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JOTTINGS AND CLIPPINGS. Too can’t draw blood from a atone, bnt you can atone a “bl/Sd.” It’s a long lane that has no turn, but it sometimes runs up against a fence. Th* London JHmcs is grumbling at uie lack of pnblio parka in the great Lnglish metropolis. “Do you go to the Adirondacks this summer, my buck?” “No door, I’ve another roe to hoe. ” A bat poison is advertised that will make rata go away to a neighbor's house and die. It fills a long felt want. The Derrick tolls of an Oil City man who has to turn his toes in. If he didn’t they would hit the sides of tire streets. One of Illinium's Zulus has run away from the show. Show this to your wife, if she wishes to venture out on a picnic. An Irish gentleman, speaking of the scarcity of feed in Utah, says that thous ands of cattle have had to be killed to save their lives. “Water always seeks its level;” and if thore is too much wliisky in it, it makes a man seek his level, too.—Nor ristown Herald. A new shade for silk is oalled "lemon ade color,” whatever that may mean. New Orleans Picayune. It means a heavy watered silk. Among the. assets of agrocer who failed in business in a Wisconsin town is put down: “One liver-pad, worn six weeks —worth fifty cents. ” Birds begin their morning concerts shortly aster 3 o’clock, and it is only the early riser that can have the full benefit of their sweet songs. We can’t see why prize fights are so very bad. The two principals get what they deserve, and rpre or less loafers are crippled or killed. The men who pack the little boxes of figs have wonderful memories. They never forget to put the wormy fruit at the bottom of the box. David Davis is not the sort of a man to stay on the fence long. — New Orleans Picayune. That’s so. No fence can stand it over half an hour. Br drinking kerosene you can cure yourself of diphtheria, but before you try it, consider which is preferable, drinking kerosene or having the diphtheria. When a Kentucky paragrapher writes a word that the printer can’t make out, the latter sets it up as “mules,” and nine times out of ten he gets it right.—Bos ton Post. Business men frequently advertise for “a boy to run errands.” 'The way boys crawl to and from the postoffice indi cates that the boy expected to run has never been found. The law against carrying concealed weapons does not apply to bicycles. They are revolvers, but they avoid cart ridges, and never go off of themselves. —Philadelphia Bulletin. Reginald Bond is the name of an aristocratic Boston banker. He writes his name Reg. Bond “ for short,” and irreverent persons call him Registered Bond—but not to his face. New York is accused of paying more for tobacco than bread, but a man cannot be always chewing bread, and he cer tainly cannot smoke it, unless he is a baker.— Commercial Advertiser. The venerable Peter Cooper has been in the habit erf sitting on the air for so long a time that it will be perfectly natural when it comes time for him to be an angel.— Nqiv York Commercial Ad vertiser. A wealthy manufacturer of Connecti cut having built an elegant mansion, and wishing to take a second wife, said to his architect: “Which agrees best with brick and brown stone, brunette or blonde?” It has been discovered that phamnus frangula is a good substitute for rahmus catliarticus, and only costs half as much. Then of course it wall probably supply the place of the other to a considerable extent— Peck’s Sun. An eminent Boston preacher once said that it was a mockery to pray at night for sweet and refreshing sleep, without seeing to it that the bed-room is well ventilated. God takes care of those who take care of themselves. Mrs. George Eliot Cross will reside in Cheyne Walk, Chelsea. The marriage of the eminent authoress has caused a great deal of hard feeling among her friends, who seem to know more about her business than she does herself. Flashing. Every one is familiar with the word flush, as applied to the crimsoned cheeks, when, the minute capillaries, before in visible, become suddenly gorged with blood. The sudden full inflow is the leading idea. The word has for a long time been ap plied to the cleansing of sewers by a copious amount of water suddenly le* into them, and which stirs up the foul contents and bears them before it in its rush. This method of cleansing the sink and soil-pipes of our dwellings should be systematically and thoroughly employed An ordinary stream will flow over the sediment, and allow it to accumulate so as, in time, to fill, and always to be send ing back its odor to the house. The dif ficulty is increased in our sink-pipes by the carelessness of servants in allowing peelings, parings, and bits generally, to enter the pipe, and by the many greasy particles which constantly pass down. It is well, once or twice a week, to re move the strainer, and having filled a bucket with boiling water, to pour the latter into the sink at once, at the same time opening the faucet to the boiler, and allowing the whole to run two or three minutes. This will dissolve the greasy particles, and carry everything off, and render the pipe clean and sweet. The word, of late, has been happily applied to the proper airing of a room by opening the door and the windows in the front and rear, so as to secure, as far as possible, a full rush of the air through. This