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Address S. A. CUNNINGHAM.
Poetical Selections.
TOO LATE.
Once your heart was mine, all mine,
Then I turned from you away,
Dreaming not the love you gave me,
I would crave from you to-day.
Weary years nave me—left me
With a sad and aching heart;
Knowing now, too well, my darling,
I must live from you apart.
Yet I’m weary, still so weary
Longing for your smile once more,
For the old love that you gave me,
And I threw away before.
I have lived and waited—waited,
Hoping on from day to day;
Empty arms are reaching to you,
But you never come this way.
Now my heart is yours—all yours—
Ah! you turn from me away,
Wanting not the love I give you;
Loving someone else to-day 1
Stories and Sketches.
. a>
OVERWHELMING A PARSON.
“ I’m real glad you’ve come, Miss
Purdy!” exclaiified Miss Betsey Marvin,
opening the door to the village dress
maker. “ I’ve been expecting you fui
this three weeks. My alapaca is get-tin’
bo rusty I’m mqet ashamed to wear it.
When’d you git home?’
“ Last night,” answered the little
woman, shaking out the folds of the
large figured delaine before her.
“ Then you haven’t heard the news,
maybe—about Parson Noble’s leavin’ us,
Lev you?” asked Miss Betsey, with an
air of mysterious importance/
“Not a word except what I saw in the
newspapers. You see I’ve been over to
Florence, sewing, for three months;
Cousin Maria’s youngest daughter was
married last Tuesday. How will you
have your dress cut, Miss Marvin?”
“ You don’t say! Well I never! What
luck she does bfev marrying off her girls!
Cut it polnase - , Miss Purdy, and don’t
get it ter long behind—it’s a dreadful
sin to waste cloth so, I think. Well,
I’m glad you didn’t hear it from Sophia
Jackman—she has such a habit of color
ing things so. Now I al’ays tell a
straightforward story, and let folks touch
it up to suit themselves. How did you
like Parson Noble, what you’ve heard of
him, Miss Purdy?’
“ He always put me in mind of those
men that St. Paul tells about ‘of whom
the world is not w r orthy,’ ” answered
the dressmaker, measuring Miss Marvin’s
plump waist with her tape-measure.
“Oh w r ell! I s’pose most people w T as
pleased with him at first; maybe you’ll
change your mind when you hear about
the donation. I can’t say but what he
has a pleasing way with him, but I
always thought he was a little loose in
his doctrine. I mistrusted from the first
that like as not he wouldn’t stay long.
Somehow his preaching wan’t strong
enough—there wan’t theology enough
about it.”
“Possibly not,” remarked Miss Purdy,
basting up the lining, “ but it seemed to
me he preached the gospel and that was
good enough for me.”
“ Do you think he was very spiritual?”
asked Miss Betsey, waving the contested
point. “ He’s been seen more’n a dozen
times sliding down Dragon hill with the
boys on their double rippers--as they
call ’em. What do you think of that?”
“I think most likely he enjoyed it,
and I’m sure the boys did. I never saw
a man have such a faculty for making
everybody happy around him—it was
really wonderful.”
Miss Marvin laughed a low laugh
which had in it neither mirth nor music.
“ It’s a real pity to snoil your good
opinion of him,” she said, “and I liate
to do it, but I s’pose somebody else will
tell you if I don’t. When he came
here, you know, they promised him S7OO
salary but the times is hard and every
thing is cheap, and they thought, mebbe,
this year he’d be satisfied with six.
Nobody but him and his wife, you see.
Seems to me S7OO and the parsonage is a
monstrous price—what do you think?”
“I suppose they have to have food
and clothes, Miss Marvin ; in fact, I had
an idea that ministers were human.”
“ I begin to think so myself, Miss
Purdy, dreadfully human,” sighed Miss
Betsey. “Well, as I w r as saying, they
went to him—the committee did—and
kindly asked him if he’d take six hun
dred this year, as money w T as so scarce,
and what do you think he said?”
“I haven’t the slightest idea, unless
he said he would preach for nothing.”
