Newspaper Page Text
VOL. 5.--NO. 50.
Darien Timber Gazette,
PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY MORNING,
.IT IKIHIE.r, GEORGIA,
CORNER BROAD AND NORTHWAY STREETS.
RICHARD W. GRUBB,
s23Editor anti Proprietor.
SUBSCRIPTION RATES :
For one year (in advance) $2.50
For ail months “ 1.50
CLUB RATES:
Five copies, each ono year $2.00
Ten copies, each one year 1.50
ADVERTISING RATES :
Per square, ten lines space, first insertion... .$1.50
Per square, each subsequent insertion 1.00
Speciai, Rates to Yearly and Large Advertisers
Advertisements from responsible parties will be
published until ordered out, when the time is not
specified on the copy, and payment exacted ac
cordingly.
Communications for individual benefit, or of a
personal character, charged as advertisements.
Marriages and obituary notices not exceeding
four lines solicited for publication. When ex
ceeding that space, charged as advertisements.
BiUs for advertisements due upon presentation
after the first insertion, but a spirit of commercial
liberality will be practiced toward regular patrons.
To avoid any misunderstanding the above rules
■will be adhered to without deviation.
All letters and communications should be ad
dressed to the undersigned,
RICHARD W. GRUBB,
Timber Gazette, Darien, Georgia.
City Directory.
COUNTY OFFICERS.
County Commissioners— James Walker,Chairman;
Adam Strain, Isaa< M. Aiken, J. A. Atwood, T. H.
OiKnilliat, James E. Holmes, Joseph Hilton.
Cierk Board of County Commissioners —Spalding
Kenan.
C.erk Superior Court —L. B. Davis.
Ordinary —O. H. Hopkins, Sr.
Sheriff— T. Butler Blount.
Receiver Tax Returns —W. McW. Young.'
Tax Collector —O. C. Hopkins.
County Treasures —M. 0. O’Neil.
County Surveyor —W. R. I’opjJel.
Coroner —Philip Maxwell.
The Commissioners hold monthly moetings on
the first Wednesday in eaeh month.
CITY OFFICERS.
Ex-Officio Mayor —James Walker.
Ex-Officio Aldermen —Joseph Hilton, .1. A. Atwood,
Adam Strain, J. E. Holmes, Thomas U. Gignilliat,
Isaac M. Aiken.
STANDING COMMITTEES.
Committee on Finance —Messrs. Strain, Atwood
and Hilton.
Committee on Accounts —Messrs. Holmes, Gignil
liat and Aiken.
Committee on Harbor —Messrs. Hilton, Aiken
•nd Strain.
Committee on Health and Cemetery— Messrs. Gignil
liat, Atwood and Holmes.
Committee on Paupers —Messrs. Atwood, Holmes
and Gignilliat.
Committee on Jail —Mossrs. Aiken, Hilton and
Atwood.
Committee on StreeJs and Lanes —Mossrs. Aiken,
Strain and Holmes.
Committee on County Roads —Messrs. Atwood,
Gignilliat and Hilton.
Committee on Public Buildings —Messrs. Strain,
Gignilliat, and Aiken.
Ccmmitlee. on Police —Messrs. Holmss, Hilton and
Strain.
Committee on Ordinances— Mossrs. Aiken, Strain
and Atwood.
Clerk and Treasurer—Spalding Kenan.
City Marshal —Charles H. Hopkins, Jr.
Deputy Marshal —Alonzo Guyton.
Harbor Master —.lames Abeol.
lhirt Physician —Dr. James Holmes.
Inspector General of Timber —George W. Faries.
Port Wardens —lsaac M. Aiken, John H. Burrell,
and James G. Y'oung.
Jailer —Cliarlos 11. Hopkins, Jr.
Board Pilot Commissioneri —Charles S. I.angdon.
Chairman, It. K. Walker, W. C. Clark, Arthur Bai
ley, Dr. R. B. Harris, James Lachiison and Robt.
Mitchell. Wm. L. Gignilliat, Secretary.
MASONIC.
Live Oak Lodgo, No. 137, meets first Wednesday
night in eacli month at their hall near the Magno
lia House; H. S. Ravenel, Worshipful Master; R.
W. Grubb, Secretary
UNITED STATES OFFICERS.
Collector of Customs , Brunswick District —John T.
