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THE SEMI-WEEKLY • SUMTER REPUBLICAN.
ESTABLISHED IN 1554,
By CHAS. W. HANCOCK. J
VOL. 18.
The Sumter Republican.
Semi-Weekly, One Year - - - ft 00
Weely, One Year - - - - - 2.00
ISFPayable in Advance.®}
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of Georgia—7s cents per hundred words for
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date and signature, is counted as a word.
The cash must accompany the copy of each
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ments have been made.
Advertising' Kates.
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stitute a square.
All advertisements not contracted for will
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Advertisements not specify'ng the length
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will be continued until ordered out and
charged for accordingly.
Advertisements to occupy fixed places will
be charged 25 per cent, above regular rates
Notices in local column inserted for ten
cent per line each insertion.
Charles F. Crisp,
•lit or new at Law,
AMERICUS, GA.
declGtf
B. P. HOLLIS %
Attorney at Late,
AMERICUS, GA.
Office, Forsyth Street, in National Bank
building. dec2otf
E. G SIMMONS,
Attorney at Law,
AMERICUS GA.,
Ollicc in Hawkins’ building, south side of
Lamar Street, in the old office of Fort&
Simmons. janGtf
.1. A. AIN StiJKY,
ATTORNEY AT LAW
AND SOLICITOR IN EQUITY,
Office on Public Square, Over Gyles’
Clothing Store, Americus, Ga.
After a brief respite I return again to the
practice of law. As in the past it will be
my earnest purpose to represent my clients
faithfully and look to their interests. The
commercial practice will receive close atten
tion and remittances promptly made. The
Equity practice, and cases involving titles of
land and real estate are my favorites. Will
practice in the Courts of Southwest Georgia,
the Supreme Court and the United States
Courts. Thankful to my friends for their
patronage. Fees moderate. novlltf
cardT
I offer my professional services again to the
good people of Americus. After thirty years’
of medical service, I have found It difficult
to withdraw entirely. Office next door to
I)r. Eldridge’s drugstore, on the Square
janl7tf It. C. BLACK, M. D.
Dr. J.A. FORT,
Physician and Surgeon,
Offers his professional services to the
people of Americus and vicinity. Has an
experience of fifteen years. Office at Dr.
E. J. Eldridge’s Drug Store. At night can
be found at residence on Furlow’s lawn.
Calls will receive prompt attention.
may2G-tf
Dr, D. ?. HOLLOWAY^
DentisT,
Americus, - - - Georgia
Treatssuccessfully all diseases of the Den
tal organs. Fills teeth by the improved
method, and inserts artificial teeth on the
best material known to the profession.
I3FOFFICE over Davenport and Son’s
Drug Store. marllt
J. B. C. Smith & Sons,
mum Hi mitt,
Americus, Ga.
We are prepared to do any kind of work
in-the carpenter line at short notice and on
reasonable terms. Having had years of ex
perience in the business, we feel competent
to give satisfaction. All orders- for con
tracts for building will receive prompt at
tention. Jobbing promptly attended to.
mav26 i 3m - - ;
Commercial Bar.
This well-established house will he kept
in the same first-class style that has always
characterized it. The
Choicest Liquor and Cigars,
Milwaukee, Budweiser and Aurora Beer,
constantly on hand, and all the best brands
of fine Brandies, Wines, &c. Good Billiard
Tables for the accommodation of customers.
may9tf JOHN W. COTNKY, Clerk.
Commercial Hotel,
G. M. HAY, Proprietor.
This popular House is quite new and
handsomely furnished with new furniture,
bedding and all other articles. It is in the
Centro of the business portion of the city,
convenient to depot, the banks, warehouses,
&c., and enjoys a fine reputation, second to
none, among its permanent and transient
guests, on account of the excellence of its
cuisine.
Table Boarders Accommodated on
Reasonable Terms.
may9-tf G. M. HAY, Proprietor.
LGEORGEAKDIIEWB,
BOOT ID SHOE 111,
At lii9 shop in the rear of J. Waxelbaum
& Co.’s store, adjoining the livery stables,
on Lamar St., invites the public to give him
their work. Ho can mako and repair all
work at short notice. Is sober and always
on hand to await on customers. Work
guaranteed to be honest and good.
apr!4-tf
f SIMMONS j
For Dyspepsia,
Cos stive ness,
Headache,
Chronic Diar
rhoea, Jaundice,
Impurity of the
Rlood, Fever and
Ague, Malaria,
and all Diseases
caused by Do-
fangement of Liver, Bowels and Kidneys.
