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Dari en Timber Gazette. VOL. 7.-NO. 30. Darien Timber Gazette, PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY MORN IN®, ,i t D.wiEjr, aeo na /j, CORNER BROAD AND NORTHWAY STREETS. RICHARD W. GRUBB, Editor and Proprietor. SUBSCRIPTION BATES : For one year (in advance) $2.50 For six months “ I- 60 CLUB RATES: Five copies, each one year Ten copies, each one year 1.00 ADVERTISING RATES : Per square ten lines space, first insertion.... $1.50 Per square, each subsequent insertion 1.00 Special Racks to Yearly and Labor Advbbtisebs Advertisements from responsible parties will bo published uutil ordered out, whou the time is not specified on the copy, and payment exacted ac- C °Communications for individual benefit, or of a personal character, charged as advertisements Marriages and obituary notices not exceeding four lines solicited for publication. When ex ceeding that space, charged as advertisements. Bills for advertisements due upon presentation after the first insertion, but a spirit of commercial liberality will be practiced toward regular patfous. To avoid any misunderstanding the above rules will be adhered to without deviation. All letters and communications should De ail dressed to the Timber Gazette, Darieu, Georgia. City Directory. " ' COUNTY OFFICERS. County Commissioners— Jamas Walker, Chairmau; Adam Strain, Isaac M. Aiken, J. A. Atwood, I. H. OiKiiiili* l . James E. Holmes, Joseph Hiltou. Clerk Board of County Commissioners —Spalding Kenan. _ _ _ . Clerk Superior Court—L. B. Davis. Ordinary —O. H. Hopkins, Sr. Sheriff —T. Butler Blonnt. Ri'eeioer Ta Return*— W. MeW. Young. Tux Collector— O. C. Hopkins. County Treasurer —M. C. O'Neil. County Surveyor —W. R. Foppel. Coroner— Philip Maxwell. The Comnxisaionera hold monthly meetings on the first Wednesday in each mouth. CITY OFFICERS. Ex-Otiscio mayor— James Walker. Ex-OlheiQ Aldermen —Joseph Hilton, J. A. Atwood, Adam Strain. J. E. Holmes, Thomas H. Gignilliat, Isaac M. Aiken. BTAKDiaa OOMMITTKES. Committee on Finance— Messrs. Strain, Atwood on AetounU— Messrs. Holmes, Oignil liat and Aikon. , iv „_ Committee on Htrhnr —Messrs. Hdton, -Aiken Committee on Health and Cemetery— Messrs. Gignil- Atwood, Holmes an CoST~ Jail —Messrs. Aiken, Hilton and on Streets and Land- Messrs. Aiken, Strain and Holmes. Committee on County Boods-Messrs. Atwood, Gignilliat and Hilton. Committee on Public Buildings- Messrs. Strain, Gignilliat, and Aiken. ~,,,1 Committee on I‘olice— Messrs. Holmes, Hilton an l ' Committee on Ordinances— Mossrs. Aiken, Strain and Atwood. Clerk and Treasurer— Spalding Kenan. City Marshal —Charles H. Hopkms, Jr. Deputy Marshal —Alonzo Guyton. Harbor Master —.lames Abeol. l‘ort Ph.yMd.an— Dr. James Holmes. Inspector General of Timber-Otorge W. Faries Port Wardens —Isaac M. Aiken, Juhn H. Burrell, and James G. Young. Jailer —Charles H. Hopkins, Jr- . Board Pilot Commissioner*—Charles 8. Ln„don, Chairman, K. K. Walker. W. C. Clark, Arthur Bai ley, Dr. B. B. Harris, James Lachlison and Rolit. Mitchell. Win. E. Gignilliat, Secretary. MASONIC. Live Oak Lodge, No. 137, meets first Wednesday night in each month at their hall near the > lia House; H. S. Ravenel, Worshiptul Master; R. W. Grubb, Secretary UNITED STATES OFFICERS. Collector of Customs, Brunswick District— John 1. Collins. Headquarters at Brunswick. Deputy Collector of Customs for Pori of Darien Charles H. Townsend. Inspector —Edwin C. Davis. Postmaster —D. Webster Davis. Deputy Marshal —Joseph 13. Bond. SUPERIOR COURT—EASTERN CIRCUIT. Hon. Win. B. Fleming, Judge. Major A. B. Smith, Solicitor General. Bulloch County—Thursday before first Mondays in April and October. , Effingham County—First Mondays m April and October. . ~ , Bryan County—Thursdays after first Mondays in April and October. Chatham County—Second Mondays in February, May and October. Mclntosh County—Tuesdays after last Mondays in April and October. , Liberty County—Tuesday after second Mondays in May and October. UNITED STATES MAILS. The mails arrive from Sterling, No. 1, Macon a*: Brunswick Railroad, every morning (Sunday ex cepted) at 10 o’clock a. m., departing every after noon at 3p. m. Mail closes at 1% p. m - . Side mail for No. 3, Atlantic & Gulf Railroad, departs B>£ o’clock every Tuesday morning and arrives at 8 p. m. every Monday, touching at Riceboro and South Newport both ways. RELIGIOUS. Religious services at the Methodist Church