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THK ffUDERKR’) ISO\C. B 1 MBs J. V. H. BOONS. When through the rough and wintry wor!4 In wretched n*** I roam, With childUh love I breathe the names Of father, mother, home. They bear one 1 aok in fancy eweet To l>oyhx)d , einJ H ia>>. Ere thorn* had j lerrad no) weary feet In desolated v ays; Back to the dear old orchard treej, Bet out by father'* hand, Beneath whoee shade the perfumed breeie My boyish brow haa fanned; While I In ailent wonder lay Upon the velvet gra**, Aud watched in Joy life’a landed play In panorama j>ass. Ah, me! ’tla well those and reams wera gold. Their memory gilds the tesd Of real life, when hearts grow cold And dreamless aa the dead. If there in aught in u survive# The fearful wreck of death, The mother-love that warms our lives Unto the latest breath Must be the part, the deathleea link That binds the soul to Gi>d: That sings to it of heaven and home And lifts it from the clod. il WWKR'S UVFMEKCE. What hearts hare they who hoardethstrife, Who** famished eonhi eith Joy ne’er sing When summer days with cheer are rife, And summer flowers are blossoming. Who think all good men in their grave, And frown and curse and always take An honest man to l <e a kna\ 9, A clever woman for a rake. Come out, abnormal, cankerous minds, Aud bring your gouty joints along; Come quaff the calm of summer winds And oease to brood o’er fancied wrong. Come where the dazzling summer sun Has spread The verdant leaflets' shade, And decked with graces one by one lha modest nympheta of the glade. Come Mat to warbling birds' sweet lay, So peaceful In their shady bowers— “ Have charity sweet, sweet," they say— “Be pure and gentle like the flowers I” ’Mid scenes like these we feel aud know Man wa* not made to Morm and mourn— Come broader views, truths clearer grow— From life’s great problem myths are torn. just n LUCK. Let anybody who likes turn up their nose, I feel not the sligh.est hesitation in avowing that I was in a hurry—in a great hurry. The steamboat bell was ringing, for one thing, and blowing off steam in a way to send a nervous man distracted. I knew I couldn’t run—my boots were too tight. Then my wardrobe was on board—my gray suit, and my bine suit, and thirteen other suits—all my boots and embroidered slippers, fancy neck ties, embroidered handkerchiefs and that new pomade. “I’ll sue the company if they are lost,” I exclaimed mentally. “ What business have they to be so frightfully punctual ? Here I stopped for a moment to talk to Jenks, who has brought over the last new neck-tie, and—” “Ha, ha! You’d better run, old boy; I’ll have the first chance at the heiress.” I looked up and saw Nod laughing at me. Confound the fellow ! How hand some he looked ! If that boat started, should I ever dare to present myself, dusty and begrimed, at Elm Grove to find him there—as, of course, he would be—duly washed, shaved and curled, whispering in Nelly Langworih’s ear. “ Run,” shouted Ned again. The men were already withdrawing the plank. There was a young, very plainly dressed woman just in front of me. “Out of the way, woman,” I said, flushing past her. She screamed slight ly, and would have fallen, if one of the “ hands” had not extended his arm and caught her. So Ned told me, for I was too much absorbed in looking after my baggage even to think about her. Said he: “You nearly knocked that little wqman sitting behind us down.” “Do you suppose I was going to let you have Miss Langworth to yourself ?” I answered, chuckling. “Why, is she so attractiveV” asked Ned. “ Haven’t the least idea, my dear fel low. You know, I’m only acquainted with her father; but I’m sure she’s an angel. She has five hundred thousand in her own right.” ‘ ‘ Five hundred thousand is a nice little sum !” “Yes, when I get it (for, to be plain with you, Fred ( I have a suit in the trunk that I think will put the matter beyond doubt). When I get it, I shall start with Mrs. Nelly for Paris, where I shall spend six months. From there I shall go —” Fred burst into a loud laugh. “Wait till you’re introduced, Jim; perhaps she’s cross-eyed.” “If she were humpbacked, for half a million I’d make her Mrs. Jonquil.” * ‘ Well, you are welcome to her. Give me, a little rosy, bright-eyed woman, who won’t say to me, ‘lt was my money, sir, that made you what you are. ’ ” “There’s the house —-fine old place, ain't it?” I said, pointing to a handsome villa on the bank. “When I’m master there you shall come and spend the summer with me.” Fred laughed louder than ever. The boat stopped, and this little woman, whom I had so nearly knocked down, landed with us ; but what was our sur prise, after ensconsing ourselves in Mr. Langwortli’s handsome to be hold her perched on the driving-seat with the coachman “It’s some governess, or poor rela tion ” I said, trying to reassure myself. “I’ll bet you five to one that it’s Miss Langworth herself. ” “Miss Langworth, indeed! Why, she has actually cotton gloves. There —see!” as we entered the grounds, “ didn’t I tell you so? She iR going in the liaek way.” “Ail the same. She’ll tell the heir ess what you said,” persisted Fred, and would talk of nothing else till Mr. Lang worth and his family appeared, which they only did after a long delay. At the' first word he uttered I cast a glance of triumph at Fred. The