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The Covington Star. J. W. ANDERSON. Editor and Proprietor. | The Bose Over the Door, ■cottage, all fitted and furnished, fctands daintily over the way, Kd here a young pair to housekeeping tame promptly the first day of May • fte place seemed to be home-like and cosy, the sua shone bright on the floor, It one dewy eve saw them planting Ia rose to bloom over the door, But love, - ’ they say, -‘flies out of the win¬ dow hVlien poverty enters the door.” ht against all trials and troubles [These store, two young hearts garnered full Lr when fell the hush of the twilight, rriiey whispered anew love’s sweet lore, love closer the bonds of affection, |Neath roses that bloomed o’er the door. pd then the ‘‘dark (Jays ’ closed around them, [And poverty’s waves overbore; p keep (he dear home how they struggled, [Where roses bloomed over the door, hdnow, all their “trial time” ended, [They dwell in (h > snnlight once more, hd love brightly gleams on the hearth¬ . stone ■Mho: e roses bloom over the door. b new-mated paira who are building Your home-nests, now hee l, I implore, lis l6<son: That love lingers longest Where roses bloom over the door. > ye who count home more than shelter, Plant, ere the bright spring-time is o’er ; make homo the brighter and dearer, A rose to bloo n over the door. Vicks Magazine.. THE ORPHANS. “Marian, dear, how is the morning: [ir or cloudy ? inquired Ethel Ray, [rning on the invalid couch, where she y during the day as well as at night. “Dark and cloudy, ” she replied, the bid dreariness of the new day striking chill to her sensitive, heavily-burdened eart. A tired, hopeless look swept over |r delicate, noble face, leaving a slight P°P the corners of her mouth, a ladow in her eyes. Ethel saw the ex¬ tension, and for a moment her own •ew less cheerful and bright. << Never mind; there will be rift in a be clouds by and by,” she said with re ewed hope. i i I am glad you have such faith, pet,’’ aid Marian, still looking out on the treet. A poor beggar crept feebly along, his ags fluttering in the bitter wind; and in Bf'ri ^■lity for a lot sadder than her own, the lost some of her discontent. She ^Burned from the window with a brighter press ion, and put on her hat and cloak HI,i start out on that weary round of mu ^^-io hssons, which were their support. ( ( I am sorry to leave you, Ethel ; aud [it will be late before I can get through.’’ “Do not fret about me, Marian, Airs. [O’Malley 'lunch, will come in and give me my aud a fresh glass of wa’er, and I have this beautiful lace to mend for Miss Constantine, and that magazine vou brought me yesterday to read. Oh, I j shall be fuily occupied until your re- j turn. ! Well, well, it is comforting to have so brave and busy n little sister at home. I j think of it often when 1 am out, and it I gives me courage,” said Marian, bending j over the couch with tender, misty eyes. The crippled girl clasped thc slender hand caressing her hair, and drew it down against her check. it Am I a help to you, Marian? Oh, that thought makes me happy! I lie here such a helpless, useless creature; some¬ times I have feared that I was only a burden to you.” “Never think of that again, dear one —never. If it were not for you-” She broke off, and stooping kissed the sweet, pale face resting on the pillow; but when she would have moved away, Ethel held her a moment longer. “Marian, darling, do not lose your faith and hope. There will be clear sun¬ shine after a while, and all these dark clouds will vanish. «> I will try to think so,” she replied, with a smile—a smile that vanished the moment she left her sister’s presence, and memory began to bring up one by one the events of thc two years just passed. The girls had been left orphans at an early age, but with property sufficient to supply all they could ever need, notonly of necessities, but even luxuries. Their guardian controlled and managed the money, and they lived in his house, under the care of liis good-hearted maiden sister. E’hel had always been lame and delicate, but Marian went out into the world, seeing and enjoying its beauties and pleasures. Walking swiftly along to give her first music lesson, she drew a sharp breath of anguish, as memory too faithfully recalled all the glory and happiness of a tour in Italy with a party of friends, just before the downfall of fortune. At the very outset they met Mark Turner, handsome, intelligent, and, to the young girl, a very king among men. He joined the party, and singled her out as the object of his attentions. The routes they travelled he had been over before, and he could point out all that was beautiful and interesting. It was a golden season, and, the girl’s heart surrendered in spite of womanly