Newspaper Page Text
COLEMAN & KIRBY, Editors and Proprietors.
ELLIJaY courier
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY
—BY—
COLEMAN & KIRBY.
Office in the Court House
GENERAL DIRECTORY^
Superior Court meets 3d Monday in
Slay and 2d Monday in November.
Hon. James B Brown, Judge.
George F. Gober, Solicitor General.
COUNTY COURT.
Hon. Thomas F. Greer, Judge.
Moultrie M. Sessions,County Solicitor.
Meets 3d Monday in each month
Court of Ordinary meets first Monday
in each month.
- TOWN COUNCIL.
J. P. Perry, lutendent.
M. McKinney, i. H. Tabor, f n
J. Hunnicutt, J.R. Johnson, j Oom-
W. H, Foster, Town Marshal.
COUNTY OFFICERS.
J. C. Allen, Ordinary,
T. W. Craigo, Clerk Superior Court,
H. M. Bramlett, Sheriff,
J. H. Sharp, Tax Receiver,
G. W. Gates, Tax Collector,
Jag. M. West, Surveyor,
G W. Rice, Coroner,
W. F. Hill, School Commissioner.
The County Board of Education meets
at Ellijay the Ist Tuesday in January
April, July and October.
JUBTICES’ COURTS.
850th Dist. G. M., Ellijay. Ist Thurs
day, A. J. Dooley, J. P., G. H. Randell,
N. P.
864th Dist. G. M., Tickaneteby, Ist
Saturday, J. C, Anderson, J. P., J v\
Parker, N. P.
907 tn Dist. G. M., Boardtown, 4th
Saturday, J S. Smith, J. P., W. E
Chancey, N. P.
932d Diet. G. M , Cartecay, 4th Sat
urday, S. D. Allen, L. M. Simmons, N.
958th G. M., Mountaintown, 4th Sat
urday, J. M. Painter, J. P,, J. W. Witli
erow, N. P.
1009th Dist. G. M., Tails Creek, 3rd
Saturday, Cicero M. Tatum, J. P.,'lhos.
Ratcliff, N. P.
1035th Dist. G. M., Teacher, Ist Sat
urday. Joseph Watkins, J. P. r Jos. P.
Ellis, N. P.
It 91st Dist. G. M., Ball Ground, 2d
Sat-'uxbjjt, JL M. Ji I*., jlV’i
P. l- vans. N. P.
1135th Dist, G. J!., Town-Creek, 2d
Saturday, E. Busseil, J. P., John 1.
Keeler, > . P.
1136th Dist. G. M., Cherry Tog, Ist
Saturday, John H.Whitner, P. J. M.
Ward, fs. P.
1274th Dist. G. M., Ridgeaw.iv, 2d
Satmday John M. Quarle-, J. P , W.
I. O. Moore, IS'. P.
1302d Dist. G. M., Coosawattee, 3d
Saturday, M. C. Blankenship, J. P., A
J. Hensley, N. P.
13415 t Dist. G. M., Diamond 2d Sat
urday, W. 1 >. Sparks, J. P., Jesse Hold
en, N. P.
1355th Dist,, G. M., Alto, 2d Satur
day, Maxwell Chastain, J. P., B. H. An
dersoD, N. P.
RFLIGIOUS SERVICES.
Methodist Episcopal Church, South.—
Every 4th t-unday and Saturday before,
by Rev. C. M. Ledbetter.
Baptist Church—Every 2nd Saturday
and Sunday, bv Rev. N. L Osborn.
Methodist Episcopal Church—Ever.
Ist Saturday and Sunday, by Rev. R
H. Robb.
FRATERNAL RECORD,
Oak Bowery Lodge, No, 81, F. A. M,,
meets first Friday ia each month.
W. A. Cox, W. M.
U B. Greer, S. W.
W. F. Hipp, J. W.
K. Z. Roberts, Treats.
T. W. Craigo, Sec.
W. W. Roberts, Tyler,
T. B. Kirby, S. D.
11. M. Bramlett, J. D.
J. W. HENLEY,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
JASPER GEORGIA
Will practice in ihe Superior Court of the Blue
Ridge Circuit. Prompt attention to a I basi
ns-8 intrusted to liis care.
