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gawn limbec ©aactt^! BY RICHARD W GRUBB DARIEN GEORGIA, sTl'Rn.g MOK.MNfI, 4PBIL 95th 1814, j ALL SORTS , Elizabeth Caily Stanton doesn't ap prove of the whiskey crusade. They 1 didn’t send for her to talk at SIOO per night, and that makes a big difference you see. , Texas judges are accommodating fellows. One of them who fined a man S3OO took a S2O mule and called i it square. A citizen in lowa writes to the Postmaster General: “If you don’t get someone to run this ’ere poast off’us purty soon it'll bo trone into (he river, for I am going off on a bear hunt and < a dt fool any nioar.” When a Georgia father walks into a newspaper office with a shot gun on his shoulder and says: “My dar ter has writ some poetry which 1 want yon to publish,’’ how’s a Teller going to plead press of matter ? “He handled a gun carelessly, and put his angel plumage on,’’ is an obituary which appears in a Western paper. 1 A laugh is worth a hundred gr.'iis in any market. Charles Lamb, when speaking of one of his rides on horse-back, re marked that “all at once his horse stopped, but he kept right on.’’ A Detroit paper noting the fact that a man lately dropped dead while combing his hair, says, “And yet there are persona who will persist in the dangerous habit." An Irish editor, who speaks with the air of a man who has discovered a now fact by experience, says that the way to prevent bleeding at (ho nose is to keep your nose out of other peo ple’s business. A little girl ran out to meet her fat’.V ■r, as he was on his way home to dinnew, exclaiming: ‘Thi, I decline snjuebfcdy hue broken ki ty all to An examination disclosed Hr pu*'os had been added to the family. ■ A Kentucky farmer lcfused to look mt a sample sewing machine recently, ns ho always “sawed wheat by hand.’’ He is related to man who did not want a threshing machine on lnb tarm, “.or,” eaiil lie; “give me a har nessjtug or a barrel stave, ami I cau make my family toe the mark accord ing to the law anil Scriptur.” A philosophical Kentuckian, who had bat one shirt, and was lying in bed while the garment was drying on the clothes-line in the yard, was star tled by au exclamation frolu his wife to the effect that the calf had eaten it. “Well,” snpl the Kentuckian, with a spirit worthy of a better cause —“well, them who bus must lose.” In CoopeiWowu, Now York, they tell about an'English joker who dined with Fenimon Cooper before he died in 1851. Cooper was then the most conspicuous man in the little town, which ncstics at 11 le foot of a high mountain and reposes on the shores of Otsego Ono lay, while Mr. Coop er was dining with the Englishman, he poured out some native wine wine from grapes raised in his own garden. Taking up a glass and look ing through it with pride, Coopor re marked; “Now, Mr. Stebbins, I call this good, honest wine." "Yes, Mr. Cooper, I agree with yous it is honest vine—“poor but honest.” Mr Coop er went on telling his “Injun” stories. Tlio ladies of Leavenworth have in circulation a pledge, of which the fol lowing is the gist: “In consideration of our sad husbanos and fathers signing the pledge to abstain from the use of intoxicating drinks, we do hereby pledge ourselves to hence-, forth and former wear no more wool, flax, jute, horse hair, thread or any thing else or our heads, except the hair that grows there, and use no indre newspapers, except as men use TEMPERANCE CRUSADE- Some of its Salient Features. THE WANE OF THE GREAT EMOTIONAL FU RORE —WHY IT FAILED TO ACCOMPLISH I IHE PURPOSE OF THE CRUSADERS. ! That the temperance crusade is ! rapidly on the wane, and will soon ! cease to occupy the place of a “nine i 'fry’ B wonder,” is an undeniable fact .—a fact, too, which, while it may dis ' appoint some, should surprise no (me who has given the subject a moment’s intelligent and impartial thought, io speak the plain truth in plain words, ndthing but the season of the year prevented this movement from being a clear case of “midsummer madness.” It originated in what we conceive to bo two grave errors, which it is al mc It as difficult to excuse as it is to understand. First, that it is possible to break up (he traffic in and con sumption of intoxicating liquors as long as man’s stomach and conscience i remain what-they now are. Second, the spiritual exercise called pray- if we. consider its divine or- IWin— bo any