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J. W. ANDERSON, Editor and Proprietor THUS OUR LIFE SHINES. The breezes play, the breezes away Tho laughing, careless trees, Whispering songs of far away Across the foaming seas. Where flowers crown the meadows brown And summer’s voice ne’er dies, Beneath the mellow harvest moon Aud the azure southern skies. * The boughs hang low beneath the snow While harsh ‘he north wind howls, And winter veils the Bummer’s glow Beneath his crystal cowls. Thus our life shines while'Pleasure twines Her garland on its brow: But when in age its ray declines The buds all turn to snow. Alden Lyle. YEA. Hnw sweet is love, if what we love be sweet; How pure is love, if what we love be pure; How fair is love, if what we love be meet; How tender, strong, and patient to endure. It is a draught to balm a hitter world; It is a flame to light a darkened way; It is a gem within the heart impearled; It is Divinity’s divinest ray. Let but my love of such complexion be, Sweet, pure and fair, and take the rest who craves; 1’ame, wealth and power are bubbles of the sea But love the deep sea is and all its waves. In sooth, in sooth, were I in true faith told Take all the rest link love, I would cry. nay; But proffer love and all the rest withhold, And I would answer with my whole soul, “yea.” MONEY. Ezra Alden was in love with Clara Scudder, and sometimes in moments of great exaltation—for he was a modest youth, as every true lover should be—he had dared to think that she did not frown upon his passion. But Clara was the squire’s daughter and an heiress, while Ezra was but a small farmer, and so far from successful in that pursuit that it seemed absurd as well as impos¬ sible that he should aspire to the hand of the lovely Miss Scudder, who had been courted in vain even by fine city gentlemen. So he had sighed and oast longing looks from his place in the choir (where he sang in a fine tenor voice on Sundays) into the squire’s pew; and more than once he thought pretty Clara blushed brightly, and he knew well enough that she always smiled sweetly, and her voice when she spoke to him had a caressing sound, and alto¬ gether her manner toward him was not discouraging. But Ezra would not be enoouraged. He felt that it was useless for him to ask the squire for his daughter’s hand un¬ less he had a good pot of money in his own hand with which to back his pro¬ posal. So, instead of trying to compass the desired end by increased indnstry, he neglected his little farm more than before, and spent his whole time in wishing that he could find a pot of money somehow, in the manner of old fashioned stories—at the foot of a tree or under the foundation of his house. I believe ho would even have sought it at the end of the rainbow, like the boy in the nursery rhyme,-if he had been told there was a good chance of finding it there. Suddenly a rumor spread abroad that a wonderful gypsy had appeared, who was telling people fortunes that came true in the most remarkable manner, aud all the country-side was in a state of excitement on the subject. She was of somewhat exclusive character, this madam gypsy, and could only be con¬ sulted in a certain place, in the shadow of a wych-elm, in the open air, and dur¬ ing certain hours—these hours being between the last rays of the declining sun aud the first shadows of coming night. Of course the rumor of the gyjisy’s marvelous fortune-telling reached Ezra Alden, and equally, of course, he was much exercised in mind concerning it. lie found out the place where the for tune-telier divined these fair fortunes, and one evening, after watching the sun slowly disappear behind the western hills, he repaired there stealthily, and a little afraid of meeting Clara Scudder somewhere in the vicinity, for the wych elm was just on the further side of the squire s farm. However, he met no one except a hurried squirrel fast speeding to its home, and it was even more scared at being met than Ezra was ; so he has¬ tened to the wych-elm, and there, sure enough, was madam gypsy, sitting curled up against the trunk, and look Rig precisely as if she were waiting for him. She was a very old woman, bent al¬ most double; her lined and wrinkled