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VOLUME XI. NUMBER 30.
A'A UA’fl TKA r/.VA; AA’D THE PLACE
Never the time and the place
And the loved one all together!
This path—how soft to pace!
This May—what magic weather!
Where is the loved one’s face ?
In a dream, that loved one’s face meets mine,
But the house is narrow the place is bleak
Where, outside, rain and wind combine,
With a furtive ear, if I strive to Speak,
With a hostile eye at my flushing cheek,
With a malice that masks each word, each sign!
O, enemy sly and serpentine,
Uncoil thee from Ihe waking man!
Do I behold the past
Thus firm and fast,
Yet doubt if the future hold I can?
This path, so soft to pace, shall lead
Thro’ the magic of May to herself indeed !
Or narrow if needs the house must be,
Outside are the storm and strangers; we—
Oh. close, safe, warm, sleep I and she,
—I and she. Bbownino.
DID HE LOVE HER?
Georgette was born with a silver Bpoou
in her mouth; indeed, if I mistake not,
it was a gold spoon, richly encrusted
with jewels and bearing iu its bowl a
monstrous lump of good fortune.
In the first place, she was one of the
loveliest girls I oversaw, both in soul and
body. Her beauty was of a dark, mag¬
nificent type, which suggested to me the
diminutive name of “Jet,” by which 1 I
always called her. I
She was barely twenty, and heiress -it j |
fairly takes my breath away to write it
—heiress to £00,000, left her by her
uncle, a German of high rank, but sin¬
gularly destitute of kindred.
Georgette’s mother had been an Ameri¬
can girl who had met young Rudolph
Schubert during a summer tour in the
Rhineland.
They had married against the wishes
ot Rudolph’s family, who were greatly
shocked at what they regarded as a mc
snlliance. It was only after the lapse of
years, when death seemed striving to ex¬
terminate the Schuberts, that the old
Jlerr Uncle, as he was called, opened his
Heart to the orphan child of his dead
brother.
Georgette had been bom in the United
States, and she was an American to the
heart’s core. I remember liaviug thought
—that afternoon when we sat out on the
lawn together under the pink awning—
that there wasn’t thc slightest trace of
li.r father’s nationality about her.
She was sitting in a camp-chair with a ;
bit of delicate embroidery in her hands.
There was a table near by on which
“ high tea ” was to be served when Ralph
Hearing and his mother arrived. Jet
had invited them; but I should have
known they were coming if she had not
told md, for when did her eyes ever
shine so brightly, or when were her
cheeks so rich a crimson, as when this
penniless barrister was near at hand ?
Yes, Georgette was in love with him ;
1 saw it very plainly, aud it made me
uneasy. If I had only been sure of
Ralph Dearing it wouldn’t have bothered
me an instant. But though it seemed
most unlikely that he should not love
her, I was haunted by a mortal fear that
her money had sometliiug to do with his
devotion.
Loving Jet, as only a solitary old maid
knows how to love, it was torture to me
to think of my darling as the victim to
the grovelling passion of a mercenary
man. I had never hinted to her the
drift of my thoughts, but I had made up
my mind to do so, and I tried it that
afternoon. Jet opened the way for me,
] ist as though she had known what I
meant to say.
“ Emily,” she said, “ what would you
say if I were to get married ? ”
“ God bless you,” I an nvered prompt¬
ly. “That is, of course, provided the
match was al! that it should be.”
“What—what do you—think of Ralph
Dealing ?”
She was bending low over her work,
but I saw that she was blushing.
“ Are you going to marry him, Jet?”
I asked quickly.
“No—o—that is—I don’t know. To
[“1! the truth, lie hasn’t asked me. But
1 thinks lie means to.”
“Of rtMirso.”
“If he were to, what would you do
about it ?”
“I looked up in suprise, for I knew
that she loved him with her whole
generous soul.
“I think I would try to find out his
motive “He’loves ” I said biuntlv
me—at least he has told
me so” she answered softly. “And—
and I think I can trust him !”
“He told vou he loved you, and vet
went no further!” I cried. “That was
unmanlv, Jet; I hope yon did not listen
to him.” 1
She blushed still more deeply. dared,” she j
“He would ask me if he
said defending him not only by words
but by expression. “But he^-he thinks |
-I know he feels there is a difference |
in our positions.” laconically, for
“Decidedly,” I said
,at she had told me gave me a very
“He is very proud and sensitive, j
she added, and wonld have said more ,
but I took her band and spoke to her
with great gravity.
