Newspaper Page Text
|U-|#
PUBLISHED dt ——
rf.VT'&T* I*. Oantt
editors and propbietous.
qt Two dollars Ter Annum,
CASH IN ADVANCE.
**-3l«lm« n CoploSent Free on Application.'
From Farm Ballad*.
The New Church Organ.
Advertisement*, from this date, lneerted at
(tee Dollar per Square (of one Inch) for the first
Insertion, and Seventy-five Conte par Square forj|
each additional insertion. I
Funeral Notices and Obituaries charted for
at regular Advertising rates. a SIMM
tar No extra charge for Local or Special column
■•■Transient Advertisements cash. Oth*r
collected every ninety dnya.
A THRICE-DUG GRATE*
by tv. CA«LTOS.
T:ie*'*c B®* * bran-new organ, Sim,
Y.’.r all their fuss and search J
They've done just as they said they’d do,
And fen.hod it Into church.
They're bound the critter shall be seen,
And »n the preacher's right
niey've hoisted up their new machine,
everybody's sight.
They've got a chorister and choir,
Ag'ia „,y voice and vote,
, or it was tiever my desire, *,
T,> (.raise the Lord by note !
■ Inn a sister good and true
or tive-un’-Uiirty year;
r- dot.® wl.at seemed tuy part to de,‘
preyed my duty clear;
e snug the hymns both slow nod quick,
u»: ... : he preacher lead,
■1 .-c-o, when io... f ut is was sick,
The uight was very dark, and very
dismal. The sky was completely over
cast with rain-charged clouds, the great
drops from which pattered on the roof,
and blew against the windows of the
medical college, which is the pride of
one of New England’s towns.
At midnight two students sat smok
ing iu their room. They seemed to be
waiting for somebody, and two thick
coatsand slouch hats, lying on the table,
indicated a contemplated facing of the
storm.
“Harry is late,” said Arthur Moore,
the taller and handsomer of the two.
“He is usually so punctual to his ap
pointments, too;* I wonder what keeps
him.”
1 lie
: -a i -
of their expedition closing their lips.
But when they had seated themselves
in the Wagon, and were driving toward
the town again, Dick said:
“ What do you suppose brought
Harry there?”
“I can only account for it,” replied
Arthur sadly, “by supposing that he
concluded to join us at the cemetery,
and that he was trying to frighten us
by refusing to speak.
The college was safely reached, and
the body of the girl was taken to the
dissecting room and deposited on the
table, iu readiness for the followiug
day’s lecture. Then tliegriei-stricken
students retired lo their room, and
tried to sleep until morning
Dick th effort was partial;,
fnl; but not so with Art’
\ crazy yith’oxditemeqt and sorrow,
and it was not long before their spades
struck the coffin.
4 “Empty 1” was the sexton’s Ejacula
tion ; “just as I expected. But what’s
this under it ? A man, or I’m a lu
natic !”
Harry Stanwood was saved.
It was not until he had lain several
minutes on the ground, where, he was
placed by his jihanefi savior, that he
realized his good fortune—longer, in
deed, before he comprehended it all,
for his head whirled, and he seemed
yet stifling in his narrow quarters. The
shock to his nervous system, added to
the blow which Arthur had given him,
threatened a serious result. He was
With j scarcely able to tell the grave-diggers
artialjy sue ess : his sister’s a.ldrsfs, and asked them to'
Arthur.' Half ■ have 1iim conveyed* there, before his
AaJ now, their MS, u.;«r-ianj0edvray»
Is.«eisV«$ rtj if
Ana 1;'right my Uft&'usyr, '
Arc fairly crowded out 1
I can’t imagine,” replied Dick j 0 j,ty ,l, w ,i to re-enact iu iin
; Norton. And then added: “By the J a g' ; ;at;t.u tfu*. terrible. eruastropLa,
way, Arthur, while we — -
he . strength was completely exhausted.
Arthur MoOre was met
! tell me how you came to fall' so de". j Should h
1 ..l iesl
iK»dy <
rl 11, ,
t na|h were slachlin' near ;
An’ when l i»oe them grin,
I |,iJ farewell lo every fear,
And boldly waded in.
I thought I’d chase that tune aloug.
And tried with all my might;
liut though my voice is good and strong,
I couldn't steer it right •
When they was high, then 1 was low,
An’ al.-vi coutrawiite ;
An’ 1 loo fast, or they too slow,
To “mansions iu the skies.”
An’ aft«*r every verse you know,
They play a little tunc ;
I didn’t understand, an’ so
I sUr'.c 1 in too soon.
! pitched it pretty middlin’ high,
1 fetched a lusty tone,
H it, oh, alas! I found that I
Wa-vsingin’ there alone!
They lau;he 1 a little, I am told ;
Itut 1 hnd done my best ;
And not a wave of trouble rolled
Across my j»eaceful breast.
f peratcly in love with Ham Stan
j wood's sister, Kate. We are too iuti-
: mate friends, you know, to make toe
j request an impertinence.”
•‘Certainly not,” replied Arthur,
I “and 1 haven’t the least objection to
j telling you all about it. T» begin
with, 1 have only known Kate three
months, and in that short time i have
learned to worship the very ground
she ”
“There, there,” interrupted Dick;
" I didn’t ask for rhapsodies, you
know. Tell me the story in plain
English.”
