Newspaper Page Text
(T 0
w* C.
L C s P
|Jori|tast <®forgtaa.
PUm.ISHED
OAT WEDNESDAY MORNING
BY
H. H. CARLTON & Co.,
Proprietors.
H. II. CARLTON, Editor.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION:
—j 0 j—
ONE COPY, Ono Year, $ 2 OO
FI VE COPIES, One Year, 6 78
TEN COPIES. Ono Year, 18 OO
Yt/e OJ/lcial City 'Paper
A MAP OF BUSY LIFE.
Kates of Advertising.
r -
3
( l
t 00 17 * 2 2
» JUO 4 0
:i 0 , 4 v> 5
1 IO 5 7'• 7 2
iiO 8
No. 294 Athens, Georgia, Wednesday, May 19, 1876.
5 OLD SERIES—Volume LIII.
I NEW SERIES—Volume III.
It
ve
PUBLIC.VTION OFFICE:
JVo. 7, G&JtJTlTM SVJt.
(OD-StaIrs,)
ATHENS, GEORGIA.
Rates of Advertising:
Transient advertisements, of one square or more,
Si 00 per square for tbe firstinaertiou, and 75cents
for each subsequent insertion. * rl '* :
no. All advertisements considered transient
except where special contracts are made.
Twelve lines space of this type (or one Inch)
make one square.
fl^For contract prices, see schedule.
Poetical.
2 73, 5 001 6 3‘
5 00 9 00;12 Or
6 75 12 0;», 16 n.
8 50.14 50 IS
25,17
25 00 36
Otijil V> 29 00 42
50 24 75
J *1
.' I. “
6 >0, 8 25 SO 25 12 00 19 i
7 »K)‘ 9 5111 75 13 7 V 22 00! 27 00
i «XJ 10 7 » 13 25,15 50,24 50 29
• 0 11 50 14 75 »7 25 27 0Q’3i I
J • » 0 ) ;6 00 18 -25 *29 25] 36 0»•
) -V! M . 0 17 2512» 25 31 50 37 So
i 5 00 13 50 21 75 S3 75| 40 <H»
10 iH 19 75 3 25j3i 00i 1*2 50
17 -M 21 0 i 24 75 34 *23' i5 00
13 .n 22 25’*6 23,40 50' 47 50
i :n 2> 19 o i 2 1 5** 27 7.5 42 75 50 0t
1 1 ; u.» A 21 . 0 29 00 14 75 32 23
»Sj ' * ->’> -'■> *m* . » 50 30 23]4 i 75 34 .50
3 9 •. 7 - 2 Jti 50 31 50i 48 75 56 75
.’■) -'2 "J 27 .Ml 32 7 . 5*1 7 .1 9 00
' 1 i.71 22 75iij 513 4 00 52 7 ;6I 25
2. 25 59 29 5) 35 23 54 7 (613)
25 7 75 2 1 25 30 50 3 1 50! * 75*5 73
24|I3 03 24 75 31 25 37 Mi S 5jtf 73 w
2513 23 ’25 25 3*2 no 3-1 >9 79 73» 95 (W.3»
26 13 51*25 V* 12 75 3i* o » 02 0 :t ;.V 93 0»|i
27! 13 7.3 25 . . 5 l 4;» :j< 77 75 T -IItM) 0*;141
23 19 00 '2 « 25 41 5 ; * i 7**tl^l (K»jll4
29 13 50 * .*5 00 4 2 30,07 i:5; 7 7)|L‘5 00jl47
17 00l 22
21 Oil] 30
3-1 00 48
37 00 34
41 00 61
45 00I 66
48 50 71
52 00 76
55 50 81
39 00 86
G2 50 91
66 00| 96
63 50 ICI
72 50 105
7.5 30 109
73 50 113
81 50 117
84 5) 121
- a 73 44 53! TO
!(3 00!l59
3.-, 19
Katu5 of Legal Advertising.
C tation for Letters of t*uardian«hiP .... $5 00
Citatmu for tail n of AdiniuiMratlun 4 00
App) v-ation lor Leltcra of MiamLiiion Adm’r.. 400
Ap|d;<*itioii for letters of f»l*m’oi» Guard.... 5 00
Appii«*ati*>n for i-eavc to Sell Land* 5 no
Notice t*» l*eMors an:l »’r*dit*n 3 00
tt.il** of Ltud, Ac., p^r s iuure . 5 0o
K%les l*erah.th!e Propeny, todays, per sq .... 1 53
Edray Notices, 30 days 3 00
hhsri if Sales, pe** levy of 10 lines or !•«* 2 50
Sheriff >f**r;sr«g ? 5- fa Sales per square 3 00
Tax Uilloelsr’i .-‘ales. per square 5 00
Foreclosure M *rt'ige, per square, each time, i 00
Eirm^.tion Noil. t* (In advancr) 2 00
Rule Nisi’s, per square, each time .. 1 GO
Business A Profss’n’l Cards.
psFsicmMr
•y^U. A C. F»»x OFFERS Ills PROFESSION*
1^/ al Services to the citiiens of Athens and
viciniiy.
Office ai ths Dr 14 Shire «*f R. T. Brumby &, To.,
ColU ge A villus, Alliens. Ga. 2l-:f
g M. HE It lUXGTON,
Notary Public and Ex-Oificio
Justice of the Peace.
Office over L. J. Lambkin >* roe. March 31-Tmj.
