Newspaper Page Text
Tit Mcmt Jpw.
CORNELIUS WILLINGHAM, Editor.
For the nans© that need* assistance,
For the wrong that needs resistance,
For the future in the distance,
And the good that we cair do.
CARTERSVLLE, : : GEORGIA.
A BOY'S LOVES.
*' When I am big I will marry Kitty {*
But Kitty slapped me and ran away,
And, while I wept for myself, In pity
I made up my mind I would marry May.
tot May was gentle and May waa tender.
Yet lightly she pnt my offer by;
** I am engaged to Georgie Bender—
Perhaps I’ll take you if he should die."
By and by I met Jennie Blatchell;
Jennie waa thirteen and I was ten;
X used to carry her booka and sachet,
And made up my mind to marry Jen.
But Jennie, her reign was quickly over,
And Kate, my cousin, became my fate;
I said! M I’ll propoae, like a brave, true lover,
As soon aa ever I graduate.”
Alas i when I took out my olean diploma,
The darling girl was about to start
On her wedding trip with young Will de Roms,
And no one knew of my broken heart 1
At oae>and-twenty again love found me,
But the angel face and the meek blue eyee,
And the threads of the golden hair that loved me,
Went fading back into paradise!
Hark! into the house Lu, Kite and Harry,
With shout and scamper from school have come,
And a girl I never had tnaant to marry
Xa wife and mother within my home.
—Mary Ainge Dt Ffers.
BEX AND LINCOLN .
Being at Point Lookout, Md., S. Tay
lor Suit, once the Ariel of the gold-room
in New York, later a Maryland planter,
told tliis recollection :
“There lived near me in Prince
George’s county, at Upper Marlborough,
a cousin and favorite of Gen. Robert E.
Lee, named John P. Lee. He was
Judge Advocate of the United States
army, and, when the war broke out, was
absurd enough to resign this comfortable
place and his rank of Major to go over
to the Confederacy. My intimate rela
tions with him led me to know Col. R.
E. Lee. slightly. At the close of the
war, about April 12, 1865,1 made a visit
to Richmond, Va., with the United
States Marshal at Washington, Ward
H. Lamon. On Saturday night I went
to his room, at the Spotswood Hotel,
and found him lying on his bed weeping.
I inquired the cause, but he sobbed that
he could not tell me then. Being mysti
fied and excited, I pressed to know his
grievance, and finally he said : ‘I am
Before Igo I will see you.’ He in
formed me at Rocketts, as the steamer
was about to depart, that President Lin
coln had been murdered. I came ashore
again, and, filled with the weight of
such information, which was known to
but few in Richmond, I thought it would
justify me in calling on Gen. Lee, whe
had arrived a day or two before, and was
at his dwelling. There I was told that
Gen. Lee was about to attend religious
service, but would be at home about
12:30 o’clock. I called again, and he
received me cordially, and inquired par
ticularly for various friends, places and
interests about Washington, Baltimore
and Maryland, I finally said to him ;
“ * Gen. Lee I have a piece of private
information which I came here to give
you, sir. The President of the United
States, Abraham Lincoln, was assassi
nated night before last in Washington
city.’
“He turned suddenly, his face being
but half turned toward me before, and
looked into my faoe with an expression I
shall never forget. He looked me
through and through.
“ ‘ General,’ said I, * there can be no
doubt of it. The President’s Marshal,
Col. L&mon, told me of it, and it has
been fully confirmed in cipher messages
to the military authorities. What do
yon think about it, Gen. Lee ? ’
‘•He raised his head and chin, assum
ing a positive expression, and exclaimed:
“ * The South has lost her best friend!’