“ No, indeed; he said he couldn’t but
just live on S7OO, and thought he ought
to be making some provision for the
future now, if ever. Mrs. Chapin said
she thought that was distrustin’ provi
dence, and that’s the way I look at it.
Hasn’t the Lord promised to provide?
Didn’t he feed Elijah and the children
of Israel? And I calculate if ministers
is faithful the Lord will take care of ’em
when they’re too old to preach?”
“Well, what did the committee do
then?” inquired the dressmaker.
“It made a sijht of talk, I can tell
you; some was fur lettin’ the parson go,
but Deacon Simons got real riled up; he
said he ‘ didn’t Marne the minister one
mite; he thought they ought to raise his
salary instead of lowerin’it, and he’d bo
willin’ to give sso.’ The deacon meant
wellj but Ws a dreadful unreasonable
man when he gifts his dander up; but
Squire Lyman he put him down at once;
he said ‘ it was a poor plan to let minis
ters hev their way, and if they should
give Parson Noble seven hundred this
year, he’d be askin’ for eight hundred
next, maybe.’ Then the deacon got up
and says he, ‘ I’d like to ask Squire Ly
man if he could live on six hundred!’
That was a real tender pint, and the
deacon knew it, for Sue Lyman told
’round that her father gave her five
hundred a year fur her clothes and to
travel with, and they kept two girls and
a man to take care of the horses, but the
quire only paid ten dollars minister’s
tax last year—but then ’twon’t do to git
Squire Lyman mad, fur he’s worth
more’n a half dozen like Deacon Simons.
So Justin Marvin made a motion to raise
cix hundred dollars and give the minister
a donation to make up the other hundred.
“That kinder pacified all round, and
they agreed to meet at the vestry the
next Thursday evening and give the
minister and his wife a rousing donation
and surprise party. They took pains to
invite everybody, old and young, and
when Thursday evening came there was
a big crowd I can tell you. Squire Ly
man gave the word to start, ana just as
we got to the door we all commenced to
sing, * Praise God from whom all bless
ings flow.’
“ The minister and his wife both came
to the door, and they did look surprised
enough, but somehow they didn’t look
bo cheerful as you would expect. But
they was dreadfully surprised; they
didn't even think to ask us in; but we
didn’t wait for an invitation, but kept
crowdin’ in, and the minister and his
wife kept backin’ back ’til the house
was full up stairs and down. Squire
Lyman’s "wife and me aDd some others
went out into the kitchen to look after
the victuals and other things that was
donated; and such a sight as ’twas.
“ Deacon Bates brought a bushel of
potatoes, and Squire Lyman a peck of
onions. Levi Norse brought a hull keg
of pork; to be sure Parson Noble or his
■wife never eat any, but then it showed
Mr. Norse’s good will. Then Mrs. Prentis
brought them a chromo of a bare-headed
girl pickin’ flowers. You see Mr. Noble
preached a sermon one Sunday about
folks making home attractive for the
children—said they ought to have books
and pictures and all such things. I s’pose
Mrs. Prentis thought ’twould please him,
and I think she was very thoughtful—
don’t you? Somebody brought a nice
Bible. Bibles, you know, are always ap
propriate to give a minister.”
“ I should think a minister was the
last person who would need a Bible,” in"
terrupted Miss Prudy. Miss Betsey did
not notice the interruption, but con
tinued
“ Then there was a peck of apples and
some soft soap, four loves of bread, a pan
of doughnuts, 'two loves of cake, a couple
of mince-pies, and a loaf of gingerbread
—that I made mySelf. The victuals, of
course, was for refreshments, for every
body expects something to eat atu dona
tion party. But there was one thing—
it did seem as if everybody had agreed
upon, for I should think that everybody
that came must have brought a few
links of sausages—such a pile of ’em—we
just sat dowfi and laughed; we couldn’t
help it when we saw ’em.
“ Of course we helped ourselves to tea
and sugar and such little things—we
knew Mrs. Noble would be glad to
furnish ’em; then nobody thought to
bring any preserves. So we called Mrs.
Noble out and asked her what we should
do about it. She said she had a jar of
quince sauce w r e might have. Mrs.
