Newspaper Page Text
The Covington Star.
J. W. ANDERSON, Editor and Proprietor.
As a Mother.
KA sudden, piercing wail of pain,
I A rush of pattering feet,
■n blind, impetuous haste to gain
I The mother’s solace sweet—
|A comforter, who stills the cry
I With kiss and soothing song,
■“Von'll feel all better bye and bye,
I Hush, dear, ’twill not ache long."
■And soon the magic word and kiss
I Distil their healing balm;
■The sobbing, frightened outcries cease—
I The spell has wrought its charm,
phe restless darling slips away,
I His trouble quickly flown;
[But J while mother his voice sits alone. rings out in play,
The
[ITer busy needle falls unsought,
As come, in shadowy train,
[Dim messengers, with haunting thought
Of grief, and loss, and pain;
[Of anxious hopes too long deferred,
Of gold, proved only dross,
Mysterious depths of anguish stirred—
[ Life’s unseen, crushing cross.
[The mother bows in grief alone,
With heart no longer strong,
[While throbs life’s mournful undertone:
“Howlong, O Lord, how long?”
(When lo! the heavens new radiance shed
! As falls this blest decree:
:“Behold, as thou hast comforted,
I The Lord will comfort thee.”
Georgia A. Peck , in Good Housekeeping.
SENORITA LOPEZ.
THE HANDSOMEST FEDERAL SPY.
■Vhen the Senorita Maria Lopez made
I appearance in Atlanta during the
»<> she created a decided sensation
Ing I the gallant officers who were fight
all day and dancing all night. The
lerita was pretty. Her flashing eyes
■ned to look right through a man, and
I manner of fluttering a fan was too
Iquent for anything. Just where the
lorita Lopez came from no one knew.
It said that her father, a New Orleans
lugee, was in Richmond, and that in
lurning from a visit to friends in Char
Ion she had received instructions to
lait his arrival here. Of course this ex
Ination was satisfactory, and if there
p been any doubt the young lady’s
ttering diamonds, bright eyes, and ar¬
id Confederate principles would have
In the day.
RVc were not entirely given over to
tkcloth and ashes during the siege,
pis and receptions took place almost
cry night, and there were various ama
Bv fiito-*
Is of the time the charming Spanish
liorita bore her part. She was the ac
lowledged belle of the siege, and her
Inost reckless daring completely fas
lated the officers, from the general
Iwn. One thing about Maria Lopez
(lighted us. Federal shells had no ter¬
ms for her, and when other ladies
Irieked and ran off unceremoniously
lorn their visitors to plunge into a bomb
loof, this brilliant and fearless creature
lould simply clap her hands and make
Ime scornful remark about the wretched
|m litifications of the Y ankee gunners. After our
around the city had been
parly completed, the senorita rode out
pery day with some of her military ad
fcirers to view the works. This was
ptlier perilous. Stray bullets and shells
Fore always whizzing by, and it was a
[ommon thing to see a general or a colo
lel dodge behind a tree. But it was
k>on noticed that the senorita never even
lucked her proud little head. She would
ft her horse like a statue, and laugh in
lerision when her escorts proved them
klves unable to stand the racket.
“Oh, I would give anything to be a
pldier!” trough Colonel she said one day, after looking
Blank’s field glass.
‘I would glory in the opportunity of
Ihowing men how to fight and die for a
beat cause. -
1‘erhaps this was too intense, too bom
astic, but in those days everything
hat we wrote and spoke was in this fer
id strain. So the senorita’s talk pro
eked no comment, except a tribute of
dmiration.
One day our heroine passed me at a
gallop on her way back from the breast¬
works. Something white fluttered down
rom her riding habit. I picked it up,
hut t be lady was out of sight, riding like
the wind. Thoughtlessly I allowed the
paper to come open, What I saw troub
hd me not a little, I saw traced out in
detail the plan of fully half of our forts
and trenches. The paper also contained
the location of certain Government build¬
ings, and an estimate of our forces.
There was but one thing to do. I
hated to get a pretty woman into trouble,
hut I had to do my duty. Iu an hour’s
time the paper was in the hands of the
provost-marshal, The next day I was
brought ce to Pace with Maria Lopez.
