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VOL. IV.—NO. 13.
THE JOURNAL
HY IA HATTL & (IHAMiiJt'iY.
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JOr- T. l_> S enliins,
ft r x | '7- 7;.. ...7. tikt,
'. <.••• " ■ > " ’; -'••
>v v* ;-•
HAMILTON, ;A.
T. M. M o HIE V,
ATTORNEY AT LAV/,
HAMILTON, GA.
'TTill 'coHliwp t<> rmelirf- tnw In nUtlie
Rtste Mtitl Unit ,! B'rt-i> Oorts.
TIIOS. & MITCHELL, If. I).,
Rpsldcnt Physician and Scrgrcn,
HAMILTON GEORGIA
Special attention given to opmuve surgery
JMT' Terms Cspli “VWt
CHATTAHOOCIIEE HOUSE.
By J. T.HIGGINBOTHEM.
WEST POINT, 0 A
ALONZO A. DOZIEU,
Attorney and Counselor at Law,
COLUMBUS, GA.
Practice* in State and Federal Courts in
Georgia arnl Alabama. Makes Commercin'
Law a specialty Office over C. A. He <S
Co’# store, Columbus. Ga. dec4-ly
Hines Dozier,
ATTORNEY*AT LAW,
HAMILTON, GEORGIA
Will practice in the Chattahoochee Circuit
•r an> where else. Office in the Nottlvrve
corner of the Court-house, lip-stars. janß
Columbus Dental Rooms.
W. T. PJOL, Plopu etor,
Bforr'a Jfrmr firi'diur. frlnmV, Ga
CENTRAL H'J'T * L,
Coltimtons Or <
Mrs. S. E. Woldripoe, Prop
E. 1. llarvkt, Clerk.
U. A. BUSSELL. C. K. ItUSSEELI
RUSSELL & RUSSELL
Attorneys at Lam,
ftOLUMBUS, .... GA.
Will pre.ctico in the Stale and Federal
Court a.
ytSS-Offlce over Acee & Murdock's stoic
103 Broad t trect, Columbus. Gs.
K-A.ISTKIjST HO USX
COLUMBIA, GA.
Mrs. V. M. GRAY, Proprietress
J A. Sellers, Clerk.
1)0 THEY MISS ME?
iDo they miss me at home ?—(to tiieymlesmuf
j ’Twould lie an assn ranee most dear
I To kt/rtyv that nafric w;is forgotten,
As thotigl) I had never been there.
I To know that the tailor an l landlord
Anri the hanks where my paper is due,
j And hosts whom 1 now cannot mention.
Had banished me quite from their view.
Do HiVy miss me at home —do they miss me?
When the market for money is tight.
■And collectors in linote are pursuing
Their debtors, by day and by night.
Do the blends once loaned mp a “fifty,"
Ana the others who loaned nxe a “ten,"
Heave a sigh- of regret as they miss me,
And wi ll tl.oy could ecu uie again ?
Do they m*6B me at home ?—do they miss ntsT
Where no longer I’m seen upon ’Change?
And do those who were won’t to assist me,
Stay, “ Uis conduct’s infernally strange ?”
Does the Shyhx-k tho loaned me his money, I
To bear me to regions unknown,
Look in Vida for occas’oa to dun me,
Aud wish I again were at home ?
Do they miss me at home?—do terry miss me?
’Twould be an assurance most dear
To know feat luy name was forgotten,
As though I hud never been there.
But I know that my memory lingers
Around the dear place, us 1 ream ;
And wki.e I've my wits and my creepers
They’ll miss me—the) ’it miss me at home ?
THE EDITOR'S WOOING.
Wo love thee, Ann Muiiu smith,
Aid in thy condescension
We see it future full of joys
“Too numerous to mention.”
arrow in thy glance,
'lhrt by pure love's ceerrion
Has reached our very heart of hearts,
And ‘ asked for one iiircrtiou.”
With joy we feel the blissful pain,
And ere our passion rages
We freely place thy love upon
The “ list of our exonangSs.’
