Newspaper Page Text
THE STANDARD AND EXPRESS.
lij SMITH, WIKLE & CO.]
Written tor liio Standar 5 A Express.;
EDUCATIONAL PAPERS.
BY MISS A. C. HAFFORD.
NO. V
PROFESSION AI. ETIQUETTE.
It is agr<*<yl by common consent
that the “small, sweet courtesies of
life” should not tie neglectetl, even
amidst the active competition of
business. All professions and all
trades code* of etiquette,
and any in cm tiers who overstep these
codes attd act unfairly, Rain a most
unenviable reputation.
So strong is this community off<*el
ing and interest, that it finds a lodg
ment in the breast of the most de
graded. It is said that a gentleman
visiting a prison, asked a convict who
had belonged to an organized band of
robbers, “ Hid you ever steal from
one of your gang?”
The man replied with genuine dis
gust, “ What, steal from any of my
gang, sir! 1 was never moaneuough
for that.” This seems to verify the
oh! proverb, “ Honor among thieves.”
Said honor may he a shaky thing,
but when we ascend in the social
scale to the classes where refinement
and cultivation “walk in golden
slippers,” we expect the exhibition
of the genuine quality in all its
beauty.
Os all professional characters, it
would seem that teachers ought to
be most kindly and courteous to
wards each other. As they profess to
train children In all that is morally
noble, they ought to set an example
by striving against petty jealousies
an«l little meannesses.
Hut it must Ik* acknowledged that
too often the opposite of this prevails.
Whilst etiquette between teacher and
teacher demands a polite recognition
of professional standing, careful ab
stinence from the very appearance of
traducing the attainments and work
of one’s fellow-laborers, and a scrupu
lous regard to the maxim, “ Live and
let live,” when conflicting interests
clash; there are, unfortunately, i
teachers who so far forget what is !
due to themselves and their calling as
to strive to injure others in the same '
profession by covert insinuations and !
open sneers, and who turn land pi
rates in search of pupils.
There may he a slight tinge of pro
fessional jealousy in the intense de
light with which some criticise and
depreciate tin* work of their associ
ates. If It is good they make it out
had, if it is bad they make it out
worse.
An idle and not very bright
pupil was taken from one I
school and sent immediately to an-1
other where (only a lit punishment
for her Indolence) she was turn
ed hack in all her studies. The new
teacher also tried to make capital of
the girl’s ignorance by telling every
body that, “ Mary knew nothing lit
all, for She had been so neglected at I
her last school.” In course of time j
the report reached the ears of the j
former instructress, who remarked
with a smile, “ I was aware of the j
melancholy fact that Mary ‘knew
nothing,’ long before Miss Layton, !
but the charge of neglect -is rather
amusing. (Jive any teacher a lazv
girl, not particularly gifted with
sense, and who refuses to study des
pite all efforts and entreaties, and is
that teacher to he blamed for the
girl’s non-improvement? We teach
ers engage to cultivate all the capaci
ty that God lias given, but we do not
bargain to furnish capacity.”
No teacher, who is so disposed, can
fail to find deficiencies in the most
thoroughly-trained pupils, and it is
supremely senseless, as well as dis
honorable, in any teacher to make the
performances of an inattentive or
stupid scholar the criterion of the in
struction hi* has received. Really su
perior teachers are commonly the
most ready to accord praise and to
suspend censure, for they know from
experience that the very best of the |
profession, if judged by their pupils, ;
would often appear lamentably deli- j
dent.
Professional etiquette not only do- i
mauds that teachers should be gener- j
ous towards each other, but common !
sense whispers, “ People who live in
glass house's should not throw stones,”
while religion, in a certain old-fMll
ioned book, warns us, “ With what
measure ye mete, it shall be measured
to you again,”
Little tricks practiced in any trade
or profession stamp the character of j
the trickster and assign it a low po-!
sition. Things very small in them- ’
selves point to things very large, and j
lay open a whole history of uncertain j
social status, and of moral and educa- |
tional short-comings.
What would be thought of a physi- j
chin who, when a man had already 1
employed a practitioner in his fami
ly, and had faith in his capacity,
should persistently try to shake that
faith, saying in effect, “2 am a much
better doctor, do employ me, and
turn him off.”
Suppose a merchant should follow
you into a store where you were in
the habit of dealing and whisper,
“ Come around the corner to my store.
This man’s stock is poor, and I sell
cheaper than he does. Do’nt patron
ize him.”
Is it any more suitable for a teacher
to endeavor to destroy the confidence
of parents in another instructor, and
to go from oue patron to another urg
ing, “ Take your children from that
school, and send them to me.”
The practice of soliciting patronage,
when carried to excess, and united
with the disposition to praise self at
the expense of others, is not consist-,
ent with dignity and modesty.
Drummers, whether for commer
cial houses or for schools, are often
terribly pushing and impertinent.
We have known a few Presidents of
Colleges, who, as soon as vacation
commenced, would start on their
travels, compassing sea and land to
get scholars.
Sometimes two or three happen in
the s:>! .o place at the same time, and
then nappy is the father who can
turn the street-comers fast enough to
avoid being button-holed, and har
angued on the topic of Ids interest
and duty in “ patronizing >/*y school,
sir.”
I remember an example of the way
in which professional ettiquette is
sometimes violated, as it occurred in
a pretty little western village where
I was visiting a friend. It was about
the time when schools were being
made up for thesession, and really 1
pitied the people, because they had
more solicitations for patronage than
they had patronage to give, and, be
ing a kindly set of villagers and
wanting to please all applicants, they
had a hard time.
Persons anxious to secure scholars
for themselves, or for kinsfolk and
friends, worked like troopers. La
dies went to houses where they had
never visited before, asking for pu
pils who were in actual attendance at
various schools at the time. The
pleas of old acquaintanceship and fam
ily connection were urged unceasing
ly-
They went from house to house
taking up the cry, “ Here’s your
good teacher, send to me,” varied
sometimes by an appeal in behalf of
some relative, “ send to him or her.”
My friend Mrs. II had several
daughters whom she regarded as fix
tures at a school they had attended
for sometime, but she was often so
licited to send elsewhere on various
pleas.
Once a lady urged, “I will make
it to your interest to send to me, for
I will teach lower than others. I
want even the poorest to have an ed
ucation, and I don’t need money.”
“ How very benevolent you are,”
said Mrs. H. “ I should think you
would open a charity school at oncu,
or, I dare say, Mrs. Ardis would give
you the pleasure of teaching a few
el assess in her school for nothing.
My present teacher is a good one,
who makes her daily bread by daily
labor, and as Mr. if can afford to
pay tuition, I prefer to send to one
who needs it.”
As the door closed after the retreat
ing form, Mrs. II observed,
“What nonsense! You need not
tell me that teachers are mere intel
lectual creatures influenced only by
the high-pressure motive of duty.
They have to dress, eat, and drink,
like the rest of us,and need moneyjust
as much. It is all cant, or false pride,
that talks about teaching as if it were
not, partly, to make bread.
