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■Vol. 2. EROS. 117 JOEL BENTOW -Givi no andsitear, fair move, Eros of Aphrodite bora ..Comos once on earthfto each and all, And spreads tho hoart’s high festival. ££e is the messenger of fate — Gives gifts unto the desolate ; And where ho walks tho sunrise pours ■With lavish hands its rosy stores. Love harbors neither fear nor doubt— ’Tis more than all ths world without ; Its miracles < n wandering eyes Fall with delicio iF, sweet suprise, tin ways of old, in methods ne v Pursued, or whether it piar&ar, Love firmly speaks—nor plans or waits; That is not love which hesitates. His light is finer than the sun's; His faoa shines like Endymion’s ; • ■ His joys are hired from all the sphere*, And grief goes out when he appears. —From Scribner. A (*3m ot Purest Hxy Serene, POSITIVELY THE MASTERPIECE OE THE OP G. WASHINGTON CHILDS, A. M. 0 Pinr.uKr.Pni.v, Feb. 4.—Tbo obituary clerk in the Puilaielphia Telgar office was exceedingly bnsy when I called upon . him the other day. He was pointing out models of mortuary verse by Gr, W- Childs, A. M , 'iti the great’offioe eft ap "book, to the soon ot solem ied vis.igad applicants wh > tile l up to the desk. The obituary clerk nodded pleasantly to 'tie :anl beaconed into stand by him, think ing, doubtless, that I bad coma to study with hiintho latestshalaws o' the som bre mind of <l. W. Childs,' A. M. He was mistaken. Mine was even a sadder errand. My cousin, flans Opponhehnir, .the kilsvnine minufaatiirer, hid d-parU ed thUHIA u.i o'te day prevlo.is, mm. ml with a find exertion, requeste 1 that I secure a fitting p >em from the haul of the laureate of funeral p vesy to gram bis tombstone an 1 b s publnhe l in tin Le Ijer. M inths ago, I procured a poem upon the death of his father, the carp t weaver, whiu i began as follows : O, death comes when we least expect, The chosen people to s loot; Thus Oppenheimer, the carpet weaver, Was o imo l off by bib .as fever ! Up in realing this, Urns, who had not previous y manifested much concern, was prostrated by the violence of his e motion and never recovered. I’lms it seemed fitting that he, to >, snould le ceive poetic honor after death. When I was left alone with the clerk, I stated my wishes to him. Fortunately, G. W. Childs’ A. M., was at his desk up stairs, and upon inquiry was found to be iu a condition of inspired sadness. The clerk dashed off the words, ‘'Hans Open heimer—kalsomiuor —original, on a piece of paper, and sent it up by the dumb-waiter. In one minute and thir teen seqonds the following verse was in the clerks hands : Life is a pathway to the tomb— The tomb is but an open door. Through which to everlasting light pr gloom .We mortals pass forevermore. With us there’s one less kalsominer, But heaven has gained an Opeu heimer. Then why these tears ; this grief . Poor Opeuheimer’s got relief. Gone to meet the carpet weaver. G. W. C., A. M.—s£so “What !” screamed the clerk, noticing the expression of disappointment on ray face. “What! You don’t—you can’t— you dare not say— “ Quite the contrary,” I replied, “only I would rather— “Urnph ! I see !” the clerk sheered. After sending another missive to the master poet, he continued, pitifully : ‘but, pfter all, you’re not at fault t you re as God made you. But Shakespeare! (dra matically) Shakespeare would have gloat ed over the art, the finish, of this little verse, and Milton would have envied its composer.” The clerk was interrupted py the descent of the dumb-waiter with this from up stairs : • The Openheimers, deep in gloom, Are peering down into the tomb. There lies Hans, in death reclining, Tired of life and’kalsomining. Long their faces, deep their sighs, Diaped their door knobs, wet their eyes— Gone, but not forgotten. G. W. C., A. M.