“ I know, but if you knock the ro
mance out of it, what would lie left?
But the facts are simply these: I went
home with Harry Stanwood, last vaca
tion, and then, for the first time, met
Kate. During the month I was there,
\vc—Kate and I — were constantly
together. At the eml of my stay, we
were engaged, and I don’t believe that ]
a man ever loved more truly, or was |
more truly loved.
are waiting, 1 AiM what tyou'4 -Kata-svwooel -dtt^f fHSfe : 5?SnwoiSTherself, whose pale face
i-' cii. ,..i i i. —^ inrth i«> h.T, and filled him with foreboding.
ni a 11
i:r.
t>
A11 !
1:
? Would she j “Harry is dreadful sick—was brought
had killed her home to-day in a carriage from some
where—has been out ot his head and
talking all sorts of things,” was her
disjointed greeting.
Arthur almost doubted his own sani
ty ; but a terrible weight was lifted
from him when Kate led him in where
Harry laid in lie*!, tossing in a high
fever. The sight bewildered him,
however, yet he forbore to ask her for
>• n Sound mm tor-
i til.—c question.',
in were rallied by
on iiieir haggard
the day, hut they
aosence of Harrv
uppeni.!
kepi -i.
ri tau wood caused no mquiry.
Toward night Dick and Arthur met
in their room.
“Do you know Dick,” said Arthur, • an explanation of the mystery,
wiintl have decided to do in this' But the explanation came
dreadful matter ? I aui determined to ’
confess all
“To the authorities!”
“ No; there would be nothiug good
gained by that; but to Kate, i had
rather incur her hate than deceive
her.”
Two hours later Autiiur started to
call upon Kate, for the purpose of tell
ing her all.
LAUGHS RISMS,
for the evening, the girls nowadays,
atom of dress on them leave;
them—for what is an evening dress,
■a that is suited for Eve 7
What fish is most valued bv a happy
wife ? Herring.
It don’t follow because ladies are well
lacedt that they are staid in their de
meanor.' ' ;
Uncle Bam should discard the eagle
and adoj|t the raccoon—it has so many
rings on its tail.
“This is the rock of ages,” said the
father, after rocking two hours, and
tl e baby still awckj.
Som
for Uj
admit
Sat!
A FAIRY SPOt.
due
time, and the three students can now
afford to laugh over their terrible night’s
work.
A REMINISCENCE OF THE BATTLE
OF CHICKAMAUOA.
•T» *1”
Upon leaving his sister
upon
the
At this point there was a rap at the 1 night of the ill-starred expedition to
And Sister Brown—I c«»uM but look—
She sits right front of me ;
fchc never was no singin’-book.
An* never went to be ;
Hut then she nl’ays tried to do
The be-t she rotild, she said ;
she understood the time right through,
An’ k«rj>’ It with her head ;
But when »he tried this mornin’, oh,
1 had to laugh, or cough!
It krp’ her head a-liohhin' so,
It e’eli ft'nioM eome off!
An' Deacon Tuble*—he all broke down,
* . --.»«* might well sunnoae :
He took one I»w*k at Mister Brown,
And meekly scratched his nos**.
He hmked his hyinn*lNiok through and thro
And laid it on the seat,
And then a pensive sigh he drew.
And looked completely beat.
An' when they took another bout,
He didn’t even rise ;
But drawed his red bandanner out,
And wiped his weepin’ eyes.
door, and the janitor handed in a note.
It was addressed to Arthur, who read
it.
“It’s front Harry,” he said, “and he
says he can’t go with us—unexpected
ly detained ; so I suppose we may as
well go on alone.”
Donning the thick coats, and pull
ing the slouch-hats down over their
faces, they passed out of the building.
At the rear gate of the college grounds
they found a horse and waggon stand
ing, having been evidently placed there
by previous arrangement. In it were
a spade, pick-ax, and hoe—tools which
themselves suggested the purport of
their midnight mission.
The two students had licen com
missioned to obtain a body for dissec
tion , UHtl (lie news of the buriill, that.
day, of a corpse in a cemetery a few
miles distant, had induced them
l’v« titfen a.sitter, s<x*d an’ true,
For five-an’-thirty year ;
I’ve done what seemed my part to do.
An’ prayed uiy duty clear ;
Bui death will stop my voice, I know,
For lie is on my track :
And someday I to church will go,
And never more come buck ;
Amt when lbe folks gets up to sing—
Whene'er that time shall he—
l don’t want nopatent thing
A s.|iieal!n’ over me!
w ■>:,!> xra:iv.
Itiis is an old story, but for the moi- j
-•>1 it conveys, will bear to be told once i
swore; |
A loving newly-married couple sat •
mv.o to ten for the first time in their j
we', home. Ilappv asa pair of birds, I
•ev v.,-iv hilling and cooing to each j
wo.-n -tving something rtm out
ino,: .*> t r. iTevexclaimed, |
■at rat ' and
was a rat.
s a mouse.”
aw ir, and
.now it
i -V
i: was a rat.
it was a iuuii-c.”
i a ra;Twasa mouse.”
