The Ellijay courier. (Ellijay, Ga.) 1875-189?, September 01, 1881, Image 1

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t K* H.a bM4I .tree lift had tad And fc a ihj but* oclj, ib*rt for An. I ww M* thre with th.r p*> Win mw 1 ‘ ‘ r ' *•* nWatiif hrert Hat van U.J ovm, only Wid aw all tkal 1 hadloat Wbrn fn-m th. t taut tty Icnlr accl had tan. Tb.' o revtaotMat: aad aai turaad away. And Iflt Um ireure aha* cthtr owaraare tUI; Nor did In ma on that day n In tbn bnnbatrnaAM thtr.g van kU. Tn thlVib art** Ami hut iron* an boar L.J>i*:wthar aoi-t-.., fur and awrrt, Where IkhSAafil.r arena siA|<£S(Um p-aar £r kqpi in jouUi and l-e*u I) t.u wa meet. Thna I ran far! fhat anj jivrn day I oould rejvifi lire*, X"I1* awhile before To foreign climea to pass dull week- a wav. By wandering on Up broad Abanilo ahoro, b'hiun nek long '•are that hraaka m-w Uta aaiid Brere than a gmanga from me aalttng bare, Ail orery breath aprlng breathe* acraaa tha land Baama aa a algn that th' M art lingering neor. So I win think of then aa laving tbam And I Win keep thy crave in eweetent bloom Aa If than (revert a garden to my care tlk'n.dt'i-artrd from our English gloom. Then vi hau ruy Jay i- done uuf 1, too, die, ,’XvrUi be aa If X journeyed to thy at la. And whaa all quiet we together be tie abail not know that we kare aver died -AU U* l mr Romd. TIIF. FLEXIBLE FIEXI). Last summer my wife received a tele gram from her mother (visiting in Bos ton}, urging her to meet'her in that city on an important family matter. Let no oue suspect mo of intimating that my respected mother-in-law is the “ flexible fiend,” from my introducing her name so aoon after the title of my story; but had it not been for that telegram my experi ence with said fiend would have been nib Arabella was to.start early in the morn ing, and gavo me many orders. “Be sure and lock all the doors every night, Theephilua, and, whatever you do, don’t aggravate Bridget, for yon know whaTa helpless predicament you would be in if she sljpuld take it into her head to * leave. ” I gave the required promises, and next day saw Arabella safely on her way. For a few days all went smoothly. Bridget was, to use her own' description, in the most “ illigantest” of huuors,.and I en joyed nn won ted tranquillity. Ktencame the beginning of the end. Of course Arabella and I letters daily. (We had only been married a year and a half.) On the afternoon of the fourth day her letter contained the following thunderbolt—in a postscript: •‘I forgot to tell you that I found Aunt Carraway here on a visit from tfie West. She will come home with me for a short stay, so be sure and have Biddy clean the house from roof to cellar, as Aunt Carraway lms an eye like a lynx— but then you know, Philly dear, she has a great deal of .money,” X understood,that, “Philly dear,” *t once. On ordinary ocoasions Arabella calls me “Theophilus.” She knew that ’ T iivAu -Vt&ko* ftirv. & hi.wither thug con voy her cfctomiinds to Bridget, but, as the thing had to be done, her mode of mklross was an affectionate hint to ap proach the dreaded damsel with the ut most circumspection. I began at onco. I went to tho kitch en, where Biddy was scouring pans. . '‘Wall, is there anything you need from the store ? I m’ay run down there to-night, and can bring any thing you want—just as well as not, you know.” “Sugar’s out,? said the jaaidofi, la • Aonically. 44 Jft'M , &. £* & “ Anythingolse, Biddy?” with a Pick wickian smile and a Ohadband inflec tion. k. * “ Sure ye might be after fetcliin' a anp o' tay, toot” “I will, Biddy, with great pleasure. By tho way, that’s a fine fellow that tomes to see you sometimes. McCarthy ■ his name.” . “It’s my cuzzint, Bhure,” said the bashful Biddy, rubbing away vary hard the bottom of a pan. “Avery nice cousin, indeed, and I hope yon Will treat him well, Biddy, every time lie Vomes. By the way, I have jnst had another letter from Mrs. Blodgett. She will bo home on Thurs day, and wished me to mention to you that yon might do a little., house-clean ing, as site expects to tiring a friend with her. I’ll lieip you, Biddy, ’pon tht" word I will,” I continued hastily, seeing signs of gathering wrath on, Erin’s brow. ’ *' Next day wo began operations. While Bridget .soi-jibbed and scoured and grumbled and