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OOUUI * HUT, Miter* ud Proprietor*.
VOL. XI.
ellijay codrier.
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY
—BY—
COLEMAN & KIRBY.
IB* Office in the Court House Jtui
GENERALDiRECTORY.
Superior Court meets 3d Monday in
May and 2d Monday in October.
COUNTY OFFICER*.
J. C. Allen, Ordinary,
T. W. Craigo, Clerk Superior Court,
H. M. Bramiett, Sheriff,
J. H. Sharp, Tax Receiver,
G. W. Gates, Tax Collector,
Jaa M. West, Surveyor,
G. W. Rice, Coroner,
W. F. Hill, School Commissioner.
The County Board of Education meets
at Ellijay the Ist Tuesday in January,
April, July and October.
Hon. James B. Brown, Judge.
George F. Gober, Solicitor General.
COUNTY COURT.
Hon. Thomas F. Gre6r, Judge.
Meets 3d Monday in each mcnth.
Court of Ordinary meets first Monday
in each month.
TOWN COUNCIL.
E. W, Coleman, Intendant.
L. B. Greer, 1
L. IL Cobb*,’ Jr. [Commissioners.
T. J. Long, j
M. T. Dooly, Marshall.
RELIGIOUS SSBYICBB.
Methodist Episcopal Church, South—
every 4th Sunday, and Saturday before,
Rev. C. M. Ledbetter.
Baptist Church—Every 2nd Saturday
and Sunday, by Rev. E. *. Shope.
Methodist Episcopal Uhurcb—Ever.
Ist Saturday and Sunday, by Rev, R
H. Robb.
FRATERNAL RECORD,
Oak Bowery Lodge, No 81, F. A. M,,
meets first Friday in each month.
W. A. Cox, W. M.
L. B. Greer, S. W.
W. F. Hipp, J. W.
R. Z. Roberts, Tress.
T. W. Craigo, Sec.
W. W. Roberts, Tyler,
T. B. Kirby, S. D.
H. M. Bramiett, J. D.
DR. J. R. JOHNSON,
Physician and Surgeon
ELLfJAY, GEORGIA- .
Tenders his professional services to the
people of Gilmer and surrounding coun
ties and asks the support of his friends as
heretofore. All calls promptly filled.
E. W. COLEMAN,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
ELLIJAY, GA.
Will practice in B.u : Kiilge Circuit, Count,
Court Justice Court of tiilmer County. Legal
business solicited '‘Promptness’' is our motto.
DR. J. S. TANKERSIEY.
Physician and Surgeon,
Tend-rs liis professional services to the citi
sens of Ellijay, Gilmer and surrounding conn
ties. Al> calls promptly attend 'd to. Office
upstairs over the firm of Cobb A Son.
KITE WALDO THORNTON, D.D.B.
DENTIST,
Cai.hodn, Ga.
Will visit Ellijay and Uorganton at
both the Spriug and Fall term of th
Superior Court—and oftener by special
contract, when sufficient work ia guar
anteed to justify me in making the visit.
Address as above. Tmay2l-li
Young men
Wuo wish a Thorough preparation fot
Bnsinee*, will find superior advantages al
MOORE’S BUSINESS UNIVERSITY,
ATLANTA, GA.
The largest and best Practical Business Schoo
in the South. OWSludents can enter at an,
time. for circnlsrs.
WHITE PATH SPRINGS!
—THE—
'Favorite and Popular Resort of
NORTH GEORGIA!
Is situated 6 miles north of Ellijay on
the Marietta & North Georgia Railroad.
Accommodations complete, facilities for
ease and comfort unexcelled, and the
magnificent Minetal Springs is its chief
attraction. For other particulars on
board, etc., address,
Mbs. W. F. Robertson,
Ellijay, Ga.
CENTRAL HOTEL!
Ellijay, Georgia.
In the special popular resort for commercial
men and tourists of all kind, and is the general
home for prompt attention, elegant rooms and
are second to none, in this place. Seasonable
rates.
Mr*. K. V. Teem will (five her personal at
tention to gnesta in tbs dining hall. 1-14
Homtain View Hotel!
ELLIJAY, OA.
This Hotel ia now fitted up in excel
last order, and ia open for the receptioa
of guests, under competent management
Every poaaiblo effort will bo made U
make the Mountain View the moat popu.
lar Hotel in Ulljoy. Aonomandattonaie
•very department fleet aim limp, eels
aid lead stabtmiaeoanectioa with hotel
Ouaele lieiwlmil to eed from all trates
ft* efthoafe. *4 ly
THE ELLIJAY COURIER
FOB GOOD
JOB PRINTING
—GO TO THS—
COURIER OFFICE.