” ‘''l’was a mouse/
promptly to arrange the expedition.
The drive, through the deserted
streets and along the country road to
the cemetery, was unattended by in
cident. Yet neither of them could
throw off a sling of nervousness. They
knew that they were breaking the law,
that suspicion had been aroused by
recent similar excursions by the stu
dents, and tlqUr discovery would, in
deed, lie a serious matter.
At last, the cemetery was reached,
ami they tied the horse to a fence
outside the enclosure. Taking the
tools from the wagon, they grouped
their way to the newly-made grave,
the location of which they had previ
ously ascertained. The rain had all
this time continued to fall in gusts,
anti it was so dark that they could
with difficulty distinguish objects hut
a few feet distant. The recently-re
moved dirt, however, rendered tiie
digging ca-y. and, as they worked rap
idly, tlit* lid of the coffin was som
:e idled.
One now unscrewed the lid of the
box. then of the coffin itself, and the
corn e was exposed. Nothiug but iis
faint tin!lines, however, could be di--
r. mod. It wa s the body of a girl of
twenty, slight and small, and was
lifted to the surface without difficul
ty.
Dairying it to the wagon, the body
snatchers covered it carefully with a
b .anker, and returned to the grave to
replace the dirt.
They had just grasped their tools,
and Arthur stood * with the uplifted
pick-axe in his hands, when a form
the cemetery, Harry Stanwood con
ceived the plan of trying to frighteu
Author and Dick. Stepping into a
public house frequented by the stu
dents, he wrote and sent the note which
the two students received as before
described. He then set out to walk
to the cemetery, which was much
nearer the public house than it was to
the college, intending to surprise the
resurrectionists in their work. He
arrived at the cemetery just as they
were lifting the bixly from the grave.
Itwas so dark that lie had no ditficul-
tyin hiding himself until what he
deemed the best time to make his
appearance arrived; and then he
stepped up to the grave and silently
confronted them.
. That his appearance had the inten
ded Lightening effect he instantly
saw; but when Aurthur, with his up
raised weapon, commanded him
speak, a strange paralyzed feeling came
over liiin. He tried to speak but
could not. He dodged aside as the
blow was struck, but not sufficiently
to avoid it entirely. The iron struck
near the bore of the brains, and, al
though it did not injure the skull, it
induced an immediate insensibility—a
cessation of all the functions of life,
such as are not uncommon in similaly
injuries to the cerebellum.
Unconsciousness immediately en
sued, and his btxlv, as we have seen,
was buried in the violated grave of the
girl.
Harry had no idea of how long it
was—really about four hours—before
he begun to return to a faint conscious
ness; and tm n it was with only a dim
remembrance of what had happened.
At first he felt ns it oppressed with a
horrible nightmare; then a recollec
tion of the night's adventure grew |
stronger, and finally he began to won
der where lie was. A feeling of oppres-;
-ive cl .>:-oness came over him, follow-1
ed h\ i ii.•.•reasing difficulty of;
breathing. i
e- s. him in the outer !
iiii iiic-.l the girl’s eof-'
th collin itself laid, in !
ns to leave con.-idera-;
iiu-.-ii pace, indeed, that:
: i iui-e himself upon ;
A letter of our Louisville correspon
dent, written on board the steamer
General Lytle, ((ill be found of more
than ordinary interest. The name of
the steamer recalls one of the most
chivalric and pleasing incidents of the
late war. It was in one of the battles
of the West—and which of them our
memory does not supply—that Gener
al Itoiiert H. Lytle, a member of the
Cincinnati press, who had risen not only
from printer to editor, but from private
to General, was killed far in advance
of his command while gallantly lead
ing an assault upon our lines. His horse
bore his corpse into our lines, and the
steed and his dead rider were both cap
tured. So soon as it was known that
the author of that rare pome, as famil
iar and as greatly admired South as
North, “I am Dying, Egypt, Dying,”
lay dead in the camp, officers and men
crowed around to take a last look at
the face of the poet-soldier who had achi
eved so great a literary triumph. There
was no rejoiceing over the death of this
fallen enemy, but there was a some
thing on each soldier’s check Ifint 'for
the moment washed away the stains of
to powder. Tenderly they took him, and
when the ltattle was over, an escort of
honor, appointed front among the- lead
ing Confederated officers, bore him
back to his own camp, under a flag of
truce, on a rudely constructed funeral
bier, with his martial cloak around him.
In life he had touched that chord of
human sympathy which makes all the
world kin “and in death its harmoni
ous vibrations silenced all resentment
and thrilled the hearts alike of friends
and iocs with a nobler passion than ha
tred or revenge.
t has written “Useful Hints
irlsj” as if any girl would
refered to her.
V why i3 a lady’s bustle
manufactured tobae(her).”
Mama, said a little boy who had
been sent to dry a towel before the
fire, is it done whenqts brown?
The politest gentleman we ever heard
of was a person who, on passing a set
ting hen, said, apologetically, “Don’t
rise, madam.”
Miss Tucker says it is with bachelors
as with old wood: it is hard to get
them started, but when they do take
flame they burn prodigiously.
The following sentence of only thir
ty-four letters contains of all the let
ters in the alphabet: “John quickly
extemporized five tow bags.”