is the more necessary, since the most dangerous impurity—the effluvium from the skin—is not, like the gases, subject to the law of diffusion, but tends to settle upon the floor, furniture and bedclothing. A mere opening of a window, however long, amounts to but little beyond cool ing the room. A Girl-Man. At the Grand Central Theater in this city is a freak of nature. The name of Gus Mills is pretty well known among variety stage frequenters, but the world has never been told that Gus is a phe nomenon. From early boyhood he has exhibited a passion, not for girls, like other boys, but to be a girl himself. This desire became a mama, oil at the present time Gus is more girl than mam He dresses as a girl, dances as a girl and flirts with the girls. His female ward robe is probably the most extensive in Leadville, and every article made and everv stitch taken was by Mills own hand. He makes his own striped stock ings and paints his face with exquisite wvTil _Leadville Democrat. Hamit,ton Journal. L&MAR & DENNIS, Publishers. VOL. VIII.—NO* 30. THE UNHAPPIEBT OP WOMEN. An Italian Smltßu’i Ei*rhß< In Ellfra. The life of Montenegrin women may bo epitomized in two words—work and suffering. In some countries women work ns much ns men—in othera more; but on the Blnek Mountain they alone do the work of both men and beasts of bur don. The variety and intensity of their sufferings batllo description. Ido not hesitate to nffirrn that nowhere elso does the female sex live in such a wretched condition. Outbursts of wild joy, noise of gun shots, dashing of glasses, and songs and danoes accompany the birth of a boy in Montenegro; gloom and disappointment hang over the house if a girl comes to increase the number of the warrior's children. Should you congratulate him on the birth of a daughter, he is sure to cut short your intended compliment by saying, “I beg pardon, Bir, ’tis a girl, and sometimes “’tis a snake.” The poor little thing grows up ignored and despised until her bodily strength be comes in some way a source of revenue to the family. The boys monopolize all the affections of both mother and father. The former freqnently suffers the tor tures of Niobe, but for fear of her hus band dares not show her daughter any tenderness. The little waifs of the Mon tenegrin family can hardly walk about the house before they are initiated into household work, and sent up the mour tains to gather dry wood Return they must in the evening, bending under loads that few men would care to carry, or they get a sound flogging and no supper. The flower of their youth prematurely fades because naturo has no time to shape and develop their forms. Excessive labor stamps their faces with precocious age and a repulsive manliness. The body of the woman of the Black Mountains is ill-sliapen and most ungraceful. She is wanting in that elasticity which is the soul of all form. Her carriage is heavy, her step long, and her shoulders are huokle-backed, like the shoulders of all who pass ther lives in journeying up and down mountainous roads with loads not in keeping with their physical strength. She walks with her head inclined on her breast, as though she was orushed by le feeling of her own abjection. Nc wonder, therefore, that she looks on the erect figure of her father, brothers mid husband as on superior beings, in whose presence she ought to tremble and keep silent No wonder that those superior beings, in turn, never miss an oppor tunity to assert their superiority and to rivet the chains by which they keep her as submissive as a slave. Outside of household duties the woman of Montenegro has no opportunity to develop her mental faculties. It is only of late years that little girls have been permitted to attend such schools as the country affords. The improvement, however, oannot be very great for a long time, as the necessities of every-day life absorb all their time, and the customs of the country confine the female sex within the narrow and brutalizing sphere of the lowest manual labor. Long will they be doomed to climb rocks and leap from ravine to ravine to carry home the needed fuel and provisions. Those women strange as it may seem, pride themselves on the hardships they endure. One day, while going to Nicsic by the the mountain path, I met a number of them carrying up the baggage of a party of English tourists. One was seated on a rock, weeping bitterly. On being questioned concerning the cause of her grief, she replied that she had been in sulted by one of the party. He had told her that she would never be able to cany her share of baggage to the top of the mountain. The novelist in search of plots and in trigues would lose his time by visiting the Block Mountain. Aside from patriot ism and self-denial, there is no romance in the life of Montenegrin women. The rude mountaineers have no gallantry. They shrink from the simplest civilities to women. A compliment, even to the girl he loved, would subject a Montene grin to ridicule. Young girls traveling alone in the heart of the region are safer than those under escort Woe to the man, however, who dare address her an improper word. She would have a pro tector in every passer-by, and on reach ing the village, a score of young men wonld vie with each other for the honor of washing out the offense with the blood of the offender. 