( an not one serve God and adorn a
profession, and yet want to live? I
have a weakness for the honest man
or woman who says, “I teach fora liv
ing, and want to be paid that I may
pay others.”
On another occasion, a gentleman
of tall form and pompous exterior,
wearing gold-rimmed spectacles, and
bearing, as the symbol of authority,
a big cane, called on Mrs. II and
introduced himself asateacher. Hav
ing blown his own trumpet long and
loud, lie begged her to send her
daughters tea school lie was aliout to
establish. “ But,” says Mrs. II ,
“ I am sending them to Mrs. Ardis,
ami I have uo reason to change.”
“Tut! tut!” cried the pedagogue,,
“ No woman can manage a school.”
I do not recollect Mrs. II ’s re
ply to this absurdity, hut as I have
heard it urged more than once since,
in other places, I will give it a pass
ing notice.
It is too late in the day for sensible
men to make such declarations.
Some of the best female schools in
our country are managed, or were
founded, by women. Even where a
man’s name appears at the head of a
Catalogue, you will generally find
that one or nToro ladies behind the
scenes control the school and give it
tone and spirit. The Principal will
have Chapel-prayers in the morning,
hear one or two Senior recitations
during the day, and leaves the hard
work of keeping order and the rou
tine of discipline, to his lady assist
ants, whilst he pockets the praise and
the pay.
But many women have successful
ly controlled large schools in their
own name. The names of Mary
Lyon, Margaret Mercer, Emma Wil
lard, Almira Phelps, Julia Tevis,
Augusta Baldwin, Agnes Bates, and
a host of others, are written too high
and shine too brightly on educational
records to be effaced, and hundreds of
their graduates who rise up and call
them blessed, nut to silence the insin
uations and slanders of those who
traduce the ability of woman to teach.
In fact, a woman is best gifted to
manage a girl’s school, because she
has more ready tact and sympathy,
is more ready to sacrifice self for the
good of her pupils, and with a ten
derness and patience which few mas
culine minds possess, comprehends
and bears with a girl’s nature and
wants in the memory of her own.
The pedagogue with his offence
against etiquette, and “slam” at wo
man, vanished. Time would fail to
tell of all the visits mv friend had,
how she was bored, and. went through
great tribulation, but finally sent her
children to their first school where
they are to this day.
There is time enough left to say
that professional etiquette does not
forbiu the use of any legitimate and
honorable means for advancing one’s
interest. A teacher, for instance,
would have no hesitation in asking
her own patrons to continue their pat
ronage and give the school the bene
fit of their influence. She will not
try to pull down the work of others,
but she will labor to the utmost to
teach her pupils well, make them
happy, and by giving satisfaction
merit patronage.
She may not go, or send, from house
to house hunting scholars, for people
like to judge for themselves, and an
independent thinker does not wish
one’s own report as to ability and suc
cess, nor docs he generally believe it
when given, since “ Self-praise is half
scandal ;” but the newspaper col
umns are open for advertisements,
circulars do not cost much, and a lit
tle honest energy will scatter them
broadcast over the land.
Then, have respect enough for the
ability of people to form an opinion
of your school and act accordingly, to
leave them alone.
There is something moral j}’ wrong
and dishonorable in persecuting peo
ple, even for conscience sake, and it is
really cruel to persecute them for
the sake of their children.
Nor is it ever right to sink the lady
or the gentleman in the profession.
Not only professional etiquette, but a
higher law', even that of Christian
modesty and courtesy, bids us, “Look
not every man on his ow r n things, but
every man also on the things of oth
ers.”
Better shut up every schoolhouse
in the land than to open and fill them
by unfair means.
THE GREAT LOVE OF GOI).
A lady gives the following account
of the way in which she was brought
out of deep eonvinetion of sin into
peace:
“ 1 do not kno w what made me go
to see Dr. Cabot, the minister. He
received me in that cheerful way of
his, that seems to promise the taking
one’s burden right off one’s back.
“ 4 1 am very glad to see you, my
dear child,’ he said.
44 1 intended to bo very dignified
and cold—as if I were going to have
any of Dr. Cabot’s undertaking to
sympathize with me! But those few
kind words just upset me, and I be
gan to cry.
“ 4 You would not speak so kindly,’
1 got out at last, ‘if you knew what a
dreadful creature 1 am. lam angry
with myself, and angry with every
body, and angry with God. I can’t
be good two minutes at a time. Ido
everything 1 do not want to do, and
do nothing I try and pray to do.
And God does not answer any of my
prayers, and 1 am just desperate.’
44 4 Poor child!’ he said in a low
voice, as if to himself. 4 Poor, heart
sick, tired child, who cannot see w’hat
1 can see, that it’s Father’s loving
arms are all about it.’
44 I stopped crying, to strain my
ears to listen. He went on :
“ 4 Katy, all that you say may be
true. I dare say it is. But*God
loves you, he loves you.’
“ 4 lie loves me! ’ I repeated to
myself. ‘He loves me! O, Dr. Ca
bot !if I could believe that! If I
could believe that, after all the prom
ises I have broken; all the foolish,
wrong things I have done, and shall
always be doing, God, perhaps,
still loves me!’
44 4 You may be sure of it,’ he said
solemnly. 4 1, His minister, bring
the Gospel to you to-day. Go home,
and say over and over to yourself:
lam a wayward, foolish child. But
he loves me! 1 have lost faith in
some of my dearest friends, and am
very desolate. But he loves me! I
do not love him. lam even angry
with him! But he loves me !’
“ J came away, aud ail the way
home I fought this battle with my
self, saying: 4 He loves me!’ 1 knelt
down to pray, and all my wasted,
childish, wicked life, came and stared
me in the face. I looked at it, and
said with tears of joy: 4 But he loves
me!’
“ Never in my life did I feel so
rested, so quieted, so sorrowful, and
yet so satisfied.”
Persons who have recently traveled
through Russia say that country re
sembles more a vast camp than a na
tion on a peace footing. Soldiers
abound in all directions, and the great
[ otit military activity prevails.
Written for the Standard A Express.
INCIDENTS OF THE WAR.
From an Unpublished Manuscript.
>r A LADT or BSkTOW COCNTT, GEORGIA.
“ Scenes of domestic peace and social bliss
Are changed to >oene» of woe and wretched
ness.
Houses sacked, towns wrapped in flames.
Just Heaven, say,
Is this the bar.
Which w arriors gain, 13, this called Fame ?”
Monday morning tame bright and
beautiful; the scenes of yesterday
were giving way to the realities of
farm life. The servants were all out
early, engaged in repairing damages,
removing breastworks, and replacing
fences, when suddenly a whole troop
of Confederate soldiers dashed by,
and, to our dismay and consternation,
stopped just in sight and arranged
themselves in line of battle. I could
see them all sitting on their horses
just ready for a charge, and they sent
me word that they were momentari
ly expecting the enemy, and should
they come, they would have a fight
right there. So after all the
of yesterday, perhaps a worse fate was
in store for us to-day.
