Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page.

THE SEMI-WEEKLY SUMTER REPUBLICAN: ESTABLISHED IN 1854, By CHAS. W. HANCOCK. ( VOL. 18. The Sumter Republican. Semi-Weekly, One Year - - - J 4 00 Weely, One Year - - - - - 2.00 B?*Payablk in Advance.aa AH advertisements eminatiug from public dices will be charged for in accordance with an act passed by the late General Assembly of Georgia—7s cents per hundred words for each of the first four insertions, and 35 cents for each subsequent insertion. Fractional parts of one hundred are considered one hundred words; each figure and initial, with date and signature, is counted as a word. The cash must accompany the copy of each advertisement, unless different arrange ments have been made. Advertising Kates. One Square first insertion, - - - - JI.OO Each subsequent insertion, - - - - 50 Ten Lines of Minion, type solid con stitute a square. All advertisements not contracted for will be charged above rates. Advertisements not specifying the length of time for which they are to be inserted will be continued until ordered out and charged for accordingly. Advertisements tooccupy fixed places will be charged 25 per cent, above regular rates Notices in local column inserted for ten cent per line each insertion. Charles F. Crisp, •attorney at Eau\ AMERICUS, GA. decl6tf B. P. HOLLIS, •It tor new at Law, AMERICUS, GA. Office, Forsyth Street, in National Bank building. dec2otf " E. G SIMMONS, •attorney at Eaw^ AMERICUS GA., Office in Hawkins’ building, south side of Lamar Street, in the old office of Fort& Simmons. janGtf J. A. ANBLEY, ATTORNEY AT LAW A\D SOLICITOR IN EQUITY, Office on Public Square, Over Gyleb’ Clothing Store, Americus, Ga. After a brief respite I return again to the practice of law. As in the past it will be my earnest purpose to represent my clients faithfully and look to their interests. The commercial practice will receive close atten tion and remittances promptly made. The Equity practice, and eases involving titles of land and real estate are my favorites. Will practice in the Courts of Southwest Georgia, the Supreme Court and the United States Courts. Thankful to my friends for their patronage. Fees moderate. novlltf CARD. I offer my professional services again to the good people of Americus. After thirty years’ of medical service, I have found It difficult to withdraw entirely. Office next door to Dr. Eldridge’s drugstore, on the Square jan!7tf R. C, BLACK, M. D. Dr. J. A. FORT, Physician and Surgeon, Offers his professional services to the people of Americus and vicinity. Office at Dr. Eldridge’s Drug Store. At night can be found at residence on Furlow’s lawn. Calls will receive prompt attention. may26-tf Dr. D. P. HOLLOWAY, DentisT, Americas. - - - Georgia Treatssuccessfully all diseases of the Den tal organs. Fill? teeth by the improved method, and inserts artificial teeth on the best material known to the profession. BSyOFFICE over Davenport and Son’s Drug Store. marllt J. B. C. Smith & Sons, CONTRACTORS 11 HUH, Americus, Oa. We are prepared to do any kind of work in the carpenter line at short notice and on reasonable terms. Having had years of ex perience in the business, we feel competent to give satisfaction. All orders for con tracts for building will receive prompt at tention. Jobbing promptly attended to. may26-3m Commercial Bar. This well-established house will he kept in the same first-class style that has always characterized it. The Choicest Liqnor and Cigars, Milwaukee, Budweiser and Aurora Beer, constantly on hand, and all the best brands of fine Brandies, Wines, &c. Good Billiard Tables for the accommodation of customers. mayOtf JOHN W. COTNEY, Clerk. Commercial Hotel, G. M. HAT, Proprietor. This popular House is quite new and handsomely furnished with new furniture, bedding and all other articles. It is in the centre of the business portion of the city, convenient to depot, the banks, warehouses, &c., and enjoys a fine reputation, second to none, among its permanent and transient guests, on account of the excellence of its cuisine. Table Boarders Accommodated on Reasonable Terms. may9-tf G. M. HAY, Proprietor. L GEORGE ANDREWS, BOOT All SHOE MU, At his shop in the rear of J. Waxelbaum & Co.’s store, adjoining the livery stables, on Lamar St., invites the public to give him their work. He can make and repair all work at short notice. Is sober and always on hand to await on customers. Work guaranteed to be houest and good. aprl4-tf Chlorinated Seine, solution Chlori nated Soda, Darby’s Fluid and other disinfectants, for use in sick rooms and for other uses. Dr. Eldridge’s Drug Store. r Tangemcnt of Liver, Bowels and Kidneys. BYMFTOM3 OF A DISEASED LIVER. Bad Breath; Pain in the Side, sometimes the pain is felt under the Shoulder-tyade, mistaken for Rheumatism; general loss of appetite; Bowels generally costive, sometimes alternating with