Newspaper Page Text
W A. SINGLETON, Editor & Pro’p.
VOLUME an.
W 0 L.VV CS DOWN TO SJ.ISKP.
QY It. O. MORTON.
\\a lay vs tl:'Wn to Bleep,
And leava to God the rost;
Whether to wake or woep,
Or wake uo more be boat
Why vox our souls with care?
The grave is cool and low.
Have wo found lilo so fair
That \vc should dread to go
IVe'vo kissed loro’s sweet rod lit *,
And leit them sweet aid red,
The rose the wild bee sips
Blooms on when ho is doad.
Borne faithful friends we’ve found,
But those who loves us best,
When v. e are under ground.
Will laugh on with the rest.
No task have we begun
But other hands can t ike ;
Abr work beneath the euu
For which we need to wake.
Then hold us fast, sweet death.
If so itsoemoth best
To lum who gave us breath
That vre should go to rest.
Wo fcvy us down to sleep,
Our weary oyer to clot*,
Whether to wake and woep,
Or wake no more. He knows.
WAR’S VICTIMS.
TSie Unburied Dead at Plevna
[From the London Telegram.]
It, was with feelings of no ordinary
< motion that, I looked around the
ground where s ill luy 8.000 uubur
ried Hit s:an corpses Fo. here had
raged the fiercest of the light on those
two te rible day-, the 12th and 13sh
of September; here the enemy had
fallen like wheat before the scythe.
'!Ckmi bi trveoa Ittii firen, brokau, dis
persed, demoralized, they had ran
Ititlier and thither hopeless tor sliel
ter. the whole while that the pitiless
luili.-t, bayonet, sabre and shell were
doing their dc idly work. And here
were the featful results.
Great heaps of dead literally cov
ered the ground, in any lying upon
one anotl er, having fallen so thickly
as not to find room on the bare earth
where in to die. They were in every
fconci ivab e j.o lure —had reci ived
■v ry description of wound. As 1
10010 and upon f fie scene I said to my
self : Who shall say teat any picture
ol a battle-field is unlike the reality,
when tht re is more variety of horror
here than mind can imagine?
Many of ihe bod es were naked, or
nearly so, 1 living been stripped by
the Bishi Buzouks and others need
ing clothes. Most of the dead were
very young, mere striplings, not at
all fit for the hardships of war —
beardless boys with thin faces and
fair hair, who ought to be at home
learning to read and write and gain
an honest livelihood. They were to
he found in holes, where limy had
apparently hid themselves when the
storm of tire burst upon them, hoping
against hope that they might per
chance escape; they were by hundreds
in he fosse of the redoubt, where they
hail been killed in trying 10 get over
its parapet, they were under the
hedges, two had been killed in a tree
and were there still lying athwart the
houghs; wherever it was possible for
them to be found they were. Having
seen many battle fields, it yet remain
ed to me to be amazed at the terri
ble slaughter that had taken place on
this bill.
I know I hat tho Turks did not snif
fer severely, although t hey were first
of all beaten out of the redoubt, and
afterward had to retake it. 1 cannot
attempt t-> explain it. All 1 know is
that twenty-four cart load- of Turkish
deal—in ail, perhaps, 120 bodies —
were first of all removed from the
field yes 1 ere ay morning. Then an
other lot, say 100, were taken away
and buried. After this I saw four
carts holding fifteen or twenty, and
I believe about sixty more bodh s
were at'tei ward found on the field, in
all 300 or so. But here were 8,000
Russians stark and cold. Our
wounded amounted to another 100,
or perlmpsa few more, in all, peril ps
1,000 or 1,100 Turks were put out of
combat. The Russians had left eight
times the number behind them; end
1 tun quite u lab'o to explain i o ■ any
other ground til mat last the Rus-ians
were so terror stricken that they were
unable to run, and so were caught
and killed without very much trouble.
It was a difficult husk to surmount
that bill in faco of the Turks in the
first instance, but a much more diffi
cult task to descend it again in safety
when o ce those Turks returned and
charged.
; A LOUISVILLE SENSATION.
TUiilliiig Figlit Between an
Eland and a Lion.
