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VOL. C. TIIK WEEKLY Curlers vllic Express* Ik pubi mlipil every m ii nj. in Carteraville, Harlow County, (Ja., liy Smith &. Midam, Prnv.i-irtr.rs. mt Tlie.BE 110 l IttlS, per an i-lricf'ij i'i- uJi'nice ; I'wo Hollars for <« tx Mout is ; »'n< Dollar i r Three Months. A Iverti tCiiicnts fir o.n* in >uth. or less time One Dollar per square, often line* or less,) f or riu -|, insertion ; all other adverli-cmcntß ;1 be charged Filly per cent on old prices. PROFESSIONAL CABD". _ = m r c A. HOV/AHD, attorney and counsellor at law, C iUTEKSVILLE. HA . W. H. PRITCHETT, Attorney at Law- CARTERSVILLE. GEORGIA. Pi j pK'KS Law in all the courts ot the <'i»<‘.-okc t- circuit and counties adjoining Da. tow. Jltn23 ’ THOMAS W. MILNER, Attorney Lit Kiiw., CARTfRSYILLE. GEORGIA. WiSl at end prompt!y to business entrusted , to his cine. Oet. 5 wly | TIIOS W DODD, Atto rn c y at la a w AND COUNTY COURT SOLICITOR. liiiilfttloii. Oa. Will give particular attention to the coll'-cUoR ol claims. Oct 20. .1 o s*:» *■' - B i anion, ATTORNEY & COUNSELLOR AT LAW, KINGSTON, (; -A. K \ l \ (VrU'K't !, -V W in the several eoun | u,-« of the Cherokee Circuit, nl-o. I‘olk, II vrr ils ui in 1 Floyd ouiidea, Prompt at- | teuli hi given to business, Nov. 23. ly ( Professional cards SIQ cash per nnrnim.j JOHN W. WOFFORD. Attorney at, LaW) CARTERSVILLE, GA, Also. FIRE INSURANCE AGENT. l lie best Northern and Southern Companies. (bin be buiinl lit lilt' I lW office ol \\ o(Tufll l <ll 111 It A jir'rl 10, 1800. JQNES & MALTOSE, A!TURNEYS AT LAW. Cartersville , Ga. WIT,!, attend promptly toallhnsiiessen truated to their cure. Will praet <ein j (b - C < irt ofl c.v, an 1 equity n the Gherokuc Circuit. Special iitle.ition given to the collec x u of claims. J-m- E >Y oh.i 1-d ices. lb Abdthic. JONES TANARUS: MALTBIE. jiCH, a'.-.va' vi s-i %4«ai vrs, CARTERSVILLE GA ’.Ve a <• au'.’inrtxed t ■ < 1 . *■«' "ivc on hum! -eve at it . , t 1 11 « iiu \v x*»ui' but«M'Hi Tott* \ 'i l I . '** ' V \ t , ii- -u’l .- Ale, sever I »>1 • ntnti -ns ~f v»r' j o’lVila -'''l ’"'v von tv. P,riles .le- or v I vild. veil ta-veui , e.»tl. At <■ • •"•“■> v-* lo s |H- .11 ]> ly n-OVrird .T.t vl. eb). i S u v $ e o si ft is tl Mechanical IDontist.. ffl'MIH u idersigmul respeotfully oiler liis pro -3 le. ioo. a. I services to the eUc/.ens of lar •e -vilie and vicinity. rs~r~\ He is prepared ~ do all kinds ti work Iwlongin* t vhispro'Vssi.m. JJmT Full setts ot umlh put in on gold plate. Work all war tZ T F.M. JOHNSON. Cor'-crsville, Feb. 13. DU. T. F. JONES, TSMINDEKS his professional services to the I citizens of KINGSTON and vicnity. and •espvllullysuiie its a pillion oft eir patronage. June 2. DR. HUGH A. BLAIR, l»hysi«'iii!« asset burgeon, rttrsville. Georgia, v ]•) K?*'ECTFULLY iti.dersh's piofewfioiial services ta tTv“(i"i>-v i h « ,p »iilence, ou Main Si., T te rrsl dvnee ol M r. P. Mar.li. tuue'n. D«i. o. PlSKElllOtl, Cartersville, Gcarg o. 1,1.1. s Ids prrffisi n*l Bt vicf to the <■ I nive of . arlersvi! «• a> <1 »n r> "I'“* v c< u *’ j" ~ , ~'JI.MU-.. Office up-.1l sin l‘r. , j Ntw Unck Bulidlny. Maj Id. ISO., aly Lanie r lions c, MARIETTA, (JA., BY ELLISON A 03333, Proprietor * raMllS II «use s located hi a few steps of he J, Kailroad, where the ears stop. Passengers lait‘' three meals a day here. Meals prepared a a!! hours. j‘dy -I- S. 11. Pattillo, FASHIONABLE TAILOR, 11-111 Atteioi iirmnpov t , Iht r itM v. i-ti’ j V? o'S o and M -kini; Bey's and Meu’ Cio hlny. C2.'; ii Luc rnoin <1 liiair <k ill adjl.-aii sitere. y Cartsr.vide, tl». 1 ' Dress Tailor liS prepared to execute nl’ kinds to! Ivor, in the Fashionable Tail iugline with ncatne.sand in du rabie style. Over J. Fisas &. Cos s store, Cartersville, jau 2d. "jFT-W- MAXWELL, BSLICK MASON, Is p-etisred to do all kinds of work in Rii- k sod tene at sh rt n tice. Has on hand a fir e lot of newly burned nick and is prepared to do woik upon the m »st reas.