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J. W. ANDERSON, Editor and Proprietor.
s£®SOLUTtLV
'SM
f »J
m
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POWDE
Absolutely Pure.
This powder never varies. A inarve
of purity, strength and wholesomeness.
More economical than the ordinary kinds
and cannot be sold in competition with
the multitude of low test, short weight
alum or phosphate powders. Sold only
in cans. ROYAL BAKING POWDER
CO. 106 Wall street. New York.
FURNITURE
We advise all those wanting furniture
of any kind to go to
John Neal & Go
Nos 7 and 9 South Broad St„
ATLANTA, GA.
As they keep a full line, which they
are selling at LOWER PRICES than
can be had elsewhere. Sets from $22.60
up, etc. Don’t forget their address.
-CtO-s
fRYSTAlSIS
HADE MARK
COMBINED WITH GREAT
Refracting THEY Power.
ARE AS TRANSPARENT AND
COLORLESS AS LIGHT ITSELF.
And for softness of endurance to the
eye cannot be excelled, enabling
the wearer to read for hours
without fatigue, Ia
fact, they are
?? Perfect Sight Preservers* ??
Tesiimonials from the leading physicians
in the United States, governors, sena¬
tors, legislators, stock men, men of
note in all professions and in differ¬
ent branches of trade, bankers,
mechanics, etc., can be given
who have had their
sight improved by
their use.
ALL-:-EYES-:-FITTED,
And the Fit Guaranteed by Dr. J. A.
Wright, Covington, Ga.
These glasses are not supplied to
peddlers at any price.
A. K. HAWKES,
m6july!9. Atlanta, Ga
Franklin B. Wright
COVINGTON, GA.
Resident Physician & Surgeon.
children, Gynecology, Obstetrics, diseases of women Chronic and
diseases and all
ty; I have of a private nature, command, a special¬
hi'li . a horse at my
w will enable me to attend calls
in the surrounding country, as we> 1*<*
my city practice.
FRANKLIN B. WRIGHT. M. D.
I THEO. MARKWALTER,
1‘ [1 Marble and Granite Works,
3 '. '5 “ HOME Manufacturer AND of EASTERN all kinds of
Grnlte and Marble Monuments.
519 Broad street, near Lower Market, Augusta, Georgia.
. _
J Covington Star.
Winds of Homo.
0, a/tnds of home, that from the westward
start,
And blow across the highlands of my heart,
Do ye a message hear,
Upon your wings of air,
From her with whom my being forms a
part?
0, winds of home, I know what you would
say;
That she is true; and waiting the dear day
When by her side once more,
All grief and longing o’er.
Together we shall journey on life’s way.
0, winds of home, your message fond I
hear;
None other’s words could sound so sweetly
clear.
They echo in my heart;
And now, before we park,
Bo this my answer, as you westward veer:
Tell her, though I havo rovod from
afar,
Her love has shown above me like a sta
A nd now its holy ray
Shall light mo on my way
To her and home where all my
are.
When I behold the daybreak of her eyes,
Then new whito dawn within my soul shall
rise;
And peace and rest are mine,
True love and joy divine,
To _____
be with her till earthly daylight diei
0, winds of home, turn back your wings of
air,
And helD to swell the sails that homeward
bear!
And all across the sea,
Your voice shall sing to me
Of her whose gift of loving makes life fair.
—(.George Birdseye, in Detroit Free Press.
A DOCTOR’S STORY,
On a fine summer day in the year 187
—, I wa9 proceeding by the southwest¬
ern railway to visit a friend and former
patient, a resident of Portsmouth, Eng¬
land. It is not often that a medical
man gets a holiday, and but for the
kindness of a fellow-practitioner, in
taking my practice for a fortnight, I
should not have had this opportunity of
enjoying the sea breeze.
The train by which I started was an
early one, and, having procured my
ticket, took my place iu a second-class
carriage, and lit my cigar, for it was a
smoking carriage. O.i entering it I was
surprised, and I think, naturally so—
to find the further corner of it occupied
by a lady.
“Oho!’’said I. inwardly, “some Am¬
erican demoiselle who desire) to indulge
in a cigarette.”
