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THE SEMI-WEEKLY SUMTER REPUBLICAN, ESTABLISHED IIV 1854, ) By CHAS. W. HANCOCK. [ VOL. 18. The Sumter Republican. Semi-Weekly, One Year - - - §4 00 \Vf.ri,y, One Year - - - - 2.00 tagrPAYABI.K IN AI)VANCF._3*4 All advertisements eminating from public dices will be charged for in accordance with an act passed by the late General Assembly of Georgia—7s cents per hundred words for eacli of the first four insertions, and :S5 cents for each subsequent insertion. Fractional parts of one hundred are considered one hundred words; each figure and initial, with date and signature, is counted as a word. The cash must accompany the copy of each advertisement, unless different arrange ments have been made. Advertising Bates i Ouo Square first insertion, - - - - §I.OO Each subsequent insertion, - - - - 50 KTTen Lines of Mi nion, type solid cci stitute a square. All advertisements not contracted for will be charged above rates. Advertisements not specifying the length of time for which they are to be Inserted will be continued until ordered out and charged for accordingly. Advertisementstooccupy fixed places will lie charged 25 per cent, above jegular rates Notices in local column inserted for ten cent per line each insertion. Neat! Cheap o* PR,E * } V NEATLY Q EXECUTED Cheap! Neat! Charles F. Crisp, Attorney at Law, AMERICUS, GA. declGtf _ B. P. HOLLIS, •if lorneff at Law, AMEBICUS, GA. Office, Forsyth Street, in National Bank Wiiihling. dec2otf E. G SIMMONS. ♦7 9tor new at JLaw, AMERICUS OA„ Oliice in Hawkins’ building, south side of Lamar Street, in the old office of Fort & Simmons. janetf .J. A. AABI KY, ATTORNEY AT LAW AND SOLICITOR IN EQUITY', Office on I’ublic Square, Over Gyles’ Clothing Store, Ameuicus, Ga. After a brief respite I return again to Hie practice of law. As in the past it will be my earnest purpose to represent my clients faithfully and look to their interests. The commercial practice will receive close atten tion and remittances promptly made. The Equity practice, and cases involving titles of land and real estate are my favorites. Will practice in the Courts of South west Georgia, the Supreme Court and the United States Courts. Thankful to my friends for their patronage. Fees moderate. novlltf CAED. I offer my professional services again to the good people of Americus. After thirty years’ of medical service, I have found It difficult to withdraw entirely. Office next door to Dr. Eldridgc’s drugstore, on the Square janl7tf R. C. BLACK, M. 1). Dr J A FORT Physician ana Surgeon, Offers his professional services to the people of Americus and vicinity. Office at )r. Kldridge’s Drug Store. At night can be found at residence at the Taylor house, on Lamar street. Calls will receive prompt attention. may2G-tf Dr. d7p7 HOLLOWAY, !Rnt.sT, Americas, - - - (Georgia Treatssuccossfully all diseasesof the Den tal organs. Fills teeth by the improved method, and inserts artificial teeth on the best material known to the profession. tSTOFFICE over Davenport and Son’s Drug Store. mar lit i. B. C. Smith & Sons, UTRAMIS AM HIM, Americus, Ca. ) We are prepared to do any kind of work dti tlie carpenter line at short notice and on reasonable terms. Having bad years of ex perience in the business, we feel competent to give satisfaction. All orders for con tracts for building will receive prompt at tention. Jobbing promptly attended to. may26-3in " ckmr STRICTLY C A SII. ON AND AFTER THE FIRST DAY OF SEPTEMBER NEXT, OUR TERMS WILL BE STRICTLY CASH. WE MEAN WHAT WE SAY, and our friends will save unpleasantness to us, and perhaps mortification to themselves by recognizing the fact at once. Persons indebted to us are requested to call and settle their bills as oarly as possi ble. We are determined to close our books speedily, to “Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring out the false, ring in the true.” M. H. FORI) & CO., v Lamar Street, Americus, Ca. URI-3m Miss KATE KING Invites the attention of the Ladies toiler SELECT STOCK OF Hkj'iriiFasfWs, NOTIONS, Etc. ALL OF TIIK ! (TEST STYLES, Which she keeps on hand at all times, and at the LOWEST HASH PRIOES! NEW G ()ODS ARRIVING DAILY. FIIE ASSIIfITMEIT 3FZi?FB GBBDS.YR “Don’t fail to Call and Examine her stock before purchasing elsewhere. Miss Kate King, PUBLIC SQUARE AMEBICUS, GA. aprll-tr LOOK! Mrs. M. T. Elam Has a. Larue Lot of O Buttons Of various styles and qualities, which she will sell at 5 Cents per Dozen. Americus, Ga., June 2, lssa. (Educational, imm Mile isii fault HIGH SCHOOL! Tlifl Fall Term of Hiis School Opens August 20lh, anil (loses in December. Board with the Principal at $lO Per Month! 