Lands for Sale, Mines fo, Sale,
TIMBER FDR SAna,
Water Power for Sale,
LEASES NEGOTIATED BY THE
Xortb Geeraia ana Land Mining;
AGEiBJCV.
We are at all times prepared to negoti
ate both purchases and sales of all kinds
of real estate, including Mines, Farms,
and Town property, Water Powers, Ac
Titles to land examined and transcripts
furnished on application at reasonable
cost. Seud for circular, or address
THE
North fiterjia Land and Minins Agency,
ELLIJAY,-GA.
E. W. COLEMAN, Manager.
THOS. F. Attorney.
M. M. Sbmiosi. • E. W. Colima a.
SESSIONS A COLEMAN,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
ELLUAY, OA
Will Brashes In Bins Itl>l| Cirenit, Count*
Court Justiss Court of uilinsr County. Legal
twit ‘'Promptness" in our motto.
THE ELLIJAY COURIER.
The farmers of Oregon sad the Colum
bia valley are feeling exceedingly blue,
and all branches of industry in that
region are greatly depressed. The-crops
are as abundant as ever, but the distance
to market and high railway freight
charges consume all possible profits. ,
Uncle Sam has $400,000,000 in his
strong box and in this respect .is mot hard
up. But he owes $1,848,000,000 and is,
therefore, $1,448,000,000 behind the
world. Fifty-five millions of people are
his endorsers, however, and his credit is
pretty good the World over. He can get
trusted for anything he wants.
—ag... -----
“This is a wdftderful city of over 850,*
000 souls, and a revelation to me,” writes
Minister Hanna from Buenos Ayres,
South America. “There is mare money
here than in any place I ever saw, but
just now they are having our greenback
days oTer again, gold being Worth 41$.
It is the most extravagant government on
earth.” '
The “ordeal bean” of Madagascar,
which innocent people are supposed to
be able to eat with impunity, though it
is sure death to criminals, is described as
being a very poisonous drug which kills
by arresting the respiration. Neverthe
less, the chemists are working it up into
anew mectKflne, and one investigator
hopes to make it useful lb palsy and
Other nervous troubles
There is a man in South Lewiston,
Maine, who is 84 years old. Last- winter he
lost the u3ts-a£-4U3,-eye, but did not dis
cover it until spring. He went into the
field, one flay in spring time, and noticed
that things looked passing strange. He
clapped his hand to one eye, and blank
darkness ensued. One eye was totally
blind, and the strangest part of all is
that it had not pained him, and he had
not known it before.
India rubber is menaced with a rival.
The rubber dealers of Eastern Nicaragua
think they have discovered a tree whose
gum will give l * as much satisfaction as
rubber, and will, in fact, take its place.
They say 'that the milk of the lu:no fur
nishes a most excellent gutta percha,
equal to the best found in the Eastern
tropics, while the number of trees is
virtually inexhaustible, and the gum can
be produced with profit at twelve cents a
pound.
Several medical writers have lately
called attention to the fact thot although
there is a marked diminution of drunk
enness in England, the use of powerful
narcotic and stimulating drugs has large
ly increased. Even nitro-glycerine, a
comparatively new medicine, has found
its devotees. The Lancet says: “Since
the introduction of nitro-glycerine tab
lets into the British pharmacopoeia the
use of the drug has increased to an enor
mous extent, and it is to be feared that
its manufacture is carried on surrepti
tiously. ”
A traveler, Wyatt Gill, says: “lam
interested in the discussion going on at
home about fish as food for the brain.
For years past there have been annually
resident in the training institution at
Raratonga from fifty to seventy natives of
the various islands of the South Pacific.
The most quick-witted students come
from low coral islands and have grown
to manhood on a diet of fish and cocoa
nuts. In muscular strength, however,
and in the power of endurance, they are
decidedly inferior to the inhabitants of
volcanic islands who used a mixed diet.”
