Newspaper Page Text
The Covington Star.
J, W. ANDERSON, Editor and Proprietor.
Is Life Worth Living I
Is lifo worth living? Ask the lad,
Barefooted, homeless, starved, ill-clad,
And hear the answer you will get,
“My dorg an’ mo has fun—you bet.”
Is life wOitli living? Ask the wrotoh
Upon the gallows doomed to stretch
The hangm n's rope, and heed his cry,
“It is ! it is ! Don’t let me die !”
Is lilo worth living? Ask the tramp,
Whose home’s the gutter cold and damp
And hear !)im tell you with a jerk,
“It is, ol l pant, for 1 don’t work.”
Is life worth living? Ask the dude,
Wh«»m old D ime Nature somehow spewed,
And see him suck his cane and say,
“Aw— weally—life is—aw —quite gay.”
Is life worth 1 ving? Ask the fool,
The giggling maidens fresh from school,
The toiler, invalid, the slave;
O ! life, sweet life they ever crave.
Is life worth living? Ask the wise
Philosopher who vainly tries
To solve the mystery about
The matter—and—remains in doubt.
Is life worth living ? Ask the great,
The m llionaire, the kings in state,
And no e their looks of utter wo
As in despair they shriek: “No ! no !”
— H. C. Dodge , in Detroit Fi ee Press .
CHARLEY'S TOOTHACHE,
A young newly-married Denver
man went to his home on Welton
sireet, the other night, taking with
him a severe case of toothache. As
soon as he got into the house he threw
himself into an easy chair and began
to groan. At about the same time bis
lace od the side where the aching
tooth had many years before attained
a homestead began to swell, in about
thirty minutes his left cheek bore a
strong resmbiance to an old-fashioned
apple dumpling prepared by the bands
of a generous mother for a largo fami¬
ly. The more the jaw enlarged tbs
louder the young man howled and
rolled about in his chair. His wife
was several years younger than he,
and her sole exper ence with the tooth¬
ache had hitherto been limited to one
or two mild attacks caused by an ex¬
cessive consumption of caramels. She
had usually cured her pain with creo¬
sote, and so soon as Charley had found
time between his groan3 to tell her
what was the matter with him she got
the creosote bottle and told him to
open his mouth and let her see the
tooth which Avas troubling him. He
complied, but as she could not tell by the
looks which one of the teeth was making
the trouble, and as Charley could not
enlighten her, she thought that she’d
better pour a little of the stuff into the
neighborhood of where she thought it
probable that the tooth Avas located.
Just as she got this idea into her
head she happened to think that there
was another toothache panacea in the
house, it Avas in a small phial Avhich
a peddler had left there for trial.
She thought that it would be a good
plan to mix a little of this stuff with
creosote, and put the mixture on the
infected jaw. So she made a nice lit¬
tle combination in a tablespoon, and
telling Charley to open his mouth she
poured it in. She was a little excited
and nervous, and her hand shook and
so the fluid penetrated to every nook
and corner of the young man’s food
receptacle. There was a yell of agony
which awoke every dog in the neigh¬
borhood, and Charley performed a
hornpipe in the middle of the floor,
and accompanied it with a series of
Avords, the majority of which his wife
had never heard before.
It was an hour before Charley got
quieted sufficiently to sit down, and
about that time a lady neighbor ven¬
tured in to ask if they had sickness in
the family. She was told of the afflic¬
tion which had overtaken Charley, and
she was all sympathy at once. She
had suffered just so herself, and the
only way to cure the trouble was by
making cold applications upon the
outside of the cheek
So she went home, and Charley’s wife
made a neat little bag and filled it with
chopped ice, and then tied it on his
face with a ioug red stocking.
This had the effect of changing the
nature of the pain and make Charley
feel as though he was having needles
thrust into his brain.
He could feel the hair stand right
up on the top of his head, and his eyes
protruded from their sockets to such
an extent that his wife thought Char¬
ley was going crazy.
