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ANDERSON & WALLIS, Proprietors
The Bores.
There's the men who lets you shake his limpy
hand—■
He’s a bore.
And the man who leans against you when you
stiui tl—
Get his gore.
There’s a man who has a fear
That the world is, year by year,
Growing worse—perhaps lie’s near—
Bolt the door.
There's the fellow with conundrums quite an¬
tique—
He’s a bore.
And the man who ask you “What?” whene’er
you speak,
Though you roar.
There’s the man who slap9 your bat*
With a but ton-bursting whack—
If 3'ou think he’s on your track,
Bolt the door.
Them’s tie punster with his everlasting pun—
Hu’s a bore.
And the man who makes alliterative “fun”—
Worse and more.
There’s the man who tells the tale
l'hata year ago was stale—
Like as not he’s out of jail—
Bolt Hie door.
— Eugene Field.
MY PROPERTY.
Aunt Fanny had just come to make
her usual summer visit and 1 had
proudly taken her through the house
to have her admire the improvements
made since her last visit,
"It is all very nice and convenient,
dear,” she said, as she seated herself
in the easy-chair 1 offered her “but did
you never regret giving those bonds to
your husband, May?”
“Most assuredly not, auntie. Why ?”
“Because 1 thought it very unwise
and that some day you would bitterly
regret it. It was your poor father’s
property and should have been re¬
tained in your own name I am sure.”
“Now, don’t worry, auntie, please.
Y’ou came to have a pleasant visit
with us. Ella has been nearly frantic
with delight since I told her you were
coming.”
“The child, yes. She is a dear little
thing, to be sure ! But do you know
that if your husband should die to-day
she would inherit the property you
gave him. If she were your own
child it would be different.”
“But she is mine, all 1 have, certain¬
ly. 1 love her dearly, and 1 hopo to be
a good mother to her, notwithstanding
•all the bitter things written and said
against step-mothers.”
“l’es, and you are a good mother to
her. But to suppose still farther. If
she, too, should be taken away then
your property would not revert to you,
but go to her relatives, of whom you
know nothing, would that be right?”
“Perhaps not. But why do you say
these dreadful things? She and her
father are as likely to live as I. And
a wife is entitled to dower.”
“Yes, the interest from one-third of
■what her husband leaves. Just the in¬
terest, mind you. And you gave him
the means to go into business. You
know he failed once, and may, possi
bly, again.”
“But he paid up every penny,” 1
flashed back, proudly.
“I know, and it was right; but, con¬
sequently you married a poor man
with a child as well as a wife to sup¬
port on a clerk’s salary.”
“You forget, auntie, that he still
had this beautiful home when all his
creditors had been fully paid; the
home in which Ella was born and
where his poor wife died.”
“I forgot nothing ! and what I re¬
member with the greatest bitterness is
your unadvised act of yielding up your
little patrimony, intrusted to me by
your dying father for you, and that
you took no obligation for it what¬
ever.”
“But,” I replied, “he invested it in
a business which supports us nicely.
Besides, it was not his fault, He
wanted me to have interest-bearing
notes, or to be the company in the
business, as if 1 would! and 1 told him
never to mention the subject to me
again, and he never has.”
“Then all I have to say is you were
very silly as well as imprudent.”
But it was not all she had to say,
even to telling mo that a certain
match-making mother had said that
my husband would have preferred one
of her daughters if she had held prop¬
erty in her own right as 1 did. That
he needed the money and married me
simply to obtain it.
”Don’t, aunty, please.” I said with
a little shiver.
“Nor would I, but to convince you
that he should havo secured your little
property to you, if only for the opinion
°f others.”
■Jt is all right just as it is. Ah !
here comes Ella,” and my dear old
lordly wise aunt forget to lecture in
her delight at seeing the little fairy
w ho nearly smothered her with kisses.
Rut I i, ad received a hurt that rank
'ed like « thorn in the flesh. And so
■Irs. Jones thought he married me for
y ttuney? And perhaps others have
tfa e same opinion * Of course I knew
he did not. and said it over and over
' myself helped
a 1 our one
•n to prepare the evening meal.
he Comnaton 11 Star*
Ami v.'uwi my husband came with
his hearty, cheery welcome for Aunt
Fanny I looked wistfully in his face
for an answer to my mental question,
for question it would become in spite
of my firm determination to ignore it
as such.
