Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page.

it passed by the late General Assembly ot ueorgia—75 cent, per hundred word* for each of the first four insertions, and 83 cents for each subsequent Insertion. Fractional parts of one hundred are considered one hundred wor<ls;each figure and Initial, with date and signature, Is counted as a word. The cash must accompany the copy of each Advertisement,^ ESTABLISHED IN 1854 ) BY C. W. HANCOCK. I Advertisements not specifying the length DEMOCRATIC IN POLITICS AND DEVOTED TO NEWS, LITERATURE SCIENCE. AND GENERAL PROGRESS Terns: $2 A YEAR IN ADVANCE i : differ VOL. 32. AMERICUS, GEORGIA, FRIDAY, AUGUST 7, 1885. or time for which they are to be Inserted will be continued until ordered out and rharged for accordingly. J , Advertisements tooocuny fixed places wll be charged 25 per cent above regular rates NO. 24. Nations lu local column Inserted for t cent per line each insertion. rcAi’iT.u. PiiisB,irMte ||1# D. B. HILL Louisiana State Lottery Uo induct'd Kith honesty, fain lucorpoiated In 18C3for 25 years by tin Legislature for'Edncntior.al and Charitable purposes—with a capital of fl,000,000—tc which^a reserve tend of over |5i0,000 hat will take plaee monthly. »* tH A roKTIi>K. bSVKXTUGRAND DRAWING, CLASS u. IN THE ACAD EMY OF MUSIC. NEW ORLEANS, TUESDAY, Aiigii.t II, iei85—lS3d "capital PRIZE, $75,000. jffixxz si Money Orders, or Net Court Boose Spare, ►B AMERICUS,GA. I as PI innge in xpress (an nuinM ir expense) addi M. A. DAUPHIN hy M. A. DAUPHIN, THIS LAMP WITH WHITE SHADE. $3.00. ! WITH DECORATEDSHADES3.50. Mike P. O. Hone] PROFESSIONAL CARDS. B. B.&E.F. Hinton Attorneys at Law, Practice In State and Fedei t^-dai B. P. HOLLIS, Attorney at Law, AMERICAS, GA. Office, Forsyth Street, dec20tf E. G. SIMMONS, Attorney at Law* AMERICUS GA., Lamar* 5 Street,"In"111e U «ldL D oice*<of Fort Janfitf J- M. R. Westbrook, M. D- Physician and Surgeon Amor ieus.Gu. Office in Dr. F.ldridge’s DrugStote. hws idence on Church S Dr. C. A. BROOKS, RE 1IDENT PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON Ainericuw. Gu. Calls left at Davenports Drug Store will receive prompt attention. Will be found at night at the residence of Col. S. 11- Dawlc- . ins corner of Lee and College streets, juny 10-tf CUT ’EM OUT MY BROTH ER AND CARRY THEM IN YOUR LEFT VEST POCKET FOR REF ERENCE. j A gal. Gem Jars, per dozen ; Jelly Capa with .covers per doz. , Goblets from 35cts a set to $8.00. Large Glasa Pitchers, 50c. j Glasa seta 4 pieces, per 6«t, 40c. ; Large Glass stands each 25c. i Glaat Cream plates per dozen 25c. { Syrup Cana each 15c. Hamburg Ridging per yard let. Iron Stone China plates, cups and saucers, per set 40 and 50cts. Steak Dishea with covers GOcts. Largest stock, finest variety of Table Cutlery in town, Iron Handle knives GOcts. per aet. Valances Lace per yard 2c. Brass Hand Lamps, 15cts. Brooms 20, 30 and 50cta. Picture Frames Very Cheap. Window Shades Complete at $1.U0. Mattresses $2.50, 4.00, 10.00, 15.00 and 80.00. Spring beds, $1.50 to 9.00. Bedstead**, $1.75 to 50.00. Double locked and guaranteed hicko ry chairs 50c. Glasses large size40cls. I Light Day Clocks $4-50 Warranted, Pendulum Clocks! S1.2&, 30 PIece*Chinn Te* N-t* fioir $5.00 to $25 00. Cologne Sets from 50c to $5. Wfcrjj Wash stand sets from $4.00' a? to j to $25.00. m 5I Tin Toilet sets from $2.50 to 3 $4.50. I When our hearts acho to find our* longer needed to partake of pleasures of onr children—scarcely' welcome even to share in tbojr sorrows; when cold duty take* the piste of the ifterings in Vickntss or snffer- hom do we* cast our eyes Up wards, thinking, «d», were she here. whom would > When th- , ^ ►y, mid language Vail* t«> expies* the bitter shame; when the little feet whose first tottering footstepi* wo haxe upheld, Triple Plate Castors $3.75- Warranted to Hold its Plate 15 Years. Plated Spoons, Knivesand Forks, from 75c. Per Set to $12.00, Two or three dollar.' will buy a buggy load of nice things lor your table and ten or twelve dollars worth of Furniture will balk e team of mules. You’ll i find me on tbe SQUARE CLOSE BY THE “TEMPLE OF JUSTICE." Window Shades any color Carpet Lounges, Marble Top Tobies, Spring Beds, $1.00 I Maible Top Bureaus, 9.00 j Wood Top Bureaus 3.50 | Walnut Bedsteads, 1.50 Extra Large Rockers, $10.00 7.50 . G.00 . 