Newspaper Page Text
I*nrtor Msgte.
PlMTtff ft I'IOMUA hill IK# IMVI **’ I
pensive ||i In-11* r, and Ik4*l II up so I
that Ttwr iwlmm* nan an* Itial II dove 1
not rsmlain nlli*r a saving* l>enk (V a
while whale. Yaw then |*w an *wJi- j
Barr hmarat lamp* i'Nto*>i* tin *had*i j
an*l‘ light the aidt Y< are now ready. I
I*aaa the hal flaw or six tunc* ow the I
light, or nnlil it ua oaMplete bias*-, then
quickly placing the Min a In**, into
whieh jrnw hare ptevioualy l*| wiled
tww pounds of ooainiou gunpowder—the
hal an*) l*o* will instantly disappear.
Tbia trick never fail* to aatoniah.
A very amusing, although exciting
trick, ia to eauae a |>onon in the audience
to atari from hia aeat without the aid of
marhincrr, l>ent pin*, or the pUciug of
hand*. This feat requires a little pre
paration during the day, aa will be men.
You open a Ixx.k and jgeteud to rea*l as
if from ita oontenta, and immediately a
young lady in the audience will start to
ward you with a shriek, and if you are
wise you will hare a rear window often,
through which yon can paaa. The
secret of the trick consists in yonr read
ing a purloined letter of your sister's
from her lorer.
Lay a wager with some gentleman in
front of you that ho can not walk to
within three feet of you without pausing
and throwing track his head, assuring
him that the floor will not Ire obstructed
ft any manner. This trick never fails,
and its success depends upon haring a
well-waxed thread streeheil across the
room at the height of the gentleman's
throat. Do not attempt this with your
father.
A good conclusion to an evening's en
tertainment of this kind is called “Dis
aolving Feat,” in which you turn out the
gas for sixty seconds, and on lighting it
the room will Ire vacated of all but your
self. The moment the gas is turned out
you produce from a hermetically sealed
box about a pound of Limlrerger cheese.
The effect is wonderful, especially if the
evening Ire very warm.
If yon are not a ventriloquist you can,
nevertheless, mako your friends believe
you are. Before the audience assembles
plsoe your little brother under a barrel,
having, of course, first instructed him
as to the replies he should make to yonr
questions. At the proper time you walk
up to the barrel, and, giving it a sharp
rap with yonr knuckles, say: “Aro you
there, sir?” The reply comes, “No, I
am somewhere else 1" Then you hold an
animated conversation with a supposed
(?) person, in which many of your family
secrets aro divulged, and when at tho
close yon inform your audienco that you
will imitate a drowning person and iionr
a pail of water through a hole in tho head
of a barrel, all are wonderfully amused
except your brother, who will be madder
than a hatter.
A Practical Joke on the Wrong Party.
Mr. Wagon was tho victim. His son
Johnny is a mischievous lad, and oue
diy resolved to play a trick on hia broth
er. Ho arranged certain attachments to
that brother's bod, worked by cords run
ning to his own room, and then went off
fishing. While ho was gone, his brother
was sent away to be absent over night,
and a lot of ’ company arrived at the
house. Mr. Wagon gave tip ltis own
room to them and occupied the absent
sou’s bed. Johnny got home late at
night, and wholly ignorant of this
change of arrangements, went to liis
room, which was next to his mother's,
and prepared to perpetrate liis designs
upon his brother.
Tho first proceeding waa a haul on a
cord which rnn between the blankets and
spread on hia brother's bed, and, lieing
fastened at would pull the
clothes off the ■ bed. Mr. Wagon was
comfortably tacked in, when suddenly
tho clothes' began to slip, and he found
himself uncovered. Ho thought he
might have kicked them off, ami sat up
and took hold of the clothes to pull them
hack. Meanwhile, Johnny had yaitked
another cord which pulled the pillow off
the bed. Mr. Wagon discovered his loss
and reached for the pillow, and when he
got it, the clothes went off again. He
whs much excited at that, nnd again
went after the clothes and again lost his
pillow.
That time the pillow went under the
l>ed and Mr. Wagon went after it, and
immediately came out again and swore
prodigiously, for the floor was strewn
with chestnut burrs, ami he had gotten
into them. He resolved to scold the
chambermaid for leaving so many pins
on the floor. Once more he attempt to
get the pillow, and, as it was way under,
lie made a frantic divo for it, nml just
then Johnny, who was slinking with
laughter, pulled the lost cord aud tho
whole bed came down upon Mr. Wagon
and jammed him upon the burrs.
His frantic howls brought his wife and
friends to the rescue, ami ho was fished
out. And then the gas was lighted and
somebody discovered the cords running
to Johnny's room. Mr. Wagon at onoe
hastened there. The lad explained that
he thought his brother was in tho bed,
but it didn't make any difference. His
yells were mistaken by a man Bleeping
half a mile away for a cry of fire, aud he
jumped out of bed so hard that he
sprained a toe. And the next day when
Johnny went to school he got Bpauked
again because he wouldn't sit down, and
is now resolved to run away from home
the first chance he can get, as this part
of the country is a mighty discouraging
region for a boy.— Exchange*
A Queer Roman Custom.
There is another custom which is ob
served bv all trua Romans, namely, the
eating of largs beans on the 2d ot No
vember. The origin ot this custom is
not known; but it is thought that in olden
times the dead were honored in May
instead of November and that, as beans
were then in season, they formed part of
the feast. Now, however, dried beans
have to be eaten, and as everyone does
not like that food, the church allows imi
tation beana. These are made of sugar
and pis try, made up in the shape of and
called dead men's bones. The very
name is sufficient to deter many from
partaking of this pastry, though it is
said to be delicious, but the sight of a
human bone, even when being eaten by
the prettiest of mouths, is not pleasant.
