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> 1 ATHEN MEEKINSS TWINSES *wUk«t«l lo Ik, Happy JUn that atnl Rot bat Oae Chile, Mdhlai Mh* Wf a <HM . RlanU la a Ear IHataat taa*, Wbar ha Kaat ba Heard a rryla* la tha Mia hr UNRoHll. {Savannah Time*.] Bali's in ginrul is bald-heded, bo- logged disturbers tlie peecc. They cuius into this worl frownin horrid, fists dublcd up, rod as popper, hot as jinjer, and hungry as bogs. Yon got to- ton to urn—got to drap all bizuis and ton to uni then and tliar, or else vou’il hear from tun erlv and oiling. niy sympathies mor’n the Gypchuns and Izralites combined. A squar thing is that the man gits all 4he kredit fur twinges, while the woman, that has ten that, has ten thouann tiems a- heep the hardest tiein, don’t git nun. Folks is inclined to blame her and teli her, “ no mo uv that now.*" But the man puts on his hat and walks 4th with a ar uv modist pride, like the man that chawed the ho’ns ofPn a steer fur a bet. “I don’t tako no kredit fur this," he seems kinder to. say,-“I reely don’t, but still, I want to git the kredit all the same. Taint every- The nnss lanches urn into life with a. j body has twinses, and then is nmbil sirs in uv some kind, and then wun- j bout it like me.” And they tell me dlers they luv whisky when they has ■ thar is wiminin that actlv is envus growed up. I and jellus uv wiminin that has twinses, But twinses is mystens visitatins I and wood faiu git the respite if thar nv Providence; a urthquake in 2 j was one. Well, thar is cliilun that •covinms, the rile and let’ wings nv a ! brags bout bein sicker than utlier liurrykaws that thar aint no account in j chilr.n, and it’s a twisted sort nv a tfur. They emus like klaps uv live i worl we live in enyway. I don’t tlmmb'r out’n a clore sky in the midil onderstan it no way—nor I don’t nv the day or nite, (they aint keeren | « v er hope to. It gits me—got me which,) and konstirnates the nabor-- long ago. hood. Nobody aint never prepared | Facing Death. fur u:n, an 1 i liar is a rushin 2 and fro ! •nv doctors, misses, and wiminin that Brotlier Gardner was the other shakes the chimblvs and jars the I da - v wliltewwl.ing the back end of •whole visir.it v. A feerful tiem! *»i old house on Catherine street, They fetches no bagige, not a rag, ! ' vhcn ,hc sta ? in g S avc *«! aad l,e not a blame thing, not even a swaller-! ha,la fn!l of abo,,t IIe naU kote and a standi., coller, but | was sta,seU ‘ s8 ' v,,cn l»<*ed up, but a til.cv emus to star. Thar is much ! n,an P° ured aboul a S"»«* ot * ' vatcr Wryiu uv klotl.es-it takes nuf dry ! dovVM ,ns back a,,d l,rou ? ,a him to. .goods to set op a firm uv twinses as Mr * Gard,,er lbus ex P ,ained ««•**«« to the reporters: “ Waal, I was up dar, an’ dar was. de house, an’ dar was de seafford, an | dar we all was. 1 was jess drawin’ Animile Statisiix. ilvstok a good size Brod street sto find you’ve got to opin a milk depo | :md free bodin lions on the spot, ?o.)kiu fur vo’ pav in a nuthcr and a ‘ Bee* twinses has but i d:U bn,sh aroua to kiU wh «" 1 Mt a scttlin bills. I g one,,e8s * Seeined I was prancin’ 1 aronii’ on the air, wid iio chance t;» j dig in my toes.” “ Why didu’l you full at once, and the affair off your .wind?” asked ibeftew *'«ri wage bices uv AI r.y v.'iinmin arrives at yo man- shim, and thar is much mirath. The l>- ’ men fur Revnil bloks aroun get hers on the corndcrs uv the j ba ' . streets and wonders to eelie uiher il l a P 0 ' 1 ^ 111,111 - twinses is kelciien like mezils and chicken i»ok. Tliar minds is ono*y. Thev goes to Po:h«kerries to git sum iniiuint agin the things. But taint no use, no manner uv use. Kwinine nor brimstone, nof Icerosive sublimit, nor ly»thin knowid io man kni t keep idnoffi Twinses-. is inystcus tilings, and tliar is iio akountin fur inn one way nor the nther. Hew Blar, the drugger, kant put up nutbiu to fend uni off, nor Tom Doswil, with all his cxpeymisc, kant inshnre um. If they ar cummin, they ar cummin, and it they ain’t a fummiii, all ereaslimi kant hurry um »up. Twinses is the