lax; the head is troubled with pain, is dull and heavy, with considerable loss of memory, accompanied with a painful sensation of leaving undone something which ought to have been done; a slight, dry cough and flushed face is sometimes an attendant, often mistaken for consumption; the patient complains of weariness and debility; nervous, easily startled; feet cold or burning, sometimes a prickly sensation of the skin exists; spirits are low and despondent, and, although satisfied that exercise would be bene ficial, yet one can hardly summon up fortitude to tnr it—in fact, distrusts every remedy. Several of the above symptoms al tend the disease, but cases have occurred when but few of them existed, yet examination after death has shown the Liver to have been extensively deranged. It should be used by all persons, old and young, whenever any of the above symptoms appear. Persons Traveling or Living in Un healthy Localities, by taking a dose occasion ally to keep the Liver in nealthy action, will avoid all Malaria, Bilious attacks, Dizziness, Nau sea, Drowsiness, Depression of Spirits, etc. It will invigorate like a glass of wine, but is no in toxicating beverage. If You have eaten anything hard of digestion, or feel heavy after meals, or sleep less at night, take a dose and you will be relieved. Time and Doctors* Bills will bo saved by always keeping the Regulator ' in the House l For, whatever the ailment may be, a thoroughly safe purgative, alterative and tonic can never be out of place. The remedy is harmless and does not Interfere with business or pleasure. IT IS PURELY VEGETABLE, And has all the power and efficacy of Calomel or Quinine, without any of the injurious after effects. A Governor’s Testimony. Simmons Liver Regulator has been in use in my family for some time, and I am satisfied it is a valuable addition to the medical science. J. Gill Shorter, Governor of Ala. Hon. Alexander H. Stephens, of Ga., says: Have derived some benefit from the use of Simmons Liver Regulator, and wish to give it a further trial. “The only Thing that never fails to Relieve.”—l have used many remedies for Dys pepsia, Liver Affection and Debility, but never have found anything to benefit me to the extent Simmons Liver Regulator has. I sent from Min nesota to Georgia for it, and would send further for such a medicine, and would advise all who are sim ilarly affected to give it a trial as it seems the only thing that never fails to relieve. P. M. Janney, Minneapolis, Minn. Dr. T. W. Mason says: From actual ex perience in the use of Simmons Liver Regulator in my practice I have been and am satisfied to use and prescribe it as a purgative medicine. only the Genuine, which alwaj'S has on the Wrapper the rod Z Trade-Mark and Signature of J. H. ZEILIN & CO. FOR SALE BY ALL DRUGGISTS. Mrs. M. I RAINES Is now opening her stock of Spring Millinery! She will have on exhibition in a few days a full line of HATS, BONNETS NECKWEAR, H AIR GOODS AND jewelry: Those who wish to purchase MILLINERY will do well to call and examine her goods, as they have beeh selected with great care. decStf AYER’S Ague Cure IS WARRANTED to cure all cases of ma larial disease, such as Fever and Ague, Inter mittent or Chill Fever, Remittent Fever, Dumb Ague, Bilious Fever, and Liver Com plaint. In case of failure, after due trial, dealers are authorized, by our circular of July Ist, 1882, to refund the money. Dr. J. C. Ayer & Cos., Lowell, Mass. Sold by all Druggists. POUTZ’S HORSE AND CATTLE POWDERS No House will die of Colic. Hots o? Lux® Fe ver, if Foutz's Powders are used in time. Foutz's Powders will cure and prevent 1100 Cholera . Foutz's Powders will prevent Gapes in Fowls. Foutz’s Powders will increase the qnanttty of milk and cream twenty per cent., and make tlie butter firm and sweet. Foutz's Powders will cure or prevent almost evert Disease to which Horses and Cattle are subject. Foutz’s Powders will give Satisfaction. Bold everywhere. DAVID E. POUTZ, Proprietor. BALTIMORE. MD. Insure Against Storms! All should at once protect their property against loss by WIND-STORMS, CY CLONES and TORNADOES, by insuring in the Phenix Insurance Cos. of New York, Ono of the strongest American Companies. Cash capital $3,300,000. W. T. DAVENPORT & SON, Lamar St., Americus, (sa. Agents. apri!2B-3m TAX NOTICE. I will close my books June 30th. All those who have not made theirtax returns are ear nestly requested to come forward and make them. By so doing you will save me much inconvenience and labor. J. A. DANIEL, junel3-lm R. T. R. 8. C. Flavoring Extracts, Vanilla,Lemon, Orange, Pineapple, Strawberry Rasp berry, Almond, Rose, Celery, &c., &c., at Dr. Eldridge’s Drug Store. A now supply of He-no Tea, Black. Tea, Green Tea, Chocolate, at Dr. Eklridge’s Drug Store. INDEPENDENT IN POLITICS, AND DEVOTED TO NEWS, LITERATURE, SCIENCE AND GENERAL PROGRESS AMERICUS, GEORGIA, WEDNESDAY, JULY 