little, plainly'dressed woman—who, by-the-by, mas an insipidly-pretty pen on, with blue ’eyes, regular features and brown hair—was a Miss Jenny, a sort of companion to Miss Langworth. who proved to be about five-feet-teu, thin, pale, high-nosed, dashing, and a little under 30. Of course, 1 immediately opened a conversation with her, leaving it to Fred to do the agreeable to the milk-and water Miss Jenny. “You have a charming retreat, Miss Langworth.” “Oh ! yes, sir. Hain’t you never saw it before ? ” early, Miss Langworth was inde pendent of grammar ; but I admired her the more. It was only a proof that she was unsophisticated and not spoiled by the world. “ I am a stranger here ; but I should think this such a spot as Lamb, the great poet, would have loved. ” I hazarded this at a venture, for I am not great in the poetical line ; but I was sure she wouldn't find me out if I did make a blundei. The reply was, however, somewhat unexpected. “Lamb ! why, he used to live down here. He was the butcher, and we used always to be a laughin’ about his name.” I saw Fred and Miss Jenny smile, aud proposed a walk in the garden, where Mias Langworth murdered the Queen's Hamilton Journal. LAMAR & DENNIS, Publishers. VOL. VIII.-NO. 41. English at her own sweet discretion, and I made love at mine, at which she didn’t blush (though I do beliovo she tried to), but giggled in such an encouraging man ner that I think I Rhould have proposed on the spot, if the dressing-bell had not sounded at that moment. “ Splendid, ain't she ? ” said I, enthu siastically, to Fred. “Raw-boned, rather," said Fred, doubtfully. “Raw-boned! She’s a perfect Juno.” “She's no chicken.’ “ Own up, old boy—you’re jealous." “ Not a bit of it. That little Miss Jenny is charming, modest, intelligent, and pretty.” “ Everyone to his taste. Mine, I con fess, is more exalted.” “If yon refer to her height, I agree with you.” “ there goes the dinner-bell.” “ Then you’d better hurry up, Jim. It takes you about half an hour to tie that cravat.” Aud away-went Fred, laugh ing maliciously. He would take the va cant seat by Mikh Langworth, of course. I should be unbecomingly red in the face—my cravat would boa bungle—my left whisker wouldn’t look like a break fast roll, and— down went the jar with the new pomade. I didn’t swear, for it isn't gentleman ly; but I said something forcible about the jar, and went down to tho dining room. There my worst fears were realized. Fred was helping Miss *Langworth to gravy, as I entered, ami the only empty chair was by Miss Jenny. It struck me, as I seated myself, that my arrival had thrown this little person into something of a flutter. She raised her handkerchief to her face, aud when she asked for potatoes I fancied that her voice faltered. I was annoyed. If it had been in a country farm-house, and nobody else around, I might have noticed her; but, with Miss Langworth opposite, I was surprised that she evinced no more dis cretion. It was not my fault if I was fascinating; and, if my clothes did fit well, it was not agreeable to have im poverished young females falling in love with me. I believe she made some remark about the opera, but I turned my head to talk to Mr. Langworth. I would not swear to it, but I think I saw her drop her handkerchief. I could take my oath, however, that Jim Jonquil didn’t pick it up. After dinner, we adjourned to the bowling-saloon, which Mr. Langworth had built in the rear of his house. “Not bad, is it?” said I to Fred. “Only I mean to have a window lot iu there—it’s not light enough.” I heard a suppressed titter behind me, and for a moment fancied that Miss Langworth had overheard me; but it was only Miss Jenny, who seemed to have an unconquerable propensity to burst out into causeless fits of laughter. I stepped past her to Miss Langworth, for I was determined Fred should not outwit me this time. “ Miss Langworth, shall we have a game ? We can play against Fred and your—friend.” Miss Langworth aoceded graciously, and I instructed tier in the mysteries of counting up; for, strange to say, sho knew nothing about it; and I got tlie balls, and I placed them in tier some what bony hands, and I cried bravo when she knocked down a pin, and looked out of the comer of my eye to see the other little woman roll, which she did like a Troian. I must confess I was disconcerted; but I reflected that bowling was a some what masculine accomplishment, and that the lady who could make a ten strike might be able to knock her hus band down with equal grace and vigor. But, of course, Miss Langworth was a proficient in music, of which I am fond. “No,” she said, “I kin neither play nor sing—l couldn’t never abear it.” Miss Jenny could, however; and straightway executed one of Beethoven’s sonatas in masterly style. Fred was in rajitures. But I talked all the more to Miss Langworth, who told me “ she was not cold-hearted, but she was afraid to marry, because every body knew her pa would hand her over $500,000 on her wediling-day, and she was afraid they wanted her for her money. Dear creature, how I loved her—how I burned to assure her of my disinterest ed affection 1 How I longed to ask her to fly with me to some green isle (with $500,000 in her pocket), and live, “ tho world forgetting, by the world forgot,” in a brown-stone palace, in that remoto comer of