pride and reluctance, But she had no cause to feel shame, or to believe love unsought for. One mellow, moonlit night, in an Neapolitan garden, he stretched out hand to her with sudden, words of love ; and so eloquently did plead for the sweet gift of her that she could not withhold the promise to be his wife. 11 You shall never it shall be happy! regret } You *> he cried with lover’s a confidence. it I am happy now! ” she flashed and shy, but whispered, radiant. They wandered along among the flow¬ ers, feeling that heaven lay about them; but the next morning the girl received bad news from home, She only made out clearly that her presence was needed, and with only one regretful sigh for the bright dreams she had cherished, she began preparations to return to England. Turner earnestly begged to be allowed to accompany her, but she gently re¬ fused. it I shall come in few weeks, whether a you send for me or not. We must finish this interrupted tour together, Marian," he suggested. She returned homo to find their guar¬ dian dead, and their fortune gone — swept away in some ill-advised specula¬ tion. The maiden lady sought a home with relatives, and Marian Rnv found herself among the world’s workers, and with a helpless invalid to take care of. Helpless, did we say ? Nay, she was the only hope and comfort of poor Mari¬ an’s heart ; for her handsome, wealthy lover came not, and the letter she wrote to him explaining their reverses of for¬ tune remained u (answered. She tried to think of him with contempt; to hold the love that failed in the hour of her bitterest need as valueless; but she only succeeded in tormenting her own faithful loving heart, which, in spite of pride and reason, clung to that short, sweet ro mance with a hold death alone could break. All day she walked from house to house, through the bitter cold, while the fogs hung dull and heavy over the metropolis. It was dark when she reached home, and hurrying eagerly up-stairs, she pushed open the door, anxious to be with her sister as soon as possible. They were careful with fuel, with everything; necess.ty forced them to study economy, and Marian expected to find the room iu darkness, only a scanty handful of coa< in the grate. She entered to find a glow¬ ing tire, and the table set with daintiessi while the little tea-kettle steamed merri¬ ly on the hob. “Ethel!” she cried, hastily throwing -i* J i o -*-3 -.,,1 towards her sister’s bed: “Oh, Marian, sister!" cried the invalid, in a voice tremll ng with strange emo tion. Then Marian felt her heart leap in a Ml (locating throbof pain and rapture, for out of the semi-darkness of the corner Mark Turner advanced, with outstretch ed hands to meet her. “Marian, have you no welcome for me?” A chilling remembrance of all his silence and neglect swept over her, and pride rose in arms. 1 Certainly, f—I welcome you, Mr. Turner,” she said, stiffly, stepping back a little. “What! have you forgotten?” he cried, in keenest disappointment. “No, sir; it is because I remember, that I can give you no friendlier greet¬ ing. I wonder that you can expect it, aft*r such long neglect and coldness. I can¬ not pass over such slights.” i. But Marian, he did not get your let¬ ter; and he could uot come when he in. tended, for a hurt received among th» Alps kept him a prisoner for several weeks and then he had to search and search, and has just found us, said Ethel, half raising herself up, the crimson fire light giving even her pale face a roseate tint. changed, and her eyes , Marian’s face , mutely questioned her lover’s. “it is all true. Gould you believe I loved you so lightly 1” he murmured. And this time she did not shrink back when he approached, but gave him the welcome he craved. Ethel fell softly back among her pil¬ lows, her delicate hands clasped, her eye* radiant. The reader can readily supply the sequel .—Amy Waring. He Knew His Business. Spriggins—You are a society reporter, aren’t you: * felic¬ Pennibs—I have that expressible ity. write the fashions, Spriggins—You up don’t you? Pennibs— That is one of my numerou* functions. Spriggings—Well, how much will you charge for a paragraph stating that a plain gold band is now the proper thing for an engagement ring, ’ I have to buy for Mamie to-morrow, and if I one could show her such a paragraph, would be $100 in my pocket. -Ramb-er. A Revengeful Artist. Dauber, the artist, has a private grodg* against Bondclipper. the banker, Oon versing with a friend on this subject, Dauber remarked: . 4 I’d like to play him a trick that would make him a perpetual object oi ridicule.” PU tell you how you can do it. “How!” will mifct “Paint hie portrait. That him squirm.”— Btftmfi*. COVINGTON, GE ORGIA, WEDN •AY, OCTOBER 13. 