4.00 Uncle Mass Hay said of our Plated Ware, It is the best and cheapest I’ve bought. Nary speck on it yet. I’m always prepared for Weddings, Anniversaries &c., &c. A written guarantee fur nished up to 15 years. I represent Meridan Britannia Co., Reed & Barton, Simp son Hall, Miller & Co. In fact all the leading manu facturers in this line. :bed through jhe firmer stride* of youth and manhood, have turned into divons devious paths, heedless of entreaty or prayer, whither do we turn, longing to rest onr weary heads oh the bosom that over answered our cry for sympathy? The mother in Heaver. When years have passed, and wo o left alone, children gone, some sep arated by seas or monntains, others by tho greater distanoe of ooldnesa or for getfulness, whose voice then oome back to us with the loving tones we •ainly long to hear once more ? The dear mother iu Heaven. Is not the wish wrung from ns, that ice again we were children to be clasped in that warn embrace? Do the bitter tears come aa we remem- how unmindful we were of tho rich motherly blessings while we had them ? Oh, ye, who still hare mothers to feel for you in your joys or your sor rows, remember, however your hearts may change, their’s never do; the moth er’s heart is the one thing that never grows old. Amidst the portion in this world, a good being has sent to all one blessing—ono love purer than all oth ers. Happy are .those who, with an guish and remorse, do not havo to say, This tap 3k ITII SUM Ml -Slip IB Y’OV.'T&X. AtTLllWAltD. The object of her quest, a grave, was tliere; he grave of one who was her dearest friend, Whose loving thought liad lighted every ho two together long had journeyed And borne each other’s burden day by day. hared every joy, and many a hope and NordTea’med they of the parting of the great need, Charlie told her his own, to spend as he pleased, and mid * ' * * aim They thought their prayer a loving God rhat, in the fullness of llis grace and He would ’spare each to each for many when the dark t And one went on, God holding by the hand back to live but i ng because she could not under- P* 3 *. , rievlng l stand. i desolate and he« ofar, Comforter drew soul beyond its prison in vision, the dear friend she ;omforted befor iess again, no vigils kept; that he would rather gi than to have the nicest toy in the store. Then walking away swiftly from the Bhop windows, which were all full of tempting New Year’a presents, be went bravely home to his mother, sure of her approbation. The firat person he met grandfather, lie had observed Charlie go down the street, and he was waiting his return, that he might see what he had bought. So his first salutation was, “Well, my child, what have yon done with your money?” Now, Charlie’e grandfather was not a religions man; and the boy knew that though he sometimes gave money to hia relations, he seldom or never be stowed it upon the poor, so he rather disliked to .tell him what he had done with hia money; but while he hesitated the verse which he had that morning learned came into hia mind and helped him to answer. Looking pleasantly into his grandfather's face, he said: “I lent it, air.” “Lent your half-dollar? foolish boy You’ll never get it again, I know.” “Oh; yea I ahall, grandpa, for I’vi got a promise to pay.” “Yon mean a note, I suppose; but it isn’t worth a cent. “Oh, yes, grandpa, it’s perfectly good. I’m sure about it, for it’s in the Bible.” ■Yon mean yon have put it there stranger, a babe, was sent to bless two people living in a small red farm house among the trees. The babe grew and thrived, and, oh, what a comfort it waa to those who watched over its growth to see it daily growing The mother, she is lying down there under the withered grass; and the fatb- sitting here, old and sorrowing, with a withered heart. Madge waa a favorite among the neighbors, and was always the belle of every gathering