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COLE MAH * KUBT, Mttm wl Proprietors. vol XI. ELLIJAY courier. PUBLISHED EVEBY THURSDAY —BY— COLEMAN * KIRBY. mr Office in the Oourt House GEHERAL DIBECTORtT Superior Coart meets May- and 2J Monday is October. Hou. James R Brown, Judge. George F. Ooher, Solicitor General. COUNTY COURT. Hon. Tbomss F. Grier, Judge. Monlirie M. ireasions.County Solicitor. Meets 3d Monday in pcnth Court of Urdiuary meets first Monday iu cacb month. town council. J. P. Terry, Intendent. M. McKinney, i. H. Tabor, I „ J. Huuuicutt, J.R. Johnson, j ® om - W. H, Foster, Town Marshal COUNTY OFFlcma. J. C. Alien, Ordinary, T. W. Craigo, Clerk Superior Court, H. M. Bramlett, Sheriff, J. H. Sharp, Tax Receiver, G, W. Gatts, Tax Collector, Jas. M. West, Surveyor, G W. Rice, Coroner, W. F. Hill, School Commissioner. The County Boardof Education meets at Eilijay the Ist Tnraday in January A yiil, July anand REI.IOIOITS SERVICES. Mcthodisf Episcopal Church, South— every 4tli Sunday, and Saturdnv before, Rev. C. M. Ledbetter. Baptist Cliuroh—Every 2nd Saturday and Sunday, by Rev. E. B. Shopc. I Methodist Episcopal Church—F.ver ym urday and Sunday, by Rev. K file Robb. A FRATERNAL RECORD. MOak Bowery Lodge, No 81, F. A. M., Meets first Friday la each month. m\\. A. Cox, W. M. V 1 . B. Greer, S. W. W. F. Hipp, J. W. . R. V. Roberts, Tieia. | T. W. Craigo, Sec. 1 W W. Roberts, Tyler, i. B. Kirby, S. D. . .Vl. Bramlete, J. D. J W. HENLEY, ATTORNEY AT LAW. JAGRER GEORGIA Wi 1 practice in the Superior Cnurl of the Blue Kiilße C rcuit. Prompt attention to a 1 busi ue h intrusted to bit care. U. M. E. W. Colmu* l SESSIONS l COLEMAN, [ATTORNEYS AT LAW, I ELLUAY, QA. E'lL U P ril . c . tieß , in Bino Ki-'ge Circuit, County t Juatice Court of Gilmer County. Lenal Mutneea eoiicited. •‘Promptnesn’’ u our motto. ■ DR. J. S. TANKERSLEY, physician and Surgeon, ■ Ter "i r 5 professional services to the citi ■ens of Euijxj, Giim -r and surrounding oonn ties. All calls promptly at end-d to. Office upstairs over the Arm of Cobb & Sou. KITE WALDO THORNTON, D.D.S. DENTIST, Calhoun, Ua. Will visit Ellijar and Morganton at both the Spriug Rnd Fall term of the Superior Court—and oftener by special contract, when sufficient work is guar anteed to justify me in making the visit. Address aa above. TmavKl-lt ! Young msn Who wish a Thorough preparation foi Business, will fiud superior adrantagesat MOORE'S BUSINESS UNIVERSITY ATLANTA, GA. The largest and best Practical Business Schoo in the South. can enter at ant time. oPSec.d for circular!. CENTRAL HOTEL! Ellijay, Georgia. Ia special popular resort for men and (ouriKts of all kind, and is the general house for prompt aiteutiou, elegant .rooms and are second to none, in this place. Reasonable rates. Mrs. M. V. T *em will give her personal ft {. •nifon to •. nests in the dining hall. 1$ 14 WHITE PATH SPRINGS! —THE— Favorite and Popular Resort oj NORTH GEORGIA! Is situated 6 miles north of E Hi jay on the Marietta & North Georgia Railroad. Accommodations complete, facilities for ease and comfort unexcelled, and the magnificent Mineial Springs is it* chief attraction. For other particulars on board, etc., address, Mbs. W. F. Robertson, EUijay, Gsl Moa;itam View Hotel! ELLIJAY, GA. This Hotel is now fitted up in excel lent order, and is open for the reception of guests, under competent management Every possible effort will be marie to roaise the Mountain View the most popu •r Hotel in Ellijay. Accommodation, in every department first -class. Livery,'sal, eud feed sullies in connection vith hotel. <*’!•*> tisusfered to and from s|| trains fra* of 0 34 ly THE ELLIJAY COURIER. AURANTII Most of the diseases which afflict mankind are allj canned by a disordered condition of the LIVER. Vor all oomplainta of this kind, anch as Torpidity of the Liver, Biliousness, Nervona Dyspepsia, Indices* tkm, Irregularity of the Bowels. Constipation, flatu lency. Eructations and Burning of the Stomach (sometimes called Heartburn). Miasma, Malaria, Bloody Flux, Chills and Fever, Bre&kbone Fever, Exhaustion before or after Fevers, Chronic Diar rhoea. Loos of Appetite, Headache, Foul Breath, Irregularities incidental to Females, Bearing-down Mhe%o., Ac, STIOIGEB'S iUMNTII ia Invaluable. It is not a panacea for all diseases, tat Alipe all diseases of ttw LIVER, will \g\ir\K. STOMACH and BOWELS. It otaaasss tbs complexion from a waxy, yellow Wn*e, to a niddy, healthy color. It entirely removes low. Bloomy spirits, it ia one of the BEST AL TERATIVES and PURIFIERS OF THE BLOOD, and Is A VALUABLE TONIC. STADICER’S AURANTII For eala by all Druggists. Price |.QQ per bottle. O. F. STADICER, Proprietor, •40 80. FRONT ST., Philadelphia, Pm FUST CLASS —Greesrs Keap It I, nit iu yv jiii 4" I j '/* | a ? h liii : i §ll b J * I|J [ljp £* < YTere washed with ELECTRIC LIGHT WAP Without Rubbing. First Claes Housekeepers use it Ist. Washing clothes In thuxusual manner Is decidedly hard work; It erears you ont and tke clothes too. 2d. Try a better plan and invest live cents in a bar of ELECTRIC EIGHT SOAP. Saves Time, Labor, Honey, Fuel and Clothes. Use as dk rested on the wrapper of each bar. —— ORDERS SOLICITED.