The Oourlor-Joureal of Nov. 11th
says:
‘•We presume that a large majority
of our citizens are aware tlmt a por
tion of the Exposition building lists
been turnpd over to the proprietors of
Montgomery Queen's rJulifomia show
lor tlie purpose of wintering their
wild and ferocious animals. This
show has traveled 12,378 m les since
April last, and it is but natural to
suppose animal contained in the show
wouid be well worn and tired out al
ter so long a summer's jaunt, but
judging from die fine condition of the
beast as they now appear in their
cages and dens, such is not the case
Since i lie arrival of the menagerie the
managers have cause a partition to
bo run across the east end or side of
the space occupied, thereby leaving
a room that is about 50 by 150 feel
in size, in which is placed ad the an
imals. Across the north end ol the
room a row ol temporary cages have
been fitted up for the rhmeeros,
eland, horned horse, zebra, whit*
albino-deer, ostrich,.etc.; while on tin
other side ol the room are placed the
cages containing the lions, tigers,
leopards, etc.
Fiiday evening, about 9 o’clock,
while the men in charge weie sitting
quietly around the stove in the above
described room, they were suddenly
startled by a crashing noise proceed
ing from the temporary cage in which
the African eland was quartered. In
less time than it takes to write this,
Mr. Eland tore the from, of his cage
in fragments, and before his keeper
could arrive upon the spot lie was
from bondage free, prepared to make
mince meat of anything that came in
his way. In a cage standing near
Inn! were two fine California lions,
and to this cage his atention seemed
io have been attracted. Approaching
the cage the lions struck ai hun
through the open b>vs, one of their
paws inflicting a slight wound upon
the monster’s nose.
’This was sufficient to raise bis
wounded pride hud forthwith lie pro
ended to demolish the cage, liteially
bending the strong iron bars as if
they w< re so many s<raws. Jt, requb
but a moment, seemingly to break the
door open, when, to the horror of the
utti ridants, the male lion leaped out
ol Ihe cage and sprung upon the
eland’s back, but wag instantly sha
ken off. In the midst of tiic st ruggle
which followed something had to be
done, and at once. The other ani
mals, seeing the terrible conflict going
on; seemed determined to escape from
heir i‘i speclive cages and participate
in the melee. Every moment the
scene became more and more terrible.
Win. Thompson, w: o has charge of
the animals, took in the sitnaiion at
a g’anoe, and, bring one knows no
f ear apparently, coo 11 y di
remed Wm. Prentey Ins assistant,
to run for a rope, while Claude Wil
liams, the manager, and Ben Fink,
caught up a board found lying near
the spot and quickly planted the same
over the door of the lion’s cage, there
by preventing the other bon Irom es
ca dng. This was soon made secure
by the use of ropes, and one lion was
prevented at least lrom doing harm.
Prenter soon returned with his rone,
mid making a lasso threw it over the,
lion’s head While Thompson and
Williams weie vainly endeavoring to
lasso die lion he loosened his gr p on
die eland and made lor Thompson,
who was badiy bitten on the legs and
arms by the brute. In some mirac
ulous manner, Thompson managed to
slip a noose over his head, which was
quickly drawn tight by his assistants,
choking the lion so badly thai he was
glad to release his keeper.
Both tfe lion and the eland were
then drawn into their respective
cages, and the eland heavily chained.
Murder and Arsou.
A man named Burnham worked
for an aged couple near Sandfofd, 11.,
named Fritt. Burnham whs in love,
with their daughter Rosa, but she re
jected hi advances. He mmdered
her in her bed, and then, filing the
house, fl and. The aged couple barely
escaped, and the corps of tin mur
derer girl was burned in her room;
in getting out of the burning house
he parent - parsed by their dauglit r’s
itoor, an! found it open and she lying
on the floor in a pool of blood. There
can be no doubt ol Burnham’s guilt,
he had threatened to kill her for re
jecting him.
Burned to Death.
Miss Alta Headley, a highly es
teemed young lady of Tower Hill, HI.,
was burned to death by the explosion
of a cold od lamp, caused by blovving
down the chimney to put out the light
Her body was burin <1 into a crisp
before assistance could be rendered.
buena vim, siarion county, Georgia, avebnesday, November 28, istt.
Searching for Treasures in the Sea.
From the N.Y. Tribune.