Mopes,
Business Cards,
Statements,
Posters,
Pamphlets,
Circulars,
Bill Heads,
Letter Heads,
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED.
Give us a call.
Organ.
Made.
Unrivaled.
Finish.
of Popularity.
ILLUSTRATED catalogues sent tree.
Estey iDrgan i£o.„ urattieboro,vt.
Automatic Sewing Machine Cos.
72 West 23d St., New York, N.Y.
*f - We inviU special at
tratlon to our Nzw
wg Patest Automatic Ttr
/vir non Machine, making
7 Attl precisely the a&xne stitch
TV 4LW. m the Wilcox Ac Gibbs.
it- XlHluii yet, if not preferred
K the Wilcox & Olbbn
Tendon Ma
chine, ean be returned
A an; tine within 30 dsjs
and none; refunded.
Bat what Is man remarkable 11111, we never
knew a woman willing to do har own 4mnil;
sewing on a shuttle machine after having tried
oar Hew Patent AUTOMATIC.
Even Shoe Manufacturers And It beet railed tt
their work—lU elastic seems are mom darable.
Truly Automatic Sawing Machines am tail
enpemeding shuttls machines, and it la no naa to
deny it. Truth is mighty and dost prevail.
Shuttle Machines hare aeeu tbsir best days.
INVALID ROLLING CHAIR^
(RECLINING)
HraßunFS&XsnK
Ban BMr Of,, N*w Haw* Ota*.
"A MAP OF BUST LIFE—ITS TLVOTUATIOSS AND ITS VAST COSCEItXS.”
ELLIJAY. GA.. THURSDAY, DECEMBER 16, 188 G.
CHRISTMASTIDR
Judea's hills are bleak and bar*
And Jordan's stream runs low,
Their richer, all mankind may ehare,
Still have tneir endless flow.
The star that shone in lonely ray
Giowed for remotest ages, when
It told the lesson all may say.
Of “peace on earth, good will to men."
Its golden glories still abide
In love to all each Christmastide.
Judea’s hills are bleak and bare
And Jordan’s stream runs low,
But east and west in every air
Their incens: breezes blow,
Outpoured for all with bounteous band
From heaven’s fnll storehouse then,
A golden text for every land
Of “peace on earth, good will to men,*
At once their hope, their joy, their pride,
This blessing of each Christmastide.
Judea’s hiils are bleak and bare
And Jordan’s stream runs low,
But lands more blest and skies more fair,
Waves that as sweetly flow,
Are not, and have not e’er been known,
To History’s faithful pen
Since that glad light upon them shone
Of “peace on earth, good will to men!”
Life's sin an i hate to override
In love and peace each Christmastide.
—Henry Armstrong.
JIM’S CHRISTMAS.
A HOLIDAY STORY.
It was Christmas Eve, and despite a
bitter, piercing wind, the Bowery was
one moving mass of humanity, laden
with baskets and packages containing ail
sorts of good tilings, or bent upon pur
chasing, or seekiDg one of the many en
tertainments offered on this thoroughfare
of all uationalitics, which has no coun
terpart unless it may be found in the
Whitechapel Hoad of London, England.
Mingling among this crowd of buyers
and pleasure-seekers, were many who
could but look and long. Children
whose only glimpse of Christmas was the
gayly decked stores, or a whiff of the
goodies permeating the frosty night air
from some cookshop. Many a dirty, lit
tle, eager face, was pressed tight against
a window pane, taking in with evident
satisfaction these meagre scrapings of
Christmas vouchsafed them. Outside of
one of these Lowery cook shops, where
cakes, pics, etc., were being rapidly
passed over the counter to their respect
ive purchasers, st< od a boy of probably
twelve or thirteen years, whose dark eyes
appeared unusually large by i cason of
his thin, white cheeks, and unkempt
locks. How the few rags he wore held to
gether was known only to themselves,
lor the wind >ee ned as if determined to
rend them t me it.took it'
finto its bead tc blow in their direction.