— ATKINS SOAP CO, INDIANAPOLIS. IND. Automatic Sewing Machine Cos. 72 West 23d St., New York, N.Y. •H * We invite special at tention to our Nbw riiTrr I>ATENT Automatic Tkn- BION Machine, making precisely the same stitch iT as Wilcox & Gibbs, TVr I, - ap( l yet, if net preferred the Wilcox & Gibbs Automatic Tension Ma chiue, can be returned any time within 30 days and money refunded. But what is more remarkable still, we never knew a woman w.iling to do her own family sewing on a shuttle machine after having tiled our New'Patent AUTOMATIC. Even Bhoe Manufacturers find it best suited to their work—its clastic seams are more durable. Truly Automatic Sewing Machines are fast superseding shuttle machines, and it is no use to deny it. Truth is mighty and does prevail. Shuttle Machines have seen thoir best days. Send for Circular . Correspondence solicited, JiAWRENGE PUKE' LINSEED OIL TANARUS) MIXED CUNTS READY FOR USE. *T The Best Paint Made. Guaranteed to contain no water, benzine, barytes, chemicals, rubber, asbestos, rosin, gloss oil, or other similar adulterations. A full guarantee on every package and directions for use, so that any pne not a practical painter can use it. Handsome sample cards, showing 88 beautiful shades, mailed free on application. If not kept by your dealer, -write to us. Btatrtfnltoaskfor “THE LAWRENCE PAINTS.** aid do sot take any other said to be “ as good at LawrMM’l Y m W. W. LAWRENCE & CO., _ PITTSBURGH, PA OUR m PDJMTjVf; t t J . J . ... J.ll . . -li i V.’ DEPARTMENT 1 ffnpultad with all tbe requisites fnr and -f** all kiid of Job an * w ork In F i*t tUu bvyie. Pro , t y nnj sonabis I'iiccm, WEDDING CARDS, VIBITINO CARDS, BUSINESS CARD% BALL CARDS FUSTEna "A map or mutr un-rrs nucruATiom axd its vast cokckbxs . ELLIJAY, GA.. THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 188(1. WE FLING AWAY OUR OOLD. We fling away our gold. Fa*e comfort, pleasure* never beg in vain. FTom starving, homeless ones our mite with held: When scad thus sown might whiten all the plain! ' Wo fling away our gold. We send away our thoughta, away; When, like the gorgeous tapestry inwrought, They might add lustre to each passing day. We send away our thoughts. We throw away our time. That golden gift we never know to prim •Till life's high goal unreached, too weak to climb, The last few moments pass our closing eyes, We throw away our time. We castaway our love— We plant it3 flowers upon life’s shifting sands— 5 We bend the tender blighted biotins above, Watered by tears within durttSble hands— We cast away our love. —Lydia L. A. Very, in Salem Gazette. RUINED BY HIS HAT. ET BENJAMIN NOBTHBOP. j New York, March 1. Dear Tom: lam a fool. No, lam j n ot. Yes, I am. Well, I’ll tell you All f about it, and you can judge for yourself. sussss. Bsusaaaa maiden who summered with the Vander dusens at Newport lost season? Well, she has been with the St. Georges in New York, and I am head over heels in love with her. I have been buzzing . around her like a moth around'& candle ever since snow fell. So has that odious Jenkins. You remember Jenkins? Ho is the same disagreeable wretch he was when you knew hin—rich and good looking, so some foolish women think, though to save my life I cannot see where it comes in. The St. Georges gave a party last week. She was there and so was I. So also was that miserable Jenkins. Some people never do know enough to stay away from where they are not wanted. About 10 o’clock 1 ! asked Miss Spalding to walk wkh me into the conservatory. There we- found a rustic seat in the shade of a big cactus j plant and sat down. After a few minutes ' 1 of embarrassing silence I sighed melt •ngly- “Why do you sigh?” sho asked. “Don’t you know?” 1 replied, mean ingly. i he thought a moment and then re plied: “Yes, I think 1 do.” My heart gave a great bound. diceetjy intb my throat. She Lad noticed my love! My devotion had touched her heart and now