a e wa3 the color of a butternut, and 10 taD gles of her hair hung in elf-like grizzled locks about her brow and over i t cheeks; but her black eyes had a '•ouderful brilliancy and such a keen look that they seemed to see right through him. She was wrapped iu a tittered old scarlet cloak, and a hood of 'be same was drawn well over her head. She gave a quick nod to Ezra, and mo¬ turned him to take a seat at her feet, ^vhich he did with his heart thumping as if he were before the Delphic oracle. And when she spoke he had to bend ‘H'ad and listen very attentively, for not only mutter her words in a very ■ thless fashion, but Bhe spoke in a ^ ,,oe that he had some difficulty in hearing . her. But he made out that u 4 said : “I was expecting you, my son, and I know what you come for;” and then she held out a hand even more butternut than her face—a shaking and tremulous hand; and Ezra made haste to cross the palm with silver, that being, as he knew, the time-honored custom. T hin happened before we had begun the re¬ turn to a specie basis; and silver was scarce, but Ezra had in his pocket a half-dollar piece, with a hole in it and a cross drawn on its face, which he had kept many years for luck. So, as there could be no more auspicious occasion than the present for using it, he timidly placed it in the gypsy’s hand, and again unintelligible fc^nt his ear attentively mumbling. to listen to her “I know the desire of your heart, my pretty gentleman,” said the gypsy. “It is a certain maiden not a hundred miles away, only you have the faint heart that seldom wins a fair lady. But if you could find a pot of money your spirit would bo bolder. Listen to me and obey me and you shall have your wish.” Ezra did listen with all his ears, and, as you may suppose, they were just then pretty long and wide, and capable of taking in a large amount. “You must dig up every foot of land you possess,” proceeded the gypsy; “you mustn't grow weary in yoursearoh —you must dig and dig, continuously, and plant and harvest, aud dig again, if necessary>«tfflij; mark my words, before a very long time, you will find the pot of money and the maiden will be yours. ” Ezra listened with faith, and departed with joy iu his heart. He fulfilled the fortune-teller’s injunction so well that all the country-side took to talking of him after the gypsy disappeared. He not only dug, but he plowed aud sowed and harrowed; he seemed taken with a sud¬ den mania for farming and work, which before had seemed distasteful and monot¬ onous, now, that he had an object in view, was full of excitement and in. terost, At first he dug and dug, looking for his pot of money; but as it did not turn up he continued to dig, full of faith, and growing every day more in¬ terested in his efforts. “What on earth has got into Ezra Al den ?” asked the neighbors, one of an¬ other. “Why, he has taken to working like all possessed. He’s hired a man, too, and the pair of ’em are at it from the first dawn of daylight to nightfall.” * ‘Whatever has got into him he’s going to have the best crops of the year,” an¬ swered one. “Lucky fellow. Just when there’s going to be a rise in flour, too, and he has no end of wheat growing, and iu splendid condition. ” “Why, Clara, isn’t that Ezra Aldeu’s farm ?” asked - the squire, as his daugh¬ ter one day drove him past it in her pretty pony carriage. “Yes, sir,” returned Clara, with a faint pink stealing into her clear pale cheek. “Has some one else farmed it, then ?” asked the squire. “There isn’t another farm around here fit to compare with it.” The pink in Clara’s cheek deepeued to a lovely crimson. “Oh, no, papa,” she said, softly, “it seems Ezra—Mr. Alden, has just de¬ veloped a sudden talent for farming.” “And a very first-rate talent, I should say,” said the old gentleman. “A man who can show such a farm as that can hold his head as high as any one.” Clara’s eyes glowed aud sparkled. She touched her ponies lightly; and her happy thoughts rushed off into the future at a pace to rival even their fast trotting. As the neighbors had foretold, Ezra Aiden had particularly fine crops that season; and his success at farming hav¬ ing also developed his commercial abil¬ ity, he sold all that