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THE SEMI-WEEKLY SUMTER REPUBLICAN. IXrAIIUSHED IN 1554, By CHAS. W. HANCOCK. VOL. 18. The Sumter Republican. 8 b mi-Weekly, One Year - - - if iOO VV kely, One Year - - - - - 2.00 J3TTayai!i,k in advanck_j£3 All advertisements eminating from public Dices will be churned for in accordance with an act passed by the late General Assembly of Georgia—7s cents per hundred words for each of the first four insertions, and 35 cents for each subsequent insertion. Fractional parts of one hundred are considered one hundred words; eaoh figure and initial, with date and signature, is counted as a word. The cash must accompany the copy of each advertisement, unless different arrange ments have been made. Advertising Kates. One Square first insertion, - - - -§I.OO Each subsequent insertion, - - - - 50 tSTTiSN Links of Minion, type solid coi. stitute a square. All advertisements not contracted for will be charged above rates. Advertisements not specifying the length of time for which they are to be inserted will be continued until ordered out and charged for accordingly. Advertisements to occupy fixed places will be charged 25 per cent, above regular rates Notices in local column inserted for ten cent per line eacli insertion. Neat! Cheap! e print-,. NEATLY EXECUTSD -vfrV ep Hßumm^ Cheap! Neat! Charles F. Crisp, •flit or new al laiu\ AM mucus, GA. dcclGtf B. P, HOLLIS, • iHornetf at SAmu AMEKICUS, GA. Ollioo, Forsyth Street, in National Bank building. dec2otf E. G. SIMMONS, •Ittorney at JjUW, AMERICUS GA., Oiiice in Hawkins’building, soutli side of f.amar Street, in the old oftice of Fort& Simmons. jan6tf • JT. .V. AKSLEY, ATTORNEY AT LAW AND SOLICITOR IN EQUITY, Office on Public Square, Over Gyles’ Clothing Store, Americus, Ga. After a brief respite I return again to the practice of law. An in the past it will be my earnest purpose to represent my clients faithfully and look to their interests. The commercial practice will receive close atten tion and remittances promptly made. The Equity practice, and cases involving titles of land and real estato are my favorites. Will practice in the Courts of Southwest Georgia, the Supreme Court and the United States Courts. Thankful to my friends for their patronage. Fees moderate. novlltf CAED. I offer my professional services again to the good people of Americus. After thirty years’ of medical service, I have found It difficult to withdraw entirely. Office next door to l)r. Eldrldge’s drugstore, on the Square janlTtf R. C. BLACK, M. D. Dr.J.A. FORT, Physician a rd Surgeon, Offers his professional services to the people of Americus and vicinity. Office at Dr. Eldridge’s Drug Store. At night can be found at residence at the Taylor house, on Lamar street. Calls will receive prompt attention. mayhG-tf Dr. 0,7. DewmsT, America*, - - - Georgia Treatssuccessfully all diseasesof the Den tal organs. Fills teeth by the improved method, and inserts artificial teeth on the best material known to the profession. KTOFFICE over Davenport and Son’s Drug Store. marllt J. B. C. Smith &. Sons, mnrnm ah Minim Americus, Ga. We are prepared to do any kind of work in the carpenter lino at short notice and on reasonable terms. Having had years of ex perience in tho business, wo feel competent to give satisfaction. All orders for con tracts for building will receive prompt at tention. Jobbing promptly attended to. may2G-3m ” CASH, STRICTLY CAS 11, ON AND AFTER THE FIRST DAY OF SEPTEMBER NEXT, OUR TERMS WILL BE STRICTLY CASH. WE MEAN WHAT WE SAY, and our friends will save unpleasantness to us, and perhaps mortification to themselves by recognizing tho fact at once. Persons indebted to us aro requested to call and settle their bills as early as possi ble. Wo are determined to close our books speedily, to “Ring out the old, ring in tho new, King out tho false, ring in the true.” M. H. FORD & CO., Lamar Street, Americus, Ga. augl-3m New Orleans, August l, 1883. TO THE PUBLIC. Investigate for Yourselves! Postmaster-General Gresham having pub lished a wilful and malicious falsehood in regard to the character of The Louisiana State Lottery Company, the following facts are given to the public, to prove his state ment, that we are engaged in a fraudulent business, to be false and untrue: Amount of prizes paid by The Louisiana State Lottery Company from January 1, 1879, te present date: Paid to Southern Express Cos., New Orleans,!’