Collins. Headquarters at Brunswick.
Deputy Collector of Customs for Port of Darien—
Charles H. Townsend.
Boarding Master —Edwin C. Davis.
Postmaster —D. WebHter Davis.
Dejmty Marshal —. Joseph B. Bond.
SUPERIOR COURT—EASTERN CIRCUIT.
Hon. Wm. B. Fleming, Judge.
Major A. B. Smith, Solicitor General.
Bulloch County—-Thursday before first Mondays
in April and October.
Effingham County—First Mondays in April and
October.
Bryan County—Thursdays after 'first Mondays.
In April and October.
Chatham County—Second Mondays in February,
May and October.
Mclntosh County—Tuesdays after last Mondays in
April and October.
Liberty County—Tuesday after second Mondays
In May and October.
UNITED STATES MAILS.
Tho mails arrive from Sterling. No. 1, Macon A
Brunswick Railroad, every morning (Sunday ex
cepted) at 10 o’clock a. ra.. departing every after
noon at Op. in. Mail closes at 2‘j p. m.
Side mail for No. 3, Atlantic & Gnlf Railroad,
departs B>£ o’clock every Tuesday morning and
arrives at 8 p. m. every Monday, touching at
Riceboro and South Newport both ways.
RELIGIOUS.
Religious services at tho Methodist Church
every Sunday morning at 11 oclook, and evening
at H’o’clock. School at tho Ridge every Sunday
afternoon at 3S£ o’clock. Rev. H. E. Harman, pas
tor.
Religious servicos ovory Sabbath at 11 a. m. and
3p. m. at the Methodist Church, colored, Rev.
L. H. Smith, pastor.
REGULAR LINE
On the Altamaha, Ocnsulgee,
and Oconee Rivers.
THE NEW AND LIGHT DRAFT STEAMER
3P <0 izzl ,
Drawing twenty inches only when
lafleu, will ply regularly on the'waters of the
Altamaha, Ocmnlgee ami Oconee rivers, (luring
both summer and winter, connecting with A. A- G.
R. R. at Doctortown. and M. & B. R. R. at Lumber
City Bridge, and with Savannah by steamer David
Clark, Captain Tom White, at Darien. Freights
are kindly solicited. Strict attention shall be paid
to all freight and business consigned to her. Live
and let live, shall be her motto. With permission,
respectfully referring all parties to R. C. Bowin,
House Creek, Wilcox county, Smith Turner. Ab
berville, Wilcox county, T. F. Fussel, Wilcox Lake,
Telfair county, Stephen Middleton, Appling
county, steamboat agents at Darien, and railroad
agents at Doctortown and Lumber City, and Robt.
Mcßride Montgomery county.
dec2o-6m JENKINS HOLMES, Master.
Cigars and Tobacco.
We have In stock a fnll line of Cigars, fine me
dium and finest.
The Best Five Cent Cigai.
FINE CUT AND PLUG TOBACCO.
Call and have a good smoke or chew at
W. n. COTTER A CO S.,
fobt’-lf Druggists and Apothecaries.
Legal Cards.
'Y'yr ALTER A, WAY,
Atlovuey-at-L.aw and Real
Estate Agent,
DARIEN, GEORGIA.
Will practice in the Superior Courts of the
Brunswick and Eastern Circuits. Also, in the
Federal Courts in cases of Bankruptcy, etc. Par
ticular attention giveu to the collection of claims
and the examination of laud titles. april'23
ROBERT GIGNILLIAT,
Attorney-at-Law,
DARIEN, GEORGIA.
Prompt attention given to all legal business in
the Eastern and Brunswick Circuits, and in the
United States Courts at Savannah, Georgia.
april2s-ly
le. b. Delorme,
1.
Attorney & Counselor-at-Raw,
and Notary Public.
DARIEN, GEORGIA.
Office on Broad stroet, near Timber Exchange.
July 2
JJR. SPALDING KENAN,
DARIEN, GEORGIA.
Offers liis professional services to the citizens of
Darien and vicinity. He can be found at all hours
day and night, at his office on Screven street, next
door to Mr. Wilcox’H dwelling house. augß-ly
JQR. R. B. HARRIS
Offers his professional services to tho citizens of
Darien and surrounding country. All calls prompt
ly attended, both medical and surgical. Office
under tho Masonic Hall, in old Custom House
building.