“Jet,” I ril Mtotr. “S»
that I have no other wish than to see
vouhappy. Forgive me, then, if what I
say wounds you, but I cannot helpfeel
teg that Ralph Dealing may nave
thought quite as much of your fortune
of voursAf.” i
s said, with little
• Do vou know,” she a
Hamit /roN Jo URN AI ^ S t?
catch in her breath, “that has troubled
me, too. It would kill rue if I were to
tind it out,”
“No,” I answered ; “not unless yon
found it out too late to avert the conse¬
quences.” him
“But I could not give up,” she
cried. “1 wish I were poor, then I
would know whether he loved me for
myself.”
The tears started in her eyes, and her
red lips quivered.
“Hush I” I said warningly. “They
are coming—Mr. Hearing and his moth¬
er, Jet.”
She regained her composure in an in¬
stant, When she gave her hand to Ralph
her face was wreathed in smiles.
He looked so handsome that afternoon
that I would have given anything to
have been able to trust him,
Within the sound of his musical
voice some of my doubts did vanish and,
knowing that he had to go away on the
morrow, I had the grace to beguile his
mother indoors, while he and Jet went
down to the lake after water-lilies—
at least that is what they said they were
going for.
“I can hardly realize that I am going
away to-morrow,” he said, with an
audible tremor iu his voice. “I wish
there was no occasion for me to do so.
I suppose it’s an old story to you, Miss
Georgette, to hear a man say that he
would like to spend his life in your
society ?”
“1 have heard it before,” she said
slowly; “hut 1 have not believed it
always.”
His face Hushed for ail instant, and
he made a sudden gesture, hut he hit
his lip a moment after and turned his
head away.
“You know that I love you,” he said,
in a low tone. “When I go awav to¬
morrow, I will leave all my happiness
behind me.”
“One never knows when to believe you
men,” Georgette said with affected care
lessness.
“I suppose it, doesn’t make much dif
ference whether you believe us or not,”
he answered in a piqued tone.
“Excuse me,” she said quickly, “but
it makes all the difference in the world to
mo—more difference, infinitely more
than it ever could make to another wo
man.”
“How?”
She pouseu ^ a moment.
“My position is so peculiar,” she said
presently. “If I accepted in good faith
any protestations that might he m «de to
se, I would be called upon to subject
them to a trying ordoal-a test of sin
centy,perhaps stronger than Ll,ey eould
,ear '
“lou may ----
“As for you, Mr. Dealing, she inter
rupted hastily, “ I know of old your gal
laut speeches, so I do not take them for
more than they are meant. But la,icy
my position if some day I were to take
a man at Ins word and en angle him m a
matrimonial engagement J ^rhaps yon
did not know, Mr. Dearnig, that my un
cle only bequeathed h.s fmtuno to me
conditionally ? If I marry an Americ m
,t is to revert to a distant conn .. My
.mere was bent upon me having a Ger
man husband, and ,f I .named a for
eiguex I was to forfeit my ,nl,ent.noe
Ralph Deanng had paled suddenly
and he at thc br “ llcl ‘ 01 a tuU
shrub as though he sought its support.
“What a very absurd proposition?” he
exclaimed. “It is no wonder, Miss
Schubert, that yon have resisted the
pleading of so many suitors. A fortune
like yours is not to be thrown away for a
passing fancy. I was not aware that
you held it conditionally. If I were
only a German nobleman, now! But,
alas! I am only a poor barrister and 8
free-born American.” •
He laughed ; but there was something
in his voice that made Georgette’s heart
M. vibrate «i,h
He did not know, and she 1.?. ilould nol
have had him know, that money
wonld have been ns nothing in the bal
ance against his love bad she only been
-lire of it
“Shall we go out on the lake?” he
asked, changing the subject so quickly
that her heart gave a despairing quiver,
It was only her money, then, after all,
that he had courted so assiduously.
“No,” she answered, shivering slight
ly. “I think it is too damp this even
lug. Besides, the lilies are closing. 1
will get some in the morning.”
