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YOL. 6. TIIE WEEKLY farlprxvllip Expre*i* In published every Jf 'I'6IIDAY’ i ro )r ,,in r. in Carter,vilie, Barlow County, Ga., by Smith &. Mii.ui, Proprietors, at Thk*R Hollars, per an num, strict l// in advunct; l'wo 1) illars for Six Months; »Lu* Dollar for Three Months. A IvertisenuMits for one month, or less time Our Dollar per squ ire, of ten lines or less,) for each insertion ; all other a<Uertl-ement» .1 he charged Fifty per cent on old prices. PROFESSIONAL CARDS. __ JERE A. HOWARD, attorney and counsellor at law. CaRTERWVILLE, da. W. H. PRITCHETT, Attorney at Law. CARfERSVILLE. GEORGIA. PItJCi’ICFS L ivv in all the cou-ts of (lie Cherokee circuit and Counties adjoinin'' Bartow. Jl,n23 * THOMAS W. MILNER, Attorney at Law. CARTERSVILLE. GEORGIA. Will at end prompt!>• to business entrusted to hi-> rare. Oct. A wly i nos. n DO0D ( Attorney at Law AND COUNTY COURT SOLICITOR. Ciii. Willjsivc* particular attention to the collection ol claims. Gel 2<i. .1 oh it G. Hr atiso n, ATTORNEY Si COUNSELLOR AT LAW, KiX •'fl'OX, GA. »■ *R\CTKE* 1 win the several enun- I lie* of the Cherokee Circuit, al-o, Pol*, ,j , |.| F oy l c >nniics, Prompt it given to huon ss, Xov *J3. ly /p, v . s <inn ,| c I Is !$lO cash per linmni.j JOHN W. WOFFORD. Attorney **£ tiaw, CAMTERSViLLE, GA. Mso. FIR: INSURANCE AGENT. .presents the best N •rlht ru and Southern (Loupmins. Can he Imiml at ilu* la tv office «>I W offord &L 1 nrro ti April- 10, 1806. JONES & MALTGIE, attorneys at law. Ciirlcrsr.lid, G(i. *\T ILL attend promptly to :dl h..<i lessen \\ trusted t.i their c.ire. Will pru t ce in U • C .arts of law. an I equity n the Cluvokee Circuit. Special attention given to the roller tion of claims. Jan. I, 1866. ly olio .)■ Tones. ti. Maitlue. JONESES" MALT DIE. HIGH. i t. 4E YTS, CARTERSVILLE GA We ii •«? •»u‘ t v.i'ir.eil I * I'. '»'>-! " n * eve ', R ' •11,,., ~.v Ia .-.I .Iso u nrv.il- *IU nil ' lots l > r»- ( «•„ ,f I',rt-!.v 1 .-. \I»(> sever Ipl 'iinnl n* <»f vnr sin 4). low Cl. IV. relies .le-ri.* bn o' 7ivM .l well I><ec us , end. \ .. 8 proinp l>* n»w«*re<l «lu >l* s 0 Surgco n a a «1 Mechanical Dentist. u l lersigued respeotlnlly oiler his pro* 9 IVssiunal services to the ChnuMts of Car t.n Evilli and xieinitv. is p ep red to do all kinds of work belonging to his profession. M ,9 ° i„ ... vM fill's"" DU. T. F. JONES, f I MINDERS his professional services to the I citi/en* of KINCSTOX and vicinity, and re p ictfully solicits oft eir patronage. June 2. DR. HUGH A. BLAIR, I’li.ysU ian and Sturgeon, Gurtersville. Georgia. FULLY tet drrt h s p»ofes»ioi; «l service* to * s-Ufoa;,-,- i h » . ••sii’.euce, on Mstn Bt., ' <e Jtuov »r or. I*. Marsh. Jjnr DU. O. riSRCIITOY, Cart erne: He, Georg a. teeueia ht> profrtsl-nsl »« vies to 'hect ivo* of urteruvll .• ». .1 r mat vC* u try »., d v> t» t <1 ,at -U h..u*\ Offio • up-st is in l» r U 7* i New Urirk Uuiliiii>t'. May 10. 1867,51 y La n i e r I I o u s e, MARIETTA, GA BY ELUS3N A. D3333, Proprietors T IMIIS II >use is located >u a few steps of 'he | Railroad, where the cars stop. Passengers tak-* three meals a day here. Meals prepared a all hours. july 24. ~s. ii. T’TftiTl or FASHIONABLE TAILOR, *VIP Stte .1 prompt., to the Cuttl 11, beosir ’ triß .-»• <1 M ki"K Boy's sici MeuN Clo hiny. ■'ifieetub.C' room ■ f Luri—svi It, G*. • lil. Dress Tailor s IS prepared to execute al kinds ■sAB jA ot wors in the Fashionable Tail 'la. ing line with ucatnc sand in do- ,* I table style. Over J. Dlsas &Cos a store, C&rtersville, jan 25. J. W MAXWELL BRICK MASON. Is p>sps*ed to do all kind* of w rk In Bit k »nd fon.' st »h rt n tice. Has on hand nfl e lot • f ne»ly btu rr i b iek nod is prepared to do woik upon the most r«»soT*bit trrm-. C»r e>«vil‘- Q».. M«y 8 4 I>6T. Tlie Cartersville Hotel. DR. THOMAS MfLAM bavins charge of this H >use. wouiJ he | j J'u j pleased to accomm 'date a f w Board g | w nrs with BOARD, with oi without IjjLJa-l Lodging. Call an I see him at ouct so; ttxmd CaiUrsvill®, Jan 17- THE CARTERSVILLE EXPRESS. CARTERSVILLE ADVERTISEMENTS, ECLIPSE! riJ U 1 S fable, I J. G. Stocks, KEBPKOT FULLY ....ti y the Pbl c he tin* j si penn-d tes NeJ. and C .mnio.it oiis LI VK V ANDrALK STABLE, J'llb » t. st..ek ed wDi (foo l h. r<es l.iif. i*•%. and U i r-paied to luinißbih .se traveling into a..d across the e. u try wth spy kitul p i ate ... rxtyance. He is also p epa ed to J{ art! St ck may <j . ■n , .ity wic .