P 0. THOMPSON.
* Attorney at L uv,
Spt’ltl MUiatton paid tocriminal pnwtlc*. For
rc*or«Dc« »ppl' 10 Ex. Oo», T. II. Wx’ta ind Hon.
P.Tld O iptoo, U uitcoTu^ry Ala. OOca -i.cr
Barry’* Sort, Athana, o.jrgia, Foh.J.tf.
A*a M. Jackson...
. I.. \V. TuoiiAS.
JiiKSOH Si THOMAS,
Attorneys at Law
•rlt/iois, Georgiit.
ERWIN & OollB
[For tbo Northeast Georgian.]
FAREWELL TO MY MOTHER’S TOMB.
A MONODY WCITTKX ON LE..YINO ATUXNS.
near Mother! when I saw thine eyea
Cloae in tha marble sleep of death,
Love’s frantic and despairing criea
Attested thy departing breath ;
But Time, the llealer, apakc in tones
Of soothing to my anguished heart,
Yet filled with life’s fell pang, and groans,
I wished myself e’eu as thou art!
And oft at ere I loved to roam
Beside tiie turf that wraps thy clay,
And dream of my young childhood's home
In that bright clime so far awav
Where thou, all angel-like, didst reign
The Qiteeu of thy domestic realm,
And lauuebed my life-bark on the main
Willi tear of (sod to guide ths helm !
O, oft I’ve sat. whan dewa fell (sit,
And starry eve crept o'er the scene,
Aud prayed 'mid tears still lulling fast
Above that sacred mound of graen,
That from the heavenly heights of blits
Thy spirit would look down on mine,
And with an lutereeseoi'. Llo,J
Win for me blessings all divine I
And atauch times, my darling dead,
I tell how near Ibuu we’rt to mo
Such little space above thy bead
The iun was printed by my knee;
And souu, oh ! soon, l felt that I
Beside thee, breathless as Ibuu art.
Should lu thy icy realm, too, lie.
The deathless iova in my dead heart!
But now, alas! the stern decree
Bids me to distant lauds to go.
To leave thee. Mother, c.ea the.-,
A very exile in my <> o;
Bui I shall love thee belli r f r
When abaenen from Iby dust L. pain,—
Shall press tu ire fondly life's fierco war,
Thy blcased presence to regain !
Yet gently «h:ii thine ashes sleep,
To, ugh tar my eaiiod feet shall roam.
Tended by one whoan hands shall keep
Within the shadow of her home
Thy tomb still docked with fragrant flowers—
Hue who did love thee in thy life.
And toothed thee through the struggling hours
Which closed thy mortal being’s strife!
O, I (bait know thee iu that sphare,
Though far apart our tombs ou earth.
By that awesl angal smile which L te
All other unites were doubly a
And by tny words of welcome as eel
To greet ou high itm-o errant .ou
He,to.1 bis weary, waudormg iovt,
T bts and immortal glory won.
Athens, Oa., May, UTS.
B. B. E.
c
Attorneys at Late,
ATHENS, GA.
*0* 011 *• in L>#u|irc« U.i.l Ji:i£
yy II. LTITLE,
attorney at Lair,
CARNESVILLF., GA.
J
OilX T. OSBORN,
Attoniey-at-LaTV
ELDERTON, GA.
UV.l
G;r.*ti \
Wen r
I Fur ike Northeast Georgian.}
LlMeaS.
Lone is the dream, *ml fled the inspiiation,
That lo my 1 fe 1 tiiought would still belong ;
Los: (he (heme, and lost the »we t vocaiicn,
Aud s.lent now, the lijs once glad with song.
Quiet the heart that once could beat 90 fondly,
Thrilling with hopes the lips dar. J no: to speak—
Uo*e.Honcc red and passionately burning,
Faded to a*hcs on the pallid chuck.
S D0HTCM,
Attorney at Latr,
CAKNE-SVIU.E,- O.V.
E. A. WILLI YMnON,
PRACTIGAL
WATCHM'KER sndJEWElLER
AI f»r. King’s Drug - lore,
BR Ml) STREEr \T1IENS, GA.
VII *v *rk d-i’ie *i 1 s i;>crior m.inn r, :nd
w irra.iie i lo ^irti i.l'».:i *n. jan:l-if
Coid seemed the heart I learned to love so blindly.
Wasted the bloom ih-t filled ray car.y years ;
No coming time can touch my life more kindly,
N ,r smooth the traces of my bitter tear*.
Now to the portr.l* of a nameless sorrow
My feci have lied and left the world no trace,
And in the future wads no glad lo nmrr..w
To wear the old-time smile upon its fnc
n i:d g’f.
San Francisco. 1875.
little heathen, as there were very
little heathen until the settlement
of New York city. She couldn’t
play th t piano, because she had
none. Had she possessed one of
those boons, she would probably
have driven her husband out of
Paradise without the intervention
of the serpent. !She could not
paint or draw. There wasn't a
drawer on earth at that time, to
say nothing of a pair of’em. She
could not embroider, her worsted
work was a success; she worsted
the whole human race. She
couldn’t receive calls, except when
Adam called her; and she got no
invitations out to ten. She was
j totally ignorant of the delights of
shopping, and never attended a
matinee in all her life. When
she went out to promenade, she
never looked around to see what
other women had on.