When they came into the house I saw
‘ y hpr t - a ,. p ttia t Romcthimr " had h ‘ ,r>
-.
'’““^t night, after Ralph and hfe moth
jr had froue fiLe c . ime illto my room
nd "i* said simplv •
There is no room for dpulit I have
w • hed )lim in the i,. danoe aud found
idm”wanting “xhree ”
davs later she received a letter
.... t . - -
aoin dp m
4 c *
“ff i^ a '‘. ’ vo] , - th mv h . art ;
0eo imt ! am neRher foolish n 0
, vben j know what you would sacrifice ;
liy so doing.
“Atfirst I was afraid to ask you be- .
cause I feared you might misconstme :
-» w I'- *» .»»
me to shrink from the imputation that
might have fallen upon me
“Then when I learned thatby marry
mg me you wolud lose the fortune you
were born to enjoy, I saw how wrong it
would be for me to expect or ask it,
though »h«r yon would for one moment
HAMILTON, GEORGIA, JULY 27. 1883.
listen to mv suit is nothing more than
presumption on my part.”
She gave me this with a sarcastic
smile.
“What does lie niean aiioitfc yoitv
losing your fortune?” I tisked when 1
had read it.
“ I told him that my uuelo’s will was
made in my favor conditionally, and that
if I failed to marry a German I would
forfeit my fortune.”
“ You never told me that! ” I cried.
“No? I never cared to speak of it.
I cannot bear to have questions of in¬
terest and matrimony bo closely con¬
nected.”
“But," I ventured to observe, “in
that ease it would have been folly for
you to marry Ralph Dealing. He has
his mother to support, and he hasn’t a
penny in the world.”
“Do you think I would have cared
for that!’’she said, with a passionate
burst of tears, “If he had loved me I
would have gone with him to the ends
of the earth and lived upon bread and
water. ”
1 laid my hand gently an her glossy
hair.
“ Dear little Jet! ” I murmured, and
[ felt that I could have killed Ralph
Dcaring.
Three months passed and here came
a change 01, sm a C ' ,U A' ’ *!'
Georgette. She had _ been ill, . and though
the doctor said she had pratically u
covered, she did not seem to gain a par
tide of strength 10m (ay o < ay.
was with terrible agony that I saw at
last that if there were not a speedy im -
provement her days on earth were mini
bered.
One morning when we were out driv
ing under the doctors orders she re
quested to he taken to the ofiioe of Mr,
Fanshaw.
“lam going to make my will Emily,
s ^ ie sa ^ calmly, ana I could not answei
called at the lawyer , office .
When we s
we ' yt 're shown into the little room where
11 gentleman was seated writing. It was
too late to retreat when I saw that it was
Ralph Dealing.
He greeted us affably, but I saw a look
>f horror on his face as he noted Jets
altered appearance.
“ Mr. Fanshaw is in his private _ office,
Miss Schubert,” ho said, opening the
door for her; “ walk in.
a j; w i]| call you presently,” she said,
aud thon p. {t me a lone with Ralph Deai
’
.
Ac the door closed after her he turned
qnick l y and strode to wal’d me, grasping
me fiercely by the arm.
“What is the matter with her? In.
asked in » hoarse voice.
j sho ok off his baud rudely and
a]lswe red with great bitterness :
„ A brokell heart, Mr. Dealing.”
j could Bot refrain from saying it,
tUough j knew Jet would be angry.
„ what do you mean?”
He sceme d to be choking with his own
..Ought you to ask such a question ?
1 8aid pointedly. cned
.. F or God’s sake !” ho passion
nte]y “have done with this. Yon know
,
_ you Baw that I loved her-worshiped
the ground she trod on. I would give
my life for her this instant. What is the
matter, Miss Emily?”
“Do you mean what you say, Ralph
Bearing ?”