most obstinit and opmymrated kattil I know. Thar is a nather mystens tiling iboiit twinses. Them that wants mn ‘kant have tun—thar is men in this wale r.v dadshimness and fimitid Vipondulux that never duz ketch up with what they is rumiin arfter, no matter wlmt they do—and them that don’t want um and kin hardly tnru 'thout treddin on cliilun, has um shure. Here they cum a lioopin and a liolr'n. Now, me and Tom Click- H«trik is the very pattun uv men fur twinses; was cut and dride, you may say, to be the fathers uv twinses, Gut nary a twin have cum these 30 jreers, tho’ we have been dyin fur tun. On the utlier band, look at jMeeldfis; uv all and uv all huniins! Meekins—but mo'anou. No; twiuscs is mystens. To the rich man, cliilun {•urns one at a time, like balls down the troft nv a tenpin alley; but to the jk>’ they cuius —2 by 2, like the elcfint and the kangeroo. Twinses is like the pistuins or the walkin beam uv a stemebote - when you lays one' down you takes the rather one up, and when they both -<>|iins thar sknpepipes and squalls at 'the same time, why, lettiu off steme is Quaker liieutin to it. F’yar well, vane worl, I’in a gwinc home. No you aint—you’re a gwinc to ten rto them twinses, teu to muhiii but when if yon don’t want the lions (O cum down; and a plezent tiein you’ll Ktuv uv it. You may talk to me bout tGypchun bondige, but a tnuther at ded nv like wrestlin with two bnlliu, squall'.n twinses—one holrin to see if >his holrin ain’t louder holrin than the iholria uv the utlier one holrin—a miuther endurin uv that bondige sturs onate ;^tliey ||vi sweet kream.^nd front of tb^ ire- Kai yonni tlie place, Dogs arc faithful; they vMj stick to a bone after everybody haz deserted Parrots are ehzily educated, but they will learn to swear well in ban the time. they . will lean else. . . . • The birds eat bugs and'worm* for plain viltles, but their desert konsists of the best cherries end gooseberries in the garden. Xne owl is only a pictuco_uv wis- dnm by daylite, when lie kan’t see eiuiyllting. When it com&mite his wisduin wholly konsists h^Mtcliing a field mouse, if lie kail. 4b- The donkey is an emblem of p.t- chuncc, but if you study thcln klesser yu will find that lazy nestis What’s the matter ov them. The eagle is the monarlT' of the sk es, hut the little king-bird will chase him to bis hiding place. The ox kuoweth .his master’s krib, an 1 that is all lie does kuo or care about bis master. Monkeys are imitatiff, but if they kan’t imitate some deviltry they ain’t happy. The goose is like all oth^phools— allwuss seems anxious to prj^vc it: If mules are ever incek il&Csimply because they are ashamed^ ov them- sells; but mules are ]iil>rid,iiiii’t ae- kountnble for anything. The bees are a busy people; rath er tha.n be idle they wiil _rob each ether of ilieir bunny. The koehroach is n loaler, and don’t seem to live so much on what they eat as what they kail get into. Ducks are only kimiiiiig^)bout one thing; they lay their egg* in shell sly places that suintimos ihev kan’t —Thi Why didu’l I fall ? Why, sail, ; I was tailin’ all de time. I went I down M»out fifty r oet ahead fust, an* d ii 1 changed an’ went sidewavs an’, _ , , . , - * T , , - . *, , J find them again themsells. den I st niek on one foot and boafl f 72 Ipars. powerful thinkin,’ I wAs.” / “Did you think of oysters fried - j , - , i 'Hie niusknttjean/forif^^L-^iard ■ » , . All distune I>vasdo.„’^m^ w . ntor ^ se ^* ral ' kan’t. keep from getting ketclied in the syliest kind ov a traji. Hens kno when it’s a-going to rain, and shelter thcmselfs, but : tliey will try to lintch out a glass egg just as honest as they will one of their own. Mudturkles are the slowest ov with crumbs ?” asked a reporter. “ Doan’t be talkin’ dat way, boss. I inembered all my bad deeds while I was gwine down, an’ I called out dat I would bad a better life if de shock didn’t kill me.’* Iii the group was a colored man whose face brightened at these words, and be softly asked : “Brndder Gardner, doaii you member de two dollars you liorrid o’ me?” “ I do.