the beautiful isle of Manhattan known as Fifth avenue. What orders I’d give Graneh, my tailor 1 What a team I’d drive 1 And wouldn’t I have a yacht, and belong to a club, and drink five bottles of cham pagne at dinner every day 1 All this happiness within my grasp, and nothing needed to secure but the momentary absence of Fred and that disagreeable Miss Jenny, who was tit tering again. “ The ladies propose a sail,” said Fred. “ Will you go, Jim ?” Of course I would; and, wrapping Miss Langworth iu a shawl, for the day was cool, we started down a winding path shaded by overarching trees, and, d' scending a few stone steps, found our selves ou a fine gravelly beach, on which lay the boat high and dry. We soon got her off—that is, Fred did, for he was a stalwart fellow, and I didn’t wish to soil mv new pan tali sins—and we helped the ladies into the boat; then I discovered that Miss Langworth had a large ankle, but it failed to dampen mv love. I scorned to lie influenced by such worldly considerations, und I grew even more devoted to Miss Langworth, who leaned up heavily against me, while Fred and Miss Jenny raved. Tlie last-mentioned lady, after a Hhort time, proposed that we should run the boat up in a little inlet, and make our way home by another and more circuit ous route, the whole distance being about two miles. “ She wants Fred to pop the question,” I thought. “ Poor fellow 1 But I’m obliged to lier ; I shall have a chance to projiose to Miss Langworth ;” and so I seconded the move with ardor. Fred agreed, of course, and Miss Langworth said, “La, yes 1 she didn’t care ; ” and, getting out, the lady andmy- self walked on slowly behind Fred and Miss Jenny, who were speedily out of sight. Now was my time. “How beautiful all this is!” said I, “and yet it makes me sad, Miss Lang worth. ” “ Dear me, does it givo you the rheu matism ? Folks do say it’s damp here, but T never feel it.” “Rheumatism of the heart, Miss Langworth,” I answered. “ To-morrow I leave you ; should I ever (which is im probable) Revisit this spot, on whose arm should I find you leaning then ?” Miss Langworth said, archly, she was sure she couldn’t tell. “ A husband’s, perhaps,” I continued, in my deepest bass voice; some fortu nate lieing, who, unlike me, may be es teemed worthy to possess that priceless treasure"—l meant the five hundred thousand dollars; but I said—“your heart. ” “I shall never marry,” slie said, faintly. “Oh, say not so," I cried, about, to sink on one knee ; but, looking down, I saw that it was muddy. “ Say not so, brightest and best of beings. Drive not to despair (seizing her hand) one who loves you so fondly. Give me but the faintest gleam of hope—say but that you will be mine, alter years of toil shall have enabled me to ask your band of your father, and I will go forth more joyfully than ever—over horse went to water. ” That wnsn’t very poetical; but I could think of nothing else. “ Speak, dearest, —only one word.” Miss Langworth had hidden her face behind her handkerchief; but gasped out: “Yes, dear Jim; ask pa right away. He won’t want you to go out and fight, and all that sort of thing,” “ Blessed innocent! lie could not wish it less than I did. ” But it was only after long persuasion that I consented to fore go my resolution to win name and fame, and ask her pa at once. The old gentleman was in the library, and just as I entered I met Fred coming out. I gave liim a nod and a wink, ami, walking up to Mr. Langworth, informed him that his daughter had just declared her willingness to be united with me in the bonds of holy matrimony, and re spectfully implored his blessing. “I am sorry, Mr. Jonquil,” said the old gentleman, looking at mo rather quizzically, “ but I have just promised her to your friend, Mr. Drummond.” “Imjiossible !” I exclaimed. “ I have this moment left her. and, if you will permit me, I will bring her, that you may hear my statement confirmed from her own lips.” And, running out, I found and conducted the fair lady to her father in an exceedingly short time. “I beg your pardon, Mr. Jonquil,” said tho old gentleman, as soon as he saw her. “ I was speaking of my daughter, Nellie, whom I have promised to your friend. But, as for this lady, marry her as soon as you please; my jurisdiction does not extend to my daughter’s seamstress.” It was too horrible. I rushed madly out of the house. The little plainly dressed woman, whom I had nearly knocked down and treated since with such persevering and sccomful neglect, was no other than Nellie Langworth—• who, overhearing our conversation on the boat, had chosen to revenge herself by substituting the long, lean, ugly, awkward creature with whom I had been playing the fool for her sweet little self. I left for town in the next train, where I shortly after received an invitation to her wedding with Fred. I leave it to the reader to guess if I went. Insanily as a Good. A German physician has started a pleasing theory with regard to insanity. It is, he thinks, a mistake to look upon it as an unmitigated evil. It is in many cases a boon rather than the re verse to the person immediately affected. The loss of reason lands the sufferer from a sea of trouble into one of comparative calm—often into one of decided happi ness; and attempts to restore such a per son to sanity would he cruel rather than