SYMPTOMS OF A DISEASED LIVER.
Bad Breath; Pain in the Side, sometimes the
pain is felt under the Shoulder-blade, mistaken for
Rheumatism; general loss of appetite; Bowels
generally costive, sometimes alternating with lax;
the head is troubled with pain, is dull and heavy,
with considerable loss of memory, accompanied
with a painful sensation of leaving undone something
which ought to have been done; a slight, dry cough
and flushed face is sometimes an attendant, often
mistaken for consumption; the patient complains
of weariness and debility; nervous, easily starded;
feet cold or burning, sometimes a prickly sensation
of the skin exists; spirits are low and despondent,
and, although satisfied that exercise would be bene
ficial, yet one can hardly summon up fortitude to
try it—in fact, distrusts every remedy. Several
oi the above symptoms attend the disease, but cases
have occurred when but few of them existed, yet
examination after death has shown the Liver to
have been extensively deranged.
It should be used by all persons, old and
young, whenever any of the above
symptoms appear.
Persons Traveling or Living In Un
healthy Localities, ny taking a dose occasion
ally to keep the Liver in healthy action, will avoid
all Malaria, Bilious attacks. Dizziness, Nau
sea, Drowsiness, Depression of Spirits, etc. It
will invigorate like a glass of wine, but is no in
toxicating beverage.
If You have eaten anything hard of
digestion, or feel heavy after meals, or sleep
less at night, take a dose and you will be relieved.
Time and Doctors* Bills will bo saved
by always keeping the Regulator
> in the House!
F!or, whatever the ailment may be, a thoroughly
safe purgative, alterative and tonic can
never be out of place. The remedy is harmless
and does not interfere with business or
pleasure.
IT IS PURELY VEGETABLE,
And has all the power and efficacy of Calomel or
Quinine, without any of the injurious after effects.
A Governor’s Testimony.
Simmons Liver Regulator has been in use in my
family for some time, and I am satisfied it is a
valuable addition to the medical science.
J. Gill Shorter, Governor of Ala.
Hon. Alexander H. Stephens, of Ga.,
says; Have derived some benefit from the use of
Simmons Liver Regulator, and wish to give it a
further trial.
“The only Thing that never fails to
Relieve.” — l have used many remedies for Dys
pepsia, Liver Affection and Debility, but never
have found anything to benefit me to the extent
Simmons Liver Regulator has. I sent from Min
nesota to Georgia for it, and would send further for
such a medicine, and would advise all who arc sim
ilarly affected to give it a trial as it seems the only
thing that never fails to relieve.
P. M. Janney, Minneapolis, Minn.
Dr. T. W. Mason says: From actual ex
perience in the use of Simmons Liver Regulator in
my practice I have been and am satisfied to use
and prescribe it as a purgative medicine.
only the Genuine, which always
hae on the Wrapper the red Z Trade-Mark
and Signature of ,T. H. ZEILIN & CO.
FOR SALE BY ALL DRUGCISTS.
6|fTE* s
Hostetter’s Stomach Bitters meets the re
quirements of the rational medical philoso
phy which at present prevails. It is a per
fectly pure vegetable remedy, embracing the
three important properties of a preventive,
a tonic and an alterative. It fortifies tho
body against disease, invigorates and revi
talizes the torpid stomach and liver, and
effects a salutary change in tire entire sys
tem.
For sale hy all Druggists and Dealers
generally.
AYER’S
Ague Cure
IS WARRANTED to cure all cases of ma
larial disease, suck as Fever and Ague, Inter
mittent or Chill Fever, Remittent Fever,
Dumb Ague, Bilious Fever, and Liver Com
plaint. In case of failure, after due trial,
dealers are authorized, by our circular of
July Ist, 1882, to refund the money.
Dr. J. C. Ayer&Co., Lowell, Mass.