Every thing seemed to go well
with Eve until fruit season set in,
and then—well, every child knows
the story. She was tempted into
an apple tree to pluck some fruit
that wasn’t quite ripe and fell.
Adam fell, too—that is, he fell to
aud helped her eat it, although
with a meanness somewhat char
acteristic of his sex, lie endeavor
ed to throw all the blame on the
woman detected. Too lazy to
shake the tree himself, he was
ready enough to partake of the
fruit when brought to his hand.
After ihis/oi/x pan, Adam and
Eve were obliged to take their
respective leaves of Eden. They
were tig leaves. Eve had suddenly
( become pussesse i with a love of
j dress, and from th it early period
1 until the present, tint love has
gradually increased among the
sex, until now it amounts to a
veritable passion with some of
them. Eve founded a very exten
sive family. Besides the Massa
chusetts Adams, the entire human
race might trace back to Mr. and
Mrs. Adams, if their trace is long
enough. We don’t learn that Eve
cut up \ cry much af.cr the aff. ir
iu the garden. If she 'raised
Caiu,’ it was because Cain was
tough and hearty. If he had been
a sit kly child, perhaps she would
not have been able to raise him
It is recorded that Adam reached
the old age ot nine hundred and
thirty years before he died, but
no mention is made of Eve’s age
when she passed away. The well-
] known antipathy to telling her age
I which characterizes women iu all
ages and under every clime, may
| perhaps account for this.—Boston
i Paper.
Misccl'ancous Si lections.
MOTHER EVE.
WILEY CHILDERS,
Ol.’A i’r.i) in this city, is pr^jiarfd
10 HI • .til ktr» ?•* of Carpenters' Work in the
>iyio, .tilt ..vixanalilt* rat-**, with dispatch.
i*> n t*. : xx'a: ui lUs Jitv Clerk’s Office.
GEO. W. CODDER,
Carria re and 1 ••ugtiy
Lltrrj liable.
I > ■. u i tCoLAK attention ^iven to
I. .ill joas. OrJ-.T» leik with A. B.II,
%t Sum.mil A Xcwtoa'., will re.vive pninpt at-
tion. June 17 tf
A.. A . AVI N N.
—- with—
'GROOVER, STUBBS &<i).
Cotton I- actors,
—ASCII—
Sensral Commission Merchants
Savannah* On.
Dieting. Tin*. It>p>, tn-l ot!i«r Sappli*. fur-
•i*b*l. Alns Mbnr.il C».h A-Wtncni m»-.le un
.nu'inminii for Mil# orahlpmnut If Ur*r|H«.l
Knrthern poru. oiySO-if
livery, feed and Sale Stable,
ATH3^3, a.
OA.NN & UEtViiS ... i-ROPMETORS
BE FOUND AT THEIR
»l l »t*n I. rt.tr Fr uik»ia,«iu4-ie buiitl »*g,
'I •»»■» i» *• . <C««*p alw ty* «mi h t:i 1 >;t**xl Turn
out* iu ! c «m n! tlrlveit.
Au>clc wall careJ i+t waati antru -tad lu our car«.
SUCk on ban 1 f.*r «alo «i all limes. tWi-13-lf
THE
BIOGRAPHY OF AN EMINENT WOMAN BY
ONE WIlo KNEW HER WELL.
I11 writing biographies of emi
nent women, it is tit that we begin
with mother Eve herself. Eve
belonged to one of our first fami
lies ; in fact, the very lirst. Sh
was related to the tir-t man on
the Adam side, although she had
a deep cause to regret that sht
ever left Adam's side. Philoso
phers who have probed deep into
the subject, connect Eve’s early
career as a rib with the female
fondness for a ribbon. Eve be
came Mrs. Adam, and they lived
very happily together for a time.
There was no other woman for
her to be jealous of, and her hits
band wasn’t pestered with dress
makers’ bills. She wasn't tortured
bv discovering love letters from
unknown females in Adam’s coat
tail pockets, and Adam never
blew her up boeause buttons
weren't sewed on. Eve never saw
a fashion-book or a fashion-plate
never wore high-heeled boots (sht
made a slip, hut she couldn't make
a slipper.) or shoes ; and if there
had been lots <>f newspapers
printed, she wouldn't have know
how to make back numlitrs avail
able. It never occurred to In r to
go into the lecture field, : nd a:
for voting, she didn't know what
that meant If they were going
out to an evening party, shedidu
keep Adam waiting for her to
dress until he was ready to Adam
everything, and he was never
known to come home with anoth
er’s hat or overcoat on.
How Eve could have lived with
out some other women » > gossip
with, it is hard to linderst-md at
this day, but she did. Adam is
supposed to have Iteen kept in a
glow of continual happiness by the
reflection that he hadu t an."
mother-in-law hanging around,
and couldn’t have.
Oh, but those were delightful
Saturday Xiuut.—How many
kiss has been given—how many
curse—how many a caress—how
many a look—how many a prom-
lias been broken—how many a
loved one lowered into the narrow
hamher—how many a babe lias
gone from eartl. to Heaven—how
many a little cradle stands silent
now, which last Saturday night
held the rarest treasure of the
heart.
A week is a life. A week is a
history. It marks events of »or-
ow and gladness, which people
lever heed.
Go home to your family, erring
wanderer! Go home to those you
love, man, to toil aud give 011c
iigiit'to the joys and comforts fast
dying by.
