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Till: WEEKLY
{pisisfffl 4UBIBS,
Is published evpr*
THURSDAY MORNING!
In C-irl«-.TlUf4Bs.tow 0 «*., by
Samuel XT. Smitli*
F.UITOR ami PROPRIETOR.
Rale* of Subscription :
» thw month*,
■WES"* 1$
Our co *’ T 01 * ’
(Invariably in advance.)
p. r t|es sdvsrtlstn* will »e restricted In their
’ZJ. to thrir leiflt'mate business; that. Is to say,
r .Jerlisement that, do not refer to their revltUr
»" „ W j|| |.e for extra.
' , C t r Inserted at Intervals to be
t ‘ new e-ich lnserGrn.
[4T The above rules w ' ll bK * !r,ctl y adheredjto.
MU) FESSI 0W A L CARDS.
JOHN’wrWOFFORD,
Attorney at Law,
( iPTERSVIIXE. fiEOfiH.
1 OFFICE OVER CURRY"* STORE.
Ort. 17. 1868.
i nmmercial Hotel, Cartersville, Ga.
BY JOHN C. MARTIN
- vfO-STORY BRICK BUILDING. corner of Depot
4 ,,Uarosnd M.rket Street, ftist Bids tfßallr-ad.
r „ o . n , rood and comfortable.
Vnruitnre and Beddinjt n»w.
for,l office and rradous Dlr.isj; Room
Tjr’es well supplied with the beat that the market
r( |n. and ebaryes moderate.
Proprietor hopes, by (food attention to business,
t .-eire a liberal share of patronage. Dec. 1,1868.
K. W. MURPIIEY,
ATTORNEY at law,
Cartersville . Ga,
t II.L practice In the the Court, of Cherokee Cir
i .jt particular attention given to the colh ctlon
, nj ItJ i. Office With Col. Atida Johnson. Oct. 1
, ff.f. M.IOHNSON,
Dentist,
t ® DECTFULLY offers his Professional
}\ »rvice. to the citizens of Cartersville
.tcinlty. 3eis prepared to do work UZTnTT
cn e latest ai A most Improved style.
T 'h extracted without pain, |by means of narcotic
Wrrk a’! warranted. Office over Stokeley's
fctt .CARTIRSVILLE Ga. Feb. 20 1863.—worn
JERE A. HOWARD,
attorney and counsellor at law,
CARTERSVILLE, GA.
JOHN J. JONES,
attorney at Law,
Cartersville, Ga.,
yr\ r II,L attend promptly to all business en
trusted to his care. Will practice in the
I’ou t-. of Law, and Equity in the Cherokee
4’ir, It. Special attention given to the collec
ti >n of claims. Jan. 1, 1866. lv
JOHN J. JONES,
RE4L ESTATE AGENT,
CARTERSVILLE, GA.
Ia authorised to sell, and have on hand several
Hon*, rind Lots, and also numerous building lots In the
town ; Cartersville. Also several plantations of vari
ous il s a Bartow county. Parties desiring to buy or
.ell wi 1 ,o well to g. ve me a call. All communications
prom; !y answered. July 17.1866.
BLANCE & DODD,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
v’KDARTOWN, POLK COUNTY, GA.
Will practice law in the several
Cos ;rtß comprising the Tallapoosa Circuit;
als, , Bartow and Floyd Counties. Partic
uia' attention given to the collection of
claims. jan 12,iy
WARREN AKIN,
Attorney at &aw,
CARTIRSVILLE, GEORGIA
Will practice in all the Courts of the State.
jpy W . R. JIOI XTC 4STEE,
puj Jeweller and Watch and
v*y Clock Repairer,
the Front of A. A. Skinner Ac Co’s store
Car! rsville, Jan. 25
JAIICS SMt««U
Attorney a
AND NOTARY PUBLIC.
CARTERSVILLE, GEORGIA.
tiriLl. practice In the Courts of the Cherokee and ad
” joini s Circuits, also the Supreme and District
Idurts. Pi ompt attention given to business entrusted
to.isyca e. August 21 8816.—wly
J. 0. C. Blackburn,
ATTORNEY AT LAW
EUHA LEE, BARTOW COUNTY. GEORGIA-
Refer: ices’: Industry, promptitnde and at
tention march 22. w’y
T W M lner t 0 11 Milner.
MILNER & MILNER,
Attorneys at Law,
r ARTERSVILLE GEORGIA.
Will a"rnd promptly to business! entrusted
to their c ire. jan. 16. ly
A CALEB TOMPKINS, well
jJsktM known for 20 ytars past, as a first
‘-'aw »fVf TCfJT, ( IOC*,
Mljgf a tld JE WELI.ER REPAIRER,
aid MANUFACTURER, has com
menced w ark one door North of his former old
stand, on ,fce East side of the Railroad, Car
* jcrsvxlle. Ga. Will sell Clocks and VVatchea
Warranted Nov, 10. wly
S, H, PATILLO,
FASHIONABLE TAILOR,
Will atten 1 promptly to the Cutting, Repair
lng and M iking Boys' and Men's Clot Whig. Til
O Hce on the Second Fir or of Stokely & Wil- VFf
Hams’ New Brick Building. Entrance from ■-*'*-
\{atn Street In re arc ft h e building. Feb IT.
JNO. COXE. J * H - WIKLE.
0< xe Wikle,
Commercial Agents,
NOTARIES PUBLIC
AND
ATTO INEYS AT LAW,
W ith Gen. W. T. Wofford,
< A RTF.RSVILLE, GA.