. M. Wescoat, Manager.§l,3o(l,3o9 Paid to Louisiana National Bank, Jos. 11. Oglesby, President 103,909 Paid to Louisiana State National Bank, S. H. Kennedy, President. 125,100 Paid to New Orleans National Bank, A. Baldwin, President 88,550 Paid to Union National Bank, S. Cliarlaron, Cashier 01,150 Paid to Citizens’ Bank, E. L. Car riere. President 57,000 Paid to Germania National Bank, Jules Cassard, President 80,000 Paid to Hibernia National Bank, Ohas. Palfrey, Cashier 37,000 Paid to Canal Bank, Ed. Toby, Cashier 13,150 Paid to Mutual National Bank, Jos. Mitchell, Cashier 8,200 Total paid as above 52,253,650 Paid in sums of under §I,OOO at the various offices of the Company throughout the United States 2,027,110 Total paid by all §4,881,000 For the truth of the above facts we refer the public to the officers of the above-named corporations, and for our legality and stand ing to the Mayor and Officers of the City of New Orleans, to the State authorities of Louisiana, and also to the U. S. Officials of Louisiana. Wo claim to be legal, honest and correct in all our transactions, as much so as any business in the country. Out standing is conceded by all who will inves tigate, and our stock lias for years been sold at our Board of Brokers, and owned by many of our best known and respected citi zens. M A. DAUPHIN, President. WCAPITAI. PRIZE, 875,000...* ’■'lclrctw only 85, shares in proportion b.S.L. LOUISIANA STATE LOTTERY CO, “We do hereby certify that ivc supervise the arrangements for all Monthly and Semi-Annual Drawings of The Louisiana Slate Lottery Company , and in person manage and control the Drawings themselves , and that the same are conducted with honesty , fairness , and in good faith toward all parties , and we authorize the Company to use this certificate , with fac simile, of our signatures attached , in its culvertisementss” //A,, Com 121 Ins loners. Incorporated in 1868 for 25 years by the Legislature for Educational and Charitable purposes—with a capital of §l,ooo,ooo—to which a reserve fund of over §550,000 has since been added. By an overwhelming popular vote its franchise was made a part of the present State Constitution adopted December 2d, A.D., 1879. The only Lottery ever roteil on and endorsed by the people of any State. It never scales or postpones. ItN (fraud Single Number Drawings take place month Iy. A S I*I,UNDID OI*I>OH’MJNITY TO WIN A FOItXDNE. NINTH GRAND DRAWING, CLASS I, AT NEW OR LEANS, TUESDAY, September 11, 1883 —luoth Monthly Drawing. Capital Prize, $75,000. 100,000 Tickets at Five Dollars Each. Fractions, in Fifths in proportion. LIST OF FRIZES. I CAPITAL PRIZE of §75,000 1 do do 25,000 1 do do 10,000 2 PRIZES OF §6,000 12,000 5 do 2,000 10,000 10 do 1,000 10,000 20 do 500 10,000 100 do 200 20,000 300 do 100 30,000 500 do 50 25,000 1000 do 25 25,000 APPROXIMATION PRIZES. 9 Approximation Frizes of §750 6,750 9 do do 500 4,500 9 do do 250 2,250 19G7 Prizes, amounting to §265,500 Application for rates to clubs should bo made only to the office of the Company in New Orleans. For information write clearly, giving full address. Address P. O. Mouey Orders or Registered Letters to NKW OKI.EANK NATIONAL HANK, New Orleans, l.a. Ordinary Letters by Mail or Express to M. A. DAUPHIN, fnew Orleans, liU., m M. A. DAUPHIN, (107 Neveutb D,C augls-4w A Valuable Plantation FOR SALE! I offer for sale the plantation located three and a half miles northwest of Ameri cus, on the Muckalee Creek, containing Eight Hundred anil Fifty Acres of land, about four hundred acres in a good state of cultivation, and known as the John Teel place. There is a good Gin house, ten ants and other out-houses on the place, and is supplied with excellent well water. Parties wishing to purchase will call on mo on tho place, or address meat Americus, Ga. WM. USRY. augl-2m REMOVAL, Can bo found on and after September 1, at the Store on Cotton Avenue, now occu pied by Janies G. Edmundson, where wc will be glad to welcome our customers and friends. Wo will keep A SELECT STOCK OF HEAVY AND FANCY GRO CERIES. Thankful for past favors, wo aro Yours truly, Schumpert, Roney & King. Amkricus, Ga., August 1, 1883. Cigars, cigars, smoking tobacco. The best live and ten cent cigars.