Newspaper Page Text
By the I Coyle I’nliliwliinty Company.
VOLUME XXXVII.
NFW
CLOTHING!
44444444444444444444
4444444444444444444
BIG LOT I
JUST IN I
4444444444444444444
444 i T^'^4*W*W*4*4^
R. E. ANEOE & CO.,
14 Main Street.
Telephone 9.
Money for the People
at
TURNER’S CASH STORE!
1 will start in a few days for th© Eastern markets to buy my Fall
Goods, and in order to make room for them I propose to sell my Summer
Goods out
AT COST, AND LESS.
In fact the cost of the goods will have nothing to do with the selling price.
They have got to be sold regardless of cost. 1 know it will not pay me to
carry the goods over to another year, and I know, too, that I have got to
offer more than
ORDINARY INDUCEMENTS
to sell the goods this late in the season. Therefore I have decided to
knock the bottom out and MAKE prices that will sell them.
FOR INSTANCE : I have got about 500 pairs Ladies’ Low Cut Shoes
and Slippers, worth from 75c up to $2 per pair, and on every one of then
the price will be cut down just half—the 75c shoes will be sold at 37 l-2c,
the shoes at 50c, the $1.50 at 75c, and so on.
IN MY CLOTHING DEPARTMENT I have 300 suits that must be
closed out at some price. This is one particular part of the goods that the
cost will have nothing to do with the selling price. I have one lot good
Blue and Black Twill Cheviot Suits, worth s3.so—closing price will be
$2 50. Anotht r lot Dark Gray Mixed Suits, worth fully s6—l will close
now at $3.50. The all wool $7 Suits will go as long as they last at $4, and
so on up to the sl2 Suits. Boys’ and Children’s Suits will be closed out
at even a lower price in proportion than the men’s—from 50c Suits up.
Men’s and Boys’ Pants, and Boys’ Knee Pants, will be closed out at cost
and under.
IN MY HAT DEPARTMENT I have a large assortment to close out.
Among them I have left is about one hundred of the best $1 Hats in
Gainesville, but as long as they last I will close them at 88c.
IN THE MEN’S AND BOYS’ COLORED SHIRT DEPARTMENT I
have more than usual for the time of year, and will make a special low cut
to get rid of them.
There are a great many other goods that I will make a special cut
price on. Such as—Good Calicoes 33 4c per yard, Ladies’ 5c Fans at 3c,
$1.25 Counterpanes at 95c—but I have not room here to mention them.
Money saved in buying goods is money made; so I say there is money
here for my customers.
Very respectfully,
G. F. TURNER,
West Side Square, GAINESVILLE, GA,
THE GAINESVILLE EAGLE.
F, C. Company Corsets, ‘
MAKE
American Beauties
rfjtgfcs EC.CO
®gg gorrect
xK|r shapes.
JMk ARTISTIC
AH
Lengths.
Ou Eacl Box.
NEWEST
MODELS. IHf
FANCY Asa
PLAIN.
FEATHERBONE CORSET CO,
SOL" MANUFACTURERS.
SOLD BY
GEO. P. ESTES.
NOW IS YOUR TIME
TO ORDER
A Ferners’ Business Record,
Arranged with Rulings and Headings
in such a manner that every transaction
and a history of every product of the
farm, can be recorded in a moment,
by simply making figures under the
proper headings, thus giving the farmer
a complete record of twenty or more
years business in a systematic and pre
cise method, the same as any other
business man.
This Reeod can be kept by any
one who can read and make
figures.
My canvassers will call within the next
month, and take orders of all farmers
who wish to know what they are doing,
and where they are at.
By keeping this Record any boy or
girl, man or woman, soon becomes
familiar with business forms and book
keeping, and thereby acquires a good
business education at home, without
worry or expense.
Don’t fail to order one when
the canvasser calls on you.
The Record is endorsed by all the busi
ness men throughout the country, and
ordered by every farmer who wants to be
successful.
A copy can be seen at the Eagle Office.
J. K. RICHARDS, Manager. "
Valuable Lands
FOR SALE.
I
The David T. Couch
Place,
containing 600 acres, about 10 miles
north of Gainesville, will be sold in
tracts of 50 to 100 acres, to suit pur-!,
chasers, at from
$4 to $5.50 Per Acre J
on the following liberal terms:
One-tenth cash and the balance in ;
ten equal annual payments, with in- ;
terest at eight per cent, straight.