'Tuition $2, tjtß and Per Month ! Due on the last Jay of cacti month. In accepting the care of this school 1 Jo so without opposition to any alreaJy estab lished in the city. My object will be to make this School a success, and I shall strive to merit a liberal patronage. A. X. CLARK, Principal. auglO-tt WESLEYAN FEMALE COLLEGE, Macon, Oeor^iii. The Forty-sixth Annual Session will begin September 19th, 1883. The most elegant College building in tho South, furnished with all the modern appliances looking to the health, happiness and comfort of its inmates. Unsurpassed advantages in Literature, Music and Art at moderate rates. Apply for Catalogue to Rev. W. C. Hass, President or Rev. C "!. Smith, Secretary. july2o-tf COLLEGE; OP Physicians and Surgeons h u/n.uoii i:, md. The practical advantages of this school are unsurpassed. Clinics held at City Hos pital, Maternlte and Maryland Woman’s Hospital, all of which belong to this school. Physiological and Chemical Laboratory Work required of every student. Apply for a catalogue to iic. Thomas epii!, Dean, 30 N. Carey Street. UrUK UNIVERSITY OF MISSISSIPPI A- AT OXFORD. Tuition free to everybody but Law Stu dents. This Institution will open its next session ‘T7III September, 1883. The course is complete; the Faculty is largo, able and efficient. Tho terms are very modi rate. Tho whole Institution is open to both sexes. For catalogue and information apply to Gen. A. P. Stewart, Chancellor. U. M. SULLIVAN, Secretary. DXYOKCESL-No publicity; residents of Desertion, Non-Support. Advice and applications for stamps. W. 11. LEE, Att’y, 239 B'way, N. Y. Newspaper Advertising;' llim-mi, to Spruce Street, \W York. INDEPENDENT IN POLITICS, AND DEVOTED TO NEWS, LITERATURE, SCIENCE AND GENERAL PROGRESS. AMERICUB, GEORGIA, SATURDAY, AUGUST 25, 1883. New Orleans, August l, 1883. TO THE PUBLiC. Investigate for Yourselves! Postmaster-General Gresham having pub lished a wilful and malicious falsehood in regard to the character of The Louisiana State Lottery Company, the following facts are given to the public, to prove his state ment, that we are engaged in a fraudulent business, to he false and untrue: Amount of prizes paid by The Louisiana State Lottery Company from January 1, 1879, t© present date: Paid to Southern Express Cos., New Orleans,!’. M. Wescoat, Manager.gl,36o,3oo Paid to Louisiana National Bank, Jos. 11. Oglesby, President 103,900 Paid to Louisiana State National Bank, S. 11. Kennedy, President. 125,100 Paid to New Orleans National Bank, A. Baldwin, President 88,550 Paid to Union National Bank, S. Charlaron, Cashier 01,150 Paid to Citizens’ Bank, K. L. Car nere, President 57,000 Paid to Germania National Bank, Jules Cassard, President 30,000 Paid to Hibernia National Bank, Clms. Palfrey, Cashier 37,000 Paid to Canal Bank, Ed. Toby, Cashier 13,150 Paid to Mutual National Bank, Jos. Mitchell, Cashier 8,200 Total paid as above §2,253,050 Paid in sums of under §I,OOO at the various offices of the Company throughout the United States 2,027,110 Total paid by all §1,881,000 For the truth of the above facts we refer the public to the officers of the above-named corporations, and for our legality and stand ing to the Mayor and Officers of the City of New Orleans, to the State authorities of Louisiana, and also to the U. S. Officials of Louisiana. We claim to be legal, honest and correct in all our transactions, as much so as any business in the country. Our standing is conceded by all who will inves tigate, and our stock has for years been sold at our Board of Brokers, and owned by many of our best known and respected citi zens. M A. DAUPHIN, President. STCAPITAI, PUIZE, t75,00.