he had to sell to ex¬ cellent advantage. “Well,” said Ezra, a3 he counted his gams, and tied them securely in his money-bag, “I haven’t found my pot of money, but this little pile is not to be despised, and I shall keep on. By George 1 I wonder if this was what the old gypsy meant.” Ezra had some time on his hands now for dreaming; and he took to sighing for Clara once more, but in a more hopeful spirit. “I will speak to her father,” he thought; “and, if he gives me encour¬ agement, I will ask Clara, plump, if she will marry me.” Now, some young men would have thought it safer to win tho daughter’s consent first; but Ezra was too honor¬ able for that. “If the squire won’t have me,” he said to himself, “it’s no use to ask Clara. She would never disobey her father. I shouldn’t care half as much for her if she would.” So he took his money-bag in his hand and sought the presence of Squire :: Scndder. The squire sat reading a novel of the Pickwick Papers iu his handsome old fashioned parlor, and being in a very genial mood, he received Ezra with the most encouraging kindness, aud listened to all that he had to say with a be il ig li ant smile. ■•I.»-. Ezra, holding up his money-bag but there’s plenty more, where I found this, ^“And pray where did you find it, M , Alden?' U k«d .he «*>• ».»« taken aback. “At the roots of my wheat and!)! ley,” answered Ezra, adding, with a laugh: “To tell the truth, sir, I con¬ sulted a fortune-teller, and she told me to dig and dig, and I would cartainiy find a pot of money. I haven’t found it yet, but I intend to keep on digging, and I don’t doubt but I shall find it by and by.” Squire Scudder burst into a hearty laugh, and kindly patted Ezra on the shoulder. “I don’t doubt bat you will, my lad,” he said, cheerily. “Honest industry is the best pot of money any young man ever found. As for Clara, you can talk over that matter with herself— she’s sitting there by the window, hid¬ den behind the curtains.” N ow that was dreadfully mean of the squire, not to have given Ezra a hint of Clara’s presence before; but he didn’t mean it. It seems quite impossible for these old gentlemen to realize how seri¬ ous such matters are to boys and girls. Squire Scndder rose with a nod and a smile, and went away, leaving Ezra in dire confusion, staring at the window curtains; and wishing the floor would open and swallow him. But it didn’t. Instead, the window curtains opened and a lovely young lady stepped out from them. “So, Mr. Alden,” she said, stepping forward, “you consulted the gypsy for¬ tune-teller, too ?” “Oh, Miss Scudder—Clara—you have heard everything,” stammered Ezra, sinking into the chair from which he had risen in his first consternation. “What a terrible fool you must think me 1” “But I don’t—I have great confidence in that gypsy’s predictions.” “Then you consulted her, too,” asked Ezra. “Dozens of times—she beguiled me of all my small silver.” “Well, she got but a single piece from me, that’s some comfort,” said Ezra, recovering somewhat, and ventur¬ ing to laugh slightly. “Was it anything like this ?” asked Miss Scudder, producing one from her Docket, and holding it toward Ezra on .he palm of a hand like cream. Ezra looked and started, and gave a little cry. It was his own lucky silver piece. He glanced into the laughing, blushing face; and then for the first time he looked straight into Clara Scud der’s eyes. They were very, very dark and wonderfully brilliant; but this time they did not seem to look through him —they sank before his glance, and veiled themselves under lovely, long, black lashes. “Oh, Clara!” murmured Ezra; “you were the gypsy?” “Of course I was.” “And you knew I loved you all the time ?” “Of course I did, you foolish boy— that’s why I had to invent a way of tell¬ ing you so.” Domestic Recipes. A good tomato soup may be msde by this recipe: Chop tine half a turnip, one carrot, two small onions, one stalk of celery and three sprigs of parsley; mix with one can of tomatoes and one quart of water, seasoning with one teaspoonful each of salt and sugar and a little pepper. Boil gently for one hour. As the water boils away add more, so that the quan¬ tity may not be diminished. Mix two heaping tablespoonfuls of