On observation, however, it appeared
to me that the features of my fellow
traveler did not bear upon them that
impression of cuteness which marks
American nationality. She had soft
brown eyes, a full, Tound face, and a
profusion of chestnut hair. She was
dressed in a plain traveling suit, bound
with white braid, and wore a straw hat.
“Maybe, a German, I soliloquizod
“they are terrible smokers.”
But again it occurred to me that pos¬
sibly the young lady might be neither
American nor German, but had got into
the carriage without noticing that it
was one reserved for the use of smok¬
ers. Under this impression I bowed
slightly to her, saying:
11 I fear my cigar may annoy you!
Perhaps you are not aware that this is
a smoking compartment?”
“Oh, yes," she answered, with a
slight Gorman accent, “yes, yes, yes,
yes I"
There was something peculiar ia her
slow, deliberate utterance and the four
times repeated monosyllable. A dreamy
look, too, in the speakei’s eyes, as if
her mind was preoccupied, However
the train was now in motion, and I had
nothing for it but to ensconce myself in
my corner, look out of the window,
and take a bird’s eye view of the sur¬
rounding houie-tops. enough;
For a short time this wa3 well
but I began at la9t to weary of tho mo
rotony of such, an amusement. IV e
Englishmen, as a rule, are so reserved
and unsociable that we shrink into our
selves, and every fresh addition to the
occupants of a railway carriage or an
omnibus is received with black looks
and sort of a tacit intimation that ha
a free
has no right to enter, Now, I am
to confess that, whatever my fai.ings,
want of sociability is not one of them;
and I determined to try to engage my
companion in a little conversation.
There could bo no impropriety in a man be¬
of my ago (I was 38) endeavoring to
guile the tedium of a lazy journey y
conversing with a fellow-traveler a
school-girl—and certainly not out of
her teens. It was, therefore, with an
almost paternal feeling that I addressed
her. passengers . y
“There are not many
this train," I remarked.
thousand and three, ^
“Two startled my
answer, that not a little
TlSt the speaker smile expecting dancing m to
find a mischievous of
her lurkiDg at the corners
eyes or sort, She
her mouth. Nothing of the
perfectly serious, even stern,
was dreamy, fa
her eyes had still the same
away look in them. els in
absonted-minded, or e
“Very myself. However, I
love, I thought to
tried again. shall have a fine day
“I think we ventured to remark.
for our journey, I
COVINGTO N. GEORGIA. TUESD
She turned upon mo with that fierce,'
despairing, yet restless look that we see
in a trapped rat.
‘‘How you talk, talk, talk I" she said
indignantly.
“But—"
Are you mad?" she scresmed in
tone of such intensified shrillness and
with such an awful, hungry look in her
eyo that the truth flashed upon mo liko
an inspiration.
Sho was mad 1
Medical man as I am, a feeling of hor¬
ror overcame me when I reflected that I
was shut up alone in tho carriage of a
train, traveling at express speed, with
_
lunatic. True, I was a strong man, sho
only a girl. But it is inconceivable
what extreme strength is possessed by
many of the insane. I have known a
woman thus afflicted to require two,and
even three powerful men to restrain her
during one of her paroxysms.
However, I endeavored to keep as
cool as possible, as I looked the young
girl steadily in the face. She looked at
me for a moment or so without quail¬
ing; then she sank back in her corner,
resumed her apathetic posture, and sat
gazing out of the window, with the far¬
away look in her eyes, as if no such per¬
son as myself was in existence.
“Poor girl!" I thought; and I began
to wonder who or what sho could be,
and how she came to be traveling alone.
Could she have escaped from an asy¬
lum. If so, how came she to be pos¬
sessed of sufficient funds to procure a
railway ticket?
I had some experience in “mad cases,”
and I knew that tho most outrageous
ones are those where the patient main¬
tains an even sullenness of demeanor
The girl’s case did not seem to me to
be one of thorn. On the contrary, her
sudden change of mood when I angered
her seemed to indicate it to be a case of
temporary aberration of mind, and con¬
sequently a curable one.
I looked at my watch. In a quarter
of an hour we should be at Basingstoke.