— Pipes, snuff, etc., etc., at . Dr. Eldridge’s Drug Store. INDEPENDENT IN POLITICS, AND DEVOTED TO NEWS, LITERATURE, SCIENCE AND GENERAL PROGRESS. AMERICUS, GEORGIA, WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 22, 1883. Miss KATE KING Invites the attention of the Ladies to her SELECT STOCK OF MliqaiiFiifMs, NOTIONS, Etc. ALL OF THE LATEST STYLES, Which she keeps on hand at all times, and at the LOWEST (SASH PRICES! NEW GOODS ARRIVING DAILY. FIIE fISSORTMEHT BF ZEPH &IBDS.YR tSF'Don’t Tail to Call and Examine her stock before purchasing elsewhere. Miss Kate King, PUBLIC SQUARE, AMKIUCUS, GA. aprll-tf LOOK! Mrs, M. T. Elam Has a Large Lot of Buttons Of various styles and qualities, which she will sell at 5 Cents per Dozen. Ajiekicus, Ga., June 2, iss;;. k Ills Finals HIGH SCHOOL! The Fall Term of this School Opens August 20!h, and Closes in December. Board with the Principal at SIO Per Month ! Tuition 82, tfii and §4 Ter Month ! Due on the last day of eacli month. In accepting the care of this school I do so without opposition to any already estab lished in the city. My object will be to make this School a success, and I shall strive to merit a liberal patronage. A. J. cI, AUK, Principal. auglO-tf WESLEYAN FEMALE COLLEGE, Macon,. 4. corgia. The Forty-sixth Annual Session wilt begin September 19th, 1883. Tho most elegant College building in the South, furnished with all tho modern ajipiianccs looking to the health, happiness and comfort of its inmates. Unsurpassed advantages in Literature, Music and Art at moderate rates. Apply for Catalogue to Rev. W. C. Bas's, President, or Rev. C. W. Sutra, Secretary. july2o-tf COLLEGE OF Physicians and Surgeons JIAI.TIMOKK, MB, Tho practical advantages of this sclfool aro unsurpassed. Clinics licit! at City Hos pital, Maternite and Maryland Woman’s Hospital, all of which belong to this school. Physiological and Chemical Laboratory Work required of every student. Apply for a catalogue to dk. Thomas opib, Denn, 39 N. Carey Street. the university or Mississippi JL AT OXFORD. Tuition free to everybody lmt Law Stu dents. This Institution will open its. next session anil September, 1883. The course is complete; the Faculty is large, able and efficient. The terms are very moderate. Tho whole Institution is open to botli sexes. For catalogue and information apply to Gen. A. P. Stewaht, Chancellor. U. M. SULLIVAN, Secretary. DIVORCES— No publicity; residents of Desertion, Non-Support. Advice and applications for stamps, W. H. LEE, Att’y, 239 B’way, N. Y. Newspaper Advertising lliirean, 10 Spritce Street, Now York, Vegetable Sicilian HAIR RENEWER was the first preparation perfectly adapted to cure diseases of the scalp, and the first suc cessful restorer of faded or gray hair to its natural color, growth, and youthful beauty. It has had many imitators, but none have so fully met all the requirements needful for the proper treatment of the hair and scalp. Hall’s Hair Renewer has steadily grown in favor, and spread its famo and usefulness to every quarter of the globe. Its unparal leled success can be attributed to but ono cause: the entire fulfilment of its promises. The proprietors have often been surprised at the receipt of orders from remote coun tries, where they had never made au effort for its introduction. The use for a short time of 11 all’s Hair It knew eu wonderfully ir.. proves the per sonal appearance. It cleanses the scalp from all impurities, cures all humors, fever, and dryness, and thus provents baldness. It stimulates the weakened glands, and enables them to push forward anew and vigorous growth. The effects of this article are not transient, like those of aleoliolie prepara tions, but remain a long time, which makes its use a matter of economy. BUCKINGHAM’S DYE FOR TIIE WHISKERS Will change the beard to a natural brown, or black, as desired. 