—52.21 I was not dissembling when I allowed g. smile to wreathe my face. I was en raptured. The clerk leaped over the counter and enfolded me in his arm3. “Eh, what ? said he. £Je could say Jio more. Ati, indeed, I replied too full of joy or other words. Ik iMatc tkipitr, Than the clerk seised my hand and seemed to try to give utteranoo to what he felt within him. When our’happi ness bad thus been expressed, [ counted out the money for tho poem, and as I did, there came a rattling at the rope o f the dumb-waiter. The clerk pulled tho waiter down, and brought from it a scrap ot paper upon which this this was writ ten : “Catch that Openhehner man nnl show him this. I consider it the crown ing stroke l G. W. ffmti)*, A. M. Openheimcr—Openhoim— Yesterday began to climb To the regions of the b est, To the land of endless rest. On the further shore he’s shining, Troubled not with kalsomiuiug. Opertheim—Openhei ava il as beeoiiie a heavenward- climb er. G W. C., A, M—ss. I will not endeavor to describe the scene that followed the reading of this marvel of poesy. Suffice it to say I bad it published in, the heelger, engraved on the coffin plate, embroidered on silk and framed, and intend to order it carved on my cousin’s tombstone, where it shall former attest the solemn supremacy ot this laureate of 111 2 grave.—A. Ti Sun. TOM PAINE. AIV P YE-WITNESS* STORY OF IIIS OAST HOURS. To the Elihrof the Press Sir: 1 real in a late paper an ac count of a meeting.he’d in this ciiy for the purpose of celebrating the birthday of Thomas Paine. Among other per formances, a manuscript eulogy of Paine was read by a gentleman described as “a tall, gray-haired man of fine presence and excellent voice.” One might infer from tliis description of the personal ap pearance and apparent age ot the eulo gist, that in contradicting the common belief rejecting the hero of bis narra tive, that he died a drunkard and debau-. — rfAiessod ot information which hitherto h.v! i- -u --press- Tlie writer of this communi cation wai more than litty years ago a resident of New llooholle, N. Y., wiivrc the bo ly of Paine wai burled. His .rrave was in one c irnorof a farm, which, havin g been confiscated as the property of a T >ry daring the Revolutionary War, ha 1 been presented by th.c State of New York for his p itri jti.tr serv.se in aid of the ll volu i> t A monfi n ■ lit, erected by fiienllv buds, marked .flu place of his burial. Ilia bones hid not then bean real ive 1, as they after.yards were, to Eaglati 1, for no good object on the part of those who under cover ot the night disinterred, boxed, and carried (hem -uvay. On this tana he spent hi* latter <1 lys with a solitary (eraile atten dant. I have heard Ihe physician who visited him describe the condition in which he was accustomed to hud his pa tient, aud to which his vicious habits, and especially his habitual drunkenness had reduced him. This lie represented as revolting to his sensibilities, making even bis necessary calls to i rescribe foi his relief exceedingly unwelcome and repulsive. This physician was an es teemed elder in the church of which i was at that time pastor, highly regarded not only tor his skill in his profession, but a man of sound judgement and un impeachable veracity- He has been dead ' many years. But the name of Matson Smith, M. D , is still held in honored remembrance by all who knew him. His grandson, Rev. Matson Men 1 Smith, D. D, is stated, is about to le move from Hartford, Ot., to this city to become a professor in the Episcopal Di vinity School. The animus of the arti cle, which the above statement is intend ed to contradict, appears plainly in the article itself* While the audacity of its aspersions forbids tjie hope that the eu logist himself will acknowledge his er ror, it is prooer that others, who might else be misled by it, should understand that the i‘eal motive to this perversion of the facts of history must hare been lias tred of Christianity, and especially of its ministeis, the clergy of all denomina tions. This is the writer's language, quoted from the account given of the famous birthday celebration : ‘The stories of his drunkenness and licen tiousness are the wicked invention of the clergy whose path he had dared to cross and who only refrain from practicing the abominable cruelties of the past ages upon those who differ from them, not because of want of