Visions of the dead and dying rose
up in all their horror before me. It
hail been my one continual prayer
that I might see no bloodshed, but
now I feared the worst, for “ foe was
about to meet foe.” But I had the
promise, “as thy day so shall thy
strength he.” I felt that my heaven
ly Father would enable me to pass i
safely “ under the rod.” I sent the ;
servants with my children out of im
mediate danger, and I alone remain
ed in the house. I watched and
waited awhile and then called up
Ben and sent him to them and beg
ged them if it was possible to move
off a little further, which they kindly
did. After waiting an hour or two,
no enemy coming, they retired in the
same direction from which they had
come; and we all felt so thankfnl to
find that we were alone and quiet j
once more. Our own soldiers never ;
gave us any trouble. Occasionally j
one or two in passing would call and I
give us some intelligence of the ene
emy, or ask for provisions for them- j
selves or horses, but only once did I j
have any trouble with them, and I
knew at that time that they were not
regular soldiers, hut deserters whose j
object was plunder.
The next day I found myself really
sick from having passed through so j
much excitement, and, scarcely hop
ing to have the presence of our phy- |
sician, I wrote to him for medicines, |
and to come if he could pass their |
lines. I found Ben ever unwilling to
go in their midst for any favor, what- j
ever. He would always say: “ I will
stay with you and by you, and work
for you, and tight for you, if necessa- |
ry ; and when they come here I will j
not run from them, but I can never
go anywhere among them. I prom- j
ised my master to stay with you as j
long as he was in the army , and I will i
keep my promise;” which he did
faithfully, even unto the end of life. [
He died the very day Lincoln was as- j
sassinated. Os all the dark hours of j
my life, that was the darkest, when I
saw the grave close over that faithful, i
devoted slave. Had I known then |
that the war cloud was passing away, |
and that peace was about to dawn
upon us once more, possibly, my grief
had been somewhat alleviated; but I j
had no ray of hope to cling to; death '
had claimed him who had been ser
vant, friend and all to me, through I
the drearest period of my life, and
never, never, while life lasts, can Ii
forget that there was one who was I
faithful to the end. We had thanked
God for giving us so faithful a ser
vant, and we lived to thank him that
he had taken him while he was yet j
lour own.
I was talking with him one day
when several Yankees rode up to the
gate. Said I, “ Ben, you had better
leave before they come in.” 44 What
for,” said he quickly, “don’t you
want them to see me talking to
you?” 44 Why,” continued he, “ I
always take particular pains to call
you mistress when they come about;
1 love to have them know 1 have a
master and mistress; what do I care
for them, and who are they that I
should be ashamed of you? I nev
er came near striking one of them but
once, and that was the other day,
when one of them told me to take an
axe and cut into the corn crib. He
cursed me, and told me that if my
master was there, he would give me
blows.
44 1 told him I had had two masters
since 1 had been a grown man, and
never had one of them given me a
blow; that when I was a boy, 1 was
a bad one, and was punished when I
needed it, but never once since a
boy.”
Many a night through the long
summer months, when my little ones
were in bed and asleep, and I would
lx* sitting out alone, “with naught
but the stars” for my companions, I
would hear a gentle step around the
corner, and I would know it was Ben.
44 Are you there?” he would ask, 44 1
know you are lonely, and I have
come around to keep you company,”
and for hours he would cheer, com
fort and console me, and for the hun
dredth time assure me that I should
never want for any thing, so long as
his health aud strength lasted. Then
he would plan for the future, and tell
me wluit he had stored away where
he knew the Yankees could not find
it.
Alfred came up and said he would
go, that he was never afraid of any of
them. So he started, and succeeded
in passing all the picket-posts but
one, and they would not let him go
any farther, but he prevailed on them
to pass the note through for him,
which they did, and they succeeded
in getting the medicine for me. That
night just after dark Gen. Kilpatrick
sent a guard, and had Alfred taken
and carried up to his headquarters,
and examined him himself. He
made every etfort to find out through
him if I had not sent him up as a
“spy.” He told them that he did
not suppose I had ever thought of
such a thing. 44 But,” said Gen. Kil
patrick, 44 did she not tell you to find
out something about our camp, and
how it was situated?” “No, sir,”
said he, 44 she did not.” “ But,” still
persisted he, “she told you to look
around and see how many men we
had ?” “ No, sir,” said he,* “my mis
tress would never have done such a
thing; she only wanted a physician
or medicine, and she gave me no oth
er instruction whatever.” lie was fi
nally compelled to dismiss him, and
let him return home. He did have
the humanity to say to him as he
was leaving: “If your mistress is
really sick, and should require a phy
sician after this, and will let me
know, she shall have all necessary at
tention ;” which was really of some
comfort to me.
The next morning when Alfred
came in, and was telling me this, I
said: “ Why, Alfred, there was one
other mission 1 had charged you
with.” “What was it?” asked he.
“ Why, I told you to look around,
and if you should see any of my mis
sing china, to try to make some bar
gain with them for it.” “Oh!” said
he, 44 when they first came for me, I
was really frightened, not knowing
what they were taking me off for, so
that I never once thought of it.
Gen. Kilpatrick then had his head
quarters in the physician’s house that
i had sent to for medicine. In the
spring when the Yankees passed
through, they had taken from him
his horse-waiets, and destroyed the
most of his medicines. After that
they had even carried off his own and
his wife’s clothing. This time as
CARTEBSVILLE, GEORGIA, THURSDAY MORNING, APRIL -25, 187-2.
they came through he and his family
happened to be away from home, and
when they returned, they found they
had taken possession of two rooms in
the house, and were cooking supper
in the kitchen, and had nearly emp
tied their pantry, and they could not
even serve up their own supper. Gen.
Kiljatrick very- generously sent and
invited them in to take tea with him,
which they were compelled to do or
do without. One night, in the sum
mer. a party of Yankees rode up at
midnight. They woke the Doctor,
and called for him to come out. H**
walked out to see what they wanted,
and they actually compelled him to
pilot them over'the town, not per
mitting him even to put on his boots.
He complained that the rocks hurt
his feet; they cursed him, and told
him, with an oath, “to step high
then.”
SOMETHING NEW ABOUT PATRICK HENRY.
Rev. Edward Fontaine of Louisia
na, recently read a highly interest
ing paper before the Long island
Historical Society on Patric Henry,
the great Virginnia orator of the rev
olution. Mr. Fontaine is a decendant
of the distinguished man of whom he
spoke, the facts being compiled from
unpublished family documents 4 and
correct many erors to be found in the
biographies which have already ap
peared.
Rev. Mr. Fontaine said that ever
since he was seventeen years of age
he had kept a journal, and all the
anecdotes told him of Patric Henry
by the oldest of his grandsons and
three of his daughters hud been care
fully written down. From that source
he should draw the material for his
lecture, and at the same time endeav
or to correct many mistakes in what
had been said of him. The biography
written of him by Wm. NVij*t, in
1797, had past through fifteen edi
tions, but it abounded in mistakes
and some of them he hoped to he
able to correct.