Once more during Aunt Fanny’s
stay did she attempt to renew the con
versation interrupted by Ella’s en¬
trance. But 1 only said: “If you
please, auntie, I would rather not say
anything more about that,”
And she who thought she was only
striving for my interest, replied, coldly:
“Pardon me May, r shall not offend
again.”
“Offend you, who have been father,
mother and auntie all in one?” and I
kissed her as I had ever done since she
drew me away from her only brother's
coffin, hiding her own grief to assuage
mine.
“Do you remember, auntie, dear,
when I used to have sulks and you
would take me out hunting—hunting
sunshine, you called it?” 1 often
think of it when things go wrong, as
they must occasionally, and wish you
with me to go hunting sunshine.”
“Yes, I remember. You were a
great comfort to me, and I am afraid I
have never quite forgotten the man
who coaxed my "brother's only child
away from the lonely old maid.”
“And the best friend a wayward
girl ever had,” I replied.
But somehow, after Aunt Fanny’s
visit my thoughts and feelings were
not the same. Had I been unwise, as
she said, in giving up everything to
my husband? And had he been too
eager to accept it? I was fearful it
was even so. lie should have made
me understand that i had reserved
rights and not taken my property to
control (inadvisedly,especially to invest
in a business subject to all the flunct
uations of the market. And now he
never spoke of it only as his own, and
I had helped him to it all, and lie had
forgotten it.
In my morbid state of feeling 1
found so many bitter things of which
to complain to myself. We had been
married four years and during that
time many improvements had been
made in the house and around it, in¬
curring an expense of some thousands
of dollars. My slightest wish in re¬
gard to a convenience or modern
change was satisfied almost as soon as
expressed. And it was, as I said to
my aunt: “a beautiful home.”
But what if it was? It was withmy
money it had been embellished and
made more valuable, and he could
easily afford to be lavish in expendi¬
ture.
“Aly money us •sautify his
home,” I said, bitterly, glancing at my
handsome surroundings.
When mine and thine are having a
a battle, love and tenderness flee from
the contest. And at times I was
frightened at the hard, bitter thought
I was hiding from my husband, or
fancied 1 was hiding from him.
“What is it Alay?” he once said
with a look of wistful tenderness.
“Are you quite well?”
“Never better,” 1 replied, lightly,
too thoroughly ashamed of the imp 1
was harboring to give it a name.
It was jiwt a month since Aunt
Fanny left us—a wretched month to
me—when one evening my husband
came in and gave me a folded paper.
Look, dear, and see if it is ail right!
It was a certificate of deposit in the
bank for just the amount of the bonds
1 had given him four years ago.
“If you prefer the bonds I can ob¬
tain them for you, but the interest is
very low now, and that reminds me,
you will have to trust me awhile for
your accumulated interest. This is
all I have saved from my business, but
you are to have the interest, every
penny.”
“But whatever am I to do with it?”
I asked, in amazed bewilderment.
“Why, keep a check-book and spend
your own money as vou please,” he
replied laughing heartily, “And now
is the embargo removed, and may I
tell you how grateful 1 am for the use
of the money, and how much more for
the loving confidence displayed in
tending it?”
I could not reply, for the little good
left in me was groping, dismally, in
the valley of humiliation.
“I will consider silence consent.
then. Have you never suspected how
1 secured your patrimony to you in
case anything happened to me before I
could repay you ?”
“But I would not have any security,
. V(,u know that. 1 said, eagerly,
snatching at the last ray of self-re
spect.
“But you did all the same, This
house with its two lots was deeded to
y° u and the deed recorded the same
da Y I reived your bonds, bo you see
I have not only been using your money,
Rut living in your house-Etta and I
- for lhe P ast ‘” ur - vea,s -
“Oh ! why did you?” I asktd.
COVINGTON, GEORGIA, WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 0, 1880.
‘•Why did I live in your house? Be¬
cause I had nowhere else to live, and,
besides, I rather liked it.”
You know what I mean. Why did
you deed the place to me?”
“Because it was right to do so. I was
acting as your guardian, and had no
right to use your property without
giving security, bon’t you see?”