99 or 999 Tears. The reason for the use of the odd term in leases, 999 years, is given in the New York Journal of Commerce. Lessees and mortgagees m possession of real es tate for 100 or 1,000 years demined the same at an annual rental, retaining a reversion for the last year of the original term. The object of this was an unwilling ness on the part of the under tenant to become bound to the performance of the covenants contained in the original grant; and also, the importance to the lessor of a reversionary interest, without which, under the old English practice, he could not recover his rent by distress. Sometimes this reversion was only for three days or even for one day, but us ually in long terms the last year was re tained. Out of this came the popular notion that the law provided this re straint, and hence leases were made for 99 or 999 years, where there was no rea son whatever for any such odd period of time. In England there was, in special cases, a restraint, on corporations or ecclesiasti cal persons, prohibiting the demise of lands belonging to them to the impov erishment of their successors, for a term Irevond 105 years, and such leases were made for 99 years. There is no such re striction in tins State. An indignant tenant and a rather neg ligent landlord were overheard in the following conversation in front of the Monument, Monday evening: Tenant (indignantly)—“ My chimney smokes. ” Landlord—“ What does it smoke?” Tenant (more indignantly)— ‘ ‘lt smokes everything.” Landlord—“ Has it tried cube be?” Tenant—“Cubebs!” Landlord—“ Yes. Give it cubebs. The chimney has probably got the catarrh, and smoking cubebs will clear the pas sage. ” — Danbury jVeu>*. wht miori.n raw urntrr or MORTAL BF. PROUD.” Oh, why thould the eplrit of mortal be proud? Like a swift-fleeting meteor. % fast-fly log cloud, A flush of the lightning, a break of the wrtr* Qe passeth from life to nls rest la the grave. The leaves of the oak and the willow shall fade! Be scattered around and together be laid; And tl>e young and the old, and the low and the high, •ball molder to dust and togethar ahall lie. Vhe Infant a mother attended and loved, The mother that Infant’s affection who proved, The husbaud that mother and tnfant who blessed, Each, all, are away to their dwellings of rest. The hand of the King that the scepter hath borne, The brow of the priest that the miter hath worn, The eye of the sage and the heart of the brave, Are hidden and loet in the depths of the grave. The peasant, whoee lot wm to eow and to reap, The herdsman, who olimbod with his goats to the steep, The beggar, who wandered in search of his bread, Have faded away like the graes that we tread. So the multitude goes, like the flower or the weed That to let others succeed; So the multitude comes, even those wo behold, To repeat every tale that has often been told. For we are the same our fathers hare been; We see the same sights our fathers have seen*, We drink the same stream aud view the same sun— And run the same course our fathers have run. The thoughts we are thinking our fathers would think; From the death we are shrinking our fathers would shrink; To the life wo are clinging they also would cling, But it speeds from us all, like a bird on the wing. They loved, but the story we cannot unfold; They scorned, but the heart of the haughty is cold; They grieved, but no wall from their slumber will come: They ioyed, but the tongue of their gladness is dumb. They died I—aye, they died; vre things that are now, That walk on the turf that lies over their brow, And make in their dwellings a transient abode. Meet the things that they met on their pilgrimage road. Yea! hope and despondency, pleasure and pain, We mingle together in sunshine and rain; And the smile and the tear, the song and the dirge, BUII follow each other, like surge upon surge. ’Tis the wink of an eye, ’tis the draught of a breath. From the blossom of health to the paleness ol death, From the gilded saloon to the bier and the shroud; Oh, why should the spirit of mortal be proud? SIOO,OOO, dnd the Thus Marriages Caused Vsenty. “My mind is made up, mother,” said young Dr. Delancey, “so let us enjoy our breakfast and not spoil our digestion by thinking of the old curmudgeon who could not even let his eccentricity die with him, but must dispose of his fortune in this idiotic manner.” “But, my dear Arthur,” remonstrated Mrs. Delancey, “one hundred thousand dollars is too large a sum to refuse with out much consideration. ” “I know that, mother mine, but still I refuse it, or rather refuse to accept it with the conditions attached to it. I prefer to choose my own wife.” “Is there no alternative?” “None. ” “What are the exact words of the let ter?” “These,” answered Arthur, taking up a ponderous letter which had been lying on the table, and reading from it: “My IJicar Sib: —Now that the estate of the lste Tobias Queerby is settled, it becomes my duty to inform you that he had imposed a con dition upon his bequest to you. lie bequeaths to you property to the value of one hundred thousand dollars, on condition that you inarry Miss Fidelia Fairfax within two years after his death. The same amount is bequeathod to Miss Fairfax, and I have this day notified her that the same condition is attached to her share of the estate. This condition was not mentioned In the will, as it would not liave been reeognizod as