Pretty soon the ice began to melt
and to drip down upon Charley’s shirt
bosom, and to meander around his col¬
lar and course slowly down his spine,
and Charley in his delirium felt as
though he had been fishing and fallen
overboard. Then he began to pace up
and doAvn the room and kick the foot
stool, and stare out of the windows,
and look unkindly at the cat; and just
at this juncture a friend cf Charley
and Mrs. Charley arrived. His name
was Arthur, and he had been a drug
clerk before be became a dude, and in
C“n-i quence his most intimate friends
all call him “Doctor.”
He was much interested when he
found how his friend was suffering.
and he smiled a superior smile when
Charley’s wife explained what she had
done for him. What was needed, he
said, was a counter-irritant, The
teeth and the interior of the mouth
were inflamed, and ther6 was un¬
doubtedly fever there. A hot plaster
of some kind on the outside would be
just the thing. He said that if Char¬
ley s wife would get him the materials
he would prepare something which
would ease the pain almost
!y
So they all went to the kitchen and
Arthur turned back his cuffs and be
gan to work. First he ripped open
the bag which had contained the ice
and laid it out flat. Then he put on a
coating .. of , mustard , , and moistened . \ it
with ... ? hot . water. . Then , he put .
on a
, layer of . red , pepper and , „ then sprinkled ...
the whole with water so that it made
a nice thick paste. He tied that upon
Charley’s face and then put a bandage
soaked with hot water over that, and
then tied the red stocking on once
more. Then he went home and Char¬
ley went to bed.
During a period of about twenty
minutes after Arthur had bowed him
self out Charley howled, swore, danced
and he stood upon his head. His wife
at first asked him “if it ached worse.’’
Then she didn’t dare get within speak
ing distance of him, until in a mo
raen *' wdd * renz y be f° r e the plas¬
ter from his face and dashed it at a
picture of “Two Cherubs, which was
banging upon the wall.
Then Charley fainted, and she had a
chance to look at his face. . There was
the swelling, the mustard, the x>epper
and a two days’ beard all mixed to¬
gether. The removal of the plaster
had also caused the secession of a con¬
siderable section of cuticle, and, take
it altogether, It did not look like the
same face which Charley’s wife used
to think “too sweet for anything.”
She thought that his face must be
sore, and she remembered that once
when she was a little girl she burned
her finger one day and her mother
put cold molasses on the injured mem¬
ber and that took the pain away. So
she took the syrup pitcher and poured
its contents on Charley’s face. Two
ladies who lived doAvn the block called
just then to see who had been injured
in the house, as they had thought they
bad heard some one groan there. One
of these, when she found out the cause
of the trouble, said that sweet oil and
lime water Avas good for burns. She
had some all prepared at home, and
she kindly offered to go and get it.
While she was gone the old lady
thought that flour Avas good for burns,
so they threw a handful of breadstuff
upon the molasses. Then the other
lady came with the sweet oil and lime
water mixture, and they poured that
on. Just then the family Avasher
Avoman called to see if they wanted to
have their Avashing done tha.following
day. As Charley seemed “to suffer
some pain,” they asked the washer¬
woman, who was old and Irish, and
they thought ought to be Avise, as to
Avhat to do. She said that “blueing”
was the best thing in the world, and
so they added another color to Char¬
face.
Well, the two ladies staid with Char¬
wife that night, and they have
declared that Charley is the
worst-tempered man whom they ever
Charley is better now, but he says
he will not get out of the house
for a month to come unless he wears a
.—Denver Tribune.
He Enjoyed the Trip.
“Havel ever been toYurrip?” ex¬
the middle-aged and bald-head¬
passenger; “should say I had.
Half a dozen times. Like it? Rather.
Yurrip i care for as the
voyages, How I do love those
trips, though!”
“Don’t you get sea-sick?
“Sea-sick? I shou.d say I did.
I just lie in my berth five days
of the eight and hope the ship will
in ten miles of water. There
to be a whole slaughter house
of me. I feel like a sick egg.
But I enjoy it, all the same, you bet.”
“Enjoy a voyage under such circum¬
How do you make that out?
Well, you see, my wife she’s al
ways along with me. She gets sick, j
too— sicker n I do. In fact, s e gets so
awful sick that she can t talk till after
we’ve anchored on the other side, and
if I Avere to try for a Aveek I couldn’t
tell you what blessed days of relief;
they are for me."—Chicago Herald.