This is a fine opportunity to se- ;
cure a good farm on easy terms.
For further information and prices, ;
apply to The Georgia Loan & Trust ■
Co., Macon, Ga; T. L. Robinson, ;
Price, Ga; or L. D. Puckett, Gaines- i
ville, Ga.
FTHOS. C. CANDLER,
ire insurance
GAINESVILLE, GA.
ItiUHEARTO
of all patent flours.
J Madefromhhe finest winter
1 wheat. For bread and
P astr y- Ask for it and ac
cePt no flour that has not
this brand. ioleueart bros
1 Evansville. Ind,
Zg>ANDY GAtIIARTIC
; RE
::,.L° * LL
25 50 ♦ DRUGGISTS !
1 ABSOLUTELY GUARANTEED Cnre fascarets are the Ideal Laxa- ,
I uAtrAr BeTer ? n P« r snpe.hut cause easy natural results. Sim- .
I Pl? y d £ry Ad. STERLING REMEDY CO.. Chicago. Montreal. Can., or New York. 217. i i
Established in 1860.
GAINESVILLE, GEORGIA, THURSDAY, AUGUST 12, 1897.
• Doctors Say;
I Bilious and Intermittent Fevers
I which prevail in miasmatic dis
tricts are invariably accompan
ied by derangements of the
Stomach Liver and Bowels.
The Secret of Health.
The liver is the great ” driving
wheel” in the mechanism of
man, and when it is out of order,
the whole system becomes de
ranged and disease is the result.
Tutt’s Liver Pills
Cure all Liver Troubles.
HINDERCORNS The only sure Curefni
Corns. Stops all pain. Makes walking easy. 15c. at Dru?eists.
PARKER'S
HAIR BALSAM
Cleanses and beautifies the halt
Promotes • luxuriant growth.
Never Fails to Restore Gray
Hair to its Youthful Color.
Cures scalp diseases & hair falling
50c, and * 1.00 at Druggists
ffyouareCONSUMPTIVE or have
fndierestion. Painful ills or Debility of any kind use
PARKER’S GINGER TONIC. Many who were hope
less and discouraged have regained health by its use.
VIR CIN IA COLLEGE
For YOUNG LADIES, Roanoke, Va.
Opens Sept. 91, 1897. One of the leading
Schools for Young Ladies in the South. Mag
nificent buildings, all modern improvements.
Campus ten acres. Grand mountain scenery in
Valley of Va., famed for health. European and
American teachers. Full course. Superior ad
vantages in Art and Music. Students from
twenty States. For catalogues address the
President, MATTIE P. HARRIS,
Roanake, Virginia.
Every Woman
can have
Free of all Cost
a liberal trial quantity of
ELECTRO - SILICON
The famous Silver Polish.
It’s unlike others and will surprise
you. Simply send your address on a
postal to SILICON, 30 Cliff Street,
New York, N. Y. We make special
offers to housekeepers.
j Pain-Killer J
j (PERRY DAVIS’.) }
• A Sure and Safe Remedy in every case •
J and every kind of Bowel Complaint is ,
? Pain-Killer, i
J This is a true statement and it can't be |
4 made too strong or too emphatic. f i
< It is a simple, safe and quick cure for I i
< Cramps, Cough, Rheumatism, >
< Colic, Colds, Neuralgia, ,
] Diarrhoea, Croup, Toothache. I ’
j TWO SIZES, 25c. and 50c. »
Health is We*
I ' BRALM U 1
K AJ
WtATM E
DR= E. C. WEST’S
SERVE AND BRAIN TREATMENT
THE ORIGINAL, ALL OTHERS IMITATIONS,
Is sold under positive Written Guarantee,
by authorized agents only, to cure Weak Memory,
Dizziness, Vakefulness, Fits, Hysteria, Quick
ness, Night Losses, Evil Dreams, Lack of Confi
dence, Nervousness, Lassitude, all Drains, Youth
ful Errors, or Excessive Use of Tobacco, Opium,
or Liquor, which leads to Misery, Consumption,
Insanity and Death. At store or by mail, $1 a
box; six for $5; with written guarantee to
cure or refund money. Sample pack*
age, containing five days' treatment, with full
I instructions, 25 cents. One sample only sold to
each person. At store or by mail. __
Label Special
Extra Strength.