**’ “Den pay it—ban’ it over. De shock didnt kill you, and now begin on dat better lite.” “Bnidder Jones,” solemnly replied Gardner, de shock didnt kill inc dead, !>efo* I pays out any money I’ze gwine to wait de result of my nerv- yus system. I pears to be all right but {Kissumly I may be fatally injured in sum og de comers an* not know it for a mouth. Clang, Bnidder Jones, an’ doan’t rob de cradle an’ de grave.!’’- Free Prese. Tweed’s Tribulations. Nkw York, May 26.—Tlie nego tiations for the release of Win. M. Tweed still-remain in abeyance, and the prospects do not seem flattering for hits leaving his present quarters in Lndlow Street Jail for some time yet. It is said that Corporation Counsel Wliituey lias sent iu his report to Attorney-General Fairchild, in whioli be stated that Tweed’s evidence, in three or fonr of the city suits, was of the utmost importance, but the Attorney-General lias not yet replied, and it is not known what views lie entertains on the subject. He expects a reply next week, but the decision as to Tweed’s release will, probably, be deferred to a later date. Tweed is anxiously awaiting the result of the negotiations, lie is visiteil daily by his sons and friends, and seems to be far more cheerful than haB been reported. Of late his wine bill has steadily increased. A witty writer has observed, with much truth, that every man is. in a sense, three different men. In the first place is the man he thinks him' NEWS SUMMARY. w fell in Berk- on the 24th. h Maid trotted a mil it SmiTrancii^R offtli est time on __ persons were Gently drowned by the siuking of a coasting vessel-off the coast of Australia. —Gloversvflle, Fulton county, N. Y., was visited by a destructive fire on tlfd night ot the 21st. 'em Broeck ran a mile against tyae at Louisville on tlie !Mtb; making 1:39|, two seconds faster tlmn any mile heat previously on record. —The steamer J. Don Cameron, with 150 tons of Government freight and 70 passengers, struck a snag and sunk in 18 feet of water, 40 miles balow Sioux City, Iowa, on the 18th. No live lost. —Harrowing accounts of suffering and destitution come from tlie burnt district in Clinton, N. Y. A large tract of rich firming country was swept clear of buildings, fences, trees and stock. Crops put in the ground were destroyed and the people are utterly destitute, helpless and with out resources. —An excursion train on the Atchi son, Topeka and Santa Fe Railroad ran into a wash-out near Kllimvood, about 20 miles west of Topeka, on the evening of the 18th, killing one passenger, iiamhd Miller, of Fond du Lac, Wis., and injuring six or eight others. —The Supreme Court of the Dis triet of Columbia has decided adverse ly upon the claims of Admiral Por ter and the officers and men of the North Atlantic squadron to §3.000,- 0°0 in prize money, made o:i account of the squadron’s share in the cap ture of Richmond. —The Catholic Church in course of erection at St. Ilypolite, Quebec, was blown down by a tornado on the 18th, killing the contractor, Benjamin Boiilenu, and mortally wounded his sou. A number of other buildings News in Brief! jfornk are threat- >1 th »ff* US. :e, - TC H - — Victoria’s crown were estimated at £111,900 forty years ago—at the' time of her coronation. Since then they have much increased in value. Four dia monds at the lop of the crown are worth §10,000 each. PUII AND FANCY •it enny four-legged kritters, and yet they are allwuss on the moVje,' tricing to git somewhere else. Hornets have more fight in them than ennylhiug ov their size, but there is no method in their madness; they will pitch into a meeting house when they are furious, just as anx ious as they will into a sleeping baby in its krndlc- The kro is the most mitral ov all thiefs; they will steal and hide what isov no use to them nor loss to enuy- body else Ants are the bisvest ov all the lit tle or big bugs, but a large share ot their time is spent in repairing their houses, which are built wliare folks kan’t help but sup on them. • Flies toil not, neither do they spin, yet they have the first taste ov all the best gravya iu the land. The cuckoo is the greatest ekonc- inut aiming birds; the-fay* her eggs in other -bird’s nests,-, and lets them hatch them out at their leisure. Rats have fewer friends and more enemys than anything of t|ie four legged purswnshun on thei face of the earth, and yet rata ate as plenty now as In the palmyist days ov the Roman Empire. Ov all things lazy the sloih wears the belt, and yet his lazy ness is all thare is interesting about hirju . The frog dodgeth when it lightens, and the tud gaps when the thunder, bellows. !