will, but because their streugth is shorn.” J. D. W. 1922 Mocht Vernon St., Philadelphia. FLIZE. BY MOZIS ADDUM3 . (Dlt. U. W. BAGBY). Ihateafli., A fls got R 0 manners. Ue ain,l no eentlemun. He’s a introoder, don’t send m no kard, nor axa interducsbun, nor don’t knok at the frunt door, and nuver, nuver thinx uv takiu ofl his hat. _ Fust thing you know hens m bed with ybu and up your nose—tho what he wants up thar is a mistry— and ne in vites hisself to brekfast and sets down in your butter thout breshin his pants. ITe helps hisself to sugar, and meat, and rnelasses, and bred, and preserves, and vinegy, enoyteing, and dont wait tor no invertashuu. He s got a goon appytite, and just as sune eat one thing a s anutjjer. CONYERS, GEORGIA.: THUIHDAY. E EBRUAIIY 17, ISTG. i aiut no use to challenge him foi tak in liberties ; he kfepvs np a hostile kor espondenCe with you. wither or not, and shoots hisself at you like a bullit, and he miver misses, miver. lie’ll kiss yore wile 20 times a day and si tr. and zoo, and ridikule you if you say a word, and he’d rut her you’d slay at him than not, ooze lie s a dodger uv thedodginist kind. Every time you slap, you don’t slap him, but slap yoself, aud he /fizzes and pints tho hind leg of skorn at you till ho ag grevates you to distrackshin. He glories in Hghtin every pop on the exact spot whar you druvhim from wio 1 ' pruves the mteiishun to teeze you. Do not tell me he aiht got no mind ; he knows what he is arfter. He’s got seuss and too much uv it, tho he nuver went to school a day- of his life except in a sugar dish. lie’s a mean, milliguunt, owdashus, premeditated cAs, Ilis inuth er nuvei paddled him with a slipper in her life. His mortals was niglictod, and he lacks a good deal uv humility mitely., Heaint bashful a bit, ahd I doubts qt he blushes oftiug. In fact, ho nuver whs fotclj.ed up at all. He was born full grown j he don't get pld nuther. Things gits old; but he nuver gits ipd— and lie is imperdeut and mischevus to the day of hisdeth. lie droops in cold weather, and you kiu mash him on a winder-pane, but you be jes put your finger in it. He cams agin nex yeer, and a heap mo with him. Taiut no use. One fli to a family might do fur a musement, but the go<Td uv so luauny flize I bectog ef I kin see. lain youf I have thort much about flize, and I Ins notist how oftiug they stops in thar develu-y to comb thar beds aud skrateh thar noses with thiir forelegs, and gouge thar arm-pits under tlugr wings and the tops of thar wings With- hind legs, and my kandid opinyun ar that flize is lowsy ; the eeches all the time, is mjsurbul, and that makes em bad tempered, and want uther peeplo misurbul top. Ef that aint the filosofy, I give it up. Altho a fli don’t send iu his kard, he al ways leaves one, and don’t like it. It aint pritty ef tis round. He kah‘t make a cross mark, only a ilot, and lie is always a dottin whar thar aint no is. Thar’s iio een,d to his periods, but he miver cuius to a full stop. , .I’avtiss, bht’his iresiioo and wail inpCTih I don't admire. His specs is the only specs help fko eyes. You c-an’t see thro urn, and you don't want too. I hate a fli. Durfl' a fli. Jeff. Davis’ Keply to Blame. In a recent Liter to a friend, Air. D.re bis speaking of Blaine's charge of South ern inhumanity to Fcdeiai prisoners says: TKs foul accusation, though directod speci alty against me, was no doubt intended, and naturally must be the arraignment of the South, by whose authority and in whose be half n;y deeds were done- It may be presum ed that tho feelings and the habits of the Southern soldiers were understood by me, and in that connection any fair mind would per ceive in my congratulatory orders to the army, after a victory in which the troops were moat commended for their tenderness and. generosi ty to the wounded and other captives, as well as the instincts of the person who issued the order as the knightly temper of the soldiers to whom it was addressed. It is admitted that the prisoners in our hands were not as well provided for as we would, but it is claim ed that we did as