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im SUBSCRIPTION ONF TEAK- *2 OO SIX MONTHS i OO THUGS MONTHS 50 CLUB BATES, FIVE COPIES, or less than 10, each 1 75 TEN COPIES, or more, each, 1 50 Tmm—Caah in advance. No paper sent until money received. ▲ll papen Hopped at the expiration of time, unless renewed. THE . B if ROCKDALE REGISTER ~ PUBLBHED.EVERY THURSDAY, BY TIIE ROCKDALE REGISTER PUBLISHING CO., AT CONYERS, GEORGIA. HATKB Ol" StJBSCRirTION : One Year, 00 s>ix Months, j qq Three Months, 50 Chibs of Five or more, 25 per cent, less I The .Register is a large 24 column paper. The Register is the Old Reliable., THE REGISTER Will give you the General and Local News. democratic at all times and under all circumstances / o The Political Campaign for 1876—the Cen lonuu year—is uuw upuueu. SUBSCRIBE FOR THE REGISTER And keep posted on the coming issues of the day. Within the next six months, every elective Office in the United States, from Bailiff to President, will be elected. The Campaign will be “Red Hot and still a Heating." The most vital issues are in this Campaign. Subscribe for The Register, the Old Relict tie, and keep up with the Times! WHEREVER IT HAS BEEN TRIED has established itself as a perfect regulator and sure remedy for disorders o' the system arising from improper action of the Liver and Bowblb IT IS NOT A FHYSI. but, by stimulating the secretive organa .y and gradually re moves all impurities nd regulates the entire system IT IS NOT A DOCTORED BITTERS, but VEGETABLE TONIC which assists digestion, and thus stimulates, the appetite forfood necessary to invigorate the weakened and inactive organs, and gives strength to all the vita) forces. IT CARRIESITB OWN RECOMMENDA TION, as the large andrapidly increasing sales gistify. se Price : One Dollar a bottle. Ask your drug t tfor it. JOHNSON, HOLLO WAY & CO Wholesale Agents,Phila., A CARD. Uk. D S. SOUTHWICK, one of the most successful physicians of New Orleans, hag lo cated in Atlanta. Confidential Medical Ad viser for all persons afflicted; also, sole pro prietor of his oelebrated - recently discov ? moron and § ed ’ and PUR£LY : - TOBACCO ! VEGETABLE; ; antidote : over Beven hun § ’ § dred cured; gnar : antee* all cases PEABODY HOUSE CORKER OP LOCUST ANIX NINTH STREETS., PHILADELPHIA, PA. Convenient te all places of amusement and **r lines in the city. No changes to and from the Centennial Grounds. Col. Watson, proprietor of the Henry House, Cincinnati for the past twenty years, and pres-' *®t P rG prietor, has leased the house for a term *■ years, and has newly furnished and fitted it wr wghout. He will keep a strictly first-class house, and has accommodation for 300 guests. 1 erms only (3 per day. Cel. Watson is a native of Virginia, and probably the only Hotel Proprietor in Phila aelphia from the South.- Dsy ehomancy, ot Soul' Charming,” How ~ eit her ser may fascinate and gain the love 1 5 affections of any person they choose instant v- This simple,mental acquirement all can Possess, free, by mail, for 25cts, together with guide, Egyptian Oracle, Dreams, ****•- tn La lies, Wedding-Night Shirt, Ac. A , tfMMrbnot. Address IV William A Cos.. Pub- Philadsiphia. Vfy-M- Vol. 2. Nebuchadnezzar, You, Nebuohadnezzar, whoa, sah ! Where is you trying to go, sah ? 1 and hab you for to know, sah, Isa- hoi den ob de lines. You better stop dat prancin'; You h po ful fond ob dancin’, But I’ll bet .-\y yeah’s advancin’, I>at 1U ci re you ob your shines. Look heeh, mule ! Better min’ out - P ust ting you know you’ll fin’ out How quick I’ll wear dis line out On your ugly, stubbo’n back, You needn t try to steal up An’ lif dat preoious heel up • You s got to plough dis fiel’ up. You has, sah, for a fac’. Bar, dat s de way to do it! He s cornin’ right down to it ; Jes watch him ploughin’ t’roo it! Dis nigger ain’t no fool. Some folks dey would a-beat him— Now, dat would only heat him: I know jes’ how to troat him; You mus’ reason wid a mule. He minds me like a nigger. If he was only bigger and fotch a migbty figger* He would, I tell you ! Yes, sah ! See how he keeps a clickin’! He s as gentle as a chicken, An nebber thinks ob kicken— Who a, dor / Nebuchadnezzar ! **** # * . Is dis heah me, or not me ? Or is de debbil got me ? Was data cannon dat shot me ? Hab I laid heah more'n a week ? Hat mule do kick amazin’! He beast was sp’iled in raizin'— But I ’spect he s grazin' On de oder side de creek. —[Scribner’s Monthly. A MATRIMONIAL burect SOME OF THE FEATURES OF THE NEW INSTI TUTION IN SAN FKANCISCO, Applicants during office hours will have the satisfaction of knowing that curious ones on the other side °o( the street can and doubtless will obtain an uninterrupted view ot their approach and departure. In the ladies’ depart ment a collection of the photographs of the male applicants will be kept, and vice versa in the gentlemen’s depart ment. No applicants of doubtful char acter will be received, and any one am bitious of • ~ ...ovj me fields of married bliss must produce unequivocal testimony of untarnished honor and all the attributes which make a person eligible to private society. The institution being supported by philan thropists, of course the monetary feature of the business is the least conspicuous, but some attention is paid to it in order that the, "bureau” may be self-support.