There’s inm-ic in thy lowest t ne,
A uibilvei in thy laughter,
And truth—but “ we will give the fu’l
Paiticuluiß hereafter.”
Oh ! we wo 4 1 tell thee of our plant
•Ali obe aclv.s to shatter,
But we Me full juKt no*', mu* have
“A i rcss < f oihcr matter ”
Thm let us many, queen of Sm-i'hfl,
W thout much Insiiation,
The very thouulit dt th give our blood
“A 1 t get oil cubit ion ”
owitiuK i'r*
\\ linn man Lcknowl.-iig- 8 h’mself
in the wrong, tin re is nothing more
to be Bait). The politeness of the
averadge Nevada editor is delightful.
Tims did iie of the Humboldt Jltyis
ter ackonwledoe himself a liar:
©
“The ex-publisher of this paper here
by acknowledges himself a classed
liar, knave and lmr.-e thief, and ought
t> go wi st lor publisiiiiig that scur
rilous arid lying article about the
editor of the Rey inter yesterday. A
bl n k eye and a bloody nose con
vinces us that we did wrong. Old
in the business is our only excuse.
IJ. A. Waldo.”
“G trine to Frow do Vittals
Down”
The recent shower < f flesh in Bath
county, Ken tut: key, has provoked
quite a religous revival among the
colored p putation there. They seal
hemselves about in little groups,
with their faces turned upward, as it
the heavens were full of mutton
chops, and sintr:.
Ki.m set >erc, hungry nlggah,
K'tm set yore on (Je yroun’,
De Lwd lie am n gwlnc
To frow de vittals down.”
She Meant Business.
They have pome queer girls over in
C ilortidi , One of them, who resides
in the Cache la Pond re valley, had
b en receiving the attentions of n.
, oung man for about a year, but, be
soming impatient at hi failure to
bring matters to a focus, she resolved
•> ascertain his intentions. When he
lext called she took him gently by
she ear, led him to a seat, and said:
“Nobby, you've bin fool n’ ’round
this claim for mighty near a year, an’
ev never yit shot oil' ycr month on
he marryn’ hiz I’ve cottoned to yer
in the square clean through and le\
mod oft’every other galoot thet has
tried to chip in; and now I wan: yer
to tome down to business or leave
the ranch. Ef yer on the tuaray an’
want a paid the’.'.! stick ti'e to ye
till ye pass in yer check* an’ the
good Lord calls ye over the range,
jrtst squeal, and we’d hitch; but'et
that ain’t yer game, draw out, and
give some other feller a show for his
pi'o. Now ring yer song or skip out.”
lie sang.
HAMILTON, HARRIS C 0„ GA„ WEDNESDAY, APRIL 12, 1876.
The Diamond Dracelel.
Hie stormy December nighl teas
closing darkly, ntul the rapidly de
scending snow seemed to till the air
with a wilderness of whirling white
■ plumes. Hut Mrs, Owtinlell,* bou
! do;r, with its luxurious appoint men’B
I and warm! It* in the midst of this
dreary December twilight, seamed
like a bit of summer light.
Bluftche Basset’, the pile young
seamstress, had just folded up the
costly satin dress which she had been
working upon all day, aud was put
ting on her faded bonnet to depart,
when Mrs O a cndcll herself swep in.
1 What! going already ? Be sure
and come early to morrow morning
for 1m in u great burry about the
dress.
"Yes, ma’am, said Blanche, still
lingering, however, as if she expected
something more. But Mr*. Owendoll
went on tossing over the trities in
the table, ns if in eager search lor
some missing toy; and after a min
ute’s hesitation she added, “If you
please, ma’am, I am i-n a great hurry
this evening—would it be convenient
for you to pay me for tire day’s work
no w ?”
“Not to night,” said M-*. Owen
dell, turning hasii y i round. *Yi u ,ct
us though you imagine I am go.
fog to Cheat yoD’out ol your wages!