The Father of Patric Henfy
was Colonel J ohn Henry, of Aberden,
in Scotland, who came to this county
in the year 1689 and settled in Vir
ginia. He became a Justice of the
Peace, a Magistrate, and was also a
Colonel in the Colonial forces. He
married a Mrs. Sim, the widow of
Colonel Sim, of Winchester. She
was formerly Miss Winston, and de
cended from the celebrated welsh
family of that name. Patrick Henry
inherited the prudence of his Scotch
father and the fire of his Welsh
mother, and they combined to make
him an orator who spoke as Homer
wrote. Although Patrick Henry
filled almost every position of honor
and trust which it was in the power
of his fellow-citizens in Virginia to
bestow upon him.
He teas a Poor Man
when elected Governor for the fourth
time. He declined the honor on
account of his poverty. The times,
however, have changed in that respect
for now men take their seats without
being worth a cent, and retire from
office worth millions of dollars. But
the idea never seemed to occur to
him while the sword and the purse
of Virginia, were at his disposal that
he could amass wealth by a judicious
use of his patronage. Although he
never attended college he received an
excellent classical education from his
uncle, and was also taught “to be
true and just in all my dealings, to
bear no malice or hatred in my heart, -
to keep my hands from picking and
stealing, and to do my duty in that
state of life which it shall please God
to call me.” An error lias been com
mitted in regard to the stalementput
forth of file apparent want of prepar
ation of his speeches; and from wjiat
Mr. Wirt has said it might be sup
posed that there was nothing of the
“smell of the lamp” abdutthem. He
was, however, another illustration of
the saying that “ a poet is born, but
an orator is made.” He had poetical
abilities of very high order, hut his
speeches were all carefully prepared.
His Personal Appearance
was exceedingly striking; he was six
feet in height, iiad dark curly hair,
and a very commanding countenance.
But liis most remarkable feature was
his eyes, which were deeply set, and
of a hazel hue; his organ of speech
was perfect, and its tones wer like
that of some grand wind instrument
and always under perfect control.
He had a poetic temperament, and,
although born a poet, he made him
self a great orator, and in his speech
on free trade he said, “ Fetter not
commerce. Let her be free as air,
and she will return upon the four
winds of Heaven to bless the land
with plenty.” Those were words
which could not have been uttered by
any man unless he had been a poet.
In preparing for his work he spent
one hour every day in prayer, a prac
tice which is now very seldom ob
served sxcept by Ministers of the
Gospel and old fashioned men and
women. In 1789 he retired from
public life very poor, and the next
nine years he spent in securing a
competency for his family. During
that period he laid up an ample for
tune for each one of his thirteen chil
dren, and then, in 1796, finding that
his family was in easy circumstances,
he retired from the practice of his pro
fession, but with a constitution sadly
shattered by a complication of dis
eases, not one, however, which had
been brought on by vice or excess of
any kind.
HOW TO BE POLITE.
Do not try too hard to be polite.
Never overwhelm your friends by
begging them to make themselves at
home, or they will soon wish they
were there. Show by your ac
tions rather than your words that
you are glad to see them. Have
enough regard for yourself to treat
your greatest enemy with quiet po
liteness. All petty slights are
merely meanness, and hurt your
self more than any one else.
Do not talk about yourself or your
family to the exclusion of other top
ics. What if you are clever, and a
little more so than other people, it
may not be that other folks will think
so, whatever they ought to do.
It may be interesting to you to talk
over your ailments, but very tire
some for others to listen to.
Make people think you consider
them clever and agreeable, and they
will be pretty apt to have a pleasant
impression of yourself.
Treat people just as you would like
to have them treat you.
It is much easier to lose the good
opinion of people than to retain it;
and when any one does not care for
the good opinion of others, he or she
is not worthy of respect.
Do not excuse your house, furni
ture, or the table you set before your
guests. It is fair to suppose their
visits are to you, not to your sur
roundings.
The whole machinery of social in
tercourse is very delicieate and intri
cate, and it is our business to keep all
places of possible friction well sup
plied with the oil of politeness.
President Juarez, of Mexico, is not
a half-breed, as some of our contem
poraries suppose. He is a pure In
dian—one of the “ Pueblos.” Hence
his strong hold upon the affections of
the Pueblos, who form about four
fifths of the entire population of Mex
ico—the unmixed “children of the
sun,” but most deeidely sunburnt.
They are very excellent people—on
ly a little too*fond of war and garlic.
-*•*
Hon. Jared I. Whitaker and his
former clerk have been arrested at the
instigation of the State Road Com
mittee. The warrants charge the
parties with presenting wrong ac
counts to the extent of $18,195. Both
were bound over to appear before the
City Court in June, ia bonds of $2,-
1000.
I WORD TO PARENTS.
To expect to darn a river with a
feather, or stop an earthquake with
a plaster, or drown a hurricane with
a tin whistle, is about as reasonable
as to expect by argument or advice to
; change inclinations of young folks
when they are under the influence of
the passion which they call love, and
are determined to marry the object of
their desire.
“ Say what you will, and do what
you will, I will have him!” said one
girl, and she did have him, with
intemperance, poverty, beggary, in
sanity and death to close the scene.
“ Would you marry him if you
thought these stories weije true?”said
a Christian minister to a young rela
tive who was committing her heart
to the keeping of one against whom
all evil charges were brought by
mutual friends who had opportunity
to know the truth.
“ No, I would not,” said she, but
no one could convince her of the truth
of the statements. Twenty or thirty
years of pain and sorrow, and broken
heart and broken spirits have done
the work for her at last.
“ Would you marry him if you
knew he drank liquor!” said a woman
to a fair young girl.
“Certainly I would—marry him
and reclaim him”—was the answer;
and she did marry him, and ere she
had passed a month with her husband
she was advised by her friends to
leave him, and after a year aud a
half of abuse and sorror she returned
to her father’s house a poor wrecked
shadow of her former self—fleeing
from her brutal, drunken husband to
Save what little life she had left.
Ten thousand girls stand upon the
verge of the same abyss to-day, and
nothing you can say will affect them
in the least, except to hurry them on
to their terrible doom.