every Sunday morning at 11 oclock, and evening at 8 o’clock. School at the Ridge every Sunday afternoon at 3>£ o’clock. Rev. H. E. Harman, pas tor. Religious services every Sabbath at 11 a. m. and 3p. m. at the Methodist Church, colored, Rev. L. H. Smith, pastor. WTO f 11,000 A YEAR, or *5 to S2O a day in your own locality. Mo risk. Women do as well as men. Many make more than the amount stated above. No one ’ can fafl to make money fast. Any one can do the work. You can make trom t>o cts. to $2 an hour by devoting your evenings and spare time to the business. It costs nothing t© try the business. Nothing like it ever offered before. Business pleasant and strictly honorable. Header, if you want to know all about the best paying business before the public, send us your address and we will send you full particulars and private terms free; samples worth $5 also free, you ran then make up your mind for yourself. Address GEORGE STINSON k GO., Portland, xrfe. june 20 Garden Seed. WE HAVE ON HAND A SUPPLY OF FRESH " Garden Seed, just received, consisting in part of BEETS, CABBAGE, CARROTS, CUCUMBERS, CELERY, EGGPLANT, LETTUCE. OKRA, ENGLISH PEAS, BEANS, TOMATOES. SQUASH, OYSTER PLANT, EARLY CORN, PEPPER, Etc. W. H. COTTER & CO., Dmjrgtfti'ahd Apothecaries. Professional Cards. yy ALTER A. WAY, Attorney-at-Law and Real Estate Agent, DARIEN, GEORGIA. Will practice in the Superior Courts of the Brunswick and Eastern Circuits. Also, in the Federal Courts in cases of Bankruptcy, etc. Par ticular attention given to the collection of claims and the examination of land titles. april2s yy ROBERT GIGNILLIAT, Attorney-at-Law, DARIEN, GEORGIA. Prompt attention given to all logal business in the Eastern and Brunswick Circuits, and in the United States Courts at Savannah, Georgia. april2s-ly IE. b. Delorme, -J • Attorney & Counselor-at-Law, and Notary Public. DARIEN, GEORGIA. Office on Broad street, near Timber Exchange. July 2 Jfyil. SPALDING KENAN, DARIEN, GEORGIA. Offers his professional services to the citizens of Darien and vicinity. He can be found at all hours day and night, at his office on Screven street, next door to Mr, Wilcox's dwelling house. angß-ly Jjll. It. B. HARRIS Offers his professional services to the citizens of Darien anil surrounding country. All calls prompt ly attended, both medical and surgical. Office under the Masonic Hall, in old Custom House building. J J. ABRAMS, Attorney-at-LaW, Commercial Building, ,jnno6-tf SAVANNAH, GEORGIA. IIKNRY B. TOMPKINS. B. A. DENMARK. rpOMPKINS & DENMARK, Attorneys-at-Law, No. 105 Bay Street, SAVANNAH, GA. Practice in the United States Courts, and in the Superior Courts of the Eastern Circuit. je6-tf Miscellaneous. LOOK OUT. HOYT’S COLOGNE, CORNING’S COLOGNE, JiUBIN’S EXTRACTS, POMADES, HAIR OIL, TOILET POWDER, LILLY WHITE, PUFF BOXES, ROUGE, TOILET SETS, And in fact, a full assortment of Perfumery and Fancy Toilet Articlos. Soaps—toilet, laundry and medicated. Give us a call, W. H. COTTER & CO., feb22-tf Druggists and Apothecaries. Wheelwright ami HlacksHiitli I AM NOW PREPARED TO DO ALL KINDS of Wheelwright and Blacksmith work at Short notice. BUGGIES, WAGONS AND SIGNS PAINTED. Gorham's Patent Attachment for shafts (a great saving of time and money to all who use them) are kept on hand. . , ... All kinds of work done in first-class style. All I ask of the people of Darien and Mclntosh County is a trial. All work warranted. J ROBERT MITCHELL, jeG-tf Second street, Darien, Ga, satSPrlTrSl A limited number of Mm In I rl I active, energetic canvassers to ? S“! i a I™ U engage in a pleasant and profitable business. Good men will find this a rare chance TO MAKE MONEY. Snoh will please answer this advertisement by letter, enclosing stamp for reply, stating what business they have been engaged in. None but those who mean business apply. Address je'2o-ly. Finley, Harvey & Cos., Atlanta, Ga. fH AfS A v MONTH guaranteed. sl2 a day I]! I 11 81 lit home made by the industrious. \ s|l|| I Capital not required; we will start I 881 9 19 |y°u. Men, women, boys and girls V? wrnake money faster at work for us * than anything else. The work is light and pleasant, and such as anyone can go right at. Those who are wise who see this notice will send us their addresses at once and see for themselves. Costly outfit and terms free. Now is the time. Those already at work are laying up large sums of money. Address TRUE A CO., Augusta, Me. june2o-ly Col lilt Brothers. Perform Their Promise New Inducements to the Purchasing Public! Drives in Every Department! Drives from the Jobbers ! 