-, ing. A schedule of charges has been scientifically arranged for the benefit of the patrons. The average fee to retain the services of the agent for otm month is $5. At the end of that lime, if a con • genial companion is not found, the agen cy refunds the money. If a marriage is consummated the “bureau" is enriched according to the liberality of the bride groom. No marriage, no money. A healthy man, medium sized, average looks, middle age, is worth $5 to the ‘bureau.’ Take off half a score of years from his Age, add a few inches to his stature, give him a graceful moustache and other items of external grace, and his fee of admission depreciates 50 per cent., for the chances of marrying him off, and the ultimate gains are increased by that amount. On the other hand, if he possesses much oersonal uuloveliness $7 50 is exacted from him before his vanity is gratified by the exhibition of his picture. Red hair is assessed $1 extra ; a glass eye. $3; a cork leg or arm, $5; a slight strabismus, $1 30; a bad squint, s’2 50. baldness entails 75 cents extra, and false teeth, of ordinary manufacture, sl. If the artificial molars are neat and not easily detected, they are allowed to pass without extra charge. Deafness costs - $4 extra. .Blue, gray, and green eyes are not included in the category of good looks. Brown, hazel, and black eyes are worth 50 cents to the owner, for they save him that amount on the fee. Hair that curls without the. suspicion of being‘kinky' is worth $1 Small ears are valued at 25 cents, and little feet and hands atj double that amount.—[San Francisco Post.] ‘Have you seen my black faced ante lope V inquired Mr. Leoscope, who had a collection of animals of bis friend Bot tlejaek. ‘No, I haven’t. Whom did your black faced aunt elope with ?’ ‘Ah, Jemmy,’ said a sympathizing friena, to a man who was just too late for the train, ‘you did Dot run fast enough.’ ‘Yes I did,’ said Jenny, ‘but I didn’t start soon enough.’ ‘My boy,’ said a solemn visaged Evans gelist to a lad who bad just emerged from a hair-pulling match with another boy, ‘do you expect to rove hereafter in a land o£pure delight V ‘No,’ said the lad, *l‘ve busted another button ofPn my trowser* and I expects to git licked lor a CONYERS, C3-A, JUNE* 15, IH7G. Soap ou the' Stairs* A gentleman residing on Aberdeen street was until Friday last, inclined to favor female suffrage. His wife had prudently delayed moving till after the Ist, so as to take advantage of ,the fall of house-rents. The house to which they moved had a tremendously steep flight cf stairs, and an oil-clothed hall, lhe wife had the stairs scrubbed down, and left the soap on the top step. Her husband wis up stairs, with a basket full of clothes-pins in 0110 hand and a clock under the other arm, when his wife who was down stairs, saw a mouse, and shaking her skirts madly, bounded upon the table and let off a series of shrill shrieks beginning on the high ZZZ above the clef. Her husband, thinking the house was on fire at the very least, start ed to run to her rescue, and, stepping on the piece of soap that she had so ! thoughtfully left ou the stairs, sat down vehemently at the top of the flight, and slid down with the speed of thought. Fire flew from his false teeth as die hit the edge of each step, volleys of clothes, pins were discharged into the air and fell rattling and rebounding on the oil cloth, and the clock shed its inward over the universe. The injured husband had little time for reflection when he reached the glare oil-cloth of the hall and shot across it with scarcely diminished veloc ity, literally making the oilcloth and the seat of his pantaloons smoke with fric tion, and finlly bringing up against the door with a violence that threatend to burst the side out of the house. The fearful concussion startled his wife, who turned a back-somersault from the table into a tub of soap-suds, in which she was so tightly wedged that sho had to throw a handspring and canter on all fours like a turtle with a tub or, her back and cataracts of suds inundating her. Meanwhile, the hired womrn fell eff the step-ladder’with a crash like a pile-driver B ° f wfe .Kirsiougi.- ed her tub, she sauntered calmly into the hall and remarked, “VVell, men are the clumsiest—and hall 'h id just been washed, too. ” Her husband did not say much, but he thought a good deal ; and now, he says, just let Susan B. Anthony come and lecture bore again, and it no other man has the courage “to hiss, he will, so help him Jasper Packlemerton.