-M Tickets only fts. Miaren in proportion L.S.L. LOUISIANA STATE LOTTERY CO. “ We do hereby certify that ice supervise the arrangements for all Monthly and Semi-Annual Drawings of The Louisiana State Lottery Company, and in person manage and control the Drawings themselves , and that the same are conducted with honesty , fairness , and in good faith toward all parties , and we authorize the Company to use this certificate , with fac simile, of our signatures attached , in its advertisementss ” /f £,<2 < 'oitini;*ioncr Incorporated in 1868 for 25 years by the Legislature for Educational and Charitable purposes—with a capital of §l,ooo,ooo—to which a reserve fund of over §550,000 lias since been added. By an overwhelming popular vote its franchise was made a part of the present State Constitution adopted December 2d, A.D., 1879. The only Lottery ever voted on and endorsed by the people of any State. It never scales or postpones . Itrltraml single Number Drawing* take place momliiy. l MM.ENHIU l)i’l>llllTli\ITY TO WIN A FORTUNE. NINTH GRAND DRAWING, CLASS , AT NEW OR LEANS, TUESDAY, September U, 1883 —lltotli Monthly Drawing. Capital Prize, $75,000. 100,000 Tickets at Five Dollars Each. Fractions, in Fifths in proportion. LIST OF PRIZES. ! CAPITAL PRIZE of §75,000 1 do do 25,000 1 do do 10,000 2 PRIZES OF §O,OOO 12,000 5 do 2,000 10,000 10 Jo 1,000 10,000 20 do 500 10,000 100 do 200 20,000 300 do 100 30,000 500 do 50 25,000 1000 do 25 25,000 APPROXIMATION PRIZES. 9 Approximation Prizes of §730 ft,730 9 do do 500 4,500 9 do do 250 2,250 1967 Prizes, amounting to §205,500 Application for rates to clubs should be made only to tho office of the Company in New Orleans. For information write clearly, giving full address. Address I’. O. Money Orders or Registered Letters to NEW ORLEANS NATIONAL HANK, Netv Orleans, l.a. Ordinary Letters hv Mail or Express to ML A. DAUPHIN, New OrlcmiN, l*a M or M. A. DAUPHIN, (07 Nevonlli V*., Wanin'on, D.U* augls-4w Mrs. M. 15. RAINES Is now opening her stock of Spring Millinery! She will have on exhibition in a few Jays a full line of HATS, BONNETS NECKWEAR, HATRHOODS AND JB WE Lit IV Those who wish to purchase MILLINERY will Jo well to call and examine her goods, as they have been selected with great care decßtf Baking powders—various sorts and sizes at Dr. Eblridge’s Drug Store. SCROFULA .•id,l all scrofulous diseases, Sores, llrysipe las, Kczema, Blotches, Ringworm, Tu mors, Carbuncles, Roils, and Kruptions 1 of the Skin, are tlie direct result of an impure state of the blood. ' To cure these diseases the blood must he purified, and restored to a healthy ami na tural condition. Avr.u’s Sarsaparilla has , lor over forty years been recognized by emi nent medical authorities as the most pow erful blood piuiiier in existence. It frees the system from ail foul humors, enriches I ami strengthen the bloo-.l,removes all traces of mercurial treatment, and proves itself a i complete master all scrofulous diseases. A Recent Cure of Scrofulous Sores. “Some mouths ago I was troubled with scrofulous soil . (ulcers) on my legs. The 1 limbs were badly swollen and fnfianied, and the sores diseintrp.i and largo quantities of , offensive matter, livery remedy i tried failed, until I used Ayer's Sarsaparilla, of which I have now taken three bottles, 1 with the result that the sor*s are healed, and my general health gicatly improved. ) T feel very grateful for the' good your medicine lias done me. Yours respectfully s Mils. Anit-G’Briav.” 1 148 Sullivan St., New York, June 24,1882. , C3P* All persons interested are invited to call on Mrs. O’Rrian; also upon tlio Rev. Z. I\ Wilds of 78 Rant 541 U Street, I Key/ York City, who w ill take pleasure --' into the wonderful efficacy of Ayer’s < ’v in tho cure of this lady, i>.. . , and many others within his ... The well-known writer on the L'oston Hernia, B. W. Ball, of Rochester , A .