1 Special Drives from our Buyers ! 1! Solid Fact! Solid Fact] Savannah Prices in Darien. In Groceries, Hardware, Wood & Willow Ware- Crocket, Stoves, Glassware, Sadlery. Tip; OFFER SPECIALITIES IN DRY GOODS and Blankets. Shoos of all grades,in pegged ma chine and hand sewed. W keep in stock a fine selection of Ladios and Gents hand-made Boots and Shoes. Wo are offering the finest line of Gents FURNISHING GOODS. Clothing, Hats, Trunks, Valices, which we carry in endless variety and constantly receive from Nortnern markets only. Thanking you for past favors and saUciting a continuance of the same, we arc yours, aW .tf. COLLAT BROTHERS. DARIEN, GEORGIA, FRIDAY EVENING, JANUARY Hi, 1880. Administrator’s Sale. FIRST TUESDAY IN FEBRUARY, 1880. WILL BE SOLD BEFORE THE COURT HOUSE door iu Darien, on the flrst Tuesday iu Feb ruary, 1880, 300 acres of Rice laud—ouce under cultivation, a portion now cultivated, and known as Siilon on Cat Head Creek. Also, ‘2,000 acres of pine land adjoining said rice plantation; at the same time and place the Joiner Ridge tract con taining 1190 acres; Also Lewis Islands, opposite, formed by Lewis Creek and the Altamaha river, containing 1,300; Also, the adjoining mainland be tween Lewis Creek and the Bariugton road, con taining 1,200 acres, more oriels, All the above lands near Darien, will be sold in a body or in par cels without resurvey according to description in the titles,being property of estate ot B. King, and sold for partition. Terms one-fourth cash and balance on time with interest and approved secur ities; purchasers paying for titles. C. B. KING, (Uv2T-M. Administrator. Mlntosh Sheriff Tax Sale. FIRST TUESDAY IN FEBRUARY, 1880. WILL BE SOLD BEFORE THE COURT HOUSE door, iu the city of Darien, county of Mcln tosh, State of Georgia, betweeu the legal hours of sale, on the First Tuesday iu February, 1880, the same being the 3d day of the month, the follow ing described property, or so much thereof as will be sufficient to satisfy a tax fi. fa. due the State and county, for the year 1879 vs. W. C. Tink er. Upon all of that certain lot in the city of Da rien,county ot Mclrtosh,and State of Georgia,and known iu the plan of said city as lot number 12, bounded on ibe north by lane,south by Turnbull street, east by lot No. 1, and west by Frauklyn street. Levied on as the property of W. C. Tink er. Levy made by O. C. Hopkins, Tax Collector, and turned over to T. B. Blount, Sheriff. Terms of sale cash, purchaser paying for titles. T. B. BLOUNT, jan2. Sheriff of Mclntosh county, Ga. Mclntosh Sheriff’s Tax Sale. FIRST TUESDAY IN FEBRUARY, 1880. WILL BE SOLD BEFORE THE COURT HOUSE door, In the city of Darieu, county of Mcln tosh, State of Georgia, between the legal hours of sale, on the First Tuesday in February, 1881), the following described property, or eo much thereof as will be sufficient to satisfy a tax fi. fa. due the State and county for the year 1879 vs. Stephen Ba ker: Upon all of those certain lots in the city of Darien, county of Mclntosh.State of Georgia, and known iu the plan of said city as lots No. 254 and 278 and bonded on the north by Fifth street on the east by Clark street,and on the south by fourth street,and on the west by lots 253 and 259; levied on as the property of Stephen Baker. Levy made by O. C. Hopkins, Tax Collector, and turned over to T. B. Blount, Sheriff. Terms of sale cash, purchaser's paying for titles. T. B. BLOUNT, jau2. Sheriff Mclntosh county, Ga. Mclntosh Sheriff’s Sale. FIRST TUESDAY IN FEBRUARY, 1880. WILL BE SOLD BEFORE THE COURT-HOUSE door, in the City of Darien, county of Mcln tosh, State of Georgia, between the legal hours of sale, on the First Tuesday in February, 1880, the same being the 3d day ol the month, all of that cer tain tract of land being in the 271st district G. M., of said county, and state, containing 400 acres more or less, bounded on the north by lands of W. C. Wylly, on the oast by Salt Marsh, on the west by Cow Horn road and on the south by lands of Hopkins and unknown lauds. Levied on as the property of Thomas S. Wylly. Levied on under and by virtue of a fi. fa. issued out of the Superior Court of Mclntosh county in favor of L. Eckman. Property pointed out by plaintiff in li. fa. Terms of sale cash, purchaser paying lor titles. T. B. BLOUNT, jan2. Sheriff of Mclntosh County, Ga. Letters