1 1 produces a permanent color that will not wash away. Consisting of a single preparation, it is applied without trouble. PREPARED BY R. r. HALL S CO., Mia, N.H. Sold by all Dealers in Medicines. tFOR ALL THE FORMS Scrofulous, Mercurial, ami Blood Disorders, the best remedy, because the most searching and thorough blood-purifier, is Ayer’s Sarsaparilla. Sold by all Druggists; sl, six bottles, ?5. HOSllSift fcltTEflS llostotter’s Stomach Bitters, by increasing vital power, and rendering the physical functions regular and active, keeps the sys tem in good working order, and protects it against disease. For constipation, dyspep sia and liver complaint nervousness, kidney and rheumatic ailments, it is invaluable, and it affords a sure defence against mala rial fevers, besides removing all traces of such disease from the system. For sale by all Druggists and Dealers generally. AYER'S Ague Cure IS WARRANTED to euro all cases of ma larial disease, sucli as Fever and Ague, Inter mittent or Chill Fever, Remittent Fever, Dumb Ague, Bilious Fever, and Liver Com plaint. In case of failure, after due trial dealers are authorized, by our circular >* July Ist, lf?S2, t<> refund the money. Dr.J.C. Ayer & Cos., Lowell, Mass. Sold by all Druggists. Notice of Dissolution. The firm of BOS WORTH & JOS SE Y was dissolved by mutual consent, on August Ist, 1883, L. B. Bosworth having purchased the interest of B. F. Jossey, and assuming all liabilities of the late firm. Parties indebted to the late firm will make payments to L. B. Bosworth. [Signed,] L. B. BOSWORTH, B. F. JOSSEY. Thanking our many friends and custom ers for their liberal patronage in the past, and hoping by strict personal attention to business, and attending to the wants of our customers, that 1 will be favored witli a sharo of their patronage, when in want of any articles in ray line, Respectfully, augß-tf. L. B. BOSWORTH. [Continued.] CHAPTER 11. wonderful and mysterious curative power is developed which is so varied in its opera tions that no disease or ill health can possi bly exist or resist its power, and yet it is Harmless for the most frail woman, weak est invalid or smallest child to use. “Patients “Almost dead or nearly dying” For years, and given up by physicians of Bright’s and other kidney diseases, liver complaints, severe coughs called consump tion, have been cured. Women gone nearly crazy! From agony of neuralgia, nervousness, wakefulness and various diseases peculiar to women. People drawn out of shape from excruci ating pangs of Rheumatism. Inflammatory and chronic, or suffering from scrofula! Erysipelas! Salt rheum, blood poisoning, dyspepsia, indigestion, and in fact almost all diseases frail Nature is heir to Have boon cured by Hop Bitters, proof of whicli can bo found in nearly every neigh borhood in tlie known world. Hungarian moustache wtix is the latest for fixing tho moustache. Cos metics for tho hair. Oonlroy’s bail' iloline, etc., etc., at Dr. KM ridge’s Drug Store. WY s S. FOR ANOTHER’S SIN. 11Y ETTIE ItOGEItS. “He has fine abilities, he is strictly upright, and a thorough gentleman,” the people of Stcthtoivn had averred >1 Roll Knight. And beautiful women had smiled their sweetest when lie was near, and good men ha i felt honored by his fellowship. Bat this pleasant appreciation was somehow lessened after Horace Wal den came back to the place. This individual had been traveling for a season, and bad returned to tako permanent possession of a noble prop erty that ho had purchased a few years before. He was a handsome man, young, brilliant, genial, ami was re garded as a flattering acquisition to the more exclusive society of the pretty, prosy old town. For mistress of his elegant mansion lie had chosen the loveliest lady in the place—Clara Thayer—a fair, stately creature, whose fancies perhaps had been but dazzled by the fascinations of the lover, for the time had come when the jealous and unreasoning love of the promised hus band was to her a regret and a weari ness unutterable. She was not inconstant, for he had never aroused her heart. Ho had ap pealed to her vanity, to her fondness for the splendors and gayeties of life; but no sentiment of his had ever stir red or satisfied the higher needs and deeper sympathies of her nature. And now that she had a better knowledge of him and of herself, she discerned something beneatli the polish and suavity of the man that was to her as distasteful as it was indefinable. The girl had become singularly seri ous and thoughtful, and she was less unreserved toward him than she had been when they were first betrothed; while he, ever prone to the suspicious, was swift to conjecture that she had been estranged by some influence hos tile to himself. “She is not