Hungrily the boy watched the t oothsome
dainties, as he sniffed eagerly of the
kitchen's odors that aro c from below,
starving amid plenty. The throngs
jostled each other as they passed to and
fro, but the boy still kept his stand, as
if fascinated by the sight of so much
brightness and good . heer. Close beside
him shivered the skin and bones of a
cur, who was the owner of the scraggiest
of coats, while one of his ears was en
tirely gone, and if he had ever possessed
a waggable appendage, the smallest apol
ogy of a stub was all that remained to
tell the tale. Yet no human eyes could
have expressed more affection than those
of this dumb brute, as he gazed wistfully
at his young master, and strov e to heat
with his warm tongue the bays’ chilled
hands. And his love was not misplaced,
for with a caress of the dog’s homely
coat, the boy said :
“It’s Christmas, to-morrow, Sandy,
and there'll perhaps be no end of bones
fur ye in the ash barrels. Do you re
member the nice dinner we had last
week?” The stub wagged a responsive
yes and the boy continued, half to him
self and half to his four footed friend.
“I’ve often been thinking why there's
so many folks that has such a heap of
things, and others like me and you,
Sandy, as has nothiug; but I carn’t coino
at the bottom oft. Now there's Nat,
he’s a prig and a liar, and he's to haye a
regular blow out to-morrow, down at
old Mother Mowleys. Now if I was a
prig, but ye see, Kandy, I don't know
how it is, but I was never no good at
stealing. They say I’m too afeered of
the cops. It ain’t that, and I don’t know
as I know what it is, but I carn’t
do’t ’’
“Here, sonny, do you want to earn ten
cents.” The boy's burst of confidence
was cut short by the above question. As
he turned, a comely, motherly looking
woman confronted him. On her arm
was a big basket bursting out all over
with good things, while a tat turkey pro
truded its long legs with a defiant air,
and refused to allow the lid to be closed.
A little boy and girl, aged respectively
seven and live, cl ng to either side of
the thick, warm shawl worn by this
pleasant voiced woman, both hugging
parcels with their disengaged hand.
“If you'd like to cam ten cents, sonny,
by helping me carry this basket to Sev
enteenth street and Avenue B, why I’ll
be right glad to have you. It’s a little
more than I can manage alone, J. find,
since I had the rheumatics in my arm. ”
A look of genuine pity shone in the
woman’s eyes as she notel the boy’s
pinched cheeks and ragged apparel.
Then as she glanced from him to her
own warmly clad little ones, her compas
sion grew apn< e, and she stopped him as
he eagerly held out his hands for the
basket, saying: "I'd be glad of the ob,
ma’am.” A look c f intense disappoint
ment eroded the boy’s face, ten cents
meant so much to hi n. but in a moment
it changed to oic of surprise, as the
woman,turning into the cook shop, said:
“I guess we ll all he the better for a
bite, and sup of tom .thing this cold
night. Come, sonnv, and tuck in a bit
of strength so you'll be bitter able to
bear a baud with the basker.”
“Me, ma’am !” ejaculat'd tho boy, at
this unexpected kindness.
“Why, of course; come right along.
Lor’, child, it's Christmas Eve, audit
comes but once u ji ar.”
Into the warmth and brightness and
good cheer the lad stepped, closely fol
lowed by bandy, whose bl ight eyes and
•tubby nose wore an sir of puzzled in
quiry. Keeling us if it were all a dream,
and that he would nwnke in a moment to
find himself ou side in the cold again,
this poor wa>f siji e I his hot toffee and
ate of the b cad and butter and meet
that *m plentiful 1/ (applied bin, slyly
now and again chucking bits to his dumb
friend, who kept close beneath his mas
ter's chair, until his kind benefactress,
catcbi.ighim in the act, e aculated:
“For mercy sake, child! what are you
doing!”'
It flashed across her that perhaps the
boy was an imposter, and not being hun
gry, was and sposing of the meat in that
way in order to deceive her. But in his
pale cheeks there crept tlf* quick color
a?he answered:
“If you please, ma’am, it’s Sandy. I
couldn't eat and he go without.”
At tho mention of his name Sandy
crawled with a half apologetic air from
beneath the chair.
“Is that how it is? Here, waiter,
bring a plate full of meet .and hones for
this dog, ’’ and this whole-souled woman
gazed compassionately upon the half"
starved beast. „ a
Such a thumping aa%aud/ thereupon
set up with his stub of • tail, anv one to
have seen it would h%ve doubted its
ability to create such a gomnto iou.
“Lor’bless me! the CriKir acts as if
he understood,” and kidl V -Mrs. Chris
tian patted Kandy’s rough coat, where
upon he, being a very "intelligent dog
who knew as well us lift betters how io
appreciate a kindness, immediately of
fered his paw, causing the two children .
—Eddie and Kosie —to laugh merrily, in
which their mother good-naturedly
joined, and even Jim—that was the poor
boy’s name—wnrrned by the good fare,
found himself actually laughing heartily
too.