“As heaven is above us I do „
“Then, I said joyously, it is all a
hideous misunderstanding. Georgette
loves you. It is that that is killing
her ”
1 ^ iransfimired with
r,l r , V ' ’ that inrtant A
Are you teUuig me the truthhe truth t he
J an8wered . » bnt
* wa ? before she I ° !’ 4 b ^ \
•» «»?« *»•
for your coming (O n g 1.
obeyeff me. and it was not unW
’ ve ™ n ? that Jet 8 ’
httte Bittiug-room. i When she she cam c ,me hi ,
looking so frail, yet so lovely, It -i
could not utter a word. e s:imp J
opened his arms, and the next ins a
her head was on 11s reas •
onwg le w nspere (
K , •
the truth. our ortune was no lln K
me; but howconld lask you to gwo
^
up ort ie sa e o s anng mj pov r
Yo1 Poverty noturng to me, „
“ " was
® he Ra:t1 ’ m a volce tUat t JUc W1
happiness; ( “but you never gave me .
cbaQOe of sa y ln S 80 ’
“And will you—can you—oh, Georg
^ farting ! it will be a terrible
3 “' nfiCC !
“ You 60slle med re P roa<!h ,
Ba Y ‘ j
£u %> “Y et J 0 ® profe® 8 to love me! 1
Tell me, Ralph, if it were ten times as
much, would not you give it up gladly
if you were in my position ?”
“Dearest,” he said, kissing her with
tender reverence, “I would give up the
'
world for vou !”
“Besides,” she added, with an cn .
Ralph. Can you forgive me for it? 7
^ trying to weigh your love in the
balance with my money, and how sadly
I miscalculated the result! But—it fe
>“« °> ff-m «-> < <""«< *
marrying yon. I think we can sUU
manage to l.ve on half. Don’t yon
th.nn w -an Ralpte
Heiooked at her m a kind of detenm.
Wnat-what - he stammered.
“ Don t you understand?” she saui
p itting both her arms around tns neck,
1 “ When I marry you Hose half my for
| tune, left but there I would is still a have goodly portion
to me. not any of it,
though, Ralph, if I had to live without
yoti.”
Real tears started to Ins eyes and lie
gathered her close to his heart.
When I came in after awhile Jet was
seated on the sofa and he was seated
dose beside her.
Her cheeks were crimson and her eyes
shone like stars,
“I don’t know what the doctor wili
say to tills,”I said, shaking my head du¬
biously.
“ We won’t need any doetor now, Miss
N; n \ K:u, ',r lUe lth contvaot a l°y° HS °fl lan « hls 1 ’
l
He „ fulfilled it, ., too, . three ,, months ..
later when Jet was married her health
was bettor than it had ever been before,
Ihe inscription m her weddmg-nng
was m Hebrew, and somewhat different
horn the Judgment which Belshazzar
saw written on the wall.
It signihed in our language :
“Thou hast been weighed in the bal
and found tine. ’
What He Meant.
j n a suit before a Detroit Justice the
^ (] (ho defendaut dcsired to prove
that his financial standing was solid,
au(] when his witne88 had takcn the
st . md aud testified that the defendant
^ ^ r(qmtatioa of prompUy pay .
j hj 8 debts, tho opposing counsel
. ‘, lsko ^. ’
Mr Blftnk) consider Mr.
wbita p£ , rfectly good ,»
<,Y ( , 8 ’ s j r >>
„ Jf h 0 owed $50 you - d expect to
receive it wU en due r
s j r ..
“If he should ask you for the loan of
^ you>fl haud u vigU out r
“Y-yes, sir.”
“Very well—very well. Mr. White,
ask tbe w ; tnes8 f or a ] oau 0 f $25.”
<jj r Blank, loan me the sum named,”
said tbe defendant, as he reached out his
j la ud,
Mr. Blank grew red and pale by turns,
),jj; cbo d m - n und like, a boy on a carpet
t ackj aod finally replied:
“What I meant to say was that I’d
^ $25 on a first mortgage on
atw nt $2,000 v -rtfwcf real astute 7 Make
out your papers !’’—Detroit Free Press.
- —
The Nature oT DIptheria.