I was in the very act of returning my
watch to my pocket, when my com¬
panion, with a mocking laugh—the pe¬
culiarly metallic ring of which it is
quite impossible to describe—literally
hurled herself upon me with overwhelm¬
ing force, broke tho watch from its
chain, and sent it spinning through tho
window. In another second she wa3
endeavoring to force herself also through
tho window.
Then commenced a terriblo struggle,
of which I even yet shu Ider to think.
My muscles were strained to their ut¬
most limit of tension, tho perspiration
poured down my face, and my arms felt
as if about to be wrenched from their
sockets. And all this to restrain one of
the sex commonly called the “weaker”
from self-destruction.
All this time the poor girl uttered no
sound that could give warning to the
guard or our fellow passengers of the
terriblo struggle for life or death that
was going on within a few yards of
them. As for my own voice, the extra
ordinary physical effort I was making
to restrain the would-be suicide entire¬
ly prevented my making the slightest
uso of it. But just as my powers were
failing me, and I felt that I could no
longer prolong tho struggle, tho train
began perceptibly to slacken speed.
it Thank Heaven 1 Basingstoke at
last.
What followed is easy to relato. Of
course, assistance was at hand, and the
unfortunate young lady was removed to
a place of safety. From, letters which
we found on her, and some articles of
jewelry, which we ad ver'tsed, we speed¬
ily discovered her friends. Naturally I,
a a medical man, would not lose sight
of her till I had discovered them.
The patient proved to bo a member
of a German family, naturalized in Eng¬
land, who was subject to periodical at¬
tacks of mental aberration, but had
cever actually been in tho asylum.
During the attacks, which invariably
came on without any warnin n* • r so that
it was difficult to watch her, she was
seized with a restlesi desire to wander
over the country, and, it appeared, had
merely selected the Southwestern line
because it happened to be tLo nearest
to her own home.
She had been so long without an at.
tack that her mothers and sisters had on
the previous night ventured to go to an
evening party leaving Lotta fast asleep
in bed at home. During tbeir absence
she eluded the vigilance of the servants
got up and dressed herself, walked
about for some time, and took a ticket
for the early Portsmouth mail—at least,
that was what she imagined and told us
on her recovery. Her memory,however,
was very imperfect, but the poor child
must certainly have walked aDout tho
streets for soma time prior to the depar¬
ture of the express.
It was natural that under the circum
stances—I have already stated that 1
had had considerable experience in such
cases —her friends should a3k me to en¬
deavor to effect a cure.
I undertook it and entirely succeed¬
ed. And also I undertook and succeed¬
ed in something else.
It is my wife who is looking over my
shoulder as I write, and who says:
st My dear, the maddest act of all my
life was when—’’
But here I stop.
MAKING STRAW HATS
An Industry that has Attained
Immense Proportions
Crude Foreign Processes and
Skilful American Methods.
Tho manufacture of straw hats, though
aot peculiarly American, says the Now
York Commercial Advertiser, has at¬
tained immense proportions in this
country. Over in Brooklyn, in sr me of
the quiet streets betwoon the city hall
district and Broadway, aro a number of
straw hat manufactories, some of which
give employment to more than 200
hands, besides a lot of the most ingen¬
ious and skilfully devised machinery.
Most of this machinery is of American
invention. With it tea times more
work can be turned out by the skilled
operative thau by tha old hand process,
and yet better wages made at less
labor.
The straw hat of civilization is nearly
a century old, and its manufacture was
not begun in Brooklyn to any extent
until about eleven years ago. The raw
material is all imported, and, in fact,
reaches the manufacturer here in a con¬
siderably advanced stage of preparation.
It comes from China, Japan and South¬
ern Europe chiefly. Years ago, when
straw goods brought higher price 1 ,
braids woven with Tuscan straw and
that from Bohemia and Switzerland,
were exclusively used,but they are now
employed only for the finest grades.