Perhaps 1 may give it to-morrow; but
don't oy me now T’
An expression of keen disappoint*
inent came over the girls lace; but
she turned away and left the room
without a word, while Mrs. Oscndell
con iuucd lie r turn red search, throw
ing tlie g earning jewels and cosily
ornaments hither tuid thither wit.ii
reckless haste. Apparently the in
vestigation was vain, for at length sh?>
sprang toward tl e door, as if to call
back Blanche; and then remember
ing that the girl had been gone some
lime, she stopped, and stood aw Idle
in deep thought.
Mr. Oivendell was sitting before
the dining-room fire, his leet poire,l on
the fender, in blissful enjoyment ol
ill ■ evening paper. On a tab’e lie*
side him stood a decanter, containing
wte, and in one hand he held a
g!a sla f full of the same rosy liquid.
In short, Mr. O.veiidell was taking
c mdort alt r the ‘Lifull fever” of a
day ill the < i!y.
“Well, my dear,” said the gentle
man lathy, As bis better halt's foot
steps crossed the t hre.-hold ; huhashe
glanced up and saw the peculiar ex
pression of her countenance, ho sat
down the untim lied glass exclaiming,
“Good heavens! Lizzie, what is the
matter ?”
“My diamond bracelet, Frank—
the diamond bracelet, you know— ’’
“What of it?”
“It is gone—sto’en—and I have
rt a*on lo think that PHlanche Bassett
lias taken it.”
“Nomense, my dear I” said Owen*-
dell, who had risen and began pacing
up down the to m “I would as
soon nuspi-ct you of the same thing!
Why, Blanche is innocence itsell!”
“.So I always thought"-'** I would
have said,” answered Mrs. Owendi-ll
hut the bracelet lay on the table in
my boudoir this morning; two of the
servants saw it theie also—and now
it is gone. Blanche is the only per
son besides myself who has entered
the loom since, and I observed she
was unusually perturbed when she
went away. Frank, I atn sure that
she has taken it.”
Owerideil w alked up and do* n the
floor with hurried, angry steps; his
wife leaned against the mantel, pat
ting her tiny slipper on the floor, und
awaiting his final decision.
“I am sorry for Blanche--very sor
ry,’’ he >hl, at length, with a t . i
ed fli--.ii o; pin face; but that hiace
-1-L was worth five hundred guineas.
Search the premises thoroughly, once
more—and it it is not found—”
“Well?’’
“1 v. ill send Tor the police at once 1”
* * it-. * * * *
“A thief, Mrs. Owrndcli? Am I
hi preted of stealing?’’
Blanche Bassett had turned ns
whitens a-die-, ns she stood with
j clasped hands and dilated eye* in the
rarrow room where she dwelt. It
was small, but Very neat, with its
while bed, and the muslin curtain
| Icoped away fn in its one win—
; clow.
“Officers,” said Mrs. Owendob,
; turning to the policemen, “proceed
with your scatch ; and in case it is
| fruitless let the Jaw take its Bourse.
; C r / Frau!
| Mho look her husband’s -am and
| glided calmly from the room, heedless
! of the wild hursts of sobs that broke
from the wounded depths nf the
poor piiv’.s heart.
‘■Liiwie, J do not really think she
took thelirnuolet,’ 1 said Mr. O wendell,
pausing uneasily on the stair*.
“Nonsense ! Was it spirited away !
Are you willing to lose fivo hundred
guineas rather th°tt detect the limit'?’
" Well, Lizzie,” said the husband,
“if it should ever Iranspiie that we
have been mistaken, I shall feel ns if
wo had done a cruel and barbarous
thing this day.’’
* * * * * *
“Good heavens, Liesiel” exclaimed
Mr. Owendell, one mufnt-.g, as he
was glancing over the newspaper at
the breakfast tabic; “it is incredi
ble f>
“ Wlmt’s the matter?'’
“ Poor Blanche Bassett has com
mitted suicide-“poisoed herself last
night I ’’
Mrs, O wendell was more sliocked
than she liked to own—she turned
very pule.