— [ Chicago Tribune. A Hundred Years A e<it A s'ory is told ot a family living in colonial times, whose extravagant habits excited the village. “For the eldest son got a pair of boots, the second an over coat, the third a watoh and the fourth a pair of shoe buckles ; and the neighbors all shook their' heads, and whispered to each other: ‘That family is on the high roftd io insolvency.” Legislation in New England tried to restrain extravagance in dress, and laws were passed against wearing laces, em broidery, needle-work caps and “immod erate great sleeves.” A century we find people making much the same complaints and quoting “good old colonytimes.’ The shoes were of the same material as the dress, often skillfully embroidered. Country girls sometimes carry,the broad cloth shoes with peaked toes in their hands till they got to church ; but l! e pink satin and yellow brocade shoes ot city maidens were supported on clogs and pattens. Mrs. John Adams asked her husband to send her from Philadel phia in 1775, ‘ two yards ot black cala manco for shoes,” saying she could not wear leather if site went barefoot. By way of silently reproving the van ity of their wives and daughters, the sterner sex appeared in immense pow dered wigs, stiffy strrehed ruffles, glitter ing knee and shoe puckles, trimmed with great gilt or silver buttons With elabo rate wardrobes of the men to keep in order, what wonder the women had no time to cultivate their “squirrels’ brains ? to quote one of the gallant croakers of the time. After all, we fancy the most ardent lovers of the past would hardly be in favor of the early days ot the republic. With the mahogony sideboard rescued from oblivion, the spinning wheel sei up in the parlor, and the quaint china tea set upon the closet shelves, we can all cry: **oh I those pleasant times of old, with their chivalry and.state, I loVe to read their chronieles which such brave deeds relate. I love to sing their ancient rhymes, to bear their legends told— But Hoaveu be thanked I live not in those bkssfed times of old!" An exchange asks: “If there is a place for everything, where is the place for a boil f The best place for such an ornament is on some other fellow. An Obtuse Man. She was a stylish young lady about 18 years old, and to accommodate a friend she took the baby out tor an air ing. She was wheeling it up and down the walk when an oldish man, very deaf came along and inquired for a certain person supposed to live on that street. She nearly yelled Jier head off trying to answer him, and he looked around and caught sight of the baby, and said : ‘Nice child, that. I suppose you feel proud of him ? ‘lt isn’t mine ! She y>l’ it him. ‘Boy, eh ? Well lie looks just like you.' ‘lt isn’t mine'! Sfie yelled again, hut he noded his head and coirtnml - : ‘Twins, eh ? Where is ’tother one at ? She started eff with the cab, but lie followed and asked : ‘Did it die ot colic ? Despairing ot making him understand by mouth, she pointed to the baby, to herself, and then shook her head. ‘Yes—yes, I see—’tother twin in the house. There father is fond of them oi course.’ She turned the cab and hurried Jthe other way, 4 but he followed and ask ed i ‘l)o they kick around much at night? ‘I toll you ’taint mine 1 she shouted, turning red in the face. ‘I think you are wrong there 1’ he answered. ‘Children brought up on the bottle ate apt to pine and die.’ She started off on a run lor the gate, before she had opened it he came up and asked : ‘Have to spauk ’em once in a while, I suppose 1 She made about twenty gestures in half a minute, and he helped the cab through the gate ; lb g\VV~~yva~loM advice. Volt-—'’ But she picked up a (lower pot and flung it at him. He'jumped back, and as she entered the house Ire' called out : ‘Hope insanity won’t break out on the twins !’ He Got There. A mart who had been lortg boinbar ded by hard times entered a yard on La fayette avenue yestetday and stfec'hed out in the shade ot a tree. The garden er came out and asked him what busi ness lie had there, and the stranger re plied : •I seek solitude and res*. I want to he far from the maddening crowd.’ •You’ll have to git,’ said the gardener. ‘I shall stay here till I have solved the great problem of life,’ was the quiet an swer. A policeman was brought there to see if he would, aud he seized the old vag's coat collar and inquired i •Will you walk into my parlor?’ ‘I am looking for solitude 1’ shouted the stranger, kicking with all his might. It took three'officers to get him out, tie him and load the body on a wagon, hut he got just where the solitude tvas thick enough to be cut lengthways with an old jack -knife, The seeming prosperity of the wicked is thus alluded to by the Christian in the World : How often does it happen in the his tory of these wilful sinners in the flesh, that after awhile all of these things seem to smile upon them and prosper them according to their heart’s content. Are they mad for gold?