Before Avenue B was reached that
night kind Mrs. Christian had learned
the little there was to tell of Jim’s his
tory. A New York waif, homeless and
friendless, living as he best could. As
far a< he remembered, no ono had ever
given him a kind word until this night,
and a feeiing of wondering admiration
grew in his heart for this motherly
woman who had so kindly befriended
him.
Up two flights of one -of the better
class of tenement-house*Jim helped with
the basket, and was rewarded with the
nicest smile he thought he had ever seen,
followed by the words:
“There, sonny, there’s your ten eents
and a bit over, seeing it*Christmas eve;”
and while Jim stood gazjng at the silver
quarter placed in his hand, too much
surprised to speak his thanks, shendded;
“Come round to-morrow about one
o’clock, and I guess there’ll be a bit of
the turkey left, and Sandy, poor doggie,
he shall have his Christmas, too."
‘Tlease, ma’am,” Jim managed at last
to blurt out, “perhaps if I come round a
bit early I might be able to give you a
hand at sumat. I can do lots of things,
and—and Id like to fur yo.”
Something in the boy's wistful face
went straight to Mrs. (Jar'stian's warm
heart, and smiling through the tours that
clouded her eyes, she answered:
• ‘That's, righiuvsluaynJKry to. work
your way and be indepentwnt. So come
early, and I’ll warrant you’ll earn your
dinner.”
Then with a nod and a smile she
bade him good-night.
It was late that ( hristmas eve before
Mrs. Christian’s numerous duties were
accomplished. So many little things
there were to do that only a mother’s
loving hands could rightly fashion.
Then there was Tom, her husband, who
had been woiking late at an extra job,
he had to have his bit of supper and
smoke, and of course hear ail his wife
had to tell of poor Jiin and how her
heart had gone out to him in his poverty
and lonel ness.
Mary,” said her “gudemaii,”
Mth geuial face expanding in a smile,
“you’re always right, and I guess you’re
so* now. Howsomever, we’ll give him
one good feed, and as ye say, it looks
iveel for the lad a offering to eatn his
dinner.”
Only to God alone was ever-known oi
how that Christmas eve a sorrowing
mother lovingly pressed a little worn
frock to her quivering lips ns she mur
mured : *
“.My baby Jim! and he would have
been just abo.it his age, if he had’ve
lived.” Then, as she tenderly ret imed
her treasure to its hiding place, she con
tinued: ‘Til do it, if Tom will let me.
No home, no mother, no one to care for
him. It might have been my Jim, or Ed
die or Bose. Perhaps it's the name that
draws me so toward him. Anyway, l
can't help it—and we'll(never miss the bit
and sup.”
Such warmth and kindness and savory
odors as Jim found himself amid that
Chr'stmas day! He did his best, poor
lad, in honor of the occasion by present
ing himself with face and hands as clean
as'soap and water could make them, anil
hair in such a state of slicknes. that poor
Sandy was forced to indulge in an extra
sniff of his young master to convince him
self that he ha i not made a mistake.
How Mr3. Christian contrived on such
short notice to procure a suit of clothes
that, if they were a (rifle large and some
what worn, transforped Jim into quite a
handsome little t'eliow, was known only
to her kindly heifi't. And the warm
flannels—theie was no one to tell of the
pitying fingers that had fashioned them
so early that bright Christmas, morn.
And Jim—did he ever forget that
( hri-tmas day, tho first real one he hnl
ever known! And when he was told
that he need never go back to the cold
and the hunger again; that if he wished
he e.)u!d become one of thri happy house
hold. he was spec bless from sheer bc-
I wil ierment at the da/zling prospe t, un-
I til Sandy, perhapi. fearing it all boded
j no good to him, gave vent to a prolonged
howl; whereupon, with a big gulp, as if
| to ch >ke back the iears that tilled his
| eyes, Jim an w red:
“Please, mi .'urn, don't think hard of
me, but I could id do’t. Y< r see, he was
sich a little 'tin. w ion I saved him from
I being throttled by Mike i lint, and his
j leg was broke: hut he was that smart.
1 and he's stuck lo me iver since. Bich
i friends as we’ve been, m i’. rn, 1 < ouldn’t
go back on him now. lie's all the friend
! I iver knew t.l. ceymi ma'am. I hope
Iyo won't think me ungrateful, and if
ye'll give me t job i own and agin I'll only
I I e too thankful, mid fur all ye've duno,
. 1 cannot say it rightly, but I feel it,
ina’am. I do ”
Here, with ft slight catching of his
| breath, Jim paused, und hugging Handy,
who had crept into Ins aims, cl se to his
breast, he awaited h's dbrni^al.