-iah e t«rm<. Cur eisvil l - G.u, Mlj |rd. P£l. The Cartersville Hotel. DR. THOMAS MILAM having chirge of this House, would be § **' pie.iscd to accomm nlate a f w Bour-l ” ! i 5* ers with BOARD, with oj without Lorlging. CailanJ see him at once for terms Carttrsvillej Jan 17. THE CARTERSVILLE EXPRESS CARTERSVILLE ADVERTISEMENTS, ECU PSE j a 'J Sate' S faille, J. G. Stocks, TANARUS) MPECTFUI.LY 101 l y (he p, 1,! c y- oerallv that Jl t e j s- "j»- l,i« New ai,<l C •iniooUi onp LIVE' Y AMI .-ALE STAHLE, and h s it stock eil wHi (foou 1,, r-es i,ny i.-p, , and is i r-pared to tu> niah ihnse travelinx into a <U ncro-’a il,e c u try w t)i etiy tint] ~| j, i ute e->tiv.yaii,-e. lie is B'.o J, >- i to iJ -aid St cl: 'ii a' yq r iri-y wit coii,f„ t : t'l- q',«• l-rs an,| , onn'if<i: U-e.l h t re. s >i,at)!e r.its. Stir k in'tii;l,t and -old at his .‘nhies Hlss ! tKika l ••ring f' e.-H ■< nd ,qni|,iye 'nv he f! ,»1 e•’ him-eif with the oeli.f Ilia - , h-c in f ri h hs i-iis'oin rs with as ) e n nil i c unp'e-, an mn-fii as any li\e cstati i hmer.t in U|,[,ei- Gcr.i . AI he sxk« to est h i,ti iti - fact is a ti ia! CAR ! EftSVII I.E. GA. March 2.', ISO*. w c arc requested b\ C<>l' J- G. Stocks to an nounce o the public, that he has bought out the J.ivery Stock of J. J. Jones J.-, and that the two Stables will he consolidated, and that the following list of prices will be strictly adhered to. Hack horses,an ! driver p»r day .... #7,00 11 r-c. 15 icny and Driver “ “ ... f.T.00 il" te &. Ii !isj.y " »• ? ,0d “ “ ff.fn Sid (be li»r»® ye 1 $2 60 ♦ ■* -‘x ‘i iy W. L. Kirkpatrick & Cos., Druggists, cartersville, ga. WILL keep constant on hand a well seeded stock of pure DRUGS MID MEDICINES, £■ & £ 1 S 8* G US, IS'Sa^ Patent Medicines* &c. Jones’ Carriage Repository* Jar. 17. s * CASKETS. By Erwin & Jones. ASSORTED sizes • opt on hand. Also VV OOD-COFFINS made to Older. V g.,- i ! Ht'l XRSE r i lv at all hours. CARTERSVILLt- Feb I, 18tl7. wly . it, TIOIIXWASTLE, | Jetvcller anti Watch and ClocEi Repairer, In the Front of A. A. Skinner & Go’s store - Cartersville pin £5 James W. Strange, Dealer in STOVE'S GRATES, IRON, HARDWARE, PLAIN AND JAPANNED TIN WARE, &C. Glean Linen aim Cotton R igs taken in ex change for G to.ls. Repairin., Roonng and Guttering done with neatness and dispatch. Cartersville, IVov. 1. wly J. 13. Mobsrts RETAIL DEALER IN Corn, Meal, Floor. Iliteon. Sugar, FofiTee, Tobacco, &.c. &o. At Skinner Shepherd’s old stand, on Main street, between Jones’ Carriage. Shop and Strange’s Tin Sh >p. ISe&“ R. R. Harcs with J, E. Roberts je 21,- ts. Cartersville, Ga. Samuel Clayton, R. A. Clayton. S CLAYTON & SON-, DEALERS IN GENERAL MERCHANDISE, AND COMMISSION MERCHANTS, CARTERSVILLE, GA. We keep » eetieral stock and can fn-nish you wi'h m.yt iii yon w ut. C rue to see u —we will se:l you kiwis.,—r r as-->i li e pric. S. Come and look at our 61 cL —Ni li-rm duet if Wecant'rade. If friends tuvor usivuh eonsiiiiim i ts or orders, we will use tur tvtij u n j oen.r t of their interests. BUTTER, EGGS, DRIED BLACKBERIES dkc. taken at in a I kcl fates for yoode. 5000 LBS. Clean Cotttn and Unca wanted. When ready sacked we will tske them at 3 cen - pe-lh. for goods. Bii f t>'em in anv quantity. J¥~Mr. Uriah 6'rp h eos i- v. JtH us—he i-.viles all his fri • dslc-<■ I! -nd see what he cm du for hem -Via- ta Quotation.. weil for Go;d Da-t srd old BauklUj, ie2S. CARTERSVILLE GA. AUGUST 10. 