—gold see ms to roll in upon them. Are they mad for pleas Ul . e ?—their seductive arts are successful, and victims come ready to their lure. Are they mad for drink ?—those around them cease to strive with them, and give them up fer lost. Shame, too, abandons them. It is very wonderful t.o see how often, it a man is beut on an end, God gives it to him, and it becomes his curse, God does not curse us; he leaves us to onrselves, that is curse enough; and from that curse what arm can save us T We will have it, and we shall have it. We leap through all the barriers which fie has raised around us, though they be rings of blazing fire wo will go through them aDd indulge our desires ; and in a moment He sweeps them all out of our path j perhaps roses spring up to beguile where flames so lately flamed to warm. Saul is a most frightful example of this truth. 0 0 ‘Why is it, dear air,’ said Waffles' landlady to him the other day, ‘that you newspaper men never get rich ? ‘I do not know,’ was his reply, ‘except it is [that dollars and sense do not always I travel together,’ A Family Pyramid- The Louisville Commercial says a party of colored individuals took the JSouth western railroad to visit some relatives near Hakersville, Kentucky. Upon atkiving at the depot tin aforesaid par ties stepped out upon the platform of the car, preparatory to getting off the train, which was passing the platform at the depot The conductor, seeing the dan ger they were in halloed to them not to jump out. The old negro said: “I is going to git off here; white man; you can’t fool me; I is rid on these here things before to-day.” Saying he leaped from 'the oar upon the platform, and it being covered with sleet,- ho skated oft and fell upon the ground beyond, which was at least ten below. The old woman followed his illustrious example, and over she went upon top of the old man. The girl, who weighed about three hundred pounds, followed her mother and became the ' capping stone, so to speak, of the perch, though if an artisan could have seen the pyramid lie would have said the base of it had been turned up. By the time the train stopped, the old African presented himself at the end of the plat form, much flatter in appearance than when he made'his exit. The last we saw of him he was railing out at the top of his voice: “Jist bke*a woman—always wants to visit in bad weather ! And now I’s got to sue de white folks of dis train in de. Federal court for my damages and rights I is going to do dat very thing, if God spares me aud I can gi ! a lawyer 1 ” 'Can there be anything brought into this House,’ asked a disgusted member, during the last session ot the Legisla ture, 'that will not bp_reuealed soouer or ‘a skinned orange.’ He was too solemn a preacher, be didn’t suit Nevada. The chairman of the farewell committee expressed it well. Slid he : ‘Now you can git, paid ; we ain't agin religion out here, and it riles us to see a teller spilii’ t it“ 2 Git, Josh Billings writes that ‘Philosophers all agree that the milk is put into the ko keinut and the hole neatly plugged up ; but who the feller iz that duz it, the phi losophers are honest enough, for a won der, to admit they cannot tell us.’ When Hon. S. S. Cox was looking at the great Corliss engine at the Cetennial last week, he asked the guard standing near what horse power the engine had ? The reply came with an amazed look . ‘Why, you and 1 fool, you! it don't run by horses; they use steam,’ 25<*n. Hill’s I>i sabilties, General D H. Hill, the celebrnted ex. Confederate, has written a letter asking •or the removal of his political disabilities, tie cites liis service tor his country in the army ting twelve yearrs, and calls attention to tne fact of his promo tion foi bravery rt the battlo at montory. He says at', the last Presidential election he supported Greely dnd would have vo ted for him had he been restored to citi ■ uenship. Ho says if again enfranchised he will vote for Hancock or any other decent democrat. The letter was re turned to him by the person to whom i was written for presentation to the House with the request that ho loavo the word ‘decent* out of his letter.