valid by the courts. You need not obey his request unless yon wish, and your legacy will remain unaffected, but ho charges you ana her, as you are upright and honorable, not to enjoy his hard-earned wealth unless you do as he de sires. I enclose a copy of the letter to me ask ing me to acquaint you with liis desires, by which you will see to what charitable societies he wished you to give the money he left you in case you do not yield to the conditions imposed, and in case you decide to act as a man of honor. I am, sir, yours, etc., Obeeneield Kemt, Att’y for the estate of Tobias Queerby." “ There,” cried Arthur, “is not that a terrible condition to impose ? Of course I am a man of honor and I must—yes, must give up this fortune. ” “But one hundred thousand dollars, Arthur, is—” “ Is one hundred thousand dollars, I know. But marriage to one Ido not care for would be misery for a life time. Therefore, as I said before, my mind is made up. What! Did ho think simply because he was the friend in youth of father and this Mr. Fairfax, he can force their children, who have never seen each other, to marry whether they love or hate? No. father has left you well provided for, mother, and I will soon get a practice, and so I snap my fingers at the old fellow’s matrimonial schemes and will make happy a half dozen orphan asylums, to say nothing of Miss Fairfax, who, though she has never seen me, must detest me as she reads her letter this morning. ” “ She may be a very nice young lady, Arthur,” mildly suggested Mrs. Delan cey. “When your father was alive he often spoke of the pretty gill Mr. Fair fax married, and daughters generally re semble their mothers, you know.” “Undoubtedly she is a nice young lady, mother, as society ladies are. I dare say she can rattle off the first con jugation in French, recite Tennyson by the yard, lead a German, tell just which comer of her card to turn down for a call of condolence, or a party call, rave about majolica and the art decorative, give the points of a pun, yawn interest ingly behind a fan, extol the opera, write mawkish poems, each one with an Envoi and, in short, be a credit to her family and the seminary where she was graduated. I can see her now,” contin ued Arthur, shaking his yellow curls and laughing. “She considers me as her property, but hates me because she feels sure of me. ‘Yes,’ she says to her con fidante (chums no longer exist, they have been massacred by confidantes and bad French), ‘ I suppose I’ll have to marry him, the practical wretch.’ ” “Now, Arthur, you are not just; neither are you kind to speak so of a girl you do not know, and have never seen,” said Mrs. Delancey. “By jove, mother!” cried Arthur, bringing his open hand down on the table with force sufficient to make the china and his mother jump simul taneously, "I have aa idea.’’ “ DUM SPIRO, SPKRO.” HAMILTON, GA-, JULY 22, 1880. “ What is it, my non?” asked the lady. “I see by this letter,” explained the young physician, “that Miss Fairfax lives m Metroville. Now, a train leaves here at eleven and reaches there at two. Jack Merton, my college chum, lives in Metroville, and I’ll go there, eee him, and try to see Miss Fidelia Fairfax with out being seen by her. H I liko her looks ril introduce myself, if not I’ll oome home, bid farewell to the fortune and settle down to bachelordom and physio.” “ You forgot that your oousin Uriah cornea to-day and may be offended if you are not here.” urged the widow. “Mother,” returned Arthut. moek eameatly, “if anything oould drive me away from this comfortable homo with more spoed thou my curiosity to see Miss Fairfax it would be the knowledge that that dry old book-worn, Cousin Uriah, was coining here to bore me with his learning and his praises of that blue stocking, his idol Araminta, for whose hand he is too bashful to propose. He’s a nioe young fellow, but, oh, such a bore. That decides me; Igo at eleven o’clock.” And in the smoking train that left Opoliston at eleven o'clock bound for Metroville sat Dr. Arthur Dolancey puff ing a cigar gravely. “ Father, saia Miss Fairfax, while presiding over a cunning little breakfast table in a cosy little dining-room in the most comfortable littlo house in the little city of Metroville, “my mind is made np. I cannot take the 'money—l cannot marry a man at the order of another even if that other does offer me one hundred thousand dollars to do so.” “ Well, ray dear Fidelia,” returned Mr. Fairfax, “Ido not feel oompetent to ad vise you further than bid you follow the dictates of your own heart. Still, my love, I would counsel you not to be hasty, if your dear mother wore alive she would tell you in a moment what to do—l must say, though, Fidelia, that one hundred thousand dollars is—” “ Yes, pa, I know, one hundred thous and dollars is a great deal of money, hut even that sum cannot tempt me to marry a man I do not love—have never seen In fact. Was a girl ever placed in such a humiliating position? I wish the eccen tric old Mr. Tobias Qneerby had been content to keep his eccentricity to him self. The ideal If the friendship that existed between you and Mr. Delanoey and him gave him the right to dispose of the hands and hearts of his friends' chil dren." “But yon needn’t marry him, you know, my dear,” said Mr. Fairfax. "If I had not l>een so unfortunate the past few years I would say at once give