Leave ya r Iwioks, complex fig
ures, your dingy office—your busy
hop ! Rest with those you love,
for Heaven only knows what the
next Saturday night may tiling
you! Forget the world of care
and battles of life which have fur
rowed the week. Draw close
around the family hearth. Satur
day night has awaited your coming
in sadness, in tears, in silence.
Go home to those you love, and
as you liask iu the loved presence,
and meet aud return the embrace
of your heart's pets, strive to be
better man and bless Heaven
for giving his children so dear a
stepping-stone in the river of the
eternal, as Saturday night.
MY COURTSHIP.
There was many afTectin ties
which made me hanker nrtcr Betsy
Jane. Her father’s farm jined
ourn; their cows and otirn sqcncht
their thurst at the same spring; our
old mures both had stars in their
forreds; the measles broke out in
botli fmnerlies at ueaily the same
period ; our parients (Betsy’s and
mine) slept regularly every Sun
day in the same meetin house, aud
the nabors used to observe—'How
thick the Wards and Peaslcys air!’
It was a sublime sight in the
spring of the year to see our
several mothers (Betsy’s and
mine) with their gowns pind up
so that they couldn’t sile ein, af-
fecsbunately bilin soap together
and ahoosiu the nabors.
Altlio I hankered intensely arter
the olijcck of iny afleckshiins, I
darsent tell her of the fires that
was ragin in my manly buzzum.
I'd try to dti it, but my tung would
kerwallop up agin the roof of my*
mowtli and stick thur, like doth
to a deceast African, or a country
postmaster to his offis, while my
heart whanged agin my ribs like
an old fashioned dale agin a barn
floor.
Twas a calm, still nite in Joon.
All natur was husht, and nary
zeter disturbed the screen silens.
I sot with Betsy Jane on the fense
of her father’s paster. We'd been
ronipin threw the woods, kullin
flours and driviu the woodchuck
from his uativ lair (so to speak)
with long sticks. Wall, we sot
thar on the fense, a swingin our
feet to and fro, blushing as red as
the Batdinsville school house when
it was fust painted, and lookin
very simple, I make no doubt.
My left arui was okepied in bal-
lunsin myself on the fense, while
my right was wounded luvingly
round her waste.
I cleared my throat, and trem-
blinly sed:
Betsy, you’re a gazelle.
I thought that air was purty
fine. I waited to see what efl’eck
it would have upon her. It evi
dently didn’t fetch her, for she up
and sed—
You’re a sheep!
Scz I—
Betsy, I think very much of
you.
I dont believe a word you say
—so there, now cum, with much
ohservnshun, she hitched away
from me.
I wish there was winders to my
sole ! sed 1, so that you could see
suin of my feclins. There is tire
enutf iu here, sed I, strikin my
huzzum with my fist, to bile all
the corn beeff and turnips in the
n b >rho«id. Versoovious and the
critter aint a circumstans.
She bowed her head down and
conuncnst efiawin the strings of
her sun-bonnet.
Ar, could you know the sleep
less liites I worry threw on your
account, how vittles has seized to
be attractive to me, and how my
lims lias shrunk up, you wouldnl
dowt me. Gaze on this Avast in
form and these ere sunken cheeks.
I should have eontimicrcd on iu
this strane probly fur sum time,
but unfort unit ly, I lost my lull-
lunse and fell over into the paster
kersmash, teat-in my close and se
verely damaging myself gincrally.
Betsy Jane sprung to my assist
ance in duhhlu quick time, and
she dragged me 4th. Then,
drawiu herself up to her full bite,
she sed—
I wont listen to your noncents no
longer. Jest say rite strait out
what you ar drivin at. If you
mean gittin hitched, I am in !
1 considered that enuff for all
particlar purpuses, and tve pro
eeeded immejitly to the parson's
and Ave avus made one that very
nite.
JOSH BILLINGS SAYS
He who forgivs another forgivs
himself, for Ave are all ov us gilty
ov about the same kind ov sins.
The obituary notiss ov menny
an old man iz only this : 'John
Doe, died, aged t)4 years.’
Specialitys.aife Avhat wins in this
world, a jak at all trades iz like a
man Avith fleas all over him, he iz
too bizzy with fleas to do enny-
tking well.
A COFFIN DEALER WHO; A REPENT A ST VOICE FROM
WANTED A NOTICE. i THE MOST HATEFUL OF
‘I’ve taken your paper for ALL QUARTERS.
twenty-six years,’ he commenced. The most hateful in its intense, biind,
as lie reached the head of the unforgiving Radicalism, the State of
stairs, ‘ and noAV I Avant a puff.’ | Pennsylvania, lllC ,1,orc hateful, really,
He Avas a very tall, slender man, ?f ause '* *'“* on “ s " lll( ' rou - f ! 1 y
l„,i „ e i i , 1 Democratic. 1 his repentant Aoiee
h ’ J i/io I f! 1 had V 1 snulud | comes from Judge Wm. D. Kelley, a
Since 1842, and bis neck 'vas era-; Pennsylvania Congressman, who has
braced by a white ci-wat and his j been long distinguished tor his unrea-
hauds Avere thrust into black jsoning bitterness towards the South;
.gloves. j Judge Win. D. Keller, of Ptnnsvl-
Yii will often see grate learning i ‘ I’ve got a new hearse, a new' van ' i *.» has returned from a six weeks’
and folly clos together, for he i stock of coffins, and I AA’ant ii lo-i tour * n youth, today, and hears
Avho sees grate things plainly, iz j«tl notice,’ he continued, as lie 1 u. os ^ 1 . e "T ia, ,! c . tes f ,l "" n ^ l l, ie
Enterprise Long Looked For!