kind. Moreover, ho insists that without a certain amount of insanity, success in life, in tho ordinary acceptation of the term, is quite impossible. All “emi nent men,” he contends, aro decidedly more or less mad. Many of them are dangerous monomaniacs, whom it would be desirable on public grounds to shut up, but who, nevertheless, achieve grand careers and are credited with doing a vast amount-of good. This false notion he attributes to the fact that the greater mass of mankind are also insane and quite unable to distinguish between good aud evil. Whole nations arc, he says, occasionally seized, like individual per sons, with attacks of madness, and, ]<gl by eminent madmen, either destroy themselves or their neighbors. These paroxosms are, he admits, undoubtedly dangerous, butwhen madness is blended witli just sufficient self-control to keep it within bounds and prevent it from be traying itself, it displays itself in nerv ous energy, and enables the lunatic ex ercise immense influence over liis fellow creatures. A Celestial Revelation. Mr. Goober—as the story goes—lived in the Mormon country. He had but one wife, and never thought of taking any more till one day nn elder told him it was his religious duty to seal unto himself a few others. Mr. Goober went home and sadly informed bis wife of what the elder had said, and Mrs. Goober said she had no objection, provided the elder would come round and argue the case with her piously. Goober told the elder, and tho elder dropped around. He smiled sweetly as Mrs. Goober advanced to meet him. Tho next thing he knew he was skipping around the room with his coat slit up the back and his hat knocked into pi, while Mrs. Goober wielded the broomstick. He finally jumped out of a window, and escaped with liis life, as adder and a wiser man. The next time he met Goober he told him he had had a celestial revelation by which Goober was relieved from the ne cessity of taking any more wives—Mrs. Goober would count for almost 1,000 in the New Jerusalem. “ DUM SPIRO, SPERO.” HAMILTON, UA-, OCTOBER 7. 1880. The Village Hotel Veruuda. After supper we march iuto th e office in Indian file, arm Ourselves with poplar toothpicks, and then all march out and take seats on tho hotel veranda and hold a convention. If you have nover taken part in one of these gatherings on the veranda of a village hotel you have missed a' good thing. The audience includes every phase of human nature. The discussion usually opens between tho village blacksmith and a farmer, and it starts on the weather. The blacksmith asserts that, we have had too much rain. The farmer can’t agree. Tho undertaker, who used to farm it, then joins in with tho remark that he Ims seen seasons when we hud more rain, and seasons alien we didn’t lmvo ns much. This calls out tho shoe maker, who can remember one year when it didn’t rain from tho 2-it.li of’ March to the Ist of October. While he is trying to remember what year it was, the cooper tilts bock his chair and asserts that he can distinctly recall a year in which it rained every day from the Ist of May to the middle of November. 11c can re member it all the more distinctly because liis father believed that a second deluge was coming, and spent two months try ing to make a watertight Noah’s ark of tho horse burn. Ho cault toll tho exact year without footing it a distance of six miles to examine some old documents* but rather than have his word disputed lie would willingly go to that trouble. No one doubts him, however, and he sits down to give room to tho man wliobo tlrrec-year-old colt has been impaled on a fence-stake, and who wants a cure for tho wound. He follows a discussion on horses, lasting fifteen minutes, and it is about to cross the line and take up mules whten an old man spits over the heads of three boys in line and says: “I don’t know much about bosses, but if I had one, and he should drive a fence stake clear through him, 1 believe I should grease the stake and piel* off the slivers before I pulled it out! I tell yo horses can’t stand everything, no moro’n a man can.” Whatever new discussion might bo created by this bold assertion is barred by tlie appearance of avillagevwho made the trip to California in overland days/ No one knows just how much money ho brought back. The estimate runs all the way from two shillings to #20,000, but ho is discreetly silent as to tho exact amount. There is one tiling certain, however. He killed upward ot fifty In dians, a dozzen grizzly boars, aud over a hundred buffalos while he was gone, and that settles the question of his lieing en titled to command the parade on the Fourth of July. A move is about to be made to draw him out on wild Western scenes, when somebody suddenly recol lects that old Undo Jerry is lying at tho point, of death. Everybody seems to feel bad for a moment, and then it is remem bered how hemadehis wife go barefooted in winter, lent money at fourteen per cent., and whipped a yoke of steers to death, and the tide slowly turns. There is one question, however, on which all are agreed. Uncle Jerry, during his palmy days, once shouldered a barrel ot cider and carried it forty rods. “ Yes, and I seed him do it,” siglis tlio old man behind me. “Fact of it was, it was all on my account, and 1 boat him pretty bad. I was up to Fuller’s cider mill arter