*. The kro bilds her nest ov jstix, the swallow ov uutd, the squirrels ov leaves, the wren ov feathjers and wool, and the wood-pecker digs a hole for his eggs iu thb< rotten trees. , Mrs. Partington: “Isaac, I’ve self to be; in the second place; he a is the man other persons think him to j btoad >"“ ,u •' our be and finally he is the man that he j »«“* I’M st! ‘" d bv > °« *» yourPosten- really is. ! ty.” injured. —Collector Mills, of the -Lynch burg (Va.) Revenue office, telegraph ed mi the 18th to the Department at Washington that the recent shooting affair in that, district resulted in the shooting of four illicit distillers and one citizen, and not five United States officers, as was at iirst re ported. —At the launching of the Saratoga, a large iron steamship, at Roach’s ship yanl, Chester, Pa., on the 22d, seven employees were killed and several others injured by being crushed under the blucks. The superintendent says that the men killed either did not hear or heed the order to get out front under the. vessel, which was given full five minutes before the ship started. —The New York Assembly Cham ber was invaded by a large crowd of working-men, on the evening of the I8tli, on which occasion therc'was an attempt made to pass over the Gov ernor’s veto the bill appropriating §1,000,000 ftlr the completion of the new Capitol. The requisite two- thirds being wanting, a seen i of great confusion and disorder iu the galle ries ensued, and as some obnoxious members appeared outside they were set upon by the crowd and driven back, and escaped personal violence only by the interposition of the po lice. It was deemed necessary to put a guard around the Governor’s bouse fur fear of anticipated violence. —A sensational story is put in circu lation . by the Philadelphia Item to the effect that it has been positively asserted in Washington that ex- President Grant, while ostensibly visiting Europe for pleasure, is really to take command ot Uie whole Tur kish army against Russia. The st<*ry is that England was. instrumental hi making this choice of a new com mander for the Sultan in the hope that Graul’s success would render her interference unnecessary. It is added that tho offer was brought to this eouutry by the cx-Presiuent’s son-in-law, Mr- Sartons, who with Fred Grant is to bo on tlie General’s staff. Finally, the latter’s commis sion, it is said, dates from May 1st, and his pay—three months of which be is to receive in advance ujk>ii taking command—will be hirgel; in creased should he snccecd. —Central ftuk suflwwl §20,000 digting* fra* gw, statue. “Thera literary . fellows” ap]>ear to be about as bail as Simon Cameron libs painted them, , —Probably the f «4irfja$l*io the world is Rebecca Anderson, of Seneca Fulls, N. Y.. aged one hundred and twelve years. She is so old that it is over twenty-five years since a census taker, has had the pluck to ask how old she was. —A Times special from Cincinnati says the Ohio Democrats arc already plotting for tlie fall campaign^ a com bination forming to make Converse, the last Democratic ^Speaker of the House, Governor, and Pendleton United States Senator. —A correspondent of thes-lioston Transcript, writing of Harvard, gays: “ In some of the seergt societies the initiation consists in getting men drunk. One society has a rule that it any two of its twenty members demand a debauch in town all must go or be expelled.” It would seem from recent occurunces at