Will attend promptly to the Collection of all
Commercia Paper, Demands between Foreign
and North Georgia Merchants, and also to
noting Frot sts of Commercial Paper for non
payment, et ~ etc., etc.
Refer by Permission, to den W 7’ Wofford,
Hon Warren Akin, W H Gilbert 4 Cos, N Gil
rea'h 4 Sot , Hon J R Parrott, Howard 4r
Peacock, Ca tersville, Ga. feb 21 wly
S- C rSHIBLDS,
Fashionable Tailor ,
CARTERSVIUE, BARTOW COUNTY. GEORGIA.
Having j -<t received Charts of the latest
styles of G< i.tlemens’ and Boys’ Clothing,
European an 1 American, announces that he
IS prepared to execute all kinds
of woj : in the Fashionable Tail
.n-K. oring ine. with neatness and in II 1m
durable style Over J. Elsas &, Co’s store,
Cartersvill mch-gg
THE CARTERSVILLE EXPRESS.
VOL. 8.
Ksnnesaw House.
(Located at railroad depot.)
THE undersigned hiving hongbt the entire
interest of Dix Ftetcher, TrUstte for Lou
isa W. Fletcher, in the Kcnnesaw House,
and the business will he conducted, in the fu
ture, under ih.> name and firm of Augustine
A. Fletcher A- Freyer, Thankful fur past fa
vors and patronage, they will strive to give the
utmost satisfaction to all patrons of the Ken
nesaw House. AUGUSTINE A. FLETCHER.
„ „ F. L, FREYER.
MARIETTA. Jan. 12, ’69.
K. T. While, J. M. L.vkcs.
Amerioan Hotel,
ALABAMA bTRFKT,
ATLANTA. GEORGIA.
W H I T E & L Y K E S .
Proprietors.
Baggage carried to and from Depot
free of Charge. May 11. ) 18(10
E.R. SASSEEN, R. D. MANN,
Georgia. Tennessee.
THE 01.1) TI.NN. and GEORGIA
®IS o $ « &»
ATLANTA, GEORGIA,
SASSEEN & M ANN, Proprietors.
J. W F. BRYSON, | a k
ISAAC N. MANN, )
January 1, 1869.
JOHN T. OWEN,
Watch and Clock Repairer,
and Jeweler,
CARTERSVILLE, GA. *
fVT ILL keep constant- sgb pt
YV ly on hand, for sale l if Ak
a well selected stock of jfSVkl MjO
WATCHES. CLOCKS.
Gold, Silver and Steel ygF'' J s*
SPECTACLES.
cj-c., kc. Can furnish any kind of Silver
Plate, extra fine Gold Watches or Jewelry,
at short notice, as cheap as they can be
bought in any other market. Goods cheap.
Work warranted. Terms cash,
aug 12, 1869.w1y
Kb 8. DOTAL, if.
GRADUATE of tbc JEFFERSON MEDICAL
COLLEGE, Philadelphia, offers his profes
sional services to the citizens of Cartersville
and surrounding districts. His diploma,
various appointment, in the medical Staff of
U. S. A., Texas Cavalry, &c„ as well as ev
idence of his having been a regular prac
titioner in the South, for many years, with
testimonials of his private character, will be
exhibited at any time, at his office, in back
room of Wm. Davis’ store, one door Soutli
of the Post office, Residence East side of the
Railroad, near Mrs, Sewell s.
Cartersville, Ga., August 2nd, 2869, wly
Medical notice*
DR. I>. f>. C. BEER F* offers his
professional services to the citizens of
Cartersville and surrounding country, in
Medicine. Surgery, and Obstetrics. After
an active practice of 14 years in Savannah
and Augusta, he feels confident he can please.
Office in store recently occupied by T. H.
Kennedy & Cos. Residence at the old Ho
tel Building. aug 10, ’69. wly
TAKE NOTICE.
PETER MARSH IS AGENT OF BAR
TOW COUNTY, FOR
BAhl/B FAT MET
WASH IMG MACHINE.
It washes by Rotation, of current wick
saves labor, fuel and fabric, aiH! consequent
ly time and money. The process being so
simple, that a mere child can almost do the
family washing. No frazeling or loss of
Buttons occasioned by washing with this
Machine. 30 minutes Boiling is sufficient
time to accomplish all that is desirable.—
Call at the Lamp and Oil Emporium where
you can see for yourself. Price $1 50,
P. MARSII, Ag t.
HOUSES TD RENT OR SELL IN
OARTERSVILLE.
THE UNDERSIGNED desires to rent or
sell the Cartersville Hotel property,
on Market street, and the Whitmon property
on the Corner of Gilmer and Church streets.
These pleasant houses can be had on reason
able terms. J. R PARROTT.
July 22, 1869-wlm.
__________ $ $ $$ $ $ j
„
* *fa I r § |
JACOB ELSAS & C 0
•J
DEALERS IN s h v j
of i
of!
DRY-GOODS, CLOTHING
ybo
or J
'2®
BOOTS AND SHOES, pain,
>T c<
die 1
HATS-NOTIONS, ft;; 1 ?
P. w
SOLE AGENTS FOR THE Fill*
Nashville
Paper
Mills.
OWictall jStmt,
Fourth Door ftom the Corner of Alabama
I ATLANTA, GA.
JACOB ELSAS
MORRIS ADLER.
JULIUS DREYFOOS, may 11, 69,wtl
CARTERSVILLE, BARTOW COUNTY. GA.. AUGUST 2S. IS ®.