The hearing was in private, and a circle
°f colonels and Majors sat around the ac
‘used, frowning at me as if I had been
guilty of some dTiminal act. When I re
lated the circumstances attending the
filling of the paper, the little Spaniard
“oked at the officers with a merry smile.
I think,” said she, “that you don’t
‘are to hear from me. 1 will say, how
ev er, that I never saw the and
therefore paper,
could not have dropped it.
The young man perhaps found it, but he
rtmld not ha ve seen me drop it.” She
j -oiled “Ahem!” sweetly said on that the individual. provost-marshal.
“There
' CURt b « some mistake here, We do not
doubt your fidelity, sir, but we had bet
* e r hear no more of this.”
I was dumbfounded and abashed,
I Knowing v ery little about the
ways
the world, I hastily retired, thanking my
■tars that I had saved my head, In a
day or two the Senorita Lopez disap¬
peared. Her lovers did not have time to
mourn her loss, because Slocum’s corps
crossed the Chattahoochee, and our forces
had to get out in a hurry. But I was
destined to see the senorita again.
Many of us failed to follow Hood’s
army south. We were whirled about in
such a vortex of confusion that we were
glad to escape with our lives. Among
other flotsam and jetsam I was thrown
beyond the Federal lines. Stranded in
Nashville, at that time a vast military
camp, I felt bad ly enough. I could not
go South, and I could not get a pass to
go North. One night I went to the
theatre. During one of the scenes there
was a buzz, and people stood up to look
at a man in the dress circle just above
my head. Finally I rose, as somebody
said:
it He is the most successful guerilla and
spy on the Union side.”
I stood up until my face was on a level
with the railing of the dress circle.
It was a wonder that I didn’t faint!
Looking calmly, mockingly, into my
eyes was the handsomest man I ever saw.
He was dressed in a glittering uniform,
and wore diamonds'. That clear cut,
dark face, those burning eyes, the slight
scar under the left ear—there could be
no mistake.
I seized my overcoat and rushed out of
the door just in time to hear the alleged
Senorita Lopez say in a voice like a
bugle;
Arrest that man.”
A wave of darkness came over mo.
An officer caught me by the arm. I felt
that I was lost. If the senorita was not
only a man, but an enemy, I had no mer¬
cy to hope for.
There was a sudden tumult, a wild cry
of fire, and then a crowd surged down
the stairway. When I picked myself up
the officer who had arrested me lay ou
the sidewalk with a fractured skull. I
limped quietly away, and took the out¬
going train for Louisville. I had no
passport and trusted to luck.
“Passe?, gentlemen,” shouted a sleepy
lieutenant, as he passed through the car.
I kept my head bowed down, with my
hat over ray eyes.
It See here, show your pass,” said the
OTT1 A PDr gruff behind t and
man me spoke up
said:
i . You don’t want to see it twice. He
showed it to you a minute ago.”
“Beg pardon, ” said the soldier, slight¬
ly confused. He went on, and I was
safe at last.
I have never seen the senorita since,
and I have no desire ever to meet her, or
rather him, again. He would have had
me shot as a spy beyond a doubt if it had
not been for my lucky escape at tbe
theatre .—Atlanta (On.) Constitution.
Tench ing Deaf Mutes to Speak.
Deaf mutes may be taught to speak
and to understand articulate speech by
merely watching the motion of the vocal
organs. This method is by no means
novel, as it has long been practiced in
some of the schools of Europe, and the
earliest attempts to teach the deaf and
dumb to speak appear to have been as
successful as those in modern times. It
is recorded in history that a deaf man
was taught to pronounce words and sen¬
tences by an English Bishop in the year
685, and from that time isolated cases of
the same sort arc mentioned till the latter
part of the eighteenth century, when a
school for teaching of articulate speech
to mutes was started in Germany. The
method of this teaching is very simple.