Acquainted With Music. I
‘Does he know anything about mu
sic?”
“Well, I should rather think he
ought to. • •
“How so?” ;
“Well, for one thing, he’s the father
of twins not more than six months
old, and, for another, his wife Avas
dead -set on having a sealskin for her
birthday, and didn’t get it — Chicagc
Ledger.
COVINGTON, GEORGIA, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 17 1886
, .
| JJQW CIRCUS PEOPLE
a. Business in Which Thesro
Much Hard Work.
Peculiarities of Show Employees; and
Life on the Road.
Mr. James M. Nixon, than whom
j Hying man knows more about a
1 3ai(1 to the Cook: “There are no
ple> excepting plainsmen-the
mishers over the wild country of
West—who live so hard a life as
cus-employees, both performers and
working-men. Th(ir life is not
hard now, it is true, as it was
years ago, s excepting j? with .... the
concerns. _. They are the ‘wagon-shows ,
that travel through . the .. small , towns,
! But even with the big concerns
I travel by train it is hard enough now.
“Take the case of a wagon-show
that has to travel thirty miles after a
night’s performance to get to the next
town, where a street-procession Is to
be made in the forenoon. The work
men, canvasmen, and the like have to
take breakfast at eleven o’clock at
night Then they get no meal till af
l ter the procession—say at noon.
! Wherever they are, the work must be
| attended to first, and eating is a second
i | consideration. With the performers—
gymnasts, riders, clowns, and the like
—it is not quite so bad. They get
better pay and better food. As a rule
they live on the best food there is to
be had where they happen to be, and
they take a great deal of it. Most of
them are great beef-eaters, and are
not very particular whether the meat
is cold or hot, so long as it
is good and plenty, They are
very particular however, about clean¬
liness. I have seen twenty or thirty
> ° f them get U P and leave the table be ‘
I cau3e the table -° loth was dirty. And
when they want a meal they want lt
and wlU have lL 1 have oftea 9een
! them leave a hotel where they would
have to wait fifteen minutes for a din¬
ner that was paid for, and go to a res¬
taurant where they would have to buy
another. They won’t eat unless they
are hungry; but they are always hun¬
gry after a night performance, and
will not go to bed without a hearty
supper. They say they can’t sleep if
they are empty.
“One thing that is peculiar about
them is that they do not take medi¬
cine, and they are remakably healthy.
When they are out of sorts they diet
themselves, each one according to his
own ideas, but I don’t think I ever
saw $50 worth of medicine around a
circus in all the years I have been in
the business. Yes, they drink. Not
to excess, but nearly all of them drink
when they feel like it. They never
drink, however, before performing.
They are very careful of themselves.
They have to be or they would not
last long.
“As a matter of course, with their
irregular habits, they are in a certain
sense extravagant. Their extrava¬
gance, however is mainly In the mat¬
ter of eating. Experience teaches
them very soon, if their own sense
does not at first, that they must take
the very best possible care of them¬
selves physically, and that good eating
is a primary consideration.
“There is a moveable kitchen now
with every show that travels. An
enormous stove is set up on a wagon,
and all the appurtenances are kept
handy. Food is contracted for in
each town ten or fifteen days ahead
and as soon as the show arrives the
kitchen-tent is set up and meals are
cooked up for the work-people. The
performers are a little too aristocratic
to eat there, and insist on going to the
hotels; but in some parts of the coun¬
try, as every travelling man will ap¬
preciate, they do not fare so well.”
There has been in late years a vast
improvement in all departments of
the travelling circus and in nothing
has this been more observable, to those
in the business, than in the provisions
made for the health and comfort of
the employees. A good chief cook
with a circus will get. as good a salary
as a first-class performer, and has to
earn it. There is no place for laggards
or make-shifts where sawdust per¬
fumes the breeze.
Chiromancy,
Among new methods for simplify
| n g the unwieldy processes of the
law none is more noteworthy and sug¬
gestive than the science of chiromancy,
wb j cb appears to be becoming fashion
able in English police courts. It was
applied with striking success in two
cases. In one of these the prisoner,
who was charged with begging,
pleaded that be had done hard work,
but was now unable to get any; the
jailer then examined his hands, de
dared they showed signs of hard work
and the man was let off with a nom¬ j
inal punishm -nt In the other case ,
tbe accused said he was a carpenter,!
but was out of work. IDs hands were
examined, found soft, and he was sent j
up.—Chicago Tribune.