A New York clergyman said the four
great difficulties which confront clergy
men in a large city are the centralization
of churches; the rush of business and
pleasure, and often silly and childish
pleasures; the crowded and shifting pop
ulation ; and the tendency to sensational
ism. This, observes an exchange, is like
the thirty-eight reasons which a mayor
gave for not firing a cannon when the
king entered the city. “The first is,
your majesty, we hadn’t any powder;
the second, we hadn’t any cannon; the
third”—tout here the king shut him up.
Of the 380 Senators, Representatives
and delegates catalogued in the Congres
sional directory, 208 received only an or
dinary or academic education, 151 went
through college, four are West Pointers
and six are self-educated. Harvard has
eight graduates enrolled, University of
Virginia seven, Princeton six, Yale Mi
ami and Michigan five each, Union four,
Bowdoin three, Dartmouth, Hamilton,
Amherst, Wilburns and Trinity, two
each. There are 274 lawyers, forty busi
ness men, twenty farmers, ten editors
and ten doctors, There are eighty-six
veterans of the Union army, Sixty-seven
Confederate veterans and four ex-mem
of the United States navy.
“A. Map of Busy Life-Its Fluctuations and its Vast Concerns.”
DON’T YOU THINK SOT
It’s all very well to be jolly
When everything’s goinjfjust right;
When, in Summer skies showing no hint of
A shadow, the sun’s shining bright;
When around you your merry friends cluster
With many a laugh-bringing jest,
And wherever you turn you discover
The world in its gala robes dressed
Bnt, ah! ’tis sublime to be jolly
When mirth-loving spirits have fled;
When your path is in gloominess shrouded,
And the tempest bursts over your head;
When fainter hearts beg you to cheer them,
Though your own heart be lonely and drear,
And you scarce can help doubting if ever
The darkness will quite disappear.
The bird that sings sweetly when golden
The earth is and gentle the wind,
When the bees hum their joy o’er the honey
That, hid fh the flowers, they find,
When, vying in beauty and fragrance,
Red roses and white lilies grow,
And butterflies, splendid in raiment,
Through their airy realm flit to and fro.
Is a dear little songster; but dearer
Is the bird that its joy-giving strain
Undaunted trills loudly and gayly
In spite of the chill and the rain;
For that to be jolly *tis easy
In sunshine there isn’t a doubt;
But, ah! 'tis sublime to be jolly
When there’s naught to be jolly about.
—Margaret Ry tinge. in Harper's Weekly.
DAVID DOWNING.
BY PHILIP BOURKE MARBTON.
Music was the passion of David Down
ing’s life. Asa boy he had cared for
nothing else. By the time he was fifteen
there was scarcely a musical instrument
on which he had not experimented. He
had constructed not a few for himself.
The two instruments which finally van
quished all others in his regard were the
organ and the violin. His father was a
country clergyman, and the lad was
never so happy as when in the organ-loft
listening to the long-swelling bass note,
or the tender pleading of the flute-like
stops. Of course he was happiest when
making the music come himself. Often,
in the soft summer twilight, ho would
sit there in the church playing and dream
ing. Who shall say of what his dreams
were, and who shall say how much the
mystery of love may be felt from afar, as
by the change in the air one journeying
knows himself to be in the sea’s neigh
borhood, though not as yet within sight
or sound of it?
There are two powers from which no
““M®* ttod4hfiy-are4ow!
death. David was twenty-five when he
fell desperately in love with the slender,
exquisite shape, the proud, animated
face, the eyes like some blue mountain
stream which mind and sunlight surprise
together—fell in love with the beautiful
hair which Swinburne well describes
when he writes :
“And her hair had the sea’s wave and the
sea’s gold in it.”
Fell in love with the voice, with its sub
tle urgency of music; fell in love with
the bright spirit, the fervent heart, which
•with all the other charms I have touched
on, made up the whole of Rose Cameron.
They loved in June, and felt the
witchery of long, lingering twilights,
| "when grass and flowers get so glad of
the dew and the moonlight. All these
were part of their love, and added to its
I romance, surely.