Dr H ^ C WoodTirohMisor v’ L of expen¬
‘ the University of
P1 ani a,amemherofthecommis
sion appointed by the United States
Government to make researches into the
nature of diptheria, after h .ving spent
Beveral year8 iu the work, recently gave
tl)C resu]t8 of his inTC# tigation in a lec
tlTO in Pennsylvania. He said that dip
tlieria, croup 'and gangrene are identical
^ that dip theria is by uo means
limited to what we see in tho pharynx;
„ aljradcd surfece may he trans
formed with a genuine case of diptheria,
f]mt - t is a , oeal an(] not a coll8tit utionaI
disease; that any sore throat may become
d; th( , riHo wit h 0T1 t any contagion; that
diptlierilic poison illjec tcd into the blood
^ harm , m it fmt beiu g nec
^ to makc a wcund and k(!ep it j„ a
irl . itfttion More authentic poi
son introduced into it could produce the
desired oflv . ct . that {he disease abounds
i 1 low, swampy places; that diptheria
a ..d micrococci, minute vegetable fungi,
^ ^ ^ aflfi , ciate d_“no micro
(lip i hc . : ,”„ 8aid the doctor;
^ ^ dipthor itic poison cannot affect
» healthy person; there must be an
abraded surface, arxl no healthy child
can get it unless ifehas a sore throat al
that, in his opinion, micrococci
do not produce t^ initial lesion; that
anv sor^ throat ntw end in diptheria
^ the line cannot he drawn where sore ZS
ftua-Ily that diptheria is a spontaneous
^ n£)t infectiou8>
<H» !akin 6*
-
dn Indian Ilea oT White Politics.
-
In an uingtrated a-ticle on the Frau
ciscan Missioas 01 California, in the
June Century, one elect of white exam
pie upon the Indian s described thus:
“ In a curious pamphet left by one of
the old friars, I ather 3oscana, is told a
dro n 8tor y of the iogicil inferences some j
of them diew from the political situa
tions among their stpposed betters. It |
was a band of San BiegoIndians. When I
they heard that the Spanish viceroy in I
the cit y of Mexico had been killed and
a Mexlcan made en P €ror m Lu P lac ‘”
they forthwith male a great feast, j
burned up their chief, and elected anew |
one in his stead. To the stringent re
proofs of the horrible friars they made
answer: ‘Have you not done tbe same
in Mexico? You sty yeur king was
g°°d, you killed him. Wed,
our captian was not pood, and we burned !
him If the new one turns out bay], we
** y
.
.
* ’
----
A young city f Hof, dressed in a fault
Jess suit and a pair ol shoes that tapered
<; . I«»t i. 0- ~t ~
visiting in a rural district. Abnght
little boy looked hua
eyes rested on hose thota H
at his own chubby feet*^l then at his
visitors, and then .ooking up s.
“Mister, is all your oe* cut off but
,u* ? ’—Louisville Je-umaL
THE MILK MERCHANT.
Ati Eastern Untile with n Lite lUonkey in It.
A young Moslem Arab from the Gulf
of Persia, came to Bombay to make life
foi-hine. He engaged in the ancient
trade of selling milk. Now, London ot
Melbourne, Bombay or NeW York, ns far
as the sale of milk is concerned, is the
same place. Our Moslem friend, af
ter saying his morning prayers and
bowing devontedly to the East, relig
ionsly watered his milk, putting in as
much water as there was milk. By dint
of perseverance, frugal living, devout
praying, and watering the milk, ho accu
nmlated fifty Turkish, or say English,
pounds. Ho then resolved to return to
uatrm Arabia PolH, bay goata and
sheep and live happily. Changing his
money into gold, ho secreted his little
bag of treasure about him, and went on
board ono of the many native Arab crafts
that ply between Bombay and the Gull
of Persia. Tho happy young Arab oc
easionally went to a lonely place on the
craft, told and retold his treasure, play
fully tossed his savings up in the air,
caught them again, and felt himself in
an enithly Pamdfeo,
Now, there happened to bo a playful
Imt mischievous monkey on board, the
pet of the Arab captain and his crew,
This little imp had often observed the
young Arab s occupation, and felt an
irresistible desire to have a little play
with the coin. Watching his opportun
ity, the monkey snatched tho little hag
of gold from tho unlucky Arab, and ran
with it, where no one could easily get at
him, to the top gallant mast head. The
frantic cries of tho Arab brought the
whole crew to his aid. But alas! the
monkey kept tossing the coin in the air,
and, not able to catch it, it either fell
overboard or on deck. At Inst the
monkey got tired of tossing the coin,
and dropped the hag with Imt a few
sovereigns in it. After a diligent search
the unfortunate Arab found that all his
earthly wealth had dwindled down to
just half its original amount, The
other half had been tossed overboard
by the monkey. With streaming eyes
and a heart bowed down in sorrow, the
Arab turned his head to the East and
said: “Ol. ! Allah, all thy ways are just. !