, Beds and Bedrooms.
Beds in some parts of the world—in
Persia and in the far East—have very
generally served as couches, and even
as thrones of state during the daytime.
Those of the ancient Persians were oi
gold. The bed on which the Sultan of
Turkey used to receive ambassadors iu
the porch or “sublimeporte” (gate) ot
his palace is still shown, and is overlaid
with plates of pure gold set with jew¬
els, and covered by a tester of golden
post. Western nations have not made
a display of their riches in such a
shape as this. The beds of our ances¬
tors were bags filled with straw oi
leaves (litter, from the Latin legere, tc
collect; lectum, abed), like the
ern palliasse, but not upholstered
or squared with modern neat¬
ness. The bag could be opened
and the litter remadedaily, as the trav¬
elled reader willhave experienced with
the mattress of old-fashioned inns in
Italy. There were few bedrooms
ttie houses of ancient England. The
master and mistress of the Anglo-Sax¬
on house had a chamber or shed built
against the wall that enclosed the
mansion and its dependencies; their
daughter had the same. Young men
and their guests slept in the great
hall, which was the only noticeable
room in the house, on tables or bench¬
es. Wollen coverlids were provided
for warmth; poles on which they
could hang their clothes, or hooks pro¬
jecting from the wall; perches were
provided for their hawks. Attendants
and servants slept upon the floor.
Bedding of this rough kind could be
stowed away during the day, and as
many guests dould be accommodated as
there was room in the hall. All the
rooms of the house such as the hall
the chapel, the sleeping-rooms against
the walls, the offices, were on the
ground floor. After a time a room
was built above the hall, called the
solar,a chamber which admitted the sun
freely, and had occasionally a gallery
or terrace on which to take the air. It
was approached by outside steps, and
the terrace was probably a long land¬
ing-place or open-air passage.— Mago
zine of Art.
Yineyards and “Chicha” of Chili.
A Kansas Oity Journal correspond
ent, writing from Chili, says: We
enter near Las Vegas an immense
hacienda, containing 16,000 acres of
land, one-half of which is under culti¬
vation and much of it planted in
vines. The grape is cultivated here
after the French and Spanish style—
a low stout stump kept back by prun¬
ing and the young shoots and grapes
confined to the body of the vine. The
yield is very heavy. This vineyard
belongs to an Englishman Avith a Chil¬
ian wife, with whom he received the
estate, and it turns out annually many
thousand gallons of white and red
wine—the common drink of the coun¬
try—though a cruder and more fiery
product called chiena is made from
the refuse and poor grapes and mixed
with sour spirits of wine. A glass of
this containing as much as four ordi¬
nary tumblers, is sold for 5 cents
Chilian money about 3 of ours, and on
this the poorer classes become dread¬
fully and frequently intoxicated.
1 have seen more drunkenness in
Chili than in all my travels through
Central and South America thus far.
A single glass of this chicha will pro¬
duce intoxication. In taste it resem
bles the Mexican pulque or the yeast
beer made in our young days by our
mothers.
On this great estate is every modern
appliance for farming—it is divided
by mud walls covered with tile, trees
grow along the drives and walks, fine
herds of cattle graze in the ample
fields of alfalfa and barley stubble.
Sheep of English importation improve
the native stock.
George Washington's Fiddle.
At a concert .given at Charlestown,
W. Va., a violin was used which at
one time belonged to General George
■Washington. This venerable relic is
noAV the property of Mr. Thomos B.
Washington, who received it from
Judge Bushrod Washington at Mount
Vernon. A card on the inside of the
instrument shows that it was manu¬
factured by Jacob Steiner, a cele¬
brated German workman, in the year
1675. It is therefore over two hun¬
dred years old. The violin, in its
original case, a quaint old box, was
presented to the audience by Hon. W.
L. Wilson in a felicitous address.—
Hagerstmon, M<L, Globe.
Anticipation versus Realization.