The cheaper qualities for tho masses,
such as the “Mackinaws,” are almost
entirely made with the straw braid im¬
ported from China. This was found to
be less expensive than any other, be¬
cause the cost of living among the pro¬
ducers amounts to almost nothing. The
Leghorn hat is made entirely in Italy,
and ouly the finishing is dono in this
country. Chip and Panama hats,
although sold under the general de¬
nomination of straws, aro made in
fact from entirely different ma¬
terial. The chip is so called because
made from the splints of the Lombardy
poplar, out of which the sap has been
dried by burial in the ground for three
years—a precaution taken to prevent it
from turning red whi ; Jh happens when
dried in tho air. Tho Panama is
made from the immaturo leaves of a
palm tree indigenous to South America.
The district of China where straw
braid is mado lies in tho region of
Canton and many millions of people are
employed in its production. Living
principally on fruits, which tho soil of
that country naturally yields, and with,
no inclination to do more profitable
work, it is often the only occupation
that all the members of tho family en
gago in. The average wages earned
are a penny a day. When tho species
or grass or wheat used for making tho
straw has attained its full height, and
before it is quite ripe, it is cut down,
left on the ground and allowed to
bleach in the tun. Thi3 process
being completed, the stalks aro
bound in sheaves about a foot in cir¬
cumference and then drawn out as
wanted. After severing them at tho
joints into strips four or five inches in
length, they are put into a kind of a
sieve and sorted in equal siz;s. Those
at the top being finer, havo a greater
value than the lower or coarser ones.
These pieces are in turn separated and
tied into bundles of convenient size.
Those of good color aro laid aside for
bleaching, while those spotted or dis¬
colored are dyed and used with the
bleached to mako variegated braids.
Tho solid colors aro all dyed in America
to suit tho leading fashion. Tho bleach¬
ing is done by inclosing tho stalks in a
box with burning brimstone. Tho
plaiting, next in order, is dono mostly
by women and girls, whilo the straw is
in a damp state, and after the braids are
pressed fl it they aro put in rolls of 60
yards, packed in bales and ready for ex¬
portation. Encouraged by their gov¬
ernment, the Japanese, with their char¬
acteristic energy, havo recently begun
this industry.
When the rolls reach the manufac¬
turer in this country, tho braids are
slightly moistened and then sewn to¬
gether, beginning at the crown and
working round until the whole is fin¬
ished. On tho top floor of the straw
works are the sulphur rooms, where
some of tho hats are bleached. It is
found that nature or science has pro¬
vided nothing so powerful in this re¬
gard as tha sun, and all tho sulphur
baths and other processes of bleaching
are not comparable with a sun bath.
Ladies often feel disappointed bocause
their straw hats turn yellow, bat this is
the natural result of sulphur-bleached
goods. Such thing never happens
after sun bleaching. II hen practicable
and tho weather permits this latter pro¬
cess is used at all the works, and on a
fine day rows of hats may be seen on the
roof undergoing whitening by tho oper¬
ations of the sun's rays. After being
dipped in French giuo they are placed
in a drying room, where tho tempera¬
ture is about 115 degrees and where the
moisture is extracted by means of large
rapidly revolving fans, driven at high
speed. This leaves the hat in a very
pliable condition.
The blocking process is next in order.
Looking at a numbered tag which has
been previously sewed iaside, the work¬
man places the hat on the proper steam
heated sectional expanding metal block
and presses it into the required size and
shape. This blocking machine was in¬
vented at the straw works. Tho hat is
then placed on solid metal dies corre¬
sponding in size to the blocks above
mentioned, and subjected to a power¬
ful hydraulic pressure, which gives it
its proper form. If for men and boys,
the sweatband is then sewed in, and
raeanwhilo the lace tip for tho inte¬
rior of the crown is prepared by an
ingenious machine which has an attach¬
ment for cutting it tho cxict shape and
size, as well as for sowing. Putting on
tho band, the only process requiring
handiwork in the making ot these
goods, is tho last operation, and tho hat
is finished ready for boxing and ship¬
ment.
Emperor Frederick's Banker,
Ia 1770 Rev. Moritz Speycrs was at
tho head of a band of Lutherans in
Dessau, and by frugal living bad man¬
aged to save up considerable money; all
of which was in silver coin. The Rev.
Moritz Speyers was unlike a great many
modern preachers, in that ho helped his
flock m ho helped himself.