Sold hy all Druggists,
MEAT MARKET
AND
Provision Store
W. H. & T. M. COBB
Having purchased from HARE * COBB,
the Meat Market and Provision fetore, on
. COTTON AVENUE,
Keep on hand the VERY BEST CUTS of
BEEF, PORK, KID
AND SAUSAGE,
AND ALSO A FULL LINE OF
GREEN GROCERIES
Proviutonsi. Eto„
embracing all kinds of Vegetables anil
Fruits in their season, Canned Goods, etc.
It is their aim to keep a first-class establish
ment, and give their customers good goods
at the lowest prices.
Highest price paid for CATTLE, HOGS,
and all kinds of COUNTRY PRODUCE.
Americus, Ga., Deo. 16,1882. tf
THF IS always
me ouii interesting.
From morning to morning and from week
to week THE SUN prints a continued story
of the lives of real men and women, and of
their deeds, plans, loves, hates and troubles.
This story is more interesting than any romance
that was ever devised. Subscription: Daily
(4 pages), by mail, 55c. a month, or #.50
ayear; Sunday (s pages), 51.20 per year;
Weekly (Bpages), si per year.
I. W. ENGLAND, Publisher,
may 2-1 m New York City.
INDEPENDENT IN POLITICS, AND DEVOTED TO NEWS, LITERATURE, SCIENCE AND GENERAL PROGRESS.
AMERICUS, GEORGIA, WEDNESDAY, JUNE 6, 1883.
From Slave to Sovereign—The
Story of Martha Rnbe.
ItV FRED FOSTER.
At Ringen, a village of Livonia,
Russia, on the 27th of January, 1689,
a girl was born, named Martha Rabe,
whose history is so wonderful it seems
ideal rather than real.
When she was between four and
five years of age her parents died, leav
ing her in so destitute a condition that
the parish clerk out of pity provided
her with a home in his family. Soon
afterward Dr. Gluck, a Lutheran min
ister of Marienburg, near Ringen, on
his way through the latter place, chanc
ed to see the child, and was so pleased
with her appearance that he volunteer
ed to take her under his own protection.
As the expense necessary to her sup
port was quite an item to one receiving
his small income, and, besides, know
ing that her advantages would be great
er at Marienburg than at Ringen, the
clerk willingly committed Martha to
the minister’s care.
Bright, active, amiable, she shortly
endeared herself to every member of
Dr. Gluck’s household, and manifest
ing a great desire to he useful, she was
inducted into the mysteries of house
keeping, and rendered his wife notable
assistance.
In 1702 she was sought in marriage
by a brave and honorable officer of the
Swedish garrison of the Marienburg—
then under the government of Sweden
—and, with the approval of her foster
father, consented to become his wite.
Just prior to her marriage the strug
gle between Russia and Sweden began,
and some authors affirm that on her
wedding day, others that on the next
day after, Marienburg was taken by
the Russian army. What became of
the husband is not known, though it is
certain that his bride never saw him
again.
At this time less than fourteen years
old, she had a womanly appearance;
and of slight figure, regular features,
fair complexion, dark eyes, was really
handsome.
Aware that the Russians were wont
to sell their female prisoners, if young
and good looking, as slaves in Turkey,
she, dreading such a fate, concealed
hersef in an oven, where she was dis
covered by the soldiers.
General Bauer, lieutenant of Shere
metit, who commanded tho victorious
army, seeing her among the captives,
was smitten with her beauty, and sent
her to his tent, where she was given
the superintendence of his domestic
affairs.
Mie had been in his service but a
short time, when Piince Menchikoff
saw, and expressed a desire to purchase
her. Bauer made a present of his fair
servant to the Prince, into whose ser
vice she at once passed.
About this time 1703, she joined the
Greek Church, taking the name of
Cathrine Alexiewna.
Peter the Great enjoyed nothing bet
ter than to dine with his favorites quite
informally. One day, while seated at
the table of Prince Menchikoff, a vision
of loveliness in the guise of a young
woman who had poured wine into his
cup caused the laugh on his lips to die
away, and, when she went from the
room.
“Who is she?” he asked, tremu
lously.
“My slave was the response.
“I desire to purchase her, and will
pay any price you may ask.”
“I shall he pleased if your Majesty
will accept her.” said the Piince, def
erentially, however averse to parting
with his “slave” he may have been.
The very day Catherine wont to
Moscow with the Czar. By her cheer
fulness, gentleness and mental vigor,
she acquired great influence over him,
and finally ho transacted all business
with his ministers in her presence, fre
quently asking her advice with refer
ence to important matters.