In October they married, and they had
’ not been married long when troubles
came. Rose had been a spoilt child, and
: would brook no restraint; and her inde
: pendent ways troubled David for her
safety. He had often to go to town on
business, and he had objected to a grow
j intimacy between herself and acer
! tffin Captain Selden, whose reputation
was not of too clean a nature. It ended
by his forbidding Selden the house. This
led to a violent altercation; but a worse
scene came later, when David discovered
that his young wife had been audacious
ly taking walks with the forbidden cap
tain. Then he did lose his temper, and
spoke as if he had worse to complain of
than merely her self-will in going con
. trary to his wishes, and choosing a friend
for herself jn spite of a jealousy she
thought unjust. Mrs. Downing turned
very white, and left the room. A trap
was at the door to take her husband to
Hie He sprang up, struck the
horse sharply, and rattled away just in
time to catch his train.
He was unhappy all day in London.
He would have given much that Rose
had not deceived him, but he would have
given more still not so to have lost his
temper. It was April then, and they
had been married just half a year. It
was a cold night when he got back to
Dover, where they lived, he officiating as
organist to one of the chief churches.
Throughout the day it had thundered
and lightened at intervals, but an easter
ly wind had sprung up and swept the
sky clear, in which a moon, bright and
sharp-looking as a scimiter, seemed to
<nvide the windy darkness. He heard
the roll and boom of the large spring
waves as he skirted the beach over which
he could hear someone trampling heavi
ly- The light in his dining-room shone
cheerfully from behind closely drawn
red curtains. Rose was not in the dining
room, but on the table, addressed to him
self, lay a note, in her well-known hand
writing. He broke the seal and read:
“Y°u have insulted me so grossly that
I will live with you no more. I have
taken with me what I need. I shall go
to friends out of England, where any at
tempt on your part to find me would be
worse than useless. You have made me
feel, David Downing, that I hate you!
I was your wife, but never your slave!”
He read the letter over two or three
times; then he questioned the servants;
but they could give him little informa
tion, except that their mistress had goue
out with her maid in the afternoon, the
maid currying a good-sized bag and Mrs.
Downing one of the smallest dimensions.
ELLIJAY, GA.. THURSDAY MARCH U.IBBG
The lady was thickly veiled, and wore a
dark-violet waterproof. The boat had
left for France about an hour ago.
Daniel Downing went down and
questioned people on the pier, but no
one answering to the description of Mrs.
Downing had been seen. He went to
the sfation, but could hear nothing of
her there. He wandered, for some time,
aimlessly about the windy streets, per
vada at that time by a briny smell.
Therwwas a sense upon him. as if he had
lost her in the wind, somehow.
Thsjk he came back and shut himself
up altske, with his fancy and his memory
of her J That chair in which she used to
sit, wafe it quite—quite empty? Listen!
was not that her light footfall on the
floor? jWas not that the soft stir of her
dress?; He was dazed; yet in time he
rose and went upstairs to her bedroom to
see juat what she had taken. He opened
the wardrobe. There was hanging the
dress She had worn only the day before;
and, flee, the violets she had pinned into
the boipom of it were there still. He put
his lip* to the gown which had once been
infornfbd with the beauty of her shape.
It brojte him down, and he wept as only
strongmen sore stricken can weep; but
the teirs did not avert brain fever, which
ensuedthe next day.
It was a desperately severe and pro
longed attack. He recovered; but, alas 1
to finejf himself for ever in darkness, the
optic Serves having been withered as by
fire. T|ie blow was, indeed, a terrible one.
Not otjly had he lost her who was the
delight of his eyes, but he had lost those
eyes, tfto. Nothing was left to him then
but hie music; for, before very long,
with milch practice, he got to play near
ly as vfell as in the old days.
He Lore his troubles bravely, but
twenty, years did not materially lessen
them. • At forty-five he was white
haired! and walked with bowed shoul
ders. 1 The face told of sorrow, but not
of bitificness. He was in his forty-sixth
year when he took the position of organ
ist in one of the cathedral towns. Such
a post Ihe had long desired. He mode
fast fr|bn<3> with some people of the name
of Taylor, and it was at their house that
he became acquainted with Ursula Dain
court, a low-voiced, charming girl of
twenty, and just as sweet as violets are.