glowered, I devoted my energies to dealing out the rubbish in' our tiedroom closet, and progressed swimmingly until I came, to an old hoop skirt of Arabella's. I find beard a friend say that stove-clinkers and old hoop ski rts were the hardest things to get rid cotiTtt^Sdf. 1 I could'hot. 1* could not hido it in (lie attic. for Aiftff Carraway would .to _make ah pedition thitlmr within twenty-four hours of her arrival! Jf I should throw it behind tffh woofl-sfied, Biddy wbifiil trip oveC ft and {mature her classic nose. A brilliant idea presented itself! I would bury it in the vegetable garden, near the potato patch. “ The turf shall be its winding sheet,” sang I triumphantly, and bore it to the spot. A few spadefuls of earth, a few madly tears (oaused by uprooting a very powerful onion near by), and all was over. The next day I sat in my library, reading an ins tractive volume entitled “Enigmas of Life.” The door was thrown open, and a bouncing, bewilder ing object gyrated along the floor to my study-chair, followed by Bridget, with the thunders of Olympus on her brow, wnd—ves—a blacked eye ! With wrath ful goat ores she shot forth her tirade : ELLIJAY COURIER. W. IT. on MR** I Mirer u 4 FtblUher. | “ An’ it is aaesiif that’ll be Mi thee hav in’my eye kilt entirely wid the nathifcin* owld villin av a lioop-skurrt jumprnt in til me face, while I was diggin’ a few peratiee for dinner—like a divil -from purragatony, sure !" 1 She disappeared, and I laid down my book in despair. “ Enigma* of Life 1” I should think so!. I seized the hoop skirt. and ran frantically in the garden. I would imy it adveuty fathoms 4ecp, if I had to dig through to the antipodes 1 No one should say that Theophilus Blodgett was the man to be conquered by an old hoop-skirt, forty-spring double elliptic though it might be I Just as I reached the comer of the woodshed, I heard a silvery voice exclaim: “ Good-morning, Mr. Blodgett I” Looking around, I descried, oh, hor ror 1 the clergyman of St James, with his wife and young-lady visitor, Miss Juliet Thornton, coming to call 1 • For -■ the Rev. Cfiggswell and lady I cared not ] a straw, but Juliet Thornton had been ? one of my ardent attachments before X'. engaged myself to Arabella. In fact, I was a long time (I may say a very long time) making np my mind which of the two X really preferred; but, on Arabella’s remarking sarcastically one evening that “ some people never did know their own minds,” and that “ men were all alike— fickle as the weather”—l gasped for firmness, uprooted Juliet from my heart forever, and made Arabella name the day on the spot. However, notwithstanding the uproot ing process- (which is not always so thorough as sogio people imagine), if there was one parson in the world before whom Lwished jto preflfent a respectable aguro, it was Juliet Thornton. Arabella might got killed in a railroad accident. . Strange thing| happened every day. iJ glanced about me in desperation. There stood a heavenly ash barrel right at my t elbow. I breathed an inward thanks giving, anij, hastily cramming the lioop- Skirt into the Tifttrel, joined m f visitors at the front gate. “ Wo are just in time to make a tour of your flower garden, Mr. Blodgett,”. said Juliet beguiliugly ; “I do so dote on flowers 1” and she gave one a tender glance, as if to say, “ I have not forgot ten tho hot houses and snowy oamellias that a certain individual used to send T#t" ..tv , “ With all my heart, ladies; this way —and Mr. Oiggswell, too,” and I led them in triumph around tho flower beds, plucking tho fairest blossoms of all for Juliet and Mrs. Oiggswell. It is fortu nate that Arabella did not see the solioi tude with which I selected the,perfect specimens. The reverend Ciggawell., squinted through his eye-glasses toward the kitchen fire. “ You have—aw—some very fine veg etables, too—aw—Mr. Blodgett, I per-’ ooive. lam very foncl of looking—aw— at a vegetable garden. ” *4- I could have murdered him. The way to the vegetable patch led direetly past t’le ash bdi-rel. “Oh, yes, dear Mr. Blodgett, do #how us the vegetables,” said .Juliet. “ I do love to’see the cunning little yel low squashes, and the beets and onions and other nice things.” There was no help for it. Stifling a groan I conducted them to tho desired place. Wo