J J. ABRAMS,
Attorney-at-EaW,
Commercial Building,
JuneG-tf SAVANNAH, GEORGIA.
HENRY R. TOMPKINS. ) U. A. DENMARK.
mOMPKINS & DENMARK,
Attorney s-at-Eaw,
No. 105 Bay Street, SAVANNAH, GA.
Practice in the United States Courts, and in the
Superior Courts of the Eastern Circuit. " iefi-tf
Miscellaneous.
OUT.
HOYT’S COLOGNE, CORNING’S COLOGNE,
LUBIN’S EXTRACTS, POMADES,
HAIR OIL, TOILET POWDER,
LILLY WniTE, PUFF BOXES,
ROUGE, TOILET SETS,
And in fact, a full assortment of Perfumery and
Fancy Toilet Articles. Soaps—toilet, laundry and
medicated. Give us a call.
W. 11. COTTER & CO.,
feb92-tf Druggists and Apothecaries.
BAN ICR UP T STOCK
OF ONE OF THE LARGEST
New York Wholesale
Ming louses!
—AT—
HO CONGRESS and 139 St. JULIAN STS.
Savannah, Ga.
Fine Beady Made Clothing
’ —AND—
GENTS 5 FURNISHING GOODS
MUST BE SOLD
Regardless of Cost!
The greatest chance that ever was offered. No
more high prices. Send your orders. Satisfaction
guaranteed every time. An immense stock of
Clothing, enough to supply all, and at prices at
least one thing less than any other store.
This is no Hxixabag,
as thousands who have bought can testify. Ad
dress or call at the
YODEUKL
Bankrupt Giothing House.
110 Congress and 139 St. Julian Streets,
jan3l SAVANNAH, GA.
PREPARED AND SOLD ONLY BY
W. H. COTTER & CO.
W. 11. COTTER k CO’S.
Magnetic Laniment
Is an invaluable remedy in all cases of Rheuma
tism, Neuralgia, Chronic Pains, etc. It is also an
excellent application to all bruises.
W. n. COTTER & CO’S.
Cholera Mixture
Is a sure and speedy cure for all Bowel Affections
and Summer Complaints incidental to our climate.
These preparations are ouaranteed to give imme
diate relief, and should be kept in every family.
—FOR THE LADIES—
W. H. COTTER A CO’S.
Sewing Machine Oil
The Best Oil made for all fine machinery. apl9-tf
Garden Seed.
IWK HAVE ON HAND A SUPPLY OF FRHRH
I T Garden Seed, just received, consisting in
part of
BEETS, CABBAGE.
CARROTS, CUCUMBERS,
CELERY, EGGPLANT,
LETTUCE. OKRA,
ENGLISH PEAS.
BEANS, TOMATOES,
SQUASH, OYSTER PLANT.
EARLY CORN, PEPPER. Etc.
W. H. COTTER A CO..
Druggists tnd ApftthMarios.
DARIEN, GEORGIA, FRIDAY MORNING, JUNE 0, 1879.
“A Patch on Both Kueos, And Gloves on.”
IVhen I was a boy, it was my fortune to
breathe, for along time, what some writers
call the “bracing air of poverty.” My
mother—light lie the turf upon tlio form
which once enclosed her strong and gentle
spirit—was what is commonly called an
ambitious woman; for that quality which
overturns thrones and supplants dynasties
finds a legitimate sphere in the humblest
abode that tho shadow of poverty' ever
darkened. The struggle between the wish
to keep up appearances and tho pinching
gripe of indigence produced endless shifts
ana contrivances, at which, were they told,
some would smile, and mime, to whom
they would recall their own experiences,
would sigh. But let me not disturb that
veil of oblivion which shrouds from profane
eyes the liallowe*d mysteries of poverty:
On one occasion it was necessary to send
me upon an errand to a neighbor, in better
circumstances than ourselves, and before
whom it was necessary that I should bo
presented in the best possible aspect.
Great pains were accordingly taken to give
a smart appearance to my patched and
dilapidated wardrobe, and to cenccal the
rents and chasms which the envious tooth
of time had made in them; and, by the
way of throwing over my equipment a
certain savor and sprinkling of gentility,
my red and toil-hardened hands were en
clescd in the unfamiliar easing of a pair of
gloves, which had belonged to my mother
in days when her years were fewer and her
heart lighter.