I was to receive my re ward ! “It was that chicken salad,” she an swered, in a heartless, cold-blooded tone of voice. “Chicken salad is the worst thing you can possibly eat be: ore retiring, and I saw you last evening eat four dishes.” “Only three,” I interruped; “but,Miss May,” I added, appealingly, “it isn't the salad that makes me sigh.” “.No?” she replied, in that same hard tone that reminded me most forcibly at this unhappy moment of the silver-plated head of the screw which the undertaker makes fust in the casket just at the close of th(>,uneral ceremony. “Then it must havebeen the cream. Salad and cream never go well together.” “Don’t be cruel," I exclaimed, “don’t make sport of me, I beg you. Indeed, it was not anything I have eaten.” “No? Then you must have drank some thing that didn’t agree with you. Really, Mr. Bronson, you should be more careful of yourself. Your are far from strong, you “Miss May,” I cried with deep emo tion, “it wasn’t the tea, the ice-water, the salad, nor yet the biscuits, the cream, the cakes, nor even was that sigh brought out by the coffee. Oh, Miss May, can’t you guess what it is that gives me such pain?” “I am not good at conundrums,” replied Miss Spalding in a way that really did more to derange mv billiary system than if I had eaten all there was on the table the previous evening at a single mouthful. I arose in mute and touching expostulation. “Speaking of conundrums,” she ob served, iu the same wintry tone, “can you tell me what time it is, and where Mr. Jenkins is? He promised to call for me here in ten minutes. It seems to me” —here she placed a marked accent upo.i the “me”—“that I have been here at least an hour and a half.” Then she rose to go. I put out my hand to detain her—as well might I, in my love-lorn folly, have tried to stop Ni agara with a tenuis racquet—but just as my luck would have it, one of those in fernal cactus thorns managed, in the dark, to run itself half way through mv palm. & J “Deuce take it!” I exclaimed, before I realized the strength of my language. “Mr. Bronson! ' she remarked, so frig idly that the poor, unoffending cactus shivered as with a chill. “.Mr. Bronson! will you be kind enough to stand aside so that I may find Mr. .Jenkins?” I followed her instructions without even whispering of their injustice, and she sailed into the brilliancy of the ball room, growing more radiantly beautiful at every 6tep. The door swung back to place leaving me alone in the shadow to nurse my physical suilering and mental agonv. A moment later, be!ore I had time to de termine whether life was worth living, oven for the rest of the evening, and •8 I was about contemplating impaling myself on another of those murderous th< ms, the door opened and closed again. Although my back was turned to it I heard footsteps which I recognized as hers. She had come back, rclentingly, full of sweet penitence to ask my pardon 1 Would I le backward in giving it; That is not r y nature A Imo t before turning around my arms were extended their fuil w dth and I made a plunge through the g ootn towaid the location where I landed she stood. “I lorgive you freely—most freely, my dearest May,” I ejaculated in a singl.- hvoath which had not sp-nt itself beiore my arms had closed, just a lit:la ten. derly, perhaps, around the figure I was Addressing. “Your pardon is granted,” responded n deep base voice ending it-a little ag gravating, snorting laugh. I always nave ha'ed a man who (ported as he laughed, and siace that fight I neger hear a laugh of that sort YHhout having red-handed murder in mf<soul. After the last snort the laugh-owner, who had during this short period Bf silence been struggling to escape mv chop, which his wicked deception had given, tempora rily, the strength and fixedness of a vise l gasped, he said: “But please don’t crush my sh'tt h. som ” It is wdl that the contimptible Jen kins, who was my latest tormentor, had managed to'make his escape by wiggling from between my arms snakily, as fitted his nature, and had ruskod frantically from the room as if he had been haring on interview with a dangerous maniac. I don’t know, old man, .why I didn’t kill him right there. I cda-ld have done it just as easj. And I .don’t think I shall ever have a better chance than then. My heart is set on gore—Jfn kins's gore— and I’ll not be cheated cufiof my revenge this time—not I. Now you know the whale story. An swer my question. Am rot ami not ? Your devoted friend, HatSpv Bronson. No. H.J f M?uch 7, 1888. Dear Old Tom : It wiaawfully good of you to