DR. JOHN BOLL'S
&reat Remedies
SMITH'S m STROP!
FOR THE CURE OF
AGUE AND FEVER
OU
CHILLS AND FEVER,
The proprietor of tft's celebrat and medicine justly
claims for it a superiority over all remedies ever offer
ed to the public for the mt/e, certain xpttdy and per
manent cure of Ague arid Fever .or Chill* and Fever
whether of ghort or long standing. He refer* to the
entire Western and Southwestern country to bear him
testimony to the truth of the assertion, that In no case
whatever will D fall to cure, If the directions are strict
ly followed and ca ried out. In a great many cases a
single dose has been sufficient for a cure, and whole
families have been cured by a single bottle, with a per
fect restoration of the general health. It is, however,
prudent, and in every case more certain to cure, If its
use is continued in smaller doses for s week of two af
ter the disease has been checked, more especially In
difficult and long s'and ; ng cases. Usually, this tnedi
cine will not require any aid to keep the bowels in
good order; should the patient, however, require a
cathartic medicine, after having t 'ken three or four
loses of the Tonic, a single dose of BULL‘D VE IETA
BLK FAM’I.Y PIuLS will be sufficient.
DR, JOHN BULL’S
Principal Office
No. 40 Fifth. Cross street,
Louisville, Kv.
Bull’s Worm Destroyer.
To iny United States and World-wide Read
era :
I HAVE received many testimorlals from profes
a onal and medical men, as my almanacs and vari
ous publications have shown, nil of which are genuine.
The following from a highly educated and popular
phpsician in Georgia, !e certainly one of the most sen
sible communicatiuhf I have ever received. Dr. Clem
ent knows exactly what he speaks of, and his testimo
ny deserves to be written In letters of gold. Hear
what the Doctor says of Bull'* Worm Destroyer
Villanow, Walker co., Ga, >
June 29th, 1866 ij
DR. JOHN BULL—Dear Sir:—l have recently giv
en your “Worm Destroyer” several trials, and find it
wonderfully efficacious. It hits not failed in a single
instance, to have the wished-for effect. lam doing a
pretty large country practice, aud have dally use for
some article of the kind. lam free to confess that I
know of no remedy recommended by the ablest authors
that is so certain and speedy in Its effects. On the con
trary they are uncertain iu the extreme. My object
in writing you Is to find out upon what terms l can
get the medicine directly from you. If 1 can get it
upon easy terms, I shall use a great deal of it. 1 ari
aware that the use of such articles is contrary to the
teachings ami practice of a great majority of the reg
ular l iie of M. D.'s, but I see do just cause or good
sense in discarding a remedy which we know to be ef
ficient. simp'y because we may be ignorant of its com
bination. For my part, I shall make It a rule to use all
and any means to alleviate suffering hum mity which
I may be able to command—not hesitating because
someone more Ingenious than myself may have Jearn
d its effects first., and secured the sole right to secure
hat knowledge. How ever, lam by r.o mi ana an ad
vocate or supporter of the thousands of worthies* nos
trums that flood the country, that purport to cure all
manner of disease to which hum in flesh is heir.—
Please reply soon, and inform me of your best terms.
I am,sir, most respectfully.
JULIUS P. CLEMENT, M. T>.
Bull’s Sarsaparilla.
A GOOD REASON F"R THE CAPTAIN'S FAITH,
READ THE CAPTAIN'S LETTER AND THE LET
TER FROM niS MOTHER.
Benton Barracks, Mo., April 30, IS6G.
Dr. John Bull—Dear Sir: Knowing the efficiency
of your Sarsaparilla, and the healing and beneficial
qualities it possesses, I send you the following state
ment of my case:
I was wounded about two years ago—was taken
prisoner and confined for sixteen months. Being
moved so often, my wounds have not healed yet. I
have not sat up a moment since 1 was wounded. I
am shot through the hips. My general health is im
paired, and I need something to assist nature. I
have more faith in your Sarsaparilla than in any thing
else. I wish that that is genuine. Please express me
half a dozen bottles, and oblige
Capt, C, P. JOHNSON.
St. Louis, Mo.
P. S.—The following was written April 39,1565, by
Mrs. Jennie Johnson, mother of Capt Johnson.
DR. BULL—Dear Sir: My husband, Dr. 0. 8. John
son, was a skillful surgeon and physician in'Centrsl
New York, where he died, leaving the above C. P.
Johnson to my care. At thirteen year, of age he had
•a chronic diarrhoea and scrofula, for which I gave
him your Sarsaparilla. IT CURED HIM. I have for
ten years recommended it to many in New York, Ohio,
and lowa, for scrofula, fever sores, and general debili
ty. Perfect success has attended it. 77i« cures effect
ed in some cases of scrofula and fever sores ~were
almost miraculous. lam very anxious for my son to
again have recourse to your Sarsaparilla. He Is fear
ful of getting a spurious article, heDce his writing to
you for it. His wounds were terrible, but I believe he
will recover. Respectfully, JENNIE JOHNSON.
ALL GOLD GOODS,
iie
tie
y.
l l 610. SHARP,
0.
!j
ie
of
3 r
Q
Live Jewelry Stor
*
Stony Point. White Cos., Ark., May 28, '6S.