of Administration. GEORGIA—McIntosh County: rilO ALL WHOM IT MAY CONCERN—WHERE JL as Robert P. Paul, of said county and State, applies to the Ordinary for letters of administra tion on the estate of Charles A. Davis, deceased, late of said county and State. These are there fvre to cite and admonish all and singular the kin dred and creditors of said deceased, to be and ap pear at my office within the time prescribed by law, and show’ cause (if any they have) why letters of administration on the estate of said deceased should not issue to the applicant. Given under my hand and official signature, this Ist day of January, 1880. jan2, C. H. HOPKINS, Ordinary. Letters of Administration. GEORGIA—McIntosh County: rpo ALL WHOM IT MAY CONCERN—WHERE- J- as Adam Strain, of said county and State, has applied to the Ordinary of said county for letters of administration upon the estate of Converse Parkliurst, late of the State of Florida, deceased. These are shcrefore to cite and admonish all and singular the kindred and creditors of said deceased to be and appear at my office and show cause (if any they have) on or before the first Monday in February next, why letters of administration on the estate of said deceased should not issue to the applicant Given under my hand and official signature this Ist day of January, 1880. jau 2. C. H. HOPKINS, Ordinary. Singer Sewing Machine. JULIA CLARKE HAVING SECURED the agency for the genuine and old reliabio Sin ger Sewing Machine, is now prepared to serve all those who are in need of the best machine that is made, and at very reasonable prices. Mrs. Clarke is also acting in Darien for Messrs. Ludden & Bates music store, Savannah, and will be pleas ed to take orders for any thing in their line. Give her a call opposite Mr. Reuben Walker’s offi es. Darien, Ga., December 2fith, 1879. The Best Agricultural Journal Published in the South.” THE SOUTHERN mm mi. A LARGE QUARTO ot 32 pages, handsomely print ed, filled with choice read ee p -V'."ACy, ing of interest to the far mer, with an illustrated P* '-i-' v r .•teikiTj* fashion department tortile tC <Sladies. *2 a year *Ya >1 vear. Sample copy IS cents. Address; j. H. ESTILL, 3 Whitaker street, Savannah, Ga. Vx ,;i y, rope ot "The Savannah Weekly Xews,” a mam tn H-nige, newsi*xper, or of hie "Daily Morning .\ s ” d,e leading 'doily ot the Soulhesist. sent on ■ ! <'anif). AiLtress as above SOUTH. SOUTH. PULASKI HOUSE, SAVANNAH GEORGIA. GOODSELL BROS., PROPRIETORS. rpHrS HOUSE IS NOW OPEN FOR THE RECET>- 1 tion of guests. It has been thoroughly ren ovated, and is now being extensively repaired. Liberal arrangements made with weekly boaders. bfiUDsKLL BKON., nov2l-tf. Proprietors. THE SUN FOR 1880. The Sun will deal w ith the events of tbe year 1880 in its own fashion, now pretty well under stood by everybody. From January 1 until Decem ber 31, will be conducted as a newspaper, written in the English language, and printed for the people. Asa newspaper. The Sun believes iu getting all the news of the world promptly, and presenting it in the most intelligable shape—the shape that will enable its readers to keep well abreast of the age with the least unproductive expenditure of time. The greatest interest to the greatest num bor—that is, the law controlling its daily make-up. It now has a circulation much larger than any other American newspaper, and enjoys an income which is at all times prepared to spend liberally for the benefit ol its readers. Peoplo of all condi tions of life and all ways of thinking buy and read The Sun; and they all derive satisfaction of some sort from its columns, for they keep on buying and reading it. In its comments on men aud affairs, The Sun be lieves that the only guide of policy should be common sense, inspired by genuine American principles aud backed by honesty of purpose. For the reason it is, aud will continue to be, absolute ly independent of party, class, clique, organiza tion, or interest. It is for all, but of none. It will continue to praise w hat is good and reprobate what is evil, taking care that its language is to the point and plain, beyond the posibility of being misunderstood. It is uninfluenced by motives that do not appear on the surface; it has no opin ions to sell, save those which may be had by any purchaser for two cents. It hates injustice and rascality even more than it hates unnecessary words. It abhors frauds, pities fools, aud de plores nincompoops