1886. WITH THH ALABAMA. A New Story of the Confed¬ erate Cruiser. One of Her Grew Tells How She Once Lost a Rick Yankae Prize. “Master’s Hate” tells the following story of his vessel, the Confederate cruiser Alabama, in the Detroit Free Press :— In 1863, as the Confede.ate cruiser left Bahia for Capo Town to prey upon Federal commerce wherever found, she captured the Justina only a few miles east of the port mentioned. Then she beaded to the south and picked up the .Jabez Snow, the Amazonian, the Talisman and the Conrad in succession on that course. When below Rio Janeiro aud ready to shape her course to the east, she picked up the Anna Schmidt, and four days later, the Ex¬ press. From that point we made the long voyage to the Cape without secur ing another victim, though we sighted several which escaped us. My story has to do with one of the latter incidents. One afternoon, as we were holding our course under sail, with the fires banked and steam down, a sail was sighted to the Dorth. After a time she was made out to be a large ship, and was holding her course for the Cape. For a long time some of the officers held that she was English, and as we were both gradu ally nearing each other, the engineer re ceived no orders to get up steam. There was a good sea on, and the promise of a nasty night, when, an hour before sun down, the two crafts, running the legs of a triangle, as it were, approached each other within about two miles. Then we hoisted the United States flag, although by this time it was well known that she was American. After a few minutes the ball was run up to her masthead and broke away to unfurl the old stars and stripes. We hnd made ourselves believe that we hated the old flag, but when we saw it giveu to the breeze above the swelling sails of a noble clipper out there on the broad Atlantic, we men felt like cheering. Down came the flag of deceit from our mast-head, and up went the flag of the Southern Confederacy iu its place. It must have been a great surprise to the Yankee, and upon my word I felt sorry *•*» 'Hf n.1, 4 lie fhe^winff J mg given over to was from the northwest, and breezing up stronger alt the time. We cast loose a ; gun and fired a shot across the the usual clipper order s | course, and according to | of things she should have heaved to and submitted to thc inevitable. We all looked for such action, especially as we were now not over a mile apart and she well under our guus. There was some tbing like a flutter of excitement aboard of her for a moment, and then her nosa pointed up to the north, her men swarmed aloft, and in five minutes she was a pyramid of canvas and walking off like a race horse. D uring this interval we had been beat¬ ing to quarters and casting loose the guus, and as it was seen that she meant to runaway from us we opened on her with everything that would bear. She was now almost stern-on to us, and iu a raking position, but we soon found that the heavy sea running materially inter¬ fered with our gunnery. She had no doubt calculated on this, and though soma of our shots gave her a ciosa shave, she gave her whole attention to getting away. We soon saw that she could out s ill us, aud orders were given to get up steam. We kept pegging away at her in hopes to cripple her aloft, but before we had accomplished anything darkness down We sent men alo f t w j t h glasses to keep her in sight, and reserved onr ammunition until we should get to close quarters. We clapped on all the canvas we could carry, and after a time had steam to help us along, but before the propellei had made a revolution the men aloft had reported that thc clipper was out of sight. Our only recourse was to follow to the northeast in hopes of picking her up when davlight came, but when day broke after a long and weary night the ocean was clear of sail. The day we reached Cape Town we saw our fugitive safely anchored in the harbor. Two or three days laler, when I was on shore leave, Iran across some of her crew, and was told by them that as soon as she was beyond our sight she turned on her heel and ran to the south, thus crossing our bows and making every yard we run take us farther away from her. At midnicht she bore to the East again, and was in Cape Town four days ahead of US. A Fuzz ed City .Maiden. A little city maiden, on a visit to her uncle’s farm, saw a threshing-machine in | operation for the first time. “Oh, mamma!” cried she, rushing j into thc house all out of breath, “there’s j something out in Uncle Joe s bam with j two horses in it, and they keep going and going, and never get anywhere. — i Bazar. Watering place girls—■4bo§# on their n iuth annual summer resort tour, and still unmarried—are very fond of wit I naming match games. A Prince of Coachmen The following is from a Lons ooh letter to the