“ Yes ; the paragraph goes on to
state that ‘she WAS driven to the act
by starvation and misery,neverbaving
been able to obtain employment since
sire Hgnred in a certain disgraceful i 1
esse of theft, settle two months ago.’!
I’oor girl! poor g.ri! Lizzie, I shall!
never forgive myself tor the part I
took in that affair.’’
“ If I had supposed she was in such
desli'.ution I wouh’ have sent her
some relief,” said Airs. Owendoll,
thoughtfully. “ I am very sorry,
though there -ran’ be no doubt but
that she stole the bracelet, although
it c“ttld not b proved ; and she was
discharged.”
Mr. Owendoll went to look At the
wasted corpse of Blanche Bi-sett, as
it lay stretched on the little bed in
the narrow room, 'flic pale, pretty
girl had always been a favorite with
the kind hearted man ; and there was
a i a fieless pang at his heart as he
stood there looking down on the
marble fo ehoad and. waken eye
lids of the young Mti*Uiir. And aln n
he went away the attendants mar
velled to find a spray ol cream white
ro.-es, just, blossoming into fragrance,
laid in the lily hands that were cros
sed so meekly on the girlish breast.
* * * * * * *
A mi and afternoon in April—the sky
blue, and fleeted with soft islets of
floating cloud, and Mrs. OWendell’s
flowers exhaling a perfect sea of
sweets around her. The door opened
- it was her maid, with a package in
her band.
“If you please, ma'am, a gentle
man just arrived from China left this
—it is troin Mr. Grenvil e, he saya.”
Gilbert Grenville was Mr • Owen
deh’s favorite nephew—a wild, har
um-scarum fellow, full of fun und life,
who had started tor China on some
official appointment the very day—
that suspicion first over-clouded poor
Blanche Bassett’s life.
She threw aside the unopened
package, and eagerly broke the seal
of the letter, which ran thus :
“ My Dearest Aunt —Pray don’t
blame me any more than I deserve
for what, after all, was a mere act of
G enville’s carelessness, and I have
been uneasy about it ever since. You
remember, the day I catnc to hid you
good-by, your showing me a diruond
b"acelet, laughingly compar
ing it to my diamond ring, of much
less value? Think of my being Care*
less enough to wear the bracelet off
on my w rist (a young man at that,
too) and never discovering my mis
take until titty miles of blue sea rolled
between me and home. 1 know you
must be anxious, so I send the brace
let to you by a good triad of mine,
who is in a homeward hound cat
which passes our ship this morning.
“ Moral —D< n’t trust valuable jew
els iii the irreverent jaws of a careie-.-
young scHpegtacts again. Love to
my uncle—will write again soon.
“Your affectionate nephew,
Gilbert.”
Mrs. Owended threw down tin
letter, and lore open the package
with lingers that trembled so violent
ly that she couio hardly unfasten the
securing hands. There it lay tremb
ling in the light like so many drop
ot golden water*-- h . diamond brae* -
let which had been the death warrant
of poor Hianche liassetl I
With a piercing scream she sank
back on the sofa. Hut it was too
late for the young victim, who had
passed far beyond the reach of ear. li
ly restitution or amends, into tht
iuiiti rt here Uoil is eu-Mia.-y j:t-t
3 :
What's r PrJtift'Tt
A pr’n’er is the most cm ions be
ing living. He may havo a “bank”
and "quoins’ 1 and not bn worth a cent;
have “small taps” and havo neither
wife nor cliildh-n. Others may run
fast, he gets along swifter by “setting”
fast. He may be making “impres
sions’’ without eloquence, may Use
the “lye” without offending, aiul still
tell t,lie truth; while others can not
stand while they set, he can “set”
standing, and do both St the same
time; may have to nso “furniture.”