“ Before I came away I remarked :
‘General, I would like to have your
opinion as to who is the best of your
Generals ? ’
“He answered, still-a little stunned
awd preoccupied:
“ ‘ A man I never saw. A man named
£orresk ’” — George Aif red Townsend.
woo dew ripta
Wooden pipes are now being used in
Switzerland to convey the waters of a
thermal mineral spring between Pfeifer
and R&gaz. They are constructed of
fir-wood made into staves, and bound to
gether by means of iron hoops. After
being carefully tarred both inside and
out, they are perfectly water-tight, and
possess many advantages over metal
piping. They are, of course, muoh
lighter, and are insensible to changes of
temperature, while their cost is only
about $ shillings pear metes. It is inter
esting to note that the New river water
was first brought to London by means
of wooden pipes formed by boring out
tree-trunks and joining them length by
length. Suoh pipes have been exten
sively used in America, and they are,
under the best conditions, estimated to
last thirty years. —English paper.
It is a mistake to say that ideas gov
feui the world. It is not so. The world
■•governed by sentiment.
REMARKABLE WATCH-DO
The night watchmen at the Eastern
Penitentiary of Pennsylvania have very
able assistants in brute companions,
whose instinct and superior training is
little less than remarkable. These are
trained watch-dogs, nine altogether, em
bracing one full mastiff, two full blood
hounds and the rest half-breed blood
hounds. They are kept in three distinct
kennels, in as many separate inolosurcs,
into which the prison-yard is divided.
Ths fences divide them and they never
meet. Certain indications have showed
that if they did there would be several
very tough dog-fights. When the night
watchmen are on duty the dogs are un
leashed and accompany them on their
patrol, but the canine guards are more
effective in their way, as they penetrate
the angles and out-of-the-way places,
while the human watchmen follow the
beaten paths. If the dogs hear any un
usual noise, or find anything irregular,
they notify the guard by a sharp bark.
Their capacity to discover attempted es
capes has never been fully tested, inas
much as the convicts stand in too whole
some dread of them to dream of such a
thing during the dog-watch.
An instance illustrating the wonder-
ful instinct of these brute sentinels de
veloped not long ago. The guard one
night was startled by a warning bark
from one of the dogs, which he found
thirty or forty yards from a point where
a small ventilating pipe led from the in
terior of the prison. A cautious inves
tigation showed that one of the con
victs on that gallery, but occupying a
cell on the opposite side of the corridor,
being sick, was endeavoring to attract
the attention of the inside watch. The
dog had discovered the unusual noise in
the sound conveyed through the drain
pipe which the keepers on the inside of
the building had failed to notice. The
suffering convict was afforded assistance
which he otherwise would not have ob
tained.
WSES ON CHARCOAL.
Charooal, laid flat, while cold, on a
burn, causes the pain to abate insmedi.
ately ; by leaving it on for an hour, the
burn seems almost healed, when it is su
perficial. And charcoal is valuable for
many other purposes. Tainted rfieat,
surrounded with it, is sweetened; strewn
over heaps of decomposed pelts, or over
dead animals, it prevents an unpleasant
odor. Foul water is purified by it It
is a great disinfectant, and sweetens the
air if placed in trays around apartments.
ItJfLSO tioroii ß in its “ minutejin
most rapidly. One cubic inch of fresh
charcoal will absorb nearly 100 of gase
ous ammonia. Charcoal forms an un
rivaled poultice for malignant wounds
and sores, often corroding away dead
flesh, reducing it one-quarter in six
hours. In cases of what we call proud
flesh it is invaluable. It gives no disa
greeable odor, oorrodes no metal, hurts
no texture, injures no color, is a simple
and safe sweetener and disinfectant. A
teaspoonful of charcoal in half a glass
of water often relieves a sick headache;
it absorbs the gases and relieves the dis
tended stomach pressing against the
nerves, which extend from the stom
ach to the head.
riGMTINO AGAINST GRASSHOPPERS.
The settlers in some parts of Kansas
and Nebraska* says an Eastern contem
porary, have several times lost their
crops by immense swarms of grasshop
pers, which ate every green thing in field
or orchard.