the State University that these societies have found their way to this institution. ■ ■ - Information has reached the De partment of State, of a recent discovery iu Egypt of a peculiax specic$,q£ cotton plant that produces a douole crop. The plant is being raised there as a distinct variety for commercial pur- 1 >oses, and has caused a great deal of excitement among the cotton planters. They sell the seed for a dollar a pound. Another Egyptim discovery is reported, tliat there are gold and sil ver mines there. The report is attracting hundreds of people from Europe. The discovery is said to have been made by Captain Burton, the traveler. —~ —A despatch from Bahrain says there was a tremendous cannonade on the 24th instl fr.-ns the Russians. A battle has just commenced Firing is becoming general along the entire line; The ^uvkisV" batteries \ ‘tye replying vigorously/ Tlie utmost enthusiasm prevails among theOttcman troops. The Baslii-Bazouks are pre paring for action. Everything indi cates a desperate effort on the part of the enemy. It is stated the Russian force assigned to the assault of Batoum hus been strengthened by 20,000 men, who have just arrived from Ardihan. It is reported that the Grand Duke Micheai commands the attach in per son. The Turks arc sanguine A despatch from Erzeroum, dated Tues day night, says the Russians are mov ing rapidly forward in the direction of the Turkish left. 8REM DEOHCTIOI ra PRICES. The Dutchman’s Dog Story. E A short time wots gone bye 1 strained my dog loose. His name vos David, on accoundt of the wool he liefer di 1 Inf His real name vos Bismarck, mil only von eye on nc- coundt of a otd pluck cat vat jielongs to a servant Irl-b gals mit red headed lrair. He van paid headed all over hisseltj in gonsequence of red hot water on accoundt of fighting mit a old maid’s cat. On one emit of his- self vas skit unted 1 is head—und his tail it vas py de taler endt. He only carried about vone ball of bis tail nut him on aecoundt of Cook’s circular saw mill. He looks a good deal older as be is already, but he ain’t so oldt as dot until Thomson Brothers get another cstrgo or two of Cramp- ton’s soap. De vay you can know liitn is if you call him Dave he says nuttings, but makes answer to de name “ Bismarck ” py saving “ pow- vow-vow,” und, in de meantime^ vagging half of his tail—dot oder half vas cut off, so lie can’t of course sham it loose. Anoder vey vat yon could know if it vas Bistniirck is you tell him to speak de truth und he vill run like de teufel und holler: u Ky yi! hy yt l** Thomson Brothers are the largest soap dealers in this sec tion, and if you want to see u Bis marck ” vag his tail so fast as never vas, just go and get a lot of their imperial soap, uml you gets a clean shave tor noddings. So. Asparagus.—The fresher the bet ter, a ud all stalks not crisp and tender should be thrown aside. Cut off the white parts, tie the rest in bunches and boil, with a little salt in the watery for almost 20 minutes; then take out and drain a minute, lay in a deep dish on slices of buttered toast, the heads all one way, covered with a rich drawn butter Or the stalks nray be cut in inch pieces, boiled tender; then sea- soned and cooked for a few minutes longer in a thick cream. Him Secures the Series of -A. F1HST-OLASS JOB PRINTER, We are enabled to Juki out as good work as can be done IN THE STATE. We call the attention of all onr citi zens to the following Price List: Bill Heads, per TIio&s&im!. Assorted, $5. Canary Colored Envelops, Fi«r»i.-hcd to Merchant.- :aid Business Men, with tlieiir cards printed on them. At $3 PER THOUSAND. LETTER HEADS, §4 5040 $5 Per Thousand. OaRDa Common 75c per Hamlred, —AND- $4 50 to $5 per Thousand. Fancy Work Froportioiids^ Sgher. VZSZTZXTC CAMS, BLANKS, NOTES Peters,Circulars, Handbills, Pamphlets, etc., Printed in any color desired, ami a* cheap as can be done tn the State. GIVE ES YOUR ORDERS, SAVE MONEY, And get good work, and sustain a homo institution. Call at the ATI) • ENS GEORGIAN office, Broad street, Athens,Ga.