It consists merely in training the pupil,
by imitating the position and action of the
vocal organs of the teacher, to utter artic¬
ulate sounds. This, it is found, is not a
very difficult task for the pupil, but it is
extremely tedious, requiring long and
unintermitting practice, and the greatest
patience on the part of the teacher. In
Germany this art of lip-teaching has been
much more successful than it has ever
been in England or America, perhaps be
muse the German language is more adapt¬
ed than the English to acquired speech
on this plan, It seems to be generally
admitted, however, by all schools that
have tried this method of instruction,
that though it is often highly successful
in special cases by the help of much in¬
dividual teaching, it cannot be used to
any effect in large institutions where class
instruction is absolutely necessary. An¬
other system, however, has been intro¬
duced of late years into English and
American schools. It is called visible
speech, and was invented by A. Melville
Bell a professor of vocal physiology in
England, about 1848. It consists of a
species of phonetic writing, based not
sounds but upon the action of the
upon producing them, The
vocal organs m alphabet
characters of this universal re
veal to the eye the position of these or
in in the formation of any sound which
gans mouth utter, Iu 1869
the human can
this alphabet was first applied m Eng¬
land to the instruction of deaf mutes,
and in 1872 it was introduced by Profes
Abraham Bell, the sou of o the invent
sor Institution at North
or, into the Clark
Massachusetts, where it is now
ampton. of articulation teaching
th# only system after opened a
used. Professor Bell soon
•*»><»'Si Boston, which, we
tem in
j carried on.— Inter-Ocean.
COVINGTON, GEORGIA, WEDNESDAY, MAY, 26, 1886.
Mad Fishes.
The South American and African mud
fishes live in streams where the water
dries up in the hot season, and were it
not for some such provision, they would
soon become extinct. When the water
gives signs of failing, they descend into
the mud, and encasing themselves in
balls lined with some secretion, patient¬
ly await the coming of the waters again.
For some months they exist in this fash¬
ion, hermetically sealed up, as it were,
and in some cases in Africa they have
been deprived of water for two seasons.
A party of travellers once enoamped
over such a dried-up pond in Africa, that
gave little evidence of ever having held
water. Soon after a terrific rain-storm
came on, filling the place so that they
were obliged to move to a higher loca¬
tion. One of the men returning, how¬
ever, for some reason, in wading to the
side of the camp, found, to his amaze¬
ment, thao the water was alive with
fishes. Opinion was divided as to their
origin; part of the men thought it was a
case of spontaneous generation, while the
majority felt positive that they had rain¬
ed down. The truth was, that the rain
had soaked into the imprisoned mud-fish¬
es, releasing them from their baked cells,
and surrounding them once more with
water.
The air-bladders of these fishes are di
vided into compartments, and have all
the requisites of a true lung, and they are
as truly amphibians as the frogs and
toads.
Other amphibians have different meth¬
ods of withstanding the drought. Thus
the Hassar, when the water begins to
dry up in the pools and streams, does
not encase itself in a mud ball, but leaves
the heated and fast disappearing liquid,
starts overland in search of a better sup*
ply.
On the coast of China, and in various
other localities, is found a fish that is so !
lively on dry land that it is as difficult tc j
capture as a frog or toad, leaping along
the rocks from stone to stone, and where I
it is particularly sl’ppery, avoiding its
human pursuers— Youth's Companion.
Crests for Americans.
Since a well-known heraldic stationer
and engraver of London has established
a branch in this city the demand for
pedigrees and genealogical arborculturs
has become a fashionable craze among
many who . have , more money _ ihan than brains.
Those who , f have no family r worth xs___ men
^. tioning . have . suddenly ,s i acquired . s a strong . ^
®
interest . , in . ,, their . ancestry , and , even ^ those
whose forefathers, centuries a ^- ^re
proudto belong tothe family tbatmmg
mzed the lion of the tribe of Judah
as its national emblem are now seeking
for more modern insignia with which
decorate their silverware. In brief, no
bodies” are trying to be somebodies, and
large sums of money are being spent to
gratffy uncultured vanity and ignorance.
Affied by tins imported adjunct to
family distinction the ambitious New
Yorker may have his coat-of-arms em- |
blazoned” on vellum for as many dollars
as it would cost him shillings in England.
