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§mtn ©irniw (SascttG ANNUAL SUBSCRIPTION $2 50. SATURDAY MORNING," SEPfTsT A Boy’s Composition on the Pio.— "The pig is about as big ns a sheep, only a pig’s wool isn’t good for mak ing stockings of. Why is a pig like a tree? Because he roots. That is a conundrum. A pig washes himself in the mud. A pig has four legs, one under each corner of his body. They pickle pigs feet, but not till after the pig is got done using ’em. A pig squeals awful when it. rains, also when you pull his tail A pig has got a first rate voice for squealing, and he grunts when he feels good. You can’t make a whistle out of a pig’s tail, ’cos it is crooked. Why is a pig like R—? 'Cos lie’s got his nose into everybody’s bus iness. This is another conundrum, which is all I know about a pig.” Id#’"Beecher's salary as pastor of Plymouth church is $20,000 (not $25,- 000) per annum—the largest salary paid to any clergyman m the world. His congregation were anxious to raise it to that figure several years be fore they did, but he resisted, and fi nally yielded with the remark that if they were resolved to waste their money, he was a good mnn to waste it on. As editor of the Christian Un ion, he receives SIO,OO a year. By mis cellaneous writing and lecturing, the popular clergyman, probably, makes at least SIO,OOO more; so that his earn ings are $40,000 a year. Not A Candidate.— An intoxicated man fell into a Fourth street gutter not long since. A gentleman passing by, helped him to his feet, when the boozy individual straightened up, squinted one eye, and looking at the stranger, said: “All right—hie—l’ll vote for you, sure.’, The stranger looked wonderingly, and wished to know what for. “Wha’ office you runnin’ for?” ‘,l ? none at all,” was the answer. “Not a candidate ?” “No; why ?” “Why—hie—thunder’ll lightnin’—l didn’t know as any man’d—hie—help ’nother as you did ’thout bein’ a can didate.” The stranger walked off laughing heartily. *A correspondent of the Cincin nati Enquirer writes: “During my brief stay in Paris I have seen at least 600,000, and in this number only three drunkards, and not a single crusader. Everybody drinks. Wine is a part of the meals. They put brandy instead of milk. The father pours wine for his daughter, the mother for her chil dren. On all the principal streets there are little tables placed on the sidewalk in front of the cafe, where all classes sit and drink and mingle free ly. But there is no disorder, no dis turbance.” * •#._ —— people” are a sin gular set iu Portland. Within a week one respectable citizen was caught stealing jewelry, and another with kid gloves, stole a ham, a third was arrested for stealing spoons, and a fourth, a “prominent citizen,” was picked up in a state of almost hope less intoxication. Mif Codfish and Congress are much more alike than most people suppose. A codfish, it is said, deposits 6,000 eggs a year, and of all these but 100 are worthlass, while of every 6,000 Bdls passed by Congress, scarcely more than 100 are worth the paper on which they are printed. - - ■ •# * W&T At a party, while a youug lady was playing with peculiar brilliancy of touch, a bystauder bachelor ex claimed, “I’d give the whole world for those fingers!” “perhaps you might get the whole Laud by asking,” said the young lady’s observant ma ma. JB6T’“Had a hail storm last night,” remarked a guest to a California land lord. “Ob no,” was the reply,” “only a few of the boys shooting at the Chi namen, and the balls rattled against the house.” j®* A starving woman in Paterson, New Jersey, driven to an excess of desperation that savors of mad des pair, was actually forced to spend her last six dollars for a wig. Pity the sorrow* of the poor. WaT“A suburban minister applied to a ticket agent, on one of the railroads, for a “clergyman’s ticket,’’ and on the official expressing a doubt as to his clerical character, exclaimed; “If you don’t believe I’m a clergyman, I’ll read you one of my sermons !” The agent passed over the ticket, but did not insist upon the proof. l®*“lt is a beautiful sight,” says the Arizona Miner, “to attend an Ar izouia wedding. The bride in white —the happy g*-oom —the solemn min ister—the smiling parents, and from twenty-five to forty shot guns stand ing against th 6 wall ready for use, make up a panorama not soon forgofc _teb/’ Atwoods & Avery, BROAD STREET, RETAIL DEALERS IN 9 n GROCERIES, DRUGS & MEDICINES, BOOTS, SHOES, HARDWARE &.O. KEEP CONSTANTLY ON HAND A LARGE AND WELL SELECTED STOCK of everything in their line of business. PROMPT ATTENTION PAID TO ONDERS. Masters of vesels would do well to give then a call, They invite the attention of the public to their new Spring Stock, A line assortment of STRAW GOODS AID HATS, • > >*9 f 11 of the latest styles. s' ! > w. Dress Goods, Prints. Cloths, 0 ' Casimers and everything pertaining to the Dry Goods trade can be found in their store. They also keep on hand a first-class stock of Harness, Harness trimmings, Saddles, Carriage trimmings, &c. Their stock of Crockery, Stone, China, and Glass wares are of the best qualities THE DARIEN TIMBER GAZETTE, PUBLISHED EVERY l’||;!DAV MORNING AT Darien, MCINTOSH CO., GEORGIA, BY RICHARD AY. GRUBB, SUBSCRIPTION PRICE ONLY i?+g. ' r o\vKr b $2 50 t sou i /?- PER ANNUM. ADVERTISING RATES LIB ERAL. WM. SKENCK. BOOT & SHOE MAKER, DARIEN, GEORGIA. IS NOW prepared to do any sort of work in the Boot and Shoe line. Custom-made boots furnish ed at reasonable prices. Shop at B. Pfeiffer's, oppo site Magnolia House. May 30— Altamaha House, M. MA H ONE Y, Agent. DARIEN ; GEORGIA, rpIIIS HOUSE has been put in GOOD ORDER. L Good clean beds at FIFTY CENTS per night, for lodging. Also good meats at Fift\ Cents per meal. Takes pleasure.in Inviti'g the public to the same. The choicest wines and liquors kept on hand. Attached to this House is a fir.-t-elass VARIETY HALL, which will lie opened by a First-Class Troupe fr >m New York the ensuing seaaun. June 20-ly. BURR WIN TON. CONTRACTOR AND BUILDER, BRUNSWICK, GA. pLANS and Specifications furnished on short no * tice. W ill contract to erect Buildings in every style. A'so superintend Buildings at reasonable prices. All orders left with tlie firm ot Atwoods & Av- ry, Darien, Ga., will be attended to with dis patch. ’ Julv4tf. i l BURNEY, PLASTERER & BRICKLAYER. 0 Is prepared to do plain and ornamental i1 astering. BRICK WORK —AND (louse painting in every style at short notice. DARIEN, GEORGIA. CROCKERY, China, Glassware, House and Furbishing O-oods. KEIOSIIE LAMPS. IE., FOR SALE IN Original Packages or Packed to Orders. E. D, SMYTHE, Congress and St. Julian Streets, Savannah, - - Georgia May IC—3m. JOB PfiHfllff 0 HAVING POWER PRESSES, NEW TYPE AND Fix tures, large stock of ruled and tint papers, card stock, Ac., on hand, and first-class workmen, THE APPEAL PRINTING OFFISE, BRUNSWICK. G I.OIIGIA, Is prepared to promptly execute all classes o( Job Printing, on short notice and at prices that will compare with the lowest —workmanship and material considered. ORDERS SOLICITED FOR PAMPHLETS, BILL AND LETTER HEADS, MONTHLY STATEMENTS, HAND-BILLS AND PROGRAMMES, BUSINESS AND VISITING CARDS, BLANKS. OF ALL KINDS, . # And all other classes and kinds of Job Printing, in plain black, or as many colors in ink or bronze as desired. The Appeal office being splendidly furnished with new type and fixtures, there is no establishment in this section better pre pared to do all classes of Job Printing, on short notice and at reasonable prices. TERMS CASH, on delivery of work. ORDERS SENT DIRECT will receive the same attention as if attended to in person. A prll S MAGNOLIA HOUSE!! DARIEN, : : GEORGIA. ANY additions have been made in this house - during the past month, and the Proprietor taken pleasure in saying to hig old PATRONS AND FRIENDS and to all who desire FIRST-CLASS accommoda tions, that he ie ready to satisfy them at the iollow iug rates : Board and lodging per month $30,00 Table Board “ “ 26 00 Board and lodging “ week— —IO,OO Board - “ per day sloo Meals each Lodgings “ A. E. CARR, Proprietor, M. CONWAY, Clerk. RQp K “ N g MEASURER AND INSPECTOR OF Timber and Lumber. Respectfully solicits Patronage. Darien, - - - Georgia. May-2 6m. Putnam’s UVEHV STABLE, DARIEN & HRLNSDICK, GA. A. T. PUTNAM, Prt’r. May— 2-tf. '£. G. FERGURSGN, M. D.7 Physician, Surgeon, Aceoueier, BRUNS [VICK, GEORGIA. May 30— WILLIAM HONS, DEALER IN Wines, Liquors and Cigars, 73 St. Julian & 164 Congress Streets; Savannah, Ga. May 16—6 m. W- Robert Gigniliiat, ATTORNEY AT LAW, DARIEN. GA* j )ROMTT ATTFN'I ION given toall legal busines J in the K isti rn and Brim-wick Circuits, and i the United States Courts at Savannah. April 25—ly.