//., writes, June i 7, 1882: “ Having suffered severely for some years with Eczema, and having failed to find relief from other remedies 1 have made use, during tho past three months, of Ayer’s Sarsapa rilla, which has effected a complete cure. I consider it a magnificent remedy for all blood diseases.” Ayer’s Sarsapari Ila stimulates and regulates the action of the digestive and assimilative organs, renews and strengthens the vital forces, and speedily cures Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Rheuma tic Gout, Catarrh, General Debility, and all diseases arising from an impoverished or corrupted condition of the blood, and a weak ened vitality. it is incomparably the cheapest blood medi cine, on account of i!s concentrated strength, and great power over disease. PREPARED ItY Dr. J.C.Ayer&Co., Lowell, Mass. Sold by all Druggists; price sl, six bottles for $5. HfISTERER’s sTOjrsrn &S; “itteß^ llostetter’s Stomach Bitters, by increasing vital power, and rendering the physical functions regular and active, keeps tho sys tem in good working order, and protects it against disease. For constipation, dyspep sia and liver complaint nervousness, kidney and rheumatic ailments, it is invaluable, and it affords a sure defence against mala rial fevers, besides removing all traces of such disease from the system. For sale by all Druggists and Dealers generally. AYER’S Ague Cure 18 WARRANTED lo cure all cast s of ma larial disease, such as Fever and Ague, lullr mittent or Chill Eofer, Remittent I’evcr, Dumb Ague, Bilious Fever, and Liver plaint, in case of failure, after due dealers are authorize;!, by our circn'ar July Isi, I>B2, to refund (lie money. Dr. J.C. Ayer & Cos., Lowell, Mass. Solti by nil Druggists. POUTZ’S MORSE AMD CATTLE POWDERS ha nuti No lloksk will die of Colic. Dots or Luno Tz ys?k, it Foutz’s Powders arc used In time. Foutz's Rowdere willonre and prevent 1100 Cholera. roiitz’s Powders will prevent Gapes in Fowls. Fontz’s Powders will increase the quantity of milk and cream twenty per cent., and make the butter firm am} sweet. Foutz’s Powders will cure or prevent almost every Disease to which Horses and (.'attic arc subject. Foutz’s Powders will give satisfaction. Bold everywhere. DAVID r. TOUTS, Proprietor, BALTIMORE. MB. A Valuable Plantation FOR SALE 1 I offer for sale the plantation located tlirco and a half miles northwest of Ameri cus, on the Muckaleo Creek, containing Eight il ndrpi! and Fifty Acres of land, about four hundred acres in a good state of cultivation, and known as tho John Teel place. There is a good Gin house, ten ants and other out-houses on tho place, and is supplied with excellent well water. Parties wishing to purchase will call on me on the place, or address me at Americus, Ga. WM. USRY. augl-2m mawWmz Thankful for past patronage, a continua tion is earnestly solicited. One new 45 saw win for sale at Z.'Z5 per saw. One 45 and two 40 second hand Gins in first-class re pair for sale at *t per saw, all warrant ed. REPAIRING A SPECIALTY. Shop on Lee street, Americus. Ga. aug 18-1 m P. L. MIZE. All of the popular patent inedicinet ami a few of the unpopular ones as Dr. Eldridgc’s Drug Store. THU STOLEN NOTE. ! Except that he indulged too freely in the use of the intoxicating cup, John i Wallace was an honest, high-minded and oxtraordinaiy man. llisonegreat fault hung like a dark shadow over his many virtues. He meant well, and j when he was sober he did well. He was a hatter by trade, and by in dustry and thrift he had secured money : enough to buy the house in which he i lived. He had purchased it several ! years before for three thousand dollars, paying one thousand down and secur- I ing the balance by moitgage to the ! seller. i The mortgage .vas almost due at the time circumstances made me acquaint ed with the affairs of the family. But j Wallace was ready fur the day; he had 1 saved up the money; there seemed to be no possibility of an accident. I was well acquainted with Wallace, having done some little collecting and drawn jup legal documents for him. One. day his daughter Annie came to my ollicc | in great distress, declaring that her father was ruined, and that they should |be turned out of the house in which ; they lived. “Perhaps not, Miss Wallace,” said I trying to console her, and give the | affair, whatever it was, a bright aspect. “What has happened?” “My father,” she replied, “had the money to pay the mortgage on the house in which we live, but it is all | gone now.” | “Hat he lost it?” “I don’t know. I suppose so. Last I week he drew two thousand dollars I from the hank and lent it to Mr. Bryce | for ten days.” “Who is Mr. Bryce?” “lie is a broker. My father got ac | quainted