The custom of placing these death-banes
on dining-tables had the same origin ss
that of introducing skeletons at festivals
to remind the guests that all were mor
tal and that it was best to enjoy life
whilst they could.
Brutal Conduct of a Husband.
A fashionable Galveston woman wanted
to impress her has band with her house
keeping abilities; so, w hen the oook left,
she went down into the kitchen and
cooked breakfast, and she made an awful
mess of it They sat down to the table,
and her husband noticed that she had a
rag on her finger, no he asked what was
the matter.
“I burned it while frying the steak,"
she replied.
“Well, any woman who would put
such a breakfast as this on the table
ought to be burned at the stake,” re
plied the brute.
Mif to • IMener-Perty.
“How, we haven't gut much time to
get ready, my dear, ' * iigsmt* and Mr.
Hpiaqumnyke, cliernly, “and I won't be
late at a dinner-party. I want you to
fix up so aa to la* the Imt lunkinf woman
at Uie tahln. You ran get ready ia an
hour, can't you?"
"I think I can,” replied Mr* Hpoopen
dyke, with a titter. “O yea, I can iliwm
in that time, and I h*>|- yon won't In
dn>a|>point<-d in me,” ami the little wo
man began to take down her l*ark hair.
“You might get my sharing tackle
forme," said Mr. H|*oo|M-n*lyke, appro
priating the only mirror. “Ami now I
think of it,” lie continued, lifter a pause,
“my dress omit noils a button. Sew it
on. won't von?"
Mr*. H|xx>|x-iidvke lugged out the
Coat, and litint*sl through a broken-down
old Img after a button that would do.
“(lot that button aewed oil yet?" in
quired Mr. S|x>o|ieiidyke, lathering a way
comfortably.
“In a minute, my dear," nepooded
his w ife.
“Well, hurry up; I want yon to put
these studs and sleeve-buttons into my
clean shirt."
. Mrs. Bpoopei lyke gradually got
around to those offices, and laid out the
habiliment in readiness for her lord.
“Did you take those stitches in my
gloves?” inquired Mr. Bpoopendyke.
“O yes, certainly,” replied Mrs.
Spoojiendyke, going right to work at it.
“Well, then, yon can brush my vest
and pantaloons, and by that time I'll be
ready to have you tie inv cravat."
A few moments more found Mr. Bpoo
pendyke arrayed completely.
“Oome, you ready? - ’ ho demanded,
having assured himself that his wife had
not accomplished a single step toward
her toilet.
“Not quite, dear," responded the lady,
with one-half her lmir in her mouth ami
the other half crackling under the brush.
“What’s the matter with you?" lie
asked. “Didn’t yon say you could get
ready in an hour? Didn't you hear me
tell you when I came in that we only
hail an hour to dress in ? Whnt have
yon lioen doing? Why can't you go as
you are? You look well enough.”
"I was busy fixing your things,”
faltered Mrs. Bpixqieiidykc, “anil I
couldn't do two things at onoe.”
“O no! You can't do anything at
once. Why didn’t you liavo my things
fixed this nionfing? Why don’t you
keep lioitso somehow? That dress
you’ve got on. is good enough. Why
can't you go in that dross? If you’ve
got to put on all the frills you won't be
reaily till next fall. Ain’t you most
really now? Think I’m going to stand
around lioro like a jug of mineral water?”
Mrs. Spoopendyko twisted up her lisir
and jammed in the pins. Then she put
on lier list and twitched it first to one
side and thou the other; put one hand
up behind and blioved it forward, and
then caught hold of it in front and pulled
it dowm.
“Well, if yon'ro ready, let’B start,”
growled Mr. Bpoopendyke. “You've
lioeu long enough for a telegraph wire,
now. Oorao on."
“Oil! 1 haven't got my dress on yot,”
pleaded Mrs. Bpoopendyke. “I'll bo
through in a minute."
“Dod past the ilrcasl” ejaculated Mr.
Bpoopendyke. “Where's my paper?
Give me my paper and I’ll read for a
month or two. Von won’t bo ready till
spring. Where’s that papor?”
"Take a Ixxik, denr,” recommomled
Mrs. Bpoopeudyke, blushing deeply and
glancing around nervously.
“I don’t want any measly book.” re
torted Mr. B]>oopendyke. “I want the
morning paper. Find that paper the
first thing yofl do, and then you get
reaily in four seconds, ”
"i think you’ll find the paper behind
--behind the book-case,” said Mrs.
Bpoopeudyke, ns ml as a brick, anil she
hustled into her skirt, anil began clawing
at it behind in an effort to loop it up
straight. “I'm almost reaily,” she gig
gled hysterically, as she drew on the
waist and buttoned it up nervously.
“I'll lie ready before you could turn the
paper inside out,” and slio snatched a
ribbon from the drawer, tied it in a bow.
pinned it at lier throat, and backed away
from the glass to see how it looked.
“I want to know whether you’re going
to find that dod gas till pnjicr for mol”
thundered Mr. Spoopendyko.
“I'm all right except my cloak,”
jerked out Mrs. Bpoopendyke. “If
you’ll hand me my cloak, we’ll start
right away. It’s in the closet there.”
And Mrs. Spoopendyko flopped down on
the floor and began putting on her shoes.
“S'lHise I’m going to hunt around for
that measly cloak?” howled Mr. Hpoopon
dyke. “Can’t you get your things for
yourself? 1 want my paper, aud I want
it now.”
"1 can tell yon what wns in it,” said
Mrs. Bpoopendyke. “I can tell von all
about it while I dress,” and she looked
up at him piteously with her faoe all
flushed.
“No doubt,” retorted Mr. Spoopen
dyke. “You know all about it All you
waut is a can of oil and ten men swear
ing at you all day to be a printing press.