-oinfo. t . bl. iwrfatr sad tiountifu t*-»-d at re. s mwtote r .w. ' Sto< k '.oUkht alid -..til at ids s'ab.e-. His s'.a - - all j belt)* f e-h md . nulpivr ew lie it ’ter h'iu-*lf -ith t tl e el', f tl,n. b- can f fit. h k .’US' m. r» »ith as e t .I, c ii.p'e s on: tii a, soy ii e estub i bnietit It. Up:.e- Ueor. i . xI he as! t„ V,t b i.h tbi« fact IS st.ial .Alt EP.'VI LK. UA. March 22, is 67. We are requested by C'd' J- G. Stocks to an nounce o the ptiiilic, that lie iris bought out the Livery > s to-k of J. J. Jones Jr, and that the two 8. .hie- will he eotianlidated. and that the foilowing list of prices will be stiictiv adhered to. II o-k hnr»e«,an I driver p-r day T7,"0 ii r»e, ii i y .rnJ Dr ve. “ “ . Ho.eAß.iuy “ ‘ t “ “ X day f'.'O SnJii e horse i>e ‘ .. fU 50 ' •• •' x ‘lay tl 5 . W. L. Kirkpatrick & Cos., Pruggists, CaKTERSVII.LE. ga. \\T ILL keep constant on hand a well \\ seeded stock of pure DRUGS AND MEDICINES. mm§o Patent Medicines &c Jont’s’ Carringe Repository, Jan 17. mm mm mmm 0-A.SiiS A.3ST.O CASKETS. By Erwin & Jones. ASSORTED sizes 1 ept Oil hand. Also WOOD COFFINS made to order. A go ii HE \RSE r ilv at all hours. CARTERSVILLc. Feb I, 1867. wiy W . «. MOUXTdSTLE, Jeweller and Watcl* and 'w Clock lCepairer, In the Front of A. \. Skinner & Co’s store- Cartersville jan 25 James W. Strange, Dealer in STOVES GRATES, IRON, HARDWARE, i PLAIN AND JAPANNED TIN WARE, &C. Clean Linen ano Cotton Rags taken in ex change for G >ods. Rqpairin ', Roofing and Guttering done with neatness and dispatch. i Cartersville, Xov. 1. « h i J. E. Roberts RET ML DEALER U 7 Corn, Meal, Flour. i llaeon. sugar, Coffee, Tobacco, &.C. &c. At Skinner ShepTicrd’s old stand, on Main street, between Jones’ Carriage Shop and Strange’s Tin Sli-’p. R. R. Harg’.s with J, E. Roberts je 21,- ts. Cartersville, Ga. Samuel Clayton, R. A. Clayton. S CLAYTON& SON, DFALER* IN GENERAL MERCHANDISE, AND COMMISSION MERCHANTS, CARTERSVILLE, SA. We Wp h wrerernl stoefc ami fn !i s>h wi h at yt int.- you w ut. Gme to *>ce u—we will e'i yi.u oOe*>Js a >*t r ar«*!»* be pi’TC'f, Come ad io k <t uur st cl— N ' h-rm do* eif w esnt’ de. If friends favor us with tCDSipnm. rits or orders, we wi and «urtv ii j mi ) c- • a .)« of thr.:r interests. BUTTER, EGGS, DRIED BLACKBERIES &c. uktui .1 maikvi r..tc6 Ur t-uods. 5000 LBS. Clean Cott n and Linen wanted When ready sacked we vr.!l take them at 8 cer per lb. for gads. B.iigthem in anv qaanttty. jy'Mr. C iah S-vp'-eesis with us—he invites alibis fri- astoe 11 and see wbai he cin do for hem AtU-<a QujUUo-s. wed for 6did Dust and eld tea SiU. je 2S. CARTERSVILLE GA, AUGUST 2. 1807. CARTERSVILLE ADVERMSEMENTS, Sfiring: •Machine Oil , PI;EPA r Eoat the Baltimore Chemical Works, for Sale by B*K. DEALERS IN s air Chemicals, Paints, &c , &.c. Proprietors of Kramer’s Hair Restora tive, Phoricus, Universal Bitters, Nerve & Bone Liniment, &c. Cartersville, Ga. IlfE h> g I avc to inform the citizens ge« V erallv, and pliyt-i.-ians particularly, that we have on hand a large, well selected stoeg ol ikrirgg anil Medicines, and are ready to fill orders at the lowest pr ces. Being aware of the great adulteration prac ticed in preparing Medicines, we have made arrangements to have this done under our , wn supervisi mi, and will warrant all our Medi < ilies pure. As we buy in the best marKets in the country, and l»uy entirely for cash, we can sui.plyour customers with goods as cheap as the can possibly be bought elsewhere, We will duplicate any bill bought south of Lmiisvil/e. Respectfully soliciting your orders, we are Y’ours very respectfully, Feb 8. 