J. I’. Folingsby, an experienced
diver, recently obtained permission
from tbc Venezuelan Government to
attempt to recover the lost treasure,
estimated at $3,000,000 to $5,000,000,
which wint down with the Spanish
frigate San Pedro Alcantara, on the
Spanish Maine, m 1815. This per
nnas’t#ft>r six years, in considera
tion of which he is to pay to the
Venezuelan Government 5 per cent,
on all sums which he may recover,
lie proposes to fit out a vessel with
puni| s, diags. diving apparatus, etc.,
those advancing the money tc receive
50 per cent, ol all he recover.--. He
was previously engaged by others in
this search. The Coast Wreck ng
Company refused Ins application for
assistance, doubting his sueccess.
The San Pedro Alcantara was sent,
from Spain in 1815, as the convoy to
a number ot provision laden v-sscls,
s-mt io supply the fleet in the Car
ribeim Sea. It is said she had $3,-
000,000 in the treasure chest Upon
arriving at La Guayra, Venezuela,
the property of the citizens—gold
and jewels—and the gold and silver
altar plate of the churches, were
transferred to the frigate. Several
towns were sacked and destroyed, and
the amount of treasures thus obtain
ed is 8 .id to have been very large.
The vessel afterwards caught fire,
while tlmse on board were drunk, and
the vessel was blown to pieces, the
treasure on board being widely scat
tered, and everybody on board lost.
This occurred about a mile from the
Island ofCuag' a. Since then various
expeditions have been fitted out —
the first in 1816 -to recover the treas
ure, In all not more than $500,000
has been recovered, ami this in silver
leaving all the g >id yet to be found.
A Yankee Trick.
Philadelphia Ib-rald.
Just before the Dedara ion of In
dependence a Yankee peddler started
down to New' York to sell a lot of
bowls and dishes ho had made of
maple. Jonathan traveled over the
city, asking everybody to buy his
wares, but uo one was dispose to pur
chase.
It happened that aßrrish fleet whs
then lying in the harbor of New York
and Jonathan struck upon a plan ol
Selling bis dishes. He got a naval
uniform by nook or bv crook (for his
tory does not tell where he got it)
and strutting up town one morning
ask'd a mere!'ant if he had any nice
woodeuware, as the Commodore
wanted a lot for the fleet.
The m reliant replii and that he hud
none on hand, but there was some in
town, and if lie woul' send in the aD
ternoon he would supply him with
pleasure.
“Very good,” said our naval officer,
I will call.”
Jonathan now cui lor home by the
shortest route, and he scarcely doffed
his borrowed plumage before down
came the merchant, who, seeing that
Jonathan sold none of his wares of
fered to take the whole if he would
deduct 15 [>er cent., but Jonathan
said he’d be gol-darncd if he didn’t
take ’em home before he’d take a cent
Ess than his fiist price.
The merchant paid him down his
price for the wooden-ware, which lay
on his shelves for many a long day
thereafter, and Jonathan trotted
home in high glee at the success ot
liia manoeuvre, while the merchant
cursed British officers ever after
wards.
A Strange Taney.
Danville (Va) Timoi.
There is a man living near the rail
road (in Orange county, Va., we
think) who belong to a Florida regi
ment during the wat. He was wound
ed in one of the numerous battles
fought in that portion of Virginia.
The surgeon told him he could never
recover the use of his leg. “Then,”
saiti he. ‘T shall never leave this bat -
tic-field.” And he kept his word.
We saw his crutch standing at his
cabin door ns the cars hurried by.
His tobacco lot, too, was pointed out
lo us, and we were informed that lie
has a little factory where he makes
chewing and smoking tobacco. Glad,
indeed, wrnro we to hear that he was
doing well.
Man Can’t Do Ererth-ng;.
You may talk as much as you please
nb ut man being able b> accomplish
anything he undertakes if he sets
about if in earnest —we demur.
When it comes to scratching the back
dead’ squase between the shoulders,
a fat man has to let out the job. He
may pierce the ocean wave with the
lightning’s flash, make fraud an lion
ored profession, get up a telopbone
that will carry Russia’s name without
bending the wire, but he comes to an
impassible fence sometime's,
A. DEMOCRATIC FAMILY NEWSPAPER.
THE TELOPHONE OUTDONE.