the same toward me,” he thought in ready jealousy. “I doubt not that while I have been away Rolf Knight has robbed mo of her con fidence and affection. Siie lias ever been inclined to extol his perfections, and none but he lias the power to turn her heart from me.” It so happened that a subtle rumor began to obtain some dubious consid eration in Stethtown. Intimations not creditable to the career of Rolf Knight had bee',', onnninglv disseminated, and he began to suffer the thrust of deadly enmity before lie was aware that hs had a foe. Men who had sought his companionship scorned to avoid him; women who had schemed for his favor seemed politely unconscious cf his presence when he chanced to meet them. But he went liis way with sufficient serenity, and if the envenomed shaft struck deep, he bore the pang with philosophic fortitude. “1 wonder at the fellow’s audacity,” Horace Walden once remarked to Clara. “I should not suppose lie would venture to present himself among reputable people; especially here, when 1, at least, know what his past has been. The effrontery with which he would have come between you and me is something amazing,” he concluded tentatively. The girl looked up in wonder, and her fair face flushed from brow to chin. ‘‘l scarcely understand,” she falter ed coldly. “Do you not?” he returned with a jarring little laugh. “Denials are ab surd, Clara; liis admiration of you lias been obvious; and I fancy lie meant to take your love from me, even if he may not have absolutely said evil tilings of me to you." “He is too truly a gentleman to speak ill of any person; and certainly he would not of you—his friend," Clara answered gently, meaning neith er satire nor reproach. “I. am sorry I am compelled to spoil your illusions concerning him,” Wal den enunciated with a harsh chuckle; “but unfortunately Rolf Knight is but recently out of p.ison.” The girl started, and then stood as motionless as an image in marble, and to a marble palor paled the exquisite fairness of her lovely features. That hateful assertion was too blunt and dar ing to be untruth! and yet it seemed incredible that Rolf Knight bad ever committed a heinous offense. She had believed him superior to human errors, and her faith in that superiority could not be spoiled by even this declaration, shocking as it might be. Ho had been to her the ideal of all that is endearing and noble in manhood; and in that in stance Clara Thayer knew that she loved him as she could never love the man beside her. lint this abrupt real ization of her disloyalty was very hu miliating; this sudden consciousness of a love that might bring her naught but sorrow was very, very bitter. She felt stricken and bewildered, and could only stand there, white and mute, her proud head bowed, aud every nervo quivering with the perplexity, and mor tification, and pain of it ail. Mean while her companion keenly watched her; a scowl disfigured his countenance; a dull deadly jealousy smouldered in his attentive eyes. “Rolf Knight is a convict,” ho repeat ed, with an unnoccasaTy emphasis of the odious substantive. “A felon among felons, within prison walls, lie served his scutollee, paid the penalty for—” He paused as if smitten dumb, and, with a movement unmistakably craven, he took a step backward. His incom plete explanation was finished by Rolf Knight, who unseen and unheard in the excitement of the colloquy, had hut a moment before approached them. “1 paid the penalty for another’s sin,” he said, in a calm but accusing voice. “And you, Horace—you whom l loved as a brother—you for whose sake 1 suffered undeserved shame— would traduce me. Your ingratitude has taught me that the man who will permit such a sacrifice as I made, is the man who can not be worthy of it. I our ingratitude lias convinced me that to longer bear the blame of your offense would bo weakness, cowardice, madness. 