“Floating down the sea of matrimo
ny, by the light of the honey-moon,”
is the way a city editor touchingly al
ludes to the marriage of his son.
“Talk about the jaws of death,” ex
claimed a man who was living with
his third scolding wife ; “I tell you
they’re no touch to the jaws of life.”
A Western editor informs a corres
pondent that the words “No cards” ac
companying a marriage notice signify
that the wedded pair don’t play poker.
A Southern newspaper advertises for
a freckel-faced man, that won’t back
down, with a juiir of saddle-bags, pis
tol and bowie-knife, to collect for that
paper.
Dr. I’arr thus characterized a de
ceased prelate: “Sir, lie is a poor,
paltry prelate, proud of petty populari
ty, and perpetually preaching to petti
coats.”
Stubbs wonders Where all the pillow
cases go to. He says l.e never asked a
girl what she was making, while engag-
in white sewing, without being told it
was a pillow case.
“If a man bequeathed you a hun
dred dollars, would you pray for him ?’’
sail! a Sunday-school teacher to a pu
pil. “No,” said he, “I’d pray for
another like him.”
An exchunge says the best way for
a lady to get the fashionable “tangle”
on her hair isto fill it full of corn meal
and set a lot of spring chickens to
scratching the meal out.
PROVERBS.
Men with the weightiest brains are
not always.thc best swimmers in the
sea of file.
A man must carry a good deal of
cork it lie would make sure of always
keeping afloat.
If men in general were liars, in vino
veritas would he an argument ibr drink-
“'**7 kept it up until both were j suddenly appeared before them — the
run passion, and finally the bride in outlines of a man dimly defined in the
Alley n:i'i
tjox : u:.; im ;
iin. and over
s, i h .. mail.i>
file •pac*' — •
Harry w.-.s .
hs elbow.
Won ier n
A man was boasting that he had
been married twenty years and Jiad
tiever given his wife a cross word.
Those w ho know say he didn’t dare to \
but he never mentioned it.
at the
iier tears aud her anger said she would
go home to her parents, and away she
went.
A few days or weeks of reflection
showed them both their exceeding folly,
and they readily y.elded to thesugges-
tiou of friends that they were a couple
of little fools and had better come to
gether again, which they did.
'luce more seated at their cheerful.
tea-table iu the cosiest of rooms, and
"‘PPy * n the thought that they were
^esu>reil to their own sweet home, they
. **1 a(, rass the table into each other’s
aiu ' one of them said, laughingly,
10 the other:
' a ’ ’ l not foolish for us to make
;,i„ I-*/ UsS about that good-for-noth-
S nuie mouse v”
w<u , h -’’ dear, it wasn’t a mouse ; it
a rat.” ’
it niviio’]£" Ve ’ ' l was a ,aouse - I saw
a rat”” *° ilu, l I am sure it was
bodtivJ 0 ^ 11 went again, one as
,iU... unyielding as the other,
tore / T er f 118 ma ‘l as they were be-
fathl.r n< * i*k, e went off to her
tether 8U< ^ 1 ,at eu< ^ e< ^ their living to-
«<tolJf£ei^^" u ;v.„ cha P L ’. ^
ter i>n( i,. IT out °li ter the minis-
chiifken k l ^° j 0U * e » not being of the
to the ,k' n d, calmly turned
there’s a !! mble J ladies and said, “If
copy th^-, - 881 here that ’ n °®*
wCST 1 situation, I’m heFn,
lalse-hca r teif he youn 8 e r 81 « ter * the
me in • I . exclaimed, “Count
morn* was ,w Rfn ^’” a , nd the “ra
the partied 0 t0 th ® deHght of
murky air,
The two students gazed for an in
stant as if paralvzed ; and when Ar
thur Moore spoke it was with a forced
calmness.
“Who are you,” he asked, “friend or
foe?”
There was no answer from the mo
tionless figure.
“Speak,” said Arthur, “or, by
Heaven! this grave shall hide our
crime!”
Still no answer; but the hand was
seen to go to the breast, as if for a
weapon. Then there was a gurgling
cry as the pick-ax descended, and the
form fell to the ground.
“My God!” cried Dick, “what
have you done ?”
“Saved us from the State Prison,”
replied Arthur, “perhaps saved our
lives, for he was about to draw a
weapon;” jy.,,.
The form lay motionless, Arthur
bent over it, felt the still pulse, and
looked closely into the dead face.
“Great heaven, Dick!” he cried,
“It is Harry Stanwood!”
Petrified by the terrible occurrence,
the young men stood irresolute.
“Whatshall we do?” finally asked
Dick.
“There is but one thing to do,” re
plied Arthur in a voice that sounded
strangely unnatural; we must hide
the evidence of my cursed blunder.
We will bury poor Harry in the grave
we have robbed.”
flashed upon
“I am buried
strange and
y darkness
and the earthly smell, Harry put out
h.s hands, oniy to come in contact
with the damp ground. At once the
horror of his po-ilion
him.
“My God!” he cr'cd,
alive!”