neared the fateful ash barrel. Juliet’s eyes were cast on the ground; and I breathed freely as we passed it, -*hen an ominous sound—“ tsiss-ss-t ” greeted my ears, and my horrified eyes beheld a long, .Jigged rent in Juliet’s pink cambrio polonaise ! That diabol ical, hoop-skirt—that haunting remorse less fiend—that “Banquo” that would not “ down ” —had protruded a broken wire through a chink of the barrel, and the deed was done ! If Arabella were, to be immolated on fifty trains it would makp no difference now 1. Juliet would never smile on me again. A womitn' must be an angel to forgive an irrepafir bio ir jury to anew dress. Of course I apologized, and of course slio pretended not to care; but a certain freezing dignity crept into her manner for the remainder Of the call, and by the time we reauhod “ the cunning little yellow squashes ” her enthusiasm was as dead ns Julius Osesar. The visitors declined an invitation to enter the house and rest. Mrs. Ciggs with an infinitude of pins and an of sympathy, made tempora ry-repairs in the pink polonaise, and I bowed them out of the front gate with an unwonted chill at my heart. Looking across the street I espied a ragman’s cart standing at . the Widow Dickerman’s. A wild impulse seized me. I snatched the “ fiend ” from the ash barrel, and, as I ran up-stairs, called out, “Bridget, Turnover to Mrs. Dicker man’s, please, sad tell that ragman to be sure and stop here.” The rag-bag always hong by Arabel la’s sewing-mstphine in the bedroom. Twisting the fiend into the smallest possible compass, I wrapped and tied it securely in a ragged dish-towel, and pu.shpd it down, down, down, to the very bottom of the bog. No, that wouldn't With a Machiavellian cunning I. I palled the “ fiend ” up toward the mid j die. “He will never discover it till hie ! petH to the thought TANARUS; .“farewell, ruthless destroyer of. my i ik ace, farewell 1” ELLIJAY, GA„ THURSDAY SEPTKMBKU 1. 1831. l ilimr— lA - - - - _ e By tim 40F c eted ’be Wido'. DiekWr i had <■ to the end of ci Fering half, pint tih cups and gri 1 Iln frnTm InmUt sn-1 he cart was at t door. With a etolidvcon.ipsnMME but’wHJHißg by. while xhe peddler weighed the rags and counted out tho ca&h, I did back of tlio cart vanish over the tori of the long, hilly street, on the road to ' H . The next day Arabella (dear girl) re ' turned with Aunt Carraway. As we sat at dinner, plying our elderly relative with all the delicacies of the seasonal heard an animated discussion at the ■ kitchen door between Bridget and- a Bll'Mtg* DLiIJI. V-'i-.' tbiei Bangs is agoin’ tcW pS/ 5 cents a paound for old hupskirt wire you’rs just a leetle out of your reck’nin’, for calf’iat© to korry on bizness m m afrle. TU trouble yew ufod 10 CBntc MiAter,” and he bandad the ktill lied in the ragged towel.” Arabella was completely mystified. Aunt Cawaway looked unutterable things I Xhanded out a dime ; Hiram Salathiel departed. I flung myaelf bock in my chair, in an attitude of utter hopelessness. “It’s no use, Arabella I I’ve tried to get rid of that infernal thing ever since Tuesday 1 It’s bewitohed 1 Where’* my bat f” and I plunged wildly out at the house. V “ It’s all rit/hf Phillv Aimt P,am* O f AWU V* | way wasn’t nearly so horrifled as yon j would suppose. She’s iwleep in her* own room n<JS)” nke awTßiSßffTifd lamPi kin.” ,ir W She led me rqqmi where the bookcase iAoiW, roguishly to a mysterious looking, serpentihe atraugaiinent on the wail, lined with Turkey red, finished pff with bowt of ribbon Snft filled with riewsps* pers. “Yon know, Phil, you never can find your paper again when von lay it down, t o pocket for a surprise. ” I looked‘again. Could I believe my eyes ? Yes, it must be; it was the “ fiend ” transformed into an object botft useful and ornamental by the ready wit and deft fingers of a woman t “I acknowledge myself surpassed, Arabella. Men aometimes don’t know half as much ns they think they do.” Arabella smiled demurely. wKiaHiwa $e0, 000,000 itr gold. Tho weighing is being done in the large melting-room in tho Assay Oflioe. The brass scales are about four feet high, and the Weight on either side and at the center rests upon knife edges of a sharpness that will have been worn so much when the present weighing is done that they will never be used