Pierce dished it out, and she said it
wouldn’t go half round; she asked me if
she’d better get two or three cans open;
but I told her ’twould make more
trouble, and ’twasn’t no matter if the
children didn’t have any. So we made
it go as far as’twould; but it did look
kinder stingy.”
“ Well, 1 never heard of anything
equal to that!” cried Miss Purdy, slash
ing away at the cloth before her as if
she had a grudge against it.
“Bless my soul! what are you doing?”
exclaimed Miss Betsey. “ JTou’ve spoiled
that sleeve, and I didn’t get but nine
yards; ’twon’t do to waste any. Well,
as I was saying, we s’posed everybody
had had something when Mrs. Lyman
came out and said there hadn’t been a
thing passed in the library. So we
hunted ’round and found a loaf of
bread, a couple of loaves of cocoanut
cake, and some pies that Mrs. Noble had
baked up for company. You see she
was expecting a minister to stay over
Sunday. ’Twas real fortunate, for she
might not have had anything in the
house but for that; and she had all the
next day to bake in, so we thought it
wouldn’t do no hurt to take it. Mrs.
Jones said that she found a pan of seed
cakes afterwards that Mrs. Noble had
hid away. We felt rest-1 worked up
about it, children think so much of seed
cakes, you knoAv; and Mrs. Jones said
‘ that she thought it looked pretty small
when we was givin’ ’em such a donation.’
But maybe ’twas just as well, for some
of the boys threw cake at each other,
and it got trod into the carpet at times,
and I don’t believe in having things
wasted. Use up the pieces if you can,
Miss Purdy, and leave the hull piece for
new sleeves.
“ There was one thing I was surprised
to hear; the children got to fooling up
stairs and knocked over a pitcher of
water, and broke it: ’twas a pity, for it
belonged to a chamber set Mrs. Noble
had given her when she was married,
and was painted by hand. And Mrs.
Adams said when Mrs. Noble heard of it
she looked real mad. Such an example
to set before children—and a minister’s
wife too! Children will be children,
you know, Miss Purdy.”
“The place for children is at home
evenings, I think,” said the dressmaker,
sharply.
“ Well, I dunno as ’twas any worse
than what Mr. Lum did; he was leaning
on the fernery and the glass broke in a
minute. But then, accidents will hap
pen, and ’twas different being a donation
party.”
“Of course,” acquiesced the little
dressmaker.
“ Then it was real funny,” continued
Miss Betsey, “ the way they worked it.
You see the minister’s folks go home
real early—being certain, I reckon they
thought we would follow their example,
but law sakes alive no; why before we
got through with eating things and”—
“Then you had all the dishes to
wash ” put in Mrs. Purdy.
“Bless you! no; if we had attempted
to wash the dishes I know Mrs. Noble
would have stopped us, and besides it
would have taken us half the night, and
of course she didn’t expect it. But as I
was saying, they kept staying, and it
was past midnight before they all got
away.
“ Well, the next Sunday w r e all thought
the pastor would have an extra sermon,
and make some acknowledgment of the
donation besides, and of course every
body went to meetin’. I started early,
and s’topped for Melissa Jones on my
way. When we got most there, Melissa
stopped sudden and says she, ‘ What on
earth is the matter?’ ‘Why?’ says l—
l’d been talkin’ and hadn’t noticed any
thing. * Don’t you see,’ says she, ‘ that
everybody stops and looks, at the parson
age, as if something was the matter?”
‘Sure enough,’ says I, “it can’t be
there’s crape on the door.’ Well, we
hurried along, and what do you think we
saw festooned the hull length of the
piazza a glistening in the sun? What,
indeed, but sarsages —link on link!”
“Is it possible?” exclaimed the dress
maker, shaking all over with laughter.
“ I beg your pardon, Miss Betsey, but I
can’t help laughing; it is too funny.”
“ ’Twanfc anything laughable, Miss
Purdy; erery body was as indignant as
could be. Of course ’twas clone just to
insult us. Parson Noble’s sermon might
have been in Greek that day for all the
good it done anybody.”
“And he asked for admission did lie 1”
asked Miss Purdy.
