and
he pulled the line. |*The doctor could
not take hold of the line with his other
hand, for he needed it in keeping his
position secure.
“For the Lord’s sake, let up!” yell
ed the doctor, “you are giving me the
lockjaw.”
“Come in! Come to taw!” exclaim
ed the colonel. “Biggest fish I ever
caught, and I’ve got to play him. Odd
zoo!”
The doctor prayed. “For the Lord’s
sake, let up,” he supplicated.
“Odd zoo, I’m playing him.”
The lawyers, having enjoyed the
joke and its amusing turn, prevailed
upon the colonel to show some little
mercy.
“No, gentlemen,” he replied. “That
fish has been taking my bait for the
last hour and now I’m going to enjoy
myself with him.”
Finally one of the lawyers cut the
line. The doctor made a rush for the
colonel, but slipped from the log into
the creek. The colonel turned and
ran away with a whoop. It is thought
that when tho two gentlemen again
meet another Arkansaw tragedy will
be enacted.
To preserve ourselves happy, it is
not enough that we have external sour
cesof comfort; we must keep open the
well-springs of contentment and peace
within. *
Given Up by Doctors.
“Is it possible that Mr, Godfrey is
up and at work, and cured! by so sim
ple a remedy?”
“I assure you it is true that he is
entirely cured, and with nothing but
Hop Bitters; and only ten days ago
his doctors gave him up and said he
must die!”
“ Well-a-day! That’s remarkable!
I will go this day and get some for
my poor George—l know hops are
good.”
FISH BAITS.
It gives a New York man an awful
start to observe a clipping from the
Chinese newspaper, which has been
lying on his table by some mischievous
friend. His first thought, of course, is
that it is a wash bill.— Lowell Citizen.
Mr. S wineburne lias written a poem
on the death of Richard Wagner. The
amount of damages the great compos
er’s heirs will sue for is not stated; but
it is believed that it will not be less
than $1,000,000, anyhow.—Norris
town Herald.
A scientific fills nearly half a column
in an exchange in trying to explain why
a man can’t fly. This is useless waste
of space. It has been practically dem
onstrated again and again that a man
can fly if he will give himself a good
start from something high, but he has
ever found it difficult to light grace
fully.—Middleton Transcript.
Those who write for sample copies
ot the Transcript please enclose a
postage stamp, not for publication, but
as an evidence that they don’t take us
for a bald-headed philanthropist, with
a gold headed cane and an income $70,-
000 a year, who is printing paper for
amusement and paying the postage on
it for fun.— Middleton Transcript.
A pacent medicine manufacturer died
in New York last week. Before he
died his friends asked him how he
would like to be buried. He had just
strength left to say, “Insert top of col
umn next to reading matter 25 times.
Electro sent by mail,” and then he
closed his eyes and passed away where
there are no omissions nor wrong in
sertions.—SiJ tings.
This is the season of straws. Some
men take them in Spring hats and oth
ers in mint julips. It’s just matter of
taste. — Evansville Argus.
An Ohio paper come with a glaring
headline “Can the people be trusted?”
Maybe they can in Ohio; we never lived
there, hut in this neighborhood they
are different. We only judge from the
fact that when we drop in at our
butchers and get a steak, and tell him
that we left our pocket-book at home
hut will come over in a few minutes
and settle, ho always lays the steak
away hack on the counter and puts a
heavy weight on it, and tells us he’ll
just take care of it for us till we go and
get the pocket-book.— Evansville Ar
gus.
“I noticed one thing about this
hotel,” said one drummer to another
as a pair were seated at dinner, “the
people here understand the art of bread
making.” “So they do,” was the re
sponse, “but they can’t help it, you
see; it’s a inn-bread.” Yonkers
Gazette.
“A Nebraska man committed suicide
because he owed a debt of 75 cents.”
It is presumed that he became discour
aged of his failure to run the score up
to a thousand dollars or so, and con
cluded that life was not worth living.
—Norristown Herald.
Nothing so strongly* tests a man’s
varacity than to be summoned to the
doov to be comforted with the question,
“Are you the head of the house?”—
Yonkers Statesman.
An lowa woman, the other day, un
dertook to drive a tack, and not only
knocked her thumb as flat as a pan
cake, but broke her seventy-dollar mir
ror behind her.— Somerville Journal.
A timid Newport old lady objected
to traveling to the west on the “Bee
Line” to see her daughter, for the rea
son that she teared the bees might
sting her.— Newport, Kg., Journal.
When the minister announces, “The
collection will not be taken up,” every
Invincible in the congregation instinct
ively rises in his seat and turns, hat in
hand, to his nearest neighbor.— Post-
Express.
Another survivor of Balaklava is
dead in England. Thus they are fall
ing, the “noble six hundred,” by the
ruthless hand of Time. By the end of
this century, probably there will not
be more than nine hundred of them
left . —Middletown Transcrip t.
It is a man who will pass a counter
feit quarter on a deacon, for it is sure
to drop into the collection box and
make some benighted heathen forget
that he has been converted when he
finds it won’t buy him two straight
drinks. —Fall River Advance.
A full set of ivory poker checks were
dug up from the ruins of Pompeii the
other day, but the eminent servants
still hesitate to pronounce upon the
high state of civilization attributed to
these people until they find the table
with a hole in the top. —Bedford Sun
day Mail .
When you see a man walking along
the public thorougfares, with bowed
head, apparently “buried in thought”
you can seize him up as a humorist.
Any man who is always buried in
thought never has any grave feelings.
— Pretzel’s Weekly.
Be’s you engaged,” said an Irish
man as he entered a lawyer’s office.”
“Yes,” said the lawyer, “but I’ll be
through in a minute. I’m only draw
ing up a conveyance.”
“Then you’re a horse, are you?”—
Petzel’s Weekly.
Many ladies admire gray hair—on
some other person. But few care to
try its effect on their own charms.
Nor need they, since Ayor’s Hair
Vigor prevents the hair from turning
gray, and restores gray hair to its
original color. It cleanses the scalp,
prevents the formation of dandruff,
and wonderfally stimulates the
* growth of the hair.
FOUR DOLLARS PER ANNUM.
NO. 67.
MeetMe By Moonlight
ALONE!
'M ih Ili Ilf
Much pleasanter looking people will he
found at
JOHN R. SHAW’S,
Who will assist you in making your selec
tions from one of the
UniDGESTUTEDSnS
To he found in the city,
OF
Spring and Summer
Dry Goods
NOTIONS,
FANCY GOODS,
PARASOLS,
UJIIBREEEA
Ladies’ Hats,
PERFUMERY,
Toilet Soaps,
TRUN-KS,
CLOTHING,
GEMS’ FIIMiISHISG GOODS,
Boots and Shoes,
Straw, Wool and
Fur Hats,
At prices
Lower to tin Lowest.
Our infallible rule for success in business is
Honest Goods,
COURTEOUS TREATMENT,
Reliable Statements,
LOR* prices:
Call early and often, and oblige,
Yours truly,
JOHN R. SHAW.