again. The balance of the empty pans is so enact that the one-hundredth part of an ounce added to either sido bears it down promptly. The weights used are of a composition of metals looking like brass. They are shaped like large tomato cans, with scooped-out tops, across which are straight handles, and they weigh 600 troy ounces each. Ten of these weights, or 5,000 ounces, make tho oapaeity of the scales, a drop of this sizo disposing of twenty-five bars of gold, or $125,000, Of couiie there are many smaller weights toßecgrg*!tct Mouzaqy, The entire accumulation of gold amounts to 700 iug from 9 a, m. to 4 p. m., only 105 melts can be disposed of in a day. Al lowing time for lunch and delays, the 'work will probably not be completed much before the last day of the jjjicid. year, which is June 30. The gold, which is in bars about sift inches long, an inch thick, and two and a Saif inches wide, is stored in commofi open wooden boxes, with about the capacity of.a hod. Ten bars are kept in each box, and the hand truck in which the gold is hauled from the vault to the scales will hold twenty boxes. Each bar is worth $5,000, each . boxful, about $50,000, each truck load about $1,000,000. The reporter, when shown into tlia vault,, was surrounded by shelves’piled up with gold and silver worth about $60,000,000. —New York World. "**, % ’ TUB GREATEST^ The Persian author Saadi tells a ston of three sages—a Greek, an Indian and a Persian—who, in the presence-.of tlio Persian monarch, debated this question: Of the evils incident to humanity, which is the greatest ? The Grecian declared, “ Old age oppressed with poverty;” the Indian answered, .“Pain with impa- while tha Persian, bowing low, made answwr, “The .greatest evil, O King, that I oan conceive is the couch of death without one good deed of life to light the darksome way I” Wrn you buy peanuts, that’s a quart. When you pay for them, that’s a quarter. And when you have disposed of them, that’s a quartette. wjTATgBW M3 kld ° Mfct ofjAl Akh ta |* ■ , the ifiuch-ebu ! oriHont' : Tbits writers the waKdoeirixot stand as a ,<1- lAatCUf It ajHwi'ru to th- Lu largely of ft hallowed lomaWM woi Is will be so long as trIH can persuade ■theilUKfi or oe touch tffo hliy trtrtft lored and die neglected. But in die mftin it has awarded them no shai i of fame and fortune. To tha t elase of toilers, hoyp3.ver„ ’without patience and skiS the pen of the ro’Jj 'writer weau but slow means of thought, it has been lediftibesal. A large army of men and boysvtid vofing women are now engaged with 'husy fingers and nerves under oontinned; tension in fur nishing.-the reading jubhe with the printcdAlieetr In tkp Rowing they be gin their tasks* with tnfjpsxly dawn that the business man may have afresh sheet when he gathers artr#flF his fireside at evening. But when 'TuSycrowds have left the stroets and reimjjed families are enjoying the luxuriesolnomc, the print r still toils by lamplight that the morn- be not -wiiwiug. These are • nohill-prid as far ss gollars and cents g<v The composing fitii* is a pretty sure, but not an easy mnatis, of winning yooo’s bread. But little bf honor, considering hojf much they do for the pleasure of- individual* and for the progress of society? When we feel the happiness of our wet. enhanced £y the perusal of some c%i;iaing work, we cherish gratitude for Abfc genius that so fittingly set the thoughfs to words that they elevate us witli ripbtions of beauty. But we scarcely think ri the patient toil that is required to print those words that the reading of them would be a pleasure. If the only way of learning ftn author’s tUought# •bjr.dog&ip■ *ring hi cramp ed ohirogr { phy, full df eras 4r* and intirlineatio'ls, few woqhbbo inclined to midortake te task. Yet the printer must do-41us. ( He* must, too, Bear the blame oF tire rrftetSi bad spell ing and bad graotmar, though he is al lowed to share none ’if his prasae. for sound logic or bnllio. t rib>. a The world, oanuot honor fs printers too mueb.