18G7. BEST & KRAMER. J. A. E“ WI * &cr •It e receiving r their Slack of SPRING AM) Rummer £oois, •,(JMT RI ING rverv variety adapted to the want* of E the couucry, which they ai e d<e eriniiiea to ted at , I Si c Lowest Prices— Cheaper than the Cheapest! All are Invited to CALL, EXAMINE AND BUY bargains. Terms: Cash ! and our motto is Small Profits. Cai tergvifie, G;t., April 19,186 T | NEW STORE! NFW r GOODS ! And New Arrangements. The under-ljrned t:-keß pleasnre in clig to the clt r.en« «.f Cir t-r?ville and urrou- dinp country, that he h». just nper.ed out a rao*t sp ended FASH ION AULk Stock of wane * svwtaa' DRY GOODS, sdapte-l to the warts of the peop'e, which he proposes to sei' at H ice to SUIT the TIMES. L idies wi 1 find almost Everything pertaining to their wardrobe. . GENTLEVU-.N will find Material and Furnishing Goods for Clothing. Tsmlliei will find all kinds of g"ods common for do- IVIESTIC USE, a’so BOOTS, SHOES, Hats. Bonnets, Hoop Skirts Umbrellas &c &c. AUo will keep on hand a Urge lot of FACTORY YAA^lN'S tip Wi»ULD hr h pny to receive c IU at any time II HU and -ors are thrown w ; d open. -<nd the Invitation Is »•■> alt. Come and examine tils vooda and nn es. ' nrjr ‘ c " MAW* he ‘ m ’ J. T. STOCKS w.th Fergusjr„ Caltersvitle, Ga., May Ist 1b67. “OUR MOTTO’’ LIVE, a™ X.BT LIVE !! Shall he demonstrated in all our dealings. J. 11. SATTERFIELD Sf BRO„ Are now receiving their Spring anil SUMMER Os \ew aua Beatitlful Dry- Good), Uolliio?, Hats, Bools, frlioes, and i otious, in the prices ofany and all of which we pledge ourselves to dupli cate Atlanta bills. We also have on hand a superb lot of p roceries and Jproduce, which we will sell equally as low ; but remem ber our terms are unequivocally | CASH AND CASH, 0-N-L-Y. The citizens and public generaPy are earn estly solicited to c->ll and examine our goods and prices, and try and prove us and see if we will not comply with nur pr mise. J. Hi SATTERFIELD & BRO. j Cartersville, Ga., April 19, 1567. CARTERSVILLE ADVERTISEMENTS. CAKKIiuE . REfteITORT A\D CARTERSVILLE, GA. Special attention given to Ucpair ing. HAVING Opened business at tny old stand, i am prepared to do any and ah’ Kurus of work de-ired in the Carriage Line, at low figures tor cash. I shall keep on hand a line assortment ol' Buggies & Carriages and can, it short notice, furnish any kind 9 a VEHICLE dcs’ied. Having connected myself with Messrs. Wyman & May, Augusta, a • a well known and reliable firm, I will sell > ; at Augusta freights added, from the bc*t Factories at the North ad East. All of which will be warranted right, i Being well acquainted with the country and people, with long experience in the business, I purpose to furnish the market with such 1 work as will give perfect satisfaction, I shall be able to furnish the entir-- country, hk nu sari ities are unlimited. Cali mid examine, ii shall cost you nothing. I feel assuroil that the good people of this county will appreciate : the honest efforts of out of their old citizens, i broke down by »he war, R. 11. JONES, January 17. *BB7 wlv i im N. CURE AT H & SONj now receiving a genet al stock of SPRING AND SOMMER consisting of Ladies 7 Dress (roods hats. GENTLEMENS’ FURNISHING GOODS. Bools, Shoes, Hats, and Ready-made Clothing. Also a well assorted stocsof j Hardware and Crockery, Family Groceries, which was b lected by one of the firm in person. ’We ask pnrchft era to cal! and examine our -took and pri c*»B. We expect to sell lew f r cash. Give us a call. CartersvTle, Ga, Aj»‘il 12, IS6C. 'w2m OLDIDEBTS!! OLDBBBTS!!! i All persons indebted to the old Mercantile firms of of HOWARD, STOKEI.Y A CO.. and J. A. & 8. ERWIN, are respectluliy urg ed to make liberal payments on these debts out |of tliep esent wheat crop. All who refuse to respond to this call for only part payment will be sued, ’i base debts are from six to ten years standing, an i longer mdulgence cannot be giv en. Call at J. A. ERW’IN & Co.’B store where the •’laims are, and make liberal pay ments and save suits. Cartersville, Ga., June 18, 1867. 