Some of the farmers abandoned tj/eir
farms in despair. It would !>e a reproach
to American character, and a stigma on
the boasted superiority of man over the
lower orders of animal life, if settlers
should submit to be beaten by grasshop
pers* The human brain, if it is worth
anything, ought to devise some remedy,
and find some way of destroying the
troublesome insects.
The Russians have been equally
troubled, and have taken the matter in
hand resolutely, determined to destroy
the pest. For three years, they have
been waging war against the destructive
enemy with more diligence and energy
than they fought against Napoleon, and
they are cheered by hopes of a complete
victory. The inaeots are gradually dimin
ishing in number, and the harvest in
creasing, and it looks as if human energy
would triumph over insect fecundity.
The Kansas farmers should take oourage,
and carry ea a similar warfare.
THE YOUNG.
To accustom the young te be and to
do is more important than to induce
them to learn and to know. What they
think out with their own thoughts and
work out with their own hands is worth
far more to them than any amount of
passive reception of other men’s thoughts
or doings, even through the very best
books or the best teachers. Let the
child feel, not merely that he is prepar
ing for something in the future, but that
he is also living a true and real life in
the present, taking his own share of
work and responsibility, strengthening
his powers by continual action, and
building up his character by continual
well-doing.
GußMurr and the United States nave
each one city of over 1,000,000 —Berlin,
with a population of 1,118,680, and New
IflfrMO&Wa
THE READING HABIT.
Charles Dudley Warner says, in the
Christian Union , that the extent of the
reading habit is overestimated. Even in
the United States, where the habit of read
ing is most prevalent, few of the popu
lation read, a book. In support of his
opinion, Mr. Warner brings out the fol
lowing ;
Nearly everybody takes a daily snatch
at the newspapers, at the summary of
news or at the telegraph columns, and
the base-ball record, and occasionally
persons follow for days the columns de
voted to some singular accident or curi
ous murder—even women have acquired
the art of deftly skimming the cream off
the morning journal; comparatively few
of the entire population, even the edu
cased, read books.
Unless a book by some good luck be
comes a fashion, and is recommended in
conversation, few see it; the number of
people who riginally seek out the read
able book from their habit of craving is
very small.
When a story becomes the fashion,
everybody reads it; but who is every
body ? Why, a novel is said to have a
“run” if 10,000 copies of it are pub
lished for 40,000,000 people.
And there are books that “ everybody
has read, and all the newspapers
talk of,” which have not got beyond the
third or fourth thousand.
’ The late Samuel Bowles once told me
of his experience. He had written his
capital book on the far West at the time
of the Pacific-railway excitement, when
millions of people were eager for the in
formation his book contained.
Never did a book seem to be in greater
demand; it was sold in England as well
as in America, and all the newspapers of
both countries quoted from it and com
mented on it.
Mr. Bowles said that he never met a
person who had not read it—or who did
not say he read it, I forget which. And
yet, he asked, how many copies do you
suppose satisfied this enormous demand
of everybody? Fifteen thousand filled
the market.
I believe that the majority of business
men read a book very rarely; the ma
jority of young men in business and in
society, I fancy, read little—they do not
give their evenings to reading, and are
not apt to take up a book unless it be
comes the talk of society.
People who spend a great deal of
money on dress, on dinners, on amuse
ments, would think it extravagant to
buy a book, and, if one is commended
to *.Ly will wait till they can
borrow It or get it irosu Vlaw Übr*r t y.
They do not hesitate two minutes
about an ordinary $2 dinner, but they
will wait months to borrow a 50-cent
book.
SPEECHES EE ARNE D BY HEART.
I have never yet precisely understood
why it is considered the most vicious
thing that can be said of a man that he
learns his speeches by heart. I should
have imagined that an audience ought to
be grateful to a speaker for taking this
trouble. To complain of it is to regard
speaking like dancing rn a
and to incumber it with difficulties in
order to derive pleasure from seeing
them overcome. In nine cases out of
ten a learned speech is better than an
unlearned one. I have always envied
the memory of those who, without heair
tation or pause, can deliver a set oration.