of every species. It will con tinue throughout the year 1880 to chastise the flrst cl ibs, instruct the second, and discountenance the third. All honest men with honest convic tions, whether sound or mistaken are its friends. And The Sun makes no bones of telling the truth to its friends and about its friends whenever occa sion arises for plain speaking. These are the principles upon which The Sun will be conducted during the year to come. The year 1880 will be one in which no patriotic American can afford to close his eyes to public af fairs. It is impossible to exaggerate the impor tance of the political events which it has in store, or the necessity of resolute vigileuce on the part of every citizen who desires to preserve the Gov ernment that the founders gave us. The debates and acts of Congress, the utterances of the press, the exciting contest of the Republican and Demo cratic parties, now nearly equal in strength throughout the country, directly aud effectively upon the twenty-fourth Presidential election, to be held in November. Four years ago next Nov ember the will of the nation, as expressed at the polls, was thwarted by an abominable conspir acy, ami promoters and beneficiaries of which still hold the officers they hold. Will the crime of 1870 be repeated in 1880 ? The past decade of years opened with a corrupt, extravagant, and insolent Administration intrenched at Washington. The Sun did something townril dislodging the gang and breaking its power. The same men are now intriguing to restore their leader and themselves to places from whence they were driven by the indignation of the people. Will they succeed ? The coming year will bring the answer to these mo mentous questions: The Sun will be on hand to chronicle the facts as they are developed, and to exhibit them clearly and fearlessly in their rela tions to expediency aud right. Thus, with a habit of philosophical good humor in looking at the minor affairs of life, and in great things a steadfast purpose to maintain the rights of the people and the principles of the Constitu tion against all aggressors, The Sun is prepared to write a truthful, instructive, and at the same time entertaining history of 1880. Our rates of subsentions remained unchanged. For the Daily Sun, a four-paged sheet of twenty eight columns, the price by mail, post-paid, is cents a month, or a year; or, including the Sunday paper, an eight-paged sheet of fifty-six columns,the price is <. cents a month, or #7 a year, postage paid. The Sunday edition of The Sun is also furnish ed seperately at £1 20 a year, postage paid. The price of the Weekly Sun, eight pages, fifty six columns, is #1 a year, postage paid. For clubs of ten sending $lO we will send an extra copy free. Address I. W. ENGLAND, Publisher of Tin Sun, New York City. THE ATLANTA CONSTITUTION. During the coming year—a year that will witness the progress and culmination of the most interesting political contest that has ever taken place in this country—every citizen and every thoughtful person will be compelled to relv upon the newspapers for information. Why not get the best? Abroad The Constitution is recognized, referred to and quoted from as the leading Southern Journal —as the organ and vehi cle of the best Southern thought and opinion— and at home its columns are consulted for the latest news, the freshest comment, and for all matters of special and current interest. The Con stitution contains more and later telegraphic news than any other Georgia paper, and this par ticular feature will be largely added to during the coming year. All its facilities for gathering the latest news from all parts of the country will be enlarged and supplemented. The Constitution is both a chronicler and commentater. Its edito rial opinions, its contributions to the drift of cur rent discussion, iis humorous and satirical par agraphs, are copied from one end of the country to the other. It aims always to be the brightest and the best—newsy, original and piquant. It aims particularly to give the news impartially and fully, and to keep its readers informed on tho drift of current discussion by liberal but concise quo tations from all of its contemporaries. It aims, in short, to more than ever deserve to be known as "the leading Southern newspaper.” Bill Arp will continue to contribute his unique letters, which grow in savory humor week by week. “Old Hi” will add his quaint fun to the collection of good