“ Yes, he did, and got it, too, by a
unanimous vote. And what do you
s’pose he told Mr. Hey wood? He told
him he considered ‘ two donations equal to
one JireJ And that’s the hull story, Miss
Purdy—what do you think of Parson
Noble ipw. 1 think we’re well rid of
him, but I tell you my faith in ministers
is dreadfully shaken.”
Physical Courage.
There is no morality in physical
courage, though its absence may lead to
immortality. Not unfrequently, a bad
man exhibits magnificent courage, —be-
cause he is a splendid animal, with the
nerves of a tiger, the digestion of an.
ostrich, and a bear’s capacity for sleep
ing. He is as courageous as a bull-dog,
and for a similar reason—his physical
organization.
Henry IV of France rode into battle
ducking bis head to dodge the bullets;
but he rode, nevertheless, into the
thickest of the fight.. There was moral
ity in that act, for his will forced his
nervous body to risk death. He could
not control the nervous twitehings of
his head, but the brain, located in that
dodging head, lead his army to victory.
A bold, bad ma n, named A key, once
saved his life by liis cool physical cour
age. He commanded, in the civil war, a
company of California miners. His
head was turned by his sudden elevation
and he became a tyrant.
Maddened by a long series of petty,
despotic acts, his men determined to put
an end to his authority and his tyranny.
They resolved not to obey another com
mand of his. They knew that diso
bedience was mutiny, and that its pun
ishment would probably be death. But
they preferred that risk to Akey’s perse
cuting despotism.
The crisis soon came. Akey heard of
his men’s resolution and called them out
on parade. His first order commanded
all who had resolved to disobey him to
step tw r o paces to the front. Ninety
men, the number of the company, stepped
forward.
Turning to the sheriff of the county,
who stood near, Akey asked if he would
assist him in arresting the orderly ser
geant. “ Yes,” replied the sheriff. The
two men started towards the sergeant.
Fifty cocked revolvers covered them.
The sheriff took to his heels. Akey
coolly faced the levelled pistols, and run
ning his eye up and down the line,
said, —
“ Boys, the odds are too much!”
This superb courage saved him, for
they had determined to kill him. . The
revolvers dropped, and he w r as allowed
to retire.
The Government investigated the
affair, and discharged Akey from the ser
vice. The men, however, were permitted
to go unpunished.
Hints to Ungraceful Walkers.
An English lady, an acquaintance of
M. Ingres, the well known F.ench
painter, had a most awkward gait. The
gentleman recommended her daily to
take a long walk, balancing meanwhile
on her head a pitcher of pwater. This
he said would give the true poise to the
figure and necessitnte the upright car
riage of the head and a smooth, firm
step. An eminent French actor who
prepares young girls for the stage has
take M. Ingres’ "hint, and his pupils
every day at a certain time have to walk
about with vessels of water on their
heads.
Onr Superstitions.
[Notes end Querries.]
The following superstitions, handed
down by tradition, are yet fervently be
lieved in many parts of America:
White specks on the nails are luck.
Whoever reads epitaphs loses hit
memory.
To rock the cradle when empty is in
jurious to the child.
To eat while a bell is tolling for a
funeral causes toothache.
The crowing of a hen indicates some
approrching disaster.
When a mouse gnaws a gown some
misfortune may be apprehended.
He who has teeth wide asunder must
seek his fortune in some distant land.
Whoever finds a four-leaf trefoil—
shamrock—should wear it for good luck.
Beggars bread should be given to
children who are slow in learning to
speak.
If a child less than twelve months old
be brought into a cellar he becqmes
fearful.
When children play soldiers on the
roadside ii forebodes the approach of
war.
A child grows proud if suffered to look
into a mirror while less than twelve
months old.
He who proposes moving into anew
house must send in beforehand bread and
anew broom.
Whoever sneezes at an early hour
either hears some news or receives some
present the same day.
The first tooth cast by a child should
be swallowed by the mother, to insure a
new growth of teeth.
Buttoning the coat awry, or drawing
on a stocking inside out, causes matters
to go w rong during the day.
By bending the head to the hollow of
the arm the initial letter of the name of
one’s future spouse is represented.