up this fortune; but I cannot leave you much, my love, and I know what a comforting thing money is. ” “ But I can’t marry him, pa.” “Well, Mr. Greenland Kent, the attorney, says the condition is not legal. “But oh, pa, Mr. Queerby relied on my honor not to take the money without accepting the condition, and my honor makes the condition binding if the law does not," said Miss Fairfax, decidedly. “ True, my dear,” replied the gentle man, “yet this I must say, Fidelia, i have often heard your poor mother speak of Mr. Delancey, and always in terms ol the highest praise, and, you know that as a general rule sons are like their fathers. I have no doubt he is a most estimable young man.” ‘‘ I have no doubt he is, pa. I dare say that he can interlard his conversation with yards of Latin that he don't half un derstand, can write sonnets and triolets in a lady’s album, can tell the best time of all the oarsmon and race horses, can play polo, can tell what kind of a coat ought to be worn on eaoh day of the week, can say ‘Very clovah, bai Jove,’ as if he were a thorough man of the world, can tell what new play is going to be a success, can flirt with everybody and vow all the girls are breaking their poor hearts for him, con tell college yarns all night and laugh loudest at his own wit, in short, prove himself an honor to society and Harvard College. I can see him now talking to his pal (there are no more class mates; pals and college slang murdered them long ago) and saying: ‘Oh, bai Jupitah, old fellow, it’s adoocedbore, ye know, but the poor little girl will break her heart if I don’t marry her, and I sup pose I will have to, bai Jove, yaas,’ while all the time he hates me Hke poison. ” “Now, now, now, Leslie, my love!” cried Mr. Fairfax, “this is not right," yet ho could not refrain from laughing. “You are unjust, unkind—you should not sneak so of one you have never seen.” “Oh, papa!” exclaimed Fidelia, suddenly clasping her hands and shak ing her black curls, merrily. “What, my dear!” asked the father. “I have an idea. The lawyer’s letter says Mr. Fairfax lives in Opoliston. Now, Ilena Lester lives there, and she’s my schoolmate and she’s been begging me to call on her. There's a train leaves at eleven and I’ll go to-day. I’ll con trive to see Mr. Arthur Delancey with out being seen, and I’ll judge by his looks whether I’ll ask him to be intro duced. If I don’t like him I’ll throw the fortune to the hospitals and become an old maid, and make tea forever for my dear, stupid, loving, darling pa So make haste, pa, I must prepare for my jour ney." “But you are not going to-day, my dear,” complained Mr. Fairfax, “you forget that your cousin Araminta is com ing to-day to stop with us, and she might be offended if you were not here to re ceive her.” “Pa, if anything could drive me from the house it would Vie the thought that I would have to listen to the dissertations of the learned Araminta and hear her praises of that modest, unassuming Uriah, whoever he is. Araminta is a good enough body, pa, but she does weary me so. That decides me. I go to-day. ” In the drawing-room car of the train that left Metroville at eleven o’clock bound for Opoliston, sat Mias Fidelia Fairfax reading the latest novel. “Jack,” said Arthur Delancey, tossing his hat on the table in Jack Merton’s room, and throwing himself on the lounge, “are you quite sure you were right about Moss Fairfax’s house being the seventh from here?” “Of oourse I am. I’ve often been there to see him and his daughter,” an swered Jack. “All, his daughter! I think I saw her at the window as I passed.” “Undoubtedly you did; she sits there all day.” "Lively girl she must be. Hag aha black hair and oyea?" “Yes.” “ And she is—well, not pretty.” “Tlioro you arc wrong. Bho is pretty.” “.Tack, old follow, you always had queer ideas of female beauty. Why she looks like a schoolmarm. Is sho one of the cultured, clover sort?” “ She is, eh. Then I’ve seen her, no doubt. ” “That must have boon her in the win dow, there is no other lady in the house. ” “Oh,” muttered Arthur. "I’ll run to the telegraph offioe, Jock, if yen’ll ex cuso me, mid then I’ll be at your service and we’ll have a jolly night of it.” That afternoon Mrs. Dolouoey received a telegraph dispatch in the following words: Have seen the “ condition.” Good-bye for tune. I wouldn't have her for a million. I leave at eleven to-morrow morning. Arthur. “ Rena, my love," said Fidelia Fair fax, as she come into Miss Roua Lester’s boudoir after u long walk; “I am not sorry yon oould not come out with mo for I kept walking up and down ono street which, though it ploased mo by its pretty houses, would have wearied you who kuow it so well.” “What street was it?” asked Miss Lester. “The st.roet on which you said Mrs. Delanoey lived. By the way, who was the gentleman I saw sitting on the porch?” “Oh, that must have been Arthur. All tho girls arc in love with him.” “I don’t admire their taste.” “Oh, Fidelia; why he’s so handsome." “ Then I did not see him.” " Oh, it must have been he; he is the only man in tho house. ” “ Has he light hair?” "Yes, very light.” “ And a book-wormy look?” “ For sliame, Fidelia, no’s very, vory clever; but lie’s handsome, too." "I don’t doubt ho is the one I saw. Well, the Opoliston girls aro welcome to him. Suppose we stroll to the telegraph office, Rena; I wont to send a message