His voice sounded
stifled, and he choked with the effort
to draw in a full breath. The air was
last becoming exhausted. Already he
could breathe with difficulty. He
tried to shout for aid, but the hollow
sound of his voice mocked his foolish
effort. There was nothing to do but
die a terrible death. lie frantically
clutched the earth, and the cover of
the cotfiu above him; but even as he
did so his strength failed, he gasped for
breath, and sank back again into un
consciousness.
lie is scarcely a desirable friend
whom you must make drunk to make
truthful.
One ot the greatest misfortunes of
the present day i- that the public will
only hc-ar him upon it, and no one else.
You may take tiie altitude oft a
mail’s tastes by hi- stories and his wit,
and of his under landing by tiie re
marks which he repeats.
A man who finds new arguments
often has to wait for new understand
ings.
A quick surrender saves much bat
tery.
No money is better spent than that
which is laid out for domestic satisfac
tion.
Self censure is often oblique praise.
Tell a man of any handsome thing
which has been said of him by an
other, but do not repeat the unhand
some.
If a man talks of his misfortunes,
depend upon it they are not altogether
disagreeable to him.
Do not throw up the game upon
losing a trick.
There would be a marvellous refor
mation if the world would only throw
open its iron gates to Love.
It was scarcely light on the morning
after the tragedy when Jjhn Wilson,
the sexton, and Bill Turner, has as
sistant, entered the cemetery. They
carried digging utensils over their
shoulders, being about to dig a grave.
Their way led by the grave which the
students had robbed, and its appear
ance at once attracted their attention.
The manner in which Arthur and
Dick had replaced the coffin and its
box occupied more room than they
hadorginally done; consequently, all
the dirt could not be disposed of in the
manner they had found it. In their
excitement and the darkness, the stu
dents had not noticed this, but the
altered appearance did not escape the
attention of the grave-diggers.
“There’s something wrong here,”
said the sexton, “and! know just what
Tenderly and reverently they placed it means. The grave has been robbed
the dead bixly in the open grave, and j by those students.”
carefully replaced the earth, rounding His companion coincided,
over the mound as they had found it. j “We can soon find out,”
All this time they had not exchanged; the sexton, “by
The Wonders of Assyria.—
George Smith, of London, in his dig
gings into Hie ancient site of the once
great city of Nineveh, has unearthed
the recently missing fragments of the
old Assyrian record of the Deluge;
and, better still, he has found a library
in stone of an Assyrian King. Thus,
after the lapse of thousands of years,
the secrets of the mighty nations and
peoples of the past are coming to light
—as, for instance, in the late discoveries
in Jerusalem and Cyprus, and in the
buried ruins of the Temple of Diana
and ancient Troy, and now in these
Assyrian treasures. Best of all, that
solid old book the Bible, comes out of
all these tests like gold from the cru
cible.
A fond husband boasted to a friend:
“Tom, the old woman came near call-
lug meJioney last night.” “Did she,
Hill? What did she say ?” Rhe said;
“Well, old Beeswax, come to supper.”
The editor of a Western ])«pcr writes:
“My wife and I have separated. As
we both wanted to he boss, and she was
likely to boat me, I left her. She says
she will nail me yet, and I believe
her.”
A-boarding house fiend tells the sto
ry that, in a recent thundqr storm, the
warring of the elements was so awe
inspiring that the hair in a dish of but
ter in the pantry turned completely
white during the night.
Recitation in metaphysics : “Profes
sor—Which is the most delicate of the
senses?- senior—ihe sense of touch.
Professor—Give an example. Senior
—My chum pan feel his moustache;
hut no one can see it.”
“Professor,” said a student in pur
suit of knowledge concerning the hab
its of animals, “why does a cat. while
eating, turn Iter head first one way
and then another ?” “For the reason,”
replied the Professor, “that she cannot
turn it both ways at once.”
Josh Billings says that the difference
between a blunder and mistake is this:
Whctraman puts down a had umbrel
la and takes up a good one, he makes
a mistake; but when he puts down a
good one and takes up a bad one, lie
makes a blunder.
Gentlemen of the jury,” charged a
Western judge, “in this case the coun
sel on both sides are unintelligible, the
witnesses on both sides are incredible,
and the plaintiff and defendant are
both such characters, that to me it is
indifferent which way you give a ver
dict.”
We heard a lawyer and a doctor dis
puting the other day about a bill a fel
low owed each of them. He was on
ly able to pay one, and left it with them
to settle which should have it. “Why,
I ought to have the money, of course,”
said the lawyer, “I saved the fellow
from going to. the penitentiary,"
Far south, in the Indian Ocean," in
the midst of almost eternal surf -and
spray, rises what is appropriately term
ed Danger Island. Of all the" lonely
spots on the globe whose existence has
been', ascertained this is probably the
most lonely. Once only since the
creation has it been known tobe visited
by man. The sea for many hundred
miles rolls and flashes over a shallow
bottom, till, arriving at a certain degree
of latitude, the floor of rock abruptly
terminates, and the ocean becomes in
a moment of unfathomable. depth.
On the very edge of this abyss stands
Dange? Island, which the least touch
of an earthquake, or an umisual'stroke
of hurricane, may some day topple
oyer into the bottomless gulf. From
-»•»'* has
never attempted to-ewet- bis d wellings'
upon it; there it stand.% in the midst
of the surge, over canopied by the
bluest of bine skies, surrounded by a
boundless expanse of waves, generally
shining and beautiful, but as little
specked by sails as if they girdled an
uninhabited planet. Yet, though
gale is astir, the billows incessantly
fret aud foam against the cliffs of
Danger Island, which on all sides de
scend sheer into the deep, so as to ap
pear from a distance perfectly inucces
sible.