say that I armlet quite u fool, but wait until you read this. Did you ever hear of such frightf* luck as I gen erally have! I left mj office in Park Row yesterday about 2. o'clock. At Blcecker street I met friends and we stopped on the corner. Hero I gave an p’hibltion of my It pk that would make. 4 less sensible man t ike poison and die in agony and a bow-knot in the mid dle of tne floor just as soop as not. A gust of wind on its way uptown from the Battery—harmless, spotivc, in- nocent gust of wind, that had gone two miles and nover touched a hat—swooped down on my new tile and sent it rolling up the Street like a college foot ball on a most disgraceful bender. There is no uso in prolonging the description. The faster I ran the faster the hat rolled through the mud between blockades of street cars and drays, through the crowd* on the pavement a block'or so down a muddy gutter. Finally taking an off shoot it came to a stop iafa pool of water on a side street. Two minutes later eight policemen and several thousand citizens rushed down the thoroughfare and sur rounded me and my hatff if we had been malefactors of more thnßlirdinary promi nence. After running bgjiml an excited and muddy man several Blocks, followed by the popuiat.oa of fivefcr six wards, it is not within a poiicerttjA nature to re sist making an arrest, itffl if I had not submitted to this with a meek ness that Moses would h#o ki ked at, I am sure I would have beta clubbed into thebargam. Heremv syicjcok put its foot in its mouth as usual. After pass ing through a dozen streets or so, fol lowed by the same pestilential gang of idlers, we reached the station house where the Sergeant promptly dicharged me. After wnitrug until the crowd faded out of sight, I rushed to a hat store next door—a cheap, antique store—l bought the only hat in it that fitted me. It looked like a very small and inverted tin pail on top of a very large and wide spread umbrella, only the edges turned up in a roll. If I had worn my trousers in my boots and looked throughly wicked I could have passed for a cowboy even under the experienc and gaze of the' most expert desperado yet UDlianged. Jn my excitement I failed to notice my peculiar appearance, but I thonght I was exercising sagacity beyond my usual wont in choosing au unfrequented thoroughfare to finish my walk, for I did not fancy provoking the curiosity of street car riders, and Broadway with its' crowds seemed unbearable, and there wasn’t a ,cab in sight. Here is where my luck jumped on me again. Before I had gone two blocks, whom should I meet but May Spalding and Miss St. George, who had been evidently indulging in a little inno cent daylight slumming excursion. They did not see me until I was close to them, when, actuated solely by impulse, I tried to raise my newly acquired roof from my head. At this moment Miss Spalding saw me and gave a scream that chilled wlias blood was not already frozen within my person. Remembering my hat when it was, alas', too late, I lied from the spot like a guilty thing. A few doors in ad vance of where I stood when I started in my mad chase to escape from my Nemesis was another hat store. Into this I dashed. Five minutes later I re-entered civiliza tion, the dust brushed from my clothes, the mud scraped from my boots, and my head adorned with the glossiest of stylish tiles. I hastened b ick to where I hsd fright ened my heart’s true love, but they were gone. Half an hour later I saw them again seated on a bench in Union square, listen ing with apparent interest to a man bended over them with his b ick toward me. As I approached them without at tracting their attention, I was enabled, with or without my consent, to overhear their conversation. “Whatever do you suppose we have just passed through?” inquired Miss Spalding of her companion. “A most horrible looking man met us near Wash ington Square a few minutes ago and was about to insult us, I know, when I screamed and he ran away.” “The wretch,” responded the man. “What sort of a looking man was he?” “He wore a light suit of clothes, a very broad-brimmed h it, and when be got a block or two up the street he dodged into a store. Then we hurried up here where y m found us as fast as we could come.” “I think I can throw a little light upon the identity of this miscreant,’ replied the man in a voice which I half recog nized. “I saw him rush into this store from the centre of the square. He was that Idiotic Bronson. I have no idea why he should try a trick like that un less because it occurred to his feeble m nd