4, 1883. __ VOE/Vf-X. _ DMGEH. Write it on the liquor door, Write it on the prison door, Write it on the gin shop fine, Write, aye, write this truthful line— “ Where there’s drink there’s danger.” Write it on the work-house gate, Write it on the school-boy’s slate, Write it on the copy book, Write it where the young may look— “ Where there’s drink there’s danger.” Write it on the church-yard mound, Where the drink slain dead are found, Write it on the fallows high, Write it for alt passers by— “ Where there’s drink there’s danger.” Write it underneath your feet Up and down the busy street; Write it for the great and small, In the mansion, cot and hall— “ Where there’s drink there’s danger.” Write it on your ships which sail, Borne along by steam and gale; Write it in large letters plain, Over our land and past the main— Where there’s drink there’s danger.” Write it on the nation’s laws, Trampling out the license cause; Write it on each ballot white Where politicians read things right— “ Where there’s drink there’s danger.” FORGUVEN. I!Y MARY STANLEY GIBSON. “It is an insult deep and deadly, which I can never forgive! We part here, at once and forever, Grosvenor Strong.” The speaker, a tall, fine looking woman, apparently gome thirty years of age, turned from her companion with a flushed face and flashing eyes, and laid her hand upon the door. Grosvenor Strong laid his own hand upon hers. The touch was a light and trembling one, for the proud man was deeply moved. As he stood there be side her, struggling for composure be fore he spoke, his broad chest heaved once or twice, and his firm lips quiv ered. There was also a dimness akin to tears in his deep blue eyes. But this she did not see. “Stop one moment, Alicia,” he said at last. “That door once closed be tween us, shuts out your life from mine as surely as the grave could do! lam not naturally a meek and humble man, as you well know, and you have tried my temper and my pride, this evening, as they have never been tried b; fore. But 1 can bear much from you, Alicia, because I love you. And so—” She dashed his hand away impetu ously. “I too have my pride and my tem per, Grosvenor Strong, though you seem to fancy that I was born only to submit patiently and quietly to all your actions, I tell you, sir, that what you have said to me this evening, is nothing more or less than an insult, which I will not endure.” “Got knows I did not mean it so, Alicia!” he said sorrowfully. Not heeding him she went on. “I have borne too long with your pride, and your imperious will, that would convulse the world itself, rather than be bent or broken! I will bear with them no more! Our engagement is dissolved from this moment, sir. And if I ever forgive what you have said to me, it will be—on ray deathbed —or at yours!” His blue eyes flashed fire. A sud den color flushed the statuesque beau ty of his face, and the firm “set” of his mouth grew firmer still. “As you will, Madam,” he muttered between his clenched teeth. And the next instaut he snatched his hat from the table—a door opened and closed violently, and he was gone! Alicia Starr went slowly up to her own room, and locked the door, sat down and counted in solitude and heaviness of heart the wages she had received. A widow, with an independent for tune, she had, till the previous year, known nothing of love except its name. She had regarded her husband, who was many years her senior, with a calm and quiet affection, which had mer ged, at his death, into a calm and de corous regret. Occupied by the man agement of the large property he had left her, she turned a deaf ear to those who would gladly have come to woo, till chance or fate, or, very possibly, the evil genius of her life, threw Gros venor Strong in her way. He was a lawyer, and to him she had confided the management of certain business mat ters connected with her estate. Sin gularly handsome, wealthy, of good birth, and with polished, courteous manners, the grave, stern-looking law yer succeeded where many others had failed. In spite of his forty-eight years and the coldness of usual man ner, he won the prize which many younger men would gladly have won, and became the accepted husband of the beautiful and stately woman who loved him with all the ardor of a trop ical nature awakened to the knowledge of its own strength and fire and fervor for the very first time. How then did they quarrel, rind that so bitterly, do you ask? Ah, reader, well you know that “a trifle light as air” can breed dissension between those who love like this. The causo itself was but slight. It was the passionate, angry words, the cruel sneers, the looks, almost of hatred, from eyes that had only spoken love be fore, that caused the parting; and both were proud, too proud to yield. So, after a few days, the pretty villa was partially and left in the care of two old servants, who were to look after the sad din and carriage, hor sea, and all the pets which the mis- For lTyspepsia, Cost! ve ness, tSick Headache, Chronic Diar rhoea, Jaundice, Impurity of the Blood, Fever and I Ague, Malaria, and all Diseases caused by De- tress ot the place had gathered around her from time to time. And Mrs. Starr’s name began to be seen, here and there, among the list of fashiona ble arrivals and departures at watering places and mountain resorts during the summer. And Grosvenor Strong re mained in his own place, doing his own work, and meeting the gossip, the ; wondering looks, the skillful inquiries ;of his friends and acquaintances, as j best he might—in silence. 