Why is it? Partly because they!
have never yielded their wills to!
parental control, and, have always i
had their own way, and partly, be
cause their parents have never warned !
them of this danger, till it came on
like an overrunning flood. Parents
do not win or encouragetheconfidence
of their children. Old people forget
that they were young, and young I
people do not remember that they
may yet be old. Mutual confidence
is needful to mutual comfort or im
provment
If the mother would say to her
daughter in early life—long before:
the dangerous period comes: “My
child, there will come a time when ;
new feelings, impulses, instincts and
emotions will sway you, and when
the opposite sex will awake in you
passions which often prove stronger j
than judgemet, reason, and consci
ence; and coming under the influence
of some young man , you will be |
liable to lose your self-control, and be :
swayed bv Ins will, and think his ;
thoughts, and feel his feelings, and j
say “ves” to his request, because it is i
liis will and mind that makes you i
speak the words he desires to hear;
all this will come, and you be liable ;
to be swept to ruin by the force of an
influence which you do not under- i
stand, and can neither control or j
resist, and which may be strong in
proportion as its source is vile and ;
worthless, and your only security j
from it is to place your future in the j
hands of God, and watch your paths j
and thoughts, and avoid even the j
outer circles of this dangerous whirl- !
pool, by investigating and judging
first and loving afterwards, and only
yielding your .affections when and ;
where unbiased judgement will de- j
clare that it is safe and right to yield i
them.”
If such warnings and instructions
as these were given from day to day
early in life, how many a young girl
would ponder the path of her feet and
walk carefully that her feet might es
cape the ruin that attends so many in
their wayward course.
Mothers and fathers, begin in sea
son with your children! Prepare
them to rightly estimate the new in
stincts and emotions of maturing life;
not by joking and hectoring them,
but by wise and loving counsel. Win
their confidence and keep it. Pre
serve their privacies; shield the se
cret of their hearts from the rude gaze
and mocking laugh, and let them feel
that it is the safest thing they can do
to show their love-letter to father, or
whisper their first tender secret in
their mother’s ear, assured that they
will find for such communications a
patient, courteous, reasonable and
tender reception ; find they have the
best of counsel, with no danger that
their confidence will be betrayed.
Parents, train your children in
time. They have this sea to sail over
—see to it that they study the chart
and know the rocks beforehand. Tell
them the things they need to know.
Guard against the wreck and ruin that
destroys so many of the young.
“ Train up a child in the way he
should go, and when he is old he will
not depart from it.”
AN IRON FAMIME FEARED.
With every furnace in blast, and
importations large, the United States
is threatened with an iron famine.
Since January 1, American pig No. 1
has advanced from $36@37 to $50@52
per ton, rails from S7O to 85, and bar
iron from SB2 50@87 52 to $103@105.
In imported iron the rise is propor
tionate, English rails having anvane
ed since the beginning of the year
from SSB to gold; old rails
from $39 to $52<a53, and scrap iron
from $42@43 to $62@65. The reason
is, an enormous increase of consump
tion; and production has not kept
pace with it because the necessity for
new iron was not felt until surplus
stocks were exhausted. Last year
the consumption in the United States
was about 2,600,000 tons, of which we
produced about 2,000,000 tons aud
imported the balance. Os the con
sumption last year, one-half was used
in railroads. We have now 60,000
miles of railroad in operation, to keep
which in repair will require, in ad
dition to old rails rerolled, three tons
to the mile, or say 180,000 tons. Last
year we built about 7,000 miles of
new road. If we build as much this
year, we shall require of new rails
about 88 tons to the mile, or 016,000
tons. To this may be added for
bolts, spikes, joints, switches and the
like, say 10 tons to the mile, or 70,000
tons. The capacity of the furnaces
now in operation is 2,000,000 tons to
which may be added 150,000 tons as
the probable product of new furnaces
now building.— Constitutionalist.
The Committee of Arrangements
for the Cincinnati Convention have
issued a circular inviting voters, with
out distinction of party, to join in
sustaining the Constitution as it is, in
securing civil service reform, a tariff
for revenue only, general amnesty for
past political offences, and local self
government.
The Atlanta New Era printing of
fice has been levied on as the proper
ty of John Rice, in favor of the State.
The Constitution says:
We learn that Mr. Scruggs contem
plated publishing a paper with the
material —to be called the Atlanta
Whig—in fact, the paper was nearly
ready for the press.
Robt. E. Lee, Jr., son of Gen. R. E.
Lee, with his lady, was in Macon Last
w r eek.
A number of prominent Republi
cans, of lowa, have issued a call for a
mass meeting to appoint delegates to
the Cincinnati Convention.
The Knoxville Press and Herald
says it was a noticeable fact that there
was not a single German present at
the Knox county Radical meeting on
the Ist iust»
WORDS OF WISDOM.
Keep got si company or none.
Naver be idle; if your hands can
not be usefully employing attend to
the cultivation of your mind.
Always speak the truth.
Make few promises. Live up to
your engagements.
Keep your own secrets, if you have
any.
When you speak to a persou, look
him in the face.
Good company and good conversa
tion are the very sinews of virtue.
Good character is above all things
else. Your character cannot l>e es
sentially injured except by your own
acts.
If any one speaks evil of you, let
your life be so that none will believe
him.
Drink no kind of intoxicating li
quors.
Always live (misfortune excepted)
within your income.
When you retire to bed, think over
what you have been doing during
the day.
Make no haste to be rich if you
would prosper.
Small and steady gains give com
petency with tranquility of mind.
Never play at any game of chance.
Avoid temptation, through fear
you may not withstand it.
Earn money before you spend it.
Never run into debt unless you see
a way to get out again.
Never borrow if you can possibly
avoid it.
Do not marry until you are able to
support a wife.
Never speak ill of any one.
Be just before you are generous.
Keep yourself innocent if you
would be happy.
Save when you are young, to spend
when you are old.
OLD COPARTNERSHIPS.
Whisky and Ignorance.
Whisky and Poverty.
Whisky and Sensuality.
Whisky and Crime.
Whisky and Degradation.
Whisky and Disease.
Whisky and a Broken-hearted
Wife and Ragged Children.
Whisky and the Poor House.
Whisky and Destruction.
ROBBING BIRDS OF THEIR YOUNG.
44 1 have found out a gift for my fair;
I have found where the wood-pig
eon breed;
But let me that plunder forbear,
She will say ’twas a barbarous deed.
“ For he ne’er could be true, she aver
r’d,
Who could rob a poor bird of its
young;
And I lov’d her the more when I
heard
Such tenderness fall from her
tongue.” Shenstone.
SOCTH CAROLINA.
This poor State does indeed seem to
be the subject of special spite from
the administration. Scenes of cruel
wrong, outrage and oppression are of
daily occurrence.
The Laurensville Herald, describ
ing a Federal raid upon that village
on Sunday before last, at which time
one of the editors of the Herald was
arrested, says: “ Many citizens were
arrested without knowing what were
the charges against them, and no
warrants were presented. The scenes
in the streets of Laurensville, during
the quiet Sabbath day that was selec
ted for the raid, are described as heart
rending—-wives, sisters, mothers and
little children clinging to the necks
of husbands, brothers, sons and lath
ers, and sending up a wail of grief
that was pitiable in the extreme.”
A sect of Mohammedans has arisen
in Persia, now numbering 200,000,
which recognizes the Bible as the
Word of God, and attempts to recon
cile the creed of Islam and Christiani
ty-
The Labor Reformers.—These
factionists have pitched their head
quarters’ tent at Washington, and it
is said expect to spend a large amount
of money in the presidential cam
paign, in the usual line of documents
and speeches.