One of the greatest adepts of this art
was Lord Beaconsfield, who, although a
fluent and ready impromptu speaker,
often adopted it. More than once he
has handed a speech to the reporters at
meetings, and he has then repeated it
without the mistake of a word. I once
tried to do this ; some one had explained
:o me a system of mnemonics, by means
of which everything was to be remem-
bered by locating phrases in different
corners of the room. For five minutes
I got on beautifully, but, when I had
exhausted one corner and turned to the
next, my key became oonfused, and I
ignominioualy broke down. London
___________
HJLD THE DROP ON THEM.
“What is the ante?” whispeued a
Red Gulch miner with a single s2o;gold
piece to the deacon with the collection
plate in the Baptist Church at |lack
Run, Col. He was told to contribute
whatever he chose, whereupon li# said
he’d chip in a dollar, and proceeded to
take $lO change. The deacon softy re
plied that no change was givei. A
struggle ensued, the plate was ipset,
and the congregation was in theact of
“jumping the deacon’s claim,” when
the minister, an old Californian,leaned
ever the pulpit with a large revol
ver and observed : “ The brethren will
please take notice that I’ve got tie drop
on them, and any brother who leclines
to go to his seat or who touchfe any of
that money will have a funeid at his
house to-morrow at 2 o’clock p. m. Our
mining friend from Red Gulch will
kindly release the deacon’s th>at, or he
is a dead man. ”
Apple-Corn Pone.—One quart of
finely-chopped apples ; one qtart of In
dian meal; scald with a pint of boi'jng
water, add sweet milk to Rake si tiff
batter, then stir in the apptes; aad a
little salt. Bake in a close lessel tl|ree
hours or pour into a tin pail, jo<Jver
tightly and boil in a kettle of water 4 for
the same time. Eaten witk swetttfied
milk or or earn.
“ PAPA'* AX'D "MAMMA."
An early instance which occurs to me
is in the “Beggar’s Opera” (1727),
where Polly Peachum, I think it is,
speaks of her “papa.” The modern
change from “ papa” and “ mamma” to
father and mother among the upper
classes, which began about thirty years
ago, seems to have been a reaction
against a custom -#hich had gradually
crept in among persohs of a lower grade.
As soon as common people’s children
began to say “papa” and “mamma”
those of a higher class were taught to
say “father” and “mother.” It was
among my high-church friends that I
first noticed this adoption of “ father
and “mother.” One does not sea the
connection, but snoh is the fact. When
I was young “papa” and “mamma’
were universal among what may be
called the middle and upper ranks of so
ciety, and to this day ‘ ‘ ladies of a cer
tain age” still use the words, King
George 111. , about the year 1762, ad-
dressed his mother as “mamma; so 1
find in the “ Grenville Memoirs.” But
Ido not think that Charles IL, unless
he was speaking in French, ever ad
dressed Henrietta Maria by that endear
ing name, and I feel tolerably sure that
the Lady Elizabeth never called Henry
VTTT “papa.” On the other hand I
would observe that “ papa” and “ mam
ma” are fast being supplanted by the
old original “father” and “mother.” For
ten, or perhaps for twenty, years last
past, ohildren in the upper and upper
middle classes have, so far as my obser
vation goes, been taught to say ‘ ‘ father
and “mother;” and “papa”and “mam
ma,” which are words of extreme ten
derness to those of my generation, seem
now to have sunk into contempt as a
“note” of social inferiority. —Notes and
Queries.
THE PRIZE ESS AT OX CATS.