1807. CARTERSVILLE ADVERTISEMENTS. Setting JTlncFituC Oil, T) T at the Baltimore Chemical Works, for JL haie Ly B&K. sssx a ssAitsa, DEALERS IN Chemicals, Paints, &c , &c. Proprietors of Kramers Hair Pestora tive, Psoricus, Universal Bitters, Nerve & Bone Liniment, &c. Cartersville, Ga. "VTTE hog L ave to inform the citizens gen , | erally, and physicians particularly, that we have on hand a large, well selected stocK of Drngii and Medic!tie*, and are ready to fill orders at the lowest prices. Being aware of the great adulteration prac ticed in preparing Medicines, we have made arrangements to have this done under our "wn supervision, and will warrant ail our Medi cines pure. As we buy in the best niarKets in the country, and buy entirely for cash, we can supply our customers with goods as cheap as the; can possibly be bought elsewhere, We will duplicate any bill of g-oods bought south of Louisville. | Respectfully soliciting your orders, we are Yours verv respectfully, Feb 8, 1867. BEST & KRAMER. J. A. & CT .Ii c receiving their Stock of SPRING AND Ihnnmcr Coubs, COMPRISING everv variety adapted to the wants of the country, which they a:e de.oriuined to sell at the Lowest Price s Cheaper than the Cheapest! All are invited to CALL, EXAMINE AND BUY bargains. Terms: Cash ! and our motto is Small Profits. Caitersville, Ga., April 10, ISG7. NEW STORE! NFW GOODS ! And New Arrangements. The undersigned takes pleasure in announcing to the c ; t zens of Cirr.ersville and-urrou-dinfr country, that he has jn-t. opened out a most sp'.ended and FASH ION AB-Lh. Stock of «sut« a DRY GOODS, udanteT to the warts of the people, which he proposes X;> sell at P ice to BU!T the TIMES. L idles wi i find almost Every thing pertaining to their wardrobe. gentlemen will find Material and Furnishing Goods for Clothing. Families will find all kirds of pnods common for do* MESTiC USE, also BOOTS, SHOES, Hats, Bonnets, Hoop Skirts, Umbrellas &c &c. wi!l keep on hand a large lot of FACTORY •^YAF^TSI'S nF WOULD be h poy to receive cIU at anytime His and jors are thrown wifi- open, and the invitation is to a!’. Come and examine hia goods M nd pri es. Next ,io. r to A. A. Skb.ner & Cos .a- <1 jus' below ‘.he Po-t.>ffi:e, U. FEnGC'ON, J. T. ''TOCRIi with FerguajX, Cartersville, G »., May Ist 1567. ii§© .Hcres of Bartow I I propose to sell three tracts of of Land embracing 1290 ACRES. and will give the best bargains now offered in the county. Ist .Tract. 9’o acres—tOO acres cleared, good fence and in a high sr. tte of eultlva'inn. The whole ’.rac' lies ne'l. p•■"iu. es'reelv and is plca«an to cupivale. I-is ne>r **WO MEUCH 'NT MILLS C HURT MIES AND HIGH SCHOOLS c •nveuient —tiea th mi l society The ioq -uveu eiiis consist of a newly nnisheo " .elling with six rooms—G u h-use S&iilh’s shop and other nece-sary rutbuil insr*. together wi;h slioiherteparaie euemeuts on ti e place. 2nd Tract. Contains 820 acres—SO cleaned, improvements common. This pl<ue Lea 1 mile of the town of Euuariee. 3rd Tract, Contains 50 acres, one half c, e at and The above lands can be bought separate nr tosrethe - -, Terms e sy. Interest in present crop -oLI with th place jr . esired and posses-ion given, lorty day« from and y of sale. B.T. LEtRL. June 1,1867. w3m STACEY FFOTJSF2- CLAY ROBERTS, Proprietor, Cliurcli Street, NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE I July 19 1567 CABTERSVIHS ADVERTISEMENTS ' WSm CAKKIAGE KKrOSITOKF AYD CARTERSVILLE, GA. Spociai alien lion given to Ucpitir* iilg - . HAVING opened business at my obi stand, I am prepared t> do any and ai! Li.ius of work de-irod in the t arriage Line, at low figures for casl . I shall keep on hand a fine assortment el' Buggies & Carriages and can, >t short notice, furnh h airy kind o ; a VEHICLE des red, Having connected myscll with Messrs. Wyman & May, Augusta, a a well known unu reliable firm. I will sell , at Augusta Prices freights added, , from tbe bee-1 Factories at the North ft''d East. All of which will be warranted right, | Being well acquainted with the country and l people, with long experience in the i-usiness, IP iri ose to furnish the market with such work as will give perfect satisfaction, I shall j be able to furnish the nitir° country, esne | faci Hies are unlimited. Call and examine,it j shall cost you nothing. I feel assured that j the good people of this county will appreciate j the honest efforts of ont of tiieir ol.i citiz ns, ; broke down by Hie war li. 11. JONES, I January 17. *867 wlv o£d”debtsT! OLDBSBTS!!! All persons indebted to the old Mercantile ■ firms of of HOWARD, STOKE LY cc CO.. ; and J. A. & S. ERWIN, are respectfully urg ed to make liberal payments on these debts out of the p csent wheel crop. AH who refuse to respond to this call for only part payment will be sued. 