A surveying ship, traversing the
ocean in all directions for scientific
purposes, once approached this wild
rock. The weather was calm and
lovely; the waves, usually so restless,
Ixiiug aflorded by the wind no pretext
for climbing and roaring about the
cliffs, lay still and smooth, as if to en
trap the unwary mariner. Taking ad
vantage of the occasion, a few daring
young officers oidered a boat to be
lowered, and pushing off with many a
sturdy rower from the ship’s side, soon
drew near the perpendicular precipices
of Danger Island, Nature has perhaps
nowhere in all her domains produced
so strange and fairy a spot. As the
men rested on their oars, and looked
up, they beheld trees of dense and
beautiful foliage throwing out their
arms over the cliffs on all sides, while
birds of the mo3t variegated aud bril
liant plumage seemed to hang like
clustering tiowers on the boughs.
Having never been disturbed by man,
they were ignorant that this approach
boded them mischief, so that if they
now and then quitted their perches,
and spread out their dazzling wings,
it was only ia frolic and sport. After
rowing to a considerable distance along
the foot of the precipices, the gentle
men discovered a small fissure, through
which they felt confident they could
climb to the summit; and the boat be
ing pushed quite close to the rocks,
two or three of the most-daring lauded,
and after no slight toil and peril, reach
ed the top. The prospect which then
presented itself was truly extraordinary.
Rendered green as an emerald by the
agency of hidden springs, the whole
surface of the islet was thickly strewn
with eggsof innumerable oceanic birds,
which, rising from the task of incuba
tion, formed a canopy of fluttering
wings overhead. The eggs were of all
colors—white, light, chocolate, and
cerulean blue, dotted with brown or
crimson or turquoise or black. Here
and there little bills pcotruded from
the
scared away for a moment by the un
usual apparition of men, soon alighted
near the young, being, in spite of the
name of their home, thoroughly unac
quainted with 'danger. It might al
most be said that the whole surface of
the isle formed but one nest, divided
into several compartments, where the
naturalist, if be could live on eggs,
might study the appearance, habits,
and character of half the winged
dwellers on the deep.
’** : *A BEAD
«m«|
A German of
wn lost his wife by death abbut a ycjt
ago. Ou her death bed tiie wife exact
ed a solemn promise from the husbaud
that he would never marry again. He
was sincere at the time, ana fully be
lieved that he wAs willing to remain a
mourning widower jtbe rest of his days.
A few months ago, however, he began
to feel a warm affection for a lady up
In due time he proposed
town,
was ^accepted.'
and
The promise to the
dead was disregarded in his affobtidtr
for the li™
sensible ofL.
a was disturbed And hafinted with'
easant dreams; ’qw 1
the accusing presence of his vHfvf
brooded over him, until tltc n 4
of night to him was f tie-sure coming iff
terror. -HiS : appetite failed him. he'
wasted away in flesh, and his spirits
sunk below a zero standard: Still he
persisted in his intentions to wed, with
all these premonitions of evil staring
him in the face.
The marriage day was settled, and
the miserable man mads the necessary
preparations. He ordered from the
confectionery a wedding cake, of size
and quality commensurate with the oc
casion. The baker was cognizant of
the man’s circumstances, and warned
him against his contemplated step, but
all to no avail. Wed be would. The
baker made the cake. It contained
the usual quantity of indigestion, and
was ns elegant an article as could be
desired. When it was done he put ir
carefully away in another room with a
number of other nightmare-provoking
cakes, covering it with a glass protec
tor. The door was locked and the
baker retired.
This was Tuesday night, and the
marriage was to take place on the day
followiug. The man who would marry
met his betrothed aud his friends in the
evening and was married. The cake
was sent for. The baker, with profes
sional pride, opened the locked door
and entered for the cake, when lo!
the cake lay strewn upon the floor, the
glass case was shivered t.> pieces—and
yet not a thing Imd entered the room
in his absence. The news added a new
ghostly feature to the groom’s unhappy
surroundings. His superstitious neigh
bors say that the ghost of the departed
signified her disapprobation of the
second marriage by ruthlessly destroy
ing the wedding cake, and the honey
moon of the determined widower was
turned into gall and bitterness.
tury have good reason to be proud
if the first fathers of? Freemason®
They point with legitimate pride to
those stately and superb edifi<»v tho
roaster-pieces of architectural" •skill,
which are among the chief ornaments
of not only of these islands, hat ofii
Continental Europe, , the cathedral
buildings, which the preseut century,
With all its resources and triumphs^
over the material world, can never ex-**
feHtt beauty off design «ar tlfcj ely.ll
eiaJxjdied,. and
oerdiptt
lutldings arq.tuiT
ffsons, auff bearSmneS
rtfct«*!r»!«i*i*lfc Jfc’rfect'know lodge
rJblolx they possessed aftftllv th%SMS
^ureps-of tbeir j art,flgd,p(ft, '
heir, professional kuowled
to those great moral qua
dustry, temperance, mutual help,
trust, to their perfect order and organi
zation, without which, works so stupen
dous could never have been brought to
a successful result.