The cat proper and improper derives
its name from the manner in which you
address him ax night, thus—“ Scat 1 ”
The cat is a cuss that mews and purrs,
because purr-haps it a-mew-ses him. He
is covered with fur, is filled with deceit
fulness, and abounds in cheek. I said
that purr-puss. He can place himself
outside of a canary in full bloom, and
then come and sit by your side and look
up you in the face with a smile that is
“childlike and bland,” chuck full of
penitence and canary. Canary other am*
mai do this? His fur is soft and glossy,
but what is this fur I cannot say. It isn’t
so soft, however, but what it will break
bricks. Tne la •* smaller bird than
the Aa * general thing the cat
< ail draw inor® than a.ny o<K animal
except a mustard plaster. I nave Known
him to draw two bootjacks, scuttle of
coal, two or three charges out of a gun,
two or three swears oat of a man, and
two articles of bedroom furniture out of
the third-story window. This can also
be said of the average string band. In
fact they are somewhat related, as the
discoverer of the fiddles, listening to the
music of the cat, cut him open to see
where the noise comes from, and thus
laid the foundation for fiddle-strings.
Cats and fiddles thus become viol-in
line. I would say something about the
cat o’-nine-tails, but it is a painful sub
ject ; another reason is I don’t know
anything about them.
THE ELEA.
This insect belongs to the genus Pu
lex. When he gets on your arm you
Pulex-citedly at your sleeve. You are
anxious also for the insect’s leave. The
flea has a strong love for man, but he
manages to get over his attachment. He
is a leper. In olden times they used to
drive the leper out of the synagogue.
When the flea gets on you, he sees sin
agog in your heart. The flea is a para
site. You have not to cross the ocean,
therefore, to see a Paris sight Fleas
are very plentiful. You remember that
Mary had a little lamb whose fleas were
white as snow. In ancient times, how
ever, the golden fleas were very scarce,
and consequently much sought after.
There can be no doubt about the habi
, tat of this social insect, for does not the
Bible speak of it as the “flea, from the
wrath to come ?” And again is it re
ferred to as the “wicked flea” which
“no man pursuSth.” But we prefer not
to dwell on this subject. Neither do we
wish t 6 have this subject dwell on us.
We might, ere long, have a flea in our
ear should we not stop. —Boston Tran
script,
STEP ON THE OTHER MAN.
One night a burly Englishman, who
had the faculty of exciting Oarlyle to
frenzy by talking about O'Connell,
called on him, and, after a little talk
about the weather, at it they went. It
was hot and heavy and a fierce and mer
ciless contest Tea put a brief stop to
it, but it soon begun again. There were
several guests present and Mrs. Oarlyle
put her foot on the Englishman’s, im
ploring peaoe. He no sooner felt the
pressure than he screamed out: “ Why
don’t you touch your husband’s toe,
Mrs. Carlyle ? lam sure he is far more to
blame than I am. ” The whole company
burst out laughing, including Carlyle
himself, and tea was finished in compar
ative tranquillity.
Vines are said to extract yearly from
the soil about three-fourths of the quan
tity of potash and phosphoric acid that
the cereals take op.
SPBCULATITE EAR*****-
“As good as wheat ” and as 8 . .
u wheat "are toe-honored
toy have, “ Wheat
r;“d huA haa ceaeed to he
steady anywhere in this country In
many parte of the West, notably rn D
feotaf raising wheat has
form of a eras*. The wheat excitemen
in that Territory and along t e
to Northern Pacino railroad, dunng
spring and summer is remat- a
curious. The company sells lakd
small payments down, balance oil
time and very easy terms, so a
most anybody can buy. The raiiwa,
meets part of the expense of side tracks
fer every section where they are esiret,
ironing the siding where a roadbed and
ties have been furnished in any p ace
within four or five miles of its mam
line. The wheat is sown in the spring,
and then needs very little care until it
has ripened. It is threshed in the fiehl,
and put directly on the cars. The wor
is comparatively light after the soi
has been prepared for Seeding,
and the profits on crops have thus
far been large. Under these en
couraging circumstances hundreds cn
enterprising farmers throughout the
West have turned farmers on a few hun
dred dollars capital, railway employes,
business men, clerks, and even servant
girls at Fargo and Bismarck being
among the number. Nearly all of them
are bold and speculative. Instead of
contenting themselves with a quarter
section they generally take three or four
entire sections. Neither bams nor out
houses are built-*—they are unnecessary
—and nobody think* of living on the
land in winter. The ground is broken
with gang-plows; the sowing is done
with horse-drills; the reaping accom
plished with improved machines, and all
by contract; so that the “farmer” has
little else to do than pay the bills and
get the profits, which have often been
as high as 30 per cent, a year on the
whole investment. When harvest time
draws near, laborers come in from all
directions, many of them traveling hun
dreds of miles, to work in the fields,
which are then very animated. Natur
ally this has so stimulated speculation
that scores of men go wholly beyond
their means, and when there is a bad
season, as there may be any time, fail
ure and bankruptcy will be wide-spread.