'J bese debts are from six to ten years standing, an • longer’tidnhrence cannot be giv en. Call at J. A. ERWIN & CO.’B store where tbe claims are, and make liberal pay ments and ,-ave eiuts. Cartersville, Ga., June 18, i6fl7. 'narletT Slserißl SaSes. For the first Tuesday in September next. WILL be gold befe re the Uourt&ouM Joer In th“ town of Carter.v>l:e, on tbe firs. Tuesday in Sept, r.ext, within Segal sale hou.s, the tciiowmg property tj «>t Lot of Land t.umber 1i99, in the I.th dis trict of the 3d section, now Bartow county, levied on as the property of Benjamin Turner, by virtue of a “fi fa,” i sued from the Super or court of Bartow county, in favor of Warren A l -in vs Andrew Hamilton, and Andrew J. Earp makers, and Benjamin Turner, indorser. A Iso, 2300 acres of land, more or less, known as the Rowland Spring property, and one tenth interest in the property of the Etowah Manufacturing & Mining Company ie'ieil on as the property of Wm. T. Quiuby, lo satisfy tundry fi la’s in my hand, and in favor of John L. Rowland, and Francis N. R nvland execu tors of John L* Rowland, deceased, vs W. T. Quinby issued from Bartow Superior Court, ami in favor ofE. Lewis vs Wm, T. Quinby issued from Bartow County Court, one in favor of C aides D. Phillips vs, Wm.T. Quinby, is sued fiom Bartow JSupemr Court—one in fa vor of J. R. Parrott vs Wm. T. Quinby issued from Bartow Superior Court, P inter’s Fe - one and dlar on ert-h 3 fir. Also—one house and lot in the t'wn of Cartersville.whereon F Walter Pritchett now resides, levied on to satisfy two fi fa’s issued from Bartow Superior Court, one in fav >r of Charles D. Philips vs John L Row-land and F. M. Rowland executors of John S Rowland deceased, one in favor of J. R Pariott vs. said i Rowland’s : levied on a.< the -property of said j Rowland’s Also—Two Houses and Lots in the. town of Kingston, containing one acre each, one occu pied by Thos Hargis, the other occupied by Frank W hithorn, levied on as the property ofTnoroas Haigis to satiefy an fa issued from Bartow Superior court in favor of Hutcherson ; & Pritchett, vs Hargis & Fulie. : property ( pointed out by defendant, Also, Lot of Land where m R. ?*T. C. Ware resides, number not known, in the 17th distirct and thrid section of Bartow county, io satisfy a fi fa issued from Bart, w Superior court in favor of Thomas Tumiin vs Robeit M. C. Ware and J. A. SeWoli, ievied on as the prop erty of Robert M. C. Ware, pioper'y pointed out by said Ware. j Also at time and pltme One House and lot I in the town of Carte-svillc now occupied by Dr. J. W. F. Best Levied on as the prop, rty of E. i B, Presley, To satisfy aft fa is-ue i by the In* . feri r Court of ( s a County in favor of Thayer Dewing & Cos. Vy. E. B. Presley —Also at same time and place Two Mare mules (mouse colored, large size) and one two horse family carriage & sett of double harness, Levied on as the property of John L Rowland to satisfy afi fa issued from B irt >w 1 Countv Court.m favoroflsreal I 3 C ,v ‘ s Against j John L Rowland, to satisfy a‘Hi fa.” issued I from Bartow Superior court, in favor of P. Davis, agai st John L. Rowland. —also — One House & Tmt at Al atoona Depot, oc cupied by Hopper -A Wofford, lo satisfy thiee Justice court -- f; fair” officers of court vs. Hammond & Clayton, as the property o‘' defendants. Levy made and returned by a constable. Yv’.L Gi)OL’>* IN Sheriff, AaFjDN COLLIXS, August, 1. Deputy Sheriff. CANCERS CAN BE~ OTTIEcIECID rtP.Sfi\3 guffeiing *itb Career-. Ulcers nr ehX sores can be cured by appi} ieg to the uad.r igoed. .Lnciuse oce Bcllar aci a loress A. >l. COCIIR CANuKti OOCT<>R, *ng, 11567, Gaincsv.ile, Ga. Wanted—. 