I Two mot he ly li uids we laid loving
ly upon the Itoy's rii adder-, as in tones
t iHt slightly tr tabled Mrs, Christian
laid:
I “Did you think, •uiiuy, we would be
grudge th> bit sipt sop to the poor boast f
Uf ours Ik's to t<y, too, Md U will be
his own fault if he goes without, when
there's plenty for him. Isn’titso, Tom?”
And Mrs. Christian turned smilingly to
her husband, who, holding out an en
couraging hand to Jim, answered:
“You do as the wife says, lad, and-ye
can’t go far wrong.” And thus it was
Jim and Sandy became members of the
family.
* * * * *
Ten years had come and gone since
the Christmas day that Mrs. Christian
took Jim to her heart and home. Ijp in
Harlem there is a cosy little house. This
night the snow decks like a bridal veil
each tree and shrub of the pretty garden
attached, which, were it summer, would
be gay with many a delicate blossom.
Shall we peep in? The blind at the lit
tle window is drawn up. Such a pretty,
home like picture does it reveal this
New Year's Eve. A sweet, kindly
faced woman, whose silvery hair is par
tially hidden by a soft mull cap, sits in a
low rocker, busily knitting a zephyr-like
article with bright colored yarns.
The soft light of the student lamp j
falls upon the bright, expressive face of
a youth of about seventeen years, who is
playing checkers with a very pretty girl
sme two years his junior. A cottage
piano stands invitingly opens, while be
fore the grate, where glows a glorious
fire, lies stretched a dog. Surely we
have seen him before, although his red- i
dish brown coat was not then thickly 1
streaked with gray. Suddenly the dog’s |
one ear is cocked, and he rises and hob
bles as fast as his stiff joints will allow ,
to the door, uttering a feeble bark. A
ringing step sounds outside, then a latch
key turns in the lock, and a second after
ward a young man enters the room with: I
“Well, Sandy, old fellow,” and as he
stoops lo pat the dog, the young girl,
with an impulsive cry, springs up, ex
claiming:
“Jh, Jim, tell us all about it! I’m
dying to know.” Smiling, he gives
her delicate little car a pinch, as he an
swers :
“The mother first, Rosie;” then, kneel j
ing beside tho elderly lady, whose eyes j
are bent fondly upon him, he continues, !
with:
“Mother, congratulate your son; he is
now junior member of the firm, and on
the high road to fortune.”
“R( sic, do you think we’ll be allowed
to call him Jim any longer. I’m sadly
afraid we shall have to take aback seat,”
and with a lugubrious aigh ; the boy sank
as if overcome into his chair.
“How ridiculous you are, Eddie, just
as if Jim, dear old Jim, would bo any
different if ho were the firm itself,” re
plied the young girl, half laughing.
The mother’s trembling hands arc laid
caressingly upon the broad shoulders of
th ■ young man, as id a voice full of emo
tion she murmurs;
“God bless and prosper and reward
you, my son, for all the loving care you
have gvvou the children mid me the-*
years since their father died, fori never
can.”
‘ Mother! look back and think of the
little waif you took to your heart and
home. Can ho ever repay all the moth
erly love you lavished upon him. Do
you think it is nothing to him to have a
home, brother, sister and you, my
mother!”
A peal of bells is borne lightly toward
them on the night air, and as they die
softly away, Jim cries cheerily:
“A Haopy New Year to our home.”
One Side of tho Question.
“1 see,” said a man, addressing a com
panion, “that a writer in the Scientiflo
American says that laughter prolong*
life.”
“How does he explain his theory?”
“Well, I don't exactly know, but he
says that it starts into circulation little
hidden particles of blood which would
otherwis • remain dormant. Then he
goes on humorously to say that tho
time may come when physicians will
prescribe so many laughs to be taken so
many hours apart.”
‘ I dare say, but how do you suppose
the physician could produce laughter at
a stated time. It wouldn't do to give
the patient laughing gas for that produces
anger more often than it docs mirth.”
“That's a fact. 1 Tow would it do to
read extracts from political platforms?”
“Migh do very well.”