flour thor¬ oughly with one of butter, and thin the mixture with some of the soup. Then mix the thickening with the soup and boil for five minutes. Strain the soup and serve. For a mutton ragout cut three pounds of the neck or breast of mutton in pieces an inch wide and two inches long, pul them in a saucepan with two ounces oi butter; set on the fire and stir occasion¬ ally until brown, then add a tablespoon¬ ful of flour; stir for* one minute and cover with cold water, salting to taste. Season with one onion, a bun ill of sea¬ soning composed of one bay-leaf, one sprig of thyme, four of parsley and a clove, also one clove of garlic chopped fine. Boi! gently until two-thirds done; then add pieces of peeled potato, cut in the shape of orange carpels, as many pieces of potato as of mutton. Boil gently until done. Place the meat in the center of the dish with the pieces of potato around it. Skim the fat from the sauce and strain it over the dish. Serve very hot. Veal cutlets prepared in this way are palatable: After trimming the. cutlets nicely, dip them in melted butter and dust them well with a mixture of equal parts of grated Parmesan cheese and bread-crumbs. Then dip them in beaten egg and dust them again on both sides with the cheese and crumb mixture and j ^ ^ brown Boil half a pound of j macaron j ( atl( j a ft e r it is cupful drained of add tomato two ounces of butter and a gauce 80me grated Parmesan cheese sa | t to Let this become thor on . j |, oti stirring occasionally. Put ^ cen t er of a dish and place the cntleta ^ A Bill.— The Michigan Legislature Z'XTJSS: “ |h ^ ^ opposite his name. ^ lie aU r , gh t in M.chigan,” says a local paper, and adds “We won ; T 1885. »• Ben: Pebley PoorbIs reported to Lave once declared that he could produce one thousand speeches of his own—but they had been delivered by sore® one else. English towns of less -;&m 10,000 in habitants have scarcely gru*n at all in the last decade. The increase of ports and seaboard towns is much greater than that of those inland. • Lilac postal notes, which It have rftffof been' armed out by Uncle Sam the about 2,000,000 a month, >id#ill be in creased hereafter 40 per cent.,'am hand led bv ‘ 35 persons and are counted’forty • y mes Housebuilders have found that me¬ chanics and the poor of our city do -not rent houses in tfie suburbs ^; : tion of fares to the city is veflnHHHns with them, and the subuff^tivfe, wivef licqEpain of the lonesomeness of A Boston physician advises everybody to ascertain what diseases have carried off his ancestors, with a view to guard¬ ing himself against inherited tendencies by adopting the requisite manner of life, place of residence and neral self treatment. It is said that nobody scorns to be do¬ ing any business in Santa Fe except the Mexican wood-dealers; and as soon as they dispose of their little burro-loads at twenty-live cents each, they trim their animals loose, knock ofjLfor the day and gamble until they loslflll their money A young married woman of “upper Manhattan,” says the Mail and Ex¬ press, who has been addicted to painting her lips as well as her cheeks and eye¬ lashes, is now under medical treatment to reduce the size of her lips, which have become “horribly enlarged" by chemical poison. The growth of the oyster industry in Connecticut has been remarkable. The first steamer that was used in this trade was put on less than ten years ago, and now there are forty steamers, with an aggregate capacity of 36,720 bushels a day. Four more large new steamers are building for the spring. A Wall street man says that to his knowledge not less thaA* §2,000,000 oi Norwich, Conn., money ha -een squan¬ dered in the street in the !a¥ tvro years. Nearly every business man who had a dollar set it whirling on the margin of a railroad or mining stock. Men sold their estates and eVen personal property to keep up their margins. The Earl of Aylesford, the Texas cow¬ boy, in fifteen years squandered ovei 83,000,000, including his debts, and killed himself by drink. The societj papers ouly say, “Poor Joe! He had no enemy but himself.” He was so brutal that his wife left him and took up with the Earl of Marlborough, who will no doubt now marry her. There has