I sailed forth on my errand, and on my
way encountered a much older and bigger
boy, wbo evidently belonged to a family
which had all our own dragging poverty
and none of our uprising wealth of spirit.
His rags fairly fluttered in the breeze; his
hat was constructed on the most approved
principle of ventilation; and his shoes,
from their venerable antiquity, might have
deemed a pair of fossil shoes—the very
ones on which Shorn shuffled into the .rk.
He was an imprudent varlet, with a dar
ing swagger in his gait and “I’m-as-good
as-you” leer in his eyes—the very whelp
throw a stone at a well-dressed home
man, because be was clean. As soon as
ho saw me, his eyes detected the practical
inconsistencies which characterized my
custume; and, taking me by the shoulders,
turning me round with no gentle hand,
ami surveying me from head to foot, ex
claimed, with a scornful laugh of derision:
“A patch on both kuess, and gloves on!”
I still recall the sting of wounded feeling
which shot through me at these words.
To parody a celebrated line of the immor
tal Tuscan: “That day I wore my gloves
no more.” But the lesson thus rudely en
forced sank deep into my mind; and in
after-life I have had frequent occasions to
make a practical application of the words
of my ragged friend, when I have observed
the practical inconsistencies which so
often mark the conduct of mankind.
When for instance I see parents carefully
providing for the ornamental education of
their children, furnishing them with
teachers in music, djincing, and drawing,
but giving no thought to moral and reli
gious training, from which true dignity
and permanent happiness of life alone can
come; never teaching them habits of self
sacrifice and self-discipline and control,
but rather by example instructing them
in evil speaking, in uncharitableness, in
envy and in falsehood, I think, with a
sigh, of the patch on both knees, and
gloves on. When I see a family in a cold,
selfish, solitude, not habitually warming
their houses with the glow of happy faces,
but lavishing that which should furnish
the hospitality of a whole year upon the
profusion of a single night, I think of the
patch on both knees, and gloves on. When
I see a house profusely furnished with
sumptuous furniture, rich curtains, and
luxurious carpets, but with no books, or
none but a few tawdry annuals. lam re
minded of the patch on both knees, and
gloves on. When I see public men culti
vating exclusively those qualities which
win a way to office, and neglecting those
which will qualify them to fill honorable
the post to which they aspire, I recall the
patch on both knees, and gloves on. When
I see men sacrificing peace of mind and
health of body to the insane pursuit of
wealth, living in ignorance of that charac
ter of tho children who are growing up
around them, cutting themselves ofl‘ from
the highest and purest pleasures of their
natures, and so perverting their humanity
that which was sought as a means insen
sibly comes to be followed as an end, I
say to myself: “A patch on both knees
and gloves on.” When I see thousands
squandered for selfishness and ostentation,
and nothing bestowed for charity; when I
see fine ladies, be-stained and be-jeweled,
cheapening the toils of dress-makers and
and with harsh works embittering the bit
ter bread of dependence; when I see tho
poor turned away from proud houses,
where the crumbs of tables would be to
them a feast, I think of the patch on both
knees, and gloves on.
Chinese books for girls consist chiefly of
exhortations to discharge all their duties as
daughters, wives, mothers, sisters and es
pecially daughters-in-law. If you go into
a Fekin book-shop to examine what books
are devoted to female training, you will
find a little volume called “Nu or ehing,”
which describes the daily routine of a girl’s
life before and after marriage. A larger
work is “The Girls Four Bookg,” in two
volumes. This contains the best results of
Chinese thinking on how the female mind
ought to be trained. The duties of daugh
ter, wife and mother are here explicitly
laid down and illustrated by example. The
boys have their Four Books, which they
read before the study of the Five Classics.
These were fixed upon in the Sung dynasty
seven hundred years ago.—Leisure Hour.
Church-Going.— Did you ever notice
what a small proportion of our people at
tend church? We have enough people
able to go to church to fill our churches
each Sabbath, and yet, empty benches often
discourage the preachers. Why so ? Can’t
we spare a couple of hours out of a hun
dred and siyty-eight ? Church going harms
no one. It gives the business man new
zeai, the lawyer new ideas, the farmer
hope, while to the weary and heart-sick, it
brings joy unspeakable. Try it next Sun
day, and you will find that during the
following week your business will have a
charm never experienced before; the
wheels of life will run without ajar, and
Saturday night will bring with it happini ss.
bom of eon scions dmy w 1 perfoimid.