for milea around* She grew so sweet, so ely, and—she was so true and gen- » daughter! Bnt there! I need not tell yon of that, for it only makes the pjsin hero in my breast sharper. After Madge left school she went with to a ball In tbe Town Hall. Madge a the belle, and it made my head :zy when 1 saw his face, the hand- ne stranger’s bending, bending over the sweet-face of Madge. “He waa visiting at a neighbor’ house yon see; and Madge being the beauty of the place, he came to s< They told me that his father rich city merchant; and that he clever young fellow, who would make hie* There pain and death and sorrow i for sale keeping, eh? Charlie brought the book and show ed him the verse—“He that hath pity the poor lendeth Was she resigned t Since be was spared earth’s sorrow Tes; for love’s sake she took her heavy Thinking each day how precious wa his gain. She could not know why they must part s [uestion God 1 the ask’ed of Him that one great boon— The sweet submission that could trust the Lord, and that which he hath given will he pay him again. gave yonr money to some pofir scamp! Well, you’ll never see i t again Who has got it, pray?” “I gave it to Hannah Green, sir, And Charlie told him the «ad atory. O, fudge!” said the grandfather, 1 dear will, Him still. 't pay poor folks* rent, it* all nonsenae. And now yon have lost yonr New Year’s prffieot, or will, if I dpn’t make it up to you. Here," he added, Tbo Lent Half-Dollar. When Charlie Gleason waa about ten years olJ, a bright half-dollar Dr. J. A. FORT, Physician and Surgeon. Offers his professional services r ‘ people of Americas and vicinity. Oi l)r. Eldrldge’s Drug Store. At nig be found at residence at tbe Taylor Galls will receive prompt attention. I U II. F. Prescription Druggists. Dr. D. P. HOLLOWAY, DentisT, Amerioui, ... Georgia Treatssuccossf ully all dlseasesof the Den tal organa. Fills teeth oy me Improved method, and inserts artificial teeth o~ “ best materia! known to tbe profession. BT*ofFir 3 1 -* Drug Store. r Davenport and Son’ Fillmore Dhows. Edgerton House Opposite Passenger Depot l MACON, GEORGIA. E. E. Brown & Son, Proprietor Ealu p.00 Per /Joy. he threw him another half-dollar, seeing yonr money is gone where yon will never see it again, I must give yon ome more, 1 suppose.” “Ob,thank yon/’siad Charlie,heartily. I knew the Lord would pay me again, grandpa, because the Bible says so;but given him by his grandfather, to buy anything he pleaaed for a New Year’a present. The boy’s mother had that morning taught him tbe verse, “He that hath pity ou the poor lendeth tc the Lord, and that which he hath giv en will ho pay him again.” Thi words were running in the boy’a mind his way to the store to purchase a toy which he had seen in the window of the shop on the ’previous day. Just before Charlie reached the store, he met a poor woman who had some times done washing for his mother,and she setmed to bo in great distress. “What is the matter, Hannah?’ said this kind-hearted child. “O, master Charlie, I’ye got to be turned into the street thie cold morn ing, and my little Bill so sick, too.” “Turned into the street, you and Bill, what for?” “Because 1 can’t raise my weekly rent. I’ve just been to see my land lord, and he say* it’e three daye over- duo, apd lie’ll not wait another hoar. There goes the men now to pat my stove and a tew other things on the aide- walk. Oh, what shall I do?” “How much is yoor rent. Hannah?** asked the boy with a choking voioe. “It’s a half-a-dollar,” said the wo man. “It will kill Bill to pnt him out in thin cold—and I’m nun I will die with him.” “No yon won’t; no yon ahna’t,” said the tender-heart d child; and feel ing in his pocket, he brought forth hie treasured half-dollar, and plaoed it quickly in hsr hands. Seeing aha hesi tated to keep it, notwithstanding her I didn’t expect to get it so quick. “The boy*’* too much for me,” the old gentleman, as he walked quick ly »*»7- Tbe old Man’s Story, Twice a day, morning and night, the feeble steps wended their way to the orchard back of the almshouse. His face was aeamed and tracked over by the