u a* J For Impotency, Loss ofMw® ■V W
Uower, Lost Manhood, jw>
Sterility or Barrenness.! y
a box; six for $5,
gu aran
1° cure in 30 days. At v
BEFORE or by mail. AFTER
M. C. Brown & Co., Gainesville, Ga.
| IT IS WORTH ’•
i MONEY j
To us to know if the Eagle is a good ad- ♦*
vertising medium. To test this and to in- *2
& troduce our goods in this vicinity, we will fc
•o give away absolutely free a Sterling Sil- J 2
♦J ver Pickle Fork, beautiful twisted handle,
9 inches long, worth $ | .25. Cut out
this ad. Jand send with 15c for packing #3
and postage and we will send fork pre- K
I paid, together with our big bargain list tj
free, We have bargains in everything
and sell at wholesale to consumer.
AGENTS WANTED. Z
WONEWOC BARGAIN HOUSE, g
Wonewoc, Wis. »*
Wantod—An !daa
Protect your ideas; they may bring you wealth.
Write JOHN WEDDEKBURN ft CO., Patent Attor
neys, Washington, D. C., for their $1,900 prize offer
and list of two hundred inventions wanted.
QUESTION BOX
FOR THE MONTH
Inquiries Answered by the Ag
ricultural Department.
MUCH INFORMATION FOR FARMERS
Oats as a Stock Food—How to Protect
Cattle Against Flies—Damaged Vea Vina
Bay Dangerous to Horses and Malos.
Fall Irish Potatoes—Winter Legumes
and the Best Way of Raising Them.
Question. —I am a great believer in
cow peas as a renovator of our worn
lands. I know from experience how
valuable this crop is to the southern
farmer, but as these cannot be grown
in the winter, I would like to know
something of the winter legumes and
the best manner of raising them.
Answer.—Of the winter legumes
clover, in its many varieties, is perhaps
the most important, but at the outset it
must be underssood that clover will not
succeed on poor land, nor even on good
land, without careful preparation.
On heavy soils the red and white
and alsike clover succeed best. The
latter is a cross between the other
two. There is also the Japan clo
ver or lespedeza, which is not so ex
acting in its demands on the land and
which is called “the poor man’s clover,”
because it seems to flourish with treat
ment and under conditions which the
other varieties will not tolerate. These
varieties, when once planted, if properly
treated, will furnish pasturage and hay
for several years, and cover the land
summer as well as winter. A closer
analysis of your question, however,
leads me to suppose that you wish to
know of such legumes as grow in the
winter and die down in summer, thus
leaving the land free for other crops.
Os these, crimson and burr clover, also
vetch and hairy vetch have been found
most successful. The land should be
broken deeply during this mouth and
then harrowed and reharrowed until
fine and smooth. If an incipient crop
of weeds appears before time for plant
ing in September, harrow again. Apply
from 300 to 500 pounds per acre
of cottonseed meal acid phosphate
and kainit and sow the seed at
the rate 15 pounds to the acre, har
row or brush the seed in lightly and
roll the land smooth—this last is most
important. These latter crops will cover
the laud during the winter and furnish
green food through the early spring. If
the grazing or cutting is stopped in the
spring before the seeds mature these
will perfect in sufficieut quanties to re
seed the laud, and after the crop dies
down the land can then be planted in
late corn or peas. Wheu these are take i
Tiff ' the dormant clover seed will again
spring into life. The crimson clover is
highly satisfactory in many sections.
It is best suited to light lauds. The
vetch also has many enthusiastic advo
cates among those who have tried it.—
State Agricultural Department.
Fall Irish Potatoes.
Question.—Have the results of ex
periments with the fall crop of Irish
potatoes beeu fully confirmed? Is it a
certain crop and is there ready sale for
it?
Answer. —Like all other crops the
fall Irish potato crop is liable to dis
aster, but if the directions for manag
ing it, which have been so often pub
lished, are carefully followed, we may
calculate with moderate certainty on a
good yield. As in all other marketable
crops, the skill which commands success
is as much in knowing how to sell the
crop as in knowing how to make it.