New- York Hen 'fat American coachman, whatever t ia e# of his nativity, is the best paidVhn of his class in the world. His wagHlmge from $25 to $80 per month and “iouud." The average is probably about $4§|| The meaning of the word “found’? in the contract depends largely upon iM&ends t}|sifiber ality of the employer. Often to the entire length of his good J || re as welL Por example, one case dis covered 0CCU P ied that a lar caused S e corner surprise. room, T®| fMshed jnau wSth and 8evcral a comfortable chairs. spring His bed^iiano half flozen eas y of boot * and shoes were placid out Bide the door at night to be bi^ie ned alld 8 barber tame to his room ___ m every „„ morning " morning tn to suave ska™ i,;- his face. Ipf only overlooked the grooming of v |he six . horses in his care. The work vAtdone by menials in the stables, whom he paid oui of his allowance. He affected hot sea-water baths, and had his olothing sent in a hamper once a week to a New York laundry—“just like the family." When a party of the proper kind could be made up he had his little rubber at whist or trifled with “that blarsted American game of poker.” Now that he could not form a combination with the butler at the mansion in town to sample kis master’s wines and liquo-rs, he drank rather cheaper claret—but less of it. The mota ent he returned from a drive he changed his clothes and laid aside the implements of his occupation. When he knew the horses were cared‘for he lit a c *g ar and strolled down to see Mr. Drexel’s, Mr. Seligman’s, Mr, Curtis’ or Mr. Kennedy’s men. In nearly every case was telephonic communication with these friends possible, and he always availed himself of the latest advances of science. Another idea of hiswasnevir to place himself beyond reach by the same means. Therefore he confined his intercourse to such friend* as had tele¬ phones in their stables. Big Ear. Much of my observation is, of course, as yet tentative and uncertain. But of j the contour I may freely say that I am convinced bv every one of many keen ! observations'll^ the man whose upper ear projects and bends forward is iuvari- | ably one who is either very tractable, or ! desirous of learning, or very diligent, [ i ^ haWt of attending or giving at . tention tQ whftt passc3 aroand him . H e , g t<) learn> easv ‘ to traill) provide d ^ ^ . g delicato aud faciIe enough to do what required of him on occa _ . On the other hand, the man whose ear buttons back to his bead— is close to the »kull in its tip and posterior margi*, evinces opposite qualities. He is intract a ]ji C) inattentive, heedless; he i* accus tomed t0 heari it is true, but not to mind w hat he hears; to allow people’s cruel, witty, w'se, and trenchant sayings to go by unobserved. Nevertheless, such a man may be handled, by reason of hi* being unobservant. A good many ex¬ cellent public servants have such ears, and must habitually be unobservant of i many things, since so many uncomfort¬ able affairs encompass and engage them that they would become quite miserable were they to heed them all. The pointed ear is the ear of the tur¬ bulent, intractable man; who breaks out occasionally in an original vein, and who has his days and hours of uneasiness. The ear bounded in its superior margin by a curved line, is that of the quiet, easy, amiable man .—Phrenological Jour¬ nal. Wholesale Poisonings. The frequency with which people who i partake of picnic ice cream find them¬ selves poisoned suggests the theory that adulteration is being carried to a more dange rous extreme than ever before. As mos t 0 f these troubles occur in the coun tr y w here the principal materials of w hich ice cream is compounded are naturally p Ure it might be worth while to subject i I flavorings used in the to > the cream a t ! critical analysis. These are put up in cities as a rule, aud it would not be sur prising it th?y were found to be the cau8e cf the illnesses which are reported | with such frequency. | It is a well known fact that it is chem- ; ; ically possible to make almost any fruit j flavor out of acids of various kinds, and ; it may be that some unprincipled manu I fncturer has put on the market flavorings made by similar processes. Aaultcra j tions have become so common that no effort should be spared to discover the real cau-'' of tht numerous wholesale poisoning rs which occur wherever food is carelessly prep; ire ! for I irge numbers of I people. One successful prosecution against a swindling manufacturer would i be wortli millions to the country.— j u er ,ild. It Matters How Us Spelled. [ Office Bore H ‘doe It ‘scombe; you ! missed me dreadfully, I’ni sure. Busy Editor- Yes. Mr. Graves. “I’m just home from a little trip to the Yosemite.” “Ah, indeed! Well, I’m glad to see you’re back.” [It sojmded ail rilffit, but, the bore wondered 1*’, 't f ! 