Living at the time in circumstances
so humble that they were nearer poverty
than comfort, was ayoung couple named
Cohn. They had not been married
long, and tho young husband had lost all
ho had. Still he worked and worked,
and finally he and his wife made enough
to live comfortably. Young Cohn was
naturally sharp and shrewd, and was
always looking out for a chance to in¬
crease his few coins. The chance pre¬
sented itself. AU ho needed was $2,000
worth of German money, and he said
his fortuno would bo made. Ho wou d
be wealthy; but a poor man, unknown
and comparatively friendless, had but
little chance of raising $3,000.
He had one hope, das pastor, and
straightway he called on tho Rev. Mo¬
ritz Speyers, Would lie lend a poor
man, without any security, $2000? ne
would, certainly, but Herr Cohn must
come with his wife and take it away.
The next day Cohn and his wife came
with a handcart and took tho silver.
They wero safe bscauso they lived in
Dessau, and Dassau had no aldermen
then. That was Cohn’s opportunity
and ho prospered. Ten years later ho
repaid the loan with interest. Still ho
prospered until he was appointed bank¬
er for a district, then for a duke, and
then kings, aid finally tho late Emperor
William gavo into his keeping all the
royal treasure. When he died, hisson,
tho present baron, took his place.
Mr. Albert G. P. Speyers, a broker
of Exchange place, is a grandson of tho
Rev. Moritz Speyers, of Dessau, and
when he went to Berlin a few years ago
the papers announced his arrival.
Shortly after Baron Cohn called on him,
in full court dress, and thanked him
for tho great kindness his grandfather
had shown to the baron’s father.—[New
York World.
Feeding Cows in Finland.
To any ono who could be satisfied
with an unvarying diet of fish and black
bread, accompanied by the best cream
and butter that can be found anywhere,
it would bo easy to satisfy his wants in
any part of tho country. How the
cream and butter come to bo so good is
a mystery to me, for assuredly tho Fin¬
nish cows are the worst and most scan¬
tily fed of their kind. What other cow
that respected herself would bo satisfied
with hay soup in which tho water
formed so unfair a proportion to tho
hay? Tho most meagre-looking hay,
mixed with the dried branches of alder,
simmers in a hugo iron pot, and one
see3 the poor beasts dipping their nosos
into the unsavory broth and fishing out
its sodden contents with tho evident
relish of hunger. It was complainoc
to me by a resident in tho country tha
cows coulcf not be induced to look
upon sawdust as the staple of their food.
How far he had seriously made the trial
I do not know, but should ho ever suc¬
ceed, there will be a rich prospect for
Finland in dairy farming.—-[Murray’s
Magazine.
Painting Baby’s Face.
A letter from Paris informs us that
the doctors are again at war with silly
mothers belonging to the fashionable
circles. The latest fanaticism of La
Mode is to app'y the horrors of facc
painting to little children. In tho pub¬
lic gardens babies of three years old
may now bo seen whose eyebrows havo
been blacked or dyed by their senseless
mothers. Other anxious parents, dis¬
tressed at the vulgarly ruddy and rustic
huo of their children’s cheeks, carefully
powder them before sending them forth
to meet tho gaze and criticism of tho
world. Little coquettes of ten years
aro not permitted to go abroad until the
regulation black stroke has been paint¬
ed beneath their eyes. The doctors
warn the mothers that when tho chil¬
dren thus barbarously treated reach tho
ago of sixteen they will have a colorless
and ruined complexion, to say nothing
of the injury to health, which is an ar¬
gument less likely to produce much
effect.—[Pall Mall Gazette.
VOL. XIV. no; 37.
SCIENTIFIC SCRAPS.
Instantanoous photography by the
magnesium flash has been applied to a
study of the pupil of tho eye as it rests
in total darkness.
According to Richard A. Proctor,
the scientist, there are twenty-six milos
of sweat tubes in the body of an ordi
nary man, and an average theatre audi¬
ence perspires a ton of water every
hour.
Pref. Loclerc, writing in Cosmos,
maintains that odors are due, not to tha
emanations, as such, of so-called odor¬
iferous bodies, but to the vibratory
movement among such emanations, due
to processes of oxidation. Scent, on
this theory, is analogous to sound.