These fall grown seed for spring plant
ing at the south are so far superior to
the northern grown seed that there is a
good demand among our truckers for
this fall crop. The spring crop grown
from these seed is usually superior to
that grown from northern seed. The
keeping qualities of the fall potatoes
also make them very desirable. They
do not sprout in winter. We have kept
them all winter in hills precisely as
sweet potatoes are kept and with greater
certainty. Also wheu planted at the
same time they mature earlier than the
northern grown seed. Another point
in their favor is that the superior vitality
of the southern grown seed enables the
plants to survive reverses in the spring.
A frost, which will ruin a crop
from nor then seed, will only partially
injure the others. The stems are stouter
and stronger. It is important if the
fall crop is intended for seed that they
should be green when the frost kills the
tops. If allowed to mature before frost,
they will sprout too early, as the north
ern grown potatoes do, and thus lose
much of their vitality.—State Agricult
ural Department.
Black and Keil Knut.
Question. —Will you give me some
information about the diseases our
farmers call “black rust” and “red
rust?” Can they be prevented in any
way?
Answer.—Both of these diseases are
due to physiological causes, and not to
the attacks of any fungus. The “black
rust” should be called the “yellow leaf
blight,” as iu the first stages of the dis
ease the leaves assume a decidedly yel
low-spotted or mosaic appearance, and
in this unhealthy condition they are at
tacked by various fungus growths,
which gives the leaves a black appear
ance, thus giving rise to the name
"black rust. ” The causes of the dis
ease are not well understood as yet, but
it has been demonstrated tn at the fun
gus organisms do not originate the dis
ease, and that they only hasten the de
struction of the already diseased plants.
Trials of various fungicides have proved
that the disease cannot be prevented by
their application. Experiments at the
Alabama Station showed a reduction of
the disease where kainit was used as a
fertilizer. This effect is more pro
nounced in seasons of drouth, followed
by copious rains, than when rains are
frequent enough to keep the soil con
tinually moist, and is doubtless due to
the action of the kainit “in binding
more firmly together the soil particles,
so that it is more retentive of moisture,
or more able to draw it up from below.”
"Wood ashes and salt are known to
produce much the same results iu the
soil.” The “red rust.” or “red l«af
Wight," which is so common on thin
uplands, and so rare on rich or alluvial
soils, is the result simply of impover
ished soil, showing particularly a lack
of nitrogen, and probably of potash and
phosphoric acid also. The remedy for
this is by proper rotation of crops, to
fil. your land with humus or vegetable
matter, and then with proper fertilizing
and cultivation you will no longer be
troubled with the “red rust. ” Much of
our land, by continuous planting in
cotton, is exhausted of all humus, and
only by its restoration first of all can
proper fertilizing and cultivation be
carried on—State Agricultural Depart
ment.
Topping Cotton.
Question. —Does it pay to top cotton?
If so, at what time should it be done?
Answer. This question has been
discussed pro and con for years and no
satisfactory conclusions have yet been
reached. In some experiments made at
the Georgia Experiment station the re
sults left the question as unsettled as it
has always been. In other words, some
rows that were topped showed a slight
loss iu yield, while others showed a
slight gain over the untopped rows.
The generally accepted theory is that
it does not pay to top cotton, though
under certain conditions it might prove
profitable. It is thought by many that
it hastens the maturing of the bolls al
ready set, which would be an advant
age with an early frost. Others think
that it tends to check the shedding of
the forms and young bolls, but this
claim I think unfounded. Topping cot
ton, when considered advisable, is usu
ally done when the plant is well fruited
and at the same time growing rapidly.
This condition is usually found about
the first of August, when the seasons
have been propitious. As a general
rule, I would advise against the practice.
—State Agricultural Department.
“Yellows” In Peach Trees.
Question. —ls there any remedy
known for the “yellows” in peach trees?
Answer.—Very many efforts have
been made to cure this apparently mys
terious and most destructive disease,
but all without avail. Even the cause
of the disease has uot yet been deter
mined with certainty. We do know
that it is highly contagious, and liable
to attack the most vigorous trees of any
age, especially when in bloom. It is
also known to be hereditary. The only
plan so far used successfully for fighting
this disease is to cut down and burn the
tree, root and branch. By this heroic
treatment the disease may at least be
held in check. Good care and thorough
cultivation appear to render the trees
less liable to attack, though they by no
means secure immunity from it. This
disease is very common in the orchards
of the east and north, but as yet has
done but little harm in Georgia. Want
of proper cultivation, and the work of
the "borer,” will frequently cause
peach trees to appear as though they
had the “yellows,” but the disease is as
yet rare with us, and it should not be
permitted by any carelessness to obtain
a firm foothold.—State Agricultural De
partment.