things, and “Uncle Remus” has in preparation a series of negro myth legends, illustrating tho iolk lore of the old plantation. In every respect The Constitution for 1880 will be better than ever. The Weekly Constitution is a carefully edited compendium of the news of the week and con tains the best and freshest matter to be found in any other weekly from a daily office. Its news and miscellaneous contents are the freshest and its market reports the latest. THE SOUTHERN CULTIVATOR. This, the best, the most reliable and most popu lar of southern agricultural Journals is issued from the printing establishment of The Constitu tion. It is still edited by Mr. W. L. Jones, and is devoted to the best interests of the farmers of the South. It is sent at reduced rates with the week ly edition of The Constitution. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. Daily Constitution $lO 00 a year. .. “ 5 00 six months. .< < 2 50 three months Weekly Constitution 1 50 a year. •• <■ 1 00 six months. <• “ Clubs of 10, 12 50 a year. “ “ Clubs of 20, 20 00 Southern Cultivator 1 50 “ •< “ Clubs of 10, 12 50 •< << Clubs of 20, 20 00 ” Weekly Constitution and Cul tivator to same address 2 50 for one year. Address THE CONSTITUTION, Atlanta, Ga. ANNOUNCEMENT. \XTE FEEL GRATEFUL TO OUR MANY YV friends and customers for their liberal pat ronage during the past year, and we have entered anew year with the determination to deserve a larger share of their trade. We do not keep cheap drugs, but sell a GOOD AND PURE AIITR LE Of MEDICINE as low as it can be sold. Remember that we have constantly in stock a lull assortment of PURE MEDICINES, PAINTS, OILS, VARNISHES, PATENT MEDICINES of all kinds, HAIR DYES. HAIR OILS, HAIR BRUSHES, TOOTH BRUSHES, And the best article of No. 1 KEROSENE OIL at lowest prices. Prescriptions carefully compounded night or dSy ‘ W. H. COTTER A CO., feb22-tf Druggists and Apothecaries. For Rent. rjMiE DWELLING HOUSE FORMERLY OCCU uied by Mr. Joseph B. Bond is offered for rent. Apply to the HILTON TIMBER A LUMBER CO. Darien, Ga., October 31,1876. A Private Secretary’s Mistake. Mark Twain’s latest production is a let ter giving liis opinion of private secreta ries, in which he sits down rather hard up on Mr. Kirhv, private secretary to Post master General Key. The letter lias caus ed a great deal of amusement among Mr. Kirby’s associates in the post-office, and that gentleman feels very much torn up in consequence, and probably will not be anxious to tackle the subject again at least not for some time. Some days ago Mr. Kirby took occasion to write a letter to Mr. Clemens in which he had the tenerity to criticise some comments made by that gentleman upon a recent order of the post office department. Mr. Kirby felicitously inclosed a tract issued by the post-office department, saying that “it was to meet just such hardened cases as yours; and I also send you a copy of the postal laws, and hope you will take the trouble to look into the matter thoroughly.” It seems by the letter received in reply that Mr. Clem ents did look into the matter thoroughly, and Mr. Kirby thinks now that he made too searching a study of it. Among oth er things in his ‘letter Mr. Clements says: My callow friend, when you shall have outgrown the effervesence of youth, and ac quired a bit of worldly experience you will cease to make mistakes like that. That is you will recognize the simple wisdom of minding your own business. You seem to think you have been called to account. This is a great error. It is the post-office department of the United States that has been called into account. There is a dif ference here which you seem to have over looked. I will point it out. You are not the post-office department, but only an ex pensive.and unnecessary appendage to it. Grave, elderly public instructors like me do not call private secretaries to account. The mistake you have made is simple; you imagined yourself the dog whereas you are only the tail. Y T ou endeavored to wag the dog. This was injudicious. You should have hung quiscent until the dog wagged you. You seemed to have gather ed the impression, somehow, that you are a member of the cabinet. This is an error. Your chief is one of the guns of that bat tery; you are not. You are not a gun, or a load, or even a ramrod; neither do you supply ammunition; you only servo as a stick to fire it off. You are not a barrel of molasses, ’but only the faucet through which the