1 : iiposlj'iphe was there or not. SCIENTIFIC SCRAPS. A h reach botanist has enumerated 878 spea.es of plants growing in Greenland, am! lie fluids that they resemble those of Lapland more than those of the American continent. A lately deceased French doctor spent his life in studying distorted mankind, and made a large collection of skeletons of deformed persons. This unique museum is about to be sold in Paris, and is expected to realize the sum of $6,000. Tue active principle of cod-liver oil, of which it forms from one and a half to six per cent., has been obtained by Dr. Lafarge of Paris, and is said to have given excellent results when used in place of the crude oil. The substance is called morrhuol, , and , contains , . twelve , times ,. as much . iodine, . .. bromine . and , phosphorus , , as , . . . .. . , , , * ’ A history of herbaria _ lias been written ^ r - Saint Lager of Lyons. From this a PP ears tbat the oldest collections of P resscd P' an ? s now extant, or partially so ’ are those of Aldrovandi, begun about 1553> and containin g at least <5,000 s P® cimen8 i of Girault, of Lyons, dated i ”’ 8 > and °f Cesalpin, dated 1653. The coilections are now in Bologna, Paris and * lorence - In order to settle the question as to the proper treatment for persons who have < )uen frozen, Dr. Laptchinski has made a series of very careful experiments upon dogs. He found that of 20 animals treated by the method of gradual resusci tation in a cold room 14 perished; of i 20 placed at once in a warm room, eight died, while 20 put immediately into a hot bath recovered quickly and without j accident, Mr. E. Yung has been ascertaining the . nature of the influence of saltwater on the development of the larvm of the frog. The tadpole perishes in from three to twenty minutes in the water of the Med iterranean, containing four per cent, of salts, and in a few hours in a solution of marine salts in the proportion of one psr cent. But it may be adapted to an i ; existence in salt water by a gradual pre paration through a series of solutions of from two to eight per 1,000. Why have , Yellow Fevor? Singularly flattering reports continue to be made concerning Dr. Domingos Freire’s sys tern of preventive inoculation in yellow fexev. —A4ate one to the Paris Biograph- | hot months in Brazil ending with Feb ruary last, 8,051 subjects were inoculat- ; ed in Rio de Janeiro, and not one had the fever, whereas, in the same districts and houses 278 non-vaccinated suc cumbed to the disease, What is more remarkable is that severe eases were inoculated in the second stage of the disease, and all recovered Losing a I’ost-offlee. In the early days of Michigan, when many of the post-offices were carried in the hats of the postmasters, a postmaster in Livingston County was out in the woods one day and lost several letters from the hat. A day or two after that a pioneer named Bailey came to his house and inquired if there was any mail for jjjuj “There was a letter for you, Bill, but I’ve lost it,” was the reply. “When ?” 1 1 1 Tother day in thc woods.” u Well, I want that letter 1” n But ye can’t git It I’m sorry I lost it. but that's all I can do.” < « Then I’ll have you removed from of fice! ’ “Look a-here, Bill Bailey,” said the offic al, as he began to skin off his coat, “I was appointed to hold thi* post office, and <’ m bound to do it. As a private citizen I have no hard feelings agin you; as postmaster I lost a letter writ to you by your sister in York State; as a repre¬ sentative of this great and awful govern¬ ment, I want to say to you that if I hear tw0 more words of sass from y our tbraat lnl sll PP ress the insurrection by hanging y° u tbu ncarest tree i 80 < le <P n,e ® od > sir!” > lr - ^ wa8 ‘ however permitted to make a hunt in the woods for his letter, suppressed.— Detroit Free Press. The Giant nnd the Pill. A giant once engaged a pill in conver¬ sation, and becoming suddenly angry, a ^ lised jj, dle mos t violent manner and made the most sarcastic and insulting re¬ marks about its s : ze and seeming weak ness Thc did not rep i y to the in¬ gultS( but on thc following morning it fecro ted itself in the food that had been prepared for the giant and thus obtained an entrance into his inner temple, where it straightway w’reaked a direful ven geaacti. Moral: This fable teaches that science is often a match for superior muscle in a pugilistic encounter.— Life, Still in Want. Ee Baggx “it is remarkable how these mt. i tailors in do take a man in. ' . . Bagley- *. 1 * 11 lne * ’ . . bov. ft.i > I" it " it ■ t t r 11 ; e mi. No, I don t ire an t at nw a i_n the other day that lea . you wan a L' i > '' '*’' t corae < n ere - went m. good suit.’