that it might be smart or amu-ing. I never have hvi.rd of his insulting any ladies before, though. But I am not su prised at anything this imbecile might do. I understand,” he continued, with a malice purely (Satanic, “that his friends have been coutcmniating forborne time past putting him in a retreat for weak minded p r*ms,” At Ihia moment, patience b Ing no longer either virtuous or -needful, I pre sented myself before ray accuser end two listeners. There were two fend nine screams as the ladies rose simultaneously from the bench and clutched, with every symp tom of uncontrollable fear, the arms of their self-installed protector. “Good afternoon, ladies,” I observed as calmly as possible. “Never mind your apologies, fellow,” responded this absolutely depraved wretch of a Jenkins—for such he turned out to be—“l will have my footman at tend to you later on.” With this rebuff, so stingingly applied, the trio wheeled into lino and marched up the walk toward Broadway. What was thero left for me to do? I couldn't spatter these ladies with his gore. Even I had sense enough with all my conflict ing emotions, which quite overpowered me, to see that. 8o I left them. If you receive a telegram any moment from me sent from the Tombs and headlined, “Murderers’ Mow,” you may know that I have done my duty. Yours, devotedly, until such time m I am the Sheriff’s, end his till death. H. Bronson. NO. HI. New York, March 21, 1888. My Dear Thomas : The tear be-wetted extract from the morning paper relates the story of its own tragedy: Married: Jenkins-ftpaMing. On March 18, Horatio Jenkins to May Spalding. No cards. Yours, despairingly, Bronson. P. S.—l aut experimenting in charcoal as a means of suicide. If I find that it entails too much patience, and if I verify the rumor that its use would cause my face to turn black—too black to be rec ognized by her for whom I died—l shall end all things with dynamite —New York Graphic. Government Contracts for Snpplies. In order to give somo idea of how a government contract can .be obtained, the following is taken from the official iestructions: Proposals must be made in duplicate on-the forms' furnished by the department, and be accompanied by a certified check or draft on somo United States depository or National bank, pay able to the order of the Sccrotary of the Interior, which cheek or draft shall bo for not less than ten per centum of the value of the estimated quantity of sup plies propose:! to be furnished at the prices given in the proposal, if such total value does not exceed $10,000; if over that amount thooh. ck must be for st,ooo. The check to he fo.leit <1 :o the United States in case the li.ilib r receiving nn award shall fail lo exccut* promptly a contract, with go > 1 mul sufficient sure ties, according t. tU• terns of his bid; otherwise to be retu uK'il to the bidder. Bids not accomp lit 1 t v a certified check or draft wi 1 not be i onsidered. Each proposal mint give the names of all parties into e-tel in, or par ties to it, together with their places of business and postofficc addresses. If *f> bo reni.eaetitud. by an jug at, his name and address should be gveri. All arti cles to bo of the best qu.Lty unless oth erwise specified. Samples must bo fur nished as required in the schedule, and each sample should be marked to show the name of the bidder, number of the item, and price. All articles wi.l be sub ject to rigid inspection upon delivery, and such as do not conform strictly to the requirements of the contract will be re jected. The reason why a certified check is re quired from each bidder is to prevent ir responsible persons from putting in bids, and then if the award suits them proooed to execute the contract, otherwise throw it up. The multiplication of work be came so great by the presence of bidders of this character that this requirement is made, and it has had the effect of keeping out the curbstone dealers whoso bank account cou Id not stand the reten tion of a certified check for a month or so.