CONDITION OF THE CROPS.
Cotton Prospect Is Excellent—'ora Im
proving—Potatoes, Fruit, Etc.
COTTON.
The prospect at this time for a good
cotton crop is most excellent throughout
the state. While a few small areas
have been injured by drouth and others
by wind and hailstorms, and others
still by excessive washing rains, the
general prospect is first rate. The plants,
though a little late, are growing finely
and fruiting rapidly, and with season
able rains through August (the critical
month) the crop will be a good one.
There has been some appearance of
‘‘root rot” and “rust,” or “yellow leaf
blight,” but as yet these are not serious,
and probably will not materially lessen
the crop. In my experience, the stand
never was better, and the crop never
was cleaner and better worked than it
is at this time, and I sincerely hope that
the farmers will this year reap a fair
reward for their labor. The world’s
supply of the staple is so nearly ex
hausted that, even with a large crop,
cotton should command a good price. I
would urge upon the farmers of the
state to gather and market the crop as
rapidly as pessible, as experience has
proved that in the long run it pays to
pursue this plan. Only in the event of
a shortage in the total crop can we hope
for better prices later in the season, and
if “a bird in the hand is worth two in
the bush,” we had better gather and
sell as rapidly as possible.
CORN.
In consequence of the frequent and
general rains in July, this crop has im
proved wonderfully, and with season
able weather for two or three weeks
more, Georgia will raise sufficient corn
for her own use. In the lower part of
the state the crop is practically made,
and in some places fodder pulling has
commenced. In upper Georgia the crop
is in full "silk and tassel,” the stalks
green and vigorous and the prospect
very fine for an abundant crop. On
some of the river and creek bottoms
high water has done much damage, but
this has been confined to small areas,
and will not materially diminish the
yield. The latter part of June the corn
crop was Seriously endangered by ex
cessive heat and drouth, and there was
much uneasiness felt as to the outcome,
but timely rains have averted the
threatened disaster, and we can rejoice
in the prospect of plenty of “hog and
hominy” for another year.
PEAS, POTATOES, SUGAR CANE, ETC.
The high price of seed peas has to
some extent curtailed che acreage sowed
this year. This, the best of all soil ren
ovators for our climate, should be sowed
on every acre of stubble land, and at
"laying by” on every acre of corn land
in the state. When this is done, we
will hear less of worn out and ex
hausted soils. Where sowed, the crop
is good, growing finely under the influ
ence of the abundant rains which we
are now having. The yield promises
well.
The acreage in potatoes is not up
to tbe average, the dry weather of May
and June interfering with the planting.
Enough slips, however, have been set
out to supply the wants of the state,
and there will be no scarcity of this
product.
The stand of sugar cane is generally
reported poof, and the growth hank.
.OO Per Annum in Advance.
ward, me yield of syrup and sugar
may still be fair, however, as the cane
continues to grow and mature until
frost.
Pastures which had almost dried up
in June are again green and flourish
ing, much to the delight of the dairy
men and all who have stock to feed.
FRUIT.
The growers of most all fruits have
been disappointed this year. Water
melons from the shipping section have
been small in size and few iu number,
compared with former years, and prices
have not proved remunerative.
The peach crop has proved a failure
save iu a few favored localities; and the
total shipments from the state will not
exceed one-fifth of the usual quantity.
Plums yielded well all over the coun
try, and the grape crop, now being har
vested, is a good one.
Apples are doing well, and the crop
Will be an average one.
STOCK.
The condition of stock is fairly good,
considering how much western corn
(much of it damaged) has been used in
the state this year. There have been a
few cases of glanders reported to the
department, some cholera among hogs
and red water among cattle, but these
reports are fewer than usual this year.
Sheep are holding their own about as
they have in the past, receiving little
or no care, and a constant prey for the
many worthless dogs which roam the
country in search of food. The high
tariff recently passed by congress will
add largely to the price of wool, and
perhaps cause more attention to be
given to this valuable animal.