to pa” That afternoon Mr. Fairfax received a telegraph message as follows: I have seen the hundred thousand dollar prize. A million would bo too little. I take ,ihe eleven o’clock train to-morrow morning. Fidelia. Midway between Opoliston and Me troville was a junction of three railroads. Tracks crossed and curved around each other till the ground appeared to be cov ered with an iron network. How it happened no one ever learned, but two switches had been left misplaced, and as the train bound from Opoliston to Matroville came thundering along, it shot off in the wrong direction, tlion seemed to stand still for a moment, then seemed to shiver all over, and the next second tlio engine lay on its side, under two coaches, its driving wheel revolving so that no spokes could be seen, flinging earth and stones and ashes like a volcano. Then, ere any warning could be given, on rushed the train from Opoliston bound for Metroville. A shriek from the whistle, and engines, cars, baggage, railroad ties and tracks became one un sightly mass, half-hidden by escaping steam. In live minutes the discovery was made that no one had been killed and very few injured, and those but slightly. “ There’s a young lady lying on the depot platform who says she thinks her leg is broken,” said an old gentleman to a group who were assisting the ladies. “Is there?” saida young gentleman who was wrapping a bandage around an old lady’s wrist. “All. now, that’s done nicely, he continued, addressing the lady. “ Now,” ho added, turning to the old gentleman, “if you will conduct me to the young lady I will go with you. I am a surgeon. ” The surgeon was Arthur Delancey, and his conductor presented him to a very pretty young lady who was reolin ing on a rough couch extemporized of mail bags. Bne had very pretty black eyes and blaok curls. She did not appear to lxi in much pain, and smiled archly at Arthur. “If Miss Fairfax was only like her!” was Arthur’s first thought. Her injury proved to be but a sprained ankle, and laughing merrily at her former fears she accepted the arm of tho physi cian and permitted him to almost carry her to the hotel. He supported her to the hotel parlor and insisted on giving the black-eyed patient his personal attention, a compli ment she did not swim loth to accept. Homo time was lost in sending for medi cine, and over an hour had passed before the surgeon had bandaged the patient’s foot. lie was standing leaning on the mantel-piece under the influence of the black eyes, and she seemed content to say nothing but quietly admire the doc- golden curls and frank blue eyes, when the hall-boy, who had received several large gratuities from the doctor for having run for medicines, and who was, therefore, his friend for life, rushed into the parlor, saying: “Home one sent telegrams to Gpolis ton and Metroville, saying there’ll lieen a fearful accident, and saying nothing about lives lining lost. Ho two trains have come in, one from each place, full of people looking after relatives, and there are visitors for both of you. ” Bcarcely had he finished when through the broad doorway of the jiarlor ran four people. They were Mrs. Delancey, on the arm of a fair-haired little man, and Mr. Fairfax dragging in a very tall and very black-haired and angular young lady. “Fidelia Fairfax, by Jove!” cried Ar thur, as he saw the young lady. “Oh, my, Mr. I)elancey!’ r screamed the black-eyed patient, as she saw the fair-haired little man.” “My son!” cried Mrs. Delancey, em bracing the doctor. “Fidelia, Fidelia, my daughter!” roared Mr. Fairfax, embracing the black eyed patient “Mr. Uriah!” softly murmured tha angular lady, crossing to the little man. 1. L. DENNIS, Editor. SI.OO it Year. “Oh, Miss Araminta!" squookod U xe littlo man and he sliook hands feebly with the angular lady. “And you oro really Miss Fairfax!” said Arthur to his blook-oyed patient. “I’m so glad." J 1 “And you’re Mr. Delanooy,” said Fido lia; “I’m so glad,” and then alio blushed. “ My dear Miss Fairfax," said Arthur, then, bluntly, “may I hopo that we may both retain our hundred thousand dollars?” “Do you moan retain it with honor,” she asked, blushing again. “Yes. Don’t you think it would be a shame to destroy the calculations of that gsod old soul, Quoorby, who is now no more? Don t you think we ought to do as he wished us to?” “Ask jio, dootor,” said block-eyes. “Araminta,” said Uriah, “this meet ing is auspicious. I—l—will you—will you—” “ I understand you, Uriah. Take mo." rotumod the onguliu ono, and they again sliook hands feebly. Two months later, at Mr. Fairfax’s cosy littlo house, the guests wore assembled to witness the woudiug ceremonies of two couples. They wore Arthur and I’idelia and Uriah and Armenia. . After they lmd been happily united and congratulated, Mr. Fairfax,' who was oonsoliug Mrs. J lelaneoy for tlio loss of her son, said: “My dear Mrs. Delanoey, you are a comfortable sort of a woman and I am a oomfortable sort of a man. I have been mode to-night a father to your son aud you a mother to my daughter. Do you know of any just cause and im pediment in the way of our boooming, ahem—” It apjieared that she did not, the sor vioes of the minister was again put iu requisition, and tho old folks were not the least happy of tho party. Ingenious Escape of Nihilists. Wlion it is remembered that the prisons of Russia are crowded