— Washington Star. Shant Mushrooms. “You notice on the bill of fare that your turtle soup is but ten cents more per plate than mock turtle soup,” said a stranger in . great glided eating house. “Calipash and Calipee—green fat—an historic delicacy, famed in the history of the world’s metropolis at the acme of epicurean delight, for ten cents more than a fried meat ball. But the age likes to think it is eating turtle soup. It sounds rich, therefore the veally counter feit. lam going to cat a Span'sh ome let,” continued the stranger, changing the subject. The stranger gave his order to a colored waiter, who yawned and twisted his mustache, and the omelet was brought. The stranger investigated the ingredients of the savory mess wilh his fork, and on the end of the utensil pro duced a mushroom. “Look at this,” he said. Then he picked at the appetizing vegetable with his kn:fc, scraped on the covering of sauce, and began paring the stem. It crumpied under the operation in a decidedly unvegetable way. The reporter’s eyes popped out on his cheek*. “What is it?” as asked. “Dough,” replied the stranger. “It is an old trick. Mushrooms arc scarce and high. Still the patrons like to have the sensation of ordering mushrooms in that composition. If prices were put up to the mushroom market they would abandon the restaurant. So they use dough. It is harmless. I would advise the proprietor to stick to dough, and not indulge in toadstools, which might work injury.” —Philadelphia Press. Two Remarkable Centenarians. Near Fnrtcrville, in the southern part of Nicholas county, Ky., within sight of each other, a.c the homes of two women whose ages aggregate 220 years. One is Mrs. Cathe:ine Waggoner, aged 111, and her sister-in law. .>.r*. Rebecca Wagge ner.aged 10'i; e u-i. Th v nre widows, and each has rea-ed n large ...mily of children, neatly all of w'.i >m uro i. urried, some of them having gmmlchlld on.which would make thc-e old lad cs greet grandmothers. These remarkub e em-n have nevet seen a railroad l:a n n r u modern home, and have lived fur the | :ist sixty-five years within s stone's t'.uow of where they now live, snd 1 ave n t been in Car lisle for thirty-two y. a**. They both have a silk dress h id away to be buried in that has been m tde more than fifty years, bince Ixnomin-' widowed each hat raised annually, with her own hands if part, a small crop of ouio and tobacco.— Louisville Commercial. In Washington there are goldfish that have belonged to the muiis family for fifty years, and they appear to he scarcely any larger than they were when purchased. BODGET OF FUN. HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM VARIOUS SOURCES. amlly Pride Too Sarcastic A Quiet Chat A Bargain He Brought the Bear—Turn lin's Victory. A Texas boy of about twelve brought home a very poor school certificate. The old man said, as he looked under the sefa tor a bcotjack: “I’ll have to apply coercive measures.” “Don’t do it, father. I’m afraid there will be a scene, and wo don’t care to have the neighbors suspect that our rela tions arc not harmonious.” The neighbors say the boy’s eloquence was intoned by something that sounded like hitting a tough beefsteak with the flat side of an ax.— Siftings. Too Sarcastic. First Dude—“ Ole fellah, what do you think of Miss Commonsense?” Second Dude—“ Well, ma deah boy, me opinion of her is not vewy fwat twing.” First Dude—“Thath bad. Wat’s the wesson you don’t wike her?” Second Dude—“ Too deuced sahcastic, don’t ye know. W’y the other day we were out widing, ‘she and I, and we passed by one of these donkeys, a mis wable animal, you unnerstan, and I asked her the difference between that beast and myself. I tliwought she would say she didn’t know, and I would tell her that the donkey dwow loads and Idwew pic tures. Ye know lam a sort of an ahtist, and that would be a fwinq joke, bah Jove.” First Dude—“And what did she say?” Second Dude—“ She said the onwi dif wence she could see was in the length of the ears.” —Detroit Free Press. A Quiet Chat. J— is a wideawake young business man on State street. Sauntering about at the Art Club exhibition recently, he chanced to meet a friend, a deaf mute, who was conversing with a companion in sign language. Greeting J— cordially the deaf muto drew out a pocket pad and pencil, and after a brief pencil and paper com ersation introduced his com panion by the same means and shortly after withdrew. J— and the gentleman discussod the pictures pleasantly for twenty minuts or more, meanwhile covering the backs of Bundry envelopes and scraps, of paper jwith thoir pcncilings, wLen a fourth 'character in this littlo drama came upon the scene, a friend of J—’s new-made ac quaintance. “Hello, George 1” said the new-made •oquaintanco to tho new comer, familiar ly, “how do you like the pictures this “’iliunder and Mars?” exclaimed J-, in surprise, “can you talk?” “Well, I should say so,” said the gentleman, equally surprised, ns he put away pencil and paper. “Ain’t you deaf and dumb?” “Not by a good dcall” J— replied, thrusting into his pocket an envelope nearly covered with