When are you going—”
“Now, Vm all reaily, dear,” smiled
Mrs. Bpoopendyke, who wasn't anything
of tho sort "You won’t need to read
now, for we’re going.”
They started off together, arm in arm,
Mr. Bpoopendyke growling and his wife
hitching at her various garments as thev
went along.
“Another time we’re going out to din
ner, you lie reaily the day before, you
hear? demanded Mr. Spoopendyke.
"Yes, dear,” responded liis wife, and
then she thought to herself, “I’m very
glad he didn’t insist on looking for that
paper. ” —Brooklyn Eagle.
Short Stories.
Mr. Hale is right Tho people do like
to rend, and therefore do read—if that
doesn’t follow without the saying short
stories, as he boldly avers iii the preface
to liis last volume of tales. But they
like them to be good. What is s good
short story? There are plainly several
answers to this question, depending upon
the classes of readers by whom they are
given. But let us consider the stories
good enough in their thought, purpose,
style and literary workmanship to com
mand a place in the best monthly maga
zines, and in weekly journals that strive
to maintain a high standard. In the
first plaoe, a story of this grade must
have the readable quality in a degree
that will cany seventy-fly* per cent* or
more of the patrons oi the magazine or
journal through it, in a maimer to inter
est and to please them. An editor fit
for his place commonly looks out for D*i
by an instinct which authors may quar
rel with, but which is better far the pub
lisher’s-purse and the reader’s satisfac
tion than the opinion of “ten men who
can render a reason.”— Golden Pule.
Mrs. Long of Baltimore, lately a rich
widow, is insane on the subject of relig
ion only and is s street preacher. In
place of a hymn, her irreverent congre
gation sang, lately:
“ *• *un but Utils her* below,
Kor wasu that little LuDf.”
An OM Met
Aa lalsrsating glimpse into nor early
history is afforded by an old worm eaten
gasatear which waa found lately ia a
private library.
It wee issued in the find at thia cen
tury, by J. Bain, at Baltimore. Geo
graphical information is oddly min
sw with scientific facta, and J.
Main's vehement opinions concerning the
British, and the (then; “late war" with
them, obtrude in every page. Those
“ruthless invaders," ha assures ns, “ex
hibited a barbanc cruelty unaoualed
since the davs of the Haraoene and Van
dale.”
l*hiiadelpliin was then “the metropolis
of *** country.” Washington could
“boast of four chnrches, a gaol and
a hoteL” Boston had twenty-three
churches It had, also, “a fine row of
warehouses on the north side of the pier,
and a handsome street running from the
pier to the town-house."
The Eldorado for emigrauta was “The
Ohio," which was then the far West
Long lines of high, canvas-covered
wagons took their way over the Alle
ghany Monntaina, drawn by eight horsee,
each usually deooratod with an array of
bells; the wife, children, chairs, plow,
anil a feather-lied were piled np in the
wagon; underneath it ran the watch-dog;
tho father aud oldest boy walked along
side, with their rifles slung on their
backs.
The journey occupied two months or
more, which the emigrant of the present
makes in twenty-four hours. When the
squatter was once settled, however, in
liis cabin, bis bill of fare was as luxuri
ous as that of a city gourmand nowadays.
Bear's meat, venison, pheasant, and wild
tnrkevs were the pieccs-de-resistance at
liis daily dinner, while wild honey,
golden tront, and partridges filled tfio
smaller dishes.
It is a usefal study to compare the
lives and privations of our ancestors who
conquored the grim forests of the New
World with our own ; the more useful be
cause we find that with all their struggles
they had, as a rule, more tranquil, slow
er, longer lives than onr own. This was
because they were not fevered bv the
modern thirst for riches and social dis
tinction which now maddens even the
poorest emigrant. Crops and clothes
enongh for the year to come, and a
wootis-preaching or a house-raising now
and then satisfied their desiros.
It was a poor, meager life, according
to our more civilized notions; but it Rad
in it a content which we have universally
lost ont of our own household furniture.
Youths’ Companion.
Divine Judgment for Sabbath Breaking.
Toward the end of tho sixteenth cent
ury, in England, "God’s judgments”
wore much in vogue. A Suffolk clergy
man, named Bownd, adduces many such
judgments. One was the ease of a no
bleman “who, for hunting on tho holy
day, wns punished by having a child
with n head like a dog’s.” Though he
cites this instance, Bownd, in the mat
ter of Sabbath oltservanco, was very
lenient toward nobleman. With court
ier-like pliancy, whioh is not without its
counterpart at the present time, he
makes an exoeption in their favor:
“Concerning the feasts of noblemen
and groat personages or their ordinary
diet upon this day, because they rep
resent in some measure the majesty of
God on the earth, in carrying the image,
as it were, of the magnificence and puis
sance of the Lord, much is to be grant
ed them.”
Tho civil war was regarded as a pun
ishment for Sunday desecration. Tho
fire of London; and a subsequent great
fire in Edinburgh were ascribed to this
cause, while the fishermen of Berwick
lost their trade through catching salmon
on Sunday. A drunken peddler. “fraught
with commodities" on Sunday, drops
into a river. One Utrieh Bcliruetorus, a
Swiss, while playing at dice on the
Lord’s day, lost heavily, anil apparently
to gain the devil to his side broke out in
to this horrid blasphemy: “If fortune
deceive me now I will thrust my dagger
into tlio body of God.” Whereupon he
threw the dagger upward. It disap
peared, and five drops of blood, whieh
afterward proved indelible, fell upon
the gaming-table. The devil then ap
peared, and, with a hideous noise, car
ried off the vile blasphemer. His two
companions fared no lietter. One was
Htruck dead and turned into worms, the
other was executed. —Popular Science
Monthly.
TmcRR is a sharp trader developing
among the Boston boys. A growing boj
the other dsy sold a companion two pairs
of brown pigeons as "dim tumblers.”