4 Wife. V t imagine- the author of the following i; F'* lcr hard to please, but we think if ar.v ot our young ’a.lv readers will fill the bill, he will , nuke her a good husband : I war.t a wife, a first-rate wife— A girl that s all mv own i o ro >k nr, meaie anJ cheer tny lifo ith smiling word and tone, I want a kind of app’e girl, Ripe, rosy-chcekeil and sound, u hose tender feelings sorter quid And turn me all around. A girl with cheeks like holly-hocks, Industrious kind and true, i fiat s smart enough 'o so >t my socks And mend mv ciothes like in w. A g ri ihat ne’er will pledge a vow To any clitip but me— That s been brought up t > milk a cow And have warm cakes for tea. Like tallow lips her eyes must be, As melling and as brigh , Thei'ii Jo to court by, you see, And save another light. She must be as graceful as the bell Upon the lily found, .An l make such butter asw’ll sell For thirty i en’s a pound. ‘ Genies Jlunro” i l ies the Pat ent t otv Milkier. Massissipfi, (what uster bk) June ’G7. Euiteks •Southern Kultivaior: 1 wnr sitiiu kalinly at Ik»iiiu, enjoy hi the sweet repose ol beio under my own vuie and fig bush —smoking my pipe and rumuiaun over the ups and down? ol inis here present onsarlam xisteiice, with Rhody An by my side, noddin and niititt by turns —tuai is ter sav, Kliodv war dom tliis latter —when slie begun, durin a wake interval, in llns wise: ••(iemes, my dear, why don’t yer move outer sight that Buggy i’icnv kareass ? Thar it sets, knocked up agin the same stump, wliar it got smashed niore’n a year ago —mint done our family any good. Ther sight of it gives me the hippo, makes Robert swear, and you yerseifaint the same man when you passes that stump —wish you’d hide that konvrapsiou or burn it up weaisit hud no luck since its been here. It nr a monitmul ol vonr foolishness, (letnes. and will Gaiit tne liappiu.is of this here family as long as it suys litre; ought ier he a waruin to us all—tnal is ter say—waruin ter you partikular.” — ■Says I, “iiave yer got any more C-Jift Enterprises to sell now, Ruody?” Giv er puff with my pipe, and sorter looked round to %ee how she’d take that, llowsever, she war noddin, and I war giatf , fur i had ventured on a tender suhjeek—one to which 1 didn’t keer to skinnish words with Rhody, kuowin I’d koine out 2d l>est, and have to sur render tliout Uiskresion. 1 know’ll what were the better part ol valier. having found out long ago twont do to aggervate lolks oftlie (email persuasion, 'i lia ar a quar sorter mixter, anvhow —got kreation by the back ov the neck, now. Talk er bout yer "Lords ov kreation !” Aim they Sardines be side yt-r Miss Lucy (J. btoue tVlutles? “Weaker vessels!” I say, berhoJd won au’s rappid proggressive strides up North. Yes, sir. see her ihar with 1 fell stroke, snach herself from the wash tub, tlier kichen tire or darnin ov stocins —"et id omnus generribits ” — ami light on top ol er horse, gwiue round with M. D.’s saddle bags, felin pulses and givin phis, pukes and laitin perskriptions —standin up ir the pulpit ! and trym ter explain ther Book, what | says tlrey might lei “be silentor else, ; witli krackm toes, koinmimikatiu with spirit hem’s of auulher world lifiiu up the future veil, ami tel lin yer thoui fail, who you’re going to marry tor £$ You’d skase ex pee one ov their sex ter perklaim in public on any tex ; but they do. Yes, sir. berhold ],. L L. D. M. I). Anny Dickerson spouitn out irooi the phortnn on permiskuous subjects —makin the shad ov derinostbernes git shadier in shaine. Whither, oil! wiiulu-r, ar we poor men folks er drill in. Rimdv drapped her hit ti n which woke her up, and stopped my koggitations ou above dargerous grounds “What’s tf;ml you said bout Gift Enterprise , Kol’n Munro,” said Rhody. 