Expectan; Ileir (before the will ig
read)—Unde’s death was a sad and
untimely coe. To think that but a
short time fgo that-rn.bie old man trod
the earth injurfect health; to-day his [
voice is foroser hushed in the song of
eternity! met
Expectant Heir (after the will is
read)- .. 1 hat w.ll can be , . broken , on the
ground of imanity. The old fossil was
crazy for twenty years.
SCIENTIFIC SCRAPS.
Sir John Lubbock, in some observa¬
tions on the intelligence of the dog,
suggest that dogs might be made to
understand by means of a system like
that used for deaf mutes. He had a dog
which would pick out a card contain
ing a request for food or drink.
In the Royal Arsenal at Soudan is
an old Chinese eighteen-pounder
bronze gun, lined with an iron tube,
the native workmen having anticipa¬
ted by many years the contrivance
which the artillerists of Europe have
almost universally introduced in some
shape or other during the present gen¬
eration.
During eighteen aseents of lofty
mountains—from 5,000 to 15,000 feet in
height—Mons Vernet has made
number of physiological observations
on himself. He finds that the
exertion—both in mounting and
decending—caused an average rise in
bodily temperature of about three
degrees; a rise in the pulse from about
75 to 83 in a minute; and an increase
in respiration from about 21 to 25 in
a minute.
At a recent meeting of the Linnean
Society of New South Wales was ex¬
hibited a curious beetle—which is
found under the fur of the common
rat in Tasmania. The belief was ex¬
pressed that new and interesting
species with similar habits might be
discovered in Australia if the smaller
mammals were examined when freshly
killed. Two allied species from Peru
are known, one being found in the fur
and nests of mice.
A Belgian botanist has published a
treatise 250 pages long, on the sting¬
ing nettle. According to the author,
a long life would be needed to acquire
all the knowledge to be gained from
this humble plant. “Even then, it
may be presumed, the next generation,
with improved methods of
and research, would And as
work to do.” The chief interest
the stinging beetle to
students is in its microscopic
In some recent scientific
ments on the effects of cold two
were frozen solid in a temperature
about 20 degrees, and kept in
condition for half an hour. On thaw¬
ing slowly they recovered perfectly,
but it was found that longer periods of
exposure Invariably killed the animals
The experiment was tried of freezing
hermetically sealed meat, so as to kill
its bacterial organisms, and thus
render it incapable of putrefying. It
was found, however, that so low a
temperature as 80 degrees below zero
would not destroy the vitality of
micro-organisms. It was thus made
clear that the attempts to preserve
meat for a long time by a momentary
freezing of it must be abandoned.
The Perpetual Candidate,
Judge David Key, of Tennessee*
told a good story of a man in the
mountain region of his State, who was
a stereotype candidate for local offices
of all descriptions, but who would
never give a decided opinion upon any
question. On one occasion Avhen he
was a candidate for the position of
sheriff there was great excitement on
the enforcement of the school tax. He
addressed quite a gathering at a mus
ter, but evaded the only question that
the audience wanted to hear about,
and just as he was closing a fellow
shouted:
“Tell us about the school tax. l Xx*
you for it, or are you not?”
The crowd cheered, and the orater,
thus pressed for a declaration of opln
ion said:
“Gentlemen, you have a right to
ask for an answer. I have no conceal
ment to make. I am a frank man, and
to you I say ln all frankness, if it is a
good thing lam for it, and if it is*
bad thing I am agin it”— Ben Per ley
Poore.
An “Illefant.”
An old Scotchman, when taking his
bairns to be baptized, usually spoke of
them as laddies or lassies, as the case
might be. At last his wife said he
must not say it was a laddie or lassie,
but an infant. So the next time that
Sandy had occasion to go to the clergy
man the latter said:
‘Weei, Sandy, is it a laddie?”
it’s nae a laddie,” was the answer,
“Then it’s a lassie.”
“It’s nae a lassie,” said Sandy.
“Weei, mon, what is it, then?” said
the astonished preachor.
“I dinna remember vera weei,” said
the parent, “but I think the wife said
it was an illefant.
Wrote Poetry.
Fhrenologist: “Your bump of im- j
agination is abnormally large, sir.