« AT TU*
FRANKLIN HGUSt
Air*!* ran be h»l at all hour*, fur
FI V’X'X' CENTS E A CIT
T-.U lli,t.1 In. 1’ior iuRVr ranoTitaS and
Itawljr »l. r .* Trtf ln.' Public will t>c
iceo»mo.l:itf l with S-unl and l.->diiiix («r
TWO HOLLARS PER HAY.
A FIXE OYSTfB SflLilOHIdajs whe,. our lirst parents in
!»alv> ennn««ta.1 with fhl* H .tel. Thi» Is 'h« their ilHlOCence alHI Simplicity,
! Avande.ed about Eden Park, hand
‘ :ir,! "** ,ri "‘ i» hand, discussing the improvc-
w. .\. jester, ...i„— ments that might be made.
There is little record as to how
Mother Eve employed herself
Avhen not Avaudering in _ Eden.
There Avaa no SeAving Society for
her to be President of; there were
no clothes to be made up for the
Ot.H.lf.
T. TUKELKBLD, } 1> r Prielor*.
Pocket Telegrapii Instrument.
B y the aid of one of these little in*
Mrnmanu, any one can learn lelegraphlaf
<'Ilham diacalty. Fall direct Iona accompany
laehtnatrnmaat. Prlea S5 eaata. For tala at
April It—34rtf BURKE’S Book Stara.
A Clash of Smells.—A negro
party applied to a livery stable
keeper in this vicinity for n team
and sleigh to take them to a dance
in the evening. Having the fear
of the civil rights bill before his
eyes, lie thereupon named a price,
cash down, that lie did not expect
they would pay. But the colored
gentlemen came down ivith the
greenbacks required, aud ordered
the conveyance ready at 7 o’clock
in the evening. Arrived at the
rendezvous, the liveryman blank
eted his horsess and sat down in
a corner of the room to wait for
the dance to be n\’er. As the
party warmed up in the exercise,
the natural perfume from the
darkies became intolerable, and
the driver concluded to go out to
his sleigh, mil himself in lilankets,
and Avait for the breaking up ot
the party. At this moment, one
of the colored gentlemen ap
proached and politely inquired if
he would have any objection to
takiug a scat in another room,
adding,' Do ladies complain of de
smell of de boss.—San Antonio
{Tex.) Herald,
Presence of mind.—Prof. Wilder
gives these soil rules for action in case
of accident: For dust in the eyes,
•vei l rubbing; dash wator iutb them
remove cli ders. etc., with the round
point ot a lead pencil. Remove in
sects from the ear by tepid Avater; nev
er put a hard instrument into the ear.
If an artery is cut compress above the
wound ; if a vein is cut compress be
low. If choked get upon all fours and
cuigh. For light burns dip the part
in cold water; if the skin » destroyed
cover with vami-h. Smother a lire
with carpets, etc; witter will often
spread burning oil and increase the
danger. Before passing through sm< ike,
take a full breath, and then 6toop low
but if oarhon is suspected, then walk
«tect. Suck poisonous wounds, unless
vour mouth is sore. Enlarge the
wound, or, better, cut the part out
without delay. Hold the wounded
part as long as can be home to a hot
coal, nr end of a cigar. In case of
poisoning, excite vomiting hy tickling
the throat, or by water or. mustard.
For acid poisous give acids; in case ot
opium poisoning give strong coffee
and keep moving. If in water, float
on the hack with the nose and mouth
projecting. For apoplexy, -awe the
head anti body; for fainting lay the
person flat.
often apt to see little things dimly.
The fear of the roil iz more potv-
er-full than the use ov it.
Truth iz simple—so simple that
the phoolish often mistake it for
weakness.
'Ilappy as a klam,’ iz a very
common companion, but Railways
struck me az being rather klaiumy.
If a man could git lid ov him
self, solitude would be a good
place for menny ov them to go to.
The devil alhvays keeps the gide
boards that leads to hiz dominions
fresh and in good order.
Thare are no people who git
snubbed oftner than thoze Avho are
allways sticking their nozes into
futurity.
If yu expekt to win with a lie,
yu hav got to play it quick.
Don't anticipate trubbles; it we
Aviil only Avait until they cum, Ave
kail dodge haff ov them, aiid the
other hafl may dodge us.
Yu kan sett still and gro wicked,
but if yu expeckt to gro virtowous
yu hav got to git up and git.
Gossip and tea go together, and
are the pekuliar privilege ov
harmless old Avimmin Avho hav got
past doin enny harm or enny good.
The heathen hav but fu Iuavs,
but they execute them every- time.
Thare iz sutch a thing az being
too al tire in bizness; thare iz a
certain kind ov lazyncss that often
sukcceds the best.
The basest kind of servitude iz
to be obliged to flatter thoze Avhom
we kant help but dispizc.
Ditfikultys are like spooks—
when yu cum to run them down,
they don’t amount to mutch.
Bold men arc generally despe
rate, and timid ones are alhvuss
Avcak.
I never hav cum akrost a man
yet so modest Avho didn’t think he
avuz entitled to all the fame he
posscsst, and, if ennytbing, a lit
tle more.