The purchaser watched the birds for a
week, and was disappointed in the
tumbling port of the programme. Bo lie
went to the bov who sold him the birds
and complained of having been cheated.
“Why," said tho seller, “they are just
what I warranted; they are done tumbl
ing, aud they won’t do it any more.”
[Atchinson Champion.]
No Benefit.
An Indiana newspaper thus writes:
Mr. Geo. F. Helderle, of Peru, Ind.,says
that he bad suffered very much with
rheumatism and used many remedies
without benefit. He found the desired
relief in St. Jacobs Oil.
A country girl at a fashionable hotel
is New Y’ork notioed that all the guests
used their forks only in eating their pie.
Upon her return home she reported the
foot to the old lady, who comforted her
by observing, “You shouldn't mind ’em,
Jemima; its all because they're too
tamel lazy to use their Ynivee.”
I Potts town Daily Ledger.]
A Michigan journal relates the follow
ing : Amos James, Esq., proprietor of
the Huron House, Port Huron, Mich.,
suffered so badly with Rheumatism that
he was unable to raise liis arm for three
months. Five bottles of St. Jacobs Oil
cured him entirely.
Ths new Warner observatory which is
being erected at Rochester is ’attracting
much attention in social and literary as
well as scientific circles. The new tele
scope will be 22 feet in length, and its
lens 16 inches in diameter, thus making
it third in size of any instrument hereto
fore manufactured, while the dome of the
observatory is to have some new appli
ances for specially observing certain por
tions of the heavens. It is to be the
finest private observatory in the world,
and has bean heavily endowed by Mr.
Warner. J
Two Organs.
Regulate first the stomach, second the
liver; especially the first, so as to perform
their functions jierfectiy and you will
remove at least nineteen’twentie’thsof all
the ills that mankind is heir to, in this
or any other climate. Hop Bitters is the
only thing that will give perfectly
healthy natural action to these two or
gans.—Maine Fanner.
A IM—l*4 S*ly
Does not always belong to an inebriate. Kid
ney troubles will cause bloat, but Warner's
Safe Kidney and Liver Cure has never failed to
remove it.
The twriitH frus.
The tmnrimtkm ia mwly ft |
nntmrtmmkii It m not mm*4 i
It depends u|x*i no afiectal legislaUou. '
Iml merely upon ita own <*|ntal and
niTtino Seven New Yivk daily new*,
paprn form its menil x-rship. The policy
at a journal may change while it still re
mains within th<* aaww-iatiim. The o*t
of obtaining the news is divided between
all the members. Ketee is furnished to
other papers as cnmxtomen. Local as- 1
soriations were eataUiahed in Boston,
Hartford and New Haven, and these
form the New England association, which
contracts for New York news. The
Western Press association holds a similar
|msition. The New Y’ork office is the |
clearing-house >4 the country. A flexible
method of adjusting prices is followed,
the strong helping the weak. It has i
nothing to do with special dinpatchee.
Eighteen or twenty-eight thousand words
are telegraphed daily. There is a system
of combination rejKirts in use. By a
single wire New York is put into instan
taneous connection with New Haven,
Hartford and Worcester, and the re|iort
are manifolded at all imints in the circuit,
“pony” reports lieing sent to the smaller
towns, lteceivers must read by sound.
All towns in circuit get their own
"locals” sent back to them, which is a
drawback, but the plan lessens the cost.
All New York Btate “locals” are sent
here to be distributed. Drop-copies of
Ban Francisco dispatches are taken at
Chicago and Cheyenne.
The seven newspapers which control
the association hold monthly meetings.
The details jSn in the hands of tno
superintendent and executive committee.
Associated Press news generally escapes
liettflyal Sometimes a leak is sprang,
but it is quicker traced by decoy tele
grams. Errors often occur in transmis
sion. Strange words are coined for the
sake of brevity, such as “suicidal” and
“conflagrated.” These philological hor
rors are resolved into their original ele
ments. A dispatch from the West was
read, “Troops all scalped.” It should
have been, “Troops all escaped.” A
railroad conductor’s message read, “We
killed a dead mule.” Of course, a deaf
mute was meant. The agents of the
Associated Press must lie geographers,
must know public charaotcr, and have
an acquaintance with parliamentary
practice. They must bo intellectual
machines—entitled only to industry nnd
conscience—they must not make com
ments. Borne papers pay only SI 5 a
week for the privileges of the association,
but the weekly deficit is divided among
the seven New York dailies, and the
share of each averages S3OO a week.
Among the objections to the association,
it is alleged that it is a monopoly, and
that it lives by favor of the Western
Union Telegraph Cempany. But there
is no combination between the telegraph
company and the association, which is
simply a wholesale customer. The power
of the Associated Press would be increased
by the Postal Telegraph system. A mil
lion men may photograph the sun, if
they will get up early in the morning.
Until the law makes a felony of copart
nership it cannot interfere. It has a vast
educational influence, and is one of the
mightiest force in American civilization.
The papers go to press at 2 a. m.
“Gooa night” is echoed along the line
and the magnetic pulse is silent till the
morrow.— Lecture by James W. Simon
ton.
Mrs. Partington Say*
Don’t take any of the quack rostrums,
as they are regimental to the human cis
tern ; but put yur trust in Hop Bitters,
which will curwftncral dilapidation, cos
tive habits and 3ft Comic diseases. They
saved Isaac from a severe extract of
tripod fever. They are the no plus unum
of medicines.—Boston Globe.
The Irishman’s Cat.
A poor Irishman applied for relief, and
upon some doubts being expressed as to
whether he was a proper object for relief,
he enforced his suit with much rnrnest
ness. “Oeh! yer Honor,” said lie, “I’d
be starved long since but for my cat.”