well for them os we eouhl. Can the other side say as much ? To the hold allegations of ill-treatment of prisoners by our side, and humane treatment and adequate supplies,by our opponents, itis only.necessary to offer two facts: First : It appears from the reports of the United States War Department that, though we had 60,000 more" Federal prisoners than they had of Confederates, 6,000 more of Con federal es died in Northern prisons. Second : The want and suffering of men iri Northern prisons caused me to ask for permis sion to send out cotton and buy supplies for them, The request was granted, but only on condition that the cotton should be sent to New-York and the supplies b 6 brought there. Gen. Beale, now of St. .Louie, was authorized to purchase and distribute the needful sup plies. Our sympathy rose with the occasion and responded to its demands, not waiting fqr ten years, then to vaunt: itself, when it could serve no good purpose to the sufferers, under the mellowing influence of timeand occasional demonstrations at the North of a desire for the restoration of peace and good will. Tho Southern people have forgotten much, have forgiven much of the wrongs they bore. If it be less so among their invaders, it is but another example of the rule that the wrongdo er is less able to forgive than he who has suf fered causeles wrong. It is not, hpwever, generally among those who- braved the haz ards of battle that unrelenting vindictiveness is to be found, the brave and generous and ond gentle. It is tha skulkers of the fight, the Blaines, who display their flag on nn un tented field. They made no sacrifice to pre vent the separation of the States. Why should they he expected to promote the con fidence and good v. ill essential to their un ion? safety of raiway travel—Charles Ftancis Adams, Jr.’, has tuade a series et investigations and compiled statistics .showing that only One railroad passen ger in TOOO.OOO is kilted, and only one to !,500’0 )0 is so much as bruised. In the year 1871 only one person was killed on all the Massachusetts railroads, while seventy-six were killed by accident in the city of Boston. ! m m ® The Cotton Mania. 'his proceeds from the idea that it brigs ready money, and the more eot touuado the more money- had. All sun is true if there wus not a debtor shef appended to the cotton account, Bijjwhen cotton money lias to meet all exposes, even to tho buying of bread andmeat, and everything else required Hi.dlhe balance is ma<le, wd see the ac cent stands against tho farmer—the (leb)r side is too large for tho credit diet, the result, is in debt. The next yean operations begin with debt added to al supplies needed, all have to pe boufit on credit, enlarging exponso no com; against cotton account. Farming undr srfcli a system as this ensnares the line ruin that would undoubtedly com upon tho man who, having his wlioe capital in money, was living abo? tbo inteaest, and drawing con stanly upon tho principal to support his xtravagance. Charcoal for Sick Animals. Nearly all sick animals become so by irapoper feeding in the fi-st place. Nin eases out of ten the digestion is \yi-fkg. Charcoal is the most efficient andrapid- corrective. It will cure a majority of cases, if proprly administered. An example of its ues: The hired man came in with the ntellegenee that one of Ike finest co iv was very sick, and a ’kini neigh bor u-oposed the usual drugs and pois ons. The owner being ill and unable to eiamine the cow, concluded that the tvouile came-from overeating, and or dord a teaspoonful of pulverized chare eoalto be given in water. It was mixed, placid in a j ..nk'boljlle,. the head turned upward, and the water turned down- wart In five minutes improvement wasyisible, ami in a fe w‘hours, the ani malwas in the pasUirp quietly grazing. Ancther instance of equal success occur red with a young heifer which had l>e„ cone badly bloated by eating green appes after a hard wiud. The bloat waejso severe that the sides \yere as hail as a barrel. The old remedy, ax otov v-vAim 7CVj‘KVii\ ; f' *▼. vAV* n always caused