H , he desires , a crest he can get it at the
same proportionate figure but if he
wishes a “genealogical e b tree the expense ’
is increased by the time required . in .
searching out another family pedigree of
the same name. Should a motto be
wanted he can choose his own and have
it done into genuine Latin for a small
amount. In any case the once-honored
family Bible, with its record of births, j
deaths and marriages, is threatened with
extinction. Few York Commercial.
Jatef A never Cantare ”vL of Thieves.
Andrews charged with
stealing meat from his master, Mr. Chap
man a butcher on the Mile End road,
,
London. There is nothing extraordinary
in this, but the method of detection was
something new in the way of thief-catch
lng Mr. Chapman hid himself in a box
. |
and watched the accused, who was his
assistant. He found that he gave away
large quantities of meat to different par¬
ties, who presumably paid him certain
amounts afterwards for doing so. Zl. Mr. !
Chapman arranged an electric light at
the top of his house, the wire of which
was connected with the box. Two con
stables were placed outside and when
ever one of the thieves came in and was
served Chapman switched on his electric ,
light as the thief went out the door,
The constables in this way captured thief
after thief until somebody gave their ac
complice, Andrews, a hint, and when he
tried to escape Chapman blazed on the
full force of the light and he was gath
ered in.
Not ’•’o-niglit, George!
—“Darling, I rise to a question t
privilege,” said George, as he left his
F V approached ■- J vinnHa’s Mirandas chair cnair.
seat and
“Notto-nigh., George," .nO .he .hnrok
back from him.
il Ah Miranda, do not say those cruel
words. Give me but one kiss!”
“Reflect, George—oh, reflect, I would
save you from an awful experience."
“Darling, I can not accept your noble
sacrifice. Why not to-night?
“in yielded, it would drive you frmn
my side forever. - o, eorg ®: ’
the gold in her front teeth glistened, as
| she whispered with intense dramattceL
«*, • late onions to-night at the curfew
hour. ’ ’— Tid-bits. |
SAM SMALL.
A Journalist who has
ee! Fame as a Revivalist.
Pungent Stories of a Man who was
humorist from His Cradle.
Now that Sam Small has acquired
fame as a revivalist it is pleasant to re¬
call some of the stories he used to
when he was a man of the world.
was a humorist from his cradle, and
more keen-witted person is seldom met.
No matter in what position he
placed, his readiness, self-possession and
brilliancy of expression always served
him to advantage. He was remarkably
facile in turning a ludicrous situation to
his own account. He was considered
the best story-teller in Georgia, a state
that abounds in noted yarn-spinners, and
always drew a crowd to he*r his latest.
Sam was standing in the Hoffman House
in New York one day, with the usual
coterie about him, when the conversation
turned on the war. “In 1831,” said Sam,
“General Gordon made a canvass of
Georgia, and in a series of characteristic
speeches made frequent use of the ex¬
pression that ‘we could whip the Yan¬
kees with popguns.’ The war broke out
and he was called into service, not ap
Paring again in public life until 1865.
He then yielded to a strong treaty to
canvass the state again. One night he
went down to Macon and delivered a
thrilling address, but his tenor was modi¬
fied since the war and much of the bit
terness had vanquished. Just as he
closed his remarks an old fellow in the
audience stood up, and addressing the
General, said: ‘Look here, sah! Didn’t
you make a speech in this yeah county
way back yonder in ’61?’ ‘I did, sir,’
replied the General. ‘Well, didn’t you
tell us we could whip them ’ere Yankees
with P°Pg uns? ’ The General straighten
ed U P> buttoned his Prince Albert coat,
and in a most Signified manner said: ‘I
d * d ’ s ' r ’ but wouldn’t fight us that
way '
When I was in Paris,” said Sam one
day, U , Frenchman evidently bent on
ascertaining how much I knew, if any
tbin S> asked me how many languages
1 cou,d s P eak - I told him I had never
~ thc latter very imperfectly.”