Dr JOHN BULL— Dear Sir: Last February 1 was
In Louisville purchasing Drugs, and I got some of
your Sarsapparilla and Cedron Bitters. ...
y Hr son-in-law, who was with me in the store, has
been down with rheumatism for some time, commen
ced on the Bitters, and soon found his general health
Dr. Gist, who has been in bad health, tried them,
an Dr^OoffeVwho°hM d ’ been In bad health for several
year. —stomach and liver affected-h« Improved very
much by the use of your Bitters. Indeed the Cedron
Bitters has ctven you great Popularity Ini this settle
ment. I think I could sell a great quantity of your
medicines this fall-eapedally of your Cedron Bitter,
and Sarsaparilla. Ship me via Memphis, care of
Rlckctt A N„ly. WALKER
All the above remedies for sale by
L. H. BRADfIELD,
Druggist,
WAITEHALL STREET,
ATLANTA, GA.
feb 20, 1869irly
I W. SHC. JACKSON SCO
CONTRACTORS FOR BUILDING ,
AND PROPRIETORS OF THE
CARTERSVILLE STEAM PLANING
MILL,
Sasli, IXlincl and
Door Factory.
CARTERSYILLE, GA..
All kinds of lumber planed.
mid Flooring and Ceiling Tongued and
Grooved. Brackets, and all kinds of Scroll
Sawing, for Ornamental 'York, done to or
der. Shop Work, of all kinds, executed
with neatness and dispatch.
Contracts made for LARGE JOBS.“Y©B
Otir machinery is all new and of the very
BERT QUALITY, having been selected by
one of the firm, (an experienced mechanic,)
in person.
The proprietors are all experienced/tnd
skillful workmen, among whom may beUbund
Mr. W. A. who
and acknowle Igcd, by all, to be one among
the best and finest workmen in tlfe South.
Our Mill is now in successful operation,
and its work is approved and admired by all
who have seen it. It is located immediately
on the Western k Atlantic Railroad, North
of the Depot, in the rear of the new Court-
House. Z. IV. &M. C. JACKSON & CO.,
aug 10, 1869.tf Cartersville, Ga.
Sheriff Sales (or September.
ON tlie first Tuesday in Sept. next, before
the Courthouse door in Cartersville,
Bartow county, Ga., within the legal hours
of sale, will be sold, the following property,
to-wit:
One town lot in the town of Cartersville,
known as lot No. 2, adjoining the house now
occupied as a courthouse, fronting 40 feet on
the public square, and extending back to
Gilmer street : levied on as the property of
Caleb Tompkins to satisfy a tax fi fa issued
by the tax collector of Bartow county in fa
vor of the State vs said Tompkins. Levied
on and returned to me by a constable.
Also, one hundred and sixty acres of land,
more or less, known as the. Belhvood Iron
Works, in the 4th District and 3rd Section
of Bartow county ; levied on as the property
of J. L. Rogers, President of the Belhvood
Iron Works Company, to satisfy a tax fi fa
issued by thetux collector of Bartow county,
in favor of tl. -State ve said Rogers,
dent as aforesaid. Levied on and returned
to me by a consatble.
Also, The plantation whereon Mark A.
Hardin now resides, in the 17th District and
3rd Section of Bartow county, containing
1,000 acres, more or less; levied on to satis
fy a fi fa issued from Bartow Superior Court
in favor of \Vm. Milner, Guardian for W. A.
Milner vs A. B. Harris, B. F. Williams, and
M. A. Hardin, principals, and Wm. Davis,
endorser. Property pointed out by plain
tiff’s attorney; levied on as the property of
M. A. Hardin.
Also, The house and lot on which John F.
Scott now resides, in the town of Carters
ville ; levied on as the property of said Scott,
to satisfy a fi fa issued from the Justice
Court of the 822d District, G. M., in favor of
Jackson & Kirksey vs said Scott; levied on
and returned to me by a constable.
Also, one house and lot in Cartersville,
whereon A, F. Morrison now resides; levied
on as the property of said Morrison by vir
tue of a tax fi fa issued by the tax collector
of Bartow county, in favor of the State vs
said Morrison. Levied on and returned to
me by a constable.
Also, one lot of land containing one-fourth
of an acre, more or less, at the old Etowah
Iron Works, formerly owned by W. M. Sat
terfield; levid on as the property of Benja
min Smith, to satisfy a tax fi fa issued by
the tax collector of Bartow eounty, in favor
of the State vs said Smith. Levied on and
returned to me by a constable,
POSTPONED SALES FOII SEPTEMBER,
Also, at the same time and place, will be,
sold the following property, postponed from
the August sales, to-wit :
Also, lots of land Nos. 1258, 1259, and
1260, in the 4th Dis. and 3d Sec., and Nos.
1225 and 1290 in the 21st Dis. and 2d Sec.,
containing each 40 acres, more or less, as
the property of J. G Entrickin, by virtue of
7 attachment fi fas from the 822 Dis. G. M.,
in favor of H. C. Dyer, vs Deft, levied upon
and returned to me by a constable.
Also, lot of land No. 484, in the 4th dis
trict and 3rd section of Bartow county, with
improvements thereon ; levied on as the pro
perty of G. J. Salter, to satisfy an attachment
fi fa issued from Bartow Superior Court, in
favor of James Milner vs. said Salter.
ALSO, a house and lot in the town of
Cartersville, formerly owned and occupied
by the defendant, John H. Ruckman, levied
on as the property of said Ruckman to satis
fy a fi fa issued from the Justice Court of
the 822nd district, G. m. of Ba-tow County,
on the foreclosure of a lien for brick work
on said premises, in favor of Wallis, Eaves
& Cos.
W. W. RICH, Sh’ff.
Aug. 4, ’69. M. COLLINS. D. Sliff.