„ Tlietr ’l'-ks oome nearer than anything e*e oi being that lever of wliiok the Byracusan dreamed. A LITTLE HEED. That “tall oaks from little aoorns grow” is illustrated by the following statement of a correspondent of the Interior: “About the year 1882, I rode,” he says, “ from Philadelphiaon tho first railroad-oar that ever ran from that city. We made a pleasure trip of five miles to Germantown) the extent of the road. The roils were laid on oblong blocks of stone, squared and rising six or eight inches out of the ground. “ The carriage was omnibus-fashion, filled with passengers above and below, and drawn by horse-power. It was a great novelty, and we were all de lighted. “ The project of this road had been a matter of great interest, and the stock ■was eagerly sought. The subscription was taken in a building at the northeast corner of Market and, I think, Second streets. I was looking on at a distance. “ A crowd had colleoted outside of the building, and, not waiting to hand the subscriptions in at the window, suddenly the sash flew up, and through it pell mell want the subscribers themselves, crowding the passage with a rapid cur rent of wriggling humanity, heels, heads and albowf confused. “ All this excitement about a five-mils horse-railroad J And. io wonder. It was prophetic, tothat little seed lay aomprsssed that spark of energy which shot forth the great Pennsylvania sys tem ef railroads te shakt sleep out cf a woyoEnre a atothlM s feeling*. A burglar entered a house in whioh a mother was sitting up with a sick child. “Sir,” she said in a whisper, as soon as she could compose herself to speak, “ there is nothing ef value in this house except that child’s life, at least to me, but you may find otherwise. Here, take my keys, search everywhere, take what you want, but speedily and without noise, I implore you.” She handed him the keys, placed her fiuger to her lip, and pointed to the door. The-burglar moved quietly away, then fitVn&f and said in a low voice: “Is he very sick 1 ” “ His life bangs on the continuance of this sleep.” “ Then he will reoover for all the noise I’ll make,” the robber answered, laying down the keys and noeelessly tak ing his departure, but absolutely noth ing else.— Utica Herald. At Cervia, on the Adriatic sea, the festival of “marrying the sea” was cele brated with great solemnity last month. The Bishop, at the head of a brilliant procession, marched to the edge of the water and cast the wedding ring into the surf, according to the old Venetian style when the Doge “ married ” tile re public to its auuual bride, the Adriatic. jvo ono::it ihkx sfront:. A liar-tender Uways takes the oppo site view ul everything. The other day Mr. Oaltnghor Was in a Qnnrt street sa loon and tip (Ml his chnir back and went oyej and jamihed his head into a msim dor aiid was considerably hurt. The in cident annoyed him, and the bar-tender told him he.hadn't ought to swear. Gal lagher said -that, under the iufluence of sudden pain, five men out of six would swear. The lmr-tender wouldn’t, believe it, and the mailt-was a bet. Then, for the test, Gallagher got an ordinary brick and heated it fearfully hot, and on the marble bar. Now, a brick doesn’t show heaty-eml tlns ufure ifc was not surprising that when Mr. Gruil, came in and saw the brink on the bar lie should pick it up. He, huwever, sthowed I no disposition to put it fh 'his pocket * or do anything else with it. Ho imme diately laid it down, and made frantic gestures and said a number of wicked things. Then in came a butcher, who alse pioked up tho briok and laid it down. He looked around savagely, and, after freeing his mind of pome unholy sentiments, Bifid he hoped ho shouldn’t see as he pre ferred not to be jpeassity of doing murder. The nextpriptiui was a Chinaman, and he rprlrn msyy i>i lof English he knew, and two-ttiMfcbfiwhat he remarked woulffteMe heMfrimproper in a Hiinday-seli(^tl*® , fi[e joined Mr. Gruff and the butcher in suokiug hip fingers and watching for tho next man. He oame in the form of n prominent pol itician, and as ho,placed the brick upon the bar his language sounded like aftar eleetion talk. The kar-teuder began to be nervous, but the next man merely pritneed about and wildly waved his Uajids withont saying a word. It ap peared that he was a dumb man. So the next man would decide tho bet. He wsfc a young man from tho luufixir din • teiets of Mains, and didn’t look like a talkative chap. Bnt when lie got liold ■of that briok his jaw seemed to become loose, and the way he blasphemed even shocked a parrot, and the butcher said he’d give $75 if he could talk like that. Gallagher had won. He rose up and explained tha affair. The six, headed by the young man from Maine, started for him aa.. on<\_iDßP,_ Thejtpullpfl him all over the place. They brushed the ceiling with him, used him for a foot ball, threw him down cellar, tore his clothes off and made him drink water. They said they wanted to see if it would make him swear. It did .