J. 11. Caldwell, the psalm-singer,
chicken-lifter and Radical preacher,
has migrated. Georgia, it is to be
hoped, will know him no more forev
er.
Cobb county is to have anew court
house, to cost alß,ooo. —Marietta .Jour
nal.
Dr. J. E. Laurence, of Rome, com
mitted suicide a few days ago.—Cou
rier.
One hundred acres of land in Hous
ton county brought SSO last Thursday
week.
St. Louis, April s.—The horse
shoers have struck against machine
made shoes.
The Western aud Southern Railway
Association will meet in Atlanta on
Tuesday next. The Superintendents
to arrange time tables will meet at the
same time.
Washington, April s.—The Com
mittee on Executive Affairs of the
House are considering a bill for abol
ishing the Freedmen’s Bureau. A
letter from General Howard says
that it will require a hundred thou
sand dollars to wind up the whole
concern.
A petition praying for the pardon
of Dr. Westmoreland is being circu
lated and numerously signed in At
lanta.
In regard to the distribution of
arms to re-organized volunteer com
panies, Gov. Smith hopes to be able
to furnish as many companies as may
be organized.
One hundred gentlemen having
subscribed 820 each to defray the ex
penses of Mr. Howard’s mission, he
will leave for Europe about the Ist of
May.
Gardens are assuming a green ap
pearance, and vegetables will soon be
plentiful.
It cost the people of the United
States forty millions of dollars to sup
port the army during the past year.
This seems high ; but when we reflect
that that army has killed nine Indian
women and children, and arrested
twelve hundred people under the
Ku-Klux law, we can’t conscientious
ly say that it is too high.— Courier-
Journal.
A ll it. — “Did you present your
account to the defendant ?” inquired
a lawyer of his client.
“ I did, sir.”
“ And what did he say?”
“ He told me to go to the devil.”
44 Then what did you do?”
44 Why, then —came to you.”
Olive Logan will lecture in Rome
shortly.
The Democrats of Rhode Island
elected their candidate for Lieutenant
Governor.
A juvenile Georgian was petition
ing for “ our daily oread” previous
to retiring, when he was interrupted
by hts younger brother, who whis
pered, 44 Ask for cake, Johnny, ask
foe cake.”
“ Did he bring those chickeas to
your house in a secret way ?” “ No,
he brung ’em in a bag.”
Agricultural Depart iiient.
CLOYER.
If any of our farmers doubt the
adaptability of our soil and climate to
production of clover, they can have
their doubts removed by examining a
small lot we had sown in oats and
clover last Spring. The stand was a
very poor one, an j there was a drought
of unusual severity, as will be remem
bered. We neither cut nor pastured
our clover last year, and now we have
as fine a -tand and as pretty a patch
of clover as can be found in a thou—
and miles. The land is a very stiff
red clay, and when it came into our
possession would scarcely sprout peas.
It is aitogethera mistaken idea that
clover will not grow to advantage
here, and those who are paying from
forty to fifty dollars per ton for hay
would find it greatly to their advant
age to devote a few acres to its pro
duction. Every farmer ought to have
some pasturage and some for hay.
When desired for the latter purpose,
it should be sown with timothy. This
not only saves trouble, but prevents
waste in handling the hay. There is
no difficulty about growing timothy
here, either.
Look at the profitableness of raising
hay! An acre of land which will
bring a bale of cotton will produce
from three to five tons of hay. The
bale of cotton , 400 lbs.) is worth, at 20
cents, SBO. Three tons of hay, at $2.25
per cwt. is worth $135, and five tons,
i which such land ought to produce!
would amount to $225.00 !
It will not pay to grow cotton to
make money with which to buy hay.
—Southern Watchman.
Beefsteak^. — The meat should be
cut from a sir[oin that has been hung
for two or three days in cool weather.
Broil them on a gridiron over a clear
coal or charcoal fire. Have the dish
as hot as possible, with a very little i
minced snalot, and a tablespoonful of
catsup in it. Put a small piece of but
ter on the steak when done, and
while doing turn it frequently to pre
vent the gravy from escaping on
either side. Sprinkle with pepper
and salt when taking from the fire,
and serve as hot as possible. To eat
beefsteaks in perfection they should
be the only dish.
To Remove Grass Stoppers.—
When the stopper of a glass decanter
is too tight, a cloth wet with hot wa
ter and applied to the neck will cause
the glass to expand, and the stopper
may be removed, in phials the
warmth of the hand may be suffi
cient.
To Cut Glass. —Any hard steel
tool (says the Boston* Journal of
Chemistry) will cut glass when kept
freely wet with camphor dissolved in
turpentine. The ragged edges of
glass vessels may be thus easily
smoothed by a flat file.
To Cool a Room.—Wet a cloth of
any size, the larger the better, and
suspend it in the room. Let the ven
tilation be good, and the temperature
will sink from ten to twenty degrees
in less than an hour.
To Prevent Rats from Gnaw
ing Harness.— Mix with the oil ap
plied a little Cayenne pepper, say a
teaspoonful to the quart.
To Prevent Lamps from Smok
ing.—Lay the lamp-wicks in vinegar
for an hour, and dry them well be
fore they are used.
That nation will thrive and grow,
and strike deep root in the earth,
whose young men and women are
taught to cherish happy and honora
ble homes. And the nation is dying
a horrible death, whose young men
and women loath home, or know not
its value. It is the homes of a peo
ple that give all its character and solid
worth.
HE ECONOMICAL.
Look most to your spendings. No
matter what comes in, if more goes
out you will always be poor. The art
is not in making money, but in keep
ing it; little expenses, like mice in a
barn, when they ai'e many, make
great waste. Hair by hair heads get
bald; straw by straw the thatch goes
oft’ the cottage, and drop by drop rain
comes in the chamber. A barrel is
soon empty if the tap leaks but a drop
a minute. When you begin to save,
begin with your mouth; many
thieves pass down the red lane. The
ale jug is a great waste. In all other
things keep within your compass.
Never stretch your legs further than
the blankets wilt reach, or you will
soon be cold. In clothes, choose sui
table and lasting stuff, and not tawdy
fineries. To be warm is the main
thing; never mind the looks. A fool
may make money, but it needs a wise
man to spend it. Remember it is ea
sier to buihl two chimneys than to
keep one going. If you give all to
back and board, there is nothing left
for the savings bank. Fare hard and
work hard while you are young, and
you will have a chance to rest when
you are old. —(Jr iff in Star.
SCR ATS FOR IHE GARDEN.
In planting peas, if the ground is
not excessively poor, ashes from any
hard wood is ali the manure which is
required. Plant them in rows about
six inches apart, and put one row of
sticks between these two rows, then
plant the next two rows about three
feet wide, and so on through the
patch. In this way one-half of the
pea-sticks will be saved, labor of
sticking, &c.
When you plant beet seed put a
little salt near the seed in the ground,
and give them a little salt whenever
you work them.