a barrel of the sweet,‘when Uncle Jerry came along with a bouncing three-year-old steer. We got to banter ing, arid wo finally agreed that if [ could lift his steer I was to have him, and he was to have the cider if lie could shoulder it. I don’t keer to brag around now in my old ago, but I think I lifted that steer without even growin’ red iu the face. Un cle Jerry turned as white asasheet, and I thought he’d faint away, but he stuck to his word and 1 took the steer hum. He got a heap o’ credit all over the county for liftin’ that cider, amlnoverlot on that I lifted the steer, and that's one thing I’ve kinder laid up agin the old man.” Then the next man lies about the num ber of crows he saw in Kansas, and so we go until it is sharp 10 o’clock and the mosquitoes begin to hunger for evening lunch. Then they bid each other good night and separate to meet and lie again. — M. Quad. A Befense of Cleopatra. Allow me to inquire here, parenthetic ally, how it happens that the queen of Egypt has come to be regarded as ari ex ample of extreme inconstancy. She has been grossly misrepresented. History tells us that she was married to her brother, Ptolemy XII, by the will of hei father after his death. Tlie union was merely an arrangement of state; had no binding force, and was not probably, ever consummated, as the couple were minors. Pompey was apjiointed tlieir guardian, aud it has been intimated that he was her lover. There was no authority whatever for this, indeed everything points to the contrary. He was not merely chaste, he was alrnostpassionless, as Cicero has testified. When Ctesar had invaded the country, and Pompey had 1 leen miirilered, he was fascinated by her, and she became his mistress, more fiom love than interest. Then, in order to give weigiit to her sovereignty, she was given in marriage to her second brother, a child of seven years—her other brother, Ptolemy XII, having been drowned—and the foremost man of all the world lived witli her until be re turned to Rome, carrying with him the woman who was the most splendid part of his splendid conquest. When he went to his last campaign in Hispanin, she saw him for the last time. At Antony’s meeting with her, Caesar had been dead nine years; so that her re lation to him was no disloyalty to her former protector. They were the only men of whom she ever pretended to lie fond, and she was devoted to them in mind, heart and soul. The opinion that she accepted Augustus (Octavius) Ciiisar has no basis. Shakspqsire gives this im pression, hut merely as a poetic license. Cleopatra, therefore, instead of being an incarnation of ilisloyalty, was a model of oyalty, especially for that time. —Chicago "Times' Long Branch Jsitter. A vors-o man who was pleasantly en gaged in dealing out taffy to his girl over tile telephone wire, was much disgusted at hearing from the central office remark : " Please hurry up if you have anything to say ; there is a business man waiting for the wire." Street Acquaintances. You know a great many people you are not acquainted with. Your accustomed walks ou the street ! bring you face to face with men, women and children every day, who grow fa miliar to you, but you snow them not. Just about so far from the same corner every morning you meet the care-worn man, weighted with life’s burdens, his face wrinkled with the history of stmg ' gles. You always feel like taking oil your hat to him and offering a sympa thetic word. The spruce young clerk, with one hun dred and twenty steps to the minute, glances at you sharply and whizzos by ns if the world wouldn’t move till he got there. The distressed looking woman, with pale face, shabby-genteel dress aud a bit of resolution expressed liy her dosed niottfh, tiresomelv comes down tho walk. Her face has moved you to pity every morning for a year. What is this little breeze coming? With metallic heel-plate clicking, diet ing on the sidewalk like the ringing of n clog dancer's step, jaunty hat to one side of her hen*!, neat costume, mid a fouev, piquant air? Meet her everyday but don't dare to sis-ah to her. This littlo toddling girl with bangs, protected by an older brother, playing on the sidewalk with hoop and dolly. A gleam of childhood's sunshine that greets you cheerily. Those two jolly fellows coming, tell ing stories ami laughing all tho way to their work. Light hearted, because they were born so. Youfeol like turning about and having a laugh with them, but they are only street, acquaintances. The “grubbing” sort of men whom you moot every day carrying a pipe be tween their teeth, round-shouldered, and having a hangdog sort of a gait perfectly indifferent to everything. It makes man feel blue to see them. The grtiy-haired and inudh-bowed vet eran, whose life is near adjournment. You meet liim on Saturday mornings only, leaning on liis staff, his white locks streaming in the breeze; a picture which we all look upon with reverence. These are but. few types of tho people we meet every day iu the street and know, but are not acquainted with, Unit are as much a part of our every day life as are our duties that add so much to our pleasure and opportunity for study, and more than books or nowspajiers.