“But for what?” asked the astonished
mngistaate. “My cat,” replied the
Irishman. “Tourcat, —how so?" “Shure,
yer Honor, I sould her eleven times for
a shilling u time, and she was always
home before I could get there myself.”
Old maids and old bachelors are so
forlorn that constant drafts are made by
them upon the sympathy of their friends,
especially if rheumatism is added to their
afflictions, hut Couaaen’s lightning Lin
iment cures rheumatism, lame baok,
sprains, __ bruises, eta. Price of sample
bottle 25c. or 50c. for one of regular sise.
For sale by all draggista
Several weeks ago a latter addressed
to “Queen Victoria, Windsor Castle,”
was mailed at the Boston Postoffice.
For some reason Hie letter was sent to
the Dead Letter Ofiloe, where it was
found to contain a request for the
Queen’s autograph, with a silver dime
for return postage. The point of the
circumstance is that the writer, a boy
fourteen years old. boasts that he tried
it again and got wllat he wanted.
A few years ago a Japanese publisher
brought out a life of Washington in
forty-five volumes,, with illustrations in
which the Father sf bin Country is rep
resented in modern dress, wearing a
heavy mustache, tarrying a cane, and
accompanied by a Bkye terrier.
“The suspence ie over!” as the Sheriff
said when he cut down the criminal’s
body. ____________
Quality and efficacy considered, Sr. Bull’s
Cough Syrup is without exception the best
Cough preparation in the market Price 25
cents a bottle.
Fom dyspepsia, indigestion, depression of
spirits and general debility in their various
forms, also as a preventive against fever and
ague and other intermittent fevers, the Fkhro
Phosphorated Euxißor Oalisata Bark, made
by Caswell, Hazard A Cos., New York, and sold
by all druggists, is toe beet tonic; and for pa
tients recovering from fever or other sickness it
has no equal.
Ws do not often smAk of any proprietary
medicine, but from whatVwe hare read and
heard of Allen's LungßaJgpn, we shall take
the liberty of saying to those who are troubled
with a Cold, Cough, or any Throst or Lung Af
fection. that from the testimony afforded, we
have such confidence ki this article, that were
we afflicted in that way, we wonld make a trial
of its virtues. Beware of toe fatal consequen
ces of neglecting this timely warning. Now,
before it is too late, use Allen's Lilj Balsam,
which will cure the diisaan Every druggist in
the land sells it
DfBULLS
COUGH
SYRUP
"Jmm, b mi Tut"
Wooten are timid creative*, tad hale
be left in a boner alone at night, eo,
when Mr. Oailagher went away Irwa
home, leaving hie wile with only an ig
norant eervant. ehe wee very much wor
ried, and readily harkened to the voice
at an agent who called met after Gal
lagher had gone around the corner, and
wanted to aell her a machine which
would prevent burglar* from getting
into the house. She bought three.
Thoae placed at the (rant and hack
door* were so arranged that, when the
door waa opened, a hammer would strike
down from above and knock down the
]tenon trying to enter. A third contriv
ance of (hilt-rent pattern was placed on
the (tom and another at the front win
dow. Gallagher unexpectedly returned
late that night, and, attempting to en
ter the front door, got a blow on the
noee that knocked him down the steps
into the street. He was both surprised
and annoyed at the circumstance, and,
utterly unable to understand it, tried
he door again. Same result. He then
thought somebody was behind the door
trying to assassinate him, and, getting
up very mad, ran around to the back
door to get in that way. Then he got a
thump that sent him back into the hwill
barrel, and he was terribly cross when
he got up. He grabbed an ax, and, as
be opened the door again, struck with
it But he hit nobody, and got
another knock-down. Then he went
and got a policeman, so that
one could tackle each door, and one be
sure to get in; but after both had en
joyed three knock-downs they met and
compared notes, and decided that two
men must be in the house. They then
tried the front window, and, raising it, a
deluge of icy water from a hose arranged
to bring it flew upon them. But they
braved that and got in. Then they ran
sacked the lower part of the house, but
could find nobody, and meantime Mrs.
G., up-stairs, beard them, and nearly
died of fright. They started up-stairs,
Gallagher first, and near the top a stair,
fixed on a pivot, rolled under Gallagher
and hurled him backward, and he went
to the bottom, taking the - policeman
with him. They both yelled, but Gal
lagher yelled the loudest, and his wife
recognized his voice and his favorite oath.
Her courage returned. She went to the
head of tire stairs and cited: “James is
that you?” James was painfully hurt
and awful mad then, and the policeman
wns trying to get back tho breath Gal
lagher had squashed out of him. “No,”
cried James, “it’s not me; it’s some
other fellow. Jim Gallagher was never
knocked down seventeen times in one
night! ” But she knew it was he, and
explained matters. And then Gallagher
gave the policeman $lO to say nothing
aliout tho matter, and the officer retired;
and then Gallagher jawed his wife for
two hours, and tho next day went seven
miles to overtake the man who sold her
the machines and kicked the life nearly
out of him. He admits that the things
would be dreadfully discouraging to a
burarlar. though. —Boston Post.
A Kentucky murderer dug his way
out of jail with the ribs of some meat
be had been givon for supper.
No Preparation on earth equals St.Jacoiw Oil as a site.
suaa. simple and cheap External Remedy. A trial entails
but the comparatively trilling outlay of .V) Cunts, and ever)
one sutTering with |iu c&u have cheap and positive proof of
ita claims, nißZCrioxs is eleven lakovaues.
SSlt IT *U DRU6BISTS AND DEALERS II MEDICINE.
A. VOSELER & CO.
Baltimore, Sid., V. 8. A.
Jams®
t - : .. . : .