In 1707 he privately married her.
For several years the marriage was
not made public, but her position and
power were well understood.
Peter was subject to attacks of de
spondency, which amounted almost to
insanity, and caused him the most
acute physical suffering. While they
lasted he was absolutely dangerous,
but even then Catherine hesitated not
to approach him, and found that her
voice and touch calmed his mind and
soothed his pain. So she accompanied
him on all his journeys and expeditions
deeming her presence essential to his
comfort, if not to his very existence.
In March 1711, he publicly avowed
his marriage with Catherine, and call
ed upon Russia to acknowledge her as
Czarina.
A few months later hostilities were
begun against him by the Sultan of
Turkey, and he set forth to meet the
Turks. Near the Pruth, a river that
forms the boundary between the Rus
sian and Turkish dominions, the two
armies encountered each other. The
position was an unfortunate one for
Peter, and he found himself completely
surrounded by troops numbering five
times as many as his own.
For three days the Turks endeavored
to force a passage through the Russian
lines, unsuccessfully. Then the G rand
Vizier, commanding tho Sultan’s army,
resolved to starve out the enemy or
compel it to surrender.
Several thousand Russian lines had
fallen on tho battle field; their ammuni
tion and provisions were almost exhaus
ted; they suffered terribly from thirst.
Further resistance seemed both foolish
and useless, and Peter, in despair, re
tired to hit tent.
Despite his orders that no one be ad
mitted to his presence Catherine went
to him, and, by her tact and energy,
effected the salvation of his honor. At
her dictation Sheremetief wrote a.letter
to the Grand Vizier, which led to a
declaration of peace. The story that
she gave her jewels and money collect
ed from the soldiers, to the Vizier, as a
bribe, is without foundation. On the
10th of February, 1712, alio was regu
larly proclaimed Czarina, with consid
erable pomp and splendor, though the
ceremony was less magnificent than it
would have been save for tho diasters
of the recent war. f.
For many years Peter and Catherine
lived together happily, but in 1724
there was an unpleasantness which led
to their separation, caused by certain
rumors affecting her integrity. How
ever, when he died, Jab. 28, 172.7, it
was in her artn3.
Immediately after Peter’s death,
Catherine was proclaimed Empress of
all the Rnssias. Tho beginning of her
reign was marked by numerous acts of
clemency. She freed many prisoners,
recalled some who had been exiled,
prevented the execution of not a few
who had been condemned to death. Nor
were her friends of former days forgot
ten. She pensioned the widow of Dr.
Gluck, who had died a prisoner at
Moscow; made his son a page, settled
a large annuity upon his two eldest
daughters and advanced the youngest
to be one of her maids of honor.
Her reign was of short duration.
She died May 27, 1727, of a cancer ag
gravated hy her irregular habits and
an excessive use of wine. It lias been
asserted that her death was caused by
poison administered in a cup of wine.
But there is no reason for believing
such a report.
Some writers have claimed that a
desire that one of Her own children
should succeed to the throne influenced
her to embitter the Czar’s feelings
against Alexis, Ids son by a wife whom
he had divorced; that his son was com
mitted to prison, where he died at her
instigation. Shelias also been charged
with causing her husband’s death by
poisioninghim. Both imputations are
false.
It is not to be presumed that her
character was wholly free from defects.
But, ail in all, she was one of the no
blest, most extraordinary women that
ever lived. So uneducated that she
could not write her own name, she
possessed traits which would have ena
bled her to achieve distinction, what
ever her sphere of life.
Whims of the Belles.
A NOVEL DEVICE —JACI.'UEMIHTS AND
• DAISIES.
New York Letter in the Boston Herald.
Fashion shows a novel device for the
ornamentation of a dress skirt. It is
to work the wearer’s initials in a mono
gram on the plain front breadth. Asa
rule the design is so embellished and
obscure that the letters are not readily
traced and the figure passes for some
thing merely ornamental. Vet some
times tho initials are so plain as to be
readable at a glance, and a woman
looks as though conspicuously marked
for purposes of ownership or indcntifica
tion. Of course this is bad taste, and
may be duo either to a mistaken view
of what is becoming or to a brazen de
sire to force attention. There is no
judging, here in New York, of the char
acter of women by appearances. Home
of them offend tho rules of propriety in
dress unawares and some of tho worst
are cleverest at obeying them.