footsteps of time; hia hair waa silver white and when he spoke there waa a tremulous tone to his voice, very saddening to the listener. Three score and ten, an inmate of a pauper v and yet, no matter how dismal w weather, the same bent form would wead it* way to the orchard. A. Georgia Sketch. Hank, in reply to John’s inqniry as old man Johnson,” who, I gather, engaged in the business of moon- shining, soberly told of his fate. “ he and old man Baa come booght a together a year ago last October. They were partners like. The beast tan wild in the woods. This fall they drove her np to the atill house, and she and her seven shoats lived on the slops of the still. Along in early December Johnson sent word to Baacome to come and divide the young stock, as he wanted to kill hia meat. Now, yon know that it wonld have been bnt fair seeing that Johnson had fed the pigs, for him to have kept four of the shoats, Bascome, he talked him ont of four, the old man was satisfied with three. The understanding was that he “Twas the old story. Madge innocent, and waa carried away by the stranger's city ways and genteel de meanor. He most have turned tbe girl’s head with hia false tongue and smooth wotds. One morning Madge waB missing; the young stranger, he, too, was gone. One, two, three years went by, and not a trace or a word did we hear of her yonng man’s people. If they knew anything about Madgf they never told us. “One winter’s night, when we sat i the old kitchen, her mother and I, sleep came over ns, and we both dream ed that onr Madge was seated little chair by tbe fire. We awoke. Madge, onr Madge had come back 1 She must have slipped through tho doorway while we slept, for there she have, the odd pig next year, if there should be one. Bascome allow- ibat there wonld be one sure. Well, woman Johnson, when she heard of the trade, she allowed that there would be no odd pigs next year, and she pnt Johnson np to go and claim the shoat, or at least one-half of it. The old chap be went across the ridge to Bascome’s house. It it about two miles through the woods. Of course they fell ont, and Johnson beat Bas- upon her chair. Oh; how white her face was! IIow black her hair lookod, all hanging down about her neck and shoulders! IIow hollow her eyes was, and—oh, Heaven ! how pained was the expression which shone them as the firelight played upon her features ! And—hush—it was the cry of babe—she held a child upon her lap. It waa a pretty little thing, with o' Madge’s face, bnt his, the stranger' eyes. We never chided Madge; I took the babe, and Madge’s mother pnt her strayed daughter to bed. 'She never awoke, for the exposure, illness, nud heart disappointment had went home, The babe grew, and final ly, one day, he, ita father, came and took the child away with him. didn't ask for an explanation. Jot understood it all. She was a mother, but not a wife. Things went bad from that time with ns, and we were sent to ■-house. She. Madge’* mother, w.tetk.1 1 ’■"g *•■*“ bnnchw of . gairW .ppl«*« m\££2*^ Perhaps—hush 1 o yon oome here every vaguely „ ible to onr •are: hia fingers trembling ’and shak ing, were picking the leaves from among the scant gnu. Friend, why do you day?” • Ho turned, half itartingly, toward ns; upon bis face a look of pain, and in ’hie area — ‘ * melancholy. “Hnih f She’e down there.” “Who?” “Hera, ait down. I’ll tell yon the atory. They all know about it ’ perhaps you don’t.” We sat down by the old man, and he told na hia sad story. “Many, many year* ago t It does painful to sit here and think of the days long ago. Perhaps—hush! 1 hope it won’t last long, for I have such *—ims at night; and by day of pitifnl little sit and dream, too, for I hear familiar voices come to me from somewhere, and they tall me “corns.” We left him. His tears were sacred for eyes to gaze on, his sorrows straight home, counting on a quiet evening together, for-the cards, yon know, didn’t announce ns *at home* until Monday. As I entered the vesti bule, I stumbled over a pile of pamph- ibe wore and with the second toe rub bed the eye-lid. Then she bent for ward and brushed back a stray hair from her forehead. Taking np the pen lets, circulars and catalogues as high as a tea chest. We walked aroand them and went into the library. My desk buried under a mountain of Please, sir,” said the hired girl, ig to the hillock in the vestibule, i wliat’s come to-day. If I’d knowed yez was cornin’ home airly, I’d have lugged ’em oaten the way afore yez came. There’s ben a reg’lar per cussion av men and byes a’poki under the door all day.’ “I looked over a few of tho things be fore I pitched them into the grate. may s come with a clnb, and he yelled foi help. You know his gal Bet' is as big as a cow, and as strong male. &he ran ont of the honse, and, gathering a stone, she mashed Johnson in the ribs, and knocked the wind ont of him. He fell against the corn honse, and Bet grabbed him by the goozlestring (windpipe); that settled When a 250-ponnd woman gels her hand on o man’s goozlestring that' has got to do something mighty Budden, or it’s all day with him.” He was silent for an instant, and gazed moodily out of * the car window, judged from the expression There were twelve catalogues and price-lists fromfnmitare-dealera, seven dry-goods and millinery advertisements addressed to my wife, cards from three nval bakers, two paper books describ ing burglar alarms, one illustrated cat alogue of baby coaches, fonr annuals published by insurance companies, and a circular announcing that in a few days Mr. Somebody would call with a copy of “The Honaewife’ Friend,” a compilation of choice w cipes, together with a thousand and domestic bints invaluable to tbe inexperienced housekeeper. “You may laugh, but I even found lawyer’s card, inscribed: ‘Legal busi ness attended to promptly and without publicity.’ Do you suppose the scoun drel thought I’d want a divorce before the end of tbe honeymoon? But that all. We were swindled ont of onr quiet evening, too. Can’t imagine how they found out that he had experience with 250-ponnd women. He cheered a little shortly, and resuming the, to me, thrilling sto ry, said: “Johnson squirmed away from her and broke for the timber. Bet’s blood was np, and she took after . iig yellow bound him, and he hit old Johnson. Bet chased him over the ride, and at every jump she threw stonee at him. She hit him, too. and tbe dog tore most of his clothes off. That Bet never stop ped chasing him until the heft of her epapero “Here cc between the large and second toes of her left foot, and holding a slip of pa per with her right toes, she wrote in a feminine hand, small and rather neat: 'He that lends to all shows good will bnt little sense. Ann E. L. Thomp son, Born without arms, December 28, 1839, Ga.,' This written she pnt the pen down, took up a pair of scissors with the large and third toe of the left foot, and cleverly cut off the portion of r on which she had written, comes my dinner. Now yon me eat—not that it’s such sight, bat yon may find it odd to s< te eat with toes instead of fingers. Mr. Thompson spread ont a napkin i tbe platform, and placed it on the nner of a person in good health. Mrs. Thompson turned around, took np cup of tea in her foot, stirred it with spoon held in her right toes, and half tending and raising tbe cap to her lips, drank off tbe tea and placed the cup or tbe platform. Then she grasped a fiat handled silver knife in her left tc caught a fork between the first two t of her right foot and cat some steak to pieces. Part of it was tough; bnt she had no more trouble in cutting it than an ordinary person wonld have. A piece of meat on the fork was trana- People who Think Aloud. _ lometimes hear the remarks people make who talk themselves while walking along the itreets,” said a Pinkei the Continental hotel. “They ply thinking aloud. The hshit itself seems altogether foolish, bnt I ca yon the tenor of soma of the exprei is juto the reverse. I always make a point to listen to these one-sided vernations. Now you may con .polite ferred to her mouth, aud was followed by a piece ot bread broken from a slice by her large aud second toes. that my business I don’t think it detectives sometimes gain valuable formation by overhearing j^rsoas t to themselves. 