with him through George j Ghandler, who boards with us, and j who is Mr. Bryce’s clerk.” I “Does Mr. Bryce refuse to pay it?” “lie says he has paid it.” “Well, what is the trouble, then?” “Father,says he has not paid it.” “Indeed! But the note will prove that he has not paid it. Of course, you have the note! “No. Mr. Bryce has it.” “Then, of course, he has paid it?” “I suppose he has, or he could not have the note.” “What does your father say?” “He is positive he never received the money. The mortgage, lie says, must be paid to-morrow.” “Very singular! Was your father—” 1 hesitated to use the unpleasant word which must have grated harshly on the ear of the devoted girl. “Mr. Bryce says father was not quite light when he paid him, bnt not very bad.” “I will see your father.” “He is coming up here in a few mo ments; 1 thought 1 would see you iirst and tell you the facts before he came.” “1 do not see how Bryce could have obtained the note unless he paid the money. Where did your father keep it?” “He gave it to me, and I put it in the secretary.” Who was in the room when you put it in the secretary?” “Mr. Bryce, George Chandler, my father and myself.” Tho conversation was hero interrupt ed by the entrance of Wallace. He looked pale and haggard, as much from the effects of anxiety as from the de bauch from which he was recovering. “She has told you about it, i sup pose?” said he, in a very low tone. “She has.” I pitied him, poor fellow, for two thousand dollars was a large sum for him to accumulate in his little busi ness. The loss of it would make the future look like a desert to him. I: would boa misfortune which one must, undergo to appreciate. “What passed between you on that day?” “Well, 1 merely stepped iuto his of fice—it was only the day before yester day—to tell him not to forget to have the money ready for me by to-morrow. He took me back into his office, and as I sat there he said he would get the money ready the next day. He then left me and went into the front office, whore I heard him send George out to tho bank, to draw a check for two thousand dollars, so 1 supposed he was going to pay mu then.” “What does tho clerk say about it.” “Ho says Mr. Bryce remarked when he sent him, that ho was going to pay me tho money.” “Just so.” And when George came in ho went into the front oflice again and took the money. Then he came to me again and did not offer to pay me the money.” “Had you the note with you?” “No; now I remember he said he supposed I had not the note with me or he would pay it. 1 told him to come in the next day and I would have it ready —that was yesterday. When 1 came to look for the note it could not ho found. Annie and I have hunted the house all over.” “You told Bryce so?” “1 did. lie laughed and showed me his note, with his signature crossed over with ink and a hole punched through it.” “It is plain Mr. Wallace, that he paid you the money, as alleged, or has ob tained fraudulent possession of the note, anil intends to cheat yon out of the amount. “He never paid me,” he replied firmly. “Then ho has fraudulently obtained possession of tho note. What Sort of a person is that Chandler, who boards with you.” “A fine young man. Bless you, he would not do anything of that kind.” “I am sure he would not,” repeated Annie, earnestly. “How else could Bryce obtain the note but through him? What time does he come home at night.” “Always at tea time, lie never goes out in the evening.” “But, father, he did not come home till ten o’clock the night before you went to Bryce’s. He had to stay in the office to post books or souiethingof the kind.” “How did he get in?” “lie has a night key.” “I must see Chandler,” said I. “No harm in seeinghim,”added Mr. Wallace, “I will go for him.” In a few moments he returned with the young man Chandler, who, in the conversation 1 had with him, manifest ed a very lively interest in the solution ot the mystery, and professed himself ready to do anything to forward niv views. “When did yon letnrn to the house on Thursday night?” “About twelve.” “Twelve,” said Annie, “it was not more than ton when I heard you.” “The clock struck twelve as I turn ed the corner of the street,” replied Chandler, positively. “1 certainly heard someone