with twice ns many inmates os they are constructed for, and that the pay of the overtaxed warders is barely sufficient to keep them from starva tion, the numerous escapes of criminals may lx)easily accounted for. Theevasious have been so plentiful during the last few years that hardly a day has elupsod with out tho flight of somebody or other from his cell. In the case of ordinary convicts not much surprise is commonly expressed in Russia, but in regard to political of fenders it is known that the precautions taken are so rigorous that the evasion oi any Niliiliat always furnishes matter for nine days’ wonder. The Governor-Gen eral of Kiaff, General Tchortkoff, derived much of the ill-fame with which his name is invested from an order he issued some time ago that all prisoners attempt ing to eacftiH) were to be shot down by the Sentries, without any effort Iwing mode to induce them to surreuder. However, neither this order, nor the sub stitution of solitary confinement for the usual mode of caging the Nihilists in &, has hod any appreciable effect in isliing the numlier of esoapeß. Fomin, the Kliarkoff leader, created some sensation in 1878 by escaping through a chimney, and the seventy criminals oonfined in the same room with liim would doubtless have got clear also had not the tenth—a very stout man stuck at the top of the shaft, and so blocked tho way for the rest. To prevent a similar occurrence, the Governor of Hlootsk Prison, in Minsk, placed Tsrentl Tcherentseff and Ivan Havanlseff in separate oolls, depriving both of their bed linen and superfluous clothing for fear they should try and lower themselves from their third-story windows to the ground. The Niliilists, however, had hardly been in prison a fortnight when the Governor, ono morning, found to his chagrin that the birds had flown. Aided by a pocket-knife they had made a ladder capable of being taken to pieces from tho wooden floor of their cells and tho iron work of their bedsteads, and at night, having picked tho looks of both rooms, they had descended to the basement, emerged through a trap on the court yard, and, fixing their ladder against the wall, had olamberodover, and successfully effected their escape.— London limes. Newly Married Couples. It is tho happiest and most virtuous state of society in which the hnsluuid and wife set out together, make their property togothor, and with perfect sym pathy of soul, graduate all their ex penses, plans, calculations anil desires with reference to their present means and to their future and common in terest. Nothing delights man more than to enter the neat little tenement of the young people who, within perhaps two or three years, without any resources but their own knowledge of industry, have joined heart and hand, and engaged to shore together the responsibilities, duties, interests, trials and pleasures of of life. The industrious wife is elieer fully employing her bands in domestic duties, putting her houso in order or mending her husband’s clothes, or pre paring dinner, while perhaps the little darling sits prattling on the floor or lies sleeping in the cradle, and everything seems preparing to welcome the happiest of husbands and the Istst of fathers when he shall come home from his toil to en joy the sweets of his little paradise. This is true domestic plensure. Health, contentment, love, abundance and bright prospects are all here. But it has liccome a jirevalent sentiment that a man must acquire his fortune liefore he marries; that the wife must ha" no sym pathy nor share with him in the pursuit of it—in which most of the pleasure truly consists—and the young married people must set out with as large and expensive an establisliment as is becom ing those who have lieen wedded for twenty years. This is very unhappy; it fills the community with bachelors, who are waiting to make their fortunes, en dangering virtue, promoting vice; it de stroys the true economy and design of the domestic institution, and it promote# inefficiency among females, who are ex pecting to be taken up by fortune and passively sustained with any care or con cern on their part, and thus many a wife becomes, as a gentleman once remarked, not a “helpmate,” but a "helpbeat.”— Golden Age. People always sympathize with the lender dog in the fight, but they bet their money on the other animal. FANCIES TOR THE FAIR. A Chxoaoo girl tried to ran away with a base-bail catcher. Her father became a abort-stop. A milkman at a ball, wearing a pair of pumps, is too much far the good nature of society. Holmes says that tho yean atflnt pelt the girls with roses, and after a while with snow-balls. Not one Amerioaa woman in one hun dred can walk five miles—unless it be on a shopping excursion. Home ja tho dearest plaoe on earth— whon the wife strives to keep a head of all her neighbors in style. Wht is a lady's hair like tho latest news? Because in the morning we al ways find it in papers. The spots on the sun do not begin to create the disturbance produoed by the freckles on the daughter. Oonnemauoh, Po., boasts of a twelve yeiu old gfrl who is a mother, vot the girl is „t proud and positively refuses to lecture. Two hundrq young ladies in Boston aro learning to tho violin. They should appear in theuow opera of “Bow catchio." One of the loading exports to Zanzibar aro “dometie. 