1 didn’t like that • Kurnel,” aforesaid. Want l glad, when 1 heard Robert ax. at the hack door, “whar’s daddyand didn’t ; I git up quick and go see what the boy wanted. Lo ks gits in a hurry some times fur particular reasons, ami / hud mine, just then —/ did. Bob had just | k.uin truin the Depo, and brung me a letter and a little box. Well, l tuck the things ami went hack lo wliar Rhody war siltin. “Sakes er live, Genies, what’s that yer got this time.” “Box and a letter,” says I. “Don’t put that box down so near me,” said Rho dy. “it might be a Torpeder shore eisuff. ter blow up this here naborhood, fur sarvin that Yankskonl master so wish Sal Morrow had never bin horn.” Well, I Lusted open the letter, and red iher konlents to Rhody, which went runnin in this wise : »* Col'n Gemes Munro —l hav* seen your satirical strictures on the “Sulky' Plow," (unjust as 1 conceive them,) I and take the liberty of this day ex pressing you a small patent machine, ol recent invention, for which I am sole lasting her' by to convince your biased Southern mind that one good ‘bing. at least can come out of this our -\ OTOrr’h. I on!v that you give it * fair tii;;!. am! candid! v state iis merits thrum;h the public prints. 1 I; ve !h ’ 1 -mor &c., R. M-JONES. JR.. Agmt. For ColyjiTs P.ucot Gow Milker.*’ ‘■F -S '- Minnie directions. Ac., ac company. Yoms, R. M. J.” i he say k "w-mi!ker,Gem's?” es, says I. “Gracious giioui’-iss,” -■iid R';ody. “it must be a live thin« throw the koutrapsion in the tire.” 1 bet its fad er snaiks, lizards, skorpians, and a th'misan things ter kill folks with.” -- .vi.’ said I, “i; ar a m ichim*. R'mdy, am! can’t hurt.” “Don't stand '<» reason.” said Rhodv, “how can a merchine sue er kmv ?” “Don’t know” said I. “let’s see,” and I opened tfie box ami tuck the trick out. it war a kurious kontrapsion. You’ve sect! these lit-re double barrel fixins folks stares through in a Theater. Well, it had -1 things sorter like them, up side dow, ami made outer injun rubber, and fixed on ter a piece tr hast iron—2 little hellose handles and a spout like them on a grist mill, wliar the meal koines outer; smelt sorter like hot varnish and injun rubber kombined. Rhody tuck off her specs, wound up her nittin, stuck tbe needle in the ball, folded her arms on lie.- bosom, kieared her throat, sighed, and bergun lettin off' in this here sorter stile: K duel Guiles M m ro. the v. lode w.-rLi froui New Ihiirt siiyre to New Orleens, ar gittin ter think we ar the fmdishest f.unilv m hit, ami I begin ter believe mvselfef the foot killer war to k*ome by here mnv, you and Hubert would have a slim show in for your lives.” Gittin ' sorter riled myself, says I. “spi.se your • Ido’s insured in the il rilonl Ivanuitiivut Kompany. Says she, “first :u, I lour- ! most, that’s yer Buggv “Yes,” j says I, “ami tliar’s ver Gft Enter, i prise." “Yes,” says she, “and tliar’s : ver koiton piekin Mcrrhiiies win' -core I out yer briclies, and” “Yes,” i says 1, “and t liars yer wafer full what ! loch a rain old Noa’s flood were ;i drizzle beside.” Then drawin another ' sorter sigh, pnttin on her specks and piekin up her nittin sbe*said. “Weil,! Gemes. i wouldn’t be surprised if we ! ain’t all fools.” “That’s my opinion : said Land we koineided lor the 1st 1 time l feclin like I’d whipped a bard | light for once in mv lilt*. I 'lien her- j gu:i readm the direeksion fur using the merchine. When I got to that place wliar it says it “can milk a kow in 3 minits,”4 retd that out loud. “Weil, j well, well,” said Rhody, -- in 3 niinils? —jest, suppose it koiild do that, Gemes, ! wouldn’t it be a lerrybio sa' in er time —takes me most I hour ter milk 4 kow’g—don’t strip em clean then, even 1 —besides leavi n a tit for the kalf. ; Wouldn’t ih-’t kontrapsion suck all the tits at once, tliout leavin any for the ' kalf.” “Yes,” says I, “yer don’t want no kalf—you kill tliat.”"