CARTERSVILLE PROPERTY FOR
SALE.
One Lot on Douglas st., adjoining W, C
Green’s 54 by 21 feet.
One lot, on same Street, opposite Thomas
Powell’s 54 by 116 feet.
One lot cn Gilmer, adjoining Whiteman
lot 86 by 120 feet.
Four lots, on same street, near Courthouse
50 by 150 feet,
One lot, on same street, adjoining Daniel
King. 90 by 224 feet,
Four lots, on Carter street, near Plaining
Mill 50 by 200 feet.
Four lots, on Railroad street, in rear of
Courthouse 50 by 150 feet.
One lot, on Main street, adjoining Ware
house 47 by 86 feet.
One lot, on Erwin street V.W. R. R. office
30 by 80 feet.
Five lots adjoining V W T R R office, on same
street, 25 by 80 feet.
One lot on market street, opposite Mrs.
Milner’s, 124 by 124.
One lot on Erwin street, adjoining Express
office! with good dwelling, 40 by 100 feet.
Two lots on Public Square* West of Depot,
with good store rooms, each, 20 by 100 feet-
One lot on Gilmer street. With neat dwell
ing and well enclosed t (the Wilkison lot) con
taining half acre, and in a beautiful location.
These places are well located, near the
business part of town. Terms of sale ar
ranged to accommodate purchasers.
J. R. PARROTT
Qarterevillc, Aug. 4th. lm
JI’ST LOU FI X.
‘W Imn I wnsquite a boy,’ snYsSmith
.j ‘my fa 1 her ordered a coat for me from
an old Lsrtu hte, nml when the garment
0,1 me home it v.r.s very much too large
The perplexed Jew, after vainly trying
, to gather up the ft loose in the back
with Ins hand, so <hat the front might
set tight, declared at length that the
‘coat WRs goot; it was no fm!t of tc
eoat; te eo it. fit goot nongh, bat to poy
was too slim!’
A short man became attached to a
tall woman and somebody said he had
fallen in love with her. Do you call it
■ falling in love?' said the suitor; ‘ith j
more lixe climbirg up to it.’
r The latest undergraduate joke at
Tide Cl l’.ege was the transfer, by mid
n gl t of a Wor st’s sign—“New Heaven
Nursery” to a conspicuous position on
a young ladies’ seminary.
My dear, do you know that your
imsbaud told me last night that my
cheeks were like roses ? Yes. love, I
know he did. He spoke of it after
ward, and said it was a pity they were j
yellow roses.
Why is an errand-boy like an old
horse put up at auction? Because
he’ll go for what lie’ll fetch.
If brooks are, as poets call them, the
most joyous things iu nature, what are
they ‘murmuring’ about.
If 3011 were to have a horse shod
which had you rather pay five dollars
for the job, or give one j>enny for the
first nail, two for the next, and so on,
doubling the amount each nail, allow
ing thirty-two nails for the four feet?
Try it .and see.
‘0 ! where do vort get that rid for
your cheeks ?’ said a pale, wan young
lady, to a bright laughing minx.—
‘Where the roses get theirt—in the air
aud sunlight.,’was the quick rep 3’.
A tx>3’ remarked to his mother, the
other diiY - , that he never knew before
that Mr.- * (who keeps a liquor sa
loon), was a milliner.
‘Well, he isn’t,’ said the mother.
‘Yes, he is,’ said the boy, ‘for father
went iu there last night to get a night
cap !’
A shrewd but vmenlightend school
director out West used to say, on ex
amining a condidate for the post of
teacher, ‘We all know that a, b, c, is
vowels, but we want to know why they
is vowels.
Mr. Glnmm confesses to have got
stuck once in his life. The other night
in the dark he mistook his mucilage
bottle for the hair-oil. His hair has
since presented the appearance of
whalebone —very much like bis wife’s
corsets.
The question, ‘Which wants most,
man or woman ?’ was recently discuss
ed in an up-town tyceum association.
Nothing definite was settled, except
that some of the debaters wanted
brains. A not unfrequent infirmity of
both sexes-
The attempt to wash flannel with
soapstone lias failed. The gentleman
who started the idta is now teaching
the weather-cocks to crow. The pub
lic will watch his progress with some
interest.
Conundrum.— ‘Sain, why is your head
like the moon ?
‘I don’t know, Jim. Give it up.’ 1
‘Because, Sam, it is supposed by
some to be inhabited.’
A city urchin hearing his father read
an article in the paper in relation to a
new invention of bricks of glass ex
claimed,
‘Glass bricks—l know what them is.’
‘What are they?’ inquired one of the
family.
‘Tumblers of liquor,’ shouted the ju
venile.
Marrying a woman for her beauty
is like eating a bird for its sweet sing
ing.
A backward spring is produced by
presenting a red hot poker .at a man’s
nose.
Many young men are so indifferent
that they cannot keep anything but
late hours.
Why is a proclamation like eipht
drachms. Ans. —Because it an-oun
ces.
A writer describing one of the en
gagements in the late wair gives the
fol lowing interesting item: “In the bat
tle we lost the brave Captain Smith.—
A cannon ball took off his head. His
last words were, ‘Bury me on the spot
where I fall.’ ”
An illiterate correspondent who is j
given to sporting, wants to know when i
the Anglo Saxon race, eo much talked j
of is coming off.
A traveler in Pennsylvania asked the
landlord if they had any cases of sun
stroke in that town. ‘No, sir,’ said the
landlord; ‘if a man gets drunk here,
we say lie is drunk and never call it by
any other name.’