and yet have no dwelling; may make
and put away ”pi” and never see a
pie, much less eat if, during his whole
life ; be a human being and a “rat” at
the same time; may “press’’ a good
deal, attd notask a favor; may handle
a “slmoting iron,” and know nothing
übout a cannon, gun or pistol’; he may
move the “lever*’that moVislbe world
and yttt bo ns far from the morning
globo as a hog nndcr a molehill;
‘spread sheets” without being a house
wife; ho may lay his form in a “bod,*
and yet be obliged to sleep on the
floor; he may use the “dagger’’ with
out shedding blood, sml from the
earth may handle “stars” } be maybe
of a “rolling” disposition, and still
never desire to travel; he oan have
a “sheep’s foot,” and never be deform
ed ; never without a “case” and knows
nothing about law or physic; be is al
ways correcting his “errors,’’ and be
growing worse every day; have “em
braces,” without ever having the
arms of a lass thrown around him ;
baVo his “form locked up,” and at the
same time be far from jail, the watch
house, or any other oonfincin.-lit; he
might he plagued b> the “devil,” and
ye' be a Christian of the best kind.
Typo-
A NIHA/iJI/ OF IS EE W.
B imtient, B prayerful, 13 humble. B mild ;
B wi-e as a Solon ; B meek as a child:
B studious, B thoilidlliil, ISlttVirt.9, B kind ;
It sms you wake matter tmlsiorvieiit tomiud;
B uts o is, Ji prudent, It trustful, H true;
B courteous to all men; B friendly with few;
B temperate in argument. in pleasure, in wine;
1! u.iti;uPof eon-liict, ofon ncy, o time;
B chcciful, B Krateful. li hopeful, B firm;
B peaceful, beuuvoliut, willing to learn;
It Kentle, courageous; B liberal, B just;
B liumlile, aspiring, because thou ait dtist;
1! penitent, drciiuispect, sound in the faith;
B active, divotcti: B faithful till death;
B lien, st, dependent, transparent; Bo pure;
B holy, B Ohristlike ; und you’ll lie secure.
A Loafer’s iSoliloquy.
He was a lone one, the wind whis
tled round the corner and toyed
with his sealless trousers; tin* drouth
was consuming him, and the old
town pump refused to yield anything
more exhilarating titan water, Cast
ing a wistlul eye ai the place where
they sometimes set ’em up, he plain
tively murmured: “I wish I knew
where to get a cent, I do. lilcsi if
I don’t emigrate. Money’s scarcer
than wit, und wit wont pay for the
drinks. Times ain’t now us they
used to was. Nobody trouts, nobody
invites me to lunch, ll’lieve I am
uuout played out; old chums pass by
on ’loiher bide, and the pigs curl
their tails with scorn as they come
rootin’ around.
I’m an injured individual. Society
persecuti u me. I don’t do society
no harm ns 1 knows on. I don’t rob
widders’ houses; I don’t know no
widders, and it 1 did none of ’em
would many me. I don’t pul the
botlio to my neighbor’s lip*. I ain’t
got no neighbors; and the lucL is I
don’t own any hollies. Coulu’ni fill
them it i did.
I’m mi mu cent man. Nobody can
look me in Lite lace and say 1 ever
hurl ’em ; and yet 1 haven 7 got a
roof to lay my Dead into. My land
lady iuitu me —why ? 1 couldn’t pay,
and 1 hut. Cause why ?—ain’t H
t.i u.r o o welt in a corner of house
toil, l an wltn a hrau.iug woman in
a wine houe ? Hue 1 ain’t got a
t.oiinu top; and it 1 had, a corner
wouldn’t he ate, would u?
I’m a deupTii man. i’ll go to
work if it wasn’t tor my excessive
benevolence. I am afcaid ot taking
the bread out ot somebody’s nioiiin.
Besides, wisdom’s thepiincip e thing,
don’t the good book say bo ? W tint’s
money to wisdom? Ain’t t -ui-.yiu’
c.’.Hi'rtctei ? If a man kim me he
c ui-e 1 can’t pay for my ticker, ain't
1 getlin’ understanding ?—iin’i H .*
lesson in human iuut i I’m tout
he world owes rue u livin’, vv hen
in it gold’ to pay, 1 wonder? in.
.ired waitin’; ant it somethin don’t
turn up purly soon, blest it i shan’t
have to run for tlie j •<*-eec • • :•
.tart r. coti < v ; .a- . *•
A Yoico for Reform.