Cartersviile Free Press."
Taffy.
What is taffy ? Something given, Undoubt
edly, and being disposed of in that man
ner, comparatively worthless.
When a young sport dons anew spring
suit and a high plug hat on a salary of
$5.75 per week, conveying the impression
that he is a scion of wealth, he is distribu
ting taffy,of a very mild and harmless form.
When the gentle and bewitching damsel
archly glances at you behind her fan, and
smiles so winsomely, have a care —she is
giving the most dangerous kind of taffy.
When animhilgent mother promises her
young hopeful a penny if ho will be a good
boy ail day long, it’s the same story, taffy—
he never gets the penny.
When a man tells you that he will square
up "that little account” to-morrow, ns he
expects remittances, he is giving you taffy,
and you know it at tho time.
When the grocer says that he sells the
purest Mocha live cents loss than anyone
else in the buiness, there is more taffy for
you, and you generally take it and a pound
of worst chicory mixture in the bargain.!!
When the fond and loving husband bids
his wife the sweetest of “good evenings,”
and tells her not to worry as he is only
going to the lodge, it is superlative taffy,
and she finds it out when she pulls a
strange initial handkerchief from his over
coat pocket next morning.
When a lady listens for a half hour to
the statement of a dry goods clerk who as
sures her that that is the latest piece of
goods out, fast colors, etc., she will dis
cover tho gift of taffy, when Mrs. Brown
confides to her that she is just making
over hist season’s dress of tho very same
goods, for mother. Here true anguish
tolloweth.
When you listen to tho schemes of a
speculator, who knows just where to put a
couple of thousand, how it will “pan out
for business,” exercise a little judgement
or you will bo relieved of your cash for
taffy received.
When the lawyer is certain that your
case is sure of an immediate hearing anil
will go through before any jury in the
land—legal taffy. It will take you four
years to push it through the courts, and
then you will lose the verdict, and your
property will be in “foe simple” to the
lawyer.
When a politician holds up the mirror
of the country’s future before you, tells you
all the virtue is on his side of the fence
and all the vico on the other, and that the
national fabric will “revolutionize to ruin”
unless his party holds the check reins, it
is impudent tatty, and he knows it better
than you do.
When a clergyman warns his flock of the
wrath to come in glowing rhetoric, although
it may be odorous of brimstone and an un
pleasant he reafter, you remember his smil
ing and bland manner of drawing an im
mense salary for tho warning, and are
more than half inclined to think that it is
boiling taffy, instead of seething sulphur,
and that he believes it to be so himself.
When an editor—well, editors have no
thing else to give; they arc obliged to give
taffy. *
An Eccentric Author. — Several new an
ecdotes of Charles Lamb are told in Mac
millan’s Magazine for March. One day
nn upopular head of a department in the
India house came to him and asked:
“Pray, Mr. Lamb, what nre you about?”
“Forty, next birthday,” said Lamb. "I
don't like your answer, ” said his chief.
“Nor I your question,” replied Lamb.
Lamb never carried a watch. One day a
friend, observing this, presented him with
anew one of gold. He accepted and car
ried it for one day. Soon afterward a
companion asked him where was his watch.
“Pawned,” said Lamb. Finding it in an
encumbrance he actually pawned it. Ono
day a friend asked him to go to a public
dinner. Lamb consented on condition that
the friend would see him safely home. The
dinner over, Lamb reminded liis friend of
the agreement. “But whore do you live?”
he was asked. “That’s your affair,” said
Lamb; “you undertook to see mo home and
I hold you to the bargain.” The friend
had a vague notion that Lamb lived at
Islington; he took a hackney coach and
started, trusting to inquiry to find the
house. Some hours were spent in the
search, but it succeeded at last. Lamb all
the time persistently and dryly refused to
give him the slightest clew.