1 have determined to justify myself; and first to you, Clara, you of all others who have most esteemed me,” he said, turning to her with a look, eloquent of the tenderness and reverence he had always felt for her. “Do you adjudge me guilty?” With a glance pathetic, of infinite trust and ineffable sympathy, she lifted her sweet eyes to his countenance—a countenance that was majestic in its masterly composure. “No, 1 do not,” she averred simply. “I thank you,” he said quite as sim ply. “You make my painful explana tion less difficult for me.” Then for a moment while a gleam of more than human pity softened his gaze of human contempt, lie silently regarded his ungenerous foe. “All our lives, Horace,” lie at length began with deep feeling, “yon and I lived together like brothers. Yonr uncle was like a father to me; you to him were dearer than a son. Ho had neither wife nor child, nor any living creature of his kin to share the .affec tion that lie gave you. Yon were his pride, his hope, his all. But he was a stern man in his way, and just. Had he known you as you were, profligate and prodigal, he would never have al lowed you to inherit one farthing of liis wealth. But you hid your vices well; and I, in my blind attachment for you, too often shielded you from bis suspic ions. The denounced man frowned, with a gesture of impatience, but seemed too abashed to utter any sort of contradic tion. “Then came liis mortal sickness,” continued Rolf, “and your shameless offense. In the deep midnight, like a common thief, you skulked into his chamber, and, even while the shadow of deatii was nearing the old man who loved and trusted you, rifled his safe for a few hundred paltry dollars. You would have been defeated bad I not recklessly assumed the role of a robber, in my anxiety to alet your flight from the apartment. I attempted not the slightest refutation of the accusations made against me, although I could have fully and easily vindicated my self, as you arc aware. Had the truth been known to your austere relative, you would have been disinherited; and therefore, for your sake, I maintained the reticence that condemned me. We were in a strange city, among people who knew little of us, and cared less, and a year or two of my life did not seem too much to give that my best beloved friend might not forfeit a for tune. I certainly never apprehended that you might become my enemy and a relentless defamer. You allowed me to wrong myself for you, Horace, and you have used that wrong to defame me among honorable men by whom I have been honored. And I claim now the justice that, perhaps you are un aware, I can secure if I choose.” “I fancy few people will credit your preposterous story,” the other sneered. “There is one whose testimony none will disbelieve,” Rolf announced slow ly; “one witness—your uncle’s faithful old physician—who knew you better than 1, and whose friendly interposition I can command whenever I deem such an extremity advisable.” His manner was significant, but lie meant a warning rather than a threat perhaps. But evidently Horace Wal den was persuaded that the man who had been so generous a friend would be a victorious antagonist. Yet, as if more in deliberation than submission, he haughtily inclined his head, then turned, and without a word, walked thoughtfully away. But before the next rising of the sun he had gone from Stethtown, to come back nevermore, even to the gill, whom, wild and wicked as lie bad ever been, lie had loved well in his way. And after a becoming time Rolf Knight went to fair Clara, and begged her to listen to his words of wooing. “I always felt, Clara, that you were to be my wife,” he said to her. “I should have been less lenient toward poor Horace, only my great love for you seemed very like a wrong to him.” “And I loved you from the first,” she confessed, sweetly. “After I had met you, I knew I had never really cared foi him.” And fair Clara’s husband is as hap py and esteemed as if he had never endured sorrow and penance for anoth er’s sin. Young, old and middle-aged, all experience the wonderful beneticial effects of Ayer’s Sarsaparilla. Young children suffering from sore eyes, soie ears, scald-head, or with any scrofu lous or syphilitic taint, may be made healthy and strong by its use. The strength of criticism lies only in the weakness of the thing criticised. No child can be healthy if worms abound in its stomach. Send for Shrincr’s Indian Vermifuge, the reliable remedy. FOUR DOLLARS PER ANNUM, NO. 95. AROUSING HIS SYMPATHIES. “I see you have a lot of misfit pants,” observed a stranger as he halted be fore a Jefferson avenue clothing store yesterday. “My frendt, vlialk in. I liaf more misfits ash vould fit half der State of Michigan.” “What do you call a