“What makes' the kow give down her milk when you begin niilkiu, if tlmr aint no k ill'to start her, Sides, limv dc von keep up your stock cr kattie, if yer kill all the kalfs.” said Rhody. “However, proof ot the puddin ar ter cb.aw ttie hag. Gemes. spose you and Robert see what the thing can do this evenin, tlimit lettin anybody else know nothin about hit. Tt e nabors mde bio win horns ot ther mouths bout them other things all over the kountry—shan’t kno mithin bout | this fixin, though.” Weil, that evenin, when I heard the kows a low in up at the cup-pen, Rhody, Robert. I and tier merchine sorter sneaked out er the : house, up ter the cup-pen. “G mes von . must try the tiling furst. / ain’t got j nothin ter do with hit —understand ■ that. ’Thar’s old Brimlle, she ar a ■ gentle kow ; if it knot milk her it can’t suck nillhill saw Orindle, buck yer j iaig,” and she sawed, and I squatted j down sorter under her side, put the piggin mi the ground, and ther tits in the sockets am! bergun pumpin'. I hered a quer sorter stranglin noise the : Ist pump. Kum to lind out, Brindle’s | 2 hind tits were heap smaller than the front ones, and wouldn’t fit. Sockets ; war all the same size. Sides, the thing war so nrful heavy, I couldn’t pe.ntp and hold hit 2. Rhody went out to'Tn-r side ter hold up while I pumped, but the dratted thing strangled wors en et*er—insomuch it skec-red Brimlle, and she begun kiekfn, and put her foot right in the piggin, and spilt : bout 2 tea spoons er milk, what had kom out. “Let’s try Brimlle’s heifTer,” said Rhody, ‘ her’s ar -til the same ! size.” I then went to the heiffer, put the tneruoine on auu bergun pumpin—• this lime every thing lit. After a little 1 seed 2 or 3 draps er milk corn cr drapptu down, but just then mv arm give out holding up the merchine, and Robert started round ter totlier side ter hold it up, but Rhody said, “No you don t Robert, that kow never would let anybody com on that side tliout kickin.” “Well,” said I, “it ar a fail ure, and we’ll have ter give hit up.” Rhody had been redin Shakspire or j somebody else that evening, so she straightened np, put one arm kimbo, luther on her bostun, (sorter stage actio like) and then says she ter rue, talkin away down in her throat, says sk“, - T 2 have given suck and oughter no how tender tis ter lute Use babe that milks n,( —(t'vant none of yer Yank injun rubber pump suckers nuther, Gciues Murr \ but h.i i br.,'.os, i,t;gs arms)— — i!h> .1 it “ ;:r srniliti m my face, (and war a g<*ot! chilti, Gemc*,) I'd pirke its boneless tuns from uv bomm, and das b llier brains out agin the Curst slump, bad I so ««.’•?? 5, as you bout Yank Ms rcbiiKs ti iv and me—-r; ■> though lint fail ai 'fi.'" 'l’iiat war the “onkmdest kill” of my life. Says f, “{{body, I’ll be (i‘d tatted a’f over it I don’t filler ycr bint," and so ...avia, 1 suaclied tho bu,neies9, gum’d pomp sucker from the ltd tier’s busum, a ol war in the act or fiuasbiti a ter binders, when Robert said, “hold on daddy, let me try my hand at liter lixin.” 1 knot'll Rob war an inventive genus, and i <rive hjt to him—leeiin mighty eurius though.— Robert mil down to the house, luck the nreingle off his mammy’s side sadle, and brung liii up—fixed the eireinglo on tlu r merchine to hold i.it, put t!>o tits in, and but krltul the t'.xin tight over the heifer’s bock. “I? 'burl’s perfected the teller's in ere hi ik',” s'id Hhotly. “and it lie war a Yankv. ho would hav a patent riirlit fur it too.” Robert was sorter lilted up by these remarks of Rim mammy and jump and bout quite spryly —bergnu pumpiii miller hard, and hurt the heifer. She stopped eliawiu, swal lowed her cud, turned her head round am! bergnn smellin the merchine. 