Toiici Of the Kiininii Voice Bc
prodneed Ifenrs'Aflor Dcaih-
T!u> Hon Wonderful Inren
lion ot lire Present Age.
The Scientific American con'a ins
the first announcement of what may
the most wonderful invention of the
day.
Nothing could bn more incredible
than the livelihood of once more
hearing the voice of the dead, yet the
invention of the new instrurm nt is
said to render this poesible.herealtcr.
It is true that the voice is sti led, but
whoever hos spoken or whoever may
speak in'o die mouth pi- Cos ol t.h •
phonograph, and whose words are
recorded by it, has the assurance that
his speech my be reproduced audibly
in his own tones long alter he himself
has turned to dust, a strip of in
dented paper travels through a little
machine, the sounds of the ’alter are
magnified, aud posterity centuries
hence hear us as plainly as it we were
present. Speech, has become, as it
were, immortal. Toe Scientific Amer
ican says:
“The possibilities of the future are
not rnucii more wonderful than those
of the present. Thu orator in Bos
ton speaks, the indeiued s np of pa
per is the tangible result; but tins
travels under a second machine which
may connect with th<- telephone. Not
only is ihe sp ak> r beard now io San
Francisco for < rumple, but bv pass
ing the strip again under the repro
ducer he maybe heard to-m rrow, or
next year, or ix-xt century. His
speech in the first instance is re
corded and transmitted simultaneous
ly, and indefinite repetit on is possi
ble. The new invention is puiely
m< ch iuical—no electricity is in
volved. It is a simple affair of
vibrating platen, thrown into vibra
tion by the human voice. It is
crude ye f , but the principles have
been found, and modifications and im
provement. are onlv a matter of timo.
So, also, are its Feasibilities other
than those already no'ml. Will let
ter writing be a proceeding of the
past? Why not, it by simply talking
into a mouth-piece our speech is re
corded on pap -r, and our correspond
ent can by the same paper hear us
speak ? Are we to have anew kind
of books ? There is no reason why
the orations of our modern Ciceros
should not be recorded and detacha
bly bound, s ' that we can run tin
indented slips through the macihne,
and in the quiet ot our own apart
ments listen again and again, and as
often as we will, to the eloquent words
Nor are we restricted to sp kert
words. Music maybe crystdiztd as
well. Imagine an op' ra or an ora
toria, sung bv the grea est Ivi g
vocalist, thus recorded and capable
of being repeated as we desire.
The following is a withering re
buke to Christians. Read it and
think, ye heathen depburin and
sin-permitting Christians:
The heathens are organizin for
eign missions for the conversion of
Christians. The Hindus of the sa
cred city of Benares have founded
a society for the propagation of
Brahininism among the Christians
of Austalia. An eminent brahmin
of the name of Snradschi, a man of
great authority, lias recently been
visiting some of the English colo
nies, and while traveling in Aus
tralia, was appaled and grieved at
the fearful prevalence of darkness
among the Christians. On return
ing to India lie called together a
number of thoughtful Brahmins,
to whom lie communicated his
glowing zeal to do something for
the salvation of their degraded fel
low-men and fellow subjects in
Australia. The only perfect i erne
dy,he considered,would be the con
version of these Christians to a bet
ter and purer faith. A large sum
was collected for the pious and
benevolent enterprise, and some of
the Brahmins declared their wil
lingness to devote to the work and
to spend and be spent in this hu
mane and holy cause. Snradclti
is now ngnged in translating fit
ting passages fron the Vedas into
the if’iiglisli tongue for the use of
the missionaries.
a Witty Reply.
Two men met one day on the piazza
of a hotel at North Platte, Nebraska,
when one claimed that Nebraska was
all a good country or should be—“all
it lacks,” said he, “is good society
and water.” “My good lord 1” paid
the other, “That is all hell lattes."
Earth <p::tkc at Kinisvilhi.