been no official publication of the votes cast for Butler and St. John in the late election. The Boston Globe made a very careful inquiry and ascertained Butler’s total vote to be 234,- 843, and St. John’s 148,698. The Rock Islander says that after careful figuring it makes the result as follows: Butler, 274,785 ; St. John, 150,633. An English ship, the Daphne, cap sized when launched, and many persons were killed. She was raised and re¬ named the Rose, but only to be sunk at her anchor in harbor. Again raised, she ran ashore, was got off with diffi¬ culty and named afresh the Ifffcthe, and a month ago, en route to Smyrna, she struck a rock on the Irish coast and is laid up for repairs. The camel has twice the carrying power of an ox. With an ordinary load of 400 pounds he can travel twelve to fourteen days without water, going four teen miles a day. They are fit to work at five years old, but their strength be gins to decline at twenty-five, although they live usually until forty. They are often fattened at thirty for food, the flesh tasting like beef. — - The Lecture Field. Florenee Marryat has been on a lec ture tour in this country, and she is used up by it. “Before I came to America,” she says, “I was urged to wear my prettiest dresses, because Americans appreciated tilings of that kind. Those beautiful gowns have been ruined, sweeping the dirty stages of the little concert halls through the oil re gions and mining towns of the West. Of Canada I cannot complain, but since I entered the United States my tour lias been one continual round of hardships, I wculd get off the train in the evening to be driven through the rain or snow to the hall. Then I would frequently be obliged to change my traveling dress in a cold dressing room, and then, after a steady two hours of talking and singing, would be obliged to hu*ry ou my travel ing costume again and drive in the open carnage either to another train or to so’ le dingy country hotel.” IjORd Aylesford, the famous Texas cowboy, two or three years ago, insured, with some difficulty, various English and Scotch offices to the tune of 8490 000 The medical olli cers of the companies met the at the time dis in solemn conclave, and only eentients were the medical represents fives of a well-known Anurican office, which refused the risk, end thus has escaped a heavy loss. THE MARDI GRAS PAGEANTS. A Yiakor’s lui|»rc*«ion« of Urillinot Street Hpeciacles «l New Orleans. The whole city Rave itself up reck, lessly to the Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday), writes a New Orleans correspondent. No P a &' eaut of aDy kind that New y ° rk CTer aeen can compare with the Carnival processions. 1 lie fun began °a Monday, the day before Mardi Gras, *’ ith tbe arrival ° f *“• The Kingtbia was f rsonated by a young cottoD broker > who “ a "eU-known clab man 9nd P op “ lat about towD ; » upposed l* * . t* ! ? known who 0 he 0 is. .* T He was ‘ received 7 at the station by a military escort, and three or four wagon loads of harl eqnins sand jugglers. He was mouuted on a milk-white steed, and the grand cortege psaceeded to the City Hall, where the keys of the city were presented to him by a curly-haired and awkward Mayor, who made a speech which nobody heard excepting a very obvious reporter, who was quite the most important person present. He wore a high beaver that looked as if it had borne the brunt of action, and his willowy form was clad in a faded ulster that was buttonless and frayed. His gold-rimmed glasses rested on a nose that was decidedly of the ac¬ quisitive order, and a pair of out-at-the fiuger gloves adorned his hands. When he first appeared he came rushing up the street as though the fate of nations depended on his speed, and stalked majestically through the crowd. A large pie-plate shield glistened upon his shoulder. He sprang up the steps of the City Hall and shouted for the Mayor. Men, women, and children stepped aside, and he suddenly found himself alongside his Honor. The Mayor looked at the pie-plate badge, and was impressed. The reporter burst into a glassy but engaging smile, said “How are you ?” and then glanced around at the admiring multitude. He took up his position alongside the