—Boston Post, TBF. LAWN AND GROUND*. Most front yards have some attempt at ornamentation, but taste is too often outraged by the indulgence of whims. The rich green of the grass plot is bro ken up and frittered away by numerous single plants or small beds soattered all over the yard. In some instances ever greens are planted in the immediate front of houses, and so near to them that, although they had obtained only a partial growth, the branches are already intruding themselves into th# veranda, thereby not only inconveniencing the residents, but presenting anything else rather than a handsome appearanoe, and threatening, in the course of a few years, to almost entirely exclude the sunlight from that portion of the premises. This is a grave error. Trees, however beau tiful, should never be planted so near the house as to bar out the sunshine. There is no more effectual method of destroy ing their beauty, nor a better plan for introducing #|ease. I have known houses, thus crowded upon by trees of dense foliage, that became so unhealthy as to be regarded almost untenable. Large trees are out of place iu small yards; they should be in keeping with the plat they are intended to Exchange. NON-ROTATION OF THE EARTH. To THU Editob or tub Soixntifio American: You will doubtless think that I am presumptuous when I tell you that I do not believe the earth rotates. My reasons for not believing that the earth turns around every twenty-four hours are simply these : When two ob jects pass each other, going in opposite directions, they pass very quickly, as for instance a bird flying west ought to pass objects upon the earth mnoh more rap idly than when it flies east. But this is not the oese. A bird passes no more rapidly going west than when it flies east; a ball thrown against s bouse in a westerly direction does not rebound any more than when thrown east. You may send s balloon up above your head and let it stand twenty-four hours, and at the expiration of the twenty-four hours the balloon will be directly over your head. I have studied the reasons given in astronomy and find nothing to refute my observations. Hoping, if 1 am wrong, you will write to me and set me right, I am yours, etc., T. A Kiexi.and, Franconia. Pickens county, Ala, ▲ Wactwn editor found some strnnge looking looking bits of metal in the street, end took them to a jewelry store to ascertaiu what they were. The stuff turned out to be inouey.— Peak'* Suit, OSSSS?I3E2IS VOL. VI. -NO. 31. rniXTER*' B ULLS. HidifUOMM JSlimdmr* Mad* by Compositor* 'and Proof-Rradrrt. Among the most amusing things in Newspapers are the blunders which the intelligent compositors, ably assisted by oarelee* editing and sleepy proof-rend ers, frequently lugs ip by the ear. The most carefully edited journal fs fallible in this direction. Proof- readers am eon atantly in hot rotter. In the Loudon Times' office they are fined for every blunder that eludes them. Ou the New York Herald they have been suspended for weeks. In spite of this severe dis cipline, tho Herald made the. astoaifh ing.announcement Unit “ a long line of scorpions’ feathers filed ifTtdfte cftnnsh,' instead of “sriipff&d A ro porter on that paper had occasion to fjurfte a verse.from a familiar hymn in which the word “herald” occurred. The proof-reader dutifully underscored th ‘ word, and tho verse appeared, “ Hark, the sing.” It was in the Worlds report of a political meeting that tfie word “shouts" wor so ludicrous- ly misprinted as to make tho blunder famous, " The snoute of 10,000 Demo crats rent the air,” read the report. A few year* ago the journalist who is wide ly known as “Oath,” wrote a Fourth of July article. With fervid eloquence he told how tlie effete monarchies of the Old World trembled in their boots when they read the immortal declaration penned by Thcmas Jefferson. "Thrones reeled,” wrote the