1 The marriage was broken off—that was certain. And the ÜBual “nine days wonder’’-extended itself over three times that space of time. Yet from Mrs, Starr, or Mr. Strong not one sin gle word of explanation ever came to set the public mind at rest. And so, after some weeks, the rumors died away, and the lawyer was left in peace —if peace, indeed, was with him. ****** * Three years afterward, in the dusk of a winter’s evening, a stately female figure robed iu velvet and costly furs glided np the gravelled walk that led to the lawyer’s door. It was Mrs. Starr! The pride had yielded to her love at last! She had returned that very day to her own home, and without asking a single question of the servants, who welcomed her with a sort of wondering pity in their looks, which at the time she did not notice, she waited only for the friendly twilight to screen her from observation, before she sought her lov er to tell him, as only her lips and eyes could tell him, that the enstrangement of years was at an end, that love had conquered, that she was still true and fond—and he—Forgiven! He was a proud and haughty, and a violent tempered man. Be it so! She loved him, faults and all! She could not live without him! Let her yield, if one of the two must yield! Let his yoke be on her proud neck, so only that his loving arms was round her, his faithful heart her refuge and her home! The house looked strangely dark and still. The blinds were closely drawn at the front windows. At the side next to the street the shutters were closed. The ring of the door bell rous ed a host of echoes within the darkened hall. And presently a sad visage, middle-aged housekeeper presented her self, candle in hand, and nearly drop ped the light when she saw the pale and agitated face of the visitor. “Mrs. Starr!” she gasped. “Hughl” said the lady, and enter ing she closed the door. “Say noth ing! Where is he?” “In there!” said the housekeeper slowly as she pointed to the closed door of the parlor. “I must see him.” “You had better not; indeed, ma’am, you had better not!” said the house keeper who seemed strangely moved and agitated. “I must! I will! Why do you speak like that? Is he alone?” “Yes, ma’am. But I have only just left the room—” “Then stay out a few minutes more. No one must be there when we two meet.” She turned to open the door. “Take the light,” said the house keeper, placing it suddenly in her hand. “Oh, dear, dear, that ever I should live to 6ee this day!” Throwing her apron over her head, the woman fairly ran away, sobbing violently as she went. Puzzled, but unenlightened by her distress, Mrs. Starr softly opened the door. The parlor was dark and cold and still. A faint, oppressive atmosphere filled the loom. One window was open at the top, and the white lace curtains swayed gently to and fro in the chill night breeze. No voice welcomed her. No stately foim rose to meet her. Nothing broke the solemn silence, which was like that of the tomb. What did it mean? Why had the woman wept when she entered here? Where—where was he? She held the light on high, and looked about the room. A portrait in a gilded frame hung upon the wall between two windows. The portrait of a handsome, stately man in the pride of life and strength, and the bloom.of health. The massive brow looked white and clear beneath the overhanging curls; the firm lips smiled; the dark blue eyes glanced down upon her with that look, half pride, half conscious power, which she remembered—oh, so well! Beneath the portrait—what? A rosewood coffin, studded with silver nails, with garlands of exotic flowers strewed upon its darkly polished sur face, and with its silver-plated lid turned down! Within that coffin the face of the portrait, with the life and light and bloom gone out forever! Pale, cold, and silent, but beautiful as a statute, he lay before her! The broad brow was smooth and calm; the darkly fringed eyelids were shut as if in tranquil sleep, above the blue eyes, whose light would never smile on her again; the chiselled lips closed firmly still; and the contour head and cheek and rounded, dimpled chin, was grace ful and beautiful as ever. No trace of sorrow or of grief was there! If any such there had been in life, it was now gently