Thare arc but fu pepul Avhocver a
git rich enuff to enjoy their Avelth.
All the beasts ov the dessart,
and all the snaiks ov the fields,
are born free and equal, and it did
allways seem a little funny to me
that man should not be the same.
Thare iz nothing more skarse
than originality, and thare iz noth
ing that each person thinks iz so
plenty.
Common Report (i am not ac
quainted with the person individ
ually) iz.ono ov the greatest liars
the world ever produced, and yet,
Common Report haz been known
to tell the truth when it could not
he got at iii\;nny other way.
If a man sukceeds, yu can find
hundreds ov other pepul who pre-
dikted it. and if he fails, the sauu-
oncs predikted that, too.
Natur haz given birth to more
horrid monsters ov men than she
ever haz ov lleasts or reptiles.
I hav seen pepul whom i thought
were altogether too pious to be
happy or to let other folks be.
Luv Avould be a very tame af
fair, take all the spits and spats
out ovit.
Whi iz it that avc kan all ov us
giv such good advice to others,
and follow it so poorly onraelf?
If yu don’t Avant to make yore
child a liar, don’t learn him to fear
y»-
Old men are too apt to think
that about all they are for iz to
make munny and save it.
The mau Avho pays a debt
promptly, in these liberal-miuded
days, iz looked upon az being too
fastidious.
It requires more art to tell a
thing Avell, than itduz to kreate it
Thare are hut fu honest enuff
to giv good luk the share ov
kredit that iz du it in their suck-
cesses
Wo are told that ' virtew iz its
oavii reward,’ and what a blessed
good thing it would be if wicked
ness Avould always git its pay iu
the same coin.
I am forced to say that the big
gest phools that i hav ever met
hav been az Avize and misterious
az an owl.
Nature makes all the heros and
the gentlemen, and owns the pat-
tent right.
sat doAvn and sighed, as if ready
to screw a coffin lid down.’
Southern policy of his own party in
j the last Congress. When asked, to-
, ! night, what lie thought of the political
My dear sir, replied the man j condition of the South, he used these
in the corner, ‘ I’ve met you at ai words: “The vote I most regret
great many funerals, and your j during my fourteen yeais’ service in
general bearing has created a j Congress, is that which I cast last
favorable impression. " i,ltur in favor of t!l “ force bill.” He
You sigh with the sishers, further saut that, so far as his observa-
grieve Avith the grieves, mul on ^TH’ * *>,s extended tour
° ° . there is no more necessity fur Cue use of
extra occasions you can shed tears Fttlera | niilitIlrv force t h„ n there is in
of sorrow, even though von know Pennsylvania or Ohio. He talked
that you can’t get ten per cent, ot | with Confederate soldiers, with North-
your bill under six months.’ {ern men, negroes, carpet-baggers and
‘ Yeg,’ sighed the undertaker, travellers, aud he was surprised at the
instinctively measuring the length
of the table ivith his eye, and
wondering to himself why editors’
tables iveren’t coveted ivith crape,
with rows of coffin nails around
the edges.
'Death is very solmcn,’ contin
ued the man in the corner; ‘ but
still it is an occasion ivhen one can
appreciate a neat thing. I’ve seen
you rub your knuckles against
door-posts and never change coun
tenance ; I’ve seen you listen to
eulogies on men who owed you
for tiventy years before their
death, and you looked even more
solemn than the bereaved widow ;
I’ve seen you back your hearse tip
to a door in such an easy, quiet
ivay, that it robbed death of halt
its terrors. All this have I seen
and appreciated, but I couldn’t
write a puff for you.’
‘ Why not?’ be demanded.
‘ For many reasons. Now, yon
have n new hearse. Could I go
on and say ; ‘ Mr. Sackcloth, the
genial undertaker, has just re
ceived a fine neiv hearse, and ivc
hope that our citizens will endeav
or to bestow upon it the patronage
such enterprise deserves. It
rides easy, is handsomely finished,
and those who try it once ivill
want no other. Could 1 do that ?’
No, not very ivell.’
Of course I couldn’t. You can
call a grocer or a dry goods man
genial friend’ and it’s all right,
but you aren’t genial—you can't
be. It’s your business to be sol
emn. If you could be even more
solemn than yon arc, it ivould be
money in your pocket.’
That’s so,’ he said, sighing
heavily.
If it ivas an omnibus, or a
coal-cart, or a ivhcelbarroiv, I
could go on and write a cbpter on
every separate spoke, but it isn’t,
you see.’
He leaned back and sighed
be
Above all things, learn a child to
be honest and industrious; if these
good feeling existing, lie said
should hereafter lake little stock in
Southern outrages, especially if thet
arc reported as occurring in the sections
he visited. He gave an example of
the feeling in the South by relating
what lie himself saw iu Augusta, Ga.
Being himself unknown, he happened
to be in that city on the day chosen for
decorating the graves of the Confede
rate dead. He remained aud observed
closely the proceedings. A long pro
cession marched through the city with
lire engines, civic organizations, &c.,
it being treated as a general holiday.
He observed the significant fact that
while men and women were gathered
for the purpose of paying a tribute to
the memory of the dead Confederate
soldiers, the principal music on the oc
casion was furnished by a band belong
ing to a regular United States infantry
regiment stationed in the vicinity.