*iS s
Xo Time Should be I.oat
If the stomach, ltver and bovre'sare affected,
to adopt the Mire remedy, Hostetler’s Stom
ach Bitters. Diseases of the organs named
beget others far more -erions, and a delay is
therefore hazardous. Dyspepsia, liver com
plaint, chills and fever, early rhenmatie
twinges, kidney weakness, bring serious bod
ily trouble if trifled with. Lose no time in
using this effective, safe and long known
medicine.
For sale by all Druggists and Dealers
generally.
MINN. AMBER SUGAR CANE SEED
Stic W. *■ PORTIA, Eaa—A. MiTa,
rouNG *¥c.*rViAV
|l MPU>YMEIIf —fc2£ A -*wSP ISsSse
&■ A H Gtcrp UU CliniMMMtl.
ICCDTCWAXTED —Gentlemen, Lames. Girls and
AU t W I 9 bts. Address Hatch Bios., Bride*port, Ct.
rIS l i lt I irKWiLSV
IMM4f Ttoa.
tween his thumb and finger, expecting
the palp to fly into hie open mouth like
any decent eart of grape. The tough ,
•kin held, and looking at it dnbkmaly he '
loaned it away and tried another one.
Thia one crashed in hie finger*, the j
juice flying all over hie thirty-eeven-cent j
necktie. With a look of unutterable
disgust he appealed to a street gamin:
“Here, bub, 1 thought green grape*
wruz gone by, but I'm durned if they
ain't aelliug 'em yet I’ll give you ten
cents if you’ll eat these dura tilings.”
And the boy *at on n dry goods lx>x,
swung his feet, wagged his jaw*, licked
his chops and earned the money, the
rustic occasionally exclaiming between
liis fits of uncontrollable laughter: “ Eats
'em skins an’ all, durned if he don't!
Skins an' all, like a cow chewin’ a pum
kin.”—Ne> Haven Register.
A GOOD FAMILY REMEDY!
STRICTLY PURE
[This sngrsring represents the Lungs In a healthy ststs. J
What The Doctors Say!
DR. FLETCHER, of Lexington, Mo., says: “I reeom
mend your ‘Balaam* in preference to any other medi
cine for cougns and colds.*’
DR. A.C. JOHNSON, of Mt. Vernon, 111., writes of some
wonderful cures of Consnmptlon in his place by the
use of “Allen's Liuif BaUam.”
DR. J. B. TTTRKER, Blountsville, Ala., a practicing
physician of twenty.flre yesrs, writes: “It is the best
preparation for Consumption in the world.”
For mil Diseases of ths Throat. Langs ansi
Pulmonary Organs, It will be found a
moot excellent Hemefiy.
AS AN EXPECTORANT IT HAS NO EQUAL.
IT CONTAINS NO OPIUM iN ANY FORM.
J. N. HARRIS Sl CO., Proprietors,
CINCINNATI* O.
FOR SALE BY ALL DRUGGISTS.
PONDS
EXTRACT
THE GREAT VEGETABLE
PAIN DESTROYER AND SPECIFIC
FOR INFLAMMATION AND
HEMORRHAGES.
Rheumatism, Neuralgia.
No other preparation has cured no many cases of these
distressing complaints as tin* Extract. Our Plas
ter is invaluable in these diseases, Lumbago, Pains
la Bach or Side, Ac. Oar Ointment (SOcents) for
use when removal of clothing is inconvenient, is a
gr.at help la relieving inflammatory cases.
Hemorrhages. SWjR
Nose, or from any cause, is speedily controlled ana
stopped. Our Nasal Syringe* (25 centsi and In
ha I era (11.00 k are great aids in arresting internal
bio4t<tg. A ■
Diphtheria ISore Throat
tik.Uso the Extract promptly. It is a sure oure. De
lay is dangerous.
At The Extract is the only specific
VClllirrils for this disease. Cold in Head, Ac.
Our “Catarrh Cure,” specially prepared to meet
serious cases, contains all the curative propertiei of
the Extract; our Nnaal Nyrlnge, invaluable for
use in catarrhal affections, is simple and unexpenaive >
Sores, Ulcers, Wounds,
Sprains and Bruises heal
ing, cooling and cleansing. Use our o*ntinent in
connection with '.he Extract; it will aid in healing,
softening and in keeping out the air.
Burns and Scalds heat and pain !
it is unrivaled, and should be kept in every family
ready for use in case of accidents. A dressing of our
Ointment will aid in healing and prevent scars.
Inflamed or Sore Eyes.
It can be used without the slightest feAr of harm,
quickly allaying all inflammation and soreness with
out pain.
Earache, Joothache &
raroarho When the Extract Is
■ CM V/CCH/llva used according 10 direc-
its effect is simply wonderful.
DilOQ Blind, Bleeding: or Itching, ft is
a the grenUst known remedy; rapidly cur
ing when other medicines have failed. Pond's Ex
tract Medicated Paper for closet use, is a pre
ventive against CffaAng and Piles. Our Ointment
is of '-eat service where the removal of clothing is in
-3 con .ient.
For Broken Breast and
Sore NippleS. cleap^Vnli'eflta
eious that mothers woo have once used it will never
be without it. Our Ointment is the best emollient
that can be applied.
Female Complaints ciaif nved
be called in for the majority of female diseases if the
Extract be used. Full directions accompany each
bottle.
CAUTION.
Pond’s Extract Thegeauine has the
words -‘Pond’, t ilr.rt" blown in the glass, and
oar pictnr. trade-mark on surrounding buff wpper.
None other is genuine. Always insist on haring
Pond*. Extract. Take no other preparation.
It is netxr sold is bulk or by m ensure.
Price of Pond’s Extract, Toilet Arti
cles and Specialties:
POND’S EXTRACT Me, .1.0(1 and 1.73
Toilet ( ream 4100 (atnrrh Cure.— 78
Dentifrice 8 Plaater
L<p Nxlre *5 Inhnler _IM
Toilet Soapaki) 3* Saael kjrtiire ... 83
Ointment. 50 Jlediented Paper
Prepared only by POND’S EXTRACT CO,
MEW YORK and LONDON.