~New York Times.
11—1 g~f 811 111
THE WAT IT WAS WITH JONAH.
Avery good story is related of a cer
tain (lUrrnwj wnfflsaor in one-of ' jur
schools. When the big whale was on
exhibition here, the professor conversed
with the pupils of his smaller classes
about it, and repeated the Biblical his
tory of Jonah being swallowed by the
whale. The same day he and a member
of his class went to see the whale.
There he proceeded to explain to the
boys its construction, in the course of
which he remarked that that section of
the throat through which the whale
swallowed his food was only three inches
wide, a wonderful contra 1 to the balance
of his frame.
“Why, professor,” dd a little fel
low, the youngest us the class, “I
thought you said the whale swallowed
Jonah.”
The professor was cornered, and for a
moment he didn’t know what to say,
but, seeing that the boy had caught
him, he turned the thing off by saying :
“ Well, when a Jew wants to go any
where you can’t keep him out, and that
is the way it was with Jonah.” The
boys all grinned, and the professor felt
relieved after firing that shot.—Louis
ville (Ay.) Argus.
AGE OP THE RJJITH.
0
The age of the earth is placed by some
at 500,000,000 of years, by others 100,-
000,000 years ; and still others, of later
time, among them the Duke of Argyle,
place it at 10,000,000 years. None place
it lower than 10,000,000, knowing what
processes have been gone through.
Other planets go through the sameproo
ess. The reason that other planets dif
fer so much from the earth is, that they
are in a so much earlier or later stage of
existence. The earth must become old.
Newton surmised, although he could
give n© reason tor it, that the earth
would at cane tuns lose all its water and
become perfectly dry. Since then it
has been found that Newton was cor
rect
As the earth keeps cooling it will be
come porous, aid great cavities will be
formed in the interior wnich will take in
water. It is estimated that this
process is now il progress, so far that
the water diminuhes at about the rate
of the thicknessof a sheet of writing
paper each year. At this rate in 6,000, -
000 years the wtter will have sunk %
mile, and in 15,001,000 years every trace
°i water will hav disappeared from th<
face of the globe The nitrogen and
oxygen in the atimsphere are also di
minishing all the tine. It is in an in
appreciable degree but the time will
come when the airwill be so thin that
no creatures we kmw could breathe it
and live; the time will come when tks
world cannot support life. That will be
the period of age, ind then will come
death. —BioAard A Proctor.
PLEA SANTBTES.
A STRIKING ribtoXprto fight
A PAYING Business— The cashier’s.
A mad failure — A deceased hank
rupt. I,—l- -n ir Tt- —■ . atewuMSßs w ***
When is a man like a looking-g ass
When he reflects.
A net that many are arsons to get
into—The Cabinet.
The weight of the world -About
twelve ounces to the pound.
Wht is the letter “ ” llke the BUn
Because it is the center of light.
Everything has to up sometimes;
even the little chickens have to s
out.