1 remember, years a when l was a private detective in I city, how I cleared up a case jus' that way. Several thousand dollars had been stolen from a prominer chant. He suspected his son, a fast young mar, and employed find whether his suspicions wc rcct. I shadowed the young felloi closely for weeks, but I couldn’t dii cover any good reason for conncctin him with the robbery. Finally, lati one night, when I was thinking about giving up the case, I noticed himgoi up Chestnut street aud heard him talk- * * * floac behind clothes waa snagged off of her.” Mus ingly he remarked: “Wimmen is tough customers;” and, after a abort pause, added: “Bet say* she can whip 'd reached home bnt three polite insurance agents called, one after another, before 10 o’clock. Two of them were life insurance men. and each tried to piotnre to me what a horrible thing it would be for me to die and leave a wife—and perhaps a child —unprovided for, and how likely I to die instantly. The third was a insurance man, who wanted to take a risk on everything in the house before we had time to sleep. From the way he pictured the horror* of a fire you might have thought we were living in a powder-mill. I got mad finally and told him to go to the devil. Well.tix more bores called on Saturday. Then I broke down, and to-day I came to the club to get away from them. Take my advice, boys, and when yon get married don’t pnt it in the paper.”— Philadelphia Times. As soon as she had finished this nov el'meal, Mrs. Thompson continued: “I forgot to tell you about my schooling. O, yes 1 went to school. The pupils were kind and l had a little raised pli form for my case. I held mjr books and read and studied as well as tbe rest of the girls. I held a slate in my right foot and a pencil between the toes of my left foot and managed to figure as well as anyone. My right limb is shorter than my left foot as yon have seen. I learned all that was taught in the common schools of Georgia be fore the war.” Tho Mother in Heaven. When the heart i* oppressed with i heaven who m r failed ns while uiot her Hc.ii r mother in Heaven. Beware of Smart Young Men. Three panics have been caused by three yonng men, two of whom were iess than thirty years of age; each was who had forgot- the God of his lather. One v banker, one was a broker, and one a confidential clerk. Two died homeless and penniless, in selt-cxile, and one is w in jail. One of them was a finan- il prodigy. At the age of twenty- o ho was a bank president. The bank was a success. His personal ipeculations brought him large returns, ■enerable directors encouraged his career. He was esteemed a wonder in the financial world; bnt bis aged father, the retired clergyman, . trembled for the future of his son. When tho young banker had accumu lated $200,000, lie begged him to be snt and stop. Bnt the son was ho could make a million. Temp os multiplied. Honesty was sus pended, the golden bubble bursts, de tection followed, the young banker fied from home, aud died a penniless stran- ,trange” and. His life story, with a fev i the The final s :ircumstantial variations of tho confidential clerk, ry of the third is yet to be ct us be weary of the smart young . l. IIow consummate are bis per il attractions. His address is pleas- IIis imagination is his faculty. t. Lieten to him, and the false ns true and fiction teal. Success mds his early vied, pittied, courted, feasted, trusted. He handles millions. Hi* methods sr questioned. Dividends are Ask noqueetions for conscience’ his powerful temp tations. He fancies that fortuni slave; but bis “black” The sheriff arrests him; the dungeon His day of extravagance ended. Money gone, jewels and fast irscs sold, and the banquet hall is rNaken.