You could not see, or hear her, or even
feel her near, without their fragrance be
ing suggested. If Downing (lid not see,
he heard and felt the sense of her pres
ence. She loved his music, and they be
came great friends. He played to her;
she rear, to him; being, as he was, fond
of poetry; and they walked together. In
this po* tion there was nothing sentimen
tal. -4|s.: UlcLhim. She wan-sorry for
him, and to do gracious acts was os nat
ural to her as it' is to a rose
to prosper in sunshine. They walked
together in the Close, they sat together
in the organ-loft, and no one talked fool
ishly. For one thing, Downing looked
so much older than he really was. One
early June evening he was practicing,
when he paused in his music, feeling
someone near. Then the tender voice
he knew so well asked :
“May I come up?”
“Need you ask? but wait till I hold
you a hand. Those steps are difficult to
get up!”
“Yes; I should probably get on badly
without your assistance.”
In a moment more her hand was in his,
and he was soon pointing out to her, as
he delighted to do, the mysteries of his
beloved organ.
“You are not well to-night,” he said,
in distressed tones, noting that a great
shivering fit was on her. She answered,
with a forced laugh, that she was only
cold. He touched her hands, and found
them burning. She was on a visit to her
friends the Taylors, whither he would
have taken her at once, had she not
pleaded hard for a little more music.
“If I am going to be ill, and this
should be the last time,” she said, be
tween laughing and crying, “you would
like to think that I had my way.”
Surely, he thought, his heart failing
him, he was not going to lose this sweet
friend, as he had lost his eyes and his
loved 1 He played, but she did not respond.
She had fallen into an uneasy sleep, and
was moaning piteously, as if conscious of
some vague distress. With a heavy
heart David left the organ-loft and pro
cured assistance; had a carriage sent for,
and conveyed Ursula to her friend’s
house. He called later on, to hear the
doctor’s report, which for some days was
uncertain. A wasting, low fever was at
length declared. Exhaustion was the
chief danger to be dreaded. Those were
days of double darkness for Downing.
He begged to be allowed to speak to her,
but permission was declined on the
ground of infection.
“But would it be bad for her?” he
had asked of Taylor.
“No, not bad for her; but we can’t
have you risking things; beside, if you
fell ill, we should have to nurse you;
and we have our hands quite full enough
‘as it is.”
But Downing was a wily man. He
called one day, and was informed that
Mr. Taylor had gone to London, and
Mrs. Taylor was lying down. He said
he would rest a little while. Then he
went into the hall and listened. The
house was not a large one. The day was
chill for June. From a room on the first
landing came the sound of a fire softly
stirred This was all he wanted; he had
a clew. Light-footed as a thief, he
climbed the stairs. He found a door to
his sight, and listened again. From be
hind it there was a low sound of voices,
and somebody sighing as in great weari
ness. Then the voice he knew well said:
“Oh, I shall be so glad if ever people
may came to see me. I wonder, nurse,
if I am going to get better or to die?”
He opened the door and went in gen
tly, saying:
“Well, here is one visitor. ‘Where
there is no fear, there is no danger,’ so
you must not mind. I did want to come
and see how my dear child was getting
on. I want to sit by you and hold your
hand.”
“Oh, you should not have come; but I
am glad to see you. Mamma is with me
now, but she is resting. Do my hands
burn very much?”
“Scarcely at all. lam sure you are
better. ”
With his hand holding hers, she seemed
to grow much more composed, and
after a little while fell into a refreshing
sleep.
Once the door opened, and someone
came in and remained some time, stand
ing by the bed, and then went out with
no word. From that day Ursula im
proved rapidly, and was soon pronounced
out of danger. She began to laugh, and
be almost her old bright self. She would
give David her wrists to span with his
lithe, strong fingers, and “My arms are
thin, but they will be pretty again when
I grow quite strong,” she said.
One day, when they were alone to
gether, the nurse being absent for a brief
while, someone came in and stood by
the bed, and so close by the chair on
which David was sitting, that he felt a
woman’s dress brush his knee; and was
not that the touch of a woman’s hand on
his? Not Ursula’s poor little wasted
palm, but a firm, cool, magnetic touch.
And what is this but someone kneeling
by him, and warm tears falling on his
hands?
“Rose!” with a great gasp.