These virtues and this organization
are still cherished by tiie Speculative
Masons a- their most sacred inheritance?'
and be it remembered that the results v
which they aimed at were the same
aimed at by us—the glory of God and
the good of men ; though the means
by which those results were sought,-
were soiucwlmt different; in one case
a material building, in the other a
spiritual temple.
A Clown’s Sermon.—The Virginia
papers report that during the exhibi
tion of a traveling mefiagerie and circus
in a -town in that State, where there
was at the. time some religious convoca
tion in fessionTTKe'pamtecT jester of
the equestrian ring illustrated his own
serious capacity and greatly affected an’
audience in which many church mem
bers were present, by delivering the
followiug homily:
“ My Friends—We have taken in
six hundred dollars here to-day, more
money, I venture to say, than any
minister of the gospel "in this com
munity would receive for a whole year's
services. A large portion of" this'
money was given by church members,
and a large portion of this audience is
hells; and the mothers, though made up of members of the church.
And yet, when your preacher asks you
Borrowing from Your Neigh
bors.—Housekeepers will be surprised
a word — horror at the terrible result) Wherewith they fell to with a will, 'you have a hell to go to.”
The master of a workhouse in Essex
was once called in to act as chaplain
to a dying pauper. The poor soul
faintly murmured some hopes of hea
ven; but this the master abruptly cut
( short, and warned him to turn his
continued j thoughts towards hell. “And thank-
ful you ought to be,” said he, “that
to leant that their custom of sending
in to a neighbor to borrow a little but
ter or sugar or other articles of diet is
quite common among the savages of
Fiji. When a lady in Fiji lias some
friends to dinner unexpectedly, she
goes over to the woman uciross the way
and says: “Yak-yak, and bis family
have just dropped in to dine, and I
haven’t a thing in the house. How do
you think your hired girl would work
up into a stew ? Can 1 borrow her for
a few days ? Then she seizes that do
mestic by the hair, and drags her over,
chop; her up with parsley, and carrots,
aud celery-tops and cloves, and lets
heftiramcr over the fire. Or may be
the other woman sends over and says,
“ I’m entirely out of meat; can you
lend me your little William Henry for
hash, or your Mary Jauo for a pie ?”
And over go William Henry and Mary
Jane, and they are stuck with a fork
and basted and put on to cook gently;
and the debt is paid off the next week
by the borrower sending back her aunt,
already boiled and suitable for cutting
down cold for tea, or one of her twins
corned so as* to make a nice lunch.
Sometimes a woman iu this manner
will work off a couple of her mothers-
in-law or a rich uncle or u plump second
cousin, and then she will sit at her
window and sniff them as they are
cooking in the kitchen next door, or
watch ono of the company in the diu-
ing-room nibbling at the elbow of Iter
late hired girl. The custom seems to
us au excellent one, particularly when
it is applied to hired girls. We have
to aid iu supporting the gospel, you are
too poor to give anything. Yet you
come here and pay dollars to hear me
talk nonsense. I uni a fool because I
urn pad for it; I make ntv living by
it. You profess to be wise, and yet you
support me in my folly. But perhaps
you say you did not come to see the
circus, but the animals. If you canto
to see the animals, why did you. not
simply look at them and leave ? Now,
is this not a pretty place for Christians
to be in ? Do you not feel ashamed
of yourselves? You ought to blush
in such a place as this.”
T".e sensation following a speech like
this, in such a place, front such a
speaker, may be imagined. The local
clergy availed themselves of the spirit
thus produced ; a religious revival was
attempted, and a collection for foreign
missions resulted in the sum of four
dollars and a half.
Coffee Making.—Bad coffee—we
might say execrable coffee—is the rule
on American tables. This is not Itc-
cnusc the raw material is bad, for there
is always a supply of excellent Java
and Rio coffee, (to say nothing of other
varieties) in market, but because it is
not properly treated. It is often bad
ly roasted ; it is afterwards permitted
to lose its flavor by exposure to the
air; it is generally too coarsely ground ;
it is almost always boiled too much
and not well settled; it is served with
raw, instead of boiled milk—all of
which are fatal errors. Avoid them
and—1. Procure good raw coffee; 2.
Roast (it in a closed vessel if practica
ble,) till the oil ap(>cars on the surface
of the berry and no longer; 3. Grind
very fine aud keep in a glass self seal
ing can, or grind only so much as is
required for use at one time; 4. If
boiled at all let it be not over three
minutes, and be well settled; 5. It is
best made b/ filtering boiling water
through it in a French coffee pot, or by
inclosing it in a flannel bag to be sus
pended in the pot, and then pouring
boiling water upon it, in which way no
A Little Fun wmt IIofiuns.—*•
Some years ago, says Max Adier ip
Saturday Night, a new lire company
was organized at Reading, and the
members one evening thought they
would have a little innocent^fin at the
expense of Hopkins, their foreman.
They decided to rush around with thq
engine to Hopkins’ house after dark,
to throw up their ladders, pull out their
hose, climb on his rool and scare him
with the belief that his dwelling was
on fire. But that very day Hopkins
moved out of the house, and a Pres
byterian clergyman moved in, without
thecompany lieiugaware of the change.