» am was 0nc f a P arty °f Southerners
wno were invited to visit a New Jersey
•
stock farm. After inspecting . , lot of
a
fine blooded stock, „ Sam said: ,/a An Al- n
>
abama farmer got it into . a _ his . , head ,
once ^
^ ^ ^ ^ ^ tQ
northern ^ fah . T he peculiarity of
^ gouthern h know, is its cada
verous and j , T he
count overwhich it roams at large doe8
^ nouvishment h t
^ due time the gouth _
emer had hig h insta ted in the gener
^ When ^ fair had pro ess .
ed - e of d the ju( lg es appeared
^ Wue ribbon to the ppn
next to the AIabama hogs whi eh contain
ed & Qf fat corn . fed Berkshires.
, Look ^ (he Alabama felw
accosting the ludges, . ‘you , haven’t ,, exam
f J Veil,
inpd , now,’ said the
. ^ {hc blue ribbons> -y OU
wouldn’t expect to ..
us give you a prize m
^ ^ with such fine hogs as
wou , d you? , -But,’ said the
, T
b ogs for. I entered ’em for
speed by gosh,’ and he would have taken
the prize every time for that, you bet.”
One evening Sam was seated at a table
with ... a party , of f friends r • Ac m the restaurant rot i onro ,G
Of the St. James Hotel, New York,
which is noted for its excessively high
prices. An elaborate repast had been or
dered that required some time to prepare, j
Finally some one remarked that it took a
long time to serve the dinner. “Why, j
yes,” said Sam, “didn’t you know that?
It’s one of the rules of the house. They
give you an hour to raise the money
to pay for it.” ,
One of the best of Sam's war stories is
this: . . When things were hot around
Atlanta Captain Evan Howell received an
order to reconnoiter across the Chatta
hooche River and ascertain if the Federal
troops had retired, The night was black
as ink. He read the order to his men,
but was surprised to find them all dis
qualified for the risky job. One couldn t
swim another had rhuematism, still an
other always took cramps in the water and
so it went down the whole line, But
the order had to be obeyed. So Howell
plunged into the river and made for the
other side. He was a remarkably good
swimmeT and felt sure he was making no
noise, yet he became so frightened that 1
each stroke seemed to him to arouse the
whole Federal camp. Now and then a
lightning bug appeare d and, confi
dent the flash of a Y r ankee musket,
gent u was was ™ uaau
he ducked under water. By-and-byhe
^ , klt Lo c », d
and he was creeping along as cautions y as
possible, his teeth chattering w.th fear,
when of a sudden he struck against an
oid tree that had fallen into the nver.
Jmt then a huge bull-froggave a sonor
^ b - urt and jumped into the river,
Unable to retain his self-possession longer
Howell threw up both hands and yelled
in terror, ‘I surrender, I surrender.’
whgn hc finally rea ched the camp not a
Y#nkee ^ be seen, but .i had smoldering
fire gave evidence that they recently
decamped.”
Sam relates this little incident at the
capital; ‘Winter before last some fel
low introduced a bill in the Senate to in¬
crease the water supply of the District of
Columbia, and found a vigorous second
in Senator Jones, of Florida. A few
weeks later a fire occurred in Willard’s
Hotel, and Senator Jones was among the
first to reach the scene. Just as he got
abreast of one of the engines the supply
pipe burst, and the Senator received a
full head of water square in the face.
After shaking himself, and wringing the
water out of his broadcloth coat, he
shouted with great vehemence: ‘‘The
bill to increase the water supply of the
District of Columbia has lost its most ar
dent friend, by George.’ I believe the
measure never went through.”
Now that Sam is devoting himself to a
line of work quite the reverse of any¬
thing in his former life, we may not hear
so much about his wit and hAmor, but it
is a safe conjecture that his pulpit stories
will make him just as popular as the
others used to, though they will be far
different in substance .—Chicago Herald.
Opportunities in Mexico.
For men with small capitals for invest¬
ment in lands Mexico is not the country,
writes a correspondent of the Boston
Herald. For some time to come syndi¬
cates and large capitalists will continue
to purchase big tracts, and agriculture
will be carried on in that way. Not un
til some time will small tracts be availa¬
ble. There is a field here always for men
with useful specialties, First-class me
chanics who can afford a trip here to
look over the ground might well come,
and people with odd knacks which are
worth money. For example a young
Portuguese came here recently on a ven
ture. His only art was a rare ability to
paint on silk. This seemed a mighty
poor capital to invest here, but he got an
introduction into wealthy families, and
has now a good income from teaching
the sencritas his novel and beautiful art.