— Bhdailel P VOL. XII, NO, 47. Facts About Life Preservers, •‘Is it not strange that with so many ■ new inventions constantly being made, the ^ old-fashioned cork life preserver still re¬ ma i M j u vogue?” said a captain of a steamer to a New York Mail and Exp rest reporter. “Are they not good enough, captain^ “Oh, yes. I believe they answer bet ter than anything yet invented for using quickly in case of accident. Although it is simple enough to strap a life-pre¬ server on, yet many people are frequently drowned by putting them on in a loose way and getting their feet turned to the air instead of their heads. Then, too, in a general panic the preservers are often tied or buckled carelessly, and a few waves soon knock them off. The india rubber ... suits cannot be 1 put on so quickly. ‘ - That , is . one drawback , to them. _ What good would a rubber suit do a man in mid-ocean unless he has nerve and pluck Boynton and those professional swim m ers? Think of a lady incased in a rub her armor tossing about in mid-ocean, ghe would soon die from fright. Sailors an( j seamen would be at home perhaps in rubber life-preservers, and could pad die about and keep up their spirits. But in the hurry of leaving the ship after a collision, for instance, who would have j time to put on and inflate the robber life preservers? The moment an accident occurs, confusion and panic generally follow, especially among the passengers, As a rule the departure from the ship is a i rush a ud deuce take the hindermost. Hence a life-preserver must be easily put on and have no complications whatever, They would be perfectly useless other wise. I have thought of all kinds of new-fangled life-preservers, but none are worthy of adoption, or rather they are impracticable. My idea once was to have a good-sized half-barrel, with strap* 80 placed that a peison could easily buckle himself to it in the water. Then on the inside of the barrel would bo a little fresh water and something to eat. By taking out a plug or a slide the food could be reached. I have found nearly everything impracticable. Presence of mind in the face of danger is the greatest life-preserver a person can possess, Without this coolness the best preserver is of little avail. Old Apprentice Hays. Workmen in former days worked from twelve to fourteen hm»ra » .. si imzed.few holidays, Daniel Wilson, the pren’iced when a boy to his uncle in Londoili an extensive silk manufacturer, who was a hard worker himself, and ex acted hard work from all in his employ. Young Wilson said that some of the ; bands were kept so busy that for weeks they did not put their hats on, and had no holiday for two or three years. Ho speaks of his own round of duty: i . My individual employment is not , laborious, but it is constant. Our usual hours of work arc from six o’clock in thc morning till eight o’clock in the evening in summer, and from seven o’clock iu the morning till eight o’clock in the evening in winter. “So vou sec I have but little time to myself. After eight o c ock, in general, I am at liberty to read or write alone till supper-time, which is at half-past eight o’clock, or a quarter to nine, and after this I sit reading with the family till ten o’clock, when my uncle calls them to ) prayers, and all go to bed." There was no opportunity given to form bad habits on the streets or in doubtful company. But, in spite of such long hours of work, young Wilson managed to find two hours of study daily, and thus to fit himself for the uni¬ versity. Comfort in the Rain Storm. The health-giving 1 properties ' of - ram are not appreciated . , , by thc general , pub- , lie. t, Rain • • essential .. , . to physical , . . is an . localties , that have extensive . ■ vigor in any population. , Man ,, and ... his occui ations . lade the air with countless ., and , unclassi- , • fied . . impurities. . .. The generous, i-ii kindly ' rain absorbs , them, , even as a washer- , woman extracts the . dirt ,. from , soiled , clothes. The ammoniacai exhalation, the gases resultant from combustion and de j cay, are all quietly absorbed by a brisk shower. People talk about a “dry climate, but it is a snare and a delusion. There is nothing in it. A very dry climat ■ will never support a large popu lation, lor it would soon become so poisoned that it would be fatal to the liuman race. A scattering few might in habit it, but not the multitude.— Roches ter Union. B g Hailstone*. After the hailstorm of the other even ; ng a spventy-niner met Amos Steck at the St. James. “Biggest hailstones I ever saw,” said the friend. “Oh, non¬ sense,” said the bluff Amos; “if you hadn’t mentioned it I wouldn’t have known we had auy hail, Just a little frozen rain—that’s all.” • • You have seen ]ar2 , er hailstones?” asked the ^ .. Look here ; jn ^ right . . . here in . Denver, _ over there at . that ... old house of mine—it was in the country then—1 have seen the hail so thick that „ round was no t visible in any direc and ag ^ { Uied two of the hailstone-, tor a weight on my front gate for over two weeks after the storm!”