A Drunkard's Brain. — Hyrit, by far tho
greatest anatomist of the age, used to say
that he could distinguish in the darkest
room, by one stroke of the seapel, the brain
of tho inebriate from that of a person who
lived sober. Now and then be could con
gratulate bis class upon the possession of a
drunkard’s brain admirably fitted, from its
hardness and more complete preservation,
for the purpose of demonstrating. When
the anatomist wishes to preserve a human
brain for any length of time he effects that
object by keeping that organ in a vessel of
alcohol. From a soft, pulpy substance, it
then becomes comparatively hard; but the
inebriate, anticipating (lie anatomist, lie
gins the indurating process before death
beings it while the brain remains the con
secrated temple of the soul—while its deli
cate and gossamer-like tissues stili throb
with tho pulse of heave” -born life. Strange
infatuation, thus to a- scerate the god
like ! Terrible enchantment, that dries up
all the fountains of generous feelings, pet
rifies all the tender humanities and sweet
charities of life, leaving only a brain of
lead and a heart of stone.—Scientific Ameri
can.
The Way to Cure Him.— Have you seen
him? He stands in the room with his
back to the stove, and tells how he could
run a newspaper; how he could be as in
dependent as a hog on ice, and call things
by their right names; how he would ex
pose corruption in high places; how he
would write good common sense, and
none of your frivolous, try-to-be-funny
stuff; how he would print a paper that
would have some life about it, some vari
ety and not so much sameness. Then he
criticises other people’s methods of con
ducting newspapers, and just wishes some
one would give him a chance to show his
journalistic ability. The way to cure ono
of these chaps is to get him to agree to
write a sensible article every day for a
week. Before the week is out be is sure
to be pumped dry, and will gape worse
for an idea than a chickt n ever did with
the pip. —Dalton Citizen.
Remember that civility costs nothing
and buys overs thing.
A Delightful Listener.
A good story is told of ex-Govemor Ma
goffin, of Kentucky, who is a good talker
and likes to do most of tho talking him
self. Recently, in making the journey
from Cincinnati to Lexington, he shared
his seat in the car with a bright-eyed,
pleasant-faoe gentleman. The Governor
after a few commonplace remarks, to which
his companion smiled and nodded assent,
branched into a description of the scenes
that he had witnessed >n different parts of
the country, grew eloquent over the war,
described with glowing speech the horse
races he lmd witnessed, talked learnedly
of breeding, and told thrilling stories of
his battles with the Indians' in the North
west. The hours slipped rapidly away, and
when tho train was near Lexington the
two exchanged cards and parted with a
cordial shake of the hands. Tho Governor
drove to an inn, and to a number of friends
he remarked that the ride had never seem
ed so short before.
“Then you must have had pleasant com
pany aboard.”
“You are right. I met a gentlemen of
unusual intelligence. We conversed all
tho way over. I never was brought in con
tact with a more agreeable man.”
“Indeed ! whowashe his friends.
“Wait a minute I have his card,” and
the Governor felt in his pockots, and pro
duced tho bit of pasteboard. “His name
is King.”
“Not Bob King?” shouted a dozen in
one breath.
“Yes, gentlemen; Robert King—that is
the way the card reads,” was tho proud re
ply-
A roar of laughter followed.
“Why, Governor, Bob King is as deaf as
a post. Ho was bom deaf and dumb.”
Women as Stone Throwers.— Tho prac
tice of a whole life, says an observant phi
losopher, will not enable a woman to throw
a stone with grace and accuracy. It was
ono of the first and most knotty phosiolog
ical problems which presented itself to our
youthful mind —why our big sister, when
she tried to throw a snowball at us almost
invariably sont it careening over the top
of the house, while we, in turn could pop
her in the ear almost every time. It may
be that we took a mean advantage of dis
crimination of nature in our behalf against
our sister, and it may be that we improved
the opportunity to take her fore and aft
whenever she came within firing distance.
But that is neither here nor there. As the
time passed on and we increased our stock
of observation, we saw tho other fellows’
sisters labored under about the same dis
advantages that ours did in the matter of
throwing any kind of missile. Why this
marked and unmistakable difference ex
isted we never learned until, at a somewhat
advanced period, we dove .into a book of
physiology, and learned that the clavicle,
or collar-bone, in tho anatomy of a female
is some inches longer and set some degrees
lower down than in the masculine frame.
This long, crooked, awkward bone inter
feres with tho full and free action of the
shoulder, and that’s the reason why a girl
cannot throw n stone. Tho design of this
sort of thing is still unxoplained to our en
tire satisfaction. Wo have developed a pet
theory of our own, however, that an all-wise
and benefioient Providence, forseeing that
there would bo rolling-pins, and stove
hooks, and potlids, and hot water in tho
world, set the woman’s clavicle down a
hitch or two for tho safety of men. It’s
lucky for all of us that women cannot
throw stones.—N. Y. Post.