pencil marks, “but I’ll kill Dummy next time I meet him. ” Boston Record. A Bargain. A street-tinker, surrounded by a bevy of children, was industriously working on a demoralized tea kettle, when a very •oiled tramp approached him, and cautiously drew from under his coat a tin can, and in a confidential way said: “My friend, I’m in hard luck; I dropped thi* can yesterday, and now every time I drink it leaks down on bum coat and looks very untidy. I’m VjlW —I spent the last cent I had f- *—r-nt£/’- lotte ruseo. But won’t you "just put a drop of solder over that hole?” The tinsmith was very prompt in in forming him in plain, unalloyed English, that he didn’t walk around all day yelling up alley-ways, with a furnace in his hand and a twenty-five-pound box of tools hanging on his shoulder, for pleasure. After the tramp had reflected os only a tramp can reflect, he said: "I’ll fell you what I’ll do if you solder that hole; I’ll inform you where there’s lots of tinkering, and it pays first-rate, too.” The tinsmith entertained the proposi tion, and it was a bargain. The can was once more beer-tight. “Now where’s all that tinkering you were talking about?” The tramp hobbled off a few yards, and informed him it was over in the United States navy-yard. Before the tmker could gather himself together, the tramp jumped on a passing ice cart and was gently wafted out of sight.— Puck. Tumlin's Victory. The present heated political campaign recalls a story told of the spirited contest for Congress in the fifties, in the old Cherokee district, between Lewis Tum lin and William Henry Styles. The whole country was at the time agitated over the Clayton-Bulwer Treaty which was then pending. Styles and Franklin were speaking from every stump in the dis trict and the former laid great stress on the idea that it was necessary that the district choose as its representative a learned man and one well posted on the current news of both this country and the Old World. “Why,” said he in one of his joint dis cussions, “we want a man in Congress who is sufficiently posted to protect us from the aggressiveness and grasping methods of England. We want a man who can vote intelligently on the issues arising from this great treaty which is now pending between the two countries. This, my friend, Tumlin can’t do. I will submit to him a single question, and if he answers it from his seat without being informed, I will agree to come down. ” All eyes were on Tumlin ae the speaker turned to him and pointing at him asked: “Where is Liverpool, sir?” Tumlin sst undisturbed and snwered 1 with a sneering smile, but ventured no further response. “Ah,” continued the speakor, turning to the audience, “he don’t know. Now I leave it to you to say whether or not your representative in' Congress should know the situation of Liverpool 1” This seemed a clincher end Style* sat down with an air of triumph. As he passed Tumlin it it said that the Utter remarked to him, sotto voice: on DOLUB Pot Annum, la Uvaaea “Styles, I think that was otame mean; you know I ain't no geologist.” But it came Tumlin's time to reply, and he was equal to the occasion. lie scorned the imputation that he did not know where Liverpool was, and pro ceeded to locate it, to the satisfaction of the audience. “But,” said he, “it would make no difference if I didn’t know il. There is one thing that I do know, and that il my people and my distriot. Now I want to ask my friend Styles a simple tu cation, which the representative of this istrict in Congress ought to be able to answer, and if he docs so at once, right from his seat and without information, I will promise to come right down and ask you to vote for him.” Attention was now directed to Styles, who eyed the speaker complacently and good-humoredly, nodded for him to pro ceed. “Wharc, sir,” continued Tumlin, rais ing his voice to a high pitch aud leveling his finger at his opponent, “where, sir, £ Cooper’s Creek?” Styles became confused and did not venture a reply. The audience accepted the point as a good one, for every one knew that Cooper's Creek watered the most prominent section of the county. “Ah, you see,” he conclned, “he don’t know anything about the county that he wants to represent. Now, I leave it to you to say whe'heritisbest to elect a man who knows all about Eng land and nothing about his distri t, or one who knows every cow-path in the district and every creek that should be cleaned by Congressional appropriation. ” The victory was Tumliu’s. He had carried the day, and his triumphant elec tion followed. Historysays that the old Cherokee district was well represented in Congress during his term. —Atlanta Con stitution. Ho Brought the Bear. You know that I went up in Northern Michigan last fall on a hunting trip with three or four friends. Well, I can tell you of a comical little incident vrlfc.’