Tho latest medical theory is that
there should bo only two really sub¬
stantial meals a day, braakfast and din¬
ner. A solid and highly nutritious
mqal should end it. The people who
taka a rapidly oaten lunch are apparent¬
ly excused for their supposed unhy¬
gienic proceeding.
There are already about 10,000 elec
trie motors in use in the United States.
They are used for running sewing ma
chines, printing presses, ventilating
fans, dental instruments, street cars, for
coal and ore haulage in mines, for
pumping water, washing bottles, and
for many miscellaneous purposes in m>
chine shops, shoe factories, book bind¬
eries, knitting works, etc.
M. Fayo, the astronomer, has drawn
tho attention of tho French Academy of
Sciences to the apparent geological law
that tho cooling of tho tcrrostrial crust
goes on moro rapidly under the sea than
on the land surface. From this he ar¬
gues that the crust must thicken under
oceans at a more rapid rato, so as to
give rise to a swelling up and distortion
of the thinner portions of the crust; iu
other words, to tho formation of moun¬
tain chains.
Both in China and Japan, soapstone
has long been largely used for pro¬
tecting structures built of soft stone and
other materials specially liable to atmos¬
pheric influences. It has been found
that powdered soapstone in tho form
of paint has preserved obelisks formed
of stone for hundreds of years which
would, crumbled unprotected, away. For Alia have inside long paint¬ ago j
ing of steel and iron ships it is found to
bo excellent. It has no anti-fouling
quality but is anti-corrcsivc.
By means of a bath consisting of 300
grains of acetate of load, 600 grains of
hyposulphite of soda and ono quart of
water, it is said that eleven different
colors may bo imparted to well-cleaned
copper, and eight to nickel-platel ob¬
jects. After tho salts aro dissolved,
tho solution is heated to boiling, and
tho metal is afterward immorsed there¬
in. At first a gray color is obtained,
and this, on tha immersions being con¬
tinued, passes successively to violet,
maroon, red, etc., and finally to blue.
Mr. John Aitken, a well-known in¬
vestigator of the atmosphere, has re¬
cently mado a series of experiments on
the number of dust particles in ordinary
air. Qo far his results show that out¬
side air, after a wet night, contained
521.000 dust particles per cubic inch;
outside air in fair weather contained
2.119.000 particles in tho same space,
showing that rain is a great purifier of
the atmosphere. Tho air of a room was
found to contain 30,318,000 particles in
the same space; that near the ceiling
containing 88,846,000 particles per cu
bic inch.
Quicksand is composed chiefly ot
small particles of mica mixed largely
with water, Tho mica is so smooth
that tho fragments slip upon each other
with tho greatest facility, so that any
heavy body which displaces them will
sink and continue to sink until a solid
bottom is reached. When particles of
sand are jagged and angular any weight
pressing on them will crowd them to¬
gether until they are compacted into a
solid mass, A sand composed of mica
or soapstone, when sufficiently mixed
with water, seems incapable of such
consolidation.
Tho electric lighting of the Winter
Palace at St. Petersburg, Russia,appears
to havo given rise to some unexpected
and undesirable results. According to
the electrician, tho sudden change from
the sunless days of the northern winter
to tho blinding light of the banqueting
halls, aided probably by the artificially
heated and drier atmosphere of the
rooms causes the leaves of the plants
used as ornaments to turn yellow, dry
up and fall off after being exposed to
the light for a single night. The rapid
ity of the injurious action and its
amount is in direct proportion to the in¬
tensity of the illumination, sinco plants
partially shaded from tho light, or in
niches or similar places, were found to
remain uninjured.
A Spider Kills a Bird.
Johnnie Appleby of Pendergrass, Ga.,
saw a cat-lird dart down for some
thing, flutter and fall apparently life
less. The boy found the bird nearly
dead, pinioned by a black spider. The
insect had seized it by tho tongue as it
desconded and bitten the end off. The
bird died in five minutes from the
spider bite.—[Cincinnati Enquirer.
That Night.
You and I, and that night, with ita perform
and glory!—
The scent of the locusts—the light of the
moon;
And Ihe violins weaving tho waltzers a story,
Enmeshing their feet in the weft of the
tune,
Till their shadows uncertain
Reeled round on the curtain,
While under the trellis we drank in tho
J uo.e.