' ‘coy. I believe .that laughing dors
prolong life. I'll give you an instance,
borne time ago. when 1 was in Sail An
tonio, I saw two men engaged in a quar
ter One of them, /ib Lock, drew a
pistol and told Bob Foster that his time
was come. In-trad of ?>eroming excited,
Foster said: ‘Mow wait a minute, Y ib,
er h;nv, haw. Don t you—ter he, he—
recollect the time when we went over to
see old Miller's daughters' Well, sir—
haw, haw—l thought I would kill my
self laughing,’ and then lie laughed up
ronrously. Zib, overcome by astonish
ment at this untimely mirth, lowered
his pistol, and. quicker than a bass
striking a troll, Foster snatched the
weapon and killed Zib. So, you see,
this is ati argument in favor of laughter,
for it saved Foster’s life.”
“Yes, but it killed the other fellow,
for, don t you see, it enabled Foster to
shoot him.” ■
“That’s a fact. I expect, after all, it
is a little dangerous. It’s the way with
those scientific writers, though. They
never take up but one side of a question.
—Arkansas Traveler.
It Never Failed Yet.
They were old friends, and had been
sweethearts in their younger days. There
was silver in hci; hair and snow on his,'
:nd they sat and talked of old times
who i they were young. They did not
say how ninny years ago tho adventures
lm.ipencd. They did not speak of dates.
Itwa. “when we were young." Their
flr.-t meeting, their first quarrel, their
last ki-s, their last quarrel were all gone
over Pci haps they both warmed a lit
tle over the recollections. At last he
said;
“Ay, Jennie, an' I bae na loved any
body since you. I line never forgotten
you.”
“John,” she said with a little moisten
ing of the eye, “you're just as big a leear
ns ever—an’ 1 believe ye jist the same.”
—Detroit A 're' l'res a
An Object Lenaas.
(school Teacher—“ Now which of you
ian tell me what goes round and rouad
and yet ought to be level?"
• in tie—“l know.**
.-cho l Teuliu!--“You may eutwer,
Bertie ”
. ikntie -“>u >;• pa's heed,"—fW
BUDGETOF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
Not Her First Appearance—A Fa
ther's Precaution—The Washing
ton Dude—A Skeleton Feast—
A Powerful Bottle, Etc.
Lawyer (to timid young woman; —
“Have you ever appeared as witness in a
suit before?”
Young woman (blushing)—“Y-yes,
sir, of course.”
Lawyer—“ Please state to. the jury
what suit it was.”
Young womnn (with more confidence)
—“lt was a nun’s veiling, shirred down
the front and trimmed with a lovely ;
blue, with hat to match "
Judge (rapping violently)—“Order in I
tho court!” —Nets York Sun.
A Father’s Precaution.
Youth—“l nave come to ask you for
the hand of your daughter.”
Physician—“ You have?”
Y.—“ Yes, sir. I have enough of this ;
world’s goods to support her in comfort, :
even in luxury.”
P,—“YeS, I am aware of that; but'
will you treat her kindly? Will you he
a gentle husband?”
V.—“ Sir, I vow ’’
P.—Oh, never mind vowing. Your ;
intentions are all right, no doubt; but I
must be sure that you won’t worry and I
fret tho life out of you get her. |
Take off your coat and let me sound you 1
to see what kind of a liver you’ve got.”
Tid-Bits.
The Washington Dude.
Scene—F-street car, Saturday after- !
noon. Dramatis Persona)—Three young
ladies, Treasury clerks, and an ultra-ex- .
quisito dude, strangers all around.
Dude, to yonng lady nearest fare-box
—“Aw, may 1 twoublo you, Miss, to
pwas my fwaiah,” handing the yoy,ng
lady a quarter,, which she “dwops” into
into the “bwox.”
Dude fidgets about a few moments, 1
and then addressing the young lady, 1
says: “Aw, pawdon me, Miss, but that
was a qwartah you dwopped in the
bwox.”
Y’oung lady, graciously—“Oh, was it! j
Well, I guess they’ll let you ride for a
quarter.”
Dude sucks his cuuc and tries to thiuk.
Washington Critic.
A Powerful Bottle.
The following Btory is told of the gen- j
ernl trallic manager of a Southern rail- j
road. Some time ago, as he was return- ]
to New Y'ork from the South, the train ;
on which he was riding stopped at Eliza-1
bethy and among the passengers wb
boarded it was a richly-dressed lady, who ;
entered tho car in which he sat anil anx- j
iously glanced around for a sent. The
train was crowded, and Mr. O. immedi- I
ntoly arose and gave tho lady his, tho
outer half of the seat, and stood in tho
aisle near by. When Newark was reached
the gentleman who occupied the other
half got out and left the ear. The lady
at once arose, as if to give Mr. O. his
portion of the seat, shook out her skirts,
seated herself again with her back to the
aisle, and put her little hand satchel on
the other half of the scat. By this timo
many of the passcugers had become in
terested in the situation. When the train
reached that portion of the meadows
between Newark and Jersey City on
which the phosphate works are situated
the terrible stench, so familiar to those
who habitually travel on the Pennsylvania
and Morris and Essex railroads, pen
etrated the cars. Quick as thought, the
lady seized her satchel, got out a bottle
of smelling salts and clapped it to her
nose. Mr. O. saw this, and, leaning
over, he said to a couple of gentlemen
in tho seat immediately behind her:
“QcntlemcD, what in thenameof heaven
has that woman got in that bottle? ”
The ladv instantly turned, and said:
“It is not this bottle, sir, which
smells.”