April 2nd, l8?(T.
Ed. Jourkal. —There is a great
deal ot grumbling and growling a
inong the little doge, and equally ns
mtich biting nud snatching nmontt
the larger owes. There has been so
much of the former done by the
email doge that larger ones pay but
little attention to it, and only seem
the more determined to Swallow up
cxerytlung in reach, fearing that
they will not gel their share of pub
lic ’gtcasC,
Now Ido not, wish to cnoonrage
this grumbling, etc., or to be guilty
ot doing so myself, but I consider it
highly essential that wo should
watch ns well as pray, for corruption
and rascality in high places is the rule
and not the exception; and it is only
by the barking of a smaller dog that
a larger one is kept at buy.
Belknap, with his rascality throws
the blame upon his wife—one half of
himaeli; Robeson, Schencck, Bristow,
Orville and U. S, Grant arc receiv
ing censure by the public* They
have been going It on a Vast schedule,
and they should receive the con
demnation of tho country at home,
and in foreign countries.
No better time than the present
will, probably, ever COtUe to show to
public officials that we are watching
while they are preying :ud feasting
on our goods. By history, this is
said to be the centennial of our exis
tence, and, therefore, a suitable op
portunity preaonts itself for us to re
view our work, aud behold tho dis
tance we have travelled from the old
land-mark; see the downward strides
that we have made socially, financial
ly, politically and intellectually. Lut
us, in this tho centennial of our ex
isteucy, show to our public servants*
tlist thottgh limy have made rapid
progress in the science of theft, that
we will denounce and punish them
for all their crimes, whether they be
of a neglectful character or deed*
actual y committed*and that, for tho
tuture, we will reward only virtue
and honest intellect.
VVp hope tlmt we h-iVo A Tow in
our CongtosH or \JI S. Senate who
will watch ofir treasury, detect the
impositions, and punish the frauds in
our revenue. YVe hope that the
different states have a sufficient num
ber of honest representatives to make
the reform essential to the prosperity
of our State finance, and for the re
duction of our taxes; and that the
different grand juries will consider
well their responsibilities, and per
form their whole duty. Wo hope
that these guardians of the people
will make, a combined effort to hold
their respective officials responsible
for their actions, hut we Imvo fears
tint this work will be, as in the past,
neglected, for it acenis that the exec,
utives, representatives, and even the
preachers, in some instances, have
lost sight of the people’s interest,
and only regard si If and self. A
few instances in proof: President
Grant will, for a bull iice, a wa eh
for his wife, or an Indian pony, be
tray his trust, aud give position to
thieves; Congress can even gel its
consent, iff er oat it, to punish only
the guilty of opposite parties, pro
tect ilia guilty and conceal the guilt
of its own patty, and vote for its
members more of the people’s money
than the people are willing to give
them, and in addition to this, they
can steal hack pay, and disregard
the constitutional rights of both
states and citizens.
The patronage a lowed some of (lie
governors, to a considerable extent,
is abused in the same manner. Come
nearer to our own—the Empire Slate.
Our Legislature in alrmd of the peo
ple's voice in n Constitutional Oon
v nt.iori; they have proven that they
disregard ilie wishes of their conntit*
m ills by refusing to provide for a
Convention j they prove it, whenever,
they refuse to reduce their own pay
and mileage; tlic-y prove it, when
they consume our time and hundreds
of our money in frivolous c!a* or lo
e 1 legislation ( they prove it, when
they ii, gleet to lessen the burden ol
taxation. In many instances they
prove an IncOmpetency or careless
ness by exacting laws that are un
constitutiouai; that, involve their con
stituents in law, when at the same
time their c iistiiueni* are unable to
pay the , x i'll nosed upon them.
iu many t somcee mis i, not con
lined to Na ion .I and Chute officials,
out comes into Counties, where also,
total disregard ot the people's n
l.-res. is perceptible, and the people's
money is u-ed too treely.