“Yes, and now I am to deed it back
to you ?”
“No, I like it just ;.s it is,”
“I must write to Aunt Fanny, to¬
night,” I said more to myself than
him.
He indulged in a low whistle, i
had unwittingly betrayed myself, and
compromised with a full confession,
even to the grievous report that lie
find only married me for my little
fortune.
“Did you believe that?” he asked,
gravely.
“I tried hard not to believe it, but
just now 1 seem to myself such a per¬
fect type of total depravity that I
wonder you took me under any cir¬
cumstances.”— Mari / T. Ames, in Inter
Ocean.
Greatest Diamond in (he World.
Gur Amsterdam correspondent tells
the story of the immense African dia
mond—weighing 457 carets in the
rough—which is in process of being
cut by Mr. Jacques Metz, one of the
largest diamond cutters of that city.
The stone is said to have a somewhat
curious history, and, though its exact
birthplace is only a matter of conject¬
ure, it is known that it was found by
somebody in one of the four mines of
Kimberley, in the Capo Colony, South
Africa.
It is said that in June or July of
through the searching house unper
eeived and sold it to four irregular leaving
de tiers for $15 tV« 000 Before
niffht'of'drinking the province new owners had a
ended n wo ofScm ana e-mbhrur bStn£ which to
owners owners instead s ead ot of four our. The Ihe two two
owners escaped the secret pohee ami
reachedtape lowu, where they found
a dealer who readily paid them $95,000
for the stone. There is an export
duty on diamonds shipped from ( ape
Colony of one-quarter per cent., but it
appears that this stone was smuggled
out of the colony by a passenger on
the mail steamer and brought to Lon
don, where its presentation at Hatton
Garden created a great sensation.
A former resident at the Cape mines
managed to form a company of eight
persons, who bought the stone between
them for $225,000 cash, on condition
that the seller or sellers should receive
a ninth share of the eventual profits.
The real value of the stone has been
estimated at London at above $1,000,
000. According to the rules of valua
tion of the famous Tavernier diamond,
its value would be $4,166,980. The
correspondent says that the art of dia
mond polishing existing in Amster
dam for more than three centuries has
been brought to such perfection that
it is expected that this stone, weig ung
in the rough 457 carats (and said to be
whiter and purer than any of - its . . his- .
toncal predecessors), will lose in work
ing much less than other famous
stones; that it will be more rapidly
finished, and it has every chance of re¬
maning (he largest and finest diamond
of the world.— Manufacturin'} Jeweler.
An Afghan Omen.
In Afghanistan, when two families
are negotiating a marriage, an omen is
consulted in the following manner:
Several slips of paper are cut up, and
the half of them is wriiten, “to l*e, „
on
the other half “not to be. „
and on
These pieces of paper are placed under
a praying carpet, and the anxious
father devoutly raises his hands in
prayer to God for guidance, and ex¬
presses his submission to the all- wise
decree of the Almighty in the matter
of his son’s or daughters marriage.
Then, putting his hand under the car¬
pet, be draws out a paper, It on it
should be written “to be,” he thinks
the marriage is ordained of God; if
“not to be,” no overture or negotiation
will be listened to. Sometimes, how¬
ever, the interests of state, or the value
of the dowry, or the termination of a
long-standing blood feud, will induce
tbe p j 0 n 3 chieftain to put aside the
0luea as having been influenced by
tbe p 0wers 0 f darkness,
A Trusted Citizen.
•AVho is that old duffer?” asked the
new groceryman of the milk man, as
a well-dressed man went by.
-Whv he’s one of our most trusted
citizens” was the eloquent reply.
•How do vou make that out? He
has been owing me a bill ever since 1
here. ’
came
••That’ just how we make it out,”
laughed the milk man gleefully, and
the groceryman s, ratchet! his head till
! he citiig U.i. ~~jfei hunt i raotler.
WITH A SILVER ilSTOL.
How the Editor Killed the
Colonel in a Duel.
A Valuable Relic and the Tragic Story
that is Connected With It,
Mr. V. I\. McElheny, of Forty-fourth
street, has in his possession a valuable
relic, it is a silver-mounted pistol
which in a celebrated duel fought in
1815 at Pittsburgh, was given Mr.