smoothed away forever. Over the still face and tranquil form brooded an indescribable look of peace and rest. It. was "well with him,” now that the tumult and fever of living were over! The shadow of Aarael’s wing above the glorious dead, was beautiful in deed! Yes,—“with the dead it was well!” But the living! . Long, long she looited npon him— forgetful and unheeding of her presence for the first time since they two had met and loved! The housekeeper, growing frightened at the strange silence, opened the door at last. The mourner turned and made one step toward her. “When—when?” she gasped. “Oh, my God!” and throwing up her arms with a wild cry of passionate despair, she fell senseless at the woman’s feet. **** * * _ * The lawyer’s funeral issued from that house on the third day afterward. It was attended by the whole town, and chief mourner, who sat by the head of the coffin, shrouded in a widow’s weeds, was Mrs. Starr. Many eyes were upon her as she rose to take her last look of that beloved face, ere the lid of the coffin was clos ed. Long, long she gazed upon the still majestic beauty of lip and cheek and brow; and few watching eyes were dry when she bent down to kiss those cold and silent lips for the last time. No tear was shed, no sob was uttered by her. Her heart wept tears of blood the while; but her eyes were dry, and her manner was calm and composed, even when the icy clouds fell heavily on the coffin, and her dead was buried from her sight forever! The great wealth of the lawyer was left, unconditionally, to his “dearest friend, Alicia Starr, in teken of his un changed love, and of his full and free pardon for all the pmin her desertion had caused him.” Did she weep when these tidings were brought to her? It so, it was in secret. No one ever saw those proud eyes dimmed by a single tear. But oh, the weariness of her spirit! Oh, the utter desolation of her heart and home! Years have passed away since her bereavement, but the dead is not forgotten, and the pang of that aw ful separation is keen as ever within her tortured heart. So must it be till the end of life shall come! Reader, if it be with you as it was with her, oh hasten to amend your er ror while there is yet time! For fear ful is the power which the dead have over the living, and bitter beyond measure is the consolation of a forgive ness which is spoken from a giave! GLUED FOR LIFE. A couple from away down in the hills came to town to get married. The groom apparently about thirty years of age, wore a clay-colored suit of jeans and a blacksuake whip. The bride, who was scarcely more than twenty, was indeed a blooming beauty. Mak ing their way to a justice of the peace, and taking a license out of his pocket, the love stricken man asked: “Be you the ’squire?” “I be,” said the ’squire. “What is it you wish?” “Have you the power to marry peo ple and hitch ’em solid?” “Yes, sir.” “So it can never be undone?” “Yes, sir.” “Fire ahead, ’squire.” The ’squire proceeded to l usiness, and when he got as far to the question to the girl. “Do you take this lawful and wedded husband?” the groom lengthened the ceremony by the follow ing additional questions to her, for he wanted to be "hitched tighter than wax:” “And you won’t have nothing more to do with Bill Sykes?” “No.” “Nur Sam Hill?” “No.” “Nur Pete Jones?” “No.” “See here, Sally, don’t look down on the floor that way—that means you don’t know whether jou will or not. Look squar in my face, Sally.” Then Sally looked “squar” in his face, and he continued: “Nur Jack Powers?” “No.” Here the ’squire interrupted and said, “I don’t think it necessary to pin the young lady down so closely. She promised me to be your true and law ful wife, and that’s enough.” “Squire, you don’t know that girl like I do. She’s a coquette. She flirts with every fellow who gets stuck after her, and there’s a dozen of ’em. Now I want all that business stopped, and I want it done here by law.” “So be it,” said the squire; “Sarah Peters is wedded to you for life, and no power on earth can take her from you.” “That’s the talk! Come on, Sally, you’re mine. We’re glued for life!— Oh—wait till I pay the 'squire.” He paid the’squire $1 —all he had —and left for home, happier than he will ever be again. In no other medicinal prepa ration have the results of the most in telligent study and scientific inquiry been so steadily and progressively util ized as in Ayer’s Sarsaparilla. It leads the list as a truly scientific prep aration for all blood diseases. When one has had a fever, and the hair is falling off, take a tea cup of sago, steep it in a quart of water, strain it off into a tight bottle. Sponge the head with this tea frequently, wetting the roofs of the hair. Delevan, Wis., Sept. 24, 1878. Gents—l have taken not quite one bottle of the Hop Bitters. I was a feeble old man of 78 when I got it. To-day I am as active and feel as well as did