.So about eight A’clock the humorists
dashed out, aud went through all the
movements, getting on the roof and
splashing water around, aud creating n
terrific* disturbance generally. Arivul
company, noticing what was going on,
also hurried to the scene, and without
understanding the joke, attached their
hose to a plug, smashed in the front
windows, and began to empty a two*
inch stream on the family of that
Presbyterian clergyman. They squirt
ed into all the rooms, split lip the
window-shutters with an axe, broke
down the front door, ran out the furni
ture, tore off the shingles, and bawled
through the trumpets until the hired
girl had convulsions cn the kitchen
stairs. Tiie first company tried to ex
plain, but the new-comers thought an
effort was being made to get them out
of the way, aud a fight ensued, and
presently firemen were sliding off the
roof, and pelting down the chimneys,
and bleeding over the entry carpet, ami
having boisterous encounters with
spanners and brass horns on the stairs.
And the next .morning that Presby
terian divine and his family nfbved out.
They raid the place seemed to lie Ado
animated and sensational for a quiet,
domestic circle. They wnntcd a house
where there was more calmness and
peace; where they could have Wore
security fot* their privacy and pianos,
and for their , front doors and shingles
and peace of mind and window sashes.
Nine.—A Dutchman went to the
lottery office of Louisville the other
day and inquired lor ticket No. 9. lie
either wanted 9, or 99, or 999, or 99,-
999. But no other number would
satisfy him. On inquiry ns to bis
reasons for this particular number, the
following facts in his life were learned ;
He came to this country when 9 years
old. After he had been- here. 9 years
be got married. Nine mouths after
his wedding his wife gave him a child.
The baby when 9 days old was christen
ed. He lived with his \yifo 9 years,
and during tlmt period she presented
him with 9 children. Tlteti lie had a
fuss with her, and she banged him over
the head !) times with the stave of it
beer keg, fiom the effects of which lie
lay in bed 9 days. He left that Wife
then, and lmd been a grass widower
just 9 years on the day he applied for
the ticket. . He hoped with ticket No.
9 to draw money enough to recuperate
his finances, which were reduced to 89,
which he offered for the ticket. On
being informed that there was no
ticket remaining, the number of which
was composed entirely of 9’s, he looked
dejected, but immediately wentoutand
drank 9 glasses of beer. Theu he re
turned and said he would wait until
only 9 tickets, were left, and then take
them all.
An Affecting Story.—The fol
lowing account of a heart-rending cir
cumstance we extract from an ex
change : “We once taw a young man
inlOcely gnzingat the*ry heavens with
a f in 1 and a /->—>. of pistol^ in
the other. We endeavored to attract
his attention by .ing to a % in a paper
which we held in our WS", relating 2 a
youug man in that § of the country
who left home in ast8of derangement.
“Well,” said thei doctor^ “1[raved him had g l^ whom we wo b uld have loaued
from going to hell 1” It is needless to
add who got the money.
A good story, says the Advertiser, is
told of a Montgomery (Ala.) man who,
haying sat up the greater part of the
night before, fell asleep in his pew at
church the next morning. Aroused
from his slumbers by one of the ste
wards, the first thing his eys rested up
on was the the contribution box, and
in that bewilderment of mind which
generally follows a sudden awakening,
he put it geQtly . aside with the re
mark: “No, thank youl I never
smoke,” and relapsed into his doze
once more.
to a neighbor at any time under a
solemn promise that they should be
butchered and boiled as quickly as
possible.
I. C. Canby, brother of the late Gen.
Canby, while on his way home from
Indianapolis, where his brother’s fune
ral was -attended, became violently
insane and has been put in the asylum
at Fulton. Iu his ravings, while held
down, he calls on “Jack” to hold on,
and tells every body to “forward
march.” Mr. Canby is about 53 years
boiling water upon it, in which way no He dro p pcd , he t and pistol? rom
settling is required and no aroma is ^ wlththe! «f tia I 0 f w hnn»
lost; 6. Let it be very strong and — -----
dilute with rich boiled milk, adding
cream, if you have it; 7. Sweeten
with white sugar. If you do not like
coffee made in this way—well, tastes
differ. We think it delicious.
Au editor in Fredericksburg, Va.,
was asked by a stranger “ if it was
possible that little town kept up four
newspapers,” and the reply was “ No,
it takes four newspapers to keep up the
town,”
U read j I left hopie b4 my friends
knew of my design. I had sQ ithe
B8T of a girl who nad refused 2 lislO
2 me, but smiled upon another. I
ed madly from the house uttering.
a wild I 2 to the god of love (Qnid),.
and without replying to the ?? of my-
relations, came here with.a fand<=J—.
of pistols 2 put au end 2 mV ^islOee.
My case has no || in this 40tude
and Abearance R required under such
perplexing circumstances,”
Lorono, in the north of Spain, threat-,
ens soon to become the scene of a great
The verses sent to us addressed “To
old, and apparently in good health,! Nanoy Ann,” are respeotfully but firm- battle between the Carlists. aud the
physically. j It declined.
| Republicans.
.it
y