You should write poetry.”
Citizen; “I do write poetry. Only
yesterday I took a poem to an editor,
and that bump you are feeling is
where he hit me. Don’t bear down
hard.’
VOL. XII. NO 17.
A BIG CITY ON THE WATER
How Canal Boatmen Spend
the Winter Months.
A Community Comprising Hundreds of
Canal Boats at New York.
AH the canal boats which ply upon
the Hudson and the intermediate wa¬
ters during the spring and summer,
tie up for the winter in the Erie Basin,
at New York. Not less than 1,200
canal boats compose this community,
and on these wooden hulls 4,000 per¬
sons live throughout the season. All
the necessaries of life they have
among themselves. The massive hulks
are transformed into business marts.
Grocers’ ships and liquor saloons, and
even barbers’ shops rise up where coal
and lumber find a home during the
season of transportation. The people
live wholly among themselves. They
are transformed for the time being
into a business community. The cab¬
in of one boat is brought into use as a
billiard and pool room, while in anoth¬
er a tailor’s shop prevails. Then in
the hold of another there is a minia¬
ture coal and wood yard, while sever¬
al of the boats bear signs that wash¬
ing and ironing are done. A preten¬
tious cigar and tobacco shop is a feat¬
ure of this city also, and brings in a
handsome revenue to its owner. By
the means enumerated, the inhabitants
of this community are enabled to reap
a considerable income. Many of the
able-bodied men work along the shore
when the weather permits. Not a
single case of outlawry, assault or lar¬
ceny has ever occurred. Whatever
little disputes happen are settled
among themselves. It might readily
be thought that drunkenness would
prevail, but this is not the ease.
men, as a class, are sober and indua -
trlous. Their wives and families
with them through all seasons of
year, and know naught of the
or wickedness of the city life. In
spring, summer and autumn months
the men earn a comfortable
pursuing their occupation as
The business is, all things
lucrative. They have no rent to
It costs little for clothing for
selves and families, and they are
cordingly enabled to save much
ey. Some of the boatmen ply a
tive business by letting out small
during the winter months to fishing
parties.
A reporter for the Mail and Express
visited this novel colony a few days
ago and was surprised to see the ap¬
parent system and detail which pre¬
vailed. On lines running from end to
end of the boats newly-washed cloth¬
ing was hanging to dry. Little chil¬
dren were engaged playing juvenile
games on the decks. On one large boat
the cabin and deck had been turned
into a saloon, in which was a billiard
table, several card tables and a bar.
The men P la V cards for amusement
-
only,quarreling being strictly prohibit
ed - In conversation with the repor
ter one of the men said:
We cannot ply our trade during
the winter months, You see, the
Hudson gets frozen up and our occu
pation is gone. We all congregate
here - and at times there are as many
as 2,000 boats here at one time. We
are al * acquainted with each other and
live comfortably. About the 1st of
March we generally commence break¬
ing up, and by the end of the week the
little colony is all gone.”
“Are you ever disturbed by river
! marauders?
“Yes, but we manage to keep them
, off by means of our dogs. We have
never as yet had a case of robbery, • I
Josh Lost.
Hanscom, of this city, says
that he happened to in Skowhegan in
1869 - when the late Josh Billings
lectured there. The morning after the
lecture was rainy, and mud was ankle
deep in the streets
Josh glanced dubiously out of doors
and then asked Hanscom, “Have you
any rubbers ?”
No,” said Hanscom.
“I’ll tell you what I’ll do,” said Josh,
“I’ll flip a cent to see whether you or
I shall take the other on his shoulders
and wade across the street from the
hotel to that shoe store and buy a pair
for both.’
Hanscom agreed. The cent was
tossed and he won. Josh took him
4< pig back” through the mud to the
shoe store, and bought rubbers for
both.— Lewiston. {Me.) Journal.
- -- -
A Mare’s Exploits.
Jim Miller, of Waycross, had a fine
mare named Nellie. He reports
of her exploits thus: “I went out
feed Nellie, and when I got to the
barn door the key was missing, and
thinking it was at the house I called
some of tbe children to bring it To
my surprise my nag came trotting up j
with it in her mouth.— Macon ( Qa)
Telegraph.
is
Precious Memories.