Teacher-” What does it a™*”
that a person takes the palm I
“ It means that he takes the cakv •
When a man is pitching pennies ana
loses one, he reminds us of “ Noah
weary dove,” inasmuch aE he is 1
OUt. ■; J VI I I |
“ This is the kind of * csGl ® brake
that I don’t like,” was what Pompey re
marked when his master broke a walk
ing-stick over his shoulders.
A Texan girl, having fallen out with
her lover, sent him the following lines,
which are expressive, if not beautiful ;
There’s a land that ia hotter than this,
Where never a collar will stand J
Where people all bubble and hiss
Oh, go to that beautiful land.
A Kansas Judge has decided that a
ticket to “admit one ” is good f<vr hus
band and wife. On this basis of reason
ing a child’s ticket would suffice for thr
average Sophomore class,
A utter girl, addressing Her sister,
asked. “ What was the chaos pa was
reading about to-day ? w To which the
latter replied, “’Twas a great pile of
nothing, and no place to put it m.”
Fred was telling his mother about ,
his dog Fido. “ fie just Liughed fit tr
kill himself,” said Fred. “My der
interrupted his mother,, “how can
a dog laugh ? You mean that Fido was
barking.” “ No, indeed,” Fred replied,
quickly; “Fido was laughing with hit
tail, for it went wigglety-wiggjety."
This comes from Ohio.:
Under this sod
And under these trees
Lieth the bod
j of Solomon Pease.
He Is not in this house,
But only his pod;
He shelled out his soul
And went np to his God.
“How IN the world,” asked a Galves
ton lady cl Jt neighbor, f can I prevent
my boy from dealing sugar out of the
sugar-bowl.” “ Iknow how you can stop
cHKKMting w* -rnm+mm
bowl,” was the reply. “How?” “By
simply putting the sugar in the milk
pitcher.” — Oalveston News.
“How did you like Europe?” “It’s
too splendid for anything !” was the re
ply. “And were you sick?” “Yes,
awfully sick.” “And was your hus
band good to you ?” “ Oh, he was too
good for anything ! Just as soon as he
found out I was sick, he west and drank
salt water so as to be seasick in unison
with me, and I’m not his seoond wife,
either!”
XO LETTER EOR BURCH.
A man from Branch county, being irr
Custer City soon after a postoffice was
established there, went up to the shanty
one day with intent to inquire for mail
matter. A man from Missouri was just
ahead of him, and inquired if there was
any letter for Zachariah Burch.
“Be you the feller?” queried the
j Postmaster.
“lam.” Awl
“ Named Zachariah, are ye Y*
“ Yes, sir.”
“Too infernal long for this country.
You’d better chop it in two.”
“ I axed if there was a letter here for
Zachariah Burch,” said the Missourian,
with a bad gleam in his eyes.
“And I heard ye, and there ain’t
nothing of the sort here.”
“ Kinder seems to me there is. ”
“ Then I’m a liar?”
The pair looked at each other for a
minute, and then Burch remarked :
“Mebbeyou are.”
Unde Sam’s official hopped out of his
den and went for Zachariah Burch. It
was a pretty even match for ten minutes,
and then the Postmaster got his favorite
hold. Soon after that event Mr. Burch
observed :
“ Stranger, I reckon it’s no use to
prolong this sorrowful affair.”
‘ 4 l reckon not, but ye inquired for a
letter for Burch. ”
44 Yes.”
“ And you give it to me purty strong
that sich a letter had arriv.”
“ Yes, I did,” replied Burch, as he felt
of his left ear to see what portion was
left for future fights, “but I’ve bin
thinkm’ powerful hard in the last ten
minits, and I guess the eld woman back
in Missouri has put off writin’ till next
Bunday. Let’s go out and take suthin’
to bring tears to our eyes.”
Richard Wagner, the composer, has
a cat which sleeps on his bed and eats
with him at the table. He has always
had a predileotion for cats, having owned
more than 100 during the last forty
years. He has even found musical ideas
in the midnight trilogies of his pets.
Discontent is the want of self-reli
ance ; it Is the infirmity of wilL