An hour ago my whole worldly posses
sion was exactly the combination of hall
milk and half water. Th? retribution
has overtaken mo. What was rwprc
seated by milk I still have, and what,
was represented by water has gone hack |
to water. Blessed is the namo of
Allah !”
'
Oil Region Reminiscences.
When Roberts's glycerine factory at j
Titusville, Penn., blew up, away hack
somewhere in the up-crock excitement
of the sixties, a hole was left in (ho
ground largo enough to bury tho largest
church in Youngstown, O. The shock j
prostrated pedestrians who were two
miles distant, and the report was plainly
heard forty miles away. It will never be I
known just what caused tho accident, as !
tho four workmen were neycr found,
The most remarkable feature of this ex
plosion was this: Every loose or semi
buried pebble and rock that lay in the
fields surrounding the factory was lifted
from its resting place and shifted exactly
eight inches eastward.
In the year 1878 a nitro-glyecrine mag¬
azine exploded near Bradford, Penn.,
and to this day it is not known whether
five men or seven were killed. In those
days “moon-lighters” abounded, and as
they did all their work under cover of
darkness in order to keep screened from
tho tyos of Roberts’s paid “spotters,’
they bought their glycerine in tho night
time. One night couple of gentry !
a
thought they would steal enough glycer¬
ine to “shoot” a well, and they repaired
* the , above , mentioned . magazine on
^ ,1IW Creek. I hey tried to burst tin
(loor cx I )lfKliT, b T a Hm!lU P° rtion of l,,r
** |
the ezplosiondid nottsta-r wnne |
uiey were still at work trying to burglai
ize the place, one of the owners of thc
magazine and several other men came
along. As they advanced the would-be
burglars retreated, and in a minute or
two the explosion occurred, proliably on
account of tho action of the key in the
lock that had been filled with the explo-
8 j ve material. A few scraps of flesh
were found, but nothing that would give
any clew to the identity of the unfortu
uate parties. A day or two afterward
the trunk of a man’s body was found 800
yards away, beyond a hill seven hundred
feet high, showing (hat the body had
lieen carriwl up into the air probably a
, t ‘ 10 ^ ( a,K ^ 0 '“‘’ ai ; ,r ^ 1 , p ‘ e ‘° ( °re sever!.!
men missing about that time, but th
x;u . t „ um t K . r t h a t jicrished was never
determined.
—
A discount.
^ R j oh mond, Va., It<li„i,ms Her
We heard Brother Holmes of
g avaDEa ii, Ga., tell a good joke on a j I
,y chmond hotel man. He said that,
wjicn Dr . Price, of Wales, was attending
topped at lords Hotd, an when he
knock ^ off half ”,2 the pn(*, as yon von are area a
minister. I>r. I nee thank. U urn, and
■ ’’continued ™
= t replv^ “ W- Well, U contomed
*
, ^r entitled to two
1 ^ ^ d .«
... - -
he hotel m..n g
o.
$1. 00 A YEAR.
THE NEW (MIL SERVICE
Annllicr “"ft tit It it 1 t's i‘ il liy the llawk*
rye Man.
The following suggestions are most is
spectfnlly submitted to the Civil Service
Commission for the guidance of the Gov
eminent employees, not necessarily for
aecCphtnoe, but merely as a guarantee
(hat the Jlawhye is right ttp to the
f r oiit in this glorious reform,
j p rtuc tuality during business hours is
and constant attendance at the desk
not nocfHHary , i,nt clerks should write
. Uu , date of pay day and amount of salary
ol , their hearts with hooks of steal.
o No perquisites are allowed to sub
or d lllatrB , The custom has been found
i pernicious in its tendency, and subver
. Hiw o( i, OJI0Bt administration. The head
i of tho hfts ample time to
rope in nBy mtle loose swag that maybe
: wandering around unclaimed,
; ;k Citizens of 70 years ' and upward,
I u , lll8acting hnt , inom ith , uly of tll0 (lo .
payments, should be addressed by the
j, mior c ] e rks ns “ Sir,” and not “ Young
fella.li ” ns heretofore. It is also desiro
ble that appointees from the Now Eng
]and and Southern States should acquire
some general mode of addressing ladies
(;thor tllan .. Mnrm ” and “ Mum.”