McElheny by the eminent Judge
Wilkins, who was secretary of war
and minister of the United States to
Russia. The weapon is of old style,
using powder and ball in. -read of a
cartridge. When all .the arrangements
were made for the duel the ..-oconds of
the contestants ordered the nistols to
be made there not being anything suit
able to be found. The order was giv
en to a gunsmith to have them made
fifteen inches long, one-fburthinch
bore, silver-mounted, with* mime of
fighters engraved upon the protectors
ot the triggers. The protector, trig
ger, and hammer of this dhjapon are
“J® t0 of ‘^ solid 3 va,u silver, * The and? M^ Jing in large JIr
‘
* upon *' ' lheD it: “E y 8 Pendland, possession _ Pi^irgh, b%|engraved Pa„
1815.” The weapon,!®* jr ' ° a
curious make to those St" present
day, A
and it is ala tfat there
is not anothef «is! lattern in
existence, having Dips ; in a dif
ferent style fronf’these fere even
then used. j ■ I
A hen Gen. AnthonyAv-t? was on
his way to the north west fwith an
army to settle ardispute wHUfcfS jfndb
ans they stopped at this cit^ for rest.
1Dg ^ ... nat,lt , W < JX wf FT H ed , to , be ’
’
revea S ed - He declded to VYatch for
' Um on a P^cipal street o the city
Md horae '>' hi l’ ^ 1Ie ^ choae
I ^ ^ ' U tf ould 1,0 a cro " d
' “ the to witness tjie
chastisement. , It ha®j>enedi:m a Sal
„ rday in the latter part of
Stationed on the corner of two
le;uling street9 , about 5 0 - clock> witb
arms folded, was Col. Bates, in uni
form of the United States army, look
ing aroun(1 a3 though just idling his
time, but some person must have told
j be secreti f or as soon as he stopped a
crowd began to collect, and in about
g ve minutes the street was blocked.
Editor Pendland was walking slowly
down the street when he saw the
crowd gather, and, always on the look
ou t f or news, he hurried down and
was sooa making his way through.
ask ing what was wrong, when Col.
Rates loosened his cape and produced
a j ar g e w hip. He shouted: “This is
W hat is wrong 1” at the same time
striking Air. Pendland across the
shoulders, and continued to exercise
himself in that way till the crowd in
terfered. Then Air. Pendland, with a
sm ji e an( ] a “Thank you,” left as did
also coi Bates.
When Air. Pendland reached the
offlce he sent a challenge to the colonel,
but it was refused, witb the reason
that the co j 0 nei never fought with a
person whom he had horsewhipped,
Air. Pendland was not to be put off
with such an excuse, but sent the
second challenge, telling lrim he was a
coward if he then refused to fight, but
again the answer was the same.
Frank Smith, who had taken both
messages and who was a firm friend
of Air. Pendland, then sent a challenge,
saying that he would fight, and. there
being no reason why he should refuse,
it was accepted, Air. Smith giving Col.
Bates choice of weapons. IVhen Mr.
Pendland heard what Air. Smith had
done he immediately offered himself
as a second. Coi. Bates secured as his
second Judge Wilkins, who had just
at that time been admitted to the bar.
All arrangements were made. Mention
is made above of the name of Air.
Pendland being engraved on one of
the pistols. The reason is that he was
one of the most interested parties.
The day on which was to be decided
which of the two men was the best
shot was cold and wintry, the snow
being six inches deep. Sleighs were
secured and the party uf six retired to
the field of conflict, which was back
of Herron hill, in ALinersville, there
being very few residences in that sec
tion then. Ten paces were measured,
and the duelists took their places. The
word was given to fire, and two sharp
reports rang out on the air. foUowed
by a groan from Col. Bates. His
doctor stepped quickly to him and
pronounced him dead, having been
shot through the heart. Ho was tak
en to the city and the next day was
buried. The same day Gen. Wayne’s
army moved on.
The gentleman who now possesses
this valuable relic has had large offers
made for it by curiosity-seekers sev
eral times, but refused to sell— -PitU
burgh Commercial QaatU,
Terrapin Farming.