coughing, and it did lit tle good. Half a teaoupful of fresh powered charcoal was givei. In six hours all appearance ot the bloat had gone, and the heifer was well, Corn—Value of Deep Plowing. There is nothing nibi'9 beneficial than c'ose cultivation. Put on’y so much land under cultivation that you can cul tivate thoroughly. You will make more grain to the acre, and will “put money in thy pocket” by the result. The value of deep plowing is mani fested by the admirable consequences. Western farmers, of great experience, hold that the difference in a crop of porn between slovenly and thorough cultivation, even where stimulants can not be conveniently or profifibly applied is one-half, or twice as much from good as frarn indifferent" treatment. A St. Louis paper quotes some very notable instances of these facts: “In 1873, a Mr. Hudson raised On one acre of ground on the “Oakridge Farm,” in Amherst county, Virginia, 170 bush els of white corn ; the fact being attest ed by Mr. Fortune, a notary ot the county. A copy of the “Virginia Far mers’' Register/’ printed by Edmund Ruffin, at Petersburg; thirty-five years ago, has this sta'ement “Mr. Meggi sou, of Albemarle county, was reported by the county society to have raised 110 bushels of sound shelled corn on one measured acre of ground, being river bottom and thoroughly cultivated ; a large white sort of a corn.” In the I)e- partraent of Agriculture report for 1868 there is an authenticated statement that Joseph Goodrich and Luther Page, of Worcester, Massachusetts, each raised 111 bushels of shelled corn on one acre of ground ; and the same report gives instances in Ohio where ‘99 and 101 bushels per acre were raised. The Rockbridge county (Va.) Society, at its meetings in 1671, gave a detailed state ment of the result of competition for the premium for the largest yield of corn : J, D. H. Ross raised On one acre 76 bushels, and on five acves 253 buseels ; A. L. Nelson raised 91 bushels on one acre, and 317 bushels bn five acres, and G. W. Pettigrew raised 94 nasnels on one acre, and 400 bushels on five acres. The treatment in each case consisted ot deep plowing from ten to fourteen inches and the application ot home made compost. Too Much Trouble. The other day two colored citizens met on the walk near the City Hall, one of them angrily exclai rued ; ■ ‘Misser June's, if you doan pay dero seven dollars, de law will be put on you powerful hard.’ ‘Now, doan be onreasonia’,’ replied Jones, in a cajoling voice. ‘But you’s got money in de blank !’ shouted the first. ‘Yes, l know I cud gib a check ou de bank,'but I’se got to get a blank check, borrow pen’n ink, put on my specs, write all' ober de check, go down dar to ’dentify you, fig ger up de loss ob inter, es’, and probable while I w r as in de bank someone ’ud be looking fur me oir de street to hire me at four dollars a day. Dese am de cheif reasons why I doan ! wautto pay de money for do next two I weeks., C uuuiing and the Bird’.** Nest. I can rememliQi' an incident in ray childhood, which Inis given a turn to my whole life and character. 1 found a nest of bird* in my father's field which held fqqr young ones. ’They had, no dotVn ( n tnem when f first diseovtix ed them. They onened their jifiFe mouths ns if they \y,re hungry, and I gave them soms erainbs which were in my pocket. Every day I returned to feed them. As soon as school was dono I would run home for some bread, and sit by the nest to sea them eat for an hour at a timo. * * * * They weie now feathered and almost ready to fly. When I came one morning I found them all cut up into quarters. The grass round the nest was red with blood. Their litto limbs were raw and bloody. Tho mother was on thr ties and the fatlier on the wall, mourning for their young. 1 oried, myself, for I was a child. 1 thought, too, that the parents looked on me as the author of their miseries, and this made ’me still more unhappy. I wanted to undeceive them. I wanted to sympathise with and comfort them.