1 . Imsof Uartow ii i®. I propose to sell three tracts of of Land embracing 1290 ACRES, • and will give the best ba [ gains now offered in the county. j Ist Tract. 9’o acres— acres cleared, u-der tro vt fence and In a hit<h sute >-f cultivation. The whole tract Ties well, produ.-e* Teelv a"d is pleasant to cultivate-. I is near WO MEItCH tST MILLS CtfUR-'HKS AND HIGH SCHOOLS c nvenieni—hea th ami society *nod. The imp’oven-euts consist of a newly 8r lsheii ti.-.e!ling with six ro- ms—Giu house Smith's shop and other necessary outbuil- ines, together with six other separate eneteects on the pl-ce. 2nd Tract, Ont*ins 890 acres—SO cleared, improvements common. This tea 1 mile of the town of Kunariee. 3rd I'ract, Contains 50 acres, one half clean 4 The above lands can be bought separate or together, Terms e sj. L-terest id present crop sold a ith th place i * esired "and possession given, lorty days from day of •ale. B. T. LEtKE. ! June 1,1867. w3m Town Lots In Fassvilie and Calhoun for Sale. The Utter to oe s -Id in Calhoun, and the former in Cartersville. I WU L BFLL. on the first Tuesday in August next I to he highest binder Ooe business and Two Eesi - 1- ce Lots in the town of Cassville, and aso one Busi i ess Lot in l'*ilh"Un, wi»b.t Store-House on the latter cn re»»o .able t me, part to or <* *h. THO 9. ». COMPTON. I C*Tter* T lLe. Qa.. July 19,1987. Josh Killings. Joshua Billings, Esq., has turned up in the New \ ork Weekly with the fol lowing monograffs” : I he Jealous Man is atwuz a hunting. He iz alwuz a hunting for stmithing that lie don’t expect lew lind, and afier he h.iz found it. then he iz mad be** katsse he haz. Theze leilers don’t lie leav in spooks, and yet they are about the only (oiks i lio ever see ennv. A jealous man sz alwuz happy jist in pro purs huu ez he is miserable. Jelosy iz a diseaze, and it iz a good «ieal like sea'siekness—ciretiful sick and han’t vomit. The An ony.TJus Man boards at a red tavern, and pays lor !• is hoard hi tend ing- bar ockasionally. He haiol got any more clia;:n:ler than tbe jack uv spades haz when it aim iruinps. lie iz a loaler bi profession), without ennv vices. He rides on the box once in a while with tbe driver, and nobody thinks uv asking for hi* stage hire. He sprung from a respectable farnilv; biz gie.it grandfather was a jusiiss or the peace; but be haz not got vanity enutJ to brag on it. He ain’t necessarily a phool, ennv more than a biillV-eye watch iz; ifeir ny boddy will wind him un, he will sett still and run quietly down. The Stiff Man looks down when he walks upon folks. He don’t seem tew have but oye limber jmi in him, and that iz located in hiz noze. He is a kind of masculine turkey on parade in a barn-yard. He iz generally loaded with v isdum tdear up lew the inuzzeli. and when he goes, op’n, makes a noize like a cannon, ! but don’t dew ennv dammage. i have seen him tire into a crowd and miss every man. This kind ov stiff man iz very handy tew flat ter. They seem tew know they ain’t entitled to a good article, and therefore are satisfied with very hard soap. There ain’t but fu men who git stiff" on what they actually know, but most aul ov them git stiff" on wh-t they ack tually feel. Stiff men are railed arist 'knits, but this ain’t so. There ain’t no such thing as aristokrats in this country. The country ain’t long ennfT\ it. un less a man has got some Indian in him. Az a gen’ral thing, stiff men git mad dredful easy, and h.av lev/ git over it dredful easy beka-use folks ain’t apt tew git a big skare at what they ain’t afraid ov. Stiff man bad a grandfather mice who went to -Cirngress from our distrikt, and thare ain’t one in ihe whole family that fiave been able tew git limber sinse. The Model Man never disturbs a hen when she is setting; never speaks cross tew a lost dorg; alwuz puts a five cent shinplaster in his vest pocket late Sat urday night tew have it ready Sunday morning for the church platter; riz> s whenever a lady enters the slreet kars; remembers jure uncle plainly, and asks after awl the family, ll he steps oil a kat’s tail, is sure to do it light, and im- j mediately asks her pardon; reads the P/tunny -Phellews ai.d laris hekause he kati’l help it ; hooks upfiis wife’s dress and plays iio.