misfit?” ‘Vliell, somedings ash doan’ blease somepody who orders dem, and some dimes der cutter makes a mistake in der figgers.” “You keep a tailor, I suppose.” •‘Six tailors, my frendt, and all dey do is to make mistakes and misfits in order to keep up my stock like you see.” “Is that so? Well, now, what ails this pair.” “Dot pair,” replied the dealer as he shook them out, “vlias made for a young man who vlias to be married last week. Der gal she dies mit a fever, and so he doan’ come after his close. I lose shust four dollars on dot pair.” “And these?” "Vliell, dot pair vlias made for a deacon in der shurch who vlias spark ing up a vidder vomans. Der left leg is smaller ash de right, and lie doan’ take ’em. 1 sell you dot pair for tree tollar.” “Here’s a stylish looking pair which would about fit me. Whom were these made for?” “My frendt, dot slitrikes a sad chord in my heart. He vlias a young man who vlias to wear dose pants at a bridal. Der color vlias selected to match dcr bride’s complexion, but shust one day pefore her marriage she changes complexions und dose pants vlias no good. Dot vlias a loss of ten tollar to me, und dcr young man vlias so mortified dot lie sliump in der rifer und vbas diowned.” “YY hom were this blue pair made for!” 1 “For a slindge, my frendt—one of onr leading shudges. Der cutter makes a mistake, you see? Dcr sliudgo vlias a man who vlialks mit his toes turned out, vhile docs pants vlias cut for a man who vhalks mit liis toes turned. I lose seven dollar on dot pair.” “Well, I declare! You’ll lose all of SSOO on this lot, won’t yon?” “My loss vhill be oafev SI,OOO, und last week I haf a lire and no insurance, my vhife breaks her leg, aud der land lord raises on my rent almost half.” “Great ginger! Why, I should think you’d shut up shop!” “If I do dot den where you gat some misfit'pants.” “That s so—that’s so. You are what they call a human—a humanita rian, I reckon.” hell, I vhas human, I s’hpose.” “You bet you are! And soam I, and when I meet a man with a soul like yom’s I’m his inutten and he’s my chicken!” “Vhill you vlialk in?” “Sartin 1 will, and you can paw over that pile of misfits and hand me about thirty dollars worih and do ’em up and take your cash! A man who al lows himself to be paralyzed, pulver ized and smashed to a jelly to accom modate the public deserves to be patron ized, and you needn’t be a mite partic ular whether them pants match my complexion or are built to fit bow-legs or straight. Shut the door, keep the children out, and lemme jump into five or six pairs.” —Detroit Free Press. LITTLE LAUGHS. “Please give me something, sir?” says an old woman. “I had a blind child; lie was my only means of sub sistence, and the poor hoy recovered his sight!” The idea that “a man loses his dig nity when lie has his hair close crop ped” is absurd. The man who orders his hair close cropped never had any dignity to lose. A plant lias been found that cures bashfulness. It should lie promptly tried on the man who leaves the hotel by the back window because he is too diffident to say good-bye to the cashier and clerk. It brooms are wet in boiling suds once a week they become very tough, and will not break up so easily when a fond wife is remonstrating with her husband and trying to induce him to do better. Not one of the cackling old liens in this country appear to know or care that a Florida turtle will lay 150 eggs in a day without making the least bit of noise. The ben fuss over one little egg is absurd. When a lady living in Chelsea sent to London for a doctor, she apologized for asking him to come such a distance. “Don’t speak of it,” answered the M. 1). “I happened to have another pa tient in the neighborhood, and can thus kill two birds with one stone.” The groom of Iroijuios, the fiist American Derby winner, says he “thinks as much of his horse as lie does of his wife.” If all owners of fast horses thought as much of their wives as they do of their horses, these women would bo much liappierand he the envy of their sex. When you see a young man standing in front of an ice-cream saloon in the evening, do not go so far as to decide he has given his girl his last fifteen cents, and is waiting outside while she eats it up. One should not hastily condemn on circumstantial evidence, no matter how strong it may he.