EARLY DAYS IN THE WEST.
A Reminder of One Sad Incident Is Found
In the Form of a Cross.
Travelers over the dreary stretch
of Nevada desert traversed by the
Central Pacific railroad come upon
the reminder of a sad little romance
near the eastern boundary of the
Silver State.
In the early twilight of the east
ern trip, or an hour after dawn on
the western, it can be seen, gleam
ing from the hillside in the form of
a simple wooden cross standing on
the hillside. The cross is white
washed and the youngest and most
sharp sighted of the tourists can de
cipher the legend in black across
the horizontal part, “Maiden’s
Rest.”
The cross marks the grave of two
lovely young women who died in an
emigrant camp before the Central
Pacific had united the east and west
by its strong bands of steel. They
were sisters, Alice and Rose Sewall.
Their father, a hale country grocer,
was a victim of that contagion
known in 1849 as the California gold
fever, and was en route in a prairie
schooner for the goldfields on the
western slope of the Sierras when
the girls sickened and died. Alice
clung to life with a pitiable grasp.
Her lover was one of the company
of lowa emigrants, and the young
couple had rosy dreams of the fu
ture home in the land beside the
Pacific. Wrestling in the throes of
fever, she would pray for recovery.
She died with her arms about her
lover’s neck and with her prayer
for life echoing in his ears.
Rose lingered days afterward un
til the fever fiend had racked her
frame beyond hope of aught but
rest. It was rest she prayed for as
she was dying and she found it in
the grave beside her sister on the
sun kissed hill on the border line of
Utah and Nevada. It was an invi
tation to the red savages of the
western wilds to mark the graves
of the dead in that later reign of
terror. There was nothing, there
fore, but memory as a guide to their
resting place when ten years later
a friend of the dead girls and their
father and the young man who had
sincerely mourned Alice’s loss visit
ed the spot again.
The old man and the young had
met death instead of fortune in the
smiling new land that was so cruel
to many of her guests. The friend
was returning from the goldfields
a poorer and wiser man, and he
stopped on the border line of Ne
vada to pay a last poor tribute to the
memory of the young women who
had given up their lives there. The
rough pine boxes were resting where
they had been lowered a decade be
fore. The friend’s purse was a very
light one and he could do no more
than erect a cross fashioned by his
own hands.—St. Louis Republic.
Anecdote of the Due d’Aumale.
Courageous in battle, the Due
d’Aumale was wanting in moral
courage and decision. He made up
his mind with difficulty. I recollect
this happening at a soiree where I
was, so far back as 1873. I was
standing near the door of the first
salon of a long suit, watching the
grand company enter. The Due
d’Aumale crossed the anteroom to
enter. The usher asked what name.
“General le Due d’Aumale.” The
man was swelling his chest to bawl
it when the due said: “No. An
nounce his royal highness the Due
d’Aumale.” But on an instant’s re
flection this did not do either, and
he said merely, “The Due d’Au
male.” Finally he said, “Say noth
ing,” and walked in unannounced.
This gave me the assurance that he
would never restore the monarchy
or set himself up as Stadtholder.—
Paris Cor. London Truth.
Useless.
The passengers of a Chester trol
ley car were very much amused the
other day by a conversation between
two colored men, one of whom was
a deacon in a down town church.
He introduced the subject of a new
fence around a graveyard and asked
his companion, who had more world
ly inclinations, for a contribution
for that purpose. His reply was:
“What yo’ want a fence round dat
graveyahd fo’ ? Live pussons doan’
want to get in, and I’m doggone
sure de dead ones ain’t a-gwine to
try an git out I ain’t got no money
fob graveyahd fences.” And the
argument was clinched right there.
—Philadelphia Record.
NUMBER 33.
A MUCH ABUSED FATHER.
A Woe Struck Man Who Is Compelled to
Take Lessons In Telegraphing.
The able and versatile horse editor
had just hung up the currycomb
and taken a hitch in his surcingle
preparatory’ to a heavy’ haul when
a gentleman from Brooklyn trotted
into the stall and sat down.
“Good morning,” remarked the
horse editor pleasantly, as he did
not owe the visitor a dent.