Death cannot take the memories
Of those we lore and cherish;
Their frames, which in the dust we lay,
To dost may crumble and decay,
Yet with ns they themselves do stay;
They do not, cannot perish.
How potent are thy memories !
They make blest bond oi union;
For oft before our gladsome eyea
The sweet familiar lorms arise,
And dearly do we love and prize
Those moments of communion.
Imruortal are tbe memories
Of those whom death has taken;
We see them, hear them, have them sttD,
Command their preaenoe at our will,
Tbe chambers of our hearts they fill,
They have not us forsaken.
—R. M. Off or d.
HUMOROUS.
A valuable bird—A gold eagle.
Auctioneers have a nod way of re¬
ceiving bids.
A misplaced switch — When the
wrong boy is whipped.
We fail to see any difference be¬
tween a travelling dress and a walking
suit.
There is some hope for the dudes at
last. A Sacramento man has invented
a calf-weaner.
A lovesick poet says that a kiss is
“the meeting of two souls,” Very
true, and it is a protracted meeting,
too.
Everything is adulterated nowadays
A Sanfrancisco man bought a cork leg
and afterwards ascertained that it was
made of paper.
"See, mamma!” exclaimed a little
girl, as she looked out of the window
during a snow storm, “see the popped
rain coming down.”
“May I help you to alight?” asked
Jimson, politely, as Miss Le Jones
drove up in her carriage. “Thank
you. I never smoke,” she returned,
coldly.
A woman in Georgia lived 48 days
on water and then died. Water is a
pretty thin diet, for a fact, but we
know some sailors who have lived
nearly all their lives on water.
Dry goods merchant—“You would
like a place in my store, Mr. Shaw
mut? Have you had much clerical
experience?” Mr. Shawmut—“Well,
no. The fact is I am not a church
member. >»
Surgery in a Menagerie.
The Philadelphia Zoo’s manicure op¬
erated on the leopard Fannie r9cently i
and reduced her toe-nails to a fashiona¬
ble length. The nails had grown so
long that they were burying them¬
selves in the balls of the feet, produc¬
ing a serious lameness, accompanied
by irritating pain. The animal had
her feet successfully noosed and the
paws hauled between the bars of the
cage, while a billet of wood was thrust
Ln her mouth for her to bite on.
Keeper Shannon extracted the sharp
nails from the inflamed feet, and Head
keeper Byrne promptly clipped them
off close to the quick, after which the
handsome brute was released from ig
nominous confinement
The valuable chimpanzee has devel¬
oped an unexpected knoAvledge of den¬
tistry. Despite his warm cage and the
care with which he is guarded from
draughts, he managed to catch a cold
in his jaw, which resulted in a tooth¬
ache. It was his first experience and
he did not like it He picked at the
offending molar until, giving it an ex¬
tra hard pull, it parted with the gum
and came out. This avhs a notch
higher than the chimpanzee had evei
gone before, and, as he gazed at the
glistening tooth in his brown paw, «
look of anxious bewilderment spread
over his countenance, and his undei
jaw dropped in helpless astonishment
Ministers Advised To Wear Beards.
Dr. Wm. MacDonald, says in the
London Lancet: That ancient and
pious father of the church, Tertullian
designated shaving as a blasphemy
against the church. It may surprise
not a few when I say that there caD
no longer be a doubt that the bron¬
chitic affections under which ministers
of the gospel so frequently labor are
often due to the violation of hygienic
law. The fact that the Creator plant¬
ed a beard on the face of the human
male, thus making it a law of his
physical being, indicates in a language
not to be misunderstood that the dis¬
tinctive appendage was bestowed foi
the purpose of being worn.
Besides, the Levitical law is just as
explicit in forbidding the shaving ol
the head, except in cases of disease, as
in the requirement—“Remember the
Sabbath day to keep it holy. 1 More
over, physically considered, these views
are corroborated by experience: for
disease of the throat have in numerous
instances been traced directly to the
shaving of the beard, the liability dis
appearing with its growth, and vice
versa. Let all our ministers, then,
disregarding fashion, Avear beards; for
the Bible and nature are in favor of it