“David, can you forgive me? Indeed
I did not know how things had gone.
Your words stung me, and having left
you, I was too proud to come back.
From what our child here has told
me—”
“Our child?”
“Born three months after I left you.
From what she told me when I came
here, I thought it must be you; and oh,
my dear, my dear, when I came in and
saw you sitting by the bed, our child’s
hand in yours, and stood close to you,
and you did not know me, I thought my
heart would break with very passion of
tenderness. David”—and her voice was
uncertain—“may I come home?”
“Of your own free will?”
“Because I love you,and always have.”
“My darling!” he said, and putting his
arms around her neck, drew her head
down upon his shoulder.
“And she is just as beautiful as ever
she was,” said Ursula, in a voice which
revealed decided traces of a joyful emo
tion, that young person having been
taken into confidence by her mother.
When Rose left her husband, she
adopted the old family name of Dam
court. What Ursula said was very ncar
ly trim. Mrs Downing,,at forty! was a
very beautiful and unusually young
looking woman for her years. After all,
a very happy man for many a long year
to come was David Downing.
The Shah’s Wives and the Consul.
The following extract is from a report
made by S. G. W. Benjamin, lately
United States minister to Persia:
“I have the honor to report that on the
12th of June I was riding out to the
country from Teheran in a carriage, on
the way to the summer quarters of the
legation. I was accompanied by my
daughter. According to the custom of
the country, the carriage was preceded
by two outriders. The other legations
on such an occasion take four to eight
outriders, a matter of necessity as well as
of display in Persia. As we approached
a half-way coffee house I observed a line
of carriages waiting by the roadside in
the shade. As it is very common for
such vehicles to be seen standing there,
while the occupants are taking a smoke,
I had no idea that any precaution needed
to be taken. I was greatly surprised,
therefore, to see a troop of mounted cav
alry rush out from the shade of the trees
and make a violent attack upon my out
riders, who immediately cried out several
times that the United States minister was
in the carriage and had the right of way.
“I now recognized the soldiers to be
long to the royal guard, and immediately
after perceived that the wives of the
shah were in the carriage. Although
having officially the absolute right to
pass, allowed to none, except ministers
and their families at the risk of imme
diate death to all others, I ordered my
driver to stop in order to give an officer
opportunity to come to the carriage to
apologise for the attack and escort us
safely through the guards stationed in
front and rear of the royal harem. But
as no attention seemed to be paid to this,
I ordered my men to keep on, thus throw
ing the responsibility of any results on
the guards, who, not satisfied with beat
ing the outriders with the flat of their
swords, swarmed around the carriage it
self with loud cries and flourishing their
weapons. The lieutenant of the troop
seized the carriage horses, others struck
and thrust at the horses, and two even
struck the driver himself. Fortunately
the man was alike skilful and intrepid,
and succeeded in both controlling the
horses and driving us safely out of the
disagreeable melee that at one moment
threatened serious results. The number
of men attacking was about twenty. It
it proper to add that when the chief lady
of the harem saw what was going on she
despatched a eunuch to escort us through
the lines, but he did not arrive until the
attack was nearly ended. All my men
and horses were more or less bruised, and
one of the men had his arm nearly
broken. They all behaved well.”
Mr. Benjamin furthermore reports that
he demanded “the prompt chastisement"
of the offender, which was ordered, and
ample apologies were made by the Per
sian office, and tendered to him.
The telegraph system of the British
Islands, now under control of the post
office, now amounts to 130,000 miles and
employs 17,000 instruments. The
standard rate is twelve words for six
pence, address included. Press mes
sages now sverage a million words a day.
YOL. X. NO. 52.
ABSOLVED.
I who have worshiped beauty long
Beheld a woman’s face to-night
That thrilled my being into song
And touched my soul with sudden light;
And yet, perchance, had you been there
You scarcely would have called it fair.
Gray eyes that held a subtle shade
Of mdness that was half expressed,
Lips that for laughter were not made—
Perhaps by Pain’s white finger pressed
To patient silence. All of art
Sank down abashed within my heart.