Amid the universal laughter he retired
to another car, but not until he had shot
back: “Madam, as long as I live I’ll
never forget the smell from that bot
tle. ’’ —liar tier's Magazine.
A Skeleton Feast.
Bliggins—“Hullo, there’s Wiggins,
Queer fellow, Wiggins. Do you know
kim ! ”
Spriggins—“No. lie’s a queer-look
ing chap, though.”
Hliggins—“Queer? Well, I should say
so. And he’s al ways doing tho queerest,
most eccentric things. Now, what do
you suppose he did last week?”
Spriggins—“Blessed if I know. What
was it? ”
Bliggins—“Well, now, you'd hardly
believe it, but that man got up a skeleton
feast.”
Spriggins—“Skeleton feast? What’s
that,!”
Bliggins —“Why, skeleton feast, you
know. Most eccentric idea. Had a big
dinner down at his house—nobody in
vited but me—and had seven skeletons
arranged in chairs around the table.”
“Spriggins—“Horrible! I don’t be
lieve you enjoyed your dinner much.”
Bliggins—“Web, I did, though.
About as much as I ever enjoyed any
dinner in my life.”
“Spriggins—“You don’t mean it!
What, with seven skeletons sitting at
the table with you! Heavens, man, it
would drive me mad!”
Bliggins—“Oh, no, it wouldn’t,
! my old boy. It didn’t me.
j Didn't you know that Wiggins had a
| pretty wife and six lovely daughters!
They made up the party. And they all
, brought their skeletons with them.”—
! Summerville Journal.
Motherly Firmness.
Two boys in bed. Jim (to Tom) —
“Take your old feet away, now.”
Jim—“ Ain't hurtin’ you.”
Tom—“ You are gettin' over on my
place.”
Jim—“ Ain’t.”
Tom-" Are.”
Jim—“ Story. ’•
Mother—“l.'hil iren, go to sleep "
Tom—“ Jim kuops on a puttin' his old
feet on me.”
Jim—“ Ain't, maw."
Mother—“ Jimmie, taka your feet
away."
Jim—“ Ouch! Mow, Tom pinched ma,"
Tom -“Didn't, mow."
Mother— “If you don't go to sleep I'll
coma (bars au whip you both.”
ONE DOLLAR Par Annum, la Adraaaa.
Jim—“T ain’t flone—quit that nowl
Maw, make Tom quite tryin’ to cut me
with his old toe nail.”
Mother—“ Tommie, behave yourself.”
Tom—“ Ain't doin’ nothin’, maw.”
Jim—“ Are too,’maw.”
Tom—“ Ain’t—ouch! Maw, Jim’s a
pinchin’ me.”
Mother—“Go to sleep this minnte or
I’ll come there and whip you both. Not
another word out of you. Just another
word if you dare.”
Jim—“ Gimme my pillow.”
Tom—“Tuke your old pillow. Onch!
Maw, Jim's a kickin’ me.”
Mother—“ Didn’t I tell you I’d whip
you? Never mind, you shan’t go down
town with mo to-morrow.” —Arkaneate
Traveler.
Facte About Wigs.
The proprietor of a hair-dressing es
tablishment which is very largely: patfun
ized by ladies of this fit)’ wlaen asketh-.
about wigs, said that witjtthe latest im
provements in that artiefe whether worn
from necessity or for appearances, it is
possible now to coverings
to take the place of hair which will baffle
even a close inspection \Jn addition to
this, convenience and coihfort are alto
now taken into consideration bathe wig
maker, and the “latest thinipiiia’r’Je
scribed as “light, graceful ari<u\onven
ient.’’ When asked if it wAs not neces
snry to personally measure the head and
take its shape in order to make a wig to
fit “perfectly.” as is guaranteed, the re
porter's informant said that it was not;
that if certain measurements were fol
lowed carefully, that was all that was
necessary. These measurements are:
No. 1. Around the bead, on a line where
tbe forehead ends and the hair begins down --
over tbe earzfo the upper end of the neck. J
No. 2. From the hair on the forebeazL
straight back over the top of the bead to tjie
nape of the neck.