impassioned Oath. Next morning he wished he hadn’t, when he saw in cold typo, “ Thomas reeled." A local reporter recontly wrote that Dr. Talmage dosed his services with the hymn, “Nearer, by God, 'io Thee.” The malicious blunder was oaught on tho fly in the proof-room, and didn’t get Into tiie paper. A daily paper np the Hudson reported the speech of. a Fourth of July orator, in which he had some taaaty about the “flat of the Almighty.” The proof-reader had never heard si “flat money,’ ’ and ho was willing to bet his week’s wQgut there was no sufh word in the vernacular. So he printed it, “the fist of the Almighty.” At the time of tho Meeker massacre, a dispatch from the West attributed the mutiny to the farmershaving “pulled down the In dians’ tents and corrals.” It was put into type as “having pulled ddwn Use Indians’ beets and carrot* ” The Win. nepeg Times, on the death awhile ago of a right-re verond, for "the death of a prolate” printed “the death of a pirate.” A Cardiff newspaper, in reporting the sermon of the Rev. Dr. Mollor before the Congregational Union, where the reverend gentleman spoke of “ women clothed with sanctity,” by an unforthnate transposition of tho “o” printed the phrase “women clothed with soantity.” The story is told that Ernest Renan last winter hod occasion to telegraph across tho British channel the subject of a proposed lecture of his-in Westminster abbey. The subject us written by him, woe “The Influence of Rome ou the Formation of Christianity.” It was published in England as “Tle Influence of Rum on tho Digestion of Humanity." Thu man who gave his name to that instrument ot death known as the “ Bowie-knife” is receiving much atten tion nowadays in the way of remin iscences of his remarkable career as an adventurer. He was a tough citizen was James Bowie, but he had a sense of jus tice in his heart that gave him a charac ter among those who doprocated his murderous ways. He made the original bowie-knife while lying upon a sick-bed, laid up with wounds received in a “ con troversy,” and fashioned the weapon for purposes of revenge. It was made of a large saw-mill file. A good story is told of him in Texas. He entered a church in one of the new towns and found a clergyman trying to preach to an audience part of whom were anxious to listen and the sther part bent upon sport. When he announced his text and attempted to preach one man brayed in imitation of an ass, another hooted like an owl, eto. Ho disliked to be driven from his purpose, and attempted again to preach, but was stopped by the same species of interruption. He stood silent and still, not knowing whether to vacate the pulpit or not. Finally a man whom he did not know arose and with stentorian voice said : “ Men, this man has come here to preach to you. Tou need preaching to, and I’ll be if he shan’t preach to you 1 The next man that disturbs him shall fight me. My name is Jim Bowie.” The preacher said that after this announcement he never had a more attentive and respect ful audience, so much influence had Bowie over ths* reekless and dangerous el ament. lx is no test of amiability to be good natured in the few and rare momenta of serenity when all human troubles seem to have subsided. It is the man who, when troubled himself, can preserve s calm and cheerful exterior to cheer those around him j who, when oppressed by sans, has yet an encouraging word for his brother; when disappointed him self, has yet the disposition to point out to others the star of hope in their hori zon, who may be most oonfidently do scribed ass really smisbis men. lE^rSSSSI where will sk* b sells fas sees Ik* again f A Natch snfa—Oue put up where the small boy can’t gat at Ik Tax atom maple sugar is now ka*ra Tn telephone has developed an en tirely new school of hello cation. Nature abboss a vacuum. That is the reason them aresomauy fool* in the world. Dame Nature was bound to fill Uadies probably think that bongs are Willing. They are sometimes fatal. The oup that Goliath got in the forehead did the business for him. Wisconsin wolves have become so hard up fo<- provender that they chaos young men who port their hair in the centre, lUp dear, pet lambs! Thu following is. a. true copy of a sign on an acauetsy out West; Freeman* Huggi, aohool teachers. ‘Freeman -teaciias the boys and Hugga thagjrls. Mbs. Or iMUm MsMUßutshas arrive-1 in the city. jfer friends think her the ersme.de to f*n*aa, but her thinfa diflfamutty.