Mayor, and produced a roll of white paper in which grocers usually wrap tea. He drew a pencil out of the breast pocket of his coat, and g'anoed critically at the vast throng. Then he made a pleasing re¬ mark to the Mayor, who looked gratified at the attention, and straightway began to take copious notes of the scene be¬ fore him. Two thousand eyes were ad¬ miringly fixed upon him while he reeled off page after page of notes. Then Rex appeared in the distance, and the eyes of the throng were for a moment diverted. A moment later Rex stopped, and the Mayor began his speech. It was uttered deep down in his Honor’s throat, and was only heard by the reporter, who proved an appreciative and volatile listener, shout¬ ing “Bravo!” “Verygood !” and “Hear! Hear !” at intervals, so that finally the Mayor turned around and delivered the whole speech into the reporter’s ear, the reporter meanwhile displaying a a smile that outshone the radiance of his badge. He took notes with earnest¬ ness all the time. Then a very small girl in pink, hold¬ ing up a very large cushion ou which rested a gilt key, was carrried down and placed beside a charger which the King bestrode. His Majesty took the key and the procession moved on. That night there was a procession of floats, It is impossible to give any idea of the beauty of these night pageants. The floats are two stories high and of enor¬ mous size. They are splendid in gilt and tinsel, and with the living figures in costumes are as spectacularly beauti feill as any of the great skow pieces on the New York stage. If the most strik¬ ing tableaus of the “Black Crook, r I ‘S trdanapalus, the “Seven Ravens, r and “Excelsior could be seen in rapid succession, they would bo disappointing compared with the Mardi Gras night pageants except in the matter of I sllflpely or 8 at18 of locomotion, Women Rule iu Bantam. 1 Among the colonial possessions, or, j more correctly, dependencies, of Hol j land, says a foreign letter writer, there } is its a constitution remarkable and little the State original which, eostume in of its inhabitants, surpasses the boldest ; of dreams of the advocates of women s rights. In the Island of Java, between the cities of Batavia and Bamarane, is the Kingdom of Bantam, which, although tributary to Holland, is an independent State. The Sovereign is, indeed, a man, : but all the rest of the government be- 1 longs to the fair sex. The Kiug is en tirelv dependent upon his State Council. The highest authorities, military com j manders and soldiers are, without ex eeption, of female sex. 1 hese amazons ride in the masculine style, wearing sharp steel points instead of spu»e. Tl,e y carr v a P°i n j® d lanoe ’ wbieh tbey - swing very gracefully, and also a musket, which is discharged at full gallop. The ! capital of this little State lies in the \ most picturesque part of the island in a fruitful plain, and is defended by two well-kept fortresses, I believe in the colossal; a need deep as hell and grace as high as heaven, I | believe in a pit that is bottomless and a heaven that is topless. I believe-iu an j infinite God and an infinite atonement; iu love and mercy; an everlasting cove uant ordered m all things sure, ot which I the substance and reality is an infinite i Christ, VOL XL NO. 20. LOCKED IN THE LAKE. ARUTIC EXl'KRIENCE OK THE l'UO t’Ei.i.KR jmrnniAN. Seventeen .Hen Leave the Ship nnil Irons, Thirty Mile* of lee tor! 4aBl*tnnee—Terri¬ ble Sulterinx on the Road -Crowned wltb Sucee»»-Tlie Lake Frozen. A dispatch from Grand Haven, Mich., says: Full particulars were received here regarding the terrible experience of the crew of the ice-locked steamer Michigan. On Monday morning, February 9, the Michigan, with Capt. Prindiville and twenty-nine men on board, left this port in search of the distressed steamer Oneida. When off Ludington the Mich¬ igan encountered a gale and was Lemmed in by heavy ice. She drifted with the ice to the southward, experien¬ cing many dangers, but at no time being within twenty miles of land. She finally got in compact ice, many feet thick, to¬ ward the head of the lake, but on ac¬ count of the drifting and turning they could not tell their exact whereabouts Sunday last it was decided