— ] s News. A Simple Song. I could stand,” the poet said, “Upon yon mountain’s distant crest. And catch the songs from overhead, My soul would sigh for rast- n no more He stood upon the lonely height, And heard the singing of the spheres. He caught the music in its flight. And sent it ringing down the years. But no one listened to the strain That echoed from the far-away; “Alas!” he cried, “my toil is vain, Too grand these songs for such as they.” * id then he softly touched his lyre,. And sang a song so wild and sweet, { bleeding hop 2 and dead desire— And lol the world was at his feet. ■ —James C. Rockwell in the Current. HUMOROUS. The great noose of the day—the mar dage & knot. . > Shows the breadth of the man”--hi* rest .—Burlington Free Press. No rogue e’er felt such terror of the /aw as docs a man whose wife knows how *,o jaw. Why is a man who can’t learn by ex P erience like a hmrei? Because he is au Fish is good brain-food, except in in stances when it doesn’t find anything to assimilate with. Some men are like toads—you have ti¬ poke them with a stick before they naakr their biggest jump. “There’s very little change in men’s trousers this year, ” remarked a tailor as he failed to collect a bill. The greatest mental effort that a dude makes is when he has to determine whether to take out his cane or his um¬ brella. Thc mule has the ful1 al J° wance ot vertebra in the backbone. ere are Gmts when it ^ has more t ana ula ow ftn< e °i Hray. There don’t seem to be much use foi miiffs in this sort of weather, but, ac cord < n 3 to all reports, the base-ball P< n y ers < lllvc them in abundance, A Western firm guarantees a wife to every man who purchases of it a suit of clothes, and it guarantees fits. If you don’t get them in the clothes you’ll get ’em from the wife. Annie and Emily were enjoying them first bftth m the gl™s surf at Old Orchard. It began to rain while thev ssvie. “Where are you going ?” Emily. lie Soli led the Business Thoroughly. McCoy, when he came to Scott coun ty, went to work for a farmer named Hitt, who had a very charming daugh ter Emma. A young man whom Fanner Hitt had repeatedly driven from the place continued to come around, paying his addresses to the daughter, until finally the farmer, despairing of keeping him away by any milder means, hired McCoy to thrash him every time he came near. Once or twice, or may be more, the young man came, saw the girl, took his thrashing, and departed. But one day there came the end of this sort of thing. McCoy, returning from town, where he had gone as driver and escort for the daughter, approached the father, saying: • . Well, Mr. Hitt, I’ve settled this busi ness of that young fellow’s coming around here to see Em. <. What do you mean?” asked the farmer. “I I mean that he won’t come any more, an’ you can bet on it. >> 4. Why, Mac, you haven’t killed him. have you?” asked the farmer, fearfully. “No. Better than that. >1 “What then?” „„ “I’ve married . . Em. The old ,, farmer , flew „ into a dreadful , , rage, , but McCoy „ „ , had , the .. girl, . , and , there ___ & ’ ; her from , him, , . 80 was no getting awav Farmer Hitt, ... like a sensible ... man, made the most of it and gave , his . son-m-law . , a piece 1 of land, „ ’ Which .... he is now tilling, win e “Em” _ minds . . the , , babies ... like a duti fui , wife .—Chicago _ . Mews. Ho Asked Too Much of It. Marvelous as is the telephone, its util f, as made it as common as grocers’ sugar, and in consequence it does not get cred jt it justly deserves. People jj 8Ve cease d to wonder, and find them selves unconsciously demanding more than the little instrument can perform, This was the case of a well-known archi tect the other day when telephoning to the stone-yard about a certain piece of work. He had asked the stone-yard if he knew the exact shape of the stone that had been ordered, and on receiving a negative answer had promptly replied, j “It is just this way,” drawing the shape of the stone on the wall alongside of his telephone. He looked silly when he dis¬ covered his mistake, and quickly told the stone man he would call down and tell him about the stone. —Rehoboth Sun¬ day Herald. Proverb rs. Proverb. Father—“I wish, John, you could be i contented to settle down and live like other people, and not go roving all over the country. You must remember that a ‘rolling stone gather* no moss. y Son—“True enough. Governor, but ‘a setting hen never gets fat .’”—Fret I Press.