Over $1,500,000 worth of diamond
back terrapin are taken out of the
Chesapeake Bay and its tribuaries eve¬
ry year. As the price averages $30 a
dozen, this represents 600,000 terrapin
annually, baring the season 500 men
are ehgaged in catching them. They
are found on both sides of the bay,
from its mouth to its head, and they
are pafticulaily abundant in the num¬
erous rivers and inlets which branch
off from the Chesapeake. lake the i
canvass-back duck, the terrapin feeds
chiefly on water celery or watercress,
and the place where this grass grows
thickly is always a terrapin feeding
ground. It is a fact well know that
this celery is found in greater luxuri
aace i n t be Chesapeake than in any
other body of water in the world, and
this explains why duck and terrapin
frequent its waters more numerously |
than any where else.
Terrapin farming is an undeveloped
industry in Maryland, but where it is
judiciously followed it. yields fair re
turns. The first farm was started in
Somerset county by United States Sen
ator for his Dinnis, who began the enterprise The |
personal accommodation.
• biggest farm is in Calvert county, on |
the Patuxent River, and it consists of
j a la, ^ e salt water lake * man ' acres ln
j extent,, and spacious enough to accom
! modate thousands of terrapin, ln this
the proprietor placed a number of ter
rapin and they multiplied rapidly. The !
! hatcheries consist of boards partly
, initd with sand, and are so arranged
when the females enter they ean
not get out until taken out. The
young terrapin are kept in the nursery
f or ten months or a year, because the
, lilii “as enameu tne propnetoi oi tne i..rm
to train the terrapin s0 that they re
, spend when he calls them at feeding
time> Another farm, in which some
| New York gentlemen are interested,
has been started in Talbot county. It
| ias a sand beach for laying and hatch
in buiitiWd „ and is aiirrmm ,led bv a well
fence to keep out musk
rats -^ Npm lo>k York HerahL Hemhl
A Whale and Thrasher Fight.
! The following are extracts from a
I privat e letter from a Connecticut gen
tleman to a friend in this city:
' *A[y se a voyage from here to Yic
toria, British Columbia, was more
J than usually pleasant, as the George
i \v. Elder (sometimes known as the
q> 0 niDg Moses,’ from the fact that she
w jjj ro u a t a ]( times and under any
circumstances) kept an even keel all
I Q f the three days.
1
“The only feature of interest was
'
t ] ie ver y uncoin mon number of whales,
w hich for two days surrounded the
s | 1 jp > It seemed that there was a con- 1
yention of whales met for some fishy
purpose, and they were not only dis
p0S ed to display their dimensions, but :
to a h 0 w us some other characteristics
tbey bave ; n common with all created
things. We also saw one of those
fights which the whale has with the
thrasher, a fish with long, sharp jaws
and keen teeth, who fastens himself
int0 the mou th of the whale and then
j beat3 him with his long-drawn-out
j body> resembling a tail, until the poor
monster is worn out with his efforts
| to shake him off, and gives up the
fig ht . Then the thrasher ieisnrely
eats out his tongue and departs for
pasturos new.
"The blows given by this thrasher
could be heard for two miles, and the
whale made the sea boil in his vain
efforts to shake off the murderer, He
would dive, but it was of no use, for
the thrasher could stay under water
any length of time, while the whale
must come to the surface to breathe,
The last we could seo through the
glass the thrasher was pounding and
the whale rolling, pounding the water
with his flukes, and sometimes throw
ing his huge body almost entirely out
of the water.— Hartford Times.
The Oldest Living Thing
What is said to be tho oddest Jiving
thing upon the globe is the cypress of
Santa .Maria del Tule, in the Mexican
State of Oaxaea. This venerable mon
arch of the forest, still instinct with
apparently strong life, probably spans
the whole period of written history,
Jt lg still growin g. Humboldt speaks
of it in 18 -j as measur i ng 34 feet in
d j ame te r , 146 feet in circumference
and 282 feet between the two ex
tremes
---— -*
The Reason Why.
Jones (just returned from a three
y ears’ tour abroad)—I just met Robin
How pale and thin he looks.
when I went abroad he was the pic
turo of health. Was ho crossed in
love? Did the girl to whom he was
j en g a ged jilt him?
rown _No. She married him.
New „ York , i>
an.