The Mexicans love decoration and the
decorative art. Some young people are
doing well here as tutors of English in
rich families, for English is n fashionable
rage, and the senoritas like to be able to
say a few charming things in the lan
guage of Shakespee-arr. It is quite the
alorronl aUim-w Jjm L — —VI - a— 6^---> *
the zeal with which some young Mexican
ladies pursue English is worthy of the
Boston £ iris’ craze on German,
Cafe * 7 keeping . * here is . profitable; css ana,
as we , have an American * • l barber ^ shop s_ and j
American 4 bar-rooms, it seems J quite feasi
bJe tQ make money out of American
cafe, where one could get buckwheat pumpkins!
cakes, pumpkin pie (good |
here)i £ah . balls and other y ankee
dishes . An elderly Englishman here has
made mon ey out of a regular Johnny Bull
eating house , whe re one can get roast
beef and plum pudding and ale ad lib.
The French have their cafe, with their
own cooking, but the American tourist
flnds i ittlo that is familiar to him here,
A genuine American restaurant, run by a
live and energetic man, would pay well.
The & growing taste for American light
suggests the idea ^ that an Amer
carnages
lean fiverv ' stable would be a profitable
venture . Rent need not be high and la
bor would be very cheap, . and jtau*i I think
that the vouth of Mexico would patron
ize liberally a good stable where fine
. f a- i
had. There are not many good carriage
roads here, but there is an opportunity to
*
rent out phaetons, buggies, etc. It
would be a decided novelty here. And
why i __, not a livery stable as well li as the 4 . 1 ^
present roller skating rink, where the
juenesse doree of Mexico go to bark their
shins and crack their crowns. The de
spised roller skating rink is succeeding
here, and down m Vera Cruz they regard
their rink as a most delightfully fashion
able place of entertainment.
Another American novelty which is
paying handsomely here is the circus, per
manently established near where the in
quisition used to bother people with lit
tie iron arrangements for extracting in
formation.
Perpetually “On the Boil. ><
Coffee is brought every morning to you
when at a Mexican hotel, while you re¬
main in it. It is only to the departing
guest that it is denied. At eight o’t lock,
the waiters begin to bestir themselves,
bringing trays to every room, as soon as
they are rung for, with cups and saucers,
and all the requisites ior coffee. You
can have boiled eggs if you like. Then,
enter Francisco with huge tin pots; sim¬
ultaneous streams of coffee and boiled
milk fill up the cup with their equal ex
cellence. Sometimes Francisco comes
from a restaurant a couple of squares
but he runs, and the coffee is not
cob ’
Very V J well, ’ so much for boiled milk m
. k ^ v mil
> Atchison and Topeka, and
^ tQ our litUe New England,
^ ^ of railway restilUr ants be
^ ^ ^ cdy q{ Mexic0 an < our boun
dary I will not here dwell, the strange
food, the bad service, the clumsy boxes
which served as dining rooms. For this
onl to about these oa**
* e Mexican desert, that there was al
*
^ ff and milk St perpet
uaHy oniaeDou boU” ™ to be
.
moment’s notice.-<7ood Housekeeping.
VOL. XII, NO, 27.
SCIENTIFIC SCRAPS.
Statistics are said to show that over
ninety per cent, of mad dogs are re
trieverg, or animals so-called, and that
mongrels are much more liable to hydro¬
phobia than dogs of pure breed.
The generation of heat by friction has
been applied in England to the produc¬
tion of a friction still, with which sur¬
vivors of shipwrecks may obtain steam
and fresh water from sea-water without
the aid of fire.
A paper machine shipped from South
Windham, Conn., recently, weighed
ninety-five tons, and is declared to be
the largest machine of the kind ever
manufactured in the east. Nine freight
cars were required for its shipment.
It is computed that a twelve-inch wall
of hard-burned bricks and good lime
and sand mortar could be built 1600 feet
high before the bottom layers would be
crushed. If Portland cement were added
to the mortar the height might reach
2700 feet.