There was no insults, no complaints,
and no appearance of ill-feeling any
where visible. While absent Judge
Kelley sjient from two days to a week
in each of the following cities, stopping
frequently at places of less consequence,
viz: Richmond, Charleston, Columbia,
Savannah, Jacksonville, Atlanta,
Augusta and Aikt-u. The most of his
time was spent in Florida. He says
so far as he saw, and he went with his
eyes and ears open, there was no feel
ing of fear or distrust on the part of
the colored people, and he could not,
for the life of him, see what use there
was for force hills. He was very glad
to have made the trip, for it has euabled
him to understand the condition of the
South better than he has ever under*-
stood it before. He said it was not the
Ku-Klux that was ruining the South,
nor was tlieir unhappy condition to be
attributed to hatred by the Southern
people of the North, nor was any poli
tical question involved. lie thinks the
whole trouble in the South arises from
finaucial and industrial cause.'-, and he
believes that tiie South ivill not im
prove and advance until the Forty-
tourth Congress repeals the financial
legislation ot the Forty-third; until
the industries of the country are re
vived, and we are forced to live within
our income. The South will grow
worse instead of better. As matters
arc going now, the judge thinks that
not only the South aud Southwest will
be involved in ruin, but the country
itself will be hopelessly insolvent. The
treasury, he thinks, is already empty;
work is stopping in the navy-yards, on
the public works, buildings, &c., for
the money has run out. The receipts
are not equal to the expenditures, and
a day of settlement is not far off He
was asked how long the treasury would
hold out, and nc answered that unless
there is an improvement in the customs
and internal receipts the treasury will
be empty hy September next. Judge
Kelley called on Secretary Bristow
and had a long talk on financial mat
ters, hut did not succeed in obtaining
any new iuforinatiou from the secretary.
The judge asked him how soon he was
to begin to buy currency again. The
secretary did uot like that way of
stating it, hut he was told by the judge
RUINOUS OR ANTIS M.
The statement made in these dis
patches six weeks ago that the new
revenue bill would not meet the expec
tations of its authors, is fully justified
hy the published receipts for the four
months of the new year. The total
receipts for the fiscal year to April 30,
are, in round numbers, 8223,510,871.
Of this, $133,752,000 are custom re*
ceipts, and $89,758,871 Internal Rev
enue returns. The Iuternal Revenue
r «eipts for the four months of 1875
are 836,485.420, and the recetpts'.for
April are 87,022,331. Thu is a large
filling off from the receipts for the
corresponding pe r '°d of last year,
April alone falling nearly $3,000,000
behind, as compared with the returns
for tiie same mouth of 1874.
The estimated receipts from customs
and Internal Revenue for the present
fucal year were $267,000,000, and
thus far, the total receipts have been
in louid numbers, only 8224,000,000.
Hence, May and June will have to
yield S43,000,000 to make the hooks
balance. To do this, Internal Reve
nue will have to yield nearly sixteen
millions and customs nearly twenty-
eight millions. During May, the spe
cial license taxes arc collected, and
this will help the Internal Revenue
receipts some, but otherwise, both May
and June are dull months, and they
are eqiecially so in tho custom de
partment, there being but little busi
ness done by importers during these
months.
The new revenue bill was construed
s x as to take effect on the 3rd day of
March, and yet, it has made no per
ceptible difference in the customs re
ceipts, and but little in the Internal
Revenue collections. It is therefore,
inevitable that the receipts for the pre
sent fiscal year trill fall short several
millions of dollars on the estimates,
while, on the other hand, the expends
itures will assuredly run ahead several
millions. In addition to all this, the
currency balances in the treasury have
run down to less than a million and
three quarters, and unless it is replen
ished by sales of gold, they will be en
tirely exhausted. But sales of gold
are scarcely to be thought of, because
the drain on the specie revenues must
be very heavy during the remainder
of the fiscal year.
While the Secretary of the treasury
is compelled to face this unsatisfactory
condition of things in his department,
he hears from every quarter of the
country the most discourag’ng reports
in regard to the revival of business.
The reports received at the agricultural
department, gii'es a gloomy account of
the farming interests in every section
of the country. There is the same u:.-
sfiibility among manufacturers which
has existed for eighteen months, whh
no prospect of any immediate change.
The extent of the suffering among the
poor classes is appreciable, from the
facts supplied by the federal city itself.
The general government disburses here
over a million dollars per month iu
salaries, and the district government
is doing a vast amount of work on the
streets of this city, hut notwithstand
ing these facts, there has never beer,
more suffering among the poor than,
now prei’ails, and this suffering is not
confined to the colored population,
but is chieflv among ths white laboring:
classes.— Washington Cr.r. N. Y. Sun:
' And as to your coffins, they
arc doubtless nice coffins, and
your prices arc probably reason
able, but could I go on and say:
' Mr. Sackcloth, the undertaker,
has just received his new styles
in spring coffins, all sizes, and is
noiv prepared to sec as many of
his old customers as ivant some
thing handsome and durable at a
moderate price. Could I say
that?’
Another sigh.
' I could not say that you were
holding a clearing-out sale, in or
der to get ready for the spring
trade, or that, for the sake ot in
creasing your patronage, you had
decided to present each customer
with a chromo. I couldn’t say I that he thought he had used the right
that you ivere repairing and re
painting, and had the most attract
ive coffin shop in the city. It
wouldn’t do to hope that people
would patronize you, or to say
that all orders sent iu by mail
would bo promptly filled, aud that
your motto was 1 Quick sales and
small profits l’
Ho put on tbo look of a tomb
stone, and made no reply.