VOL. XII, NO, f .
PEARU^pF THOUGHT.
Want of prudence is too frequently
want of virtue.
Three things to avoid—idleness, lo¬
and flippant jesting.
A man’s own good breeding is the
security against other people’s ill
The seeds of love can never grow
but under the warm and genial in¬
fluence of kind feelings and affection¬
manners.
Keep your conduct abreast of vour
conscience, and very soon your con¬
science will be illumined by the radi¬
ance of God.
It is always good to know, if only
in passing, a charming human being;
it refreshes one like flowers and woods
and clear brooks.
Old age is the night of life, as night
is the old age of day. Still night is
full of magnificence, and for many it
is more brilliant than day.
stories heard at mother’s knee are
never wbo R y forgotten. They form a
little spring that never quite dries up
j n our journey through scorching
years .
The man who is jealous and en virus
0 f hia neighbor's success has foes in
hfa heart who can bring luore bitter
ness into his life than can any outside
enemy. |
Even in the fiercest uproar of our j
stormy passions, conscience, though in
her softest whispers, gives to the su- j
premacy of rectitude the voice of an
undying testimony.
What Tin Foil Is.
It may not be generally known that
tin foil, as now so widely known to
silsll t
sumption and medicine is not regulat
« d with iu, v law suchas exlst ln huro '
-
P« an countries, forbidding the use of
lead or composition, or otherwise im
P«« tin foil, in all cases where it may,
through oxidation or contact with
the goods, become poisonous and in¬
!«<*>«» to healtu <» f the consumer,
Too little attention has been paid to
this subject thus far. It is hoped that
that ignorance and not willful over
sight of the facts has led many manu
facturers and dealers to use an article
accompanied with such risks for the
sake sav ing a trifle in the cost,
R es ‘ de3 this saving is, in most instan
ces, imaginary, as the German pure tin
foil combines such a fineness and large
y* e ' d > "’Rh relatively great softness
and strength, that it will practically
answer most purposes, and not cost
more than an equal surface of the
lightest composition foil, while the
h eav ' er grade3 of the latter will be
much more expensive to use. The
yield of the regular German tin foil
is seventy-two square feet, or 10,368
square inches per pound; a heavier
g rade y ields sixty-six square feet,
The sheets are of large size, and waste
i n cutting is consequently small.—
Cultivator.
Where Hears Abound
The early snowfall on the summit of
the Pine Creek mountains has started
the bears down to the lower levels,
The miners will have their bear steaks
and bearskin caps or overcoats, or the
bears will have lodgings furnished for
the winter in the tunnels and prospect
holes. Bears have increased greatly
in number in this state since the great
wind storm of January, 1880, which
threw down so much timber and ren
dered the woods almost impassable in
some parts of the state, and prevent
, ing the hunting of bears with dogs,
In some parts of Southern Oregon
“0 ,e woods are full of em. A gen
tleman who has lately been out to Coos
county says there are more bears than
hog; in that county, lie saw a ‘neck
of woods” out there called Packard s
Home Market. It uppers that a set
tier named Packard had a lot of hog3
running in the woods which get fat on
mast. He was asked what be was go
ing to do with them, and said he had
a “ home market " for thein - meanin ff a
f? aa 8 ot Chinamen working close by.
Just at this juncture the bears found
tiie * at hogs and killed and ate them
all, and since that time the place,
which is littered with ham bones and
short ribs, has been called Packards
Home Market.— Portland Oregonian,
-
An Uncomfortable Position.
A young countryman gave a graphic
description of a narrow escape that he
had recently from an enraged bull:
“I seized him by the tail,” he ex
plained, "an’ there I was. I was
afraid to hold on, an’ 1 dassn’t let go.”
“Between the horns of a dilemma.
as jt were,” ventured a young lady,
very mUc h interested.
“No, ma’am.” replied the country
man. “I wasn't between the horns at
all ’ an’ besides, he wasn’t a dilemma;
be was a Jersey , .’’-Puck. „ „ ,
______*
A River Dream. *
The blue, blue sky abovo.
The blue, blue water under,
Two eyes more blue, and a heart tbit’* true,
And a boat to bear me with my lovo
To lands of light end wonder.