A comparative statement of the death
rate in England and Wales in the two
decennials periods 1871-1880 and 1861-
1870 has just been published, and shows
a decrease of 1100 deaths a year in each
million inhabitants, The deaths from
diphtheria and fevers supposed to be
due to unhealthy surroundings were
greatly reduced in number.
The Paris Figaro has published an ar
! ^ c ' e on the “manufacture of skeletons,”
I in which the writer says that just outside
of Paris there is an establishment where
human bones of all sorts are collected,
and after being carefully prepared are
fastened together with wires, and when
the work is done it is impossible even for
the scientific eye to detect anything
wrong in a skeleton that has been made
up from the bones of several different in
dividuals.
Perhaps no more striking illustration
of the wonderfui reproductive powers of
certain insects could be given than that
contained in a new work by Mr. Theo
dore Wood, an English entomologist. It
is assumed, first, that 100 aphides weigh
no more collectively than a single grain;
and secondly, that only a very stout man
can weigh as much as 2,000,000 grains,
mt--- 3, • - m r —
alone of the descendants of a singlqaphis
would be equivalent in point of actual !
matter to more than 500, 000,000 very
stout men, or one-third of the human
population w of the globe .supposing • each ■
®
person x to weigh 280 pounds. ,
==----
• Aa Hmler-wUer Boat. I
A y boat has already been invented, ana
actually m existence, which can rink
bel ° w the «“*«* of the water at
and trav f , man r nulcs entirely out of
B1 S hV ' and man v keen and fertile brains
- j
are at work perfecting the horrible in
ventlon ’ Such a vesse! - on sighting a ,
hostile fleet or vessel, would immediately
dive down and make for her foe unseen,
and ab *“y pervious to attack. ■
Her cnem y can 110t tel1 where she ls - or j
wben sbe ma y blow her to pieces She
has absolutely J no means of defense.
Flight is her only resource. The difficul
ty the under-water boat has to contend
with is that of seeing b through ? the water.
Even now there , are signs . of the solution
of the problem, but even if it is not over
come the boat can rise to the surface
wben sbe bkea , take a fresh observation
of her onem y’ 8 whereabouts, and dive
down again preparatory to the final blow,
A {ew such boats would be more terrib!e
to a hostile fleet than a whole row of
ironclad f „ Tb would ,, _ be .
° rts ' ® y an in
ta ^ b,p ’ hunting danger that would
d ™l>zc the stoutest heart.-AM the
I ^ 1
---
j The Weaker Force Generally Worsted.
From Gen. Buell’s “Shiloh Reviewed”
in the Century we quote as follows:
“Nowhere in history is the profane idea
that in a fair field fight, Providence is on
the side of the strongest battalions, more
uniformly sustained than in our civil war.
j t presents no example of the triumph of
15,000 or even 20,000 men against 25,000.
It affords some such instances where the
stronger force was surprised by rapid and
unexpected movements, and still others
where it was directed with a want of
skill against chosen positions strength- j
ened by the art of defence; but nowhere
else. The weaker force is uniformly de
feated or compelled to retire.
Unable to Tfll.
“Hello, Ned! You’ve been getting
married, have you?”
“Guess I have, Tom.”
a Good move, I suppose? Father-in
law well off?”
“I hope so.”
it Hope so! Why, don’t you know?”
< . Nothing definite. You see, he died
about two weeks ago, and we haven’t
any information from him yet as to
whether he’s well off or not.”— Yonlxr's
Gazette.
He Mas in a Harry.
“Do not intercept me, or delay me a
moment," said a gentleman to a friend,
"for I am in an awful hurry.”
“What’s the matter,” replied his
friend.
“Oh, nothing, only I have just bought
my wife a new bonnet and I want to get
home before the style change, 6
i
Love Now.
You will love me the day I lie dying,
Oh I love me then living,
While yet from a full heart replying,
I give to your giving.
What gain hath my lifetime of loving
If you pass it all by
Te give me back treble my loring ' : 'K
In the hour I die? *
All anguish, all maddest adoring,
Will be vain in that day,
Though you knelt to me then with Imp*
What word could I say!