— Jlepub a sacs* * p “J<m wist relation to jug)gp that oM tMMdmssr I saw you with this momiigr?” “Oh, no*mush; hn's mar ried to my grandparents’ only daughter.” “ Yrm don’t know hew glad I ram to see you, Clara, dear. ” “Oh, yes, I do, ” replied Clara dear; “Johnny told me that he heard you say yarn would rather die than see me.” *a * t ' Mother —“ Now, Gerty, be -a good gW, and give Aunt Jnlis a kisTand say good night.” Gerty—“ Mb, no I if I kiss her she’ll box my eatt, like she did papa's lost night.” Inspirations Come to writers without the least warning, and in all sorts of places. The foll&wlng must have struok the oditoi of the Rochester Express while he was getting his hair ourled: ‘“lt is not necessary for a man to keep his mug at the barber’s shop, but he must take it there to be shaved.” A gentleman from the North waa spending the evening with a Galveston gentleman whose acquaintance he had made. On reaching the house the stran ger asked: “Have you any old Texaa relics or curioaittm 1” “ Certainly, ” was the reply; “allow me to make you acquainted with my mother in-lsw, (bxkvextm News. “Those eigars I bought hare yester day wore mighty bad.” Dealer— “ Bod? Why, sir, I’ve sold thousands god thou sands of thorn cigars, and you’re the first one to Anil fault with them.” Ous ■ turner—“ I don’t know anything about that, tflft I know that when I tried to smoko—--” Dealer—“ Ah, I see, I seel That’s where yon made * mistake. 1 supposed yon wanted them to treat your friends with. I thought there must be some ads take about ik” wnippfrvo crttT.nnmr. A parent who cannot govern a child without whipping it ought to surrender the oftre of that child' to some wiser per son. Sportsmen once thought it neces sary to lash their dogs in tracing them for tho Held. They know now that the whip should never bo used. Horsemen once thought that it was necessary to whip colts to teach them to start at the word and pull steadily. They know now that an apple is letter than the lash and a caress better than a blow. If dogs and horses gun bo thus educated with out punishment, what is there in our children which mnkch’it necessary to slap and pound thorn ? Have they less in telligence? Have they colder hearts? Are they any lower in the scale of being? We have hoard many old people say : “If we were to bring up uuother child we sliould never whip it.” They are wise, but a little too iato. Instead of God doing so little for -children that they must ho whipped to goodness, He has done so much for them that even a whipping can’t ruin them—that is, as a rule. But alas, there are many exceptions to this rale. Many children are of suoh quality that a blow makes them cowardly, or reckless, or deceitful, or permanently ugly. Whipping makes children lie. Whipping makes them hate their par ents. Whipping makes home on pleasant —makes the boys run away, makes the girls seek happiness anywhere and anyhow. Whipping is barbarous Don’t whip. e When a Western editor becomes in dignant there is no end to his sarcasm and fury. The editor of the St. Louis Pont-Dispatch refers to a contemporary by saying : “ Since the humorous editor of the Republican took to wearing a liver pad at the back of his head he has developed wonderfully.” And a Leav enworth (Kan.) editor, speaking of an odious rival, says : “ He was not bom to be clubbed or shot to death. A higher fate (about twenty feet) awaits him, and it is a consciousness of this that harrows his soul by day and shadows his dreams by night, till his mind, what little he has, is overcome by a morbid sensitive ness that sees the ghosts of his murdered victims behind every corner, and an offi cer in every bush. Let him alone. He is undergoing, every day that he lives, the expiation of his crimes, unmistakably evidenced in the fires of hell that burn in his heart and flame out in his face. Outraged law and nature are gradually getting even with him." Thai* your son up to the editorial business, and he will never bsooms a defaulter. With the exception of pasts and pencils, there is little for the nat ural-bom defaulter te default,— No*m York OommoroM Afrtrttotr.