Women who sow flaxseed should, dur
ing the process, tell some confounded lies,
otherwise- the yarn will never bleach
white.
When women are stuffing beds the men
should not remain in the house, other
wise the feathers will come through the
ticks. ,
When a person enters a room he should
be obliged to seat himself, if ofily for a
moment, as he otherwise takes away the
children’s sleep with him. *
. T Jj e following are the omens of death:
A dog’s scratching on the floor qr howl
ing in a particular manner, and owls
hooting in the neighborhood of the
house.
Domestic harmony must be preserved
when washing day comes, in order to in
sure fine weather,, which is indispensable,
as that ceremony is generally performed
out of doors.
Acting and ‘Reality.
t&ew York San,*]
Mrs. John Drew, of the Philadelphia
Arch Street Theater, speaking of the
simulated emotion of actors, lately said:
“ Undoubtedly an actor could grasp a
situation more readily and represent it
more effectively if lie bad once been in
the same position in real life. But how
seldom is this the case. Some of the
most inhuman villains I ever knew—on
the stage—are pleasant, mild-mannered
men in private.” A listener reminded
Mrs. Drew of Manager Bernard JlacU
ley’s criticism of Mary Anderson, that
she “ owed her success to her remarkable
beauty and power of portraying char
acters and passions, which she really, had
no idea or*” and might become a. great
actress after she had been once in love.
Mrs. Brew'responded; “Miss’Anderson’s
greatest fault is thought by some mem
bers of her profession to be want of con
centration. They say that she is capa
ble of turning around in the middle of
an impassioned scene to make some friv
olous remark to a brother actor. Mr.
Macauley’s argument is good, but a good
many examples might be cited to' prove
the contrary. Every one has heard of
Miss O’Neil. Forty years ago, when she
was at the pinnacle of fame and success,
she was not only unmarried, but her
habits and temperament were antagonis
tic to those natural to a mother. Yet
one of her strong points was in portray
ing a mother’s tender love and devotion.
Mrs. Bateman has achieved a great suc
cess in roles requiring a nice apprecia
tion of sentiments foreign to her nature.
Many people who have suffered all the
pangs of poverty would be mere sticks
if put on the stage to act the part of a
hero or heroine who w r as supposed to be
suffering from just such straits. An
actor, to carry his audience with him,
must be capable of imagining vividly
any character he impersonates; actual
experience is of use to him, but imagina
tion and self-forgetfulness are indis
pensable.” _
The Rage for Autographs.
Jennie June, in a letter to the Balti
more American says there are many lit
tle crazes outside of the lunatic asylums,
and the autograph mania seems to be
one of them. Probably it has always
existed, at least since the art of writing
rendered it possible for individuals to
sign their names. The rage for collect
ing autographs is, however, not wholly
a senseless one. It has a human side to
it. More or less of the individuality of
the writer is supposed, and doubtless
with truth, to be contained in his auto
graph. But it is not the personality
alone which is expressed in the written
letters. It is largely the circumstances
which have surrounded his youth, his
parentage, his education, and his develop
ment in every respect. It is rightly con
sidered nowadays that the smooth, even
copybook ebirograpbv is less expressive,
and, therefore, less (lesirable than one
much more rugged and uneven, which
shows individuality and some character
istics. Originality is now equivalent to
genius, and even that which is very good
which is a mere imitation of others, has
less value than something inferior which
is unique, or, at least, distinctive in
itself.
THE THREE DEATH!.
the dead Hop® amid the flowers to reft,
Smooth tenderly the daisied turf above it;
Watch bv the grave by memory's rays caressed,
Recalling how we used to guard and love it;
Fr\>m iU sweet dust fresh fancies may awake,
TUI anew dream it* gentle semblance take.
Though passionate tear* fall fast as summer rain,
Where the dead Love lies in eternal sleep;
Though life and joy may never wear again
The glory buried with it, dark and deep;
Just for that dead thing’s unforgotten bliss,
A chastened charm may soothe a watch like this.
But when the shrine where we have garnered up
Trust, pride, devotion, shivers at our feet;
When poison lurking in the loving cup,
Turns into stinging gall what was so sweet;
What solace broods above such bitter death?