in the front room at ten,” said Annie, looking with astonishment at those around her. “We’re getting at something,” said I. “How did you get in?” The young man smiled as he glanced at Annie, and said: “On arriving at the door I found I had lost my night-key. At that mo ment a watchman happened along and I told him my situation. He knew me, and taking a ladder from an unfin ished house opposite placed it against one of the second story windows, and I entered in that way.” “Good. Now, who was it that was heard in the parlor unless it was Bryce or one of his accomplices? He must have taken the key from your pocket, Chandler, and stolen the note from the secretary. At any rate I will charge him with the crime, let what may hap pen. Perhaps he will confess when hard pushed.” Acting upon this thought, 1 wrote a lawyer’s letter—“demanded against you,” etc. —which was immediately sent to Mr. Bryce. Cautioning the parties not to speak of the affair, I dis missed them. B'yce came. “Well, sir, what have you to say against me?” he asked stiffly. “A claim on the part of John Wal lace for $2,000,” replied, poking over my papers and appearing perfectly in different. “Paid it,” ho said, short aspic-crust. “Have you?” said I, looking him sharply in the eye. The rascal quailed, 1 saw that he was a villian. “Nevertheless, if within an hour you do not pay me $2,000 and SIOO for tho trouble and anxiety you have caused my client, at the end of the next you will bo lodgetl in jail to answer a crim inal charge.” “What do you tman, sir?” “I mean what I say. Pay, or take the consequences.” It was a bold charge, and if he had looked like an honest man 1 should not have dared to make it. “I have paid the money, I tell you,” said he; “I have the note in my posses sion.” “Where did you get it?” “I got it when I paid the—” “When you felouiously entered the house of.John Wallace on Thursday night at 10 o’clock, and took the said note from the secretary.” “You have no proof,” said he grasp ing a chair for support. “That is my lookout. I have no time to waste. Will you pay or go to jail?” He saw that the evidence 1 had was too strong for his denial, and he drew his check on the spot for twenty-one hundred dollars, and alter begging me not to mention the atfair, ho sneaked off'. I cashed the check and hastened to Wallace’s house. The reader may judge with what satisfaction he receiv ed it, amt how rejoiced was Annie and her lover. Wallace insisted that I should take SIOO for my trouble; but I was magnanimous to keep only S2O. Wallace signed the pledge, and was ever after a tempera to man. Ho died a few years ago, leaving a handsome property to Chandler and his wife, the marriage between him and Annie hav ing taken place shortly after the above narrated circumstances oceutred.— Truth. A patent medicine manufacturer died in New York last week. Before he died his friends asked him how he would like to ho buried. Ho had just strength left tb say: “Insert me top of column next to reading matter 52 times electro by mail,” ami then he closed his eyes aud then he passed away to that bourne where there are no omissions nor wrong insertions.— 7exas Siftings. Don’t fill the system with quinine in the effort to prevent or cure Fever and Ague. Ayer’s Ague Cure is a far more potent preventive and remedy, with tho advantage of leaving in the body no poisons to produce diz ziness, deafness, headache, and other disorders. The proprietors warrant it. j FOUR DOLLARS PER ANNUM. A Curious Coincidence. Hartford G'ourant. Bishop Coxe relates that on one occa sion he was reading the service in a lit tle church, with only a handful of wor shipers present, when he suddenly re solved to close the Psaiter with tho Gloria in Excelsis instead of the custo mary Gloria Patri. He had nevei done this before, he says, and has never done it since. During the day he was called upon by a widow "of high position in socie ty and a family eminent in the history of our country.” She asked him wheth er he had been desired by any of her relatives to gratify her by departing from custom. She had always made this day one of special private devo tion, as it was the anniversary of her husband’s death. She had made an effort to be at chnrch that morning