You see. if you had stoves to
sell, or dealt in mackerel, or sold
fishing-tackles, everything would
be lovely. You are au under
taker—solemn, sedate, mournful.
You revel in crape, and you never
term. lie did uot think it was selling
gold, but buying currency wliieh is
necessary for daily use. He told the
secretary that the South, the West and
the whole country would never recover
while the effort was being made to
bring about specie payments by con
tracting the currency
Dan Davis, of Virginia City,
paid a visit to Promontory, on the
Central Pacific Railroad, and was
charmed ivith the manners and
customs—almost patriarchial in
their frank simplicity—of the peo
ple. He stopped at the principal
hotel of the town. It wa3 a nice
pass a black walnut door without | place, and the landlord was a very
thinkinsr how much good coffin agreeable and friendly sort of a
Tbe tolling
To praia a phooj makes him
drunk.
The luv ov fame that exists in
all men, iz a strong alignment in
favor ov the immortality ov the
soul.
A negro woman ivas relating her
experience to a gaping congregation of
color, and among other things she said
she had been in heaven. One of the la-
thinking
lumber was wasted,
bell is music to you, and tbe city
hall flag at half mast, is fat ou
your ribs. We’d like to oblige
you, but you see how it is.’
'Yes, I see,’ he said, and he
formed in procession and moved
! down stairs, looking around noiv
and then to see if the hearse ivas
just thirty-four feet behind the
officiating clergyman’s carriage
Eight steamships left New York for
Europe on Saturday, carrying iu the
aggregate 687 cabin and 1,180 steer
age passengers. This is a great in
taTthings don’t enable him to make dies of color asked her, “bister, did
figure in this world, he is only a cy- \ you tee any black rolks up in heaven T
her, and never was intended for a “Oh, get out! you spose I go m do
pber,
figure,
I kitchen when l was dsxT
man. Says Dan: *5V hen dinner
was ready the landlord came out
into the street, in front of his
hotel, with a double-barrelled
shot-gun. Raising the gun above
his head, he fired off ouc barrel
I said to him : * What did you do
that for?’ Said he : ’To call my
boarders to dinner.’ I said : * Why
don’t you tire off both barrels
'Oh,’ said he, 'I keep tho other
to collect with.'
A STRIKING PARALLEL BY
THE HON. B. H. HILL. •
The Hon. B. H. Hill, of Georgia,
says the Edgefield, (S. C.) Advertiser,
the greatest orator in the South, and
perhaps the ablest man, made a speech
at Atlauta recently, in the course of
which he draw the following striking
and brilliant parallel between Secession
and Radicalism > •
Secession was a mistake—a terrible
mistake, a terrible mistake; but seces
sion was no crime. [Great applause.}
It violated no oaths; it trampled upon
no individual rights; it dispersed no
Legislatures; it throttled no State; it
sought to shed no blood; it burned no
cities; it invaded no homes 1 Radical
ism is no mistake. It is deliberate,
intentional, wicked, ever-increasing
crime; [applause;] it has trampled
upon ten thousand oaths to support tbe
Constitution. It defied the Union as
fact that it might destroy the Union
as a principle; under the pretense of
reconstructing the States, it has do*
stroyed tiie States. It has sworn t»
support the Constitution only to seize
upon power to enable it to subvert the
Constitution; under pretense of re
storing peace, it has bhghted the coun
try with war, poverty and sorrow; it
has burned cities, it has dispersed Le
gislatures, it has robbed the poor,-
plundered tbe helpless, punished the
innocent, and it 1ms chained liberty to
the car oi tyranny. I arraign Radical
ism to-night, before the bar of thi* :
outraged country, as the only real, in
tentional rebel in American history^
Applause.] It is a rebel against the
Constitution of our fathers; it is a
rebel against the sovereignty of the
States; it is a rebel against the domes
tic tranquility which the Constitution
was intended to insure; it is a rebel
against every principle of justice, and
a rebel against every blessing of liberty.
[Tremendous applause.]
A ship at sea sprung a leak. The
hole in its bottom was just one foot
square. There was but oneboardonthe
ship—this was sixteen inches long ar.d
nine inches wide. It had precisely
the requisite number of square inches,
and the carpenter cut it in two pieces
only and these two pieces just fitted
the hole. Hoiv did he do it ?
Bill Smikes came home mellow the
o w f other night, and his ivife asked him
crease over the numbers sailing on pre-1 what aiied him, he said he had gone to
vious Saturdays, and indicates that the the spelling school and had (hie) got
spring exodus has fully set in. A'l f«“W of hip-pip—poppo -poppo—hip-
the steamers carried full cargoes. popity—hip-por—hi pity-hop—himus
—— — hippi-mus—hip—hip—-hippitymus
The losses by fire in the United j—hipopvtimus--or some such (hie)
States last year, are estimated at sev-, confounded word, aud it had given him
enty-five millions of dollars, one of his “ spells,”—Siralngian-
A citizen of Syracuse has thirteen
children, all girls. What that farther
has spent for hairpins would have
bought the Western Union Telegraph
wires.
A witty pastor once remarked that
there was just as much family govern
ment now as ever; but formerly'pa-
rents governed children* now chil
dren govern parents,