An old country game keeper and his
wife once consulted the doctor of the
parish as to the choice of a ‘biblename
for their son and heir. The doctor
suggested ‘Nimrod’ and that sugges
tion was acted upon, Sometime after
ward another son was born. This
time the parents chose for themselves,
and as a match to ‘Nimrod,’ actually
selected ‘Ramrod!’
A dandy, at a hotel table, who wan
ted the milk passed to him, thus asked
for it: t
‘Please send your cow this way.’
To whom the landlady replied as
follows:
‘Waiter, take the cow down to where
the calf is bleating.’
Railroad Work. —Track laying has
commenced on the Griffin end of the
Savannah, Griffin & North Alabama
Railroad,
An Irishman was employed - to turn
some fruit trees. He w< nt in the morn
ing, nnd on returning rr 10 n was ask
ed if he had comp leted his wo k. ‘No.
was the reply: ‘but I hue cit t’um
all do An, and am going to trim them
in the afternoon.’
The pleasantest hu bnndrv is tin
destroying of wet d.s—widow’s weeds.
A h’gh officer of the Sons of Temper
ance. presenting himself with thermel
of grog he had been dri; king upon
him, at the door of a “Division” for
admission, was waited iq on by an
Irish sentinel, to whom he gave the
1 password when the following passed:
‘ Sir,” said he, “an ycr are Mistei
O’Wlight, the Grand Worthy Patri
arch of the State of Khaiutucky, I do
be afther belavin.”
“Yes,” said Jim, “you are perfectly
right m3’ friend; but wny do you ask
the question V”
“To tell yez the truth, then, sir. and
shame the devil,” said Pat, “3’ezdo be
bavin the right password for a Son of
Temperance, entirely; but by the Holy
Virgin and tlio blessed Saint Pather
ick, yez got the wrong smell.”
School Examination. —“John, how
do you parse grandmother V” “I does- j
n’t pass her at all, but always goes in ;
to get a tart.’ ‘What is the singular
of man ?’ ‘They is singular when they
pay their debts without being asked
to do it a dozen times.’ ‘Y >uug wom
en are beautiful. ‘What is it that
comes l.f er yc-ung women ?’ ‘lt’s t lie
fellers to be sure—limy are always af
ter the young women.’ ‘That will do;
now you are dismissed.’
A shabb3’-genteel young man enter
ed a tradesman’s store the other day
w ith his hands crammed in both pock
ets, as if they were flush w ith rhino. —
‘.Mr. J.,’ said he, ‘I believe I am indebl
e 1 to you sixt3 r two and a half cents,
cash, borrowed somewhat about a 3 e r
ago.’ ‘Yes, sir,’replied the trade man,
smacking his lips and holding out his
hands to receive the read3' cash. T
am glad you have come, for I had al
most forgotten it myself.’ ‘O ! 11 ever
forget these things,’said the fellow; I
like to have all things square; so I
want you to lend me thirty-seven and
a half cents more, which w ill make it
eveu money.
The art uv becoming uv importance
in the eyes uv others, iz not tew over
rate onrselfs, but tew ciuse them tew
do it.
Flattery is like kolone water—to be
smelt uv, not swallowed.
Living on hope izlike living on wind
—a good way tew git phul, but a poor
w r a) r tew git phat.
Man3 r people spend the heft uv then
time trying to find the hole where sin
got into this wo v lth If two men break
through the ice into a mill-pt ml, they
had better hunt for some hole tew git
out, rather than git into a long argu
ment about the hole they cum tew fall
in.
In the Common Council of Janes
ville the question of ordinances relat
ing to dogs was under discussion, when
the records were referred to, and one
was found tc rend:
All dogs to be muzzled or shod, ex
crjjf dog*from the country, coming in on
bmine**.
A young mamma on the important
occasion of making her son his first
pair of breeches, conceived the idea
that it would be more economical to
make them of the same din elisions
behind and before, so that they might
be changed about and wear evenly.—
Their effect when donned by the'little
fellow were ridiculous. Papa, at first
sight of the b»ggy garment burst into
a roar of laughter and exclaimed, ‘Oh,
my dear, how could you have had the
heart to do it? Why Hie poor little
fellow won’t know whether he’s going
to school or coming home!’
‘Mv dear,’ said an affectionate spouse
to her husband, ‘am I not your only
treasure ?’ ‘Yes,’ was tlie ccol reply,
‘ard I would willingly lay it up in
heaven.’
The word ‘devil’ presents a curious
philological study.
1. Devil is bad enough; cut off D:
2. Evil. Cut oft E:
3. Vil (e). Cut off V:
4. 11(1). Cut off I:
5. L!
An old lady living near the quarry
in Lee, Mass., picked up nil egg the
other day on the ground frequented
by ducks, took it home and boiled it
for her son’s dinner. After boiling it
five minutes she thought that it was
not done, and returned it to the pot
for fifteen minutes, and then declaring
it needed a ‘devil of a bilin,’ boiled it
thirty minutes more; then losing her
patience, dashed it to the floor, when
she discovered that it was a China nest
egg-'
Quite a joke happened to one of the
doctors the other day. He ordered
some very powerful medicine for a sick
boy, and* the father, not liking the ap
pearance of it, forced it down the cat b
throat, and when the doctor called
again and inquired if the powder had
cured the boy, the father replied,
‘No, we did not give it to him.
‘Good heavens!’ said the doctor, is
the child living?’ . .
‘Yes, but the old cat isnt; we gave
it to her!’