.h oc curred to our old negro cook, Jit® We had killed numerous beaveFs, por cupine, partridges and pheasants, and a" few deer, but we had been grievously disappointed in getting no bears. We followed up every bear track we L uld , find, we set traps, and we employed :j A Indian hunter to aid us, but no bears wer ■ to bo found, although it was said there were many in the Returning ono afternoon after an ntffl§§| cesstnl hunt.dispirited and out of it was no wonder that when cook, who was somewhat of a character, commenced to poke fun atjHZj and deride us on the bear sub ject. ontflß the fellows boeamo enraged and saHH “Jim, you black devil, get out of camp, and if after your bragging don’t bring nbcar back with you ocfonQ dark I’ll give you a sound thra Ji ng.”^ “Sartinly, I will,” replied Jim, gayty. He obeyed, and failing the loan of a gun from any one of the party he started out, having no idea in the world as to where he was going. Having dered away a mile or go from the canuf he lay down under a tree and weiit sleep. It was dusk when he awoke, the first thing tliat met his gazo was an immense black bear on his haunches, about twenty-five away, and watching his victim cently. The bewildered and alarmed negro jumped to his feet sh| started for the camp, and the beast fRH owed. It was a race for life, and only chance was in his legs, for he haul not the vestige of a weapon with him.l After half a mile had been t avemd.hel looked back and saw that the beast was gaining on him rapidly. He threw off his cant £ . ‘ bile the bear stopped to cjoself.* ..Traineda few yards. In this >way the poor darkey continued throwing <off his out clothing, piece by piece, now and then, and profiting by the bear’s mo mentary halt to examine and snuff it. Finally, to Jim’s great delight, he saw the lights of the camp but a few rods away, and, having nothing else that he could throw off, he redoubled his speed, but the brute gained rapidly and was but a few feet behind. A series of blood curdling whoops brought the fellows from the tent, and as they reached the door, in came Jim, with a big black bear at his heels. “Gcmmen,” gasped.he, “I’s brought back dat b’ar I promised you.” —Washington Post. Queen Victoria’s Horses. It is not generally known, says the St. James's Gazette, that the famous cream colored horses wliich draw her Majesty’s state carriage, as they have drawn the carriage of her predecessors before her for the last century and a half, belong to her not as Queen of England, but ass princess of the royal house of Hanover. The home of the breed for a very long period has been at lierrenhausen, a country residence a couple of miles outside of the Hanoverian capital. There may be seen to this day a stud of ani mals, kept by the Prussian Government on behalf of the exiled Duke of Cum berland, out of the revenues of his con fiscated estate. The breed has so long been carefully kept pure that it is rare (so say the attendants) for anything but a cream-colored foal to be produced. In Hanover, on State occasions, the King’s carriage was accustomed to be drawn by the creams, while the Queen sat behind a team of bays. If the account of the stable authorities may be believed, the footmen who walk at the head of each animal are not merely ornamental. Ex cept on State occasions these horses never leave the stable, and they are kept in such a gross condition that they need to be watched lest they should suddenly give way to a desire for instant repose, and thereby disturb the stately progress of the Queen's cortege. An Electric Sword. A gentleman of Shanghai has, after considerable experimenting, invented a new and deadly weapon. This is au electric sword which, when the point touches the party attacked, sends a pow erful shock through him, and if not im mediately killing, will at least put him hors de combat. The sword is an ordi nary military sabre, but along its whole length is let in a fine platinum wire, which ends at the foil of the weapon. A small hut very powerful storage battery is csriiod strapped about th - waist, much the same as a <a:.ridge box. Insulated wires connect the battery with the sword, end bv pressing a button the holder can complete the circuit at one o.—Shunfhai (China) Courier. SO. 25.