‘s with the children.— Never meddles with the cream m the milk pans; goes eazily ov errands, and cuins back in seazou ; attend evrv bud dy’s phuneral; kan alwuz tell when the moon changes ; thinks just az yon do, follows evry buddy’s advice but his own ; praktices most ov ihe virtews without knowing it ; leads the life ov a shorn lamp; gits sick after a while, and dies as soon az he kau to save making ennv further trouble. The model man’s vices are not fear ed, nor his virtews tespekied He lives in the memory ov ihe world just about az long az a pleasant day dtiz. He may be cilletl a “(diver fellow,” ami that iz only a libel; but be vvli! git hiz reward hereafter —when the birds git theirs. A little man in the west of Maryland rushed to the Potomac river, lasi sum mer, swearing that he would drown himselt. When he had waded into the depth of his waist, his wife, who had followed him, seized him by the hair, and then, as a spectator describes it, she led him back until she had reached j a place where tbe water was about uvo . feet deep, tv he re she pulled him over ! backwards, souring his head under, arid ‘ then pulling bis head u,> again : 'Drown 1 yourself, (down- he went), leaving me ;to keep the children! (another plunge.) Got drunk ! (another souse) and start for the river ! (another dip.) B tier use water instead of rum! (another dtp and shake of his head.) I’ll leant you to leave me a widow!’ After sousing him to her heart’s content, she led him out, a wetter if not a wiser man, anil es corting him to the house, shut the door. A Darkey’s Opinion.—De truf is. tie white folks feel above uu. and as dey see weiseben wit]’em, it kind <»l ag. ravates them. And as to de Yankees, dev are worse dan our folks. A Y in- I kee never knows wiiett to stopaxiu a ntgger to work ; and when de end of ae year come, an’ you ax hi n foruuu • ey. blesa de lord, you owes Jivn. For Hie Girlt-ilow to Get a Husband. From an excellent communication published in the Columbus, Mississippi j Judex ot June, we copy the following •vxprt .ss!y for the girls | Being old and therefore allowed li* t cense lor teasing the girls on matrimo nial subjects, l consult them about their luture prospects, and find that the opinion obtains with them that the young men were never so slow in pro posing as in these days; which, we , must admit, gives them a good, not to j s iv all-powerful, reason for not taking ' a husband. Now, young ladies, the whole secret with nine-lentlis ot you, of not being able to get off your parent s Tiands, is simplv ibis; you dou t know how to work. You call l keep house. You can’t make a pair of breeches. — I You can’t tell, for the life ol you, the • diff rence between bran and shorts, or i\\ iiich cow give the buttermilk, i’iie I young men generally came out ol the j war “with the skm oi their teeth,” with ' no fortune. 1 might say. but their ward i robes o 1 gray and their canteens, and j to marry with them now, rest assured, j relates more to making a living, with the assistance of a loving, industrious help mate, than indulging tn opera music, moonshine and poetry. Do you know what they say ol one of your buitertlv young ladies win* has held them in the parior engaged bv the hour listening to ••elegant nothings/” Nme [ teen tiines“(‘ut ol twenty it is ibis , ••Weil, she is all right for an evening’s I entertainment, but she will not iraku a good wile?” i There is no possible objection to the accomplishments ol music, painting ; and the like, but the idea is to be able to set these parior