The sunny fields around, rqtp
The river rippling by us,
A smile more bright than noonday light,
Our brows with meadow garlands crowned;
And never a care to try us,
A drifting with the tide,
A wind that whispers greeting,
An isle of rest in the faded west,
W’itii only the waves on the shore boride
And two hearts fondly beating.
— Harold. E. Boulton in Cat tell
HUMOROUS.
Always ready to take a hand ln con-’
versation—Deaf and dumb people. 1W
A small leak may sink a great ■'hip, m
and a raw onion break up a court_ Snip.
Why is a weathercock like a fer?
Because it is constantly goin^round
doing nothing.
“Well, you can tell us tffjhe Is
young?” “I should think he v as. Ho¬
hasn’t got any hair yet!”
a sportsman, returning from the
marshes, when asked if he iad shot
anything, said: “No, but I gave the
the bMp a good serenading.”
“Looking at your drawings imbues
me with an artistic fever," remarked!
Smithe to Miss Lulu. “It ought to;
it’s sketching,” quietly replied Lulu,
Why is it that the man who whangs
an old copper cent into the contri
bution box generally leans back with
a twenty-dollar look of benevolence?
Teacher: “What is an engineer ?"
Boy No. 1: “A man who works an
engine.” Teacher: “What is a
pioneer ?” Boy No. 2: ■That man.
man that works that piano.”
A man who had attended the per¬
formance of “Hamlet” was asked how
he liked it. "It’s a good play,” he re¬
plied, “well written, and > jl that sort
of thing, but it’s full of < id jokes.”
She: "I don’t 'ike my bonnet now
I’ve it. It doesn’t match l ’'
that got
hair at all.” He: “Yi *ught ♦ - n
•
thought of :hat before------«gnt it.”
She: “My bonnet ?” , “No, your
~
hair.”
A man wrote to a scientist that he
had an apple which he had preserved
for fifty-three years, and on being re¬
quested to forward i« for inspection,
he replied that he could not, as it was
the apple of his eye.
Orchids.
The orchid family of plants is pecuU
iarly interesting on account of the
strange forms assumed by its flowers.
Alany of them imitate in perfection
the butterflies and bees and the curi¬
ous winged insects that inhabit the
tropics. The plants themselves in
tropical climates are frequently dry
stems, parasitic upon the trunks of
trees; but in the flowering season they
burst out into the most superb and
gorgeous blossoms, that set a whole
forest aflame with their colors. For
these reasons they are most highly
prized by Ihe florists, and a fine group
of orchids is considered one of the
choicest treasures of great botanical
collections. In our own country we
have about seventy-five species, some
of which are very showy and hand¬
some. But the orchid fancier goes
f ar ther afield for his beauties. He
must have them from the wilds of
Australia or Van Dieman’s land, or
f rom the jungles of India, from the
banks of the Amazon or from the is
i ands 0 f tropic -seas. Linnseus knew
only 100 species of orchids; Persoon,
in 1806, knew 477; Sprengel, in 1830,
bad enumerated about 800; and in
m ore recent times the number has
risen to nearly 3,000. The genera,
al30, are very many in number, but
those which are most popular with
cultivators are comparatively few,
although they contain a great number
of species.— Utica Herald.
The Crow and the Ram.
An old Crow was watching a flock
j of sheep grazing in a valley, when a
1 large Eagle suddenly flew among them
and carried off a young Lamb.
“It seems to mo that I ought to be
able to do that,” remarked the Crowj
l “I’ll try it at any rate.”
With iheso words the Crow flew
down, iit on the back of a large Ram,
and after violent exertions succeeded
in flying away with him to the top of
a neighboring mountain four miles
1 high. After being deposited, tho l.am
remarked in a tone of playful nomha
! lance:
“Well, having gotten me up here.
what do you propose to do with a*,
>’ oU niack P irate - It’ you don't ge„
duwn this mountain m a hurry, i 11
butt you into niiuce-Meat. ihe poor
Crow, accepting the situation, fiut
tered sorrowfully down the mountain
; side - and su PI ,ed iu the vallev on il be *
i lated fishing-worm
Moral: Don’t undertake an army
’ contract before carefully climating
thaiTiiioHe the probable net n.t nmnii-f/ft proOfe-D/e.