that, owing to short provisions, half of the crew would have to go ashore, as the food would last but a week longer. Monday was very stormy, Tuesday morning, from the crosstrees, a rim of land was sighted to the eastward. Thir¬ teen men were chosen to remain and seventeen of the most hardy to make the land. The mercury was ten below. At 7 o’clock Joseph Russell, first mate; David Martin, steward; W. P. Kenny, clerk, and fourteen of the crew, started with a day’s rations, axes, prkehole, blankets, etc., expecting that they might have to be out over night, as the land seemed thirty miles away. When about twelve miles off the boat, Clerk Kenny broke through the ice, wetting his right leg to the knee. They went on about six miles, when they found Kenny’s leg frozen. All were badly ex¬ hausted, as the ice was very rough aud blocked into nearly impassable ridges many feet high and miles wide. Each man went for himself, knowing that life depended on his own exertions, except Russell and Martin, who helped Kenny. When off land four miles Kenny coul d not stand, and dragged himself along on his lands and knees for two miles, when he was completely exhausted and so frozen that he could not move and urged the others to leave him and save themselves. Some of the party had by this time— 5 o’clock—reached the shore, and found a few houses at West Casco. They warned the neighborhood, and the farrn ers went out and carried the brave but insensible Kenny to the beach. The land there rises 169 feet almost straight. All bands worked like horses to throw off the insensibility creeping on them and climb the steep. Heaving lines were placed on Kenny, and he was drawn up by those above and carried to a dwelling. The men were apportioned around among the farmers, who williug ly cared for them. Kenny recovered at 10, and everything was done for him that was possible. All of the men are able to take care of themselves except Kenny. The surgeons have dressed his limbs, and it is hoped he will soon be all right. The Michigan is now in no dan¬ ger, since so many of the crew have left, the provisions will last the rest 30 days. A Mormon Story. A Mormon bishop told a friend of ihe editor of a Salt Lake paper of this, i few days ago, that he had suffered with the blues all day, because of something one of his daughters had said to him. When asked to explain, he said: “Yon know my daughter Mary, the eldest child of my second wife? Sac is about the age of Lizzie, who is the itaughter of my first wife. Well, this morning f was going with Mary over to Lizzie’s mother’s when she suddenly said : “ ‘Father, I wish I was Lizzie,’ “I asked her why, and reminded her that sho was quite as bright and pretty as Lizzie. “ ‘It is not that,’ she said; ‘L'afie’s mother is your first wife.’ “We did not speak again all the way, and I have had the blues ever since.” This is a true story all but the names. Yery Poor Coffee. An individual, evidently connected with the coffee trade, writes to the Med¬ ical Record to say that the colored and polished coffee pronounced deleterious by the Board of Health is a small mat¬ ter as compared with the sale of “poor skimmings.” Skimmings coffee is .a damaged and decayed article, usually Java, which hai “sweated” aboard ship, aud thus tnrns of a rich brown color, though the berry is wholly decayed and has an offensive odor. The '‘skimmings” is dried aud mixed with sound coffee. A quantity of it was sold recently for three quarters o! a cent a pound. Three years ago 30,000 bags of the rot¬ ten berry were disposed o! iu New York from the wreck of the Piinv, from Rio. A Gain.— A Vermont farmer made a net profit of 843.50 from the produce of a single hen turkey during the past sea¬ son. This is equal to 100 bushels of wheat in Kansas at 43 cents per bushel, with this difference : It would cost as much to raise and harvest the wheat as it would bring, while the proceeds of the turkey were clear gain. STRAY BITS OF HUMOR FOUND IN THE HOI.OINK OF OCR EXUIIANGEH. All llroken IJp-KIndne** In the Extreme -A CnutieuN Lover—Very Bugjf-Some body Saying Something. Etc., Ete. ALL BROKEN UP. “Well, I got on a freight train and rode up to Hubbleson’s siding, forty three mild that night, to see my girl,” said a western young man in conver¬ sation with Burdette. ‘.