Remember asparagus cannot have
too much salt, or at any rate so much
should be put over the bed, that weeds
or nothing but asparagus will grow
upon it.
In cultivating celery, use salt, as
advised for beets.
The best manure tomato plants can
have is soap-suds. If you have not
time to make frames for all your to
mato vines, place some large brush
over them when very small, through
which they will grow abundantly.
The ground cannot be too rich for
lettuce or cabbage. Any good eom
mersial fertilizer will ensure them if
well soaked.
Cover your potatoes with straw or
something similar, and if the soil is
friable and good, the crop is certain.
Preserve all your hen-house manure
for the onions; work well and keep
clean of weeds, and your crop is cer
tain.
Be sure to sprinkle plaster on your
melon or cucumber vines, for it is a
specific* remedy for the striped or
melon bug. —Georgia Cultivator.
Best Fertilizer fob Fruit
Trees. —Ground bone is mentioned
by experienced fruit growers as the
very best fertilizer for trees. Apply
it during the winter and see that you
get that which is not too fine. Pow
der bone is best for grain, but for trees
it should not lx* ground too fine.
A gentleman of large experience,
and claiming to be as humane as the
rest of us, communicates to the Ag
riculturist the fact that he rids his
premises of rats by putting potash in
their holes and dens. The poor
wretches get it over their feet and fur,
they lick it, and don’t like the taste
of it; it burns them somewhat, and
the more they see of it the less they
like it; and so they clear out almost
as soon as the application is made. To
get rid of mice, the same person uses
tartar mingled with any favorite
food; they take it, take sick, and take
their leave.
MOLASSES BEER
Six quarts of water, two quarts of
molasses, half a pint of yeast, two
spoonfuls of cream of tarter. Stir all
together. Add the grated peel of a
lemon; the juice may pe substituted
for the cream of tartar. Bottle after
standing ten or twelve hours, with a
raisiu in each.
“High farming meansunderdrain
ing, thorough tillage, irrigation, and
the purchase of manures or feeding
stuffs. It means soiling in summer
and roots in winter. It means large
crops every year and crops that can
be turned into money.”
From present indications we mav
reasonably expect, at no distant pe
riod, to see agriculture, from the jxr
fection of its processes, enabled to iis
sume that high position among the
industrial arts which is justly tor it
on the ground of its pre-eminence ns
a means of national prosperity.
TO DESTROY INSECTS ON PLANTS.
Very weak phosphoric acid, say
one ounce of the acid of com
merce dissqjved in thirty gallons of
water, is a strong poison for all kinds
insects, and yet helps plants, by ad
ding to the soluble phosphates in the
soil, and can do them no harm.
VERMIN ON STOCK.
A correspondent of the 44 Practical
Farmer” says he feeds his stock on
a teaspoonful of sulphur to each ani
mal, with their salt, once in two
weeks. When he has done so, no
vermin has troubled them, and his
dairy cows have not been affected
with garret, nor his sheep with grub
in the head. He has practiced this
for twenty years.
Manure. —Manure may be drawn
out on grass land when other work is
not pressing. Spread it evenly as fast
as it is drawn, and harrow to break
lumps. Everything in and around
the garden that can be coverted into
manure must be saved and composted
with stable manure. Where there is
peat near by, dig out for the compost
neap. Land for early spring crops is
better if manured in the fall.
In broiling a beefsteak, whenever*
the coals blaze up from the drippings, j
a pinch of fine salt thrown upon them '
will Instantly extinguish the flames.
By carefully attending to this matter, j
you may have your broiled steak or
chicken crisp, but not scorched, and
juicy, yet well done.
Cucu mber Bug.— A correspondent
of the Maryland Farmer says:
The following effectually protected i
my melon, squash, ououmoer, and
other vines from the “striped or cu- i
cumber bug,” the past season, with
only one application, viz: a strong so
lution of hen house manure to one ■
and a half gallons water, let it stand !
twenty-four hours and sprinkle the j
plants freely with it after sunset. The j
above was suggested to me by a ne
gro woman living on my place, who j
has some practical experience in gar- j
dening, and says she has never known
the first application to fail to drive
them off, and they never return.
Value of the Hay Crop,— The
total value of the cotton crop for 1870
in the United States, according to the
figures of the Agricultural Bureau,
amounted to $286,000,000. The total
value of the hay crop $339,000,000,
j showing the value of the latter ex
ceeding the former $35,000,000. In
| Georgia the hay crop that year was
estimated at $1,283,150, while that of
j New York was $77,000,000.
Relieving Choked Cattle.—A
very simple instrument for relieving
choked cattle, is simply a tarred rope
one and a lialfinches in diameter, and
five or six feet long. The end that is
intended to go down the throat is
trimmed off and wound with a piece
■of cotton cloth smeared with soft
; grease before using. With this I have
* relieved five within two years. Tie
: the creature up, let one man hold the
left horn with liis right hand, and
luke the creatures tongue out with his
left, while another man runs the rope
down. It is limber enougli to follow
the passage, yet stiff enough to re
move all obstructions. There should
be one or more in every neighbor
hood.
Bugs and Cockroaches.— The
Journal of Chemistry publishes this
remedy for water-bugs and cockroach
es : 44 Boil one ounce of poke-root in
one pint of water until the strength is
extracted; mix the decoction with
molasses and spread it on plates in
the kitchen or other apartments which
are infested by these insects. All
that have partaken of this luxury du
ring the night will be found ‘organic
remains’ the next morning.”
How to Soften Putty or Paint.
—lt frequently happens in every
household that paint is to be removes!,
or old putty taken from the window
sash. The Harness and Carriage
Journal gives the following receipt
for accomplishing this without injury
to the wood work : 44 Mix equal
parts of good soap, potash, and slack
ed lime, add sufficient water to form
a paste ; apply this with a brush, and
let it stand some three or four hours,
and your putty or paint will be soft
ened, so that it ran he easily removed
with a blunt chisel.”
To Remove Proud Flesh.—Pul
verize loaf sugar very fine* and apply
it to the part afflicted. This is anew
and easy remedy, and is said to re
move it entirely without pain.
Chocolate, the flour of the cocoa-nut,
was first introduced in England from
Mexico, in the year 1520, andsoon af
ter became a favorite beverage in the
London coffee-houses.
A Nice Summer Drink. —One
quarter of a pound of tartaric acid,
four pounds of sugar, two quarts of
boiling water ; when cold, add one
half an ounce of any kind of essence,
and bottle it. When used, put a lit
tle into a tumbler of ice water, add a
quarter of a teaspoonful of soda, stir
ring quickly until it foams.
There is nothing equal to a thorough
stirring of the soil. Experiments
have shown that a mellow, loamy
soil is capable of absorbing in twelve
hours, when exposed to a moist at
mosphere, an amount of water equal
to two per cent, of its weight. This
property possessed by a mellow soil
is one that in a dry season is able to
give it the power of maturing a crop,
when a hardening surface would be
unable to do so. A surface that is im
penetrable to the atmosphere of course
could not absorb any of the moisture
with which the atmosphere is charg
ed. But when rendered free from
lumps by repeated harrowings, each
change of temperature causes a circu
lation of air through the mass of soil,
which is free then to absorb all the
moisture coining in contact with it
until saturated.