— l)t % •/. /’. Newman. him and listened and knew he was the thief. Tho afft wonted him aud for Teliet he talked about it to himself and thus gave whole thing away. to me in New York a year ago. A lit tle girl was foun I murdered one morn ing in one. of tbo worst part* of the city. The child had been smothered to death and for several weeks I tried to discover the murderer. But 1 found tha stuffing out of him in a fair fist fight; but Lord! John, he can’t fight no more. He is all smashed np.” So berly John expressed hia sympathy for old man Johnson. Neither of them smiled. A vision of a half-naked man, chased through the forest by a yellow honnd and an angry woman, who un- lovingly threw stones at him, and who encouraged the dog to disrobe him, and who kept np tbe ehase until ker own clothes were gone, arose promptly be fore me, and I yelled with laughter. The two grave Georgians smiled in sympathy with me, bnt they did not anything fanny in the story.- Georgia’s Armless Woman. Webster’* Audience. [Baltimore American.] Here is a new anecdote of Webster. It was told by the late Col. Mnnford, who was at one time Secretary of the Virginia Commonwealth, and it has never been published: Col. Mnnford was in bis office at tbe 8tatebonse one day whenadistingnished-lookingman, accompanied by a yonng lady, came in and asked if they could see the legis- U WALKS, WRITES A 1 stive chambers. Col. Mnnford at once recognized, from portraits that he had Miss Leach, the armless woman who was born and raised at the Dean place in Griffin, is now a Mis. Thompson, and lives in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. A Milwaukee paper publishes tbia ac count of Mrs. Thompson that may in terest many who knew Miss Leach when a child: Now let me tell yon what I oan do, too deep far wtraagera’ comforting dolenoe. The next evening, jnat as ™ shadows began to fall, they went to loek for tbe old man, and found him sleeping the last sleep. A Young Husband’s Woes. “A welcome home? Well, yes, rather,” said a newly-married man, who was receiving the congratulations of his bachelor comrades yesterday What kind of a picture wonld yon prefer, mi«s?” inquired a photographer of a young lady customer. “Well,” was the reply, “take me with an im pression as if I were writing a poem one of the fashionable club*. "Y« . be continued in a contemplative tone, mariner welcome than I anticipated. dinner’ll be herein jnat a moment, Thread a needle? Of course I can; see.” And eniting the action to the word, Mrs. Thompson picked np a fin# needle with the large and eeoond to# of the right foot, held it tightly between the tips, and taking some yarn in her left foot, rolled tbe end deftly on a ■mall smooth stone, bent in her body almost double, and deftly breasted tho yarn in the needle more easily than a bachelor threads a large needle with a very fiae thread. Next'the took a 1 never knew before what % married man has to endvre. Do vow know that when a fellow gtte married he becomes The victim of aa army of agets, can vassers and all each cheeky cattle, and they never let up till the honsymboi over? “Fannie and I got back from the wedding tonr Friday night. We drove handsome tidy, on which she crocheting, with ■ remarkable deftness, held the work in her right foot, while the left guided the needle inaad oat, catching tbe thread with ease wad fash ioned the figarea aa fast a# “my lady” in the sitting room does with her eoft hands. Her right eye giving ber town trouble while doing this work, she deft ly poshed back the spectacle* which *een7 the lace of Webster, and wishing to see as much of the great statesman aa possible, offered to accompany him through the Statehouse. The young lady Beemed to be a relative of Web ster, and waa very bright and piqnant in hsr conversation. Thera was a con stant fits oi clever repartee between the two, and when tbe party reached tbe Senate chamber the yonng lady, turn ing to him, exclaimed: “Now, every body says yon are a great man and can make a speech without say prepara tion. 1 want yon to prove it.” As she said thia she moved toward the rostrum and took A*****’ 00 °f the President’* chair. “Tbe house please come to order.” The gentleman from Massachusetts has tbe floor. “Webster,” said Col. Mnnford, relating tbe incident, “took as if by instinct the most favorable position in the room, eo that hia voice could beet be heerd,’ and for ten or fifteen minutes be