Soakeil through with the midnight the cedars
were sleeping,
Their shadowy tresses outlined in the
bright
Crystal, moon-smitten mists, where tho foun¬
tain’s hoa-'t, leaping
Forever,
Forever, forever hurst, full with delight;
And its lisp on my spirit
Fell faint as that near it
Whoso love like a lily bloomed out in the
night
Oh, your glove was an odorous sachet of
blissed
Tho hr -ath of your fan was a br eeze of
Cathay!
And the rose at your throat was a nest ot
spilled kisiesl
And tho music— in fancy, I hear it today,
A) I sit here, confessing
Our secret, and blessing
*y rival woo found us, and waltzed yon
away. —[James Whitcomb Riley.
HUMOROUS.
Many an English dude possesses
sterling worth.
A dentist when he gets down to busi¬
ness, has the inside track.
Fly time and tho baso ball season are
very properiy contemporaneous.
Figures on tho corset production
properiy come under tho head of stay
tiitics.
A trust company ha3 hoard of Milk
River, Montana, and wants to skim and
fenca it ia.
AVhy is a bullock a very obedient ani¬
mal? B mouse he will lie down when
you axe him.
Why is a person asking questions the
strangest of all individuals? Because
he’s the querist.
Men aro liko sheep: the older they
are tho mo to difficult it is to pull tho
wool over their eyes.
When William to the grand stand went,
His voico was sweet, of course;
When William fi om the grand stand came
His voice was low and hoarse.
By tho way, isn’t it rather rough on
the high contracti ig parties to remark
that a wedding weut off “without a
hitch?”
The man who tried to get up a con¬
cert with tho band of a hat, is the same
genius who, a few days since, played
upon the affections of a young lady.
"Come hither, my Jane, see, my picture is
. here,
Do you like it, my love? ‘Don’t it strike
you?”
“I can’t say it does at present, my dear,
But 1 dare say it will—it’s so like you.”
‘‘Isee your new twousers bag at tho
kreos alweady Cholly.” “Ya’as,” re¬
sponded Cholley, bitterly, “it all hap*
pened last night; and bah Jove, Fwed, J
sho couldn't havo me after alL"
Venice guide (to tourist): You will
want to seo tho Lion of St. Mark?
Tourist: No; the only mark I want to
see is tho high water mark. I’m from
Cincinnati myself, and I know some¬
thing about floods.
An Imprisoned Congregation.
Some years ago the pastor of a church
in a rural district of Missouri shepherd¬
ed a flock some members of which
wero in the habit of leaving the house
whilo he was yet in tho middle of a
discourse. This was an eyesore to the
visiting incumbent, and when one day
a reverend brother volunteered to
preach for him ho felt called upon to
speak of the annoyance.
“Oh, I’ll stop that,” was the reply.
‘•I’ll warrant you that no one leaves
until I'm done.' Accordingly, when
he arose to speak ho introduced his ser
mon with the following:
“My friends, before I begin my ser
mon I wish to mako a few not irrever
ant remarks. You all know that a
vessel when full is full, and that to con¬
tinue (o pour into it is folly. Some vessels
are capable of holding a great deal,
while others, again, are easily filled.
So it is with men’s heads, and it is
possiblo that some of y ours may be
come full before I’m through. If so, I
wan t you to feel at perfect liberty to
leave. ’ ?
Tho sermon lasted an hour and a
quarter, but not a mortal stirred!
“Do you know,’’ said a young man
afterwards, “I had a team of restless
young horses outside, but I wouldn’t
have gone out to look after them for
$ 100 !"—[Detroit Free Press.
A Prize For Jaw-Breakers.
There were 450 competitors for tho
prize offered by an English journal for
the longest 12-word telegram, and the
winner put in the following, which was
j accepted by the telegraph officers for
transmission for sixpence, the regular
rate: “Administrator-General’s coun
ter-revolutionaxy inter-communications
uncircumstantiated Quartermaster-Gen
j eral's disproportionabloness character
istically contra -distinguished uncon
stitutionaliats’ incomprehensibilities. ii