The Knoxville Tribune, 16th insh,
says: “It will probably not be news
| to many of our Knoxville readers to
learn that at 2:25 o’clock, thi- morn
j ing, our city was shaken up by one ol
jtbe inner, violent earthquake shocks
that, has been left for years. They
must be sound sleepers who were noi
aronstd from their slumbers by llie
siarling concussion. Seated at our
table in I he second story of our office
it appeared to ns to i-trike the build
ing first on the southern or sondt
wi stern side, preceded by a low mm
bling sound. Then came a swnyiug
of die building from side to side, then
a sudden, heavy jolt, as if from im
media'ely beneath us, and then an
other rocking of the building. Our
windows rattled, the alls t emb.ed,
chairs and tables moved about, and
we experienced a momentary sensa
tion that the whole building ws tum
bling down upon us. The stands in
our composing room were violently
shaken, the cmnpositers fell back ftoiu
their cases in momentary constema
t.ion, and undone of our “devils,” who
had palleted hirns. lf for dm night,
sprang from Ids nest ami capered
about in the most ludicrous bewiid
ment. The pertubation was very
brief, but uuusally violent.
An Old Time Hotel.
Mr. Henry Ward Beecher Ims l-ern
giving, m Ciiiciiimitti, reminiscences
of bis early life in Oh o. Quo of his
stor ij-s i ■ i his ;
“The other day I came through
Londonvilie, Ohio, and I was forcibly
remind- tl of mv stay there when on
my first trip out West. We stopped
late Saturday night and spent Sunday
there. There were two coach Fads
of us, and the little two s ory brick
tavern was neatly full when we ar
rived. Th# best they Could do f>r
my brother Charles aud myself was
to give us a Couple of “shake downs”
in t' e dining room. Wo slept late
Sunday morning, but finally waking
up commenced to talk. I said ‘Charles
I’ll bft you I call tell what they had
at this hotel for dinner yesterday.
‘What was it ?' he a-ked. ‘Roast
beef,’ I replied, basing my judgement
on a stale sort ol odor that pervaded
the room.
‘No, y >u are mistaken,’ said he,
shaking Ids head and sniffing at tin*
coveting of his bed; ‘ft was mutton.’
We both smutly maintain and our re
suective prorosit ons, and filling to
a vigorous smelling ol our bed clothes
found the landlord bad given us a
C’ uple of table-ciodis for bedspreads,
and Charles had got the mutton cloth
and I the beef.
•'•Business LiNe.’’
St. Louis has a female wood-sawyer,
who Cun haul in her dollar and a
hall every day, and when her husband
hit.es his mustache and won’t speak,
because she wants anew bustle or a
pair of white kids for ’be opera, she
d-rn’t go over to a neighboi ’s and cry
till li r complexion is ruined. She
just rolls up her sleeves, shoves her
hai. back out of her eyes, and settles
the question r ght. then and there by
“wedging I ini’’ into the corner and
mauling him until his eyes “buck”
out, and after the fracas lie’s the
mo-t “saw-dust” looking man yon
ever saw. She never says a word
about being cramped or crowded tor
elb iw room in her sphere, and won’t
so long as the “bakeries’’ stick to or
thodox cordwood.
Fashionable Umbrellas.
In the manufacture of umbrellas
some of the transitions and innovations
are replete with interest. For example,
a club nabob gave an order last w-ek
for a brown silk umbrella. The stro idl
ers, tips and cuffs, also-fei uie, are of pta--
led gold, and the handle pure ebony fin
ished wi'h gold, and the price is SSO.
Another society gentleman has given
an order for a brown silk umbrella to
lie finished off in silver; the figures are
S4O. A handsome family umbrella,
thirty-one inches long, with solid ivory
handle, will cost S2O. A lovely um
brella,in black silk, just made for a F fth
avenue lady, lias the handle of peari and
gold: ihe plica is S3O. A handsome
b ark 6>lk rain umbrella, made for one
ot our favorite actresses, hag a carved
ivory handle, and is marked at $25.
A gentleman belonging lo the Louis
Club has ordered a brown silk rain um
brella, to be finished in gold, in gold
wa-hed lips, stretchers, and a handle of
ivory and gold, hi a coal of $65. A
rery pretty rain umbrella, made for a
lady in Washington society, has the silk
ol a blue black, the handled is ivory,
elaboaiely carved and finished off with
a band of gold. Price S3O.— N. Y.
Sun.
■ i. ■■
Every nature must have the subsoil
ploughing of soi row before it can re
cognize cither its preseut poverty or
ltd rwvßfftiW-* *****
Peremptory.