'Jhauk hoavon! but do they tako theit kM^, Rcno cans with ’em. —New Haven Register, What is the difference between a sty], ish young lady’s cranium and a ham* mock? One is a bunged head and the other is a hanged bed. (All rights re* served.) Ah Foo Woo is a Boston Chinaman. His name sounds liko the shivering of a woman whon she gets out of bed on a winter morning and steps her bare feet ou the oil-cloth. The l*rovidonoe Press tolls of a lady in that city, who, after attentively ex amining a bust in a window, eagerly in quired: “And who was this Terra Cott* anyway? At a recent Philadelphia pienio, when it was discovered that tho croquet arches hail lieou forgotten, a wicked girl sug gested supplying their places with the two bow-legged young men present. A dride of a month wont to a married lady of a quarter of a year and said': “My thirling says that women ore fools." "Nevermind,’’said the other, “heisonly studying uouns. Wait until he reaches adjectives. ” When a Boston girl’s soul reaches out into the infinite after an idea aud grasps it, she realizes how base and ignoble is the conventionality that obliges a being thus endowed to wrestle with a paper bustle. .About this time expect to sec her walk into tho parlor to say: “Av ye plaza, mum, I thought I'd be going down totha baohe to the hotel, an’ mu cousin's gone already, mum, and I'll lie going to morrow.” Kentucky girls average one hundred anil twenty-six pounds, —Boston Post. Avery comfortublo lap full. —New Haven lteylster. See here, young fol low, the thermometer is fooling around the eighties. Judoino from back nppeoranoes: Hmoll boy (rushing in front of young lady wearmg rather large poke bonnet, and staring her full in tho fax-.e) —■ “You’ve lost yer bet, Charlie; I told yer it warn’t an old woman." “ When I goes a-shopping,” said an old lady, “I oilers asks for what I wants, and if they have it, and it is suitahlo, and I feel inclined to buy it, and it is oheup, and can’t lie got for leas, I most allura take it, without clupporing all day about it like some people do.” A demure, diminutive girl, aged eighteen, is under arrest in Philadelphia for bigamy. Hhe kas three Uviug hus bands, all of whom she has married within two years. When asked why she hail done this, she said: “ They were all good follows, and they coaxed mo to.” A Boston young lady, who has trained her Hootch terrier to come into the par lor at ten o’clock on Huhday evenings and bark at her gentlemon friends, has lieen reported to the police for keeping an unlicensed dog, and the dog-catcher is looking for the animal. The marriage of Mile. Collette Dumas, the daughter of the novelist, is oertainly a romantic ono. Her father took her to a fancy ball, her costume being in the quaint fasliion of the Directory. Her future bridegroom was so doeply im § reused at first sight upon that occasion rat the next day he demanded hsr hand from her family. Married Again Without Knowing It. A man in Toledo, with a wife and three children, became enamoured of an inter esting woman and procured a divorce in an obscure Indiana town. He did not sav a word about it at home. One (lay hisold est daughter received a parcel of patterns from a lady in Indianapolis. It was an old copy of a country newspaper. An ad vertisement attracted her attention. It was an application for a divorce for her father from her mother. The young lady docided to visit her friend in In dianapolis, and to make an excursion ta the county where the divorce had been granted, Hhe returned with ample evi dence that her mother was living with a divirced man. Hhe showed her father s copy of the advertisement, and told him that she bad found out all about him. Ha walked the floor for a minute, and then turned to his daughter: “I have been a very bad and guilty man,” h said; “ but it is not too into to mnk amends. I will go to her and confess all, and undo what I have done.” “ Confesi first to me,” said the girl. “It is Miss who is the woman in the case, is il not?” “It is.” “ I thought as much." “Are you to marry her?” “I was to have married her.” “ You must not gc to mamma yet. She must be your wife again before she knows the fearful truth. ” The young lady was equal ♦ the emergency. The twentieth anniver sary of her parents’ marriage was dost at hand. She invited all their friends and had them married again by th same minister who performed the cere mony twenty years before. She took pains to have her mother’s rival present, and remarked to her in a corner: “Papr and mamma ore married again as fast as law can do it. Whether the truth is ever known depends upon you. Papa will never tell it, I am sure, and for mamma’s sake I never shall. But il does seem to me, dear, that some other climate would suit your constitution bet than this. ” The inference that the telephone would probably work beet when the membrane is slanted toward the source of sound, has been drawn from the fact that the drum of the human ear is in clined at a considerable angle to the xi of the outer ear passage. Nature men tions an instance in which this notion was justified by actual experiment on the part of a gentleman who found “that liis telephone worked beat when he spoko to it in a slanting direction. ” Geological explorations have shown the probability that Russia oontains beds of phosphate of lime of sufficient extent to snpply Europe for en indefinite period.