For sale by all Druggists and Fancy Goods Dealers.
(Orders for *2 wnrtf, carriage free, on receipt of 12 25
balers for S5 worth, carriage ' e, on receipt of $5, if ad*
Seated Ur IS Mur:./Street, FwwTork.
SEEDS THAT SURPRISE*.
THE FARMERS’ “BONANZA.”
Maxixc, anew vegetable from S. A., differing
from anything ever grown here, delicious raw or
cooked. * Seed sent by mail 20 ets. a paper. Soya
Bean of Japan, half bean half pea, said by chem
ists to be the richest hnman food known. Fine
fodder plant, also. Seed. 15 cts. a paper. Cuban
Queen Watermelon, Just imported, largest variety
ever grown in TJ. S., firm, luscious, crisp and
sugary ; best to keep or ship, 25 cts. a paper of an
seeds, 6 papers for sl. Very scarce. I.og-of-W ood
Mnskmelon. largest known, 2 to3 feet long—tine
quality, early and prolific, 15 cts. a paper. Climax
Tomato, richest flavor, early, prolific, solid—un
equaled in every way, 15 cts. a paper. White Egyp
tian Corn (tom the NileT, yields immensely
in the South where other corn fails. Unequaled
for table or stock, 20 cts. a paper, 75 cts. a pound.
Teosinte. one plant feedsacow two days: 10 to 1- n.
high, 15 cts. a paper. Cusco Corn, grains 1 in. long.
M Tn. broad. Seed will bring fabulous prices, lo cts.
a paper. All the above sent for fl, 3of each for |2.
Address C. R. GILBERT A CO. Atlanta. Ga.
Reference: Hon. W. L. Calhoun, Mayor of
Atlanta.
A GOOD SAW MILL
For 8200.
Oar Ha. 1 Plantotiea tew Mill to designed u tomb
I, It *r It harm pawn Agricultural Engine*. With thU
pewer from
1,500 to 4,000 Feet
at lumbar eon ha aut tu edev. A product * ta 50 par Mat.
greater thaa aaa ha cut with say reciprocating caw mill
with tha same power. The mills are com pi at# except
MW, u 4 will ha put am Ue ears iu Cincinnati for tha low
price of S3OO, and warranted iu every particular. Saw
Mills ef all aixaa, Engine#, Boiler#, Shafting, Gearing, te
* Illustrated circular# scat free.
LANE A BODLEY CO.,
John and Water Sts.. Cincinnati. 0.
EUREKA PILE SALVE
Relieves instantly and curea thoroßaM’F (in > tot dav)
External Pile*. Sent for 2S or *0 ceata lo any addre.-a.’ .
A. RArFKNNPEBNES, Spriagflald, Ob la. t
THE
GREAT GERMAN
REMEDY
FOR
RHEUMATISM,
NEURALGIA,
SCIATICA,
LUMBAGO,
BACKACHE,
aOTJT,
SORENESS
or TUB
CHEST,
SORE THROAT,
QUINSY,
SWELLINGS
AND
SPRAINS,
FROSTED FEET
AND
EARS,
BUnNTS
AND
SCALDS,
General Bodily Pains,
TOOTH, EAR
AND
HEADACHE,
AND
ALL BTKEH PAINS
A HD
ACHES.
Send Your Addreee on •
Postal Cord
EHBICH BROS.,
Eighth Ave., New York,
wlllrawlni rß7*r ie—ls* I*l—r
~UM ■‘>■,l.l,l.
Shopping in NewYork
MUSTANG
Survival of the Fittest!
A FAMILY SfFDICINB THAT HAS HKALE)I
MILLIONS DLBIXG 85 TEAKS 1 |
MEIICiN lit LIIMT.I
A BALM FOR EY'ERY WOUND Ofl
MAN AND BEAST l
THEOLDEST&BESTLINIMENtI
EVER HADE IN AMERICA.
SALES LARGER THAN EVER. 5
The Mexican Mustang Liniment hasß
been known for more than tlxirty-flveH
years as tbo best of all Liniments, forH
Man and Beast, Its sales today arejj
larger ilian over. It cures when allH
others fail, and penetrates skin, tendonM
and muscle, to the very bone. Sold*
everywhere.
The and Best Medicine ever Hade.
Acolmbination of Hops, Buchu, Man
drakme ar.(l Dandelion, with all tbo best and
most c%ura tive properties of all other Bitters,
makos\the greatest Blood Purifier, Liver
Reg U and Life and Health Restoring
Agent earth.
No disease possibly long exist where Hop
Bitters are usVed,so varied and perfect are their
o perationsjQßte
Tie? ein mw lihll aslyigorto tho aged aai infirm.
To all whoso oV n i' los ' nHjntsOTU ™ irret ' u,art '
tyoftliobowelßor\urinary organa, or who re
quiroan AppeUzeAlon*® and rmld Stimulant,
Hop Bitter, are lorai\ k uatlle ' Wlth ° ut Intox
icating. hA
No matter what your femCttngs or symptoms
are what the disease or allwßent Is use Hop Bit
ters. Don’t wait until y0u8% 1,0 but if you
only feel bad or miserable,*use them at once-
It may save yourlife.lt has* 8 av 0 and hundreds.