No. 3. From car to ear across the forehead.
No. 4. From ear to car across the crown.
No. 6. From temple to temple around the
hack of the head.
For gentlemen's toppers a paper pat
tern should be cut the exact sftb of the
bald spot and fitted to the head smoothly
by taking in the paper on the edges and
fastening the folds with a pinf The in
structions that must accompany tho
measurements are Interesting. Ladies’
wigs arc always made with the parting
or seam in the centro unless especially
ordered otherwise. Gentlemen must bo
particular to state at which side they
desire the seam or parting, and it must,
always be remarked whether the hair is to
be curly or straight. The cost of a wig
varies from $8 to S2OO according to color,
length, fineness of hair and quality of
workmanship. The most costly are
made on a foundation of hair lace. Each
hair is carefully selocted and knotted to
a mesh of the lace. Such a one is an
“invisible wig." It can be parted any
whoro-liko natural hair. An extra fine
full wip( with twcntyjnch hair naturally
j curly, costs from s>2o to SSO. A lady's
\ invisible day wig cost from SSO to $l5O. j
! A lady’s full invisible wig, in fine
' blonde, drab, auburn, gray or white, of
any length of hair up lo thirty six
inches, costs from $123 to S2OO. A fea
ture of tho business is the Indies' half
wig. A. great many women, itis staled,
have an abundant growth of hair on the
back of the head, while little or none
j remains in front or on the top. To part
with the natural hair on the back of the
: head, so as to admit the adjustment of a
wig, very few feel inclinel to do. It is
in order to accommodate ladies thus af
; dieted that the half wig has been made.
They cost from $lO to S3O. —New York
Mail anil. Express.
Split Ten-Dollar Notes.
Anew departure in the matter of coun
terfeiting money was brought to light at
the United States Sub-Treasury in Haiti
i more a few days ago. A somewhat worn
ten-dollar Government bill, was pre
i sented at the cashier’- window with are
-1 quest for change, which was given. Tho
(notewas sent to Washington as muff
. lated currency, and was returned
the information that one side of the note *
was gojd, but the other side was a well
. execute’! counterfeit of the original. It
was found that a genuine ten-dollar bill
had been split, the face being separated
1 from the back, a seemingly impossible
undertaking. The original face with a
counterfeit back had been used, audit is
quite likely that the genuine back with
a well executed counterfeit face has been
passed in some other quarter. More re
cently another ten dollar “front” was
presented at the cashier’s window with a
similar request for change. The clerk
at the window, suspecting the bill, told
the man who handed it in to wait * mo
ment until he could consult Dr. Bishop;
the Sub-Treasurer. Dr. Bishop recog
nized in the note the familiar game, and
said it was worth just "f?.. When the
clerk returned to the window, the man
j had left without waiting for his chaaga.
The Sub-Treasury, which was out $5 on
the first transaction, was evened up by
the second. —Baltimore Bun.
Unml Qualities of the Oyster.
“It is all nonsense about a steady diet
on oysters being injuriousto the system,”
said a wealthy Thirty-fourth street phy
sician to a reporter the other day.
“>!any persons think so, however. It
may be true that oysters do not produce
the most plea ant results when cooked in
a rich style and eaten just before going
to bed. Whe" taken with wine late at
night, of course, if there is any bad ef
fect the next day the oysters are blamed
for it. Oysters have excellent medicinal
qualities, " are nutritious, and when
plainly looked or eaten raw are very
wholesome, csiiecially so in cases of indi
gestion, and that is something that can
not be said of any other alimentary sub
stance. During my experi nee 1 have
i found in several cases where oyster* have
been taken daily they have aone much
! toward curing the patient. Invalids have
discovered in oysters the required ali
ment, beedee being by far the most
agreeable food to take. Haw oysters,
; too, are said t > be good for hoarseness,
j although I have never tested their merits
on that point. It is my belief that the
oyster i* the most healthful article of
food known to man.”—Ain* York Mail
. and Kr/ii-ett.
.V newly-formed church among the
Zulus has tho following among its regu
lations : “So member sh ih be permitted
to drink ths w bite man's grog or native
beer, nor to touch It with hi* Ups."
Crater Lake in Houthern Oregon, U
over two thuuniyjd feet deep— the deep*
, eel in America.
JiO. 40.