A ireak of our fashionable women is
to wear little or no jewelry. A bangle
or two at the wrist is about all tho gold
ordinarily visible on a belle just now,
and if she knows anything in the way
of precious stones, it is a diamond or
pearl in each ear. But this discarding
of gewgaws does not imply general ab
sence of adornment or a prevailing qui
etude of style, for nothing has ever
been brighter or gayer in street attire
than the Jersey bodices now worn.
Their hues are supplemented by the
bunches of natural flowers, oftenest
yellow, that are displayed upon them.
Usually as soon as a fashion has ex
tended to poorer women, the rich
promptly discard it; but here is an ex
ception, for wealth can make itself flo
rally manifest in Jacqueminot roses at
one dollai a piece, while comparative
poverty does the best it can with dais
ies at ten cents a handful, and an equal
ity of prettiness does not involve the
dreaded commonplace.
Spring Time Rapidly Flies,
And as rapidly it seems the Wheel of
Fortune is turned by Gen’ls G. T.
Beauregard of La., and Jubal A.
Early of Va., at New Orleans, La.,
in the monthly distribution of The
Louisiana State Lottery Company.
Tho next (the 157th) is the Grand
Semi-Annual, when §522,600 is scat
tered every which way in sums of
§150,000 down, on Tuesday, June 12th.
Whole Tickets are §lO, fractional
parts proportionately, and any infor
mation can be obtained from M. A.
Dauphin, New Orleans, La. Who
will it be—to bo enriched forever?
It is rumored that Henry Irving, the
English actor, is soon to be knighted
by the queen. America is ahead of
England in this respect. We have in
this country quite a number of benight
ed actors. But we are not proud of ’em.
That poor bedridden, invalid wife,
sister, mother or daughter, can be
made the picture of health by a few
bottles of Hop Bitters. Will you let
them suffer t when so easily cured!
Salting a Minister.
THE HAD HOY OVERHEADS AN EXIT.niENCE
MEETING, AND THE OLD MAN GETS
INTO MORE TROUBLE.
Peck’s Sun.
“What is that I hear,” inquired the
grocery man of the bad boy, “about
your pa lighting a due! with the minis
ter in your back yard, and wounded
him in the leg, and then trying to drown
himself in the cistern? One of your
new neighbors was in here this morn
ing and told me there was murder in
the air at your house last night, and
they were going have the police pull
your place as a disorderly house. 1
think-yon were at the bottom of the
whole business.”
“O, it’s all a darned lie, and those
neighbors will find they better keep
still about us, or we will lie about
them a little. You see, since pa got
that blacking on his face he don’t go
out any and to make it pleasant for
him ma invited a few friends to spend
the evening. Ma lias got up around,
and the baby is a daisy, only it smells
like a goat on account of drinking the
goat’s milk. Ma invited the minister
among the rest, and after supper the
men went up into the library to talk.