1 he doctor sloped.
A countryman came to one of our
hotels, and wrote after his name; ‘P.
O p s. F. C.‘ Here was a title which
none but himself Understood.
‘Pray, my dear sir,’ asked the bar
keeper, ‘what do all these letters stand
*° r ‘Standfor! why, that's my title.’
‘Yes, sir— -but what is your title ?’
<Why, Professor of Psalmody and
School-master from Connecticut.’
NO. I).
It is not an mico-mnoM oon>pl;*.iu<
against a newspiqu r that it ‘hns'i.t life
enough ’ But a bro!h< r (alitor roj>ort."
this odd objection made to his pape)
hy a gos-ip-lo\iitg old lady: ‘I libt
your paper very much: I have only
one objection to it—it hasn't dentin
enough.
Little four-year-old Masie had
been vainly endeavoring o pucker hi. 1
mouth into simp* for the wins: ling oJ
a national tunc he had heard upon the
street. At last., in despairs, he went
to his mother, e\>. 1 timing: M■, Is so |
little. I can’t make a hole big enough
for Yankee Dooluiu to dit out!
Someone eng gvj upon statistics
averts single women live heucl
aehe more than married ones.
If bedbugs have any destiny to till it
must be their stunu.el.s.
—One flea will go uul over a man’s
: subi rbs in less th.ui two minits, and
leave him as pikied as the mj.isela
—The jelous man is always hunting
for something he don’t exoett tu find,
and arter he uas foun t 1 , he is mud
b. cause he has. He is alwuy happy
jist in purportiou az he is mizeruble.
Bearer man lde—i.i .nioimolo funer
als.
An object of interest—seven-thirties
The winds niticliaats pray for—the
trade winds.
What goes most against a farmer’s
grain— his mown g machine.
—A gentleman iooxing at hi 4 watch
after mid-night cried, “r’cs 1 1- morrow
morning! 1 must bid you good night.
KISSIN >.
Mon scorn to kiss amo >g themselves,
Aud scarce would kiss a brother;
But women want to k;ss so bad,
They kiss a id kiss each other.
a woman says:
M< n do not kiss among t lem.selves,
I ts well that they retrain;
Tue bitter dose would vex them so
They never would kiss again.
‘ My dear,” said a rural wife to her
husband on his re. urn from town, ‘what
was the sweeti st king you saw in bon
nets in the city ?” “ 1 tie ladies’ faces,
my love.”
Two Irishmen, stopping at the Island
House, Toledo, lit tlieir gas, and wi ll
windows open, sat down to enjoy a
chat. The hungriest of Toledo mus
quitocs soon flocked in and drove them
desperate. The eleik, who summoned
to devise some defense against them,
told them to close the windows, and
put out the gas. They acted on the
suggestion, and placed themselves be
tween Just as they began
to dose, a lightning bug, which had
strayed into the room, caught the eye
of one of the travelers. He roused his
companion with a punch. “ Pat, Pat,
it’s no use! Here’s one of the critters
huntin’ for us with a lamp !”
Ciieerft lness. —God bless the cheer
ful person; man, or woman, old or not
old, illiterate or educated, handsome or
homely. Over and above every other
trait stands cheerfulness. What the
sun is to nature —what G >d is to the
stricken heart which knows how to
lean upon Him, are cheerful persons in
tbs house and by the wayside. They
go unobtrusively, and unconsciously
about tbeir silent mission, brightning
up society 1 round them with cheerful
ness beaming from their faces. We
like to sit near them, and we like the
glance of their eye, and the tone of
their voice. Little children find them
out so quickly, in the densest crowd,
passing by the knotted brow and com
pressed lip, glide near, and laying a
confiding little band on their knee, lift
their clear young eyes so loving to their
faces.
A New York newspaper records the
suicide of a man by shooting himself
with his big toe. "Well next hear of
somebody having his throat cut with
his left hind foot.
—An old woman was asked what
she thought of her neighbors of the
name of Jones, and with a knowing
wink said:
“W« 11,1 don’t like to say anything
about my neighbors; but as for Mr.
■Tones, sometimes 1 think, then again I
don’t know; after all, I rather guess
he’ll turn out to be a good deal such a
fellow as I took him to be.”
"Used up when it rains—an umbrella
Light literature—the books of a gas
company.
A peaceful disposition is not absolute
protection against the turmoils of life.
"What's more peaceful than a clam ?
And yet, it is most sure to end its life
in a broil. And then how peacable an
oyster is, and yet how frequently it is
mixed up in a stew.
A grapevine is afloat on the streets
that the radical leaders at Athens are
about initiating measures to set aside
the decision of the Supreme Court on
the late franchise law.
—“A prudent man,” says a French
gentleman, “is like a pin. His head
prevents him going to far.”
The ladies should set good examples
for the young men are always follow
ing them.
A Great Discokry*— Galileo invent
ed the telescope; Columbus discovered
anew world, and to Professor Morse is
due the credit of teaching the lightning
how to talk, but it was reserved to Dr.
J. Bradfield to penetrate the mystic
depths of science, and drag from it the
wonder of the 19th century. The vic
tory has been won, and woman is free.
The sale of Dr. Bradfield’s Female
Regulator is ttttprecedt nted in the his
tory of popular remedies, and many
thousands of certificates are coming m
from grateful women, throughout the
United States, certifying to its powers
and applauding its unit Id benefits to
their sex.
she tU. • iiUi of the Marietta, (Ohio)
railroad i? eut mid* rn well of overilf.fc
j Water. On- w’l in jiint hr good ua e . er,
j'n* 1 drop haka Lun>ngh, pHhnn**h
crowded train.-. pa*> directly unut it.