on this account. “What ■•was my sur prise,” she said, “to hoar you break off’ with the “Gloria in Excelsis.” My husband, very reticent as to his relig ions emotions, lay dying. Suddenly he aroused himself, and to the amaze ment of all recited the “Gloria” entire. Reflecting on this as 1 went to church on this anniversary, imagine my sur prise when, for the only t ime in a long life, 1 found the “Gloria” so used by the clergyman. I joined in it with feelings greatly excited, and come to thank you for so kindly considering mo.” Her husband was a stranger to tbe bishop who regards the whole in cident as supernatural. A Voung- Man Lectures a Preach er. Once upon a time, and not very long ago either, a reverend gentleman enter ed the Baltimore and Ohio railway cars with three pieces of baggage, which he deposited in three different seats, and then seated himself in the fourth. Many passengers entered and looked inquiringly at those seats, but in vain. By and by he took out a Bible and began to read. A youth sit ting near asked to borrow the Bible, after making some commonplace re marks upon the excellent type and good binding, suddenly said, in a tone which could be heard all around; “I will read a few passages from Paul’s Epistle to James. ‘Be ye kind and obliging to one another. Thou shouldst not occupy more than three or four seats when thou ridest in the cars, for if thou doest this thing thou greatly discommodest thy beloved brethren and sisters in the Lord Jesus Christ..’ Good by, sir, Igetoutat this station.” And the young man of joking sarcasm disappeared. Bat he left a huge and long-continued tumult of merriment in that car.— JCx. LITTLE LAUGHS. If there is anything calculated to fill the palpitating bosom of an ardent lover with dismay, and make him feel like a badly henpecked husband, it is, when he lias started up a tender sonata on his guitar, to hear a robust tom eat in the vicinity stait a piece in its own composition in a higher key. Too much of a good thing.—John Bull (who is asked to subscribe toward the Cottage home for Overwoiked School Board Children): “Confound it! my hand is never out of my pocket. First I have to pay for theireducation, and because that has made ’em so queer I am now asked to pay the doc tor’s bill!” A smooth-faced, clerical looking chap approached the general passenger agent of a Western railroad and gently inquired: “Will you kindly give me a pass to Chicago?” “Certainly,” said the gentlemanly agent handing him a package. When he took his seat on the train the pass seeker tore off the wrapper aud found a quart llask of old rye whisky. “Wal, neow, will yon look at that, feller,” said a gentleman from the country, laying one hand affectionately on the hand of the scribe pointing with the other to a trombone player. “I can take my affidavy 1 saw him run three foot o’ that ere braes tiling down bis throat not half a minute ago; there he goes again; he shoved a yard of that thing into himself then, sir, if it was an inch; he must be frightful holler inside.” It’s a long practice which enables him to do that,” said the re porter. “When he gets done playing on the instrument he swallowed it en tire.” “He wont have no more brass in lion than yon have gut, if lie does, sonny,” said the rustic, perceiving the guide of tho scribe as tbe latter fled from tho wrath to come. If there is anything in the world with more power than a smile, when it is shot oil' from tho right kind of a gun, we have never seen it. Tho smile of a girl will draw a young man from his mother anil bad company. It will teach him to he a man, and he will, if he loves the girl, do nothing that would chase the smile away. The smile of a mother will conquer the wayward child, and compel it to come into camp to he spanked or caressed. Tho smilo of a teacher can do mote with a pupil than a bundle of liazle brush. A good old-fashioned, natural, unaffected smile costs nothing, wears out no costly machinery, but rather oils it and makes it run smooth, and it leave* no hail taste in the im utli.—. Opera Glass. Physicians use Sllliuer’s In dian Vermifuge in I heir practice and pronounce it a first class article. A trial will convince the most skeinc 1 of its intrinsic merit. no. 96.