“May it please the court,” paid a
Yankee lawyer before a Dutch
judge in New York state,
“ti is is n case of the greatest import
ance; while tlie American Eagle
! whose sleepless eye wmches the wel
fare of tins mighty Republic, and
whoso wings ex cud from the Aile
glialiies to t lie Rocky chain of the
w. st, rejoicing in his -pride of
place—”
“Stitop dare! slitop, I saj - ! Vat
lias this suit to do mit de v Li bird; it
ish von sheep I”
“That is true, t out' honor, but my
client has rights—”
"You glieut has no right lode
eaglo.”
“Of course not; but the laws o!
language—”
“Vot care I for di laws of lan
guage, eh ? 1 understand de laws of
de State, sub (lut ish enough for me.
Talk to de case.”
“Well, then, my client, the deft-nd
ent, hag oeen charged with stealing a
sheep, and—”
“Dat vill do! Your glient is
charged uiit stealing a sheep. Dat
ish shust, nine shiiiins. De court rill
adjourn.
ITEMS OF INTEREST.
£20,000 wort h . -f codon was burned
in Galveston, Tex., a short time ago.
Judge Theoptlus Sapp, of Musco
gee countv, died suddenly on the
17th inst.
The army bill provides for 25,000
tnen. Four companies of cavalry of
100 in neactt to be employed on the
Rio Grande.
Maj. R. J. Moses by a cord io the
Columbus papers declines positively
to be a candidate for the Legislature.
The Mobile bucket factory employes
65 hands, and turns out be ween 800
and 900 buckets a day.
About 100 people will leave Stew
art county this winter for Texas,
Arkansas and North Georgia. They
had better stay where they are. South
west Georgia i- as good a country us
can be found, all things considered.
Only three members of ihe sew Con
gress are colored, and one of these, Rep
reseniaiive Small, of South Csroliia,
has been indicted in the Slate coasts fo>
receiving bribe money.
There are now in tho State of Geor
gia in woiking order, five hundred and
thirty-seven granges, forming the Order
of the Patrons of Hushanrv, and the
outlook is regarded as very prosperous
Ballard, of I’ike county, Ga . while
returning home front Barnesville, al
lowed a negro roan, named Childs,
to ride with him in his wagon. Soon
after getting in the wagor. the negro
placed a pistols against Mr. Ballard’s
back and killed him, and then robbed
him.
We learn from the Baiabridge
Democrat that on the 11th inst, .John
Green (co!) and his wife, left home
leaving three children securely fas
tend iu the house. The house caught
fire and burned two of the children,
while the oldest one saved his life by
crawling through a hole near the
door.
M r. Jos' ph Boyd, near llngan3ville,
is about 100 years old—is erect, has
a lull head of hair, can read ordinary
print wed without glasses,walks brisk
ly, and says ho can easily walk IT
miles. His wife is over 90, and they
have been living together nearly
three fourths of a century.
There is a sacrcdncss in tears. They
are not the mark of weakness, but of
power. They speak eloquently than
10.000 tongue*. They are the mes
senger ot overwhelming grief, of deep
contrition and unspeakable love.
Mr. Buckner’s bill for the national
education of women, introduced in
the House on Monday, proposes the
os nbiishment in the District of Co
lumbia of a university for the educa
tion of women in the liberal arts and
sciences, under the name of the “Wo
men’s Na ionai University,” and ap
propriates $500,000 for that purpose.
The tax upon dogs in such of the
counties in Tiiginia as have adopted
it has proved so successful, both in
the way of revenue and as a protec
tion lor sheep, that one of the Rich
mond papers advocates the enact
ment of a State dog tax us a most
efllciem means of raising funds to
preserve the State solvency and lift
her out of debt.
A woodpecker bored a hole in tile
spire of a church in Jackson, Miss.,
last spring, and made his nest within
if. In tne summer, however, a
swarm of bees flew to the spire, drove
out the woodpecker, and have since
fill the interior with honey. And
now man, the sovereign despoiler, lias
disco-- ered the hoard, and resolved
to exhibit the snii-a ; -
, —, no novel
i cbutenUi ut the State Fair.
Annual Subscriptiou $2 OO
Wit anti gumor.