—Mod ern Arf/o. No Place for Chlunmen. On the rood leading from Fuirplay to Alma and Lendville is a board sign nailed to a tree and bearing this device: “Chi namen arc warned not to locate in this district. ” Despite this warning, two foolhardy sons of Shew mounted the stage at Fair play lust wbek, their celestial pigtails wound tightly about their heads, und that portion of their garment* which civilized people wear in their jiants flut tering in the breeze, cn route for Alma. Tlie smile that broadened their dark hued fueos was one of happy thought. The field for “washee-woehee ’ was large, and they were tho first, in tlie race. Their unintelligible jahlile from the top of the coach arrested the attention of a passing horseman, who significantly inquired of tho driver, “have they got return tick ets?” The latter smiled and whipped up liis horses, as ho thought of the tun awaiting him at his distillation. The celestials were spotted the mo ment they entered town, and when the coach stopped it was immediately sur rounded by a crowd. The white passen gers dismounted, hut lingered on the skirts of tho crowd awaiting develop ments. The Chinamen started to de scend from their lofty perch on tlie top of the coach, hut the end* of sharp sticks and several rifles stretched tip to receive them caused them to hastily clamber up again. Amid tho cries and hoots of the crowd to take them out and hang them, a man stepped forward and firmly informed the celestials, now al most pale with fear, that tlieir place was on top of that coach till it went bock, when they were to go too. And stay they did, for the remarks were of such a tenor us to admit of no dispute. Anil when the stage wended it* way back to Fuirplay that night two sad-faced Chinamen occupied tlio same exalted scats as did the merry ones in tho morning. — Leudville Chronicle,, Origin of a Long Word. To one who looks with enough cure to words as ho pauses them to and fro to recognize the “fossil history” which they have been cleverly pronounced to lie, tho word “manufacture,” with it* other forms, is interesting as a mark of important changes. It was framed when tilings were literally manufactured, i. e., hand made, and was then a correct description of the articles to which it was applied. But the development of machinery so far that there is probably not an article of use into whose production some processes by machinery do not enter, has made the word a gross solecism, because its etymological meaning and its application flutly contradict each other. When we speak of tlie manufacture of common pins or nails, we reallv speak of “hand made machine-made”' pins. There are no more “manufactured” articles in this country; the homespun in 1770 was such, and so was tho horse-nail which the blacksmith so lahorously hammered out, hut the fabrics and nails of 1870 are hardly touched with the hand until fin ished. Tlie word has lost its significance witli its correctness, and retains only its ciimbrousness. It should Is; amended and corrected by dropping tlie first half, leaving “factum” hi denote things made or the making of things; “factor” could then stand for the doer or maker, being relieved from its present use as denoting a commercial agent, in which latter use it is not necessary, there being good sub stitutes. . A snnr.wD Western circus and menag erie manager distributes in advance il lustrated primers for children, in which all the pictures and descriptions relate to feats anil beasts to Is: seen in liis show ; but the show itself is not mentioned, and it is only when the posters are put up and the familiar objects emblazoned outhe walls that the value of the adver tisement becomes apparent in the eager ness of tlie young one* to r.vM the show. i. L. DENNIS, Editor. #I.OO a Year. Two Great Men. Mr. Tliompson, Secretary of the Navy, passed through Ju re on his way to Han Francisco, on Wednesday evening, with his party. In company with Delegate Downey, Judge Blair, and United States Marshal Hehuitzer, 1 went iuto the sjswial ear, aud talked with him while tho train stopped here. The other members of the party did most, of the talking, and I eloquently sat ou the buck of the chair and whistled a few burs from a little operetta that I mu having cast at tho rolling mill. lam not very hilarious in the presence of great men. I am not. so much at home iu their society as 1 am iu my owu quiet littlo boudoir, with one leg over the piano and the other tangled up among the $2,800 lace curtains and Majolica dogs. By aud by T thought that I had better show the Secretary that I knew nioro thfUi the Casual observer would siijijaise, and I said, “ Mr. Thompson, how’s your navy looking this summer? Huvo you sheared your iron-clad rams yet, and if so, what w ill tho clip average, do you think ?” Ho laughed a merry, rippling laugh, and said if ho was at home he would swear that he whs iu the nrescuco of the mental giant, William G. MeJJuo. I was very much pleased with the Sec retary. This will insure tlio brilliant suc cess of his Western trip. I could sec that he was accustomed to the vory liest of society, for he stood there in the blinding glare of my daz zling beauty os self-iHiHsuHsod aud cool as though ho were at home, talking with Ben Butler and Oonkling and Carpenter and other rising young men. There is a striking resemblance bo tween the Secretary and myself. We are both tall and slender, with roguish eyes and white hair. His, however, is