at 30. I see a great many that need such a medicine. D. Boyce. A MULTIPLICITY OF GUIDES. “We hope we don’t intrude, but we thought we would come in and ask if it would be any trouble to let us see the inside of a newspaper office.” The managing editor sprang to his feet, and the law reporter covered his lunch with his hat. Theexchange edi tor poured his ink into his bottle of beer to make it look iunoceut, and the rest of the staff crowded around the two blushing damsels eager to offer assis tance. “Certainly,” replied the managing editor, smoothing down his hair and approaching the fair guests. “This is my room, and there is the peg I hang ray hat on. Only the peg seems to have come up through the hat lately. I must have that peg fixed. This is my—” “Perhaps the ladies would rather see my editorial on tho rise and progress ot mission schools,” interrupted the religious editor, pointing toward his own desk. “Never been in a newspa per office before?” he inquired, as the girls turned toward him. “I sit here at this table, and in this drawer is where I keep my—” “I think I can show you one of the most important legal decisions ever rendered,” observed the law reporter, taking one of the girls gently by the arm and making off with her in the di rection of his desk. “You know the law has always been—” “I suppose you really want to see the practical workings of an office,” smiled the exchange editor, bowing very low. “If you will step here to my department I will show you on what all the vast machinery jp{ this in stitution rests,” and the exchange edi tor gallantly offered his arm, and mo tioned toward his den. “Of course, you would be most inter ested in the weddings,” observed the society reporter, feeling confident that he had the bulge on the whole busi ness. “If you will be kind enough to come this way I will show you my ac count of a swell affair that came off on the Heights last night. The b ide—” “This is where the local news is put together in shape,” chipped in the city editoi. “Everything that happens in Brooklyn has to pass through my hands, and I will bo glad to show you how it is done, if you will be good enough to take chairs in my little of fice.” “Have you come to visit a newspa per establishment?” asked the cashier, who happened to drop into the editorial department at that moment. “Yes, sir,” faltered one of the be wildered girls. “Then come right downstairs and see me make up the list of marriages and deaths. You will be ahead of ev erybody in town.” “Won’t that be nice!” giggled the girls, fluttering out after him. “We will know all about it before the paper comes out.” And the triumphant cashier stalked out while the staff sat down to get up a remonstrance against that cashier’s interference with the regular business of the office in the future. —Brooklyn Eagle. AN ORIGINAL WEDDING. A young man living iu Cummins villc, 0., about to be married to the lady of his choice, wanted something original and romantic connected with the ceremony. He had heard of people being married in the deep recesses of the Mammoth eave, and up in a ballon boys, but no ballon was convenient and a trip to the cave was too expen sive. So he finally hit upon a wedding on horseback. The idea was not entirely novel, as he had a dim recollection of having read of such a thing before, but it was romantic anyhow, and quite superior to the humdrum affairs the newspaperese briefly noticed. He wanted a sensa tion that would be the talk of the neighborhood for some time, and he got it. Neither he nor his affianced were adapts in equestrianism, and the parson he engaged mounted a horse on that occasion for the first time in his life, and the result was a surprise to all parties. All reached the rendezvous, which was out on the Reading road, alter some little trouble, but when they drew up for the ceremony, the horses became restive and the riders nervous and fearful. The bride and groom couldn’t get their steeds near enough together to take hold of hands, so that preliminary was necessarily omitted. The minister began: “If any one knows any reason why this couple should not be united let him ” Here the groom’s charger began to rear and plunge as if charged with vital information on the point which he was eager to unload. He was coax ed into comparative submission, but as he broke out more violently than before when the minister again called for objections to the bans, the question was not pressed. The bride, was en gaged in a struggle with her palfry to keep him from standing on his head, begged hysterically that the nuptials be consummated as quickly as possi ble, as she wanted to go right home. Meanwhile the minister’s horse had backed up against the fence and was preparing to sit down there in order to make himself as comfortable as possi ble till the show was over. He chang ed his mind, however, and waltzed around in the middle of the