‘I allowed to visit with her folks all that night and Sunday, an’ come home on the passen ger Monday mornin’. She lives six milcl from the station, an’ I tramped out to the house in all that blizzard, ani got there ’long ’bout ’leven o’clock Saturday night. An’ I’ll be teetotally cow kicked by a bnllrush if there was a livin’ soul to home 1 Old folks, ’t seems, had gone away to Lincoln to stay over Sunday, my girl had went down to Grier’s Island to stay a week, the hired man had taken the only horse left on the place an’ gone down to a dance on Beasely’s branch, eleven mild away, an’ there I was, left over Sunday where I didn’t know a sonl. Went to Deacon Mumbler’s an’ told him who my father was, an’ he kept me. Deacon’s stone blind and has the asthma so bad he can’t talk ; his wife’s so deef she can’t hear it thunder, they have no childxen an’ don’t keep no help, an’ don’t cook anything Sundays. I went to church three times that day and went to two funerals ; the deacon goes to bed at eight o’clock and so I shivered on a straw bed under a cotton quilt in a north room for thirteen hours. Now think of all that when a feller’d been ex¬ pectin’ a turkey dinner, singin’ ‘Hold the Fort,’ by a melodeon ail afternoon an’ hnggin’ the prettiest girl in all New braskv from sundown till one o’clock in the mornin’, an’ tell me ef I ain’t got more right to feel broke up than any man this side o’ the kingdom ? Say ‘no* an’ I’ll slam you on top o’ the head with this overshoe 1” HOW THE DOCTORS CURED HIM. Two doctors were disputing by the bedside of County Clerk Keenan during his recent illness. “I tell yon the liver is diseased,” said one. “Nonsense; nothing of the kind. It is the spleen,” said the other. “Very well; we shall see who is in the right at the post-mortem examination." Hearing which Keenan became real mad and got up and dressed himself. He began to improve from that time and hasn’t known a sick day since. good and bad cities. Bad city for the wioked—Oinu. Good city for the empty—Phil. Good city for the Indian—Lo-well. Bad city for a man with false teeth— Gnashville. Good city for a laundry—Washington. Good city for the wealthy—Rich¬ mond. Good town for a sea captain—Salem. Bad city for a musician—Sing Sing. Good city for impudent dudes— Young-kern. A COMPLIMENT IN DOUBT. Dear friend Clara (looking at Belle’s photograph)—“Wliat a lovely picture 1” Belle— “Do you really think it looks like me 1” Dear friend Clara- “Oh, no, dear; not a particle. "—Boston Transcript. THE MEItirS IN THE CASK. “What are the relative merits in the case?” asked the attorney of a young man who had sought his advice in rela¬ tion to a divorce. “Relative merits?” reiterated the young man, who was apparently dazzled at the remark, “Yes,” replied the attorney. “Well, the relative merits in the case is an exasperated son-in-law, and the de¬ merits is a meddling mother-in-law.— Pretzel’s Weekly. *NDNESS IN THE EXTREME. “Well, deacon, have you remembered the poor during this cold weather ?” “Yes, parson, I think of them very often. Only yesterday a poor, shiver¬ ing little feHow came to my door with¬ out clothes enough to cover his naked¬ ness. It was a very pathetic sight.” “What did you do for the poor little creature, deacon?” “Let him shovel off my sidewalk and it made him nice and warm, he actually perspired .”—Chicago News. SADLY DEGENERATED IW CUPID. “Have you noticed how Mary D. has changed of late ?” asked a stately beauty, caressiDg a diminutive black and-tan, whose collar was ornamented with silver bells. “What’s the matter with her ?” was the query. “Why, you know she was married last week, and her maid informs me that she has not fed her dog onoe since her marriage: has scarcely noticed him, in fact. She actually seems to prefer the society of her husband.” Exclamations of astonishment, COULD BE SEEN AT A GLANCE. Jones—Some fellows have no more spunk about them than a baby. Smith—Why do you think so? J.—Saw a couple going along the road in a sleigh a short time ago. He was driving with both hands and she was sitting fully a foot apart from him. S.— H’m ! Carried couple, I guess. - Boston Courier.