Ah, life has one high lesson yet
That I have learned of womanhood—
Tis when we lose and we forget
The beautiful within the gyod;
Tis when the senses swoon to see
The soul's surpassing mystery;
Like moonlight comes a calm content
With larger hope and pulrer love,
A memory of the form that beat
Thro’ nights of fevered pain above
The cot of childhood. Better so
For this brief vision 1 may go
Once more into the world like him
Who has been pardoned. Lol he kneels
And murmurs in the cloister dim,
“My father, I have sinned!” He feels
The craving of the spirit cease
Soothed by the answer, “Go in peace!”
—Edward F. MoPhelim,in Chicago 7Vt6un*.
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
Always brings down the house—A
cyclone.
We may not like hotel-keepers, but we
have to put up with them. —Detroit Free
Press.
Because the baby is a little yeller it’s
no sign he is a Chinaman.— Palmer
Journal.
Coffee is said to cause almost as much
heart trouble as cupid. Both have
grounds for it.— New York Journal.
A Southern chiropodist is worth
$15,000. It is rare that a man amasses
such a fortune from achers not heredit
ary.—Life.
A woman has invented a window and
had it panted. Now who will invent a
posthole and get a patent on it?— Alta
California.
Let dogs delight to bark and bite,
For ’tis their nature to.
But boys and girls should seek in flight,
Green fields and Pasteurs new.
—Atlanta Constitution.
With a population of %HD,OfIjkOOO
Cbimhps no W a singly mums,
easily, explained by the fact that all the
Chinese paupers come to this country.—
New York Graphic.
It makes a man hysterical
And likewise mean and queer,
When the snow that’s squeezed till it’s spheri
cal
Takes him just behind the ear.
— Puck.
“Did you get any birthday presents,
George?” ‘Yes, my wife’s mother—
bless her—gave me a very valuable one. ”
“What was it?” “Why, she went away
yesterday morning.”— Chicago News.
Someone advertises in a Philadelphia
paper for “a young man to play a piano
—white or colored.” We never saw a
white piano, but it seems there is such a
breed in the market. —Norristown
Herald.
Definition.—“ Mother,” said a little
Rockland girl,looking up from her book,
“what does transatlantic mean?” “Oh,
across the Atlantic, of course. Don’t
bother me, you made me forget my
count.” “Does trans always mean
across?” “I suppose it docs. If you
don’t stop bothering me with your ques
tions you’ll go to bed.” “Then does
transparent mean a cross parent?” Ten
minutes later she was resting in her lit
tle couch.— Rockland Courier.
A Few Long Words.
A correspondent has asked for the long
est word in the English language. There
have been a large number of answers,
some of them guite amusing. Here is a
list of words, with the number of letters
in each:
Philopr ogeniti veness 20
Incomprehensibleness 20
Disproportionableness 21
Honoriflcibilitudinity 22
Velocipedestrianistical 23
Transubstant ionableness 21
Proantitionsubstantionist 23
Only the first three words are to be
found in the last edition of Webster’s
dictionary, and disportionablenesss un
doubtedly is the longest word in that vol
ume. The correspondent who originated
honorificibilitudinity defines it as honor
ableness, but it certainly has not honor
ableness enough to entitle it to a nest in
the unabridged. Velocipedestrianistical
likewise lacks age and respectability, but
it may find its way into Webster in time;
it certainly has good locomotive powers.
Suticonstitutionalist is doubtful, and we
do not believe even a mandamus would
get it into the dictionary. Transubstan
tionableness might get there if Web
ster wasn’t looking. The man who in
vented proantitionsubstantionist says
it is a good English word “derived from
a short and simple Latin root, and means
one who dissents from the doctrine of
dogma of the so-called * real presence.”
That may all be, but he ought to be con
demned to pronounce the word twice a
day os long as he lives if he tries to in
troduce it into the speech of honest
men.
But speaking of long words, what is
the matter with Llanfairwllgvngyllger
trobwUgerchwyrmbyllgogerbwllzanttosi •
liogogogoch, the name of a village in
Wales.— Rochester Post and Repress.
Out of twenty-four horses that have
trotted in less than 8:30 during the year,
seventeen are direct descendants of Haas*
bletonian. Blood will tell.