amusements aside ! lor the puiml when the stern duties as married iife call for your practical knowledge. Show ihe young men I hat you can do your part ol the double i business; that you can cook a meal’s 1 victuals on a pinch; that you can sweep no and -Jus!, and darn old stockings, and save a penny toward ail accumu late? pound; that you wll not lie a dead expense to him through lile. Be lieve me, young Iriends, as many true, heroic, womanly bear's beat over household duties as flutter beneath the soft light of a parlor chandelier. Your kiss is just as sweet, vour smiles just as hrigln, your heart as happy and tender alter a day s exertion in a sphere worthy • I true womanhood, as in places ol dissipation, frippery and silly amusement. Ha ve an ambition to Jo your part in life; cultivate industrial habits, and let the palor accomplish ments go with the higher accomplish ments 1 have just enumerated. It is I astonishing how soon a domestic young lady is found out and appreciated. It is because she is such a rare exception to the general rule. Spiced Vinegar. Here is a New Orleans story, told by one who saw the parlies at the t-ibSe; ! Last summer, while residing in New Orleans, a youth, who stood five feet eh ven and three quarters in his stock ings, and hailed from somewhere up the Wabash, was invited by a friend to J j lie at the same house wliert I was board.ng. This was the 11 msier’s first visit away from home, and lie told his friend, who was in the produce business, and had purchased ins cargo of corn, as they took their seats at thj table, that he expected he would show him all the siglns m town, as be want* ed to let all the folks at “hum” know about it. The servant brought a plate of soil}) ; and observing a gentleman nearly opposite put considerable catsup in his dish, our llousier pointed to a botile of peppei sauce, and asked bis . neighbor what it was. j “Spiced vinegar,” was the reply. I “Wall, ’spose yer ’bilge a feller by ' hamlin’t along.” ••Certainly,” was the answer. The lloosier took the bottle, and j commenced dosing into his soup ; but j as the sauce did lint flow very freely, he took out the cork, at the same time observing to his friend : j “Kinder close folks j*er stoppm* with, to pul such a plaguy little hole in that, to prevent a feller’s takiu’ much of the stuff. I ’spose it comes high, don’t it ?” During the time, lie poured nearly a wineglass full into his soup; and taking his spoon, he dipped it lull, logt-l.ier with several peppers, and put into his mouth, I’he next instant he spurted the contents of bis spoon across the table, into a French gentleman’s bos om, and bawled out: Water! Water! Snakes snd wild cats, give rne some water! I’m all | » fire !” j “By gar, sair!” exclaimed the Frenchman, in a rage, jumping up from ! the taole, “you have spoiled my shirt, 1 my vest, sail-. Spoil everything, sair!” By gar, 1 snail s<-e about this, sair!” In the meantime, the lloosier had seized a pitcher containing water, and i taken a tremendous draught. Selling down the pitcher, he ejed the French man lor a m uncut, and Wien yelled : “Goufnund your old shirt! ’Spose l was g >iu’ to burn my ui'ards out for l you or yer sinrt? ycr m?an cusu! Come down to the boat, and I’ll give you one of mine.” It was with mu.-h difficulty tho Noosier’s friend could allay the French man's rage and set matters all straight again. But evtr alter “apievd viupyar” was a by-word, and sufficient to set a whole table in a roar. Fate of si Daughter ollltn ta ro 11 f. It row u A most interesting will case has just been decided in Nashville. Miss Cynthia Saunders, the daughter of Mrs. Aaron V. Brown, was married during the war to a Colonel Williams, a Federal officer. lie won tier affec tions while affording some protection to her family’s properly during the war. lie u > sootier murrie I her, ac cording to some of the witnesses, than he coerced her by his treatment into his trembling and wretched slave instead oj Ins