SSOO w iH be paid for a ca^ e they will not
euro or help. Do not suffer *o f let your friends
suffer,but use and urge them* touse HOP B I
Remember, Hop Bitters is no^^ vlle > druggitd
drunken nostrum, but the n “ Best
Medicine ever mode ; the FRIEND
and HOPE” and no person Or
should be without them. ■■hm AM
D. I.C. 1■ an absolute and Irresistible
t .n lirunkcnnc.AS.iiioof opium, tolwcoo andf
narcotics. Ali sold by aniggi'-ts. Send
for Circular. Hop Ritters Xff. Cos., M BAH
eKair Dytiilto fIAFB.
r:d BEST; it Mto inatMte
aoualy, pradudna tha aaawl
atural anadaa ef Blaok
rows ;4om NOT BTAIBUk
KIN, and it oplly applltii
yr.^rsa.'Ksytti
BBS:
r '
\ .-• W>
| C U SI NESS, U N. I.VER SIT Y
S Cjo
7>^ CAi ' o ° L '
Str/vp roR catalogues a
$ 7 7 rakTgiil
ENCYCLOP/EDIA a®
TIOUETTE! BUSINESS
This iathe cheapest and only complete And rsliabls
.rork on Eiiquetts ard Business and Social Fprms. II
'■♦•Us how to perform all the various duties or 'lit#, and
how to appear to the best advantage on all occasion?*.
Agents Wanted. -Sind for circulars contain.’*)! t
till description of the woik and extra terms to Agents'
** iss, Nxtissal Foslismis* Cos., Atlanta. Qp
OeaOiess.EarDiseasßS.CataiTL
l>r. C. E. IHOEK AKIB. the well-knew* m
H*nod Amral Burgeon, Anther And Wrller *a Ole abets
Du eases. may be consulted by mail *r cere on ally at his
•Am. No dll Walnat Itrdsi, Eradluf, Pk
Its small book coat frss. Bis large and uemslete wsrl
H! 979 pages ea Deafness, Diseases of the lit and Tern
Mis, and Catarrh, and (halt proper lronlaaMf prtoo ft
Bo one trill fnasdsn Bv. Mssmlss'i (Moßm
u o Electricity & Absorption
S ■ Combined
L 'if - effl Speedily restores the Vital Force®;
W / v!i Lost Manhood, and coring th*
j worst c.ases orSemkialweaK
*\ nesa, Impotency,Ac. MATH-
W ■ %■%. B A EWS’ Improved Electro Mapnotio
i A # * | Belt and Absorbent Pad Combined
#: A (size of Pad, 7xlo Inches, 4 times
m&m&m M&'m larger than others), reaches at
® \?• gf if once the seat of disease. I>o not
J| purchase any old-style S2O Belts
if ; when you can pet the latest In*'
i (\Tproved for $3.00. “Electric
Light,” a large 24-column newj-
V iXVStlTu mcxilgr.- a , paper sent free unsealed; sealed,
1 tic. D. S. D. MATHEWS & CO. .
,1 / 431 West Lake Et., Chicago, ll
■ linttM oegvevtec f **• f?
A the Maoohlo emblem* foa4 udtf U. U W. A. M
ft ". Great reduction la price* of MaeoaU *•***•
V' jM' aMI Kt. Templar autflta. Bead for lllnotrnted
REDDING k. CO., Masala rnMlehara, TO Eroedwa*
/ \ Maw York. Bavrara af aparioes worka.
CELLULOID *4
EYE-CLASSES. ”
Representing the ehoioest selected TortoUe-
Ihell and Amber. The lightest, bandaomeet,
and strongest known. Sold bv Opticians ana
Jewelers. Made by BPENGEK OPTICAL
F'Q CO., 13 Maidsn Lane. New York.
ELEGANT JEWELRY CHEAP.
To introduce our new styles and influence trade
we make the following unparalleled offers for a
short time : “ The Berlin Packet contains a gold
plated watch chain, agate shawl pin, lady's ele
gant set jewelry, sea bean cuff buttons, coral neck
lace,set of agate studs, gold plate band ring, collar
button, key ring, pocket book, imitation silk
handkerchief, pen, pencil, comic envelopes and
visiting cards. All these mailed to you for 35c. in
stamps; 4 packets for SI.OO. The lot can be re
tailed at from fl to 55.00.
The Koyal Casket contains one superb amethyst
ring, elegant coral broucb set in box fancy neck
lace, coral sleeve buttons, engraved gold plate
bracelets, rose scarf pin, gold plated lady’s set, gold
plate sleeve buttons, heavy gold plate studs, lively
cameo scarf pin, genuine Parisian diamond stud.
Maltese cross with P. diamond center, beautiful
jet sleeve buttons, plated collar button, plated
link walcli chain, plain gold plate ring, nobbv
cameo ring, Maltese ear-rings with P. diamond
settings, gents' full comb, amethyst set, lady's
full plated set with white stone settings. Jet and
cameo scarf pin, eng. gold plate sleeve buttons.
The whole of this magnificent collection sent
secure by mail for sl, 2 for f1.70, 4 for $3. This lot
can be retailed easily at from 85 to 810. Address,
N. Y. JEWELRY CO., Atlanta, Ga.
The Atlanta GLOhe says: “ This company is
perfectly reliable, and the amount they give for
your money is astounding.”
REH FOX, Skunk, Raccoon, Mink, bought for
Cah; highest price*. Send for Circular, full partic
ulars. EBOUGHTON, 5 Howard St., New York.
Publishers’ Union, Atlanta, Ga .Six.-ll
sago
NOTICE]
AS BLUE FLANNEL GARMENTS
Of Inferior Quality of flnols
•f. .old aa th. “genuine Middle.ex," which ■ not
mote by that mill. The Middlesex Company, in ord" to
protect their cu-ttimers and the pnblic, eiVe notice, that
hereafter all Clothing made from THE MI Dl’l.tfsKT
flannels and tacht
CLCTH , most bear the trade mark ticket, furniahad by
the Selling Agent, to alt partiea ordering the good*. 1
WENDELL. FAY & CO.. Selling Agent,.
NIDDI.I AES COMPART,
Mui H Wartk IL. lew T.rl; r Fran kill It, ladat.
m 04 CkMtllt IL, FkiUialpkla