“What would you do under the
circumstances?” responded the vis
itor, with a kind of an escaped from
Bloomingdale gleam in his unsteady
eyes.
“Well, I’d ’a’ said ‘Good morn- •
ing,’ or ‘How are you?’ or ‘Go to
the deuce!’ or something like that,
you know—most anything would
have done just to show that you
knew how to speak when you were
spoken to. See?” And the horse ed
itor put on a smile of roasting sar
casm.
The visitor started strangely and
looked nervously’ at his gentle re
prover.
“Really’,” he said apologetically,
“you must pardon me. I’m that
worried I don’t hardly know if I’m
afoot or horseback. That’s what
I’m here for.”
“What for?” inquired the horse
editor.
“Well, what do you think of a
man of my’ age, with a grown up
wife and children, ” he said, almost
hysterically, “being compelled to
go to a night school and learn to do
telegraphing?”
“Why do you have to do it?”
“Too much education is ruining
the country,” was the apparently
irrelevant reply.
“What’s the matter with you,
anyhow ?” inquired the horse editor,
in a vexed tone.
“I’ve been imposed on—that’s all, ”
said the visitor, in the sulks. “Im
bued with the idea that I ought to
teach my four daughters something
by which they might earn their liv
ing if they couldn’t find husbands
to take the job off their hands, I
sent them to one of these telegraph
colleges, and they learned telegra
phy. Fewer women learning that
than typewriting and stenography,
and they’ll have a better show;
that’s why I chose telegraphy.
That’s all right. They learned in
fine style and easy. They’re smart.
They take after their father more
than they do after their mother, if
Ido say it myself. It wasn’t long
till they taught their mother the
dot and dash language, too, and
now, by the jumping Jehoshaphat,
them women sit around and carry
on a conversation right under my
nose, and I never know a gol darned
thing what they’re talking about
They tick on their plates at the table
with a knife or fork, and then laugh
with a ha-ha to raise the roof. I’ll
be reading my paper, when all of a
sudden I’ll hear a knocking away off
in some other part of the house, and
then whoever’s in the room where
lam will ha-ha and tiek back, and
then they will scream and tick some
more till I get up and leave. They’ve
been doing that way ever since my
wife learned how, and I don’t have
any peace. My wife learned in
about six weeks so’s she could tick
at a fair speed, and she and the girls
haven’t let a minute go by, it seems
to me, without practicing. And
when they ain’t practicing they are
talking all around me without say
ing a word. I’ve got to protect my
self in some way. How long do you
think it will take me to learn?”
“Oh, about a thousand years or
so,” replied the horse editor, and
began munching at his daily hay.—
New York Sun.
Globe Lightning.
On July 1, 1891, a fireball entered
a carpenter’s cabin near Schlieben.
The carpenter was sitting on the
edge of a bed on which a child was
sleeping. A ball of fire sprang sud
denly and with a loud noise from
the fireplace to the bed, which was
immediately shattered. Then the
ball rolled very slowly to the oppo
site wall of the room, through
which, or the floor, it apparently
vanished with another fearful crash
without setting fire to anything.
The man’s wife and another child
were sleeping in a second bed and
the baby in a cradle, all in the same
room, but none of the five persons
was wounded or even stunned. All
complained of headache and deaf
ness on account of the heavy sul
phurous vapor which filled the
room, but they soon recovered.
Some fractures were discovered
about the stove and chimney.
Less fortunate were the children
in a schoolhouse in Bouin, France,
who were visited by a fireball while
at their afternoon prayers. It was
preceded by a shower of lime, wood
and stones. The ball, which was
small, rolled along under the bench
es, killing three of the children, and
went out through a window pane,
in which it merely made a round
hole, w hereas all the other panes
were shattered.—M. Hagenau in
Popular Science Monthly.
Safe Errors.
As there are some faults that have
been termed faults on the right side,
so there are some errors that might
be denominated errors on the safe
side. Thus we seldom regret having
been too mild, too cautious or too
humble, but we often repent having
been too violent, too precipitate or
too proud.—New York Ledger.
Telling Their Ages In Missouri.
Nice Gentleman—How old are
you, little boy? And how old is
your brother?
Swipsey—We’re craps.
N. G.--Crape?
Swipsey—Yes. Jim’s seven and
i !’m ’leven.—Kansas City Star.