- nrried the city of Ndsviie
by 13 votes.
Pei EBwxd* Ladies’ N ttion.-u Maga
; z:ne, Charles J. Peterson, Philadelphia,
Teams, $2,00 yur y«ui. Tluh mag;.. .uo
is always a welcome visitor to our desk.
The publisher displays a commt ndable
zeal .u his dLrts to keep it up to the
highest standard, and manifests excel
lent taste luits preparation. The Au
gust number has a beau.iful engraving
which lies become kuowu by the title
of ‘Overtasked,’ but which is here call
ed “The Hard Lesson.” Numerous
colored and plain fashion plates, a
piece of music, entitled “ The Lehigh
Polka,” by D. A. Druschcr, and the us
ual amount of el oicu reading, make up
the excellent number.
The ••Zantlppee.”
BY JOSH BILLINGS.
The Zantippoe iz an organizashuu
! ov fearless ana stroug-miiuieU wunuieu
m New York city, the pur j Rises and
intent ov which are cleany set forth iu
the following by-laws anu resuiutioiio,
fsuud lately at a puwubroker s sliop *ll
the pocket ov a pair of cassnnere le
mail unspeukables:
Artikles Ist. The Confederacy shal
be called ttie Zautippee, and shall bo
perpetual aud everlasting.
It shall be composed entirely ov fe
males; nothing ov the male natur shall
be allowed within ten miles . v it.
3. Every inemoer ov this club shall
huv an olliss, provided they are sound
on the goose and down on the gander.
4. No married woman shall be ad
mitted tew this club, who duz uot wear
a full suit of cassimere at home.
5. This association is self-lifting,
and don’t ask any olds ov the mam
kritters.
6. Resolved, that we will vote or
smash all the ballot boxes ov creaslmn.
7. No woman shall be deemed illigi
bletew olliss who is afruiloov any mau
living.
8. Young girls between the ages ov
25 and 30 a. e received on trial.
9. Tiie objeckt ov this eoufedercy iz
tew dew awup with the necessity of
mankind aud exalt woman tew her irea
spber, and enable her tew run the con
cern hereafter in good shape.
10. Good moral karakter requisite
for admisshun tew this club, but tew
mutch beauty shall be deemed a lectio
risky, and shall be watched by a com
mittee ov live grown females from a
moug the elders with power tow report
from time tew time whether the now
member iz sound on the voting ques
tion, and the right tew set unto jurys.
11. Resolved, that we won’t pay any
enny more taxes, nor get enny more
breakfast (be darned if we do) if wo
kant hav sum femail suffrage.
12. Resolved, if we don’t look out the
niggers will get tew voting before we
do.
13. No member of this eoufedercy
shall be liable tew arrest for slander,
or pulling hair, or enny thing against
the so-called stattues ov the country,
while they are iu session.
24. Enny male being caught within
the sakret recincts ov Zantippee, on
any pretence whatever, shall be be
headed with a ruffled nightcap and
drummed out ov the camp. Provided,
nothing in this artikle shall be so con
structed az to interfere with a married
man’s bringing into anteroom an infant
of the femail kind, whose preservashun
depends upon the ministering comforts,
ov the mother ov the child, the mother
at the time being aktually present, at
a regular organized meeting of the
confederacy.
15. No looking glasses allowed in
the Senate Chamber of the Zantippee;
no demokratic paper ov enny kind al
lowed, and all the proceedings of the
club tew be kept as sekret as possibel,
under the circumstances ov the case.
16. In case enny ov the proceedings
ov the club are divulged UsW ail out
side femail friend, it iz strickly under
stood that said femail friend iz tu di
vulge the same only to her most inti
mate friend, and then only upon ex
press condishun that said intimate
friend iz tew do the same, under pen
alty ov the law, made and provided for
such case.
17. No femail in love will be per
mitted tew become a member of the
Confederacy, but such femails shall
have the sympathy ov the club, for
human natur we know iz tuff to fight
with.
18. No lap dorgs, nor yung ones,
nor knitting, nor house-wife talking,
nor receipts for cooking, allowed oil the
premises.
19. If enny member of the Zantippee
is sent for by her husband during the
bizziness hours, she needn’t pay enny
attenshun tew the critter, but for a
handsum speech upon the occasion,
defining witnmiifis rights, and defying
man and his coarse attributes, she shall
be rewarded with a vote of thanks, and
a copy ov the by-laws and resolutions
ov the club.
20. All singly blessed members ov
the confederacy who have stood firm
r gainst the blarney ov men tew enter
the so-called wedded state, shall inch
carrv a golden spear during session,
eroblematick of their heroism, in de
fending their charms against the high
wav robbers of wimmin’s right.
21. If enny member ov the associa
tion iz seized with a desire for matri
mony while under the fostering auspi
ces ov the association, and kant be
healed of the diseaze, we will weep over
her and attend the wedding as a trib
ute ov resjiekt for our female sister.
22. The Zantippee reserves the priv
ilege of altering enny uv the above
resolutions, bye-laws, or edikts, and
adding, from time to time others, as the
welfare uv the club may demand.
The most remarkable organ ir> the
world is the organ of speech in women.
Avery fine dressed lady stopped a
boy trudging along with a basket md
inquired, “Little boy, have you got re
ligion?*’ “No ma’am,’ said the.
‘T *’e got peaches.”