molasses is discharged. You are not a boot, hut a bootjack. Do you perceive? The thing I am trying to convey to you is that it does not become you to assume functions that do not belong to you. The newspaper slip which you inclosed to me I will return by one of my private sec retaries. I keep eleven of these things, not for use, hut for display. Speaking of the envelope in which Mr. Kirby’s letter was enclosed, Mark says: You, an unofficial private citizen, have written me an entirely personal letter, en closed in an envelope bearing uponitssur face in plain print the warning: “A pen alty of S3OO is fixed by law for using this envelope for other than official business.” The servants of the government ought to he, for decency’s sake, among the last to break its laws. You have committed an offense with no elements of a joke about it and if your superior does his duty he im pose the penalty involved. As far as lam concerned you are sale, but il you intrude upon me again I may he tempted to bring you before the courts for violation ot law. There, now, receive my blessing. Go and do not mix in other people’s business any more; otherwise you may pick up some body who will feed you disagreeable words instead of sugar. Perils of Housekeeping. Have yon paid the milk bill ? The coal is out. The stove wants fixing. My night-key is broken. That front door bell-wire is loose, and the bell won’t ring. Get some fresh meat. That cat hason’t had anything fresh for nearly two days. She won’t eat cooked meat. The poker is broken. Get some screw hooks for the cupboard. We must buy anew clothes-line. The salt is out. Mem : Mark’s last butter was had. Must buy somewhere else. The iceman has raised the price of ice, and he leaves dreadfully small pieces at that, Get some wire. Ditto oxalic acid. Ditto bug powder. Ditto a nutmeg grater. Ditto some nutmegs. Shall we buy anew palor carpet? The old one is fading. Want anew tin stewpan. The teapot leaks. Send for furniture man, and find out how much he asks for re-covering the sofa. Buy anew market basket. The old cat has four kittens. How many shall we drown? We suspect our hired girl of stealing the tea. The last half pound went very quick. Schnapps the grocer, will persist in giv ing us coffee which has lost its flavor. Change him. Somebody has stolen the ash-box again. Fifth in three weeks. Get a paper of carpet tacks. Mrs. Doc borrowed our tack hammer a month ago, and has never returned it. Our canary bird is sick. Buy a ball of twine. Ditto six small screws. Ditto a hatchet. The iceman forgot us to-day. Get some naptha. Out of soap. The water pipe leaks again. Send plum ber. The cat persists in carrying her kittens all over the house and won’t stay in the nursery soap box we fixed for her. Out of matches. Ditto lamp chimneys. She wants some worsted three shads darker the last lot but one, and one shade lighter than the last lot. A strolling theatrical company was at the dinner-table. A waiter approached one of the members, and said: “Soup?” “No, sir,” said tbe person addressed: “I am one of the musicians.” Sleeping-car conduct rs should give a fat man a wide berth. $2.50 A YEAR. His First Drunk. “I am GO years old, and never got drunk till day before yesterday.” remarked old Uncle Jesse White, as he sat on a salt bar rel, iu front of a grocery store. I have lived iu Arkansas for forty years, cum here from East Tennessee, and the thought that I got drunk in the evening of my life, when I can just see my gray hairs shining in the twilight, is enough to make me throw myself into the river.” “Tell us how it occurred Uncle Jesse’” asked a bystander. “Well, sometime ago, up in my neigh borhood,” and he stopped talking and drew his pipe vigorously to see if the fire was out, “a Good Templar’s Lodge was organized. All the young people in the community jined, and pretty soon they come after me. My son Ike, was the lead in' man, and he says to me, Pap, I want yon to jine this thing. Ike, says I, I don’t know the taste of liquor, and I don’t sec the use of jinin.’ Pap, says he, we want your ihlluence. We are gwine to vote the local option law pretty soon, and we want you publicly identified with the work. Then my daughter Susan, sho comes around and begged me to jine. Susan, says I, you never seed 3’ our old lather take a drink. No, pap, says she, but we want you to help us frown down the curse ot intemperance. Next our parson eamo round and sot my wife on rue, and when they all got to drummin’ I had to jine. I jined on a Friday night, and on the fol lowing Saturday I got on the boat to come down here. Somethin’ ailed me. Some thin’ kept sayin,’ Jesse White you ain’t a free man. It bothered me, and when I saw one of the deck hands turn up a jug I wondered if he had aver taken the pledg, and when he had set the jug down I walk ed around aud looked at it, and took hold of the corn cob stopper, walked away and smelt my fingers. I went upon dock and sat down in front. Pretty soon two men come out and sit down. After awhile one of them remarked: “The Governor of South Carolina, to the Governor of North Carolina, and without finishing the sen tence, both nun laughed and drank out of a big black bottle. Thar was somethin’ in that Governor business that took me. I had heard my father talk about it and laugh. I had often heard it, but no ono had ever been positive what it was that Governor said, only that tne time between drinks had been rather long. Pretty soon one of the men reached down took up tho bottle, took out the cork, and said: ‘The Governor of North Carolina said to the Then both men laughed and drank I never felt so curious in my lite. I looked around at the trees on the bank and tho women who waved their handkorchiefa at us as we passed. Those Governors had a ring about them that tingled through my blood. Just then one of the men turne<q held tho bottle up, and said: ‘The Gov ernor of North .’ Before I knew it I had hold of the bottle. I turned it up and drank. All I thought about was the Gov ernors, and when the shadow's of Ike and Susan, the parson and my wife fntten through my brain, the two Governors, tall and grand, stalked right up and ran over them. The Governor of North Carolina and I had taken another pull, and a long one. I began to see the Governors in thou' true light. 1 thought that they were tho best fellows in the world. The bout seem ed to be running a mile a minute, and I didn’t cure what she did so long RH the Governors were with us. Well, boys tho Governors kept remarkin,' and I kept a pulling,’ and by the time I got to Little Rock I was drunk as an owl. Oh, I was as drunk as a mule—a mink. I got off the boat and yelled, ’Hoorah for the Gov ernor of North Carolina, anil the first thing I knowed I found myself in a sort of a prison. Fust time I ever was locked up, hoys. Fust time I ever was drunk, and I am sixty odd years old. —Little Rock (Aik. Gazette. Curiosities of English. The following are a few amusing ex am ities of the “curiosities of English, ” as re- Kp€‘.cty tlie change of Bound by different consonants: B makes the road broad, and turns ear to bear, and Tom into a tomb. C makes limb climb, changed, a lever clever, and tmnsports a lover to clover. . , , D turns a bear to beard, a crow to crowd and makes anger danger. F turns lower regions into_flower re gions. G changes a son to a song, and makes' one gone. H changes eight to height K makes now know, and eyed Keyed. L transforms a pear into a pearl. N turns a line into, lineiq a crow to a crown, und makes one none. P metaphoses lumber intor plumber. S turns even to seven, makes have shave, and word a sword, a pear a spear; makes laughtsr of slaughter. T transforms the phrase “all his own to “tallow this town.” \V does well: e j., hose are whose, aro becomes ware, on won, omen women, so sow, vie view, it makes an arm warm, anik turns a hat into—what. Y turns fur to fury, a man to many, to toy, rub to ruby, ours to yours, a lad to a lady. Mr. Wormley, of Eeidsville, Virginia, had two sons, Tom and Jack, both fond ol playing poker, but Jack was very sharp at the game and Tom very dull. When the old man died he left Tom $30,000 and -Jack only SI,OOO, but he explained that SI,OOO was stake enough for Jack to win everything that Tom had, and it was a wise provision, fop the local newspaper says it has so turned out. Mark Twain tells this new story of tho late Artemus Ward: “Artemus once said to me, gravely, almost sadly, Clemens, I have done too much fooling, too much trif nI am going to write somctl mg that will live. Well, what, for instance? In the same grave manner he said: ‘A he.’ _________ A subscriber to a Southwestern newspa per died recently, leaving a four years subscription unpaid. Tbe editor appear ed at the grave and deposited in the coffin, a palm leaf fan, a linen coat, and ther mometer. The proper place for boys to play leap frog is on the back stoop.