Why nr. Didn't Buy the Mule.—ne was
showing the man the new bay mule that
ho was working in a team with the old
gray. “You warrant him sound, and per
fectly kind and gentle?” tho man said.
“Perfectly,” said farmer John. “My wife
and children drive him, and he is a perfect
pet. Comes into the house like a dog.”
“Easy to shoe?” asked the umn. “Well,
I guess so; fact is I never had him shod. I
don’t believe in it; he works better without
it,” said farmer John. “How does he act
when you put tho crupper on?” asked the
man. Farmer John hesitated. “Well,
pretty good, I guess,” he.said; “fact is, I
nover put it on. “How does it get on?”
asked the man; “who does put it on?”
“Well, 1 kind of don’t know,” said farmer
John; “fact is, lie had the harness on when
I got him, an’ it fit him so well, an’ he
seemed to ho so kind o’ contented in it,
like, that I sort of never took it off'n him.”
“And how long have you had him ?” asked
the man. Farmer John chewed a wheat
straw very meditatively. “Well,” he said
“not to exceed more’n two yoar, mebeo.”
And the man backed a little further away,
and said he would “sort of look around a
little further before he bought like.” And
Fanner John never saw him again, not
even unto this day.—Burlington Hawkoye.
An exchange makes the following point
ed observations concerning a class of per
sons familiar to every newspaper, we ap
prehend, that is now or ever lias been
published in this country: A man who
says he is not able to pay for liis paper,
ought to go at once to the county court
and have his wife appointed his guardian.
Remember that a newspaper is worth more
to a family than three month's school. A
family that no newspaper might as
well live in a hole in the ground. A fam
ily that takes a newspaper lives, as it were,
in a houRO set upon a hill from whose
windows ho can see all things going on in
the world. Friend, don’t say you are not
able to pay for your paper; say you don’t
like the paper, or say you would rather
live in ignorance, or declare that you do
not want your children to learn anything;
but don’t say you can’t pay—because to
say you can’t pay is to say that you are no
man, have no backbone, and ought to bo
in the county poor house.
Sawdust in Mortar. — Some time since
the use of sawdust in mortar was recom
mended as superior even to hair for the j
prevention of cracking and subsequent
peeling off of rough casing under the action !
of storms and frost. Someone of the name j
of Siehr says that liis own house, exposed
to prolonged storms on the soacoost, had ;
pieces of mortar to be renewed each spring; |
and after trying without effect a number i
of substances to prevent it, he found saw- j
dust perfectly satisfactory. It was first !
thoroughly dried, and sifted through an
ordinary grain sieve, to remove the larger
particles. The mortor wm; made by mix
ing one part of cement, two of lime, two
two of sawduct being first well mixed
dry with the cement and sand.
$2.50 A YEAR.
Proverbs for Subscribers.
"Awiseson rnaketh a glad fatbor/’and a
prompt-paving subscriber oauseth an edi
tor to laugn
“Folly is joy that is destitute of wisdom,"
but a delinquent subscriber causeth suffer
ing in the bouse of a newspaper maker.
“All the ways of a man are cloar in his
own eyes,” except tho way the delinquent
subscriber hath in not paying for his news
paper.
"Better is a little with righteousness,"
than a thousand subscribers who fail to
pay what they owe.
“A just weight and balance are tho
Lord’s,” but that which is due upon your
newspapers belong to tho publishers
’ thereof.
“Better is a dry morsel and quietness
therewith,” than a long list of subscribers
who cheat the printer.
“Bettor is the poor man that walketh in
integrity," and payoth his subscription,
than the rich man who continually telleth
your devil to call again.
“Judgments aro prepared for scoffers,
stripes for the backs of fools,” and everlast
ing punishment for him who payeth not
for his newspaper.
“Hope differred rnaketh the heart sick,”
is a proverb sadly realized by tho publisher
who sendeth out bills.
“A righteous man hatoth lying," henco
tho editor waxetb worth against the sub
scriber who promises to call and settle on
the morrow, yet calloth not to settlo.
“It biteth like a serpent and stingeth
like an adder, ” when the adder gets through
adding up tho amounts due from his subs.