4 oierks of the third class, who arc
learning to write, will ho permitted to
practice on Government stationery dur
j n g the day, but it is not permissible to
curry office supplies to one's night school,
5, tu addressing (tic head of a bureau
,u- department, clerks must address him
by his full title. Only doorkeepers and
janitors will he permitted to enll him,
t< g a y, you !”
g P()H f. no bills,
7. Newspajier correspondents and
magazine writers holding positions in
the departments are not expected to at
tend to any duties savo their literary
work. If that is any indication of what
they can do in thc way of clerical work,
it is evidently money in the Govern¬
ment’s pocket to keep them from doing
>'•
8. All employees are requested, nay,
implored, always to speak of the Cabinet
as “we.”
\\ Flense keep off the grass,
, () ])o hil( , h tho
., ' Gas ., , burned after two «•« ...i m ’ i
■
will be charged extra.
12. Procure tickets before entering
(he train,
lit, lie ware of pickpockets.
17. Do not piok any leaf, shrub, or
flower,
15. Gouts without baggago are re¬
quired to pay in advance,
1(i. Smoking oil tho second floor of
this building <s prohibited,
17. Five dollars fine for crossing tho
bridge faster than a walk,
18. No fishing or shooting allowed on
tins farm.
19. Children having seats at the table
will he charged full rates,
20. This way out.
Many ol these have been in opperntion
all over the continent for many years,
and have r ccivetl the general and heurty
approval of the public,
A Terrible Experience.
A bridal night experience almost sur¬
passing in tragic horror that of the bride
of Lnmmcrmor, which Scott said was
“on ower true talc,” is reported from
Rio Grande del Sur, near thc Uruguay
frontier. A young farmer’s marriage
was postponed on account of his being
bitten by a .log. Tho wound was cau¬
terized, and all went well. Three months
later doctors declared all danger over.
T ho marriage took place, A supper
ft ill. i we 1, aid at snppjr the bridegroom
was noticed to fall into gloomy abstrac¬
tion. After supper came dancing, and
when thc hull was at its height flic bride
aud bridegroom withdre.v. About an
hour later piercing screams came from
the bridal chamber. ’Cl... A'mh was burst
open. On the floor lay the bride, still
alive, hut torn as though by a wild beast.
The bridegroom, covered with blood and
foaming at the month, cowered in a cor
nor, but in a moment sprang upon one
of the men, when n brother o' the bride
sent a bullet through his brain.
—
How to Make Potato Straws.
-
Wash a pint of potatoes, peel them
very thin, slice them alwut quarter of an
inch thick, put them into plenty of salted
boiling water, and boil them until they
arc tender, which will be iu about ten
minutes; when the potatoes are tender
JK)nr them into a colander with large
^ ’- et the water drain off; when
‘he ffitahK* arc quite dry sprinkle oyer
them a tea-spoonful of salt and quarter 1 !
of salt-spoonfid of white pepper; hold
the colander over one en.t of a large
platter, anil press upon the potatoes with j j
» P° tato uiahher - movin « the colander
toward thc other end of the dish as the j
potatoes are pressed through it, so that
they will fall iqioii the dish m loug rows;
^ ^ ^ 3 t he dfeh; then j
->«' <> ! the dish with a clean
towel> it in tbe oven for two or three
n)jnnte8 to heat the pota toes, and then
—* "“"j__»______
The wife of a brand new memlter ol
^
f a r...I y would remove fo Washington, i
but , he , VliB „ ndeeided as to bow they
wouk in .U tbft caplta ’ l ; she favored !
taking / of Pot flate
oly
WIT AND WISDOM,
The reason men succeed who mind
their own business, is because there is bo
little competition.
A otf-rt in a St. Albans hotel was ob¬
served trying to pick up the wick of sin
unsatisfactory gas burner.
An exciianoe says: “What is in a
name ?” Well, ask your bank directors
to discount your noto and you will find
out.
If von ask a bald-headed man how he
would prefer to bo upholstered, he’ll
likely express a desire for mo’-hair on
the top of his head.