1 seed s>lie war gitin oneasv, and says I —short and quick, like 1 war m id— says f, “saw you wensh;” but she didn’t saw that time.* No sir. So fur trom ii she begun kiekin rig 'it and left —with Ist one 100t —2d the tolher one. Ist tliino i noed, Robert, piggin and wnat little milk thar war. commingled in a [die, bout JO feet berhiml the kow, an ini ongi nous mixtur, and in a incred ible short time-Robert hoilerin O Lordy ! miik in hi- face, eyes, nose, \ eres— lact is, in all his orgins—bottom of piggin kicked plum out and a rollill long down loanls the house like a little wagon whed.' 1 herd somebody xclaim “Gemiiny, Genie-', dont she roi ? lo -lc out inr versetf.” 1 looked round and seed Riiody goin up a sapplin, quick er’en a gray squirrel. Thar warut non of your eourtin poetry, tht'n. No sir. That old out an war so skewed she couldn't a knurled a piece from the smalltrft pamflat—don’t no -whether she war able ter say her “now I Jay me down to sleep,” even. Site warm feel in supine> jest then. That tliar lieilcr warut giiltn pacified durin all this com motion, umiter. She i ipped and ranted round in a ring try in ter look under herselfter see what \va.r trying ter suck her—then she Plopped, swelled up ter bust the circingle, but it war a qew one, and wouldn’t bust. She thro wed down her head, put her tong not a little and bellered like she smelt Lees blood —then run straight through a ten rail fence, thout jumpin—nnckin rails like pipe stems and tuck a bee line for Par son Mm row’s house'Gemps didn’t that lieilcr caper orl'ul.” said Uhody, seuin away up ynnder out «*» it limb. Says 1, •‘Robert gel up and git a ladder. Yer mammy can’t climb down like site went up:” then lookit* up at Rhody, says I, “givens a passage of poetry for the occasion,” hut she wouldn’t, and I # luck the heifer’s Iran: ter see what had hereout of her. 1 found bushes skinned, and kow liar all the wav long till I com ter the Parson’s ['alios. Thar I seed a big gap down, and over in the corner *»f the yard i hat heifer lay, pan tin powerful, and try in ter look over 10-r sides. Old Miss Morrow’s clothes lint* war twined round her horns, and white clothes scattered perfustdy all round the house 1 went up to the kow, un strapped the merchine and tuck hi* oil. That heifer got up and went ther back track fur home, blowiti orlul. Every door bent the Parson’s house war locked and barred, dost then I lizard a winder razin, and Sally M >rrotv popped her head oulen the 2d story ••Kol. Munro.” said .she, ‘what upon tlie yerll) ails yer cattle— look at them palins and all our clothes.” 1 didn’t care to here nothin more—war lookin fur old M ss Marrow to pop her bed out next. So I just put that merchine ter one side er me, jumped over them palins, and got away from tliar like the lieilcr, and bout as bad scared. Now, Mr. R. M. Jones, Jr., Agent fur aforesaid kow milKer—My l)car Sir :—Your Kow Milker ar a kow dry er. That heifer aint give down nary drop of milk since site war pumped, during her random running through them bushes. 1 think the runnin, aforesaid, put the pumps ter work and sucked her plum dry, afore sJio fell down. Don’t think you or any your folks could, in one week's pump iii, gi' milk enuff out a cow, with the.a sutler machines ter thicken a cop cr hot water tea fur a six months Habv pervided you had ter hold up the fixin and the cow wouldn’t stand a circingle. Now, sir, your merchine has these here •• merrits hit has kicked up a coolness atvvixt the Monro’s and Mor row’s, dryed up a Durrani heifer in 20 noinits, injured the morals and face of Robert (be aiutdone stvarin yit, hardly.) ruined anew piggin, and put a poor old oman up a sapplin—which latter ar a sktndal, in my konamuoity. Please &eep yer home-made Aa!fs in yer own cup-pen, and if yer ever fame down this er way, Rhody'Ll maAe a dry nurse of you mighty quicA, and what’a mor’eu NO. 7