—[Baltimore American Letter. A Remedy lor Cheat and Cockle. Some years ago my wheat was very much ‘turned’ to cheat and cockle. As I had just as much faith in wheat turn' ing to one as to the other, I resolved to sow no more ot the seed of either, and took a screen off afi old fan, put a rim around it, and sat down by my heap of seed wheat, cockle and cheat or chess, and seived it so long as any cheat, cockle or small grains of wheat would go through. I sowed only what would not pass through. The result was, scarcely a stalk ol anything but wheat could be found in forty five acres the next har vest, and wbat few stalks appeared I presume had been in the measure. I treated rny ‘seed the same way the next fall. The following spring, in sowing grass seed over fifty acres, I found but one stalk of cockle, and in harvesting not a handful of cheat and no cockle was found, notwithstanding the wheatl had been badly winter-killed, and one field near the barn had been run on, tramped and eaten by the Jambs and chickens very much. — [Cor. Farmers I V fiend. M ITOTII, Advertisements. First insertion (per inch space) $1 no Kach sul f#*quoiit insertion * *5 .. * libu . ml allowed those advni “ lo "* far P oHod than three wont 11 / r ihntes of Respect, Obitnarioß, etc., pnb- Imbed jrce. Announcements, $5, in advance. .No. 47. A Mail Claims to ho tftc Coniine Christ. A man named Charles Ilenault camo before Recorder Sexton, yesterday, under strangle' circumstances,, eluirged with insanity. Ilenault hails from Isle an Nois, and has a wife add six children. He has been in Montreal for a few weeks •md latterly became possessed of tho idea that lie was-the coming Christ. He stated that he had been asked by God if he could abstain for forty days, lie said lie could, and on the ’l4th of the present month ho entered upon tho ful fillment of the promise, and since then has eafen nothing, merely taking a drink of water. His boaiding mistress verifies the statements with regard (o tho fas ting, this being the reason [she thought there was something wrong. When Henault was asked how lie felt, he said he was as strong as he was before, and was regularly fed by angels, and well fed, too. He did not fast of his own accord he knew he could not do it of himself; he would not be such a fool. Rut ho had great faith in God and knew he would be able to fulfill his promise. Ho claims to have already put in seventeen days, and feels as strong as ever. Being asked it ho would like to have a beef steak, lie said he would not touch it. Ho has a brother residing in Point St. Charles. The man speaks rationally on all subjects, and seems quite hearty, although those who had seen him sev eral weeks ago say that he is somewhat reduced in flesh. He is said to he a sober, steady man, and would insist on paying his way during the time he was fasting, hut refused foid—[Ottawa (Out) Citizen. The Drunkard's Wil> Know all men by these presents I of the county of Mecklenburg, and State of Y rrginia, being ot sound and deposing ~..u v.-t „ei minty oi treat ft, UO iiiaßO turn my last will and testament to wit : ’ I die a wreiche*d sinner ; and I leave to the world a worthless reputation, a wicked example, a memory that is fit to perish. I leave to my parents sorrow, and bit terness of soul all the days of their lives. I leave to my brothers and sisters shame and grief, and the reproach of their acquaintances, I leave to my widow and broken hearted wife a life oflonely straggle with want and and suffering, I leave my children a tainted name a reviled positition, a pitiful, ignorance, arid the mortifying recollection of ala. ther who, by his life, disgraced humanity and at his premature death joined the great company of those who never enter the kingdom of heaven. I pray God that those who are living may take warning and profit from the above. A man walks three miles an hour ; a horse trots seven ; steamboats run eigh teen'; sailing vessels, 0 j slow rivers flow four ; rapid rivers flow seven ; moderate wind blows seven ; storm moves thirty six ; hrtrricane, eighty ; a rifle ball, one thousand ; sound, seven hnndred and forty three ; light, one hundred mid forty-three thousand. A barrel of rice six hundred ; barrel of powder, twenty five ; firkin of butler, eighty.four. Wheat, bean and clover see l, sixty oounds to the bushel ; corn, rye and flax seed, fifty-six ; (backwheat, fitly two ; barley, forty eight; oals, thirty-five; bran, twenty ; timothy seed, forty five ; coarse salt, eighty-five. Forty drops make a drachm. Off Duty.—Daily of the Danbury News, relates this : Col, $ was standing in the square at Bethel, the other day, when he spied a fanner fwlio some weeks ago, had sold him a load of very ‘crooked’ hay. The party in ques Lion is an active professor of religion and a zealous worker tor his own pocket. The man’s profession and practice being in such marked contrast, caused the 001. to eye ’ him with dislike. When he came up the Col. charged him with de ception in the matter of the hay. The skinflint stoutly denied the charge. The Col. drew hitnse'f up to full height and disdainfully observe and : •I am a soldier, sir—not a liar * ‘So am Ia soldier,’ whined the pro moter of ‘crooked' bay. I ‘You?’ ejaculated the Col, in a tone of disgust, ‘what kind of a soldier are you?' * l’m a soldier of the Cross,* said the skinflint, with a detestable flourish of the hand. ‘That may be,‘ said (he Col., dryly, but you have been on a furlough ever since I knew yon.‘