Oh! love me, then, now, that it quUk^
My heart’s failing breath.
Why wait till to love is to sicken
At the coldness of death?
—Independent
HUMOROUS.
A very expensive cane—Hurricane.
A poor rifle—Picking a pauper's pock
et.
The thermometer gains notoriety by
degrees, so to speak.
Is there any difference between a trav¬
eling dress and a walking suit?
The letter-carrier that gets around
quickest is the cylinder of a printing
press.
Some women swallow flattery as babies
swallow buttons, without any idea of the
trouble that may follow.
The evil consequences of smoking are
illustrated by Mt. Vesuvius, which con¬
stantly suffers from eruptions.
“Is the tide going out?” said a sailor
to a gentleman who was passing a house
where a marriage had just taken place.
We never hear anything more of the
phonograph. It has probably gone into
a barber shop and been talked to death.
Larry Lazybones (who had been told
to start in to do a week’s ploughing): “I
wish I were dead—th t’s what I wish!”
Humorous grandfather: it Yes, Larry,
that’s jest like ye 1 Ye want to be lyin’
* u J er grave, takin'it easy all the rest o'
yer life.
Looking out of the window one eve
ning, a little girl saw the bright full
moon in the eastarn sky, and, apparently
only a few inches from it, the beautiful
planet Jupiter, shining almost as brightly
as the moon itself. Gazing int'ntly on
them a moment, she exclaimed, “O papa!
The Bdl that Wouuded Haticack,
Dr. Lewis W. Read, of Norristown,
thus relates the circumstances of General
Hancock’s recovery from his wound re¬
ceived at Gettysburg: “I was medical
director of the Pennsylvania Reserves,
aad J* the 1st of November,
1865, I came home on twenty-four hours
Rave of absence. I called to see the
General, who was in bed at his father’s
residence. I found him very much dis
heartened. He had gr.wn thin, and
looked pale and emaciated. He said he
felt as if he was going to die, and that
he had been probed and tortured to such
an extent that death would be a relief.
I endeavored to cheer him up and as I
was about b.dding him farewell he said :
‘ Good b y e - Doctor i 1 ma y never see y #u
again.’
“I had my hand on the door knob ot
his chamber when he said: ‘See here,
Doctor, why don’t you try to get this
ball out. I have had all the reputation
. the . . let „ . have
m country at it; now s some
of the practical.’
“He was lying in the bed with his
wounded limb actually flexed and all
the probing had been done with his leg
bent at nght angles. The ball had hit
bim an inch 3 ust of below the femoral the "S ht artery, &t0ln wniie ’ ^ ne
was Bitting in . the saddle with his legs
distended. I went down to my office
for a probe with a concealed blade and
LTeVtn rtraigbtenlng ^ Vie and
[ ]aci > jt as M in the posi
jon vas wheQ the ball struck hlm j
inserted tbe Drobe f and it dropped fully
^ . . incheg the channel and struck
baU ’ which was imbedded in the
ha bo ne which you s ; t upon . in a
WBe kg S , ^ me (be General was out on
crutches, and in two weeks more he at¬
tended a Masonio gathering at Odd Fel¬
lows’ Hall. I forget the caliber of the
bullet, but it was a big Minie ball. ”—
Philadelphia Times.
Had Become Monotonous.
a New Yorker lately met one of the
“American colony” in Canada, and in
course of conversation asked him tbe
cause of his seclusion.
. . Why, I was a county treasurer in Il¬
linois, and was $13 short in my ac¬
counts," was the frank reply.
You didn’t have to skip for $13 did
you? 1
“Yes, sir.”
it I should have thought you could
raise that among your friends.”
tt Yes you may think so, hut if you had
seen ’em put up $2,700 to save me on the
other term you’d understand that the
thing had become rather monotonous.”—
Wall Street Hews.
Can o and EfT c*.
Husband (turning up hit cellar ).—
“There’s another cold wave coming in a
very few minutes.”
Wife.—“Why, Charles, ho.v do you
know?”
Husband (icith a shiver ).—“’Cause I
forgot to bring home that uew botmet for
you.”— Fuck.