spoke with an eloquence that' I have never heard' equaled. He referred to Virginia* e past, and. alluding especially to her distinguished scan, be pointed out their portraits thathmag' on tbe walls, a»d described their traits in the most beau* tifnl language imaginable.” Col. Mun- •. It was during the winter and tter cold day as 1 was going through Central park 1 saw a woman ahead of me acting very strangely. She was poorly dressed and I thought at first that she was intoxicated. Sh« throwing her arms around widely and talking to herself. Yon should have heard that woman. She wjD raving about a child that was tout dered and called on heaven to forgive her for having killed i*. Theu she moaned out something about the child having been cold and freezing and starving and she couldn't see it suffer any longer. 1 soon found out that nhi was the very person 1 was looking for Well, I arrested her, bnt the poo thing died before her trial came off. I was glad aht did. “But tho funniest things are said by drunken people. . I often. »oo comical instances of intoxicated men staggering home, swearing at themselves for get ting drnnk and solemnly promising not to do it again. • Then again they often haven serious conversation with them selves as to bo^ their wives» them when they get home.” TheSninlloHt Watch iu tho World A small, gold penholder, renting in » rich velvet case, lay or a jeweler’s showcase on John street, last week. The end of tho holder wta shaped like an elongated cube, and was an inch long. A faint musical ticking Msued from it attracted a custo- aiiention. The jeweler lifted the holder from the case, with a smile; and exhibited a tiny watch dial, l-lt»th inch in diameter, set in the side between two other dials almost as small. One indicated the day, and tho other the month of the year. Tho center dial ticked off seconds, minutes, and hours. “This is tbe smallest watch ever made,” the jeweler said, “and the on ly one of its kind in the world. It took a Geneva watchmaker the better part of two years to fit tho parts togeth- tbat they would work accurately. i London and it has been exhibited Paris.” The works of the w ,tch were so that they fitted lengthwise in the holder. The mainspring was an elongated coil of Btell fitted to the wheels by a tiny .M-fasbtoned golTou the under side of the handle. A gold pen ws* fitted in tbo holder, and the jeweler wrote with it withunc disturb ing the operation of the faiiy watch. A Frenchman who was introduced t a brandy-punch in Bicbtnoud, by a American friend, appeared at the san bar early next morning in qnest of duplicate. U afortunately .he could nt recall the name of tbe inspiration which be had absorbed the nig I the bar-keeper found tbe following de- scriptior 'sufficient: “I-will take one ' contradiction, what you - call it? win very much 1«hiu»u for task# him. sour, very much aoogaie for make him sweet, the customer What’s the pri d $500,” replied the jeweler, laughing.—New York Sun. HU MO 1C, The stage-driver, in desciibieg the .teepness of a certain Vermont moua- ain, said that “Ohain-ligbtia’ couldn’t p^down it without brcechia’ c-».” “In ehoosiog a wife,” says an ex change, “be governed by her chin.” The worst of it is, that after choosing a ’ ipt to keep on Uiog gov- iVln tbe t ‘‘This world is foil of trouble*,’’ ford frequently told bi* friends that it was the beat speech that he ever listen ed to. plenty of brandy for make him strong, great deal of hitn weak.” r Yor make claimed Brown, despairingly; “there’s no rest this side of the : grave.” “Cheer ‘ up,” replied Fogg; “forget y. nr troub- ; yon’U get the rest beyond the grave.” “Ugh!” excla med Brown. I “believe ADELINA PATrl. (he great songstress ttld.-orSpploa Palmer’s p«(uin^*Toilet and other artfcJei_ moonce them superior to- any I ever >d.” Principal depot, 374 and 376 Pearl l ahal* freeze to- death; bnt I*. _ die some time,” lie added, might as well die that way as ai er.” “Much ieiter,” irplied consolingly,' you’ll have such cellent chance to thaw off on th side, yon know.” got t •and I T otk- VogK, L ? . * V . y.xii.iJ 1 * - —