adored wile. In this condition he moved her to his mother’s home in Philidelpnin, where she pined away and d ; eil. While thus tortured lie is alleged to have coerced a will which i leaves till the propetty 10 him and his ! heirs in perpetuity, and proscribes front its beuelits her loud mother and loving sister and brother. Before dying ho sent her mother a blasphemous dispatch informing'her of the approaching diso lutioii of her daughter, fits wife. Mrs, Biown hastened to Philadelphia, whero | alie was subjected to the most cruel I indignities, such as humbling herself on tier knees, before lie would permit ' tier to see her dying daughter. When 1 she reached her room her daughter was j insensible. This was the close of this diluted woman’s career. Wo knew her as a love'y young school girl, the favorite of all who visited her family circle, and afiorvvard as she blossomed into lovely womanhood, and can sym pathize with tier relatives in the deep misery which her marriage entailed. The jury lound against the will.— Williams resorted to the usual devices nl a desperate and defeated litigant— the gross in iseonduot ol a juryman and the other howl, so fashionable in these days of undue outside pressure, be cause he is an exT’ederal officer.— Memphis Jipptul. A Puzzle—AieliOMiiop Whatley once Puzzled a number of clever men in whose company he was, by asking '.hem this question: ”li'»w is it that white sheep eat mors than black '?•* fc*ome were not aware of the curious tact; others set to work and tried to give iearuee and long answeis but all were anxious to know the real cause. Alter keeping them wondering lor some time,he said: ’’The reason is because there are more of them.” Mrs. Partington says: For my part I can’t deceive what on airth eddicalum is coming to. When 1 was young, if a gal only understood ti e rules of dis traction, provision, multiplying, replen ishing, and the common denominator, and knew ail about the rivers and their obituaries; the covenants and their dormitories, the provinces and the umpire, they had eddicatinn enough. But now they have to study bnttomv, algerbav. and have to demonstrate suppositions about the sycophants of circusslangents and diagonies of par allelogram* to sav nothing of oxhides, ashea'is. cowsticks, and abstruse »rian j gles. And here the old lady was so j confused with the techmr.al names thet | she was forced to stop. I’ll Kcsp ’em Awake. Near Newark lived a pintis family who had an adopted orphan, who, by the way, was rather underwitted. lie had imbibed strict views on religions matters, however, and once asked his adopted mother if she didn’t think it wrong for the old farmers to come to ’church and fall asleep. paving no better regaril to the service. She replied she did. Accordingly before going to church thp next Sunday, lie filled bis pockets with apples One bald headed old inan who invariably went to sleep during the sermon particularly attract ed hi* attention. Seeing him at last nodding, and giving his usual evidence of being in the “land of dreams,” he took the astonished sleeper a blow with an apple on the top of his bald pate.— The minister ami aroused congregation at once turned round and indignantly gazed at the bov, who merelv said to tbe preacher, as he took another apple in h's hand, with a sober, honest ex pression of countenance. “You preach ; I’ll keep ’em awake !” —A lady, during the past season, told her new “help” that they would have the cucumbers ihrt had just coma from the market, for tea. giving direr tionß about peeling and slicing them. At the supper.table, a queer odor came from the tea urn, and a queer liquid trickled from its. nose. “Bridget.” raid the lady, ‘wnat is the matter with the te.d” “ludade, mem,” was the reply. -I think it must be the cowcumbieg.” “The cucumbers!” screamed the ladv, •what do you mean?’ “Why, you t »ld me, mem ” said Bridget, somewhat surprised, ‘you told me to have ’em tor lay, and fjix I put ’em to the ; av . NO. 5