—When I left the field they followed mo with their eyes and with mournful reproaohe**. I was too young and tbo sincere in my grief to make any apostrophes, lint I can never forget my feelings. The impres sion will never be worn away, nor can I cease to abhor every species of inhu manity towards inferior animals.— C'hun ning s Menidirs. Tne Distrks* in Nbw Enutand. —An observing gentleman writing from one of the most tavo' ed parts ot the State of New Hampshire tit' the e'ditdr of the Manchester Union, says: “Never before within the past thirty years has the la boring classes suffered so mil oh for want of employment. In every town, in every village ot considerable size men are trav eling from place to plane making con staut application lor work, and still there is no work to lie found. MaYy of these are good, honest men, who have' Men turned oat of tfieir places in factories and work-shops because there is no demand lor the goods they are producing. It is uncom i uieti ! have more, something to carry nome w their wife aud children, and when they cannot obtain woik at any price, ifeeir only alternative is to call on the town for help, and the consequence is that the per cent, ot pauperage is greater than ever before known in this section of our State. A Clever Huso. A Paris paper says: A gentleman Was seated before the Cafe 11 iclie, when a young artist passed with a.companion. “I will bet yon,” said the artist to his friend, ‘I will drink that gentleman’s cot lee, and he will thank me for doing it.’ ‘Mon are crazy.’ ‘\ou will see.’ ‘Yoy know him then.’ ‘Gome and sue the proceedings for yourself.’ * ' Veiy solemnly llwy approached the gentleman. ‘Sir,” said the artist, I am an inspector of the Board <4 Health. It I ask fora cup tfiey will give, me without doubt a very good cup, lor they know mo. You, sir, whom they do not know, are served like the rest of the world. )' G “- permit me to taste your coffee ?’ ‘Certainly,’ said the gentleman, ‘this is very good, the government has great care over the people, The police cm not be too watchful over the public health. The artist drank the coffee, and hav ing finished it said politely, fthoy do things properly at this cate ; this is ex cellent coffee.’ He bowed, and left the gentleman to pay for the coffee be had not had, but profoundly grateful (or the care ot the government. Vituperation as a Fine Art. The bitterness with which public men assail one another is not a latterday fash ion. From a recent publication, entitled the “Memoirs of John Quincy Adams,” examples of venomous criticism aud al most diabolical diatribe are found upon very many pages. The following illuss trations are cited t “In 1831, he charges upon Jackson, the working up of a circumstantial fab rication by practicing upon tho driveling dotage ot a political parasite, in order to ‘qUiet the stings of his own conscience lor the baseness of his ingratitude to me.’ About the same time he calls such editors of Jackson newspapers as Isaac Hill, of New Hampshire, ‘electioneering skunks.’ lie found in Littleton Waller Tazewell, of Virginia, in 1829, ‘a never- dying personal hatred of me, because I once told him, at my own table, upon his pertinaciously insisting that Tokay and Rhenish were muoh alike to me in taste, that I did not believe he had ever drank a drop of Tokay in bis life. He had provoked this retort by saying, a few minutes before, ‘that he had never known a Unitarian who did not believe in the sea-serpent.’ 1 made him an apology, some months afterwards, for the rudeness of my speech, which he accepted: but 1 the shaft was sped barbed with truth, | and it will rankle in his side to bis <ly jrn, hour.'. Is not this delightful? In 1833, when Harvard College was going to make Gen. Jackson a doctor of laws, Mr Adams told President Quincy lie would not go to the commencement to witness tho disgrace of 'the college ‘in conferiug hev highest literary honors up-, on abarhamui who could not 'write a' sentence of grammar, and hardly sign' liis own name.’ He adds, that ‘time ser ving and sycophancy are qualities of all learned and scihrfifip mstitnfichia.' It this is a fair epectmprr of, die “pure eilsseduess" ot such men *s Mr. Adams, in days not very far remote, ths.in.pre ro-' cent exhibitions of our political cham pions can no| fip sqt down ap a prppf of tho degeneracy of the age ip/ which, they live to wag tilth- tongue* linen tiously. ■ hhmtill—aw■ . , # COFFEE. At the time Columbus discovered, America, coffee had never boart known or used. It only grew in Arabia or up per Utopijj,. T.he discovery df ils'iufe as ii Beverage is asdrlbed td tho a monastry in Arabia, who. desirous of preventing the monks from sleeping at' thoir nocturnal services, them drink an infusion of coffee, oil the reports df shepherds, w ho observed that t'helr flocks were more lively after browsing on the fruit ot that plant. Its reputation spread through the adjacent countries, and in a- * bout two hundred years, ii had reacln-d Paris, A single plant brought there in 1114, became the parent stock of all the French coffee plantations in the VVest, Indies. The Dutch introduced ip Jpvii ami the East Indies, and the French and Spanish all over South America and the West Indies. The extent of the con sumption now can hardly be realised. The United States alorie annually con suioe it at the cost, on its laiulbigf, of tran fifteen to sixteen million dollars. Professor Houghton of the Vpiver'Ay. ofDublin has been investigating tb* jeot of humane hangiiw i,e states that Mr. Gibson,' —rgeon Ht Newgate, has irequehtly seen the victim struggle tor more than twenty minutes before becom ing inanimate, and proceeds to ssiy V 1. That the old system of taking the conv- ; A ,t j;,, l-*- iUn la Uilwinwm.poiiital, i.vnlnmvnd or.il i'Altin(r to the spectators whose doty it is to be present. 3. That the object of an ef fective execution by suspension should bo th immodiate rupture of the spinal column by the fall. 3. That the use of a “long drop ’ is not only much prefer-, blc from a humanitarian point ot'view, but is the only method by which the de sired object can He effectually attained. 4. That the short fait and position of tho knot employed for So many yenrs by Calcrafl are barbarisms which should, cease to be permitted, 5. That the frac ture of the spinal column can best be instantaneously effected by placing the, knot under the chin and allowing a fait of at least ten feet. 0. That in the car rying oat of a capital sentence care shmi Id be exercised in the selection of a suit able rope. In the execution of llenry Wainwrig!it it would seem from the pub lished accounts that these j>r inuiples were adopted by Mai wood, the ex,ecutiwr, and with perfect success, any} .the io*tU** taneous rnptnre of the spine resulted , placing the knot under the culprit’? cln-n. ■ ■. } fvny:iffy** j — ■ How They Fixed It. A New Yorker while journeying tiie other day, was recognized by another citizen doing business near the Bow#y, be being also away from home on busi ness, and after a little preliminary con versation, the first remarked s— “Well, I hear that you had to make an assignment.” “Yes, dat is drew,” replied the other. “And your brother, over cn Chatham street; he assigned too, didn't he V “You zee it was shust like dia,” said the Bowery man. “I vfias owing H good deal, and Jacob vhas owiifg k good deal. I makes over my stock to Jacob and Jacob makes over bis stock tome, and I do bis peesness and' ho does my peesness, and detn vellerS vhas was after money doan get Some!” /f y/; : i ' A IffODEL STUDENT, The Rev. Dr. Richie, of Edinbm r, though a very clever man, once met with' bis match. When examining a student as to the classes he attended, said: And you attended the class for math matics?” “Yes.” “How many sitji has a circle? “Two.” said the student. “What are they?” What a laugh in court the student,s answer produced when he said, “An in side and outside!’ • • . ' The doctor next inquired, “And you attended the moral philosophy class; also V “Yes.’ “Well you Would hear lectures on various subjects. Did you ever heaff one on cause and effect?’ “Yes.’ “Give me an instance.’ “ A man wheeling a whoefbarrow. The doctor then sat down and pro posed no more questions. iSTo. 30.