What future comforts us for murdesed Faith?
Clipped Paragraphs.
Mint’s meat— gold and silver.
• A bouncing baby—a rubber doll.
Confidence game—decoy ducks.
A ship ruled by a woman—courtship.
A real Lucifer ia a match for any
man.
Sound logic—arguing through the
telephone.
If care killed a cat, care can throw a
boo tjack straighter than most of people.
The coming three months of the yeai
are preeminently the farmers’ marketing.
“V ery good, but rather too pointed, Q
as the fish said when it swallowed tli
bait.
What is an island? A body sur
rounded by water. Give an example. A
boy in swimming.
Three feet make a yard, very true;
but two feet unmake it mighty quick,
provided they are lien’s feet.
“ Forget not thine own importance,”
is an old proverb, ft’s about the only
thing that some men don’t forget.
“The falls at Niagara have a fleecy
look, aud the hackmen say it's conta
gious. *
At Niagara, the other day, when a
young man reported the falls afire, it
was a timely echo that shouted “ths**
falls! fird”
“ Business suits,” says an advertise
ments. £o it does; but the more there
is of it the better it suits, providing it
is profitable.
Drinking men claim that they im
bibe to satisfy an appetite.. But we have
noticed that the more they drink the
more happy-tight they get.
A' gentleman who was asked for his
marriage certificate quietly took his hat
off and pointed to a bald spot. The ev
idence was conclusive.
Albany* genius calls anew sus
pender which has been patented “The
Conscience Suspender.” its owes its
name to its extreme elasticity.
It was the fall of an apple that set Sir
Isaac Newton to’ thinking, but the fall of
the shingle has made more boys think
than all the apples that ever grew.
“Whom can we trust?” is the black
type inquiry bf an exchange, it is of
no consequence. “ Whom can we n-i
duce. to trust us?” is the soul agonizer.
“Blood will tell,” but, then, it is not
the most desirable business a man can
be engaged in, to stand around and talk
“blood” to you. Let it speak for itself.
In the past year there were sixty-eight
suicides in the ranks of the Italian army,
said to have been caused by ennui from
military life.
A recent picnic was turned into a
hollow mockery by every fellow remem
bering to bring a corkscrew, and depend
ing on somebody else to furnish tho
bottle.
Martin F. Tupper asks-: “ Where are
the pure, the noble and the meek?”
Don’t know where they are in England;
.but in this country they are running for
office.
TO inquirer: By referring to Bartlett’s
dictionary of quotations you will prob
ably find that the author of the request,
“give me another horse,” is Robert
Bonner.
The gang of burglars who work for
seven straight hours to hammer a safe to
pieces, to secure fourteen cents, know how
a country minister feels next day after a
donation visit.
A French widow, who was bewailing
the loss of her husband, suddenly hushed
her sobs, and drying her eyes, said:
“ Why should I weep? I know where he
spends his nights now!”
The. school-boy will gloat for half a
day on the enigmas in the puzzle col
umn, but when he comes to getting his
regular arithmetic lesson he considers it
the greatest bore on earth.
“ How to tell a bad egg,” is the title
of an article in an exchange. When
you have any thing to tell a bad egg,.
you must he careful not to break the
shell while imparting the information.
“Go to the devil!” muttered a lawyer
to a dead beat who entered his office and
requested the loan of a nickel. “That’s
what the man next door told me. Good
morning your honor; glad to see you!”
“Fare well, my own!” sang the man
who took his sweetheart into a fashion
able restaurant, handed her the bill of
fare; and then slipped out the back way
and left her to settle the bill.
When a city becomes infested with a
band of old and young croakers, they
work more harm to the city, than a good,
active band of robbers. When a city be
comes so afflicted, the greatest boom it
can pray for, is a few magnificent funer
als.
In 1878 2,708 medical students were
graduated from fifty-nine colleges of
the United States. As the statistics
show that in this country an average of
600 people support one physician, there
must be a constant supply of over 13,000
patients, who must pay the handsome
sum of $1,976,000 a year, in order to al
low each doctor only $2 a day.