C’h ick en Chole ha. — Ben ja mi n
Sheppard, Cumberland connty, N. J.,
says he has had great success in check
ing chicken cholera, by administer
ing a strong decoction* of black-oak
bark. It was given to the fowls by
moistening their feed with it, and re
straining them from other diet.
French Rolls. —Rub an ounce of
butter with a pound of flour; mix one
beaten egg, a little sweet yeast, and
as much milk as will make the dough
of a good consistency. Beat it well,
but do not knead; let it rise and bake
<m tins.
VOL. 12-NO. 42
WIT AND HUMOR.
Bridget came to her mistress and
asked for a needle and thread.
“Do you want it line or coarse?”
asked the lady.
“Sure an’ Y don’t know, ma’am,”
said Bridget.
'* What do you want It for?” ask<*d
the mistress; “if you tell me that, I
may know what to give you.”
“ Well, mum, the cook has just
tould me to stilting the beans, au’
shure 1 want a nadle an' thrid for
that.”
A Canadian editor announced that
“he had a keen rapier to prick all
fools ami knaves.” His contempora
ry over the way said he hoped hi,-,
friends would take it from him, for
he might commit suicide.
An Irish drummer, who now and
then indulged in a glass or two, was
accosted by the Inspector-General.
“What makes your fact* so red?”
“ Plane, your honor,” said l'at, “ I al
ways blush when I speak to a general
officer.”
An artless newspaper man, who
lately bought a few sausages, thus re
lates His troubles:
“ 1 got them sausages home with
out getting bit, and I cut them apart
and left them. In the morning I vis
ited them. Throe of ’em had huddled
up together, and were sleeping sweet
ly. Two of ’em had crawled to my
milk-pail and were lapning the milk,
and one, a black and white one, was
on the back fence trying to catch an
English sparrow. 1 drowned the
whole lot.”
An editor whose subscribers were
remiss in payment, lately published
the following announcement in his
paper: “To save our readers the
trouble of sending their subscriptions
by post, and to relieve two unfort
unates, we shall send to each of our
debtors, in the course of a few days,
two collectors, one of whom has
hardly recovered from the smallpox
and the other of whom has just taken
the itch.” The delinquents did not
want to be called on, but paid their
dues promptly.
The latest dodge of a parent to
overcome his son’s aversion to
medicine, and “ doctor” him at the
same time, occurred in Cleveland,
whence a eroupy youngster was in
duced to make a hearty meal of buck
wheat cakes and “maple syrup;”
but the latter proved to lie nice syrup
of squills. The boy said he thought
something ailed the molasses the
minute his father told him to eat all
he wanted to.
A story is told of a soldier who was
in Siberia. His last remark was, “It
is ex—” He then froze stiff as mar
ble. In the summer of 1800 some
physicians found him, after having
lain frozen for one hundred and fif
teen years. They graudually thawed
him, and upon animation being re
stored he concluded his sentence with
—“ceedingly cold.”
A GENTLE REBIKF.
A lady riding in a car on the New
York Central Railroad, was disturb
ed in her reading by the conversa
tion of two gentlemen occupying the
seat just before her. One of them
seemed to lie a student of some col
lege on his way home for a vacation.
Housed much profane language,
greatly to the annoyance of the lady.
She thought she would rebuke him,
and on begging pardon for interrupt
ing them, asked the young student if
he had studied the languages,
“ Yes, madam ; I have mastered
the languages quite well.”
“ Do you read and speak Hebrew.”
“ Quite fluently.”
“ Will you be so kind as to do mo a
small favor?”
“ With great pleasure I am at your
service.”
“ Will you be so kind as to do your
swearing in Hebrew?”
We may well suppose the lady was
not annoyed any more by the un
gentlemanly language of this would
be-gentleman.
RATHER SLIM.
A Detroit man who had contribut
ed a bundle of his cast- olf clothing for
the relief of the victims of the Min
nesota fire, received from one of tho
sufferers the following note:
“The com mi tty man giv me
amungst other things wat he called a
pare of pants, and ’twould make me
pant sum to ware ’em. I found your
name and where you live in one of
the jxxikets. My wife luffed so when
I shode ’em to her that I thought
she wood have a eonnipshun fit. She
wants to know if there lives and
breethes a man who has legs no big
ger than that. She sed if there was
he orte to he taken up fur vagrinsy,
for haying no visible means of sup
port. 1 couldn’t get ’em on my old
est boy, so 1 used ’em for gun eases.
If you hav anuthur pare to spair my
wife wood like to get ’em to hang
up by the side ov the finvplase to
keep the tongs in.”
A SIIABP RETORT.
During tho sitting of the Court in
Connecticut not long ago on a very
j cold evening, a crowd of lawyers had
i collected around the fire, which blaz
ed cheerfully on the hearth in the
bar-room, when a traveler entered,
I benumbed with cold, but no one
I moved to give him room to warm
i his shins, so he leaned back against
i the wall in the back part of the
• room.
Presently a smart young limb o
| the law addressed him, when the fol
i lowing dialogue took place:
“ You look like a traveler?”
“ Waal, I suppose I am; Icameall
the way from Wisconsin afoot at any
rate!”
“ From Wisconsin! What a dis
tance to come on one pair of legs.”
“ Waal, done it, anyhow.”
“ Did you ever pass through hell in
any of your travels?”
“ Yes, sir, I’ve passed through the
outskirts.”
“ I thought likely. Well, what
are the manners and customs there?
Home of us should like to know.”
“Oh, you’ll find them much the
same as in this place— the lawyers sit
nearest (he fire.'' 1
The only man not spoiled by being
“ lionized'” was the prophet Daniel.
A FLOCK 01 WILD GEESE DRI NK
One Tom Mosely, of Stockton,
California, is reporfeible for this story:
Up in the vicinity of Groyson, on
the west side of the river, since the
storm, wild geese have become so
numerous as to do serious damage in
the way of picking up wheat lately
sown. A farmer friend of Tom’s who
resides in that locality, hit upon a
novel but effective plan of freeing
himself of the ravages of the millions
of wild fowls that swarm that region.
He poured whiskey over a quanity
of wheat until it absorbed about a
gallon; he then scattered the wheat
over his fields and awaited theresult.
The geese came in flocks; they
alighted and devoured the wheat,
I and in a little while the fields were
filled with drunken geese, tumbling
about and fighting for all the world
like drunken men. Now was the
time for the farmer, and with a club
he killed no less than six hundred of
the drunken crowd. He gathered up
the slain and set a lot of Chinamen to
pluck their feathers, from the sale of
which he expects to realize the value
of the whisky used, if not of the
wheat eaten.