1 m y tie accused of grumbling
or grow nig without a cause, yet we
s-e none* the le determined to
“watch whi.' l ? others imy,
’ V >"
$2.00 A YEAS
hash.
i . -' T
“ Vos, I want injt daughter to
study rhetoric,” rep’icd a Vermont
mother, for she ciii'l fry pan cakes
now without smoking the house all
Up.”
Precocious boy, munching the fruit
of the date tree —“ Mamma, if I eat
dates enough will I grow up to ho
an almanac ?”
“ Vottr dress,” said a husband to
bis fashionable wife-, *• will never
phase the men.” “ I don’t dress to
please the men,” was the reply, “but
to worry other women.”
Statistics are given to prove that
of the sum total of human misery*
physical mid mental, w omen have to
bear tv o third .
‘ I thought you said your head
ached five minutes ago*’’ sAid mother,
when George asked for more Candy*
“ So I did,” said George, “and I sup
poso it does now, only I can’t feel it.”
A young lady in tiilmer county
cidentally put her ‘rosin’ in the same
pocket with her snuff, nud had to
leave church because Bho thought she
was spitting blood.
The Woman's Journal advised
girls to take none but healthy hup*
hands, whereupon a batchelor editor
suggest that “they’d bettor take any
they 0 ta get.”
Moony folks are so anxious for
sorrow that they are not only willing
to hold their own nozo to the grind
stun ov life, but are willing to turn
the mean tiling besides—[Billings,
Hunch one.o told a droll story of a
man who, being suddenly raised to
riches, exclaimed, in the tidiness of
bis aatisfactioii, “Oh, that I con'd
itand in the road and seo myself tido
by in my carriage.”
“I don’t take any attack in saving*
banks, and lie liahgcd to them!’’
said an indignant depositor yester
day. “He hanged to them?” re*
toned another; “you may well say iti
there’s many of ’em suspended al
ready.”
If a body spy n Ij .dy
Creeping around his lot,
Shouldn’t a body treat a bad/
To a load of nlmt?
A subscriber to a Southwestern
newspaper died recently, leaving fout*
years subscript ion unpaid. The ed
itor appeared at tlio grave and de*
posited in the cofiiu a palm leaf fati
n linen coat, and a thermometer
A Michigan farmer's danghlfir ai*
most killed a young fellow last week
by putting a dose of condition pow*
ders in hi* cider. He was slow in
his wooing, and sli* wan o I to make
him “trisky'’ as sha calls it
A judge tbits addressed a coun
cilor—‘‘l’ray, Mr. ■* , are you eoi *
earned for the prosecutor?" No,
said he, “I am employed for the
prosecutor, hut I am concerned foi*
the prisoner.’’
Two Hibernians were passing a sta*
tion which hud a rootter on if for a
weather-vane, wbou one addresse 1
the other thus—“ Pat, what’s the rea*
soil ihey didn’t put a bin up there in l
si earl of a rooster?’ “An sure,’ re
plied Pat, “ that's nisy enough; don't
yon see it would he inconvenient to
go for the eggs.’
A Detroit boy paid his first visit to
one of the Union schools the other
duy as a scholar, and when he came
home at night his mother inquired :
“Well Henry, liow do you iike going
to school?” ‘Bully,” lie replied in an
excited voice, “1 saw four boys lick
ed, one gi I got her car pulled, and a
big scholar burned his elbow on tlm
stove. J[ don’t waul to miss a day.’*
Puss Him Around,
We would remind our merchants
to look out for a certain John 11.
Kearney, drummer for the sin.a
bouse of Smalts, Monroe ifc Cos;, ef
Philadelphia, who took occasion in
Mon tied In, the other day, to abuse
and slander the Southern people and
iheir leaders in the late war. YVe
mention this merely to advise t,ur
met chants to give their orders to
those who, whaler' !" ’.heir opinions,
have at least some respect for the
feelings of thosu whose patronage
they are soliciting. “Ghe him a
cold potato and let him go. * — iiai/t*
',u\ i '‘j<> Dimwit '.tt.