Pistol aocidrnli are quite common,
but no one can bo hit by the bind foot
ot h mule aud not know it is loaded.
Wve got Fomo school bnv w ho re
mind us of die lute Louis Napoleon’s
mustache—they got both eud* waxed.
—[Arkansas Traveler*
Ned," said an afie. donate mother
to her promising boy, “if yon don’t stop
Min.king and loading so much yon’ll get
so after a while that yon wont care nv
tiling about work.” “Mother,” replied
the hopeful, lei.-u cty moving a long ci
gar, *T have done got so, now.”
A baby at the recent Eoslon oxhili
tiou weighed only a pound and a half,
and the Worchester Press save its
mother spanked it with a tack-bammei;
Nobody likes to be nobody ; hnfc
everybody is pleased to think
himself somebody. And evrybo iy
is somebody ; but when anybody
thinks himseif everybody, lie gen
erally thinks everybody else ie no
body.
A purchaser on being served
with ground coffee at a store, ask
ed : “Are there beans iu this cof
fee? “No sir,” answered the
clerk. l 'Ho\v do you know?”
answered the purchaser. ‘‘Because
we ran out of beaus Thursday and
had to put peas instead.
A woman tnay not he aide to
sharpen a pencil or hold an um
brella, but she can pack more ar
ticles in a trunk than a man can in
a one horse wagon,
Distance lias only a relative vabie.
When a man sits down on a carpet tack
Only a quarter of an inch long, it is hard
for him to realize that the point of it
didn't come out Rt the back of his neck.
He’s a Christian tnan, but he swears
he'll never ask another b esting as long
as he lives. The servant girl pm his
coffee too close to his plate, the other
morning, ands he shaded his vision
with hie hands to give ihar.ke, he tel his
elbow in ihe ettp The girl got the
blessing.—[F reeport Budget.
The hard-hearted Ad,land Review
arks: “Did yon ever notice how sensi
tive were the ears of a woman in church
to the ctying of some other womans ba
by, and how deafer than a post she is
when her own offspring sets np its pierc.-
ing squall.
Wife—“ Well, Jones, fudging from
your breath, # f can’t tell whether
you have been drinking whiskey or
swimming in i*. * Husband (reproach
fully)—“Hanhah, don’t you —hie—love
me enough to giramie—hie—tho bene
fit of the doubt S”
Mayor Ely, of New York, was present
at a dinner party the other evening. lie
had the honor to take the hostest to
dinner. “I don’t know, Mr. Mayor,”
said the lady, “whether you are at ail
aft aid of measles, but my little children
have them, and I myself have a slight
attack.” The Mayor rose to the occa
sion: “Madam,” said he “I should fce>
only too delighted to take any thing,
from so charming a sotuce.”
When you take the swarthy son of
liana and tbrnst him into the scarlet rai
ment cover’d with spjandles, fill his
hands with flaming handbills printed in
ml and blue, band him a blazed faced
banner punctuated with exclamation
points, p.nd tell him to make a walking
advertisement of himself all along the
streets, you give him a grip on the
Archimedean lever he wouldn’t relax
lor all the corals of India or a watermcb
lon the size of a furniture car.
She was as pretty a little bundle of
calico ns the Sotuli Sido can bo-ist of*
and modest as a vio'et wiilial. So, when
l ei- big cousin, throwing his foot over
the back of the chair, said saucily:
“You can’t do that,” she blushed with
embarrassment. Bnt alter be went out
she merely uncoupled her bustla in try
ing to make her little gaiter boots form
a parallels over the back of the chair—
and sho succeeded, too.
Tho Boston Commercial Bulletin to ! h
of a Western editor who desired to an*
r.ounce the arrival of four New York
Drummers and wrote:
“From the trunks in the ball-wavs of
tho hotels, we shonld judge the drum
mers from New York Louses have ar
rived in town.’’
The compositor made him say:
“From the simple dm- ks in the hell
ways of hotels, wo should judge druuk
ards from Now York houses have arrived
in town.”
We notic'd wagons this week, that,
came from beyond Preston, going to
Eufaula with cotton. —[Lumpk'n ln>
depent.
What is the matter? Di. I Dmao
1 1 — . - -
I in mere have some relatives
fttula whom they wished to vi~ -
No. 9