O, you think I am bad, don’t you? but
of the nine men at our house last night,
1 am an angel compared with what they
were when they were boys. I got into
the bath-room to untangle my fish
line, and it is next to pa’s room, and I
could hear everything they said, but I
went away ’cans I thought the conver
sation would hurt my morals. They
would all steal when /hey were boys,
but darned if I ever stole. Pa has
stole over a hundred wagon loads of
watermelons, ono deacon used to rob
orchards, another one shot tame docks
belonging to a farmer, and another tip
ped over grindstones in front of the vil
liage store at night, and broke them
and run, another used to steal eggs and
go out in the woods and boil them, and
the minister was the worst of the lot,
cause he took a seine, with some other
boys, and went to a stream where a
neighbor was raising brook trout, and
cleaned the ■stream out, and to ward off
suspicion, he went to the man the next
day and paid him a dollar to let him
fish in the stream, and then kicked be
cause there was no trout, and the own
er iound the trout were stolen and laid
it to some Dutch boys. I wondend,
when these men were telling their ex
perience, if they ever thought of it now
when they were preaching and praying
and taking up collections. I should
think they wouldn’t say a boy was go
ing to hell right off’, ’cause he was a
little wild now a days, when he has
such an example. Well, lately some
body has been burgling our chicken
coop, and pa loaded an old musket
with rock salt and said he would fill
the fellow full of salt if hecaught him,
and while they were talking upstairs
ma heard a rooster squeak, and she
went to the stairway and told pa there
was somebody in the hen house. Pa
jumped up and told the visitors to fol
low him, and they would see a man
running down the alley full of salt and
he rushed out wish the gun, and the
crowd followed him. Pa is shorter
than the rest, and he passed under the
first wire clothes line in the yard all
right, and was going for the hen house
on a jump, when his neck caught the
second wire clothes line just as the
minister and two of the deacons caught
their necks under the other wire. You
know how a wire, hitting a man on the
throat, will set him back, head over
appetite. Well, sir, I was looking out
the back window, and I wouldn’t be
positive but I think they all turned
back summersaults and struck on their
ears. Anyway, pa did, and the gun
must have been cocked, or it struck I he
hammer on a stone, for it went off, and
it was pointed towards the house, and
three of the visitors got salted. The
minister was hit the worst, one piece
of salt taking him in the hind leg, and
the other in the back, and he yelled as
though it was dynamite. I suppose
when you shoot a man with salt it
smarts, like when you get corn beef
brine on your chapped hands. They
all yelled, and pa seemed to have been
knocked silly, some way, for ho pran
ced around and seemed to think he had
killed them. Ho swore at the clothes
line, and then I missed pa and heard a
splash like when you throw a cat in
the rivar, and then 1 thought of the cis
tern, and 1 went down and we took pa
by the collar and pulled him out. O,
he was awful damp. No sir, it was no
duel at all, but a naxident, and I didn’t
have anything to do with it. The gun
wasn’t loaded to kill, and the salt only
went through the skin, but those men
did yell. May be it was my chum
that’ stirred up the chickens, hut I don’t
know. He has not commenced to lead
a different life yet, and he might think
it would make our folks sick if nothing
occnred to make them pay attention. I
think where a family has been having
a good deal of exercise, the way our
has, it hurt3 them to break off too
suddenly. But the visitors went home,
real quick, after we got pa out of the
cistern, and the minister told ma he
always felt, when he was in our house,
as though he was on the verge of a
yawning crater, ready to be engulfed
any minute, andhegnessed he wouldn’t
come anymore, l’a changed his clothes
and told ma to have them wire clothes
lines changed for rope ones. I think it
is hard to suit pa, don’t you?”
“Oh, your pa is all right. What he
needs is rest. But why are you not
working at the livery stable? Yon
haven’t been discharged, have you?”
And the grocery man laid a little of
concentrated lye,that looked like maple
sugar, on a cqke ot sugar that had been
broken, knowing to boy would nibble
it.
“No, sir, was not discharged, but
when a livery man lends a kicking
horse to take my girl out riding, that
settles it. I asked the boss if I couldn’t
have a quiet horse that would drive
hisselt if I wound the lines around the
whip, and let me have one he said
would go all day without driving. You I
know how it is, when a fellow takes a
girl out riding he don’t want his mind
occupied holding lines. Well, I got
my girl in, and we went out on the
Whitefish Bay road, and it was just
before dark, and we rode along under
the trees, and I wound the lines around
the whip, and put one arm around my
girl, and petted her under the chin with
my other hand, and her mouth looked
so good, and her bltteeyes looked up at
me and twinkled as much as to dare
me to kiss her, and l was all of a trem- !
ble, and then my hand wandered around
by her ear, and I drew her head up to
me and gave her a smack. .Say, that
was no kind of a horse to give to a
young fellow to take a girl out riding.
Just as I smacked her I felt as though
the buggy had been struck with a pile
driver, and when I look at the horse he
was running away and kicked the
buggy, and the lines were dragging on
the ground. 1 was scared I tell you,
I wanted to jump out, but my girl
threw her arms around my neck and
screamed, and said we would die to
gether, and just as we were going to
die the buggy struck a tence and the
horse broke loose and went off, leaving
us in the buggy, tumbled down by the
dash-board, but we were not hurt. The
old horse stopped and went to chewing
grass, and lie looked up at me as though j
be wanted to say ‘philopene.’ I tried \
to catch him, but lie wouldn’t catch, j
and then we waited until dark and I
walked home, and 1 told the livery man j
what I thought of such treatment, and j
be said if f had attended to my driving
and not kissed the girl I would have !
been all right. He said I ought to j
have told him I wanted a horse that j
wouldn’t shy at kissing, but how did i
I know 1 was going to get up courage j
to kiss her? A livery man ought to ;
take it for granted that when a young I
fellow goes out with his girl he is go- j
ing to kiss her, and give him a horse j
according. But 1 quit him at once. I '
won’t work for a man that hasn’t got
sense. Gosh! What kind of maple j
sugar is that? Jerusalem, whew, give I
me some water. O. ray, it is takiu the j
skin off'my mouth.”