white from age, ami is a kind of bluish white. Mine is white because it never hud moral courage or strength of charac ter enough to be any other color. It also lias more of a lemon-colored tinge to it. than the Secretary's has. We resemble each other in several more respects. One is that we aro both United Status officials. He is u member of tbeCabiuetand lam a United States Commissioner. We are 1 Kith great men, but I have succeeded better in keeping it a profound secret than he hue. —Blit Nye, in the Denver Tribune, A Luckless Tramp. Home time ago a tramp got into the fire box of ft stationary engine that was being shipped on a flat ear to the Pacific const. By some freak of misfortune to him a careful lirnkcuian closed tlio furnace-door on him, and the solitary jiicnicker was alone witli his conscience and a few friends that had come along witli him to represent the National Bug Bureau. At first he thought it was a joke, and ho iuuglied a smothered, hysterical laugh, hut as tho hours drngged on and lie didn't know whether it was day or night, or whether it was tlie Fourth of July or eternity, lie concluded to attract the attention of the outside world, so he pounded on the inside of his ongo till his arms nchod. He might ns well have tried to get out of a fire and burglar proof safe witli a corkscrew. One day, tliiuiigh curiosity, a railrood boy opened tlie door of tlio engine fur nace and hsiked in. Tho broad sole of an old boot was turned up at the door, anil tho brakemon took hold of it and snatched it out. It was followed by an attenuated piece of humanity, that rat tled around on tho car like an old um brella. The bystanders reviewed him and asked him if ho didn’t feel hungry. He said he did feel a kind of goneness in the gastric regions. An old man, who was then aiding treas urer of tlio Irish Relief Fund, took the job of filling him up. That is the reason why Ireland missed the beneficial effects of the relief fund for several months, at a lime when sho needed it worst.—Den ver Tribune, The Tragedian’s Daughter. On Howard street, the other day, “Where are you going, my pretty maid ?” asked a benevolent old gentle man, as ho chucked under the chin a lit tle tot of a six-year-old, who was walking gravely along witli u bucket on her arm. “Give thee good-day, grayhenrd,” re plied the midget, simply. “Mv father bode me. to the shambles hie for a fat haunch.” “W-w-wlmt?” ejaculatedtlioold party. “Haply thou knowest him, the good man Hk id more?” inquired the tiny dame. “N-o-o," said the gentleman, much puzzled at tlie evident earnestness of tho child. “You’re a quaint littlo thing. Come with me and T will buy you some candy.” "Alack 1 I am forbid to terry, gentle sir. J need lie blithe. Their patieuoe stays iijimi my coming.” “ Good-bye," said the old gentleman. “Rest you, merry master," and dip ping a chubby little, courtesy, the mite trotted off. “ Bless my soul 1 wliat an extraordi nary child!” said the gentleman to a neighbor, who had been looking on. "Oli! that’s nothing,” replied the other. “ You see she’s tho daughter of Bilsou, the heavy man at tho theater, and I suppose they talk so much of that kind of lingo in tlio family that it come* natural to her. Doesn’t hear anything else, you see.”— San Francisco Post. An Oil City man went fishing Satur day, and In- came home witli nothing hut a little half-pound bass. “Is that all you caught? ' asked Ids friends. “ That's all,” replied tlie man. “How muny bites did you have?” “None,” exclaimed the fisherman, and tlio whole crowd cried, “He’s found! lie’s found! Here is the honest fisherman. ” He’d have had fifty invitations to drink in ten min utes if a small hoy hadn’t broken through the crowd, and said: “Hoe here mister, yer gave me a bogus nickel for that air fish. And now that crowd ha* no faith in human nature. Last Monday, a gentleman went into a drug store and asked to buy a piece of soap. “Can’t sell anything but med icines ou Sunday.” “But, man alive, don’t you know that cleanliness is next to godiine**?” “Well, I can’t help it, if it is.” “ You don't half try,” reiqxmded tlie searcher for soap, as lie went out without it. A MESMERIC SEANCE. And HawUAflldMla'rrlMa Barkoofso, [San Fianetooo I’oot. J The other morning, while the swell barkeeper at Baldwin's was putting on extra imlisli on some pony glasses, a cou ple of strangers entered, and, us they ordered drinks, one of them, a king haired, caduveroue person in a faded ul ster, said: “Oh, it’s very easily done, I assure you.” “Easy I” exclaimed his companion, with much animation; "why, it's the most remarkable—the most ustouishing thing I ever saw. Wliat did yon say you called it?” " Mesmerism,” said the long haired man, holding his glass up to the light. “ The principle was discovered by a Ger man scientist named Mesmer, although it ih, unquestionably, identical with the animal magnetism known to the early Greeks. Tacitus says—" “ But you don't mean to say,” inter rupted the other, who was making a for midable demonstration ou the free lunoh, “you don’t mean to say, Professor, that the person subjected to tho influence lmsii t the faintest idea of what's going on ?” ••• Exactly,” said tlio Professor. “ The person uuiier the influence of mesmerism has no more solf-eonsciousness than a cane-bottomed eluvir. For illustration, do you