more efficacious in pub [ ,Tc than in private. The injury indicted by the improp er use of intoxicating liquors is too self-evident to require a word of con firmation or comment; but looking a' that use in the light of experience and common sense, is it not the height ot folly to suppose it can be utterly sup pressed, either by moral suasion or unfriendly legislation? Mon have drunk more than they ought to ever since the world began, and we are compelled to believe they will continue to do so as long as the world stands. In those races which are sunk the lowest depths of barbarism, as well as those where civilization has touched the very topmost point, the vinous appetite is found, and with it the means of gratification. No other in stinct —except those of self-preserva tion and the propagation of the spe cies—seems to be so thoroughly im bedded in the constitution of man, re garding him collectively and not as an individual. The evil resulting therefrom is no more apparent now than it was two thousand years ago. In the literature of Greece and Romo, penned centuries before Christ was horn, may be read us sharp denuncia tions of the vice of drunkenness and as eloquent, apostrophes to temper mice as 1 ver dropped Horn the lips of Father Mathew, or mingled with the exhortations of Dio Lewis. The sages and philosophers of those days saw as plainly and felt as keenly as the good ——• r..— *>, ■ W n ' I ' mr poring their zeal with discretion thf/y never attempted to annihdiate with what reason told them was beyond the reach of human power. Like the many other irremediable evils which afflicted them as well as us. they were forced to accept arid endure it—at the same time doing all they could to outrol it. What can we do more? There are persons who crave these stimulants, and who will have them at any cost; and at all hazards. Ami just so long as the demand exists the supply must be forthcoming'. More over, it is absolutely certain that the more prohibitions there are thrown around the vending and drinking of ardent spirits, the stronger will lie the desire for them and the greater the efforts to obtain them. Sto'en fruit is proverbially sweet, and many a man has walked a mile ;or a glass of whiskey sold in a dark celler, who would not have discoved jus thirst had the ex met of corn been 111 an open bar-room the next corner. Prohibition and suppression, no mat ter wha' shape they assume, a’ways have failed and always will fail —at least until human nature undergoes a radical and permanent revolution. All that is left us to make the best of what we cannot help, and, endeavor by' precept and example to teach the propriety and necessity of self-re straint. Beyond tins we may not go, and beyond this we have uo right to The original feature of the crusade now hasten ig to its close, is tlio in troduction ot prayer among tbe oui (U>or exercises. \Ve presume that the Christian people who have taken part in these exercises would be shucked if they thought there action was an argument against their oivu faith m prayer. Yet it is nothing less, it there is any efficacy in the petitions to the Supreme Being, they will avail as much when offered in tho church, as in the closet, or in the middle ot a crowded street, or among the rabble of a drum-shop. The great Hearer and Answerer of prayer does not surely need such incongruous sur- roundings as these to induce Him to bend a listening car and return a fa vorable response to His suppliant children. Yet siucely religious men and '.yomen have deemed it their du ty U> thus draw together the sacred Ru t tbe profane, and lit U rally drag h'• ™Eh\isgs in tbe mire. \\ bile the >y : tins strai g- nii-Ao lasted, IV it T - prajei-bMT they have unwittingly* helped it. There ought to bo aiyrmiding confidence in the power of prayer—but the lame and impotent c inclusion of the movement in which prayer is the main element, has in (he estimation of the community at large, seriously undemiued that coijfidenee. The only consolation to be derived from the sorio-eomical exhibition! ol the past few weeks, the probability (hat"their acknowledged failure will prevent a repetition of Louis Republican. i mortal bo sad ?’ exclaims the Mi’wnu kee Sentinel, ‘when New Orleans Mo lasses sells at fourteen cents per quart, and buckwheat is thrown at a man in fifty pound packages.’ A Brooklyn sea-captain, j list re turned from a tour (f the Holy Land, expressed himself disgusted wilh Je rusalem. ‘lt is the meanest place I ever visited. There is not a (Iron of liquor in the old town lit to driujj iNSk-The Mi waukee Times prints this sensible paiagrapb: Coiresfou- j dents will oblidge us very materially if, in their articles, t‘:ey will coniine themselves to the use of either i or ‘wo.’ The indiscriinimi use of both is vexatious. Neither is it. necessary to quote every other word mid hnli cise the rest. 1 * Csay-Tiiey were going to put a man out ot a San Francisco theatre for creating a disturbance, when a voice cried, ‘He is all rigiit he has killed a Chinaman !’ and they let alone. jgSgrSome students fixed up a ghost and placed it. on the st.airenso v of a Troy newspaper office the other night, and* then retired and waited develop ments. One oj the editors came along and did not get frightened He disrobed it, and now wears a fifteen dollar pair of pantaloons, a ten-dollar vest, a seven-dullar pair of boots and an eight-dullai lmt, while one of the students goes about, without a -vesj,' and another roams around thftugh | the least frequented streets wearing a very ancient pair of inexpressiUts. j b&fA. infill in New Hampshire,fwho j had recently buried his wife, on hear-j ing of ihe sudden death of Ins net rest! n Jig bur’s better half, hnstened'over i to bis house to console him. After : j he belied 1 the lifeless remains fri the ! lady, lit’ remarked: ‘Wal, we tiive ; both lost our women, ami all wo —tvujjt.. .TnVT'TT' lid l UU/ , lff!WV .... . ; fiiis“Tlie following appeared i. >e Philadelphia Ledger, not long inte * Wanted- to trade a vault in | ment Cemetery for a piano. l North Sixth sin et. • Mis. Marowfat’s oldest f ' l ' n ’ | John has taken to writing poet ' . 01 the newspapers, a vicious habit '* 1101 ! she attribut -s to the fact tha Inr' 11 ' 1 ' bled down stairs, when a moref 11 ' •and spraiued his intu'lect. / Said a Baptist to Method J do not like your government,! ft 15 not simple enough. There V * 00 ,! much machinery about it.' T replied the metbodist, ‘we ir. V J,< ’ ie machinery than yon, but then; • 1)11 -ee, it don’t take near so m>v • *>' ft tiT ' to run it.’ ' ,|Haimbonb- ~sUii sss• CHANGE OF SCHEDULE (JENE’L SUPERINTENDENT’S OFFIIP' j ATLANTIC AND GULF RAILROAD- f SAVANNAH October 11 IKb.; AN AND AFTER SATURDAY. OCTO!#* ' I Is"3. Pasecugcr Trains ou line road follows: EXPRESS PASSENGER. Leave Savannah daily at I TI ■ Arrive at Josup - ! .ai yat Ntf Arrive at Buinbridgc daily at Nli,.' • jp Arrive at Albany daily at AM Y M Arrive at Live oak daily at Gw \ Arrive at .Jacksonvile daily at x A \i* Lrriveat Tallahassee dtiiiy at 10:5a ~ Leave Tnllalwiss <■ daily at R'V p ; W Leave Jacksonville daily at Leave Live Oak daily at , ~, Leave Albany daily at Leave Uaiunrh!i.*o daily at Leave Jesup daily at 1 jSJjHf- L’ j Arrive at Savannah daily at - Sd-i ping Car run# through to Jacksonville. I . Passengers for Bnina-'.ck take thisTrlhl, B|f V,,I S | at Brunswick daily at 10:30 P M. ~, ~ Arrive at Brunswick dhtly at I 1 a ■ ■ •}' Aeave Brunswick 2:*| ?{' Arrive at Savannah fiLu' Passengers from Macon hy M. and B ny v “ ■ train connect at Je-up with train for Elolq'- 1 ttS sen gets from Florida connect at Jesup wtu tram arriving in Jlacon al 4:30 P. M. ACCOMMODATION TRAIN. (EASTERS DIVISION.) Leave Savannah (Monday. Wednesday ami Friday) at ti:t>Be• -M- Arnve at Jesup (Monday, Wednesday and Friday) at latSJ* 'l -at Lawton Monday, Wednesday and Friday) at T.Jt I > M. Leave Lawton (Tuesday, Thursday and sat- 1 imlay at s:tfA. 31. Leave Jesup (Tuesday. Thursday and '•atur-l day) at ...W M. Arrive at Savannah (Tuesday, Tlmraiay and j. Saturday! at 5:i5(P. 31- ACCOMMODATION TRAIN. 4 (WESTERN DIVISION.) Leave Lawton (Sunday excepted) “ J5vA. M. Arrive at Valdosta. •• A -M- Arrive at Quitman. " 10:54A. 31. Arrive at TLomasville -‘ Jt** * • Arrive at Albany, “ ~P- 31. Leave Albany, “ ? :I 'j V, Leave Thomasville, “ 2:lu 1 ■ 31. Le.;ve Qu'tman. “ j Jl. Leave Valdosta. " \r Arrive at Law ion. “ _ Yr ■ THE DARIEN TIMBER GAZETTE, PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY MORNING AT Darien, MCINTOSH co.. GEORGIA, BY RICHARD \V. GRUBB, SUBSCRIPTION PRICE ONLY $2 50 k ANNUM. ADVERTISING BATHS LIB ERAL* CHARLES A. DANA, Editor. - ®foe §q\\m Weekly Jsun. A Newspaper ot the Present Times. 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