The grocery man got him some water I
and seemed sorry that the boy bad I
taken the lump of concentrated lye by
mistake, and when the boy went out ,
the grocery man pounded his hands on
his knees and laughed, and presently
lie went out in front of the store and
found a sign, “Fresh letis, picked
more'n a month, tutfer’n tripe.”
What a Farmer Knew About
Dresses.
An Undertaker in the Chicago News.
“One day a farmer, from Lake cotin- i
ty, as I afterwards found out, came !
into my shop. That was when I did
not have my stock of coffins in the front
room, and when my shouds were hang- j
ing in neat cases. Well, lie looked at j
several of them, and finally he chose :
one and took it home with him, saying
it was for his wife. 1 condoled with
him, and, though he seemed mystified
by my talk of grief, he paid for the j
shroud and carried it off. Two or three j
days after lie came back with a middle
aged lady. The woman was in a great
rage, while he was much downcast. :
He called me aside, and in a whisper, i
asked me what the garment was 1 had
sold him. Well, sir, I began to see I
what was the matter, but i kept a
strait face and whispered hack, “A !
shroud. 1 thought, sir, ye see, that
you had lost your wife,’ lie grew
more downcast than ever, and, pointing
to the lady, who was in the front of
the store, said: “That’s my wife.
Don’t look as though she was dead,
do she?’ Well, sir, 1 thought I should
die from trying to keep back the laugh.
Then lie whispered to me, ‘When I got
home to my good woman I unfolded
the tiling before her. She screamed
light out and said: ‘Samuel (that was
his name,) what are you a tliinkin’
about? I don’t want to he buried just
yet, not much. Ye needn’t think ye
are goin’ to get rid of me that easy.’
Then she commenced cryin’ and cuttin’
up, so that I felt all out of sort. Fin
ally I told her that I thought it was
a pretty dress. Then she went off
again, but finally she came to, and
she gave me a good tongue lashing.
Finally, to quiet her, I promised to
bring her in and get two pretty dresses
for her, and here I am. Now, won’t
you give me back the money, and take
back the shroud?! ‘Of course I will,’
said I. ‘Anything to oblige a person
in distress.’ Well, I gave him his
money, and the next time I saw him
he said his good wife had never got
over the idea that ho wanted to get rid
of her.
Tho opinion of the general public
in regard to Ayer’s Cherry Pectoral
is confirmed by clergymen, lawyers,
public speakers, and actors. All say
it is the best remedy that can be pro
cured for all affections of the vocal
organs, throat, and lungs.
Farmers and others desiring a gen
teel, lucrative agency business, by
which §5 to S2O a day can be earned,
send address at once, on postal, to H.
C. Williamson & Cos., 195 and 197
Fulton Street. New York. dec2 f M>m.
I four dollars per annum.
NO. 73.
AL ONHII
Don’t You Do It!
Much pleasanter looking people will be
found at
JOHN 11 SHAW’S,
Who will assist you in making your selee
tions from one of the
unßunßTaußDniffi
To be'found in the city,
Spring and Summer
Dry Goods
NOTIONS,
FANCY GOODS,
PARASOLS,
UJfBIS It ELL AS,
Ladies’ Hats,
I® KRFOIEBY,
Toilet Soaps.
TEUNKS,
CLOTHE,
GENTS’ FMIIIIIIf GOODS,
Boots and Shoes,
Straw, Wool and
Fur Hats,
At prices
Lewsr than ih Lowest.
Our infallible rule for success in business is
Honest Goods,
COURTEOUS TREATMENT,
Reliable Statements,
low prices:
Call early and often, and oblige,
Yours truly,
JOHN R.SHAW.