Samis of Hold.
Timidity is a fault dangerous to repre
hend in those wo would reform.
The more we help others to bear their
burdens the lighter our own will bo.
People seldom improve when they have
no other model hut themselves to improve
after.
Benefit your friepds that they may lovo
you still more dearly; benefit your ene
mies that they becomo your friends, is an
old Arabian maxim worth cultivating.
It require*; more magnanimity to give
up wliat is wrong than maintain what is
right; for our pride is wounded by the
ono effort, and flattered by tho other.
Good fume is like fire. When you have
kindled it, you may easily preserve it;
but if you once extinguish it, you will not
easily kindle it again, at least not to make
it burn eo brightly as u did.
The petty vexations of human life are
like importunate beggars, if you treat
them kindly, they call again; but if you
spurn them from your door, they will
very likely soon cease to trouble you.
To rise early is so truly the ono thing
needful for all who are candidates for tho
three great prizes - health, wealth and
wisdom -that it is the only sure founda
tion for securing any chance for obtaining
either of them. The sooner you leave your
bed, tho seldomer you will be confined to
it.
“Let the Mud Dry First.”—Hero is a
capital lesson that may well bo impressed
upon the memory of both young and old:
Mr. Spurgeon, in walking a little way out
of London to preach, chanced to get his
pantaloons quite muddy. A good deacon
met him at the door and desired to get a
brush and take off sorao of the mud. “Oh,
no,” said Mr. 8., “don’t you see it is wet,
and if you try to brush it now, you will
rub tho stain into tlio cloth ? Let it dry,
when it will come off easy enough ami
leave no mark.” So, when men speak
evil of us falsely—throw mud at us—don’t
be in a hurry about brushing it off. Too
greater eagerness to rub it off, is apt to rub
in. Lot it dry; by and by, if need bo, a
little effort will remove it. Don’t foster
scandall about yourselves or others, or
trouble in a society, or in a ohurch, by
haste to do something. Let it alone; lot it
dry; it will be easier eradicated than you
think in the first, heat of excitement. Time
has a wonderful power in such matters.
Very many things in this world will bo
easily got over by judiciously “letting
them dry.”—From American Agriculturist
for April.
A Boy’s llaud Sunday.— Tlie hood of a
boy ten years old might havo been seen
sticking through a piclcet-fenco on Beau
bien street Sunday evening as a loud “yan
hoo !” signal was given to someone in the
house. A lad of thereabouts finally open
ed the door and came out and asked:
“Is that you, Jim ? What ycr want ?”
“I didn’t see ye down whc.ro wo was
riding on cakes of ice in the ship," re
plied the other. •
“I know you didn’t. This has bin the
hardest Sunday I over put in on earth.”
“Dad sick'i”
“No; dad is in Saginaw, but ma'm got
some gold in her front teoth yesterday,
and she was bound to go to church to-day
if it killed her. I had to run all over town
and borrow things for her and then stuy
at home and take care of sis.”
"Is it real gold, Jim V”
“I guess so, for she went in the morn
ing, then in the afternoon to a lecture, an’
slio’s now getting ready for tho evening
sermon, and practicin’ on shovin' her
three front toetli. lam going to run away
as soon as grass starts TANARUS” —Detroit Free
Press.
To Destroy House Flies.— Amongst
“the miseries of human life,” during the
warm seasons of the year, may bo reckoned
the ticking, and buzzing, and obstructive
familiarities of the common house hies. A
correspodent of a British newspaper tells
us how to destroy tho posts. He says: “Pour
a little simple oxvmol (an article sold by
druggists) into a common glass tumbler,
and place in the glass u piece of cap paper,
made into tho shape of the- upper part of a
funnel, with a hole in the bottom to admit
the ilies. Attracted by the smell, they
readily enter the trap in swarms, and, by
the thousands soon collected, prove that
thoy have not the wit or disposition to re
turn. I recommend this plan with confi
dence, for I have already destroyed great
numbers.”
A young woman who had never learned'
the gentle art of cookery, being desirous
of impressing her husband with her knowl
edge and dilligence, manages to have the
kitchen door ajar on the day after their
return from the bridal trip, and just as
her lord comes in from the office exclaims
loudly: “Hurry up, Eliza, do! Haven’t
you whshert the lettuce yrt? Il.ro, give
if to me: wlieraV. the coop