road half a dozen times so rapidly ‘that the affrighted parson thought that he was surrounded by a regiment of cavalry. | FOUR DOLLARS PER ANNUM. NO. 81. As soon as he could command his breath he said to the groom: “Do you take ” The groom didn’t but Ins horse did —he took the bits in his mouth and started up the road on a run. Then the bride’s courser made a mad dash in the opposite direction. The parson’s nag hesitated a moment and then fol lowed after the groom, and when with in earshot the parson, with rare pres ence of mind and fearful of losing his fee, shouted at the top of his voice! “Do you take—this woman—for your —wedded wife?” What the reply would have been cannot be known as the young man’s horse swerved from his course at this critical moment and plunged into the canal along which they were passing. The parson was only stopped by a toll gate. He wanted to race back and get the reply of the bride, but as she had got too much the start of him he con cluded to see her another time. COUNTING A BILLION. Said a father to his handsome young son one evening as they were sitting together— “ Can you count a billion?” “Certainly papa; that’s no great feat,” was the reply. “Do you kuow how many make a billion?” the father next queried. “Not exactly; but I will see what Webster says in his great dictionary. Here it is: ‘a milliou of millions; as many millions as there are units in a million.’ ” “Now, my son, this is a very large number, and do you think you can count it?” Certainly I can.” “How long do you think it will take you it you do nothing else but count?” “Perhaps all day, or easily in two days,” replied the son. “Take your slate and pencil, and let ns make a little calculation. As your tongue is very nimble, I will allow you can count two hundred a minute. How many will this give yon in an hour?” asked the father. “And how many in twenty-four hours?” “Only two hundred and eighty-eight thousand,” replied the boy. “This tell you that two days are not enough, even if you count without eat ing or sleeping, for it would only give you six hundred and seventy-six thou sand, which is very far short of a bil lion, you see.” “Give a whole year and I will count it,” said the son. “It you do,” said the good natured father, with a twinkle in his eye, “I will give you a hundred dollars, and take you to France and Italy next sum mer. Come, use your pencil again, and see how far a year will carry you toward the billion, allowing that you work three hundred and sixty-five days, and twenty-four hours each day. Mul tiply two hundred eighty-eight thous and, counted in a day, by three hundred and sixty-five, and what result will you have?” “Why, papa, only one hundrsd and five million, one hundred aud twenty thousand. I give it up for Ido not believe I could count it in mv whole life time.” “This is very probable, my son; but now yon are at it, keep up the calcula tion, and find out how long it would take you to count a billion. Be care ful in your multiplications and addi tions, for a small mistake where the figures are so many will make a great difference in the result. I will look over you. You have made the calcu lation and what have you?” “Perfectly amazing! To count a million times a million would most certainly take nine thousand five hun dred and twelve years, twenty-four days, five hours aud twenty minutes, at the rate of two huudred for every minute.” OH, WOMAN. What shall be done with the women? is a question asked by an editor. Bet ter not try to do anything with them, kind friend. The very best course for a mau to pursue in regard to women is to let them have tneir own way. That man who dares to try to boss a spirited woman will find his hands too full for comfort. Of course yon might brow-beat a timid, tender, clinging, trustful little thing in calico, but when it comes to the get-up-and-get-woman, she will get the best of you every time. Indeed, we have known women of force and nerve to mop up the floor with grumbling sticks misnamed men. And the millions of bald heads throughout the land are mute but ever present re minders of woman’s power and influ ence. Yes, sir, you’d better let the women alone and go about your business, be loved. There are a few things that women will submit to, such as making fires and drawing water, but when it comes to her numerous inalienable rights all the world can’t move her. Just so beloved. And one of these days, unless you hold np on women, yon will feel tor your curly locks and they will be gone; you will look in the glass and find your face for all the world like a railroad map of Indiana. Even so, beloved. And we beseech you not to try to find out what shall bs done with the women? Let the dear creatures alone, beloved, and rest in peace.— Evfaula News. Knitting silk stockings is the latest fashionable racket. There is no mon- I ey in jug painting, and no more room I for the jugs.