“ I’m saddest when I sing,” lamented
tho poet, but if he could hare sung for
$5,000 a night ho would probably have
been saddest when he couldn’t sing,
“ l dove that man with all my heart,”
said a Philadelphia girl, “but tho trouble
is that if I answer yes everybody will say
that I married for money. He is an
editor.”
Colorado is judged in the East by its
bonanza kings. Bother 1 “Wo think so
little of them heft,” says tho Denver
Tribune, “that wo send them to the
Senate.”
“Why ore politicians always talking
about the party platform, my dear?”
queried Mrs. Rattler of her husband.
“Looking for the ‘deals,’ my lore," re
joined Rattler.
“Are you any relation to my sister?
I hi blushed and stammered, until tho
young lady, taking pity on him, solved
the matter by saying: “No, but he’d
like to bo—wouldn’t you, Alfred?”
“ Kind words cost nothing and go a
long distance.” Wo knew a lotter con¬
taining ft few that went from New York
to Philadelphia, and thon caino back to
the sender’s wife and caused a divorce
suit.
“ Tins last, word ” is the most danger¬
ous of infernal machines; and the hus¬
band and wife should no more fight to
get, it than they would struggle for the
possession of a lighted bombshell.—
Douglas Jerald.
An article in a Cliiongo paper is
tended, “ Kissed by her husband.” A
Chicago man who has read it writes us
that although it is rhetorically a fine
piece of work tho effect is spoiled by its
utter lack of probability.
hr is feared that the groat, Brooklyn
Bridge will ho a failure because the
footpath is in the middle, and the Amer¬
ican citizen is Unis deprived of the pleas
lire of leaning over thc outer railing and
spitting on the ferryboats.
“Beo pardon, sir, lint could—hie—
you till me which is the opposite sido of
I ho street?” “Why, that side, sir”
(pointing across). "Mosh oldish, I was
stiver there jus’ now, and asked 'nother
gem’l’n which was ojips’ side, an'he said
this was.”
A congressman's wife wont to tho
Sergeant-at Anns of Ihe Senate, just be
fciro Congress adjourned, and begged for
one of the Senator’s desks. Bright sent
her to tho “property-man,” who has a
perfect furniture store down in thc cellar
somewhere. To him said the persistent
“Mrs. Representative”: “I want a Sena¬
tor's desk ; I want to send it home and
have it put in tho library to surprise my
husband when ho goeB back. You see,”
she added in a hurst of confidence, see¬
ing that the furniture man didn’t look
particularly cross, “wo go out on the 4th
of March, antf we want to get as much
out of it as possible.” She didn’t get
that desk.
A Human Locomotive Whistle.
Morere, the celebrated tenor of France,
has just become incurably mad. ami has
been shut up in a private lunatic asy¬
lum. This singer possessed such ex¬
tremely powerful lungs that he eould
whistle with as much force and intensity
as a railway engine, and lie practiced
tins peculiar art so often that it became
a mania with him. On several occasions
while walking on the Boulevards, he let
off steam in this fashion to tho great ter
ror of all nervous passers-by, and even
succeeded in making the Parisian cab
horses restive—a feat which most people
who know the calibre of those wonder
fill animals would deem an imjiOBSibiii
f y> j n onfi instanco he was arrested
and taken to a police court where he was
fj„ed and severely reprimanded for thus
disturbing the public peace. One even
mg when Morere was singing in “Faust”
at tbe Grand Opera his voice was in
8U(! h bad form that thc gallery began to
hi88j an<1 continued to do so until the
disturbance became general. On this
the tenor leaped down into the orchestra
and shouted out, “Since you have be
gun to hiss, let me tell you that you
don ’t understand the art in the least.”
Thereupon he treated them to his loud
<-st and most prolonged whistle, and the
Parisians, always good-natured, forgave
him his false notes and cheered him to
the echo. Ihe unfortunate singers
pre8cnt man i a is that he exists for the
PW not only of surpassing theshnek
— — —
A bac „k,.or and a spinster who had
, ’ schoolmates in youth and were
llT.U ,. met in after vears
W iUL
“men “ live a great ^ deal faster than wo
m . the helor replied: “Yes,
Maria, the last time we met we were each
twenty-four years old, now I am over
forty, and I hear you haven’t reached
thirty yet” They never met again.