see that man at the corner over t here ? He is evidently waiting for a car j,ig hurry to go somewhere —aud yet T could Bring him into this saloon iu a per fectly unconscious state iu less than two minutes.” "Bet you five dollars yon can t do it, said tlie 'other man, producing a some what dubious looking V. “ Ya-a-s," added the barkeeper, arrange ingliis diamond pin in tlie glass, "and IU go him twenty better lie oau't do it." “Well— or— hem—gentlemen I don’t want to rob you- and—ahem—l’m not sure T have that much with me,” faltered the professor. “Oh! you haven't eh?” said the oook tail mixer, winking at tho bystanders, who were, also, fumbUng out thoir ooin. “ Well, wo’ll trust you. Just fire away, and if you win, you can take the pot.” “ WeU, gentlemen, I suppose 131 have to try anyway,” anil amid a variety of significant winks from the gathering crowd of bystanders, lie. walked to the window and began making a series of mysterious passes in tho air, with his eye* fixed on the party at tlie corner. “ Did you ever see such a blamed idiot?” said the barkeeper. ‘' Looks like a Santa Clara windmUl, doesn’t—hello 1 by Jove, the feller’s coming 1” The man on the corner lmd slowly faced the window, passed his hand across Ills eyes in • liewUdered manner and then began walking in an uncertain way nor os* the street. “It wiU have more effeot on him when he geta closer," said the pro fessor. The man entered the saloon and stood still, loi iking straight ahead with a vacant expression. “ I'|l make him ask you for a drink,” whispered tlie disciple of Mesmer. “Just stand back, gentlemen,” anil sure enough, the subject walked mechanically up to the counter, and asked in a hoUow voice for a little old rye. “ Give it to him—humor him in every thing,” whispered the professor, aud tlie victim solemnly swallowed the drink and then stood motionless as before. " Now I'll make him think he’s an ac tor," said tho illustrator of will power, and immediately the other began to strut about and recite Hliakcsjieare iu a tragio voioo. “ Make him bark like a (log,” sug gested the man who had bet the live dol farH. Whereupon the man began to imi tate a terrier, and tried to bite a specta tor, to the immense amusement of every body. After that he was caused to do several tliiugs, such as crowing like a rooster, catching a fly and pocketing the “pool” money which lay on the counter. " Make him think he keeps the bar,” put in the Professor’s friend, and the subject walked promptly around behind the counter, turned up his alcevos and compounded a cocktail, put the money in the drawer and counted out the change with great deliberation. “Now,” said the Professor “we will make him put the contents of the drawer into ljis own pocket, thou restore him to consciousness and accuse him of having stolen the money.” Everylrody said that would be a first rate joke, and then the five dollar man thought it would be better to let him walk outside and arrest him in the street —his astonishment would be all the greater, he said. The man solemnly cleaned out’the till, walked from behind the bar and out of tho door. As soon as he struck the pavement, however, ho darted down Powell street at a three minute clip. “ Dear mo,” shouted the professor. “I must have been thinking about running, somehow. Come on, Mr. Hmoothy, and help me catch him,” and the sold sub duer and his friend dashed off in pursuit. They arc still waiting at the Baldwin for tho return of the trio, who must have divy’d about 855 apiece, and the detec tives think they ore liable to wait for a long time. The barkeeper says lie wishes ho may be blunk blanked to ever lasting b'ankation, while Manager Tom Maguire, who is out JfH on the mesmeric proposition, says he's half a mind to have the whole tiling dramatized for tho full season A Lost Occupation. The Hon. John Wentworth compre hends the present condition of politic*. Ho says that the newspaper Inis iniido the orator a thing of the past, and de stroyed the usefulness of mass meeting* and other clap-trap accessories or cam paigns. And why? Himply because they present the arguments of parties if they are party journals, or tho facts if the newspapers are independent, and tlie reader is enabled to decide for him self, uninfluenced by appeals to liis pas sions and uncontrolled by tlie personal mngtietlsm of orators. The voter, hav ing become n reader, is also a thinker. Asa thinker he rises superior to dema gogues and their tools. In a communication to the British Royal Bociety of Literature, Mr. J. IV. Rcilliouse combats the generally accepted theory that the Aryan races of mankind originated in the l’amir highlands of Central Asia, spreadingin a northwesterly direction into Europe, and southwesterly into India. He believes that the polar regions, wliieli at one time possessed a tropical temperature, formed the original home of man. Said Funny Fogg, at a private bath ing establishment: “I have always heard that yon couldn’t make a silk purse out of a sow's car, hut these people